I hate Civilization

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This game sucks and is ultimately about some bag 3d graphics wrapped around a super simple set of boring rules.

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, 6 January 2008 18:18 (seventeen years ago)

Railroad Tycoon Deluxe >>> Civilization

caek, Sunday, 6 January 2008 18:30 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.alterentertainment.com/Images/mainheretics.gif

Noodle Vague, Sunday, 6 January 2008 19:23 (seventeen years ago)

this thread belongs on ILE y/n

El Tomboto, Sunday, 6 January 2008 19:24 (seventeen years ago)

Most of the elements of Civ are probably handled better in other games, but what makes it great is the complete package. That said I don't play it so much lately, but what would you suggest as a better turn-based strategy game on a similar scale of geography and history?

Noodle Vague, Sunday, 6 January 2008 19:27 (seventeen years ago)

in civ 4, they made all the religions mechanics fucking identical. every improvement is like lol gives more fucking bread for every sea tile.

Why can't my civilizations discover transfat and cocaine? The "great people" system is so limited! i hate this shit

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, 6 January 2008 20:13 (seventeen years ago)

I AM GOING TO BUILD A FORGE MY PRODUCTION IS BETTER YAY

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, 6 January 2008 20:14 (seventeen years ago)

I agree with all those things being shit but I still love the game, I don't know why. It's more epic than other games or something.

Noodle Vague, Sunday, 6 January 2008 20:31 (seventeen years ago)

its a fun idea but civ4 is too big to justify it

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, 6 January 2008 20:43 (seventeen years ago)

I like how there are about 2 skill levels where it's easy to win and 6 or 7 where the computer is an absolute bastard.

Noodle Vague, Sunday, 6 January 2008 20:49 (seventeen years ago)

I can win up to like the middle.

War is so tedious that it isn't even worth it.

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, 6 January 2008 21:21 (seventeen years ago)

Until a couple of nations that have been getting steadily more and more pissed off at you for not handing out free technology advances turn up on your border with gigantic armies.

I like that war is expensive and difficult to sustain, that seems fair enough, but they've erred too far in that direction and the lack of good diplomatic options makes it more or less inevitable at some point in a game. I moaned about this on the Civ 4 thread I think, I'd love to see a game with really deep diplomatic/political options.

Noodle Vague, Sunday, 6 January 2008 21:40 (seventeen years ago)

I hate the fact that certain Civs(i.e. Spain) are complete warmongering bitches, who fuck up my attempts to race up the technology tree.

Jon do you like Alpha Centauri y/n

kingfish, Sunday, 6 January 2008 21:45 (seventeen years ago)

I'd never played Civ, and I thought I should, so I bought a cheap game-plus-expansions package a few months ago. Except I got confused about the numbering, and bought Civ 3 thinking that was the newest one. Got home, installed, realised my mistake. And thought hey, I should give it a go anyway. Then (for some reason...I don't normally do this) I started reading the manual, and got hugely bored within about 3 pages, so uninstalled it without even getting as far as the "start new game" button.

JimD, Sunday, 6 January 2008 22:34 (seventeen years ago)

I never played AC

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, 6 January 2008 22:40 (seventeen years ago)

Also the combat system sucks

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, 6 January 2008 22:41 (seventeen years ago)

AC is great.

Also, never read the manuals.

kingfish, Monday, 7 January 2008 04:31 (seventeen years ago)

Where the hell can I buy Civilization II? I've been wanting to play that game, literally, for years to see what all the fuss is about.

Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 05:28 (seventeen years ago)

Amazon?

The Yellow Kid, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 18:31 (seventeen years ago)

jon otm

this took over my life ages 15-20 but it doesn't make a lick of sense

gff, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 18:52 (seventeen years ago)

europa universalis is better

gff, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 18:53 (seventeen years ago)

civ2 and master of orion ii basically defined my early teen ears (esp. the music)

thorn, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 06:00 (seventeen years ago)

i have never met a cilivization game I thought was awesome
shit is pretty terrible guys

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 06:12 (seventeen years ago)

one time, years ago, my baby sister wanted to just play with me
but I was way deep in civ2 and I was like "sorry dude, I've gotta crush the sumerians"
she just cried and cried

thorn, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 06:50 (seventeen years ago)

yeah fuck a sumerian

Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 08:47 (seventeen years ago)

Europe Universalis isn't turn-based tho is it? I am old and easily flustered by shit happening in real time.

Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 08:48 (seventeen years ago)

Europe = Europa

Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 08:49 (seventeen years ago)

it's technically rts but it goes at a snail's pace and you can pause it

gff, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 08:51 (seventeen years ago)

ships/armies move at variable rates, which is the only 'rts'-y thing in the whole game really

gff, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 08:52 (seventeen years ago)

Okay I will *coughcough*acquire*cough* a copy.

Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 09:18 (seventeen years ago)

Fucking torrent stalled at 97.5 percent.

Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 12:19 (seventeen years ago)

guys civ pwns wtf

g-kit, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 15:50 (seventeen years ago)

the harder it gets, the more you have to micro-manage every little thing, the less fun it gets.

bnw, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 16:01 (seventeen years ago)

I like how they remove more fiddly shit with each game, but then they add in more, like religions and culture wars. Keep It Simple Stupid.

abanana, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 16:09 (seventeen years ago)

with III i just cannot beat it past the "monarch" difficulty setting. the top 3 hardest levels are just impossible.

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 18:35 (seventeen years ago)

I wish there were fewer city improvements but each of them was richer

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 10 January 2008 20:10 (seventeen years ago)

i wish everything increased exponentially (economies, populations, movement, military effectiveness etc) as in history, not arithmetically. new york having 50k more people than babylon and armor working to beat phalanxes is some bullshit

gff, Thursday, 10 January 2008 21:05 (seventeen years ago)

i'd rather be playing galactic civilizations ii, or even football manager, to get my turn based strategy fixxx.

Will M., Thursday, 10 January 2008 22:10 (seventeen years ago)

or jagged alliance.

Will M., Thursday, 10 January 2008 22:10 (seventeen years ago)

two months pass...

I finally gave in and downloaded Civ IV last night (of steam). Started the tutorial and that thing just seemed to go on forever. I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to wrap my head around all that fiddly information. I got kind of fed up (cause it just kept going on and on and was boring as hell) and turned it off before even getting close to finishing the tutorial, and now the problem is - if I even want to finish that, it seems like I have to redo the whole thing again.

Buyer's remorse...

Jeff LeVine, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 20:48 (seventeen years ago)

i knew this would be a tombot thread

banriquit, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 20:51 (seventeen years ago)

???

Jordan, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 21:07 (seventeen years ago)

What makes the clown smile? Schlitz.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 21:09 (seventeen years ago)

I finally gave in and downloaded Civ IV last night (of steam). Started the tutorial and that thing just seemed to go on forever.

I borrowed it off a friend last week and had the same experience. For some reason I got hung up trying to build a road between my two cities and couldn't figure out what to do next, got bored. I'd rather play Carcassonne.

polyphonic, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 23:02 (seventeen years ago)

I may give it another shot.

Jeff LeVine, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 23:27 (seventeen years ago)

someday

Jeff LeVine, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 23:28 (seventeen years ago)

Surely they could come up with a fun way to teach you how to play the game - not a boring endless tutorial (unless playing the actual game is just more of that, which it may be)? I also found the computer animated Sid Meier head annoying and a little scary

Jeff LeVine, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 23:37 (seventeen years ago)

Civ rools. it's compulsive like few other games once you get immersed. it would be weird to just start from scratch at this point though, without having played through the evolution of game concepts from Civ I, or Civ II at least, so i can maybe understand why it'd be difficult to get into as a first exposure. maybe worth actually going back to Civ II first.

NV is spot on about the difficulty levels on Civ IV, though, which are a charade. there doesn't seem to be a gradual increase in difficulty, just a switch from easy to pointlessly hard.

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 23:38 (seventeen years ago)

I haven't played a Civ since Alpha Centauri. That said, what are you crazy, it's one of the best games ever made!?? Then again I can sorta see how it would be overwhelming now to start it now, since they've just added more and more to every sequel, and it seems like diplomatic options haven't much improved since AC.

Nhex, Thursday, 10 April 2008 06:30 (seventeen years ago)

For all its flaws it's still a game like no other, and so much more addictive than any of the other build-a-civilization games I've tried. Maybe it's a case of you love the first one in this genre that you learn to play and can't be bothered to learn a different kind of game after that. I put Civ 2 in my top 5 on the ILX poll. There's a beautiful completeness to the way the Civ games' arc plays out that keeps me persevering even when the AI is a dick.

Noodle Vague, Thursday, 10 April 2008 07:18 (seventeen years ago)

yeah I need m0AR RAM (lol 1997) and get up to snow leopard.

JIMMY MOD THE SACK MASTER (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 02:31 (fourteen years ago)

seven months pass...

anyone on ilg interested in doing a civfanatics style game of the month civ 1 game?

just reinstalled it on my computer and its p fun tbh

stepmomster (Lamp), Friday, 22 July 2011 18:16 (thirteen years ago)

i am interested in doing a civfanatics style game of the month civ 4 game.

Mordy, Friday, 22 July 2011 18:17 (thirteen years ago)

yeah i might be into that although civ 4 is kinda the worst

stepmomster (Lamp), Friday, 22 July 2011 18:22 (thirteen years ago)

Civ Rev for iPad on sale today for the first time afaik

Euler, Friday, 22 July 2011 18:28 (thirteen years ago)

roughly half price

Euler, Friday, 22 July 2011 18:28 (thirteen years ago)

Not sure - could be persuaded Lamp!

Civ 4 no way, though.

Gravel Puzzleworth, Friday, 22 July 2011 18:30 (thirteen years ago)

omg u guys are so wrong civ iv is the best (okoksecond best after civ 3). how can u say otherwise???

Mordy, Friday, 22 July 2011 19:14 (thirteen years ago)

i was never able to forgive civ 3 for capital distance production penalties.

circles, Friday, 22 July 2011 21:05 (thirteen years ago)

^^^^ oh man that shit would fuck me up.

hand me the banana of shame (NotEnough), Friday, 22 July 2011 21:17 (thirteen years ago)

the city limit was worse (build more than 30 or so cities and you will start to LOSE production overall)

little mushroom person (abanana), Friday, 22 July 2011 23:05 (thirteen years ago)

civ 3 is the best and u must deal

graveshitwave (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 July 2011 23:07 (thirteen years ago)

this game is fucking deadly for me because it's the evil intersection of history-nerd and game-nerd. if i take a break from playing and go to a party or something i can't pay attention to anyone because all i'm thinking about is MAYBE A COLONIAL WAR TO SEIZE SPAIN'S URANIUM RESERVES COULD BE WRAPPED UP QUICKLY

anyway i am a 4 person but that's mostly over 2 as i never really played 3.

my Sonicare toothbrush (difficult listening hour), Friday, 22 July 2011 23:30 (thirteen years ago)

yeah im pretty bad about fantasizing backstory to my civs as i play, as much is i like the 'natural wonders' or w/e one of the things that i want p badly is the ability to name terrain (sea of otash, an azure seven square expanse btw the bustling trade city of myrrah and the fortified city of dorter, was named after the famed pirate captain otash &c &c)

ummmm

anyway i was thinking civ o.g. would be fun since anyone can run it you can get it for free v v easily it requires no expansions to be playable and its more difficult than civ 2 + easier to play in small increments

i have copies of all of them ~around~ although civ 4 is currently uninstalled so im good for w/e but my vote wld be for the o.g. civ if anyone is interested...

stepmomster (Lamp), Friday, 22 July 2011 23:36 (thirteen years ago)

i'm in for whatever, assuming i can get it to run on linux. civ4 does if you perform the dark rituals correctly so the other ones should be fine too.

my Sonicare toothbrush (difficult listening hour), Friday, 22 July 2011 23:41 (thirteen years ago)

what's the best way to get civ 1?

circles, Saturday, 23 July 2011 00:12 (thirteen years ago)

is freeciv a close enough clone?

civ v's on sale this weekend on steam, but i'm restraining myself

Nhex, Saturday, 23 July 2011 03:16 (thirteen years ago)

Link to Civ 1 from and abandonware site:

http://files.abandonia.com/download.php?game=Civilization&secure=d4353e6a45d009305c1ebef166669dc1&td=1311402487

hand me the banana of shame (NotEnough), Saturday, 23 July 2011 06:45 (thirteen years ago)

difficult listening hour and Lamp's posts above have to be one of my favorite back-to-back sequences in recent ILX memory, bravo!

Doctor Casino, Saturday, 23 July 2011 15:11 (thirteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

so is anyone in for this? i know a week of august has already gone by but we could still do a reasonable august gotm. i will upload a save file with a 4000 b.c. save if any1 is interested

Lamp, Sunday, 7 August 2011 20:58 (thirteen years ago)

what exactly is a 'civfanatics style game'

thomp, Monday, 8 August 2011 10:23 (thirteen years ago)

ten months pass...

Been nerding out of this all day... http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/uxpil/ive_been_playing_the_same_game_of_civilization_ii/

sofatruck, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 19:20 (thirteen years ago)

Doh! Revived another thread with the same article... And yeah, nerding out on it here too.

Elvis Telecom, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 19:51 (thirteen years ago)

Oh oops... I did a search but missed it.

sofatruck, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 20:47 (thirteen years ago)

of the three threads revived today for this article, this one has the best title. (i don't agree with it tho. maybe i would if it were on ILE instead of ILG.)

a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 21:18 (thirteen years ago)

yeah, this is amazing.

Incidentally I had no idea the ice caps could melt in civ ii.

I tend to obsessively play the same scenarios over and over again in freeciv (most similar, probably, to civ 2) even though I know I can win them handily. I like to see just how handily I can win them, but even that is mostly luck by now as I've pretty much perfected my strategy.

why would she write "argh"? (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 02:06 (twelve years ago)

two months pass...

my entire game plan relied on building the united nations so that i'd be eligible for secretary-general despite not being one of the two largest civs, because then i could use my painstakingly cultivated excellent diplomatic relations with everybody to turn them against my irl best friend (playing india) and get myself elected king of the world or whatever, but THREE CONSECUTIVE SPIES failed at 80 PERCENT PROBABILITY to sabotage the production of the u.n. in delhi, and then instead of a great engineer i got a great merchant so i couldn't rush my own, and now i'm pretty sure my only chance at victory is to invade delhi and seize the u.n. building (does just holding it make you eligible or do you have to build it? i actually don't know), but everyone's defensive-pacted with everyone else so that would probably cause a global thermonuclear war, which would be the first war in human history. when we fall we fall hard.

a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 11 September 2012 16:54 (twelve years ago)

i wish we were playing rise of nations. when you're losing in that you can just launch a bunch of icbms and cause a nuclear winter out of spite.

a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 11 September 2012 16:54 (twelve years ago)

sounds like a well balanced game!

Thanks WEBSITE!! (Z S), Tuesday, 11 September 2012 17:04 (twelve years ago)

yeah i love it when you hit the late game without a clear winner cuz you actually get to use all the fun stuff as it's intended instead of just dully blowing up longbowmen with your helicopter gunships. the corporations in beyond the sword are probably the platonic stop-adding-shit-to-civ addition, but i'm actually really into them; i'd be fucked at the moment if i didn't control SID'S SUSHI CO. one of the common complaints about religion in vanilla civ4 is that they're all identical (although surely you can see why they did this rather than like give islamic civs a military-expansion bonus) and the corporations fix this (even if the ones that generate food are probably unintentionally better than all the others). plus i like that you can aggressively expand them into enemy civs and suck up all the money. (and that, pace friedman, they have no diplomatic effect at all.)

a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 11 September 2012 17:26 (twelve years ago)

things in civ that make no sense, though: WHY. CAN YOU NOT. SHIP FOOD. FROM ONE CITY TO ANOTHER. been playing a bunch of master of orion 2 lately and specialization in that makes so much more sense: you have agricultural planets and industrial planets, and the former feed the latter.

a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 11 September 2012 17:28 (twelve years ago)

then when someone blockades an industrial planet it's a huge awesome crisis cuz the workers start starving en masse.

a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 11 September 2012 17:29 (twelve years ago)

ya... you used to be able to transport food in CIV II or some crazy old version. rip

Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 11 September 2012 18:28 (twelve years ago)

yes this game makes 0 sense

goole, Tuesday, 11 September 2012 18:31 (twelve years ago)

really nothing moves except armies! populations, commodities, "ideas" etc., all static.

that and the differences between eras are really minimal when they should be gigantic. ancient athens was, what 25k? that's the size of a suburb now, or a favela. the range and killing power of modern machines is many decimal points greater than spearmen.

I COULD GO ON

goole, Tuesday, 11 September 2012 18:34 (twelve years ago)

well money's global (and thus so is research and "espionage points") and resources are available in any city you connect to the trade network. (so you can do cool stuff like destroy the roads leading to a city you're besieging, so that they don't have copper or iron or oil or whatever it is they need to build the kind of units that would offer a defense.) but yeah that's it. the game acts like the population numbers refer to actual population ("the burgeoning greek empire now contains one million souls!") but since yes they clearly make no sense i just ignore them; they're game-numbers not sim-numbers. (you can also decide that at some point they start representing millions rather than thousands, or whatever.) in big macro ways i'm often surprised by how successful the sim is (considering all the micro-level compromises); by the midgame there are always legitimate (and complicated!) geopolitical reasons things are the way they are. considering that it's entirely procedurally-generated (unlike something like europa universalis which has one cribbing eye on real history the whole time) it's neat.

a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 11 September 2012 18:47 (twelve years ago)

we should have a moo2 thread though. ERADICATE THE CAPTURED POPULATION OF THIS PLANET AT 1 MILLION A TURN? YES/NO

a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 11 September 2012 18:48 (twelve years ago)

resources are available in any city you connect to the trade network.

sounds cool! i never played past 3 btw

goole, Tuesday, 11 September 2012 18:51 (twelve years ago)

what bugs me about the latest incarnation is that there's no inflation that goes towards trade. 30 turns of a luxury resource gets you $240 whether it's 200 bc or 2000 ad - even tho everything else is much more expensive that much later in the game.

ok, there's that and no science trading. i miss being able to gift gun powder to the tiny civ fighting a geopolitical foe!

Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 11 September 2012 18:58 (twelve years ago)

Yeah, as I complained on the other thread, they really stripped out a lot that I like about civ with the latest one.

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Wednesday, 12 September 2012 02:33 (twelve years ago)

three years pass...

Civ games are fascist

― the people vs peer gynt (goole), Wednesday, August 26, 2009 12:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just saw this post in Mario was a hero to most but he never meant shit to me , made me realize this has actually been on my mind a lot lately. like how much i played this game as a kid, and how much I've, unrealizingly, had to un-learn so many of its tropes. many of which are standard-issue grand-narratives stuff (the teleology of technology, history as the history of wars and of material accumulation, eurocentric take on cultural achievements and 'wonders' etc., actually generally assuming that the narrative of europe is fundamentally the narrative of history even if it gets won by the zulus this time out - the zulus will progress from pottery to bach to stealth bombers).... and some of which may be unique to the experience of playing history as a game like this.

so getting back to fascism: the conceit of the game is that you somehow play the continuous leader of a civilization, forever, directing its actions and standing as the sort of personal body of the nation --- or something - and this doesn't change even though the civilization moves from monarchy to "democracy" - "democracy" proves to be a sham, you still make all the decisions exactly as you did before, but some economic and public-satisfaction calculations shift around. your goal is to crush all other nations and have your people love you, at whatever cost. "civilization," folks!

Doctor Casino, important war pigeon (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 18:15 (nine years ago)

four years pass...

started a civ 2 game

adorable how Deomocracy = zero corruption + 'limits' on war

mookieproof, Sunday, 29 March 2020 04:47 (five years ago)

that'd be *actual* democracy rather than the US military-industrial oligarchy

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 29 March 2020 06:15 (five years ago)

thank's

mookieproof, Sunday, 29 March 2020 06:30 (five years ago)

#trenchant

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 29 March 2020 07:10 (five years ago)

President Tracer Hand of the Mixers would like to have a word with you

mookieproof, Sunday, 29 March 2020 07:18 (five years ago)

I'm waiting for Fred to show up

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 29 March 2020 07:40 (five years ago)

we are holding off on contacting fred until our stealth fighters can subdue his enclaves

mookieproof, Sunday, 29 March 2020 07:46 (five years ago)

i was thinking the other day how fanaticism was civ2's version of fascism -- and how if you are playing a democracy and a war starts, the best strategy is to switch to fanaticism during the war.

wasdnuos (abanana), Sunday, 29 March 2020 10:02 (five years ago)

I really wanted to get Civ6 but my cruddy old 'HD Ready' TV overscans everything slightly and cuts off the edge of the game and there's no way to switch it off. So instead I got a game called Dawn Of Man where you take a village of prehistoric stone age people up through and into the Iron Age. Not sure what to make of it yet

doorstep jetski (dog latin), Sunday, 29 March 2020 10:33 (five years ago)


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