100 reasons why the 2007 Playoffs sucked

6) No Sonics

7) john doesn't know how to spell Rasheed

8) david stern ass-rapin' suns for special no-fun playoff

(should be #1 obv)

oh wait

9) playoff seeded my meaningless system where bad teams play bad teams and good teams play good ones

10) celtics no durant

11) 9 otm

12) Mavs out in first round. ::cries::

forks, do you seriously think that the teams the cavs beat would have a chance in the finals against the spurs?

5a) Easter Conference have no business in the finals

13) Finals color man's accent

(I'm sure he's someone famous or whatever but i CANNOT listen to that fucking guy)

Do you mean Jeff Van Gundy's New York accent, or Marc Jackson's non-accent accent?

jvg needs a sedative.

yeah fuck a van gundy that's the guy

14) fuck golden state for giving me hope
15) fuck golden state for killing the only team that had a chance at stomping the dickass spurs

15 otm

16) No exciting finishes! (none that I can recall, at least)
17) Having to hear about the Horry hipcheck shit OVER AND OVER, my god. Suns would've lost anyhow.
18) Eva Longoria
19) Bulls are pussies
20) Spurs too effective at cockblocking LBJ

uh, what about the pistons-cavs double overtime?!
(re: 16)

21) East and West-coast people bitching and moaning about how boring the Spurs are, even though if the team was in LA, everyone would be talking about their EXCITING DEFENSE!!!!!!!!

22) First couple of rounds going 7 games. How many times do we have to see the Suns kick the shit out of the Lakers?

21 RONG

21 RIGHT. It's basketball. When you play good basketball, you play good defense. You either get real basketball or you get poopy hoops where a foul is called anytime someone breaths on Steve Nash. That's where we're at now, and it's pathetic.

16 NOTM. see games 1 & 2 of utah/GS and game 7 of utah/houston. i may be biased since my team won all those games, but they were all down to the wire and exciting

the game where the mavs were eliminated was as exhilirating as any basketball game i've ever seen.

i don't think the spurs are boring because of the kind of basketball they play, they're boring cuz everyone's completely fucking sick of them. and they don't really do anything interesting they just do it really well. ginobli/parker/duncan are each as good as any player in the league tho, it's not like they are a bunch of scrubs who just play good team basketball, those dudes would be superstars on any team.

cf. Pete Carril's Princeton teams from the 90s in the NCAA Tourney

18. http://juicy-news.blogspot.com/2006/07/makeupless-eva-longoria.html

barring the cavs/detroit game (i forgot the game itself was exciting amidst all the lebronness), those are some pretty damn boring exciting games listed.

#16 revised: Not enough exciting finishes.

oh evapaws :'(

tony parker won the title but lost his lunch

<i>forks, do you seriously think that the teams the cavs beat would have a chance in the finals against the spurs?</i>

I think the pistons I remember from last year could've taken them; I don't know who the hell the guys on the court this year were but they bore very little resemblance.

And yah rashEEEEEEEEEEEEEd; happy tza?

23) Bill Walton still on television
24) Steven Smith still on television (seriously, I couldn't remember dude's name, so I googled "obnoxious espn jackass host basketball" to find it. Second hit.)
25) Irk Nowitzki schnitzels.
26) Jason Kidd not getting any younger
27) No public meltdown from Mark Cuban makes their loss somehow less enjoyable
28) Best known players on the Cavs besides King LeBron are a rookie named Boobie and a 31 year old Lithuanian named Zydrunas... no wait, that's kinda awesome.
28, revised) No ring for Zydrunas and Boobie
29) 8 million "Booby Prize" headlines
30) Big Ben looking like he's headed to the land of could'a been
31) No likelihood of Shaq retiring
32) Playoffs lead to 'Shaq's Big Challenge'
33) Shaq

Any finals that results in a sweep should be considered a mulligan and a best-of-three bonus series wherein the winner of the sweep should be matched against one team from either conference handpicked by Muggsy Bogues.

32) Playoffs lead to 'Shaq's Big Challenge'

oh god that show. it makes me want to flush america down the toilet. worst sports/reality/game show combo EVER.

I think the pistons I remember from last year could've taken them; I don't know who the hell the guys on the court this year were but they bore very little resemblance.

this is true, though i feel it mostly applies to playoff pistons. this is my major grudge with them - they play well all season then choke in the playoffs (which happened last year too, even w/ sheed). they definitely would have stood a better chance against the spurs, and that is the real shame. it would have been a much more exciting final. but, 2 years in a row to have chokey playoffs losing is just unacceptable. get it together, dudes!!!!

re: 28, before i gave a shit about lebron i was all about some ilgauskas! i hate to even give a shit about lebron but you can't deny that he carries that team. that makes me sad.

and fuck jason kidd.

er, i meant even w/ big ben.

(drunk)

34FOR TEH LAST TIME PEOPLE DONT HATE THE SPURS CAUSE THEYRE FROM SOME SHITTY TEXAS BORDER TOWN THEY HATE THEM MOSTLY CAUSE THEIR GAMES USUALLY END IN THE 80S AND SOMEWHAT BECAUSE THEYRE A BUNCH OF TEDIOUS EYE BUGGING UNDERCUTTING FLOPPERS THAT IS WHY

35) nba changing rules and enforcement emphasis to encourage the game to resemble actual basketball and then pretending it never happened in the playoffs. haha suns u got zinged! waht did you think we were serious lol

36 this thread

CAUSE THEYRE FROM SOME SHITTY TEXAS BORDER TOWN

fighting words

CAUSE THEIR GAMES USUALLY END IN THE 80S

factually incorrect

BECAUSE THEYRE A BUNCH OF TEDIOUS EYE BUGGING UNDERCUTTING FLOPPERS

WHAT?! 0_o

37) Ginobli's schnozz

yeah originally i thought jhoshea was being "ironic" with that san antonio slam, now i am less sure. san antonio is an awesome town, i like it a lot. i like the spurs too, but i find them unloveable. basketball isn't about lovability though.

oh by the way jemele hill on espn says spurs are better than the celtics or the pistons or the lakers or any team ever.

38) Basketball apparently not about lovability

PEOPLE DONT HATE THE SPURS CAUSE THEYRE FROM SOME SHITTY TEXAS BORDER TOWN

herro i was responding to all the coastal bias accusations. i have no idea how shitty san antonio is as i've never been there. but yeah not only is that team unlovable they are sooo fucking tedious. may tim duncan never play in another nba game! (he can have more time to shoot paintballs and get wizard tattoos and do what ever other nerd activities he enjoys)

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a16/andrewlazor/duncan.jpg
WAHT A DOUCHE

goodbye i love hoops, smell ya later

x-post

face of greatness

#36 otm

39. the horrid shooting percentages

D5 and Clay, just curious: did you think this was a GOOD playoffs?

i'm curious about the tediousness claim. like, the spurs are tedious because they're so reliably powerful? because they're not know for having tantrums on the court? because tim duncan seems nerdy and his eyeballs are buggy?

(i seriously don't know where to begin with that comment - nice work. why not call him a tom and be done with it.)

I was about to answer you but then that parenthetical scared the liberal guilt outta me.

Duncan's a great player; probably one of the best of all time, but he's not super-exciting to watch on the court in the way that Baron Davis, Jason Kidd, Amare Stoudamire or Rip Hamilton are (all of whom, I think you'd have to argue, are not better, or at least "more desirable to have on your team" than Duncan). He also seems to be either moping or glaring pretty much all the time, which does not really endear him to me. I have similar issues with Yao, but I'm warming to him this season.

lauren - do you watch basketball? the way he plays basketball is boring. judging from the finals ratings every time the spurs are there most basketball fans agree w/me.

as fr the tom comment WTF SRSLY WTF IS THE MATTER W/YOU

i agree that he's not super-exciting to watch, but i also don't think he's boring, and i have a lot of respect for his talent. the mopey/glaring face expression is there, yeah, but that seems to affect a lot of people. i think webber and mcdyess both look like their on the verge of tears most of the time, for instance.

re: the tom comment, SRSLY WTF IS THE MATTER W/ YOU? CN YOU NOT SEE WHY CALLIN A BLK PLAYER NERDY AND BRINGIN UP BUGGY EYEBALLS WLD MAKE SOMEONE THINK THAT?

really, it's just an unfortunate conjunction of insults but the effect for me was a serious wtf.

(i've also been editing my friend's doc thesis, of which cooning and tomming are discussed at great length, so i'm probably oversensitive. apologies for fomenting the flamey aspects of this thread.)

oh fuck the one expression tim duncan is known for, the eye bugging complaint every time he's called for a foul, something every basketball fan associates w/him. sorry if buggy eyes and making fun of lame nerd activities titillated yr racism matrix, but plz take some time to unpack the content before making yr lazy racism accusations.

and as for the bullshit oft heard theory that dislike for the spurs is based on their good-guy behavior. where does this put the suns? arguably the team w/the most appeal over the last few years based on style of play. are amare stodimire, steve nash, sean marion, boris diaw and leandro barbosa all super trill or what? are stephen jackson and ron artest the most popular players?

the spurs play a v methodical, defensive oriented style that most people dont like. this is exacerbated by the unsavory personality issues: tim duncan never shows any emotion except for when he does the eye bugging why me routine. tony parker makes historically bad french rap and has an annoying tv star girlfriend. manu ginobilli is the most egregious flopper in the league. and bruce bowen has repeatedly indulged in play that's not just dirty but dangerous.

A nerdy baller ought to have cred here, cmon you guys.

Nobody's dissing his skills -- like forks said, he'll go down as one of the GOATs -- just that how he implements those skills (OMG KISS OFF THE GLASS X 1000zzzz) is hardly inspiring, esp. compared to THE DUNK or somesuch. Instead of lifting your jersey, you're more compelled to golf clap.

that tattoo on his back that peaks out from his jersey is of a merlin fyi

more details of his nerdly ways http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-24-135/Kindly-Cast-Your-Spell-On-Us-Now--Tim-Duncan.html

for the record all that geekiness actually makes him more appealing, like look he actually might have a personality under there, he just so annoys me overall.

Forks,

No, I thought the playoffs were repugnant and featured some of the least inspired post-season basketball I've seen in a dog's age. I just think this thread is just nit-picky about the wrong stuff. If I get around to rereading the thread maybe I'll remember which stuff that is exactly.

OK I was thinking about it and I came to two conclusions:

1) If the Spurs play boring, oh well. I'd rather they play that style than the league changing the rules any more to make it more offensive-oriented. Having the referees so involved is what is turning me off the NBA, especially since different players (Wade and Nash) get many, many more foul calls than other players (Shaq, Kobe), and certain times in the game (the entire first 11:30 of a quarter gets way more foul calls than the final :30 (in which you can do whatever the hell you want). Lame

2) The real problem is not the Spurs, the real problem is the Cavs. The Phoenix Spurs series was not boring, because it was offensive vs. defensive. That's a great matchup, and will happen again. The East is the real problem here, not the rules.

jhoshs i am wondering what your fav teams to watch are? i asked my spurs-hatin friend about that and he rattled off a bunch of teams like houston, GS and denver.