here's a pats thread for everyone to talk about patritos shit because nobody else cares

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not sure if anyone posted this yet so:

Which, sure, except that Favre is already gone, and has been for some time. There's plenty to mourn about his departure, because he used to be fun and because he'll be replaced by narcissists of a crueler and more corporate cast—think of Tom Brady's joyless tuff-model mug, or Tim Tebow's blissful, boring evangelical boilerplate. Favre did indeed hang on too long, but not in the sense of no longer being able to make the throws or take the hits anymore. His mistake was getting high on his own supply, and sticking around long enough to disappear into his own misty mythos. Celebrity hollowed him out, as it does, and what's left of his old roguish joy now feels false and overdetermined; his press conferences may well be honest, but they are also claustrophobic—weird, rambling tours of the ornate, echoing ego-Xanadu in which he lives. He can't go away any more than Lindsay Lohan can, because there is an industry that depends on him, from which he also draws a sizable paycheck. But the better Favre—the one who really was Like A Kid Out There, as opposed to the one who merely regressed to childishness by overindulgence and self-addiction—is a long time and a long way gone.

http://www.theawl.com/2010/12/the-kid-fades-from-the-picture

Mordy, Monday, 27 December 2010 17:12 (thirteen years ago) link

oops, wanted to put this in the weekly thread. but i guess it fits here bc of the brady diss. my bad!

Mordy, Monday, 27 December 2010 17:13 (thirteen years ago) link

lol, that guy has a pick em where he competes all year against a tossed coin and the coin is winning by a healthy margin

it Terribel !!! (forksclovetofu), Monday, 27 December 2010 18:58 (thirteen years ago) link

so, pats face winner of jets vs colts unless KC beats baltimore. so pats face winner of jets vs colts. shit man. i am gonna have to be p damn drunk to watch that game tbh.

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 3 January 2011 04:49 (thirteen years ago) link

three months pass...

Looks like a good choice.

Trading away their other 1st round pick, not so much...

Moodles, Friday, 29 April 2011 23:11 (thirteen years ago) link

argh this lip smacking thing that belichick does all the time in press conferences. it's so fuckin horrible. i can't bear it.

Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 30 April 2011 13:24 (thirteen years ago) link

two months pass...

PATRITOS

tully bc RELEASED
logan manx TENDER SIGNED

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 26 July 2011 20:13 (thirteen years ago) link

i guess we have some defensive ends. on a related note, word is that jermaine cunningham does not look too hot going into year 2.

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 8 August 2011 11:15 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

belichick doc on nfl network RIGHT NOW

that is one serious maryland accent he has. pure maryland. the kind of accent that makes it sound like you're constantly pissed off about everything

daria-g, Friday, 16 September 2011 01:06 (thirteen years ago) link

i was like "why is he worried the fans are going to throw stuff at him in the preseason??"

then you realize they're in philadelphia

daria-g, Friday, 16 September 2011 01:09 (thirteen years ago) link

hahaha this was so great. i respect their knack for capturing the absurdity that comes with following any human being around for a year:

- bill leaves an awkward voicemail for terry francona

- bill can't reset the clock in his car and greg gumbel commiserates

call all destroyer, Friday, 23 September 2011 03:21 (thirteen years ago) link

Bill's unrelenting boringness made the whole thing fascinating. Like the scene of Bill and Kraft sitting in his office on game day, idly muttering to each other. THAT'S what they had to boil an entire year down too? There must be hours and hours of him saying nothing.

Matt Armstrong, Friday, 23 September 2011 04:08 (thirteen years ago) link

yah he's a boring guy but that's cool, i don't mind boring guys most of the time.

call all destroyer, Friday, 23 September 2011 04:14 (thirteen years ago) link

Halloween at the roller rink, with Bill dressed as a pirate and Randy Moss dressed as Spongebob, was an image I will not soon forget.

polyphonic, Friday, 23 September 2011 08:06 (thirteen years ago) link

BILLS (+8.5) over Patriots

Q: I can't fight it anymore. I love watching the Patriots. They are a bunch of nobodies playing as the ultimate team. What I mean by nobodies are players who no one else thought much of. That qualifies for Brady, Welker, Haynesworth, their RBs, their WR's other than Ocho, and pretty much everyone else. They play so well as a team in whatever set, and they don't care who gets the ball. Its fun, I give up.
— Cole in Des Moines

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

J0rdan S., Friday, 23 September 2011 18:08 (thirteen years ago) link

what the fuck, who is saying the bills are nine point favorites over the patriots

Dudley Daigle: Tugboat Captain (forksclovetofu), Friday, 23 September 2011 18:56 (thirteen years ago) link

When was the last time the Pats lost to the Bills? 2003?

Moodles, Friday, 23 September 2011 20:10 (thirteen years ago) link

what the fuck, who is saying the bills are nine point favorites over the patriots

― Dudley Daigle: Tugboat Captain (forksclovetofu), Friday, September 23, 2011 6:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

+8.5 means the Bills are 8.5 point underdogs.

speaking of Moss, I thought he seemed super chill and cool in that scene with Bill where they discuss the Halloween party.

Matt Armstrong, Saturday, 24 September 2011 00:06 (thirteen years ago) link

Ah okay. As you can see, i dont gamble

Dudley Daigle: Tugboat Captain (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 24 September 2011 12:13 (thirteen years ago) link

brady went and cut his hair!!! do you think it will make belichick change?

he's just a guy with a new haircut

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Wednesday, 28 September 2011 17:00 (thirteen years ago) link

did he get a mohawk

Dudley Daigle: Tugboat Captain (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 September 2011 17:36 (thirteen years ago) link

buffalo is delilah!

horseshoe, Wednesday, 28 September 2011 17:39 (thirteen years ago) link

ha, isn't the Bills bar in Chicago called Delilah's?

boxall, Wednesday, 28 September 2011 17:41 (thirteen years ago) link

let's not examine that allusion to closely because it doesn't make any sense

xp YES!

horseshoe, Wednesday, 28 September 2011 17:42 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYNwfq84hJU

lol-qaeda (am0n), Tuesday, 11 October 2011 05:35 (thirteen years ago) link

"ah fuck you mason just fuck you will ya?"

lol-qaeda (am0n), Tuesday, 11 October 2011 05:40 (thirteen years ago) link

this fucken guy

loads of personality, loved to chase chickens (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 11 October 2011 14:28 (thirteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

New England Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman is due in Boston Municipal Court today where he will be arraigned on charges of indecent assault and battery on a woman, Suffolk District Attorney Daniel F. Conley’s office said.

Boston police spokeswoman Elaine Driscoll said officers were called to the Storyville nightclub on Exeter Street in the Back Bay around 1:30 a.m. today to investigate reports of an assault.

After police spoke with the female victim, Edelman was arrested on a single count of indecent assault and battery, Driscoll said. Edelman was taken into custody but later posted bail and released by police.

Driscoll said out of respect for the confidentiality of the information the victim supplied to police, she would not provide specific details of the allegation against Edelman.

In a report on the case, Boston police said Edelman was inside the nightclub on Halloween night when he allegedly reached underneath the woman’s costume and groped her below the waist.

A man who was with the woman told police that a man – later identified as Edelman – bumped into the woman on the dance floor. “He saw the victim’s face change into an expression of shock,’’ police said in the report.

The man then confronted Edelman on the dance floor and “threatened to beat him up’’ while the woman tried to calm him down, police said. The man and the woman were ejected, followed by Edelman, police said.

The man and the woman and Edelman were thrown out of the nightclub by bouncers to calm the situation, police were told by nightclub staff.

When police arrived, Edelman denied groping the woman, police said.

However, after the man and woman positively identified him, Edelman was charged with indecent assault and battery.

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 1 November 2011 14:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Two things: Wes Welker wouldn't ever do this and is there "decent" assault and battery in Suffolk Co?

Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 1 November 2011 15:06 (thirteen years ago) link

#weswelkerwouldnt

google sluething so hard right now (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 1 November 2011 15:07 (thirteen years ago) link

I hope he gets ejected from the team immediately. I really don't think I can handle cheering for a team that will look the other way when this kind of thing happens. I'm not from Pittsburgh after all!

Moodles, Tuesday, 1 November 2011 16:46 (thirteen years ago) link

story sounds crooked to me. not that i can't imagine a football player groping a woman in a club.

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 1 November 2011 18:28 (thirteen years ago) link

Then of course after the '90 season, Tom came here and I went to Cleveland, so we haven't been together since then but we've had, whether he was there or in Jacksonville or in New York or I was in Cleveland or I was in wherever I was before coming back here, we've always maintained a good friendship.

i love that coach bill hates the jets so much that he can't even stomach to acknowledge he was there. he's the greatest *swoon*

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 2 November 2011 22:40 (thirteen years ago) link

the coach's art of pretend forgetfulness

google sluething so hard right now (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 3 November 2011 04:42 (thirteen years ago) link

So are the Pats now a "finesse" team?

Moodles, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:48 (thirteen years ago) link

wes welker u are a pa-treat-o

PTSD clarinet kid (am0n), Sunday, 6 November 2011 23:52 (thirteen years ago) link

gross

horseshoe, Sunday, 6 November 2011 23:53 (thirteen years ago) link

u mad?

PTSD clarinet kid (am0n), Monday, 7 November 2011 00:00 (thirteen years ago) link

just jealous

horseshoe, Monday, 7 November 2011 00:02 (thirteen years ago) link

lol

Juggy Brottleteen (ENBB), Monday, 7 November 2011 00:27 (thirteen years ago) link

this team has all of the hallmarks of a 10-6 team that misses the playoffs, and that only thanks to the soft second half schedule. i don't think a pats team under bb has ever been bad in quite so many areas. maybe having a position coach and no one as your coordinators isn't the paradigm redefining genius that no one thought it was, although they have a gen-u-ine ST coordinator and that might actually be their worst phase of play. but playcalling has definitely exaggerated the crazy personal issues.

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 7 November 2011 00:44 (thirteen years ago) link

they just kind of suck

call all destroyer, Monday, 7 November 2011 00:59 (thirteen years ago) link

i just think they straight up have no talent on defense -- wilfork and mayo and chung are pretty great, but you could make an argument that no one after that (except maybe mccourtney) should be starting for a team that has super bowl aspirations. they absolutely cannot rush the passer and they can't cover anyone. and of course those two issues exacerbate the other. they've really screwed up the draft.

J0rdan S., Monday, 7 November 2011 01:19 (thirteen years ago) link

i think ras-i dowling is gonna be pretty good, but obviously he's hurt

J0rdan S., Monday, 7 November 2011 01:20 (thirteen years ago) link

but there's been so many pass rushers in the past two drafts and the pats just haven't picked any of them except for jermaine cunningham but he's not a 10 sack a year guy

J0rdan S., Monday, 7 November 2011 01:21 (thirteen years ago) link

he's also been totally invisible this year which is a running theme with their defensive draft picks

call all destroyer, Monday, 7 November 2011 01:42 (thirteen years ago) link

reiss at espn (who is v understated about it if he ever says anything critical) has said a number of times that maybe belichick could use a sounding board as far as making decisions in the draft.. i mean, it seems to me they have had a lot of the same issues since late 2007

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Monday, 7 November 2011 01:56 (thirteen years ago) link

cunningham has been a healthy scratch last couple games. pass rush has been better than last year but coverage has been worse. andre carter is doing well, spikes is effective when they rush him the DTs. belichick is notoriously particular about his linebackers being versatile, which has left them with some dudes who can do everything ok, eg ninkovich, while deftly avoiding more one dimensional players like clay matthews.

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 7 November 2011 02:57 (thirteen years ago) link


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