America's favorite dystopian pastime - 'out of the darkness' NFL 2023-24

If your Spirit Animal in the dark states you should go to the Jets, should you really trust the trickster?

He seems to be having the time of his life there so far

We will see. Playing for the Jets is an adventure.

I have managed to completely avoid football talking heads for the most part, so I have no idea anymore who is really going to be good other than the usual suspects. And to be honest, the usual suspects usually are there.

I am playing fantasy for the first time in years in a league that has been around since the mid-90s from guys I went to college. I got name brand players, but I never do that good at this stuff and when I do everyone gets injured in the last month of the season. I think my WR's are a bit weak. I did get a couple of young WR in Zay Flowers and KJ Osborn in later rounds just in case they get to playing a bunch.

QB Patrick Mahomes KC
RB Nick Chubb CLE
RB Travis Etienne JAX
WR DeAndre Hopkins TEN
WR Deebo Samuel SF
TE George Kittle SF
FLEX David Montgomery DET
K Evan McPherson CIN
D/ST San Francisco 49ers

It is interesting to see Detroit getting the marquee kick off game. How it goes tonight will depend on whether anyone sees them again until Thanksgiving.

Lions just went for it in the 1st quarter on their own 15, gotta love em

look at the bengals spending money

pretty good times for Detroit, they ended last season by eliminating GB in Lambeau on national TV (during Aaron Rodgers' farewell game no less), now start this one by beating the Super Bowl champion on the road in the season opener

https://lifetakes829220577.files.wordpress.com/2020/09/img_2410.jpg

Glad to see I was not the only one that noticed that KC offensive tackle was getting away with false starts left and right. They should have called that probably close to a half dozen times and I fell asleep near the end of the 3rd quarter.

Amon Ra St. Brown is a HOF football name and the guy has some really good hands. He is really good.

at the two-minute warning in the first half, the steelers are being outgained 223-1

first downs are 14-0

Did not see Cincinnati losing to Cleveland by 3 touchdowns

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F5sda9qaMAAifTK?format=webp&name=900x900

delighted by the name of philadelphia eagles running back "kenneth gainwell"

lmao that the Bears waited so long for Rodgers to leave the NFC North only to get pancaked in Jordan Love's debut as a starting QB

Giants should consider themselves lucky they're only down 40

TUA TIME

his last TD throw was unbelievable

gonna be fun to see the camera linger on Rodgers during the 9/11 tributes tonight

Jags looked shaky in the first half yesterday, got it going in the second. I'm excited about their prospects this year.

Who will make it to Vegas to face the Detroit Lions in Superbowl LVIII? The Jacksonville Jaguars? The Cleveland Browns? The NY Jets? Place your bets.

Aaron Rodgers running out the American flag.

Vomit.

no way

RIP Aaron Rodgers era, lasted three minutes

lmaooo

He got hit on all three dropbacks

lol even for the jets this is pretty tough

WFAN is going to be fucking WILD to listen to tomorrow

Another brutal Sept 11 for New York

lol

i barely pay attention to the NFL anymore but i'm here for this

Lmao frogbs

News probably slow to come out because Rodgers is insisting vaccines be listed as the cause of injury

so predictable

Officially ruled out

Who wants to post Bosko Balaban stats

truly a darkness retreat

That the NYJ brought in Rodgers and then didn't bother to secure the OL is just incredible.

That looked like high ankle sprain all over it.

perfect cut to a NYJ fan after that interception

I felt a great disturbance in the concourse, as if thousands of firemen suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced

high ankle sprain is honestly on the better end of options, torn achilles could be career ending

Maybe investing your entire future in a 39 year old whose health regimen is having lots of diarrhea wasn't such a good idea

Wonder how many Rodgers jerseys being returned to the store tomorrow

Let’s not overreact to what the Jets doctors tell us about Aaron Rodgers’ injury

Better to let Rodgers do his own research

— Justin Herzig (@JustinHerzig) September 12, 2023

Hard to think of a more convincing rebuttal to the power of manifestation than Aaron Rodgers getting his ankle mangled on his first series

— Samer (@Samer) September 12, 2023

Aaron Rodgers
Position: Quarterback
Born: December 2, 1983 (age 39) Chico, California, U.S
Teams:
Green Bay Packers (2005-2022)
New York Jets (7:21 PM-7:26 PM)

seriously though hope he manages to come back and play at least 60% of the snaps this season

Troy with a good observation they probably relied on Aaron to read the defense at the line and now Nathaniel Hackett has to call plays which is something he's very much not good at

feeling like i could also post a 39.6 RTG in the NFL

https://i.imgur.com/zc91YEg.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/eoSTaOe.png

HAHAHAHAHA

front offices are so impatient and do such a shitty job of contract management by just fucking Tuesday to save Monday that by the time the QB blossoms all of the key supporting cast on both sides of the ball wind up departing due to being franchise tagged or reaching the 'backloaded' portion of their contract so then the player starts playing lights out and the team wins less and the QB gets blamed because for some reason people still think "wins" are a QB stat

I really hope Caleb winds up being the answer but if there's one thing I've learned it's that every team seems to have at one point or another accidentally tripped over a legitimate starting quarterback who, while maybe not a super bowl winner or a hall of famer, winds up being some type of legitimate pro bowl type. except for the bears.

well surprise surprise

https://www.msnbc.com/the-reidout/reidout-blog/aaron-rodgers-immigrants-military-nfl-rcna143659

pretty wild that you get blackballed from the league for suggesting police unfairly target black people but not for suggesting the military is full of traitors and that our election system is rigged

But completely unsurprising.

hope he steps on a bear trap running onto the field this year

Diggs to Houston.

jeeeeesus

what??

Bills just took a $30 million dead cap hit to send Stefon Diggs to the Texans and they're giving up two of their own draft picks and only getting a second rounder...in 2025.

make it make sense. seems like they're throwing in the towel on 2024 to save 2025 or something.

meanwhile, Stroud can throw to whomever the fuck he wants next year lol

maybe I don't understand the Bills situation but this seems really bad for a team that was #4 in point differential last year

diggs has seemed to want out of buffalo for two years now. can't really ask more from a pass offense than what the texans now have. even a diminished diggs will be an incredible complement to collins and dell

it just seems weird because keeping him would have cost them only $27 million. trading him cost them 30+ million, and two draft picks, and the draft pick they're getting isn't until next year.

it appears they're throwing in the towel on 2024 to save 2025 but....risky proposition in the NFL, where things can change drastically in a year.

i don't think they're throwing in the towel as much as they're gambling that allen can carry them to the playoffs with suboptimal weapons and reload when they have cap space in 2025

Diggs definitely seemed disgruntled last year they must've really wanted to get rid of him

Problem is they've lost way more than just Diggs. Gabe Davis is gone, most of their secondary from last year is gone or unsigned, their linebacking core is depleted (with their captain gone), their starting center is gone, and last year they didn't make the playoffs until the last day of the year, and the defense let them down frequently throughout the year, including the playoffs.

I don't think Allen with a suboptimal receiving core and a defense that's going to be lacking depth and sprouting holes

Diggs would have been cheaper to keep and just not play

Rumors, as yet unsubstantiated, that the Jets are trading Zach Wilson to the Broncos.

I hope the Jets are getting good value--maybe a whole bag of new balls.

is it wise to trade a bag of balls for another bag of balls

If they're new

espn dot com's draft tracker has informed me that EDGE is a position

The Slap sequel a PG letdown

https://variety.com/2024/tv/news/jeff-ross-tom-brady-netflix-roast-robert-kraft-joke-1235992609

It is still hilarious that a billionaire getting caught at a rub and tug. Not surprising that he could buy his way out of trouble and get not only thrown out of court but the evidence destroyed.

Greasy business…

Allegedly…

Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker rails against Pride month, working women in commencement speech

Butker later addressed the women in the audience, arguing that their “most important title” should be that of “homemaker.”

“I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolic lies told to you,” Butker said. “Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world. I can tell you that my beautiful wife Isabelle would be the first to say her life truly started when she started living her vocation as a wife and as a mother.”

hateful swill and twice is bad coming from a kicker, they shouldn't be allowed to speak

jesus fuck it was a COMMENCEMENT SPEECH?

said it was for a small private Catholic college, probably some Opus Dei freaks

ahhhhhhhh then it makes more sense

Ted Nugent is somewhere cheering that his gospel has caught back on

“Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that you should set up a tee and a net, get kicking, and a have a pretend pro athletic career that pays real real good and gives you an entirely undeserved platform.”

what a fucking shitcaked asshole

rule proposal: “The player kicking a field goal or extra point must be a player who played in the offensive team line-up in one of the preceding plays in the current set of offensive downs.”

seems like you'd just get a lot of kickers handing off on 3rd down then

I always liked the idea of making whoever scored the touchdown kick the extra point though. probably a bad idea but it seems like fun. I think that's how rugby does it ??

speaking of kickers Mason Crosby happens to have a house in this lake town my Dad lives in, apparently he stops into the local meat market a bunch, the owners got a photo with him which they then hung on the wall. apparently he wasn't happy about that and demanded some stupid amount of money to leave it up. maybe NFL kickers are just weird dudes in general. I mean you gotta admit it's one of the strangest jobs this country ever produced. you only do one thing and it amounts to like 4 minutes of actual "work" in a given year but sometimes an entire playoff run is on your back and your entire legacy hinges on what direction the wind blows.

rule change proposal - kickers should not be allowed to speak in public, until after they have played 5 seasons, when they are allowed to say a sentence a week. the sentence can be chosen from a pre-determined list of innocuous sayings. after 10 seasons, the right to independent speech is granted by a panel of 3, after examination of kicker social media first.

I like frogbs’s solution for PAT, for FG I’d keep mine i’d just add non-qb role in those offensive plays (lol to protect qbs). I mean i spose you’d get these weird TE’s who could kick, what to do…

maybe make the FG kicker play all preceding plays in the current set of downs. then you’d get kicking OLs.

Forget it let’s just cancel football.

rule proposal: “The player kicking a field goal or extra point must be a player who played in the offensive team line-up in one of the preceding plays in the current set of offensive downs.”

Good lord this would absolutely spice the game up real quick. Sign me up!

Also, perhaps the Urban Meyer coaching technique of physically kicking his kicker should be considered by Reid this summer during training camp

The Chargers always do the best ones:

should we REALLY make our schedule release video in the sims?

yes          yes          yesyes
yesyes    yes      yes         yes
yes  yes  yes     yes           yes
yes    yesyes     yes           yes
yes      yesye      yes        yes
yes          yes           yesyes pic.twitter.com/MXzfAPyhe8

— Los Angeles Chargers (@chargers) May 16, 2024

hfs that’s a lot

a recipe for disaster, i hope

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/40158448/nfl-executive-explains-jets-heavy-early-prime-schedule

The New York Jets landed a record number of prime-time games over the first three months of the 2024 season because the appeal of four-time MVP Aaron Rodgers was too great to ignore, the NFL acknowledged Thursday.

"Yes, it's an awful lot of prime-time games early in the season, but, obviously, I feel like Jets kind of owe us one," Mike North, the NFL's vice president of broadcast planning, said on a video conference with reporters.

The Jets have six night games in the first 11 weeks, the most for any team since the 1970 merger, according to the Elias Sports Bureau. The NFL and its TV networks went big on the Jets last season -- five games in prime time -- but it backfired when Rodgers suffered a season-ending Achilles tear in Week 1.

"When we had this conversation a year ago, we were -- all of us -- all-in on the Jets, and for that guy to last four plays was disheartening for many of us," North said. "I feel like we could run it back, and certainly our broadcast partners, when they came to us early in the process talking about what storylines they want to focus on early in the season, obviously Aaron Rodgers' return was a key one for everybody."

'all-in' on a 7-10 team with a 40yo QB coming off an achilles rupture

much respect to the (patrik) elias sports bureau for knowing that The Jets have six night games in the first 11 weeks, the most for any team since the 1970 merger tho

Bengals (& Harvard)’s Pat McInally who was a WR/P and Danny White Qb//p for the Cowboys were really the last kickers that played on the field much.

Tom Tupa was also a backup Qb but primarily was a punter.

McInally did not play WR much later in his career but did play some early on. White was of course Roger Staubachs backup before replacing him.

Hatcat great Qb Joe Theismsnn returned punts early in his career, which I always thought was kind of novel.

Turn on ESPN radio and they are talking about Aaron Rodgers and the Jets Super Bowl chances. Ha.

https://www.tmz.com/2024/06/14/bill-belichick-dating-24-year-old-ex-cheerleader-jordon-hudson/

According to one of Hudson's former cheerleading teammates, Hudson first met the 72-year-old on a flight from the Boston area bound for Florida way back in 2021 ... and bonded over a philosophy project the student-athlete had been working on.

We're told they swapped contact information after landing, and stayed friendly through the ensuing months ... discussing her school work and the X's and O's of her cheerleading routines.

bill!!

David Tepper has had as many coaches in his six years as owner [of the Panthers] as the Steelers have had since 1957

Lol at Jets

https://sports.yahoo.com/sources-jets-and-haason-reddick-dug-into-contract-standoff-that-could-reach-regular-season-001609075.html

Thread for this season:
Time to Dynamically Kickoff the Season - NFL 2024/25