It's all apart of my football fantasy team! (aka America's favorite Dystopian pastime NFL 2025)

It's all apart of my football fantasy team! (sung ala Paul Rodgers)

IN THE YEAR 2025,
if John Riggins is still alive
If the Jets are still alive
If Belichick’s hoodie survived
Quarterbacks might not even drive

In the year 3535
No more huddles—just AI play design
Running backs extinct since ‘09
Wideouts built from biotech slime

In the year 4545
Referees now read our minds
Flags thrown from satellites
Pass interference costs your rights

In the year 5555
Teams don’t play, they simply vibe
The Lombardi’s now a cosmic prize
Hosted on the moon—no ticket buys

In the year 6565
The Browns are close, just one yard shy
Their fans still hope and wonder why
As galaxies tweet their final sigh

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It was west of Canton when the gummies kicked in. Things were getting strange... In this reality Aaron Rodgers was a Steeler, something had happened, but was not sure what.

Joe Burrow comes out and lights up a preseason series and now they are Superbowl dark horses. Oh football media, you guys always got to have a new angle.

been going this way for a long time, but we are reaching crisis levels of hyper-analyzing the pre-season this year, just insanity.

This preseasons radio talking head seem to be obsessed with the Browns QB situation and seemingly about their 4th stringer, some Big 12 draftee of note.

So what is the +/- on Saquon Barkley coming to be victim of the Madden cover hex? Can you do that in a Trifecta on FanDuel?

it would be difficult for saquon to match last year, but unless he gets hurt i see no reason why he wouldn't be really good

no idea how to honestly grade preseason performance -- the entire enterprise is absurd -- but that was some pretty poor stuff from shadeur

didn't hear about this new award until today: https://operations.nfl.com/updates/the-players/new-protector-of-the-year-award-to-honor-offensive-linemen/

congrats to frogbs and packers fans. jerry jones is one stupid motherfucker

wait a second. we just signed who now

love to see an EDGE mentioned despite it not being an acronym

Big time echos of Reggie White going to Green Bay...I'm sure that will be said many times. Different situation, but near that level of talent.

didn't hear about this new award until today: https://operations.nfl.com/updates/the-players/new-protector-of-the-year-award-to-honor-offensive-linemen/

Wow - nice, this is long overdue!

yeah I wish the NFL had one award for every position or position group, like the NHL does it. I like the idea of the best o-line guys getting some of their due at least.

It's also an opportunity for additional incentive bonuses.

Ready for the season, just wish it didn't start off with the Cowboys.

Didn’t expect this game to be a shootout. Way to go, Jalen Carter.

Good game with an hour weather delay.

Carter sorry for spitting on Prescott: 'A mistake'

lol fuck you and fuck your entire team

Dak spit first!

Dak spit on the ground. He absolutely baited Carter, and nailed it - got exactly the reaction and result he wanted.

Chargers looked good, what a great game. Nothing like the NFL.

Chargers maybe should consider playing south of the equator full time

Chargers got a wild schedule, after this it's the Raiders and then Denver! If they can win all three they have the inside track to the division before October begins

The new Adidas ad with Trevor Lawrence and Travis Hunter is funny / weird

and/or SUPER coded

Got stuck with Brady on the Giants Commanders game. Sigh.

Stuck with Raiders / Patriots, but it's not a bad game so far.

saw my first ad on nfl redzone earlier. blood boiling

fuck aaron rodgers but that is objectively funny as hell

I’m on to Packers Lions. What did Rodgers do

threw 4 TDs against the jets in the meadowlands

Damn was Ben Johnson like the only reason that offense worked in Detroit? Holy crap this is really bad start

Stafford looked old in the first half but what a supporting cast.

Hopkins catch was insane

Cleveland does have a defensive front. They sacked Burrows 3 straight plays at one point.

Both teams looked kinda ugly on offense.

It is just the way it is.

apparently Justin Herbert has joined Brees and Brady as one of the only QBs to ever throw for 300+ and 3 TDs in an international game

Caleb Williams is looking pretty legit

By the way is there a collection of those weird MNF animations somewhere?? I love them so much

Bears have nobody to blame but themselves if they lose this imho - some mildly iffy penalties but they’ve drawn a shitload of flags for way too many yards

Caleb def not feelin it the way he was in the 1st quarter. dare I say he is shook right now

alright that's gotta feel good for Viking fans

Tell me that’s not another flag for the bears lol oh shit of course it is

false starts were bad, but the hold and pti calls were awful

a bit hilarious how both were accidental flops where a viking slipped and fell near a bear

really wish the NFL would just let coaches challenge penalties with their red flags like they can in the NBA.

they have that in the CFL and it's a bit of a nightmare, coaches can go fishing for holding or PI calls

stoked for tonight’s game regardless of outcome

GB is looking pretty darn good.

Definitely some weird Rollerball vibe to this whole 'zon broadcast. Digged hearing Al Michaels drop some Big Red Machine 72 and leaving for more money to work for the Giants.

that was such a chaotic 4th down play

Wow

Whelp

tight game

How many times has twitchy been used tonight?

Need this stop or it's over

Short

Idk about that spot

Wow

Dumb penalty. Correct call

Fuck Ants Marching

McVay cost them Rams this game

The 7 before halftime

pretty sweet game i tip my cap to the teams

Sam Motherfuckin Darnold

Didn't care too much who won but the better team did tonight. MacDonald is a psychopath

Patriots have their hands full.

admittedly the pro bowl has long been a joke, but the league naming shedeur to it suggests it completely agrees

it’s a gofundme for deion sko buffs

Buffalo hired

Their offensive coordinator as head coach

How long until Allen asks out..

I'll take him

football hall of fame voters might be even pettier than those for baseball

ha. or robert kraft is even pettier than all of 'em and whispered in a few voters' ears.

Bill must feel deflated

I hate the man but come on. How can you have better credentials

delayed a year. for being fuckin cheater boo fuckin hoo.

https://i.postimg.cc/1tdVBnYv/clevebrownies.jpg

damn

belichick story is funny i guess you should be nice and not a jerk if you want people to like you, rough number of years for ol bill

it would have been pretty funny for Kraft to make the HOF and Belichick to remain on the outside looking in, but it wasn't meant to be.

In a weird mob boss way, it is kind of a sign of respect as they envy your success while being at best curmudgeon.

I bet Papa Bear Halas was probably f'k Curly Lambeau too.

Voting an owner in pretty much patting yourself on the back at this point.

Best thing you can really say is that they ran the business and not their personal fantasy football team.

rich people will always be acclaimed by the things they've bought

the funny part is that kraft actually desperately wants to be inducted, as if he did anything more important than signing checks

perhaps fifa can induct him into something

all the talk about how this delegitimizes the Hall is hilarious. when it comes to the Hall of Fame I don't think people care that much about the coaches and they for damn sure don't care about the owners. it's not like they're gonna leave Brady off. would be hilarious tho

There’s a hall of fame for my field and I’m friendly with a couple of the people in it - they only vote in like one or two folks a year, but it’s a small village of us - if I ever get it, I’ll be very proud, if I don’t, who cares? Not me. I have other goals.

which team are you all rooting for in the Super Bowl? I'm still undecided

patriots

I’m kind of wanting them to win too. I don't think they will though. I mean, the Seahawks winning decisively would be proof the the NFC was dominant this year and I like that idea, but the thought that they will hoist the Lombardi cup in the 49ers stadium doesn’t sit well with me

path to patriots victory i think looks like their d line continuing to dominate as it has throughout the playoffs and drake maye playing good which he has not throughout the playoffs

but really it will prob just come down to which team is more resistant to electromagnetic waves

lol

Or which team bet on their opponents on DraftKings

Go Hawks.

Stafford got the MVP

good for him, but why was this announced at like 11pm ET on a thursday

Blame the Winter Olympics

Niners Rams next year in Melbourne. Bee OK see you there!

Thoughts on this - they're going to want to have this after daylight savings time has transitioned for both countries so a 12:30 or 1pm start time in Melbourne on Monday or Tuesday will align with Sunday night or Monday night football back home. Probably won't be late December when they could have the game on a Sunday (Saturday here) because you really need a bye week after this game for both teams to recover from the intense jet lag of a 14 hour return flight eastward. I'm guessing this game will be in the first half of November.

Boris Vallejo artwork for Playboy’s Pro Football Preview, August 1984.

https://i.postimg.cc/bvNHsPND/borisnfl.jpg

Plz guys watch my halftime show

https://i.ibb.co/4gZqc0Hr/EBk8-RB1-XUAA1bz-R.jpg