It's all apart of my football fantasy team! (aka America's favorite Dystopian pastime NFL 2025)

It's all apart of my football fantasy team! (sung ala Paul Rodgers)

IN THE YEAR 2025,
if John Riggins is still alive
If the Jets are still alive
If Belichick’s hoodie survived
Quarterbacks might not even drive

In the year 3535
No more huddles—just AI play design
Running backs extinct since ‘09
Wideouts built from biotech slime

In the year 4545
Referees now read our minds
Flags thrown from satellites
Pass interference costs your rights

In the year 5555
Teams don’t play, they simply vibe
The Lombardi’s now a cosmic prize
Hosted on the moon—no ticket buys

In the year 6565
The Browns are close, just one yard shy
Their fans still hope and wonder why
As galaxies tweet their final sigh

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It was west of Canton when the gummies kicked in. Things were getting strange... In this reality Aaron Rodgers was a Steeler, something had happened, but was not sure what.

Joe Burrow comes out and lights up a preseason series and now they are Superbowl dark horses. Oh football media, you guys always got to have a new angle.

been going this way for a long time, but we are reaching crisis levels of hyper-analyzing the pre-season this year, just insanity.