100 Greatest Post-Game Rants

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1. Jim Mora
We couldn't do diddley-poo offensively. We couldn't make a first down. We didn't run the ball. We didn't try to run the ball. We couldn't complete a pass. We sucked. We sucked. It was a horsesass performance in the second half. Horsesass. I'm totally embarrassed, and I'm totally ashamed. We got our ass kicked in the second half. It sucked. It stunk. Cuz they just blocked better, were more tougher, more physical, coached better, did everything better. We sucked.

2. Jim Mora
http://koreanbuddy.com/Img/mora.jpg
We've thrown [five] interceptions returned for touchdowns. That might be a league record. And we've still got six games left, so there's no telling how many we'll have. I mean, it's absolutely pitiful to play like that... Horrible. Just horrible. Horrible.

Playoffs? Don't talk about playoffs. Are you kidding me? Playoffs? I'm just hoping we can win a game, another game.

http://www.coltsgeeks.com/media/mora_playoffs_tirade.mp3

3. Herm Edwards
This is what the greatest thing about sports is: You play to win the game. Hello? You play. To WIN. The GAME. You don't play to just play it...

I don't care if you don't have any wins, you go play to win. When you start telling me it doesn't matter, then retire, get out, because it matters... One thing I know, I don't quit. That will not happen.

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Friday, 4 November 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

diddly-poo

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 4 November 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)

C/D: Old-school coach fauxfanity
http://capefeare.com/nedangry_small.gif
Jiminy Crickets!
Godfrey Daniels!
God Bless America!
Son of a biscuit!

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Friday, 4 November 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

When I saw the thread title, I immediately thought of Mora. Classic rants.

― van igloo (van smack), Saturday, 5 November 2005 07:01 (twenty years ago)

Mora was a pretty good coach, both the Saints and Colts were laughing stocks when he took over. Mora's last year in Indy so much went wrong that wasn't his fault, it was ugly. That was the year that Edge hurt his knee and then it seemed like the entire defense got hurt overnight.

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Saturday, 5 November 2005 14:50 (twenty years ago)

Great thread idea!

man, that Herm Edwards rant was so awesome. it makes me want to cry. football is the greatest.

Mike Ditka certainly had more than a few good ones. Can't remember the context but there is the infamous one where he asked Chicago sportswriter Terry Boers: "who you crappin?"

and of course the "I THINK WE BECAME A TEAM TODAY! I THINK WE BECAME A TEAM!!" speech. hahahaha oh man. of course the saints promptly went on to lose like all of their games...

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Saturday, 5 November 2005 23:38 (twenty years ago)

I think it is a sad think that they did not do these press conference things back when Bum Phillips was a head coach. I have to think he would have been pretty entertaining.

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Saturday, 5 November 2005 23:47 (twenty years ago)

THIS IS CLASSIC:

The Vikes ex-coach Jerry Burns...defending then-offensive coordinator Bob Schelker...Burnsie...so awesome...do drunk, so often....love him...

http://rope.93x.com/hams/audio/burnstirade.mp3

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Sunday, 13 November 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

Less a rant and more a gritted teeth snarl:
"A very poor performance by our team to be in the situation that we are in. (We) fumbled the opening kickoff, had a punt return against for a touchdown, a kickoff return against, an interception when were knocking on the goal line, five turnovers. Just beyond belief that we would play that poorly. (We) didn’t tackle well on special teams at all. (We) did a good job defensively all day long with the exception of the last drive, which you can argue all day whether you deserve to win or not. But, that was not anywhere near close to the kind of football that we teach or talk about. Turning the ball over like it was a non issue."

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Monday, 14 November 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

I don't know any quotes but Jim Haslett has blown a few circuits on refs in press conferences and gotten fined quite a bit.

― earlnash, Monday, 14 November 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

eleven months pass...

They ARE who we THOUGHT they were, and we let 'em off the hook!

― hearditonthexico (rogermexico), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

And for those who missed it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBOCE3eue3Y

― hearditonthexico (rogermexico), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 18:21 (nineteen years ago)

And while we're at it, the one and only Herm Edwards:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMk5sMHj58I

"This whole conversation bothers me."

― hearditonthexico (rogermexico), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 18:28 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwq7BYOnDrM

""I'll start off by saying this. Don't blame that game on the defense..."

― hearditonthexico (rogermexico), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

Jim Mora was wrong because the Bears proved that you can turn over the ball a lot and still win!

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

old news now, but .... this needs to be preserved here for posterity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VytIZZzee0

― Stormy Davis, Friday, 7 December 2007 18:38 (seventeen years ago)

john mckay had some classics. why does your tailback carry the ball so much? "why not? it's not heavy and he doesn't belong to any union."

― chicago kevin, Friday, 7 December 2007 19:08 (seventeen years ago)

when asked about his team's execution, McKay said he thought it was a good idea.

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Saturday, 8 December 2007 03:32 (seventeen years ago)

old news now, but .... this needs to be preserved here for posterity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VytIZZzee0

"This was brought to me by a mother. Of children."

― rogermexico., Saturday, 8 December 2007 08:12 (seventeen years ago)

GO PLAY INTRAMURALS, BROTHA~

― cankles, Sunday, 9 December 2007 01:31 (seventeen years ago)

Dennis Green is trying to copyright "They are who we thought they were."

― forksclovetofu, Sunday, 9 December 2007 23:30 (seventeen years ago)

He should, that post game speech was genius.

― Bill Magill, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 15:19 (seventeen years ago)

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