YOU ARE COMMISSIONER: WHAT DO YOU DO?

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To make the NFL fun again?

― If you fuck with Jimmy Mod, you call down the thunder (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:37 (nineteen years ago)

1) End zone celebrations encouraged (keep below 30 sec. pls)

― If you fuck with Jimmy Mod, you call down the thunder (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:38 (nineteen years ago)

2) Relax roughing the passer rules

― If you fuck with Jimmy Mod, you call down the thunder (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:39 (nineteen years ago)

3) Coaches required to wear suits

― If you fuck with Jimmy Mod, you call down the thunder (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:42 (nineteen years ago)

4. I LOVE NFL DOUCHEBAGS ROSTER: PART I, ED HOCHULI

― LISTEN U TURBO CROUTON (TOMBOT), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:44 (nineteen years ago)

5. Disallow the Arizona Cardinals from ever taking the field again.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:49 (nineteen years ago)

6. Mandatory Plummer facial hair/flowing locks on all QBs.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:50 (nineteen years ago)

7. Joe Thiesmann thrown off a bridge.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:50 (nineteen years ago)

8. All cheerleaders now required to dress like Princess Leia in Hutt's palace.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:51 (nineteen years ago)

9. Cheerleaders all dismissed and replaced by the cast of My Name Is Earl

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:52 (nineteen years ago)

10. Pink banned.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 03:52 (nineteen years ago)

11. penalties for NOT celebrating touchdowns

― get yr coat luv uve jes bin pulld (Adrian Langston), Monday, 13 November 2006 04:03 (nineteen years ago)

12. Oakland Raiders all digitally replaced with Pokemons.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 04:04 (nineteen years ago)

I should have added that all answers be kept serious, but clearly all yours are...[CONTROVERSIAL MODERATOR EDIT: If you don't think the Princess Leia suggestion was serious, then we are no longer BFF. I thought you knew me. ;_; -AM]

― If you fuck with Jimmy Mod, you call down the thunder (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Monday, 13 November 2006 04:06 (nineteen years ago)

13. Lose Hank Williams Jr. somewhere in the middle of a train wreck.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 13 November 2006 05:01 (nineteen years ago)

14. Let John Madden announce the Sunday night game all by himself (w/ some assistance from either a Teddy Ruxpin or a Speak-n-Spell).

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 13 November 2006 05:02 (nineteen years ago)

15. DUMP THE BULLSHIT "OH IT'S 4:15 PM GOTTA CUT OUR FEED TO AN AWESOME SAN DIEGO / CINCY GAME BECAUSE FANS MIGHT WANT TO WATCH THAT INSTEAD OF THE FUCKING COWBOYS / CARDINALS ASS SUCK TOURNEY OF RADICAL EYE FISTING" RULE

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 13 November 2006 05:04 (nineteen years ago)

#s 1 and 11 on the money!

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Monday, 13 November 2006 05:09 (nineteen years ago)

16. more tittays

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 November 2006 05:37 (nineteen years ago)

for hpencil:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/nfl/2001/playoffs/news/2001/01/10/siragusa_ravens_ap/t1_siragusa_all-01.jpg

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 13 November 2006 05:53 (nineteen years ago)

17. commercial break either before the kickoff or after it, never both
18. sniper takes out the ref if the challenge clock goes over 2:00
19. ed hochuli no longer allowed to give that little clap before making his first down gesture

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 13 November 2006 06:03 (nineteen years ago)

dave, that's a boob, not a set of tittays.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 November 2006 06:21 (nineteen years ago)

I like the current no fun league. Anything to make Scoop Jackson unhappy.

Ban all commentators would be okay though.

― Jeff. (Jeff), Monday, 13 November 2006 13:08 (nineteen years ago)

20. Commentators replaced by Alton Brown and the cast of Mythbusters.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 15:25 (nineteen years ago)

let joe namath do play by play and team him with captain morgan as his color man. maybe he could interview qb's wives/gfs/sig others at half.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 13 November 2006 15:59 (nineteen years ago)

21. out all homo qbs for "queer eye" factor

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 November 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

22. Team uniforms like the Bills' current incarnation: designer burnt at the stake during Super Bowl halftime show

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

god yes. actually:

22. All franchises forcibly returned to their late 80s/early 90s uniforms.

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Monday, 13 November 2006 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

Coaches required to wear suits

oh god yes. Or at least ban the pleated khakis with sneakers look.

I think one of the coaches this year wanted to wear a suit and was NOT ALLOWED by the NFL. It's like the whole world is upside down.

― lk (lawrence kansas), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

GOTTA PUSH THE PULLOVERS

OVER FAT MAN TITS

HI DERE BILL(S)

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

23. Encourage more coaches to go Dennis Green-style crazy.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:07 (nineteen years ago)

24. The team with the worst record at the halfway point of the season has to run the wishbone offense for the remaining 8 games.

― lk (lawrence kansas), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:13 (nineteen years ago)

25. Replace the field at Foxboro with cat litter.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:16 (nineteen years ago)

i think they did that around week 2 ally.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

25. Bring back that bizarre Super Bowl Champs vs College All Star train wreck game that was played at Soldier Field.

― lk (lawrence kansas), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

26. Force one of the networks to hire Ryan Leaf as a sideline reporter.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:42 (nineteen years ago)

27. Kitty Halftime Show: mandatory at all games.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

28. Pam Oliver covered in kittens

― lk (lawrence kansas), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:50 (nineteen years ago)

29. College football rules for time keeping. (ie. clock stops after 1st down, no two minute warning, Pam Oliver is covered in kittens etc)

― lk (lawrence kansas), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

30. college football rules for OT

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 13 November 2006 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

I think one of the coaches this year wanted to wear a suit and was NOT ALLOWED by the NFL. It's like the whole world is upside down.

That was last year and Mike Nolan of MY SF 49ers! Coolest thing about him.

The nutcracker in this case was that Rbk has an exclusive contract to supply coaches with sideline "attire," so unless RBK start making Landry-esque suits (which they actually thought about!!! Don't know what's going on with that currently), coaches going to look like personal trainers.

― c('°c) (Leee), Monday, 13 November 2006 18:08 (nineteen years ago)

31. SB trophy replaced with this:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/00/Lowsman.jpg

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 18:10 (nineteen years ago)

Is that a scene from Jason and the Argonauts?

32. Belichick's WoW clan forced to officiate the Pro Bowl.

― lk (lawrence kansas), Monday, 13 November 2006 18:13 (nineteen years ago)

33. If Peyton loses in playoffs again, replace him digitally in all ads with this giant-headed kitten:
http://va.siameserescue.org/photos/VA4560_2.jpg

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 18:35 (nineteen years ago)

33. Players mandated to replace their regular helmets with snack helmets.

http://www.retro-sports.com/images/productlineitem/1217002265.jpg

― lk (lawrence kansas), Monday, 13 November 2006 18:50 (nineteen years ago)

― lk (lawrence kansas), Monday, 13 November 2006 18:51 (nineteen years ago)

35. ban the lex. from everything, everywhere, ever.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 November 2006 19:37 (nineteen years ago)

WRONG THREAD POTSIE

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 13 November 2006 19:44 (nineteen years ago)

36. Browns/Steelers game a national holiday.

― lk (lawrence kansas), Monday, 13 November 2006 19:48 (nineteen years ago)

37. Kickers must celebrate a la Bill Gramatica after every kick, successful or otherwise.

― c('°c) (Leee), Monday, 13 November 2006 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

no way dave, i would hope the nfl commish would have that power as well.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 November 2006 20:00 (nineteen years ago)

lawrence kansas i am making you a mod, for being awesome.

― get yr coat luv uve jes bin pulld (Adrian Langston), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 00:19 (nineteen years ago)

38. You kill it, you have to eat it.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 06:18 (nineteen years ago)

guys that peyton manning cat is so cute and freaky looking, i love him.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 22:36 (nineteen years ago)

http://bestmessageboardever.com/uploads/post-1528-1163544456.jpeg

― get yr coat luv uve jes bin pulld (Adrian Langston), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 22:49 (nineteen years ago)

39. Ditch the bad intros featuring Pink vs. GMC Trucks and replace with the Pikadiator clip

― LISTEN U TURBO CROUTON (TOMBOT), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 22:58 (nineteen years ago)

40. Team with worst offensive record (or Oakland) at halfway point of season replaced with XFL Allstars team. Comedy ensues.

― Mad Den (Dough Boy), Wednesday, 15 November 2006 02:56 (nineteen years ago)

LOL@coaches in suits

― If you fuck with Jimmy Mod, you call down the thunder (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Friday, 17 November 2006 01:55 (nineteen years ago)

allow punters to weild ax handles on coverage one play per game.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 17 November 2006 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

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