At its best, sport is an elegant way for humankind to clash in honourable physical competition.
At its worst, sport is American football.
So why on Earth are there people who want to make this an Olympic sport? Peyton Manning -- one of the overpaid fools that play this languid pasttime -- argues the sport is globally popular and would make an interesting addition to the 2012 Olympiad. Apparently many (American) people agree, and have signed a petition calling for the sport's inclusion.
(For those who haven't had the questionable pleasure of watching an entire American football match, imagine rugby without any of the fun or excitement, stretched over four-and-a-half hours, with stoppages for advert breaks and cheerleading routines every 15 seconds.
Imagine teams of 80-plus players each -- some of whom arrive on the field, take one kick, and don't return for the rest of the game -- and 80,000 fans so bored by the experience that not only do they forget to sing, cheer or enjoy themselves, most actually leave before the second half to get drunk in the car park.)
This must be stopped. Firstly, America, "football" is already an Olympic sport. It's just the version of football where you actually use your foot to kick the ball. You remember -- it's the version of football that you have ritually "sucked" at for 60 years.
Moreover, let's be honest, if any sport should be added to the Olympics it's rugby. Or cricket. Or more cycling events so GB can win a few more golds. It should not be a terrible, boring, expensive game that is only played in one country.
That's why Asylum UK is calling on you, our dear readers, to head over to our US sister site and register your dismay. Vote down this idea on their poll, and retain the integrity of the Olympics for our children and our children's children.
America's moment came in 1776. Now ours has arrived. Rebel! Rebel! Live free (of American football) or die, fellow patriots!
― am0n, Sunday, 24 August 2008 07:55 (seventeen years ago)
Saturday 23 August By Chris R Neutral vote downvote upReport
The problem lies in the fact that 98% of the American (USA) public have never been outside their own State, let alone the USA mainland.
As far as they are concerned, no other Country exists except USA: except of course when they are directly affected. Two example spring to mind: 1. The Bombing of Pearl Harbour. The USA couldn't have given a Shiete about the political instability of the world until then.
2. The IRA were significantly funded by residents of the USA who thought that they were doing "England good": odd that the attitude changed when (the atrocitiy) of 9/11 occured. Of equal co-incidence- that suddenly the IRA ran out of money and arms supplied by the USA, when the latter suddenly realised what Terrorism means.
3. It took two lunatic Islamic extremists to fly in to the Twin Towers before USA took any interest in terrorism. Suddenly they are so "concerned and up-standing " about international terrorism. Up until now terrorism was something that happened to some one else: if it doesn' affect America, it doesn't exist. Now Bush is stating that it is " their (USA) greatest concerns and "vow" to bring it to an end.
Finally it may be of interest to note that the USA and its average citizen thought that when the UK joined the EEC (now the EU -read :new Communist State)), the English Channel had been filled in and we had physically become part of the mainland of Eurpoe, via France.
There is little or no skill in USA football; unlike Rugby to which it is likened: they are to very different sports. USA Football is like watching paint dry, and that is being unfair to Trade Gloss. If USA Football is included in the next Olympics, 2012 could become 2013 before it is closed due to the long, drawn out, boring, beuraucratic "game" of American Football and its "knock-outs" has been completed.
zzzzzzz. (Rather like USA)
― am0n, Sunday, 24 August 2008 07:58 (seventeen years ago)
Friday 22 August By James
American "football" lmfao.... Most boring "sport" since sumo wrestling?
Does anybody give a sh%t about american football outside america and does anybody give a sh%t about sumo wrestling outside Japan? No and thats why neither will ever be a olympic sport. Too boring, too lame.
― am0n, Sunday, 24 August 2008 07:59 (seventeen years ago)
should have been a poll -__-
― am0n, Sunday, 24 August 2008 08:31 (seventeen years ago)
lol gridiron
― S-, Sunday, 24 August 2008 08:43 (seventeen years ago)
http://www.whitesox1.de/images/CFL-Logo-OnGrass.jpg
― am0n, Sunday, 24 August 2008 09:35 (seventeen years ago)
i know i definitely thought this
― max, Sunday, 24 August 2008 13:06 (seventeen years ago)
Football: The Languid Pasttime
― forksclovetofu, Sunday, 24 August 2008 17:11 (seventeen years ago)
reading these comments I now understand better why Oasis is popular
― Euler, Sunday, 24 August 2008 17:15 (seventeen years ago)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZk5nX5o1cw
― am0n, Sunday, 24 August 2008 17:21 (seventeen years ago)
finkxfinkx on 08/22/2008 Lol. American Football - rugby with softy pads : )
― am0n, Sunday, 24 August 2008 17:23 (seventeen years ago)
It makes you feel bad for the British. First the dental problems, then the warm beer and now these retards.
― Bill Magill, Sunday, 24 August 2008 20:31 (seventeen years ago)
http://bp2.blogger.com/_khzbhqaAgM4/Rh6R3VCxnmI/AAAAAAAAAzE/59PWxNr6D2g/s1600-h/hard+man.jpg
― J0rdan S., Sunday, 24 August 2008 20:33 (seventeen years ago)
i was watching a hard day's night earlier and was like, ok why these girls going nuts like this, it's just four really average looking dudes by american standards singing just ok songs but then i read things like this and it's like, "hey none of these four young men are deformed or inbred retarded, (insert crazy screaming orgasms here)", they just dont' know any better. it's sad if you think about it too long.
though football in the olympics IS a terrible idea.
― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Sunday, 24 August 2008 20:56 (seventeen years ago)
Football in the Olympics is easily one of the worst ideas I've ever heard.
― Bill Magill, Sunday, 24 August 2008 21:00 (seventeen years ago)
lol Glasnost Bowl
― am0n, Tuesday, 26 August 2008 21:13 (seventeen years ago)
the schef's post from sunday has suddenly made it clear that i should move to the uk post haste.
― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 26 August 2008 21:14 (seventeen years ago)