So, Wayne Chrebet...

HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. -- The thought of going back into the locker room, seeing his teammates, his uniform, his old life was too much to bear for Wayne Chrebet.

The veteran Jets receiver stayed away for over a month so he could come to terms with the inevitable -- that he would never be a part of that locker room again. Once Chrebet made his way to the Jets facility Thursday for the first time since sustaining another concussion Nov. 6, he realized how long he had been away.

Dust caked the boxes in his locker, and mail overflowed from adoring fans sharing their well wishes. Chrebet confirmed his 11-year career was over, ending a love story between the little receiver that could and the fans that embraced the hometown hero.

"Some days you wake up and you don't feel like anything's changed," Chrebet said, his lips quivering and eyes watering. "And then your team is playing on TV and it hits you in the gut and makes it tough. Just accepting it and not fighting it -- it's not a fight I can win right now. I'm not going to get back on the field. I think everybody's aware of that."

Chrebet signed with the Jets as an undrafted free agent out of Hofstra, the same place the Jets practice. Though he was undersized at 5-foot-10, he quickly became a clutch possession receiver, working his way up the team record charts.

He would go across the middle, making big third-down conversions, just about everything anyone ever asked of him. His hard work and everyman persona endeared him to Jets fans, who bought his No. 80 jerseys in bulk.

"When you come in the stadium now, that's all you see is the No. 80 jersey there," said receiver Laveranues Coles, one of his closest friends on the team. "It's difficult knowing he's not ever going to come out of the tunnel with me again.

The decision to walk away was difficult and painful. Chrebet had a series of head injuries that plagued him the last three seasons, and sustained at least six concussions in his NFL career. He had a post-traumatic migraine early in the 2003 season and missed the final eight games that season with postconcussion syndrome.

He considered retiring, but instead came back last season. Chrebet played in all 16 games, but sustained a mild concussion in the regular-season finale against St. Louis. Though he knew the risks, he came back for 2005, knowing one more hit would mean the end.

It happened against the Chargers on -- what else -- a clutch third-down play that got the Jets a first down. He stayed down on the field for several minutes, with a scary, glazed look in his eyes. Chrebet remembers waking up the next morning and seeing how calm his wife, Amy, and his sister were. He knew something was wrong.

"I asked them, 'Have you talked to the doctors?''' he said. "They're like, 'Yeah.' Do you know something I don't know? And they're like, 'Yeah.' And I said, 'So I'm done?' And my wife was like, 'Yeah.'"

Chrebet was racked with guilt.

"You ever just look at somebody and you see the look on their face and it just makes you feel bad?" Chrebet said. "There's something about what she's been through with me, she's the one who has to take me to these doctor visits and try to encourage me to get out of bed. She's seen the darkest moments that have come from the concussions.

"I never wanted people to worry about me."

Chrebet said he is feeling fine. He spends his days with his two sons, 5-year-old Lukas and 3-year-old Cade, and said, "It's unbelievable the amount of love they've been giving me. It's almost like they know I need it."

Still, Chrebet finds himself bored at home. A few weeks ago, he needed to keep busy so he went into the yard and picked up sticks. All those stats -- he finishes second on the all-time team list with 580 receptions -- mean nothing with time on your hands.

It also was little consolation when his teammates selected him the recipient of the Ed Block Courage Award. Chrebet said he will wait until the season ends before filing his retirement papers with the NFL.

Of course, old friend Vinny Testaverde has a plan that would send them both out in style. Testaverde also will end his career when the season ends.

"I told him that if I get in the game, he's going to come out of the tunnel, I'm going to overthrow everybody and hit him in the end zone," Testaverde said. "He said he was afraid he was going to drop it, though."

Knowing Chrebet, he would hang on tight and never want to let go of the ball.

"There was nothing like game day for me," Chrebet said. "I'm hoping to find something to replace that feeling. I don't think there ever will be. I would pay so much just for my friends and family to run out of the tunnel one day, to know what it feels like to drive to a game with the music on, you see everybody with the jersey on, hearing the Jets chant, being the center of that, it's been the greatest 11 years of my life. It's a shame that it's over."

Wayne Chrebet career statistics*
Year Games played Receptions Yards Average TD
1995 16 66 726 11.0 4
1996 16 84 909 10.8 3
1997 16 58 799 13.8 3
1998 16 75 1,083 14.4 8
1999 11 48 631 13.1 3
2000 16 69 937 13.6 8
2001 15 56 750 13.4 1
2002 15 51 691 13.5 9
2003 7 27 289 10.7 1
2004 16 31 397 12.8 1
2005 8 15 153 10.2 0
Totals 152 580 7365 12.7 41
* Regular season only