WEEK 7 » because god loves jim zorn and will never let him feel let down « THREAD

SD @ BUF -- I'm liking the probable return of Trent Edwards and hating the Chargers rush D: BILLS
NO @ CAR -- Panthers couldn't run on Tampa, but will be able to on New Orleans. Still, SAINTS
MIN @ CHI -- This shit's a toss-up. BEARS at home.
PIT @ CIN -- No Carson, no credibility. STEELERS
TEN @ KC -- Maybe just cause I want it to happen, but TITANS stay undefeated.
BAL @ MIA -- That smart defense wasn't so smart last week. DOLPHINS
SF @ NYG -- Eli's going to pout all week, and then come out and kick ass. GIANTS
DAL @ STL -- Last week was an abberation. Brad Johnson can probably beat St. Louis all by himself. COWBOYS
DET @ HOU -- Houston finally got a W. This will be their second. TEXANS
IND @ GB -- Guessing here. PACKERS
NYJ @ OAK -- Brett will have fun this week. JETS
CLE @ WAS -- Cleveland will continue to impress. BROWNS
SEA @ TB -- Seattle? Puh-lease. BUCS
DEN @ NE -- The best part of this game will be tight shots on Shanahan and Belichick. BRONCOS

SD @ BUF -- Last week I picked New England knowing that the Chargers would win if I picked against them, so Buffalo.
NO @ CAR -- Saints
MIN @ CHI -- Chicago
PIT @ CIN -- Cincy
TEN @ KC -- Tennnnn
BAL @ MIA -- Miamee
SF @ NYG -- Gints
DAL @ STL -- Cows
DET @ HOU -- Texasans
IND @ GB -- Indy
NYJ @ OAK -- Oakland
CLE @ WAS -- Warshington
SEA @ TB -- Pirates
DEN @ NE -- New England at home

SD @ BUF -- SD. Sorry bros.
NO @ CAR -- STS
MIN @ CHI -- CHI
PIT @ CIN -- PITTSBURGH
TEN @ KC -- Ten
BAL @ MIA -- MIA
SF @ NYG -- GIGANTESS
DAL @ STL -- RAMS CONTROVERSY
DET @ HOU -- TAXENS
IND @ GB -- INDY
NYJ @ OAK -- OAK Unconvincingly
CLE @ WAS -- WAS
SEA @ TB -- This is an awful game
DEN @ NE -- Denvor

SD @ BUF -- Bills
NO @ CAR -- Saints. Never convinced by the Panthers.
MIN @ CHI -- Vikes
PIT @ CIN -- Steelers
TEN @ KC -- Titans
BAL @ MIA -- Fins
SF @ NYG -- Jints
DAL @ STL -- 'Boys
DET @ HOU -- Texicans
IND @ GB -- Pack
NYJ @ OAK -- Raiders
CLE @ WAS -- Browns. That was a win to build off of.
SEA @ TB -- Bucs
DEN @ NE -- Broncos, unless Pats hire a new secondary by today.

ASHBURN, Va. (AP) - Jim Zorn produced another of those priceless visual moments that have become standard at his weekly news conferences. The Washington Redskins coach lifted his shoulders and began strutting in place - maybe a hint of a Michael Jackson moonwalk? - to emphasize his point. "I don't think we saw ourselves as an elite team, strutting ourselves, walking in and saying 'We are so awesome,'" Zorn said.

SD @ BUF -- Chargers
NO @ CAR -- Panthers
MIN @ CHI -- Bears Bears Bears
PIT @ CIN -- Steelers
TEN @ KC -- Titans
BAL @ MIA -- Baltimore
SF @ NYG -- Giants
DAL @ STL -- Cowboys
DET @ HOU -- Houston
IND @ GB -- Indy
NYJ @ OAK -- OAKLAND
CLE @ WAS -- Skins
SEA @ TB -- Bucs
DEN @ NE -- New England (really)

lol strutting ourselves

if denver beats the patriots will the sky officially have fallen?

What the hell was the Miami loss? A sunshower?

WHY I AM NOT DREADING SUNDAY: i think if Denver had played NE before the Bolts showed how easy it is to toss the ball over the their secondary then they would have won big just like SD did, but no way Bill lets that happen twice in a row. also, NE will probably be able to control the ball vs Broncos D much like they did vs the niners.

guys, how lovable is Jim Zorn? he is the complete inverse of jhoh harbls.

broncos really own the hell out of the pats in recent years, would be a scary game even if brady was playing imo

yeah i finally saw a jim zorn press conference and i want to give him a hug

really.

maybe it's just zorn's "thing," but he seems so earnest and to really love what he does. of course, he's only worked for dan snyder a short amount of time...

admittedly, it's a far cry from gibbs's bulldurhamisms to hip hip hooray.

Wow, Kitna going on IR if they can't trade him.
Lions are looking to spiral.

this was entertaining to read about Mr. ZORN

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2008/10/jim_zorns_worthless_tricks.html

also ZORN is kind of like KHAN so if you are ever unhappy with him (like, this weekend) you get to go ZOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRNNNN!!!

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/zorntwirl.jpg

can this pose be made into some kind of trophy

with the Kitna thing and the rumor about Jerry Jones' interest in Roy Williams, there is a very exciting possibility that the Lions could been even worse than they already are very soon.

also in this week's hearty LOLs something no one could have forseen

wow

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3642621

so, besides no romo, no felix jones and no (the safety) roy williams (still, right?); cowboys are now w/o starting corners and their defensive coordinator doesn't seem to have things figured out.

...oh, yeah and their punter's hurt and sam hurd's hurt.

how bad does this get? do they have to whup the rams to show they're not losing it or just merely win.

Marvin Lewis, RIP

SD @ BUF -- san diego (sorry horseshoe)
NO @ CAR -- panthers
MIN @ CHI -- oh god. i mean it's in chicago so i guess chicago but this game, bleeeeccch
PIT @ CIN -- the bengals are going to go 0-16
TEN @ KC -- titans.
BAL @ MIA -- baltimore
SF @ NYG -- haha giants, sorry sf that you are going to get the brunt of them being all bitchy and annoyed about their failgame
DAL @ STL -- hahahahahaa you know i have to go with dallas but last week was most certainly not an abhorration or whatever. and you guys know it. the rams are terrible though.
DET @ HOU -- DETROIT RAN OUT OF THEIR OWN END ZONE. houston
IND @ GB -- indy, why not
NYJ @ OAK -- ugh!!! christ on a bike fuck this game
CLE @ WAS -- washington.
SEA @ TB -- bucs
DEN @ NE -- denver, probably. i dont' care.

Yeah, the abberation I referred to was a St. Louis win. Not the Dallas loss (that's becoming the norm).

i sort of want to write WHO FUCKING KNOWS for all of these but that would be tiresome, so i will just pick who i want to win for each:

SD @ BUF -- Buffalo buffalo buffalo
NO @ CAR -- Saints
MIN @ CHI -- Vikings
PIT @ CIN -- Steelers
TEN @ KC -- Chiefs, because of Herm
BAL @ MIA -- it is very hard for me to want either of these teams to win. it is a condundrum! Ravens, bc of Dan Marino
SF @ NYG -- Giants
DAL @ STL -- Rams
DET @ HOU -- haha Detroit
IND @ GB -- Colts
NYJ @ OAK -- Raiders
CLE @ WAS -- Browns, but i like both of these teams now. CHANGE YOUR NAME, DC TEAM!
SEA @ TB -- Bucs
DEN @ NE -- i hate both of these teams, but pats are afc east, so Broncos

that was sort of liberating. also i think it's what i do every week.

Did I miss the post where you explained why you hate Dan Marino? Because I thought that dude was unhateable.

Buffalo Bills fans that are older than, i dunno, 18? hate the Dolphins. it used to be a huge rivalry. i hate Dan Marino because he was such a fucking good quarterback and he played for the Dolphins. also, Jim Kelly never got any respect. i don't know, there is no reason to this kind of hatred.

i did feel bad for Marino when Boomer Esiason mocked him on CBS that one time.

i am also embarrassed about some incidents where Miami fans who traveled to Buffalo for Bills-Dolphins games got fucked up by degenerate Buffalonians when i was a little girl. but i still hate the dolphins.

I do know that Jim Kelly got respect from Eddie Van Halen. They were golf buddies.

that is information that i did not know, but that is completely unsurprising 2 me

also dan marino is a dude that schlepped for isotoner gloves and nutrasystem and was in a terribly dumb motion picture AND is the color of an oompa loompa, he is completely hateable. i mean half of y'all hate peyton manning for less than that.

tho yeah the boomer mocking him -- where the hell did he get off making fun of marino anyway? did he forget that he is boomer esiason?

HEY GUYS WANT SOME POT ROAST!!!

^^^ my dan marino impression

the dan marino nutrasystem ad makes me uncomfortable. actually, to the extent that i can separate him from the Dolphins, he makes me unfcomfortable in general. he seems uncomfortable.

he kinda looks like david hasselhoff, which i'm not sure if i like about him or not. i could go either way, depending on my mood.

I don't know if it's just a FL thing, but Marino does Courtesy Auto commercials down here (which is kind like a Carmax knockoff). They use the music from Ghostbusters and at the end of the commercial, the announcer guy says, "Tell 'em, Dan Marino." And then Marino talks about low prices and easy credit.

in ny there are ads right now for some local chevy dealer and at the end jeff gordon shows up and says "tell 'em jeff gordon sent ya" and it's like what the fuck. why?

apparently, some women find him attractive, which is mystifying to me. one time when i got in an argument with my friend about carson palmer + whether i should have a crush on him (wtf?) he called over the bartender who was female and she had no opinion on palmer but that dan marino is hot which threw both of us for a loop.

but she said that dan marino is hot, i mean

this is the best "nfl players schilling for a car dealership" ad ever made:

"Hey, Jeff Gordon sent me!"
"Okay, but we're still going to charge you the same price."

OMG I LOVE THAT

god i hate it when i go to football and my friends get into arguments with me about who i should find attractive. it's usually MALE FRIENDS who are doing this too which is like just be gay already! shut up and stop bothering me about whether or not you think jake delhomme looks like wilson from house (WHICH HE TOTALLY DOES FYI)

Deal for Roy Williams looks like it's going to go down. Dallas in GFIN mode.

there is a whole series of eastern motors commercials, all featuring redskins and ray lewis. and often a person called "chief zee" which was an old black dude wearing a v racist native american costume. i was wondering a bit ago: is your job still your credit at eastern motors in these difficult times, or are they regretting such a dumbass policy yet. who knows!

omg ally blowing my mind with delhomme=wilson. i will have to ponder that.

yeah, it was a dude who was trying to convince me about palmer. and it was because i think peyton is cuet which he could not abide. i think the lesson of that interaction is that attraction is subjective and watching football is a little gay.

jeff gordon loves NYC

their song is so good though (xpost this is about eastern motors)

srsly. That backing track is hot.

basically jeff gordon is hated by NASCAR fans because he has a residence in Manhattan

bills just smacked up the chargers who did the same to the pats and the jets! i think the answer is obvious

thank u j0rdan i think u make an excellent point!!!

none of these motherfuckers will say the Bills are the best team in the AFC because they are chickenshit.

you should be happy, look what happened to the NFC East after everybody was on our whole division's dick for four weeks.

that is also a good point. i just have to be in perpetual rodney dangerfield mode wrt the bills; it's in the contract.

"guys you better win your division in the nfc cause these old school east powerhouses are gonna drink your wildcard!! drink it up!! oh!!" THPBBBTPTPPHHBHTBPTPHPHBTPH

eh, i dont care what drugs anyone takes. merriman's ONE failed test was blown way outta proportion for instance (though it's much more serious in rod's case, cuz he left an actual paper trail). i'm not gonna say that rodney's not dirty, cuz he is, but when you think about the dirtiest players in the league it's always a.) safeties b.) o-linemen, because a certain degree of it is actually expected. maybe i'm over-rationalizing cuz i love rodney - okay i definately am - but at the same time i do think he gets singled out for it a lil too much. i also think there's different kinds of dirty, like the conrad dobler or romo type guys who are malicious and try to break guys' pinkie fingers at the bottom of a pile, and then there's the john lynches and rodney harrisons who are excessively rough and unsafe, but more as a product of adrenaline than sadism? idk, mb i'm fulla shit

bills in the superbowl this year I CAN FEEL IT U GUYS

i feel like they are what everyone expected the jags to be?

you can't see it but i am beaming at you guys

I don't know, I just couldn't go and say Rodney Harrison is getting a bum rap on being a dirty player. You might as well come back and say Bill Romanowski was just misunderstood, cause Harrison is just a few rungs down the ladder from that freak at least in his on the field actions. I'll give that Harrison might not eat babies for lunch or anything. Albert Haynesworth seems like a big puppy in interviews and he stomped on a guys head without a helmet a couple of years ago, so anything is possible.

i was still clinging to indy as the afc fav up until yesterday, but getting cornholed by the injury-laden packers is pretty dire stuff. tennessee and pittsburglars are the only other ones i can still take seriously imo

i am worried about tennessee, but i think we can beat pittsburgh!

you're right earl, he doesn't get a bad rap re: his dirtiness - he deserves it. I DONT KNOW WHAT I EVEN MEAN ANYMORE

i am pleased to know that tedy bruschi basically does eat babies for lunch, at least.

bill belichick almost smiled at this press conference!

omg he smiled again he is totally freaking me out! it is not a good look on him.

I dunno why fans like us gonna act surprise when we find out our FOOTBAWL GYROS are actually DICKS and PRICKS, since that is pretty much what most if not all of them were in high school and college?

I mean this whole "lol the manning brothers are just big nerdy dorks!" yeah fuckin' right just because they can't dress themselves

HATE THE PLAYER LOVE THE GAME

listen peyton manning is charming and delightful!

he will whisk me out of my mundane existence to his palatial estate in...indianapolis...

yea but i bet when peyton yells his teammates know it's out of love whereas bruschi is just a dbag

I'M CALLING IT - Bills come unstuck once the divisional games hit for them and NE wins AFC East. i am going to bookmark this post to c&p at the end of the regular season. feel free to do the same.

oh i'm bookmarking it *shakes fist*

Colts O-line is a problem. They cannot run the ball, which they have always been able to do, even the couple of years they were not that great with Manning. The thing that is hurting them is that they have also given up 3 TDs (two on interceptions, 1 on a fumble and a safety equality -23 points) on offense. Early in Mannings career, that was a big problem. Manning throwing TDs to the other team probably cost Mora his job, as I swear Peyton threw like 5 or 6 TDs to the opposition in Jimbos last year as coach. It isn't Dungy's Buc defense, it isn't made to get a small lead and hold it. I think for the most part Indy's D they have done as well as can be expected and kept them in the game. If Manning gets The Colts a TD instead of having an INT go back for 6, the game is a 3 point game, that play was a 14 point turn around alone. That same kind of play pretty much cost them the Bears game too. I could still see them making the playoffs and considering how evened out everything is right now, the team hot going into December might win it all.

OMG RANDY IN PRESS CONFERENCE IS SO HAPPY!

I have no idea who is going to win it all this year, nearly half way through the season, I think it is really wide open.

jow flaccow

I was thinking abt it earliwr and came up with bills in superbowl actually. Dunno though we never get their games in dc.

I don't get why brady is so hateable but uh I think he is super cute can't help it. Interesting re bruschi had no idea..

Yay RANDY MOSS

i would be astonished if the colts missed the playoffs, if only because i cant even remember the last time that happened. even if they lose the division, the WC competition isn't exactly stellar. otm about o-line trubblez tho

re: superbowl, i sorta just have a FEELING about pittsburgh this year, even with that atrocious o-line and the dying running backs. otherwise yea, who the hell knows

jay cutler is a funny-looking kid

Hmmm yeah but wasn't pitt only putting up like 10 points a game early on? Srsly I have no idea what to think now, would like to see a bills game.. Is Tennessee overrated? Don't get their games either..

the point is it is week eight and as far as we can tell nobody has played anybody good yet, we only know that the bengals and the chiefs suck.

also the seahawks

the point is that there is nobody good. there's a bunch of teams and then there are the lions and the bengals and whoever else.

daria, the Bills have a pretty soft schedule, to the extent that that means anything this year. but they have beaten the Jags and the Chargers and Trent Edwards is having a good year.

cutler's resemblance to harland williams is chilling

http://www.superiorpics.com/hs/harland_williams/main1.jpg

also the seahawksREALLY SUCK

some reporter is talking to tedy bruschi on tv right now and all i can think is cousin-fucker!

b-but korton (not fixing that) started 16 games his rookie year!!

ha yes and look how that turned out!

i just have to be in perpetual rodney dangerfield mode wrt the bills; it's in the contract.

Chris Berman has your back.

i know; i love him!

lol run away with me when you finish up at peyton's indianapolis pleasure dome

ps also you are right Titans are scarier than anyone else in AFC right now. it's also impossible to tell how soft the schedule is or ain't right now. shit the RAMS vistory is starting to look like quality, and the division is starting to look like arguably the toughest in the league.

Thing about Buffalo (in addition to that as a fan your heart knows they will brake it and is just waiting for how), and why everyone's still all hem haw wrt them is they're a 5-1 team with no identity. They're not smash-mouth; they don't put on an airshow; they're not a Bryce Paup Years defensive strangling squad. They just execute every phase of the game really, like, super-competently and have a grebt punter and really seem like a TEAM in a way that totally includes Turk Schonert and Perry Fewell and are basically what Dick Jauron would be if Dick Jauron was a football team.

Which it's weird not to be laughing at him but is kind of the mark of the great ones.

i also think there's different kinds of dirty, like the conrad dobler or romo type guys who are malicious and try to break guys' pinkie fingers at the bottom of a pile, and then there's the john lynches and rodney harrisons who are excessively rough and unsafe, but more as a product of adrenaline than sadism? idk, mb i'm fulla shit

not fulla shit this is bigtime otm

bills v. g-men again?

i'll be curious to see what the steelers do against the nfc east. a good test for all parties involved, i reckon.

re: portis, above

if he stays relatively healthy this year, he should take sole possession of number 2 for all time running yards by a washington running back and would probably pass riggo next year.

btw, betts is top 10!

so what are the odds on harrison just retiring? i mean the dude has been in the league about 800 years now.

Man, I really really like Welker. Dude got me fifty bucks by running hard!

Welker is the king of getting the extra 2-3 yards he needs for a first down.

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2008/10/jim_zorns_symphonic_masterpiec.html

Zorn's wife, Joy, plays the viola. Zorn, as you may have heard, is always anxious to learn new skills. So around Christmas time in the late '70s, he decided that he could certainly pick up something so simple as the viola.

(Bog interruption: I asked Clinton Portis if he plays any instruments, and he scoffed, like I was a fool. "Saxophone," he said. "I'm (bleeping) Luther Vandross." Just passing it along. Back to Zorn.)

"I thought I'd be a little smart-aleck and I said, 'I can play this thing, there's only four strings, " the coach said after today's practice. "And I'm left-handed, so I played it left-handed, [even though] it's strung for a right-handed person, and I started learning."