Can we put a moritorium on Bermanisms and cutesy shit and all that?

Cos seriously, the current picks thread is full of this and it's making me see red. Please use this thread as a thread to defend using cutesy shit and annoying Berman catchphrases and all that jazzery. DEFEND. YOUR. SELF.

ok, schef

thanks bro

I do like to say 'Hamburger Hamburger' when Lendale White runs

Rumblin' bumblin' stumblin'

take it easy on us schef!

i can see why ppl do it. we do 17 weeks of picks threads plus playoffs and everyone gets bored writing the same thing over and over.

I do it because I am so cutesy.

WOOP!

What's a Bermanism. This has to do with football? Maybe his coworkers don't think he's talking about football online like a normal manful person. "It's about football." "Then what's that Bermanism trawling your screen?"

i just sat on jury duty for an entire week and the sleazy attorney who was repping himself (plaintiff) looked like a cross between chris berman and paul sorvino and sounded like grover when he talked.

can i still call every team 'super' if i want?

th' RRRRRRRRRRRAIDAZ

NFC NORSE

NEW YAWK FFFOOOOOOTTTball GI-ANSSSSSS

BUT THAT'S WHY THEY PLAY THE GAMES.

I'M WITH YOU, LEATHER.

SUPER MARIO MANNINGHAM LIKE HE'S PLAYING A VIDEO GAME WITH THE WOOP! AND THEN WOOP! AND THEN HE COULD! GO! ALL! THE! WAY 45 YARDS WITH THE TOUCHDOWN BUT THE RAMS WOULD ANSWER

XD

god i'm so fucking excited about football! have i said this already? so fucking excited!

seriously man. it's time.

Screw that noise, I don't want to talk about stats and numerical tenancies. I like baseball and I can get into stats, but that just doesn't work with football.

Football is like pro wrestling with somewhat real games, laughing about it and drinking is half the fun.

and saying WOOP! and then WOOOP!!

WHAT GOES BETTER WITH A ROETHLISBERGER THAN 57 VARIETIES OF HINES WARD COMING DOWN WITH THE FOOTBALL! MOVING LEFT! MOVING RIGHT! AND HE DOES GO! ALL! THE! WAY! IN FOR THE TOUCHDOWN BUT THE STEELERS WEREN'T DONE YET

Oh to be the guy who writes for Berman.

hahaha more please

BUT THEN! PUTTING THE JETS AWAY AS HE PUTS ON THE JETS IT'S WHIZZING WES WELKER! WOBBLING! WANDERING! WINNING THE GAME WITH THIS! FIFTEEN YARDS AFTER THE CATCH! HIS SECOND TOUCHDOWN OF THE GAME! PATRIOTS GET AWAY WITH A WIN 24! 21!

BUT THE BENGALS DEFENSE COULD NOT FIND A WAY TO TIE THIS KANGAROO DOWN SPORT! BOXING JOEY FLACCO! EVADING THE TACKLE! LOOKING DOWNFIELD! A LAYZAH DOWN TO THE FIVE! DERRICK MASON! STILL! GETTING IT! DONE! AND LE'RON MCCLAIN WOULD PUNCH THAT IN ON THE NEXT PLAY

okay, i'll stop

disturbingly accurate.

schef, can I get Edwards Scissorhands grandfathered in before we ban cutesy Bermanisms?

UP IN THE RIGHT HAND CORNER OF YOUR SCREEN! IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE! ITS CHAD! OCHO! CINCO! SHOWING HIS HUEVOS RANCHEROS! IN FOR THE SCORE! OFF WITH THE HELMET! AND A LITTLE MEXICAN HAT DANCE! THAT'S GONNA BE FIFTEEN YARDS AFTER THE KICK BUT YOU GOTTA LOVE THE ATHLETICISM ON THAT PLAY

AND IT'S NOT HORSESHOES BUT IT'S A RINGER! JAVON RINGER! BEHIND THE SCREEN AND UP TO THE TWENTY! SPRINGS OUT ON A NIFTY BLOCK AND WHOOP! THROUGH THE DEFENDERS AND IN FOR THE SCORE! TITANS UP BY THREE SCORES BUT ON THE ENSUING KICKOFF

:D :D :D

WHOOP!

lolllll forks

imagine if Stylez G White ever does make a big gamechanging play. Berman's head will explode.

PEYTON BACK TO PASS AND WHAT'S THAT? IS IT TIMMY IN THE WELL? NO LASSIE IT'S AUSTIN COLLIE WITH A BEAUTIFUL CATCH OVER THE MIDDLE! TAKING THE HIT! UPENDED! BUT BACK UP ON HIS HIND LEGS! BEGGING FOR MORE! AND HE GOT MORE! IN THE THIRD QUARTER! COLTS DOWN BY THREE! INTO THE ENDZONE! OUT OF THE DOG HOUSE! THE PASS IS GOOD! GOOD COLLIE! GOOD! DOG! A HUNDRED AND TEN FOR COLLIE IN THE GAME! HE'S OUR GILETTE DIFFERENCE MAKER! OF THE GAME!

this request never had a chance in hell. lame puns are a core ilx component.

like... i want to jump in here, but forks is just straight killing it

sometimes u just gotta stand back and admire the master

AND SO WHAT IF NEW YORK DIDN'T GET LEBRON! THEY'VE STILL GOT THE NICKS! HAKEEM NICKS THAT IS! SEVENTY FOUR YARDS! TOUCHDOWN! THERE'S THE SALUTE TO ELI! ELI STILL LOOKING GOOD IN THIS, THE FIRST THREE GAMES OF THE SEASON BUT HOLD ON! WHAT ABOUT THE RRRRRRRREDSKINS AND THEIR NEW BIG CHIEF BEHIND CENTER: DONOVAN! RUNS WITH LINEBACKERS! MCNABB! A STELLAR PERFORMANCE FROM THE BIG CHIEF, 19 FOR 26! BUT ONE LITTLE INDIAN WHO DID NOT EARN HIS WAMPUM FOR THE DAY? ALBERT! IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU BETTER PUT SOME CHEESE ON IT! HAYNESWORTH!

ALBERT! IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU BETTER PUT SOME CHEESE ON IT! HAYNESWORTH!

FTFW

i sometimes think that wes welker bemanism post is the best thing I've ever written.

i love the ones where you start the next sentence at the end

THE CHICAGA BEARRRRS! LED BY JAY CUTLER!
http://karendecoster.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/jay-cutler-prejudging2.jpg
WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S NOT QUARTERBACK JAY CUTLER! THAT'S THREE TIME MISTER OLYMPIA PRO BODYBUILDER... JAY CUTLER? WELL THE FOLKS IN ILLINOIS ARE HOPING HE'S GOT A LITTLE OF THAT ARM AND HE CERTAINLY DOES EARLY IN THE FIRST QUARTER, LET'S GOT TO THE TAPE! JAY! TWO-HUNDRED AND THIRTY THREE POUND WEAKLING! CUTLER! LETTING THIS ONE GO INTO A SEA OF POWDER BLUE BUT IT'S SAFE AS IF HE PUT IN FORT KNOX... FORT _JOHNNY_ KNOX! WITH THE RECEPTION! IN FOR THE TOUCHDOWN BUT THE SAN! DEE! AIGO! SUPER CHAAARGERS WON'T GO DOWN THAT EASY

a man i know everyone here in the studio respected and who epitomized the competitive spirit of football. our thoughts and prayers are with his family and teammates tonight. he will be missed. when we come back: THE GEEEEEEE MEN! WITH THEIR HANDS FULL TONIGHT IN DALLAS! TONY! ROCK AND ROMO! ON THE FIELD IN FIVE!

disturbingly accurate.

― j.q higgins, Thursday, September 10, 2009 7:43 AM (11 months ago) Bookmark

standing ovation forx - well done.

huge lols for the berman gets serious

chris berman's "what if" or "time to talk about sports for real" look: double palms up, facing out, looking at the other dudes at the desk, kind of leaning back slightly.

kind of like waving both palms in little semi-circles

COMING OFF A STELLAR 2009! COULD HE DO IT AGAIN? THE GOVERNOR! CEDRIC! ROBERT GUILLAUME! BENSON! TO THE FORTY! THE THIRTY! HE COULD! GO! ALL! THE! WAY! AND HE DOES! IN FOR THE TOUCHDOWN FIFTY ONE YARDS ON THE PLAY IT'S THE LONGEST RUN FROM SCRIMMAGE FOR THE YEAR FOR ANY BACK BUT THE YEAR IS YOUNG! AND SO IS FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK TIM TEBOW! SEEING EARLY ACTION AFTER A STINGER SIDELINES KYLE ORTON AGAINST THA DIRRRTY BIRRRRRDS! MIKE PETERSON OF THE FALCONS! HUNGRY FOR FRESH MEAT! GETTING A LITTLE TEBOW STEAK AS HE WELCOMES THE ROOKIE TO THE NFL AND TO THE GROUND! THE BALL POPS LOOSE AND THE BRONCOS RECOVER BUT THIS CAN'T BE WHAT THE DENVER FANS WANT TO SEE TOM

IT WAS A SHORT OFFSEASON ALL RIGHT. MAYBE TOO SHORT FOR THE PANTHERS? NOT ENOUGH TIME TO GET NUMBA ONE PICK CAM NEWTON READY FOR ACTION? WELL THEY NEED HIM TO STEP UP SOONER THAN LATER AS SLIM JIMMY CLAUSEN FINDS HIMSELF IN A REAL PICKLE, BEING TAKEN DOWN. HARD! BY ROCKY BERNARD! WELL ROCKY YOU MET YOUR MATCH AND ROCKY SAID DOC IT'S ONLY A SCRATCH? NOPE! IT'S A TOUCHDOWN, THE FIRST OF CAM 'S BRAND SPANKING NEW FOOTBALL CAREER, SIXTY YARD PLAY TO NEW TIGHT END GREG OLSEN, SHOWING HIS ABILITY TO SHED TACKLERS AND THAT'S SOMETHING CAROLINA DESPERATELY NEEDS TOM

:D

also lol @ CEDRIC! ROBERT GUILLAUME! BENSON!

daaaaaaaaamn, forks

how'd i miss this thread

a man i know everyone here in the studio respected and who epitomized the competitive spirit of football. our thoughts and prayers are with his family and teammates tonight. he will be missed. when we come back: THE GEEEEEEE MEN! WITH THEIR HANDS FULL TONIGHT IN DALLAS! TONY! ROCK AND ROMO! ON THE FIELD IN FIVE!

― Gulab jamun (Gulab Jamun) into the syrup please. (forksclovetofu), Monday, September 6, 2010 1:55 AM (11 months ago) Bookmark

hard to overstate how much i still love this

just me or does berman seem kinda out of his game these days?

chris berman's "what if" or "time to talk about sports for real" look: double palms up, facing out, looking at the other dudes at the desk, kind of leaning back slightly.

― ('_') (omar little), Monday, September 6, 2010 3:28 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

kind of like waving both palms in little semi-circles

― ('_') (omar little), Monday, September 6, 2010 3:28 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark

this is killing me