"JESUS CHRIST, BRODIE! SNAP THE FUCKING BALL!" aka WEEK THREE 2009

Washington at Detroit
Green Bay at St. Louis
San Francisco at Minnesota
Atlanta at New England
Tennessee at NY Jets
Kansas City at Philadelphia
NY Giants at Tampa Bay
Cleveland at Baltimore
Jacksonville at Houston
New Orleans at Buffalo
Chicago at Seattle
Miami at San Diego
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
Denver at Oakland
Indianapolis at Arizona
Carolina at Dallas

http://i31.tinypic.com/2dalnac.jpg

where do I sign up to become a Bills fan? shit's getting real in cleveland and the scales have fallen from my eyes

i tried to start this thread and name it *readies cyanide fruit punch in the event that the jets make the playoffs* WEEK THREE thread

kept getting an error message tho

helmet tip to cankles (r.i.p.) for this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroKxVMsoSU

Washington at Detroit (skins)
Green Bay at St. Louis (packers)
San Francisco at Minnesota (49ers? hopefully?)
Atlanta at New England (falcons)
Tennessee at NY Jets (jets)
Kansas City at Philadelphia (iggles)
NY Giants at Tampa Bay (giants)
Cleveland at Baltimore (lol)
Jacksonville at Houston (texans)
New Orleans at Buffalo (saints)
Chicago at Seattle (bearz)
Miami at San Diego (chargers)
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (steelers)
Denver at Oakland (raiders)
Indianapolis at Arizona (colts)
Carolina at Dallas (cowboyz)

Washington at Detroit lolWashington (although...)
Green Bay at St. Louis lolramsmaybeshutout
San Francisco at Minnesota lolMN (I am not confident abt this pick)
Atlanta at New England lolNE (I am not confident abt this pick)
Tennessee at NY Jets lolNYJ (I am not confident abt this pick)
Kansas City at Philadelphia lolPhi
NY Giants at Tampa Bay lolNYG
Cleveland at Baltimore loltimore
Jacksonville at Houston lolJax
New Orleans at Buffalo lolNO
Chicago at Seattle lolChicago
Miami at San Diego lolSD
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati lolPittsburgh
Denver at Oakland lolOakland
Indianapolis at Arizona lolIndy
Carolina at Dallas lolDallas (I am not confident abt this pick)

Washington at Detroit: skins - they're are an utterly terrible team with no playmakers on offense. campbell shouldn't be starting and portis & moss & randel-el are on the wrong side of the hill. this team needs to be blown up in a way i think but i'm not sure that's in daniel snyder's DNA which means lots of 9-7/8-8 season to come i think. that said, i'm not gonna pick the lions until they actually win a game.

Green Bay at St. Louis: pack - yall realize that i have to watch the rams every week right? also the chiefs. i end up watching whatever movie is on tnt usually. i wanna jump on the packwagon but that loss last week was fuckin embarrassing. the rams are the worst team in the nfl altho steven jackson should have a big fantasy week

San Francisco at Minnesota: minny - this one is gonna be duper close and i wouldn't be shocked if the niners won. at the very least i think they'll be able to keep it close enough to make favre a bit jumpy and pressing and they might be able to pick him off a few times and win. i'm not going to pick against a pete tho. he's really on another stratosphere right now, lebron style.

Atlanta at New England: pats - pats seem pretty fucked & disjointed right now and that defense is shaky and i love the falcs but don't see the pats losing again.

Tennessee at NY Jets: tenn - love the idea of chris johnson & leon washington in the same game. would like to see the jets try and stretch the field some after what the texans did to the titans d. could see the jets winning but i think the titans are due.

Kansas City at Philadelphia: chiefs - **upset special**. remember that haley was on a staff that beat philly twice last year, and the chiefs played the ravens super close in baltimore. i guess cassell will be playing right? and kolb was shaky last week with the ball in his hands. you heard it here first.

NY Giants at Tampa Bay: nyg - the super manning(ham)s have a lol hueg day. tampa might be second worst team in the nfl. too bad they already drafted a shitty qb from kansas state the year before one of the most qb loaded draft classes of the past 5 or 6 years. enjoy a budget jamarcus russell, fans of the bucs.

Cleveland at Baltimore: baltimore - i think the ravens are gonna have the season that the titans did last year. dominate with a great D and running game and a passing game more competent than ppl think but then lose in the playoffs. as for this game tho, watch out brady :-/

Jacksonville at Houston: houston - dunno what to think of the texans. not sure how they won last week tbh. they can't run for shit, their defense isn't great. i guess andre johnson is that good. jax looks dreadful too.

New Orleans at Buffalo: saints - this one is gonna get ugly, i'm afraid

Chicago at Seattle: bears - not really sure what to think of the bears either tbh. think they might be behind the pack & vikes in that division. they really need some playmakers on offense. hester would be a great second receiver but they really need to get someone in the draft or trade for brandon marshall or something.

Miami at San Diego: super chargers - not sure if/when the chargers will ever get over the hump. they're super frustrating. not sure how they should ever get beat. fins should keep it close but SD is probably too good.

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati: steelers - oohh lord

Denver at Oakland: raiders - raiders beatin ppl and playin ppl mad close. broncos kinda suck it seems. not sure how the raiders actually beat ppl but they do! this game will be awful tho.

Indianapolis at Arizona: cards - not sure what the deal with indy is this year. their offense is super uninspiring. they can't run the ball, but i guess dallas clark might be uncoverable? i think they'll sneak into the playoffs but i'm not sure if THE WEB SHERIFF PEYTON MANNING can Gut his way further than that. i bet the cards throw it all over them in this game.

Carolina at Dallas: cowboys - couldn't imagine being a cowboys fan tbh. seems so excruciating. romo has kind of become the new old favre with these horrible INTs. not sure they can survive games where he's throwing the ball 30+times. and those defensive backs looked awful last week cuz the giants obv don't wanna play with eli throwing the ball 38 times but he looked like brady or someone back there. that said, not sure if the fluttering delhommes have much of a shot here. kinda sad.

Washington at Detroit - skins
Green Bay at St. Louis - packers
San Francisco at Minnesota - vikes
Atlanta at New England - pats
Tennessee at NY Jets - titans
Kansas City at Philadelphia - eagles
NY Giants at Tampa Bay - gints
Cleveland at Baltimore - ravens
Jacksonville at Houston - texans
New Orleans at Buffalo - nola
Chicago at Seattle - bears
Miami at San Diego - bolts
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati - stillers
Denver at Oakland - raiders
Indianapolis at Arizona - colts
Carolina at Dallas - boys

9-7 last week, 23-9 overall

i guess the eagles won the game in philly, but az won the one that "mattered"

also i wanna expand on the point about the ravens. i think they'll get the #1 seed in the afc but lose to a "hotter" team in the playoffs

chargers too injured already to get over the hump this year.

http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/sportsnationdal.jpg

cards over colts is compelling but i think this game sets up well for the colts--cards can't/don't run much and should be a good matchup for the colts' d.

haha that is amazing

Washington at Detroit - Winless baton has been passed. Lions in a laugher.
Green Bay at St. Louis - I think the Rams are still bad so the Packers.
San Francisco at Minnesota - Vikings romp
Atlanta at New England - Falcons have been sug banned from winning this weekend
Tennessee at NY Jets - Titans will romp
Kansas City at Philadelphia - Eagles
NY Giants at Tampa Bay - Giants
Cleveland at Baltimore - Browns
Jacksonville at Houston - JAX because they care
New Orleans at Buffalo - Man tough one for my favorite team. It will be close but it's a good question.
Chicago at Seattle - Seahawks avenge something that happened that no one pays attention to
Miami at San Diego - Football scores are getting harder to judge, but no jury will convict the Dolphins of winning
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati - I hope this is a 4 o'clock start because it looks like a dandy. Palmer is the difference maker in this new found rivalry! More like Bengal Rofflesberger instead of Ben Rofflesberger amirite or amirite whatever it's a danday
Denver at Oakland - I simply do not know
Indianapolis at Arizona - Colts
Carolina at Dallas - Cowboys

The thought that I can't just pick any Detroit opponent to move on in the survival league is shaking my whole universe.

Washington at Detroit - fuck it. DETROIT. but really redskins win too because zorn gets fired within the week.
Green Bay at St. Louis - packers
San Francisco at Minnesota - niners
Atlanta at New England - pats
Tennessee at NY Jets - tenn
Kansas City at Philadelphia - chiefs
NY Giants at Tampa Bay - giants
Cleveland at Baltimore - ravens
Jacksonville at Houston - texans
New Orleans at Buffalo - saints
Chicago at Seattle - bears
Miami at San Diego - chargers
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati - steelers
Denver at Oakland - broncos
Indianapolis at Arizona - cardinals
Carolina at Dallas - dallas

i was rooting for the guy for a long time, but zorn.. for real. so in over his head.

Washington at Detroit - Washington
Green Bay at St. Louis - Green Bay
San Francisco at Minnesota - Minnesota
Atlanta at New England - Atlanta
Tennessee at NY Jets - Tennessee
Kansas City at Philadelphia - Philadelphia
NY Giants at Tampa Bay - New York
Cleveland at Baltimore - Baltimore
Jacksonville at Houston - Houston
New Orleans at Buffalo - New Orleans
Chicago at Seattle - Chicago
Miami at San Diego - San Diego
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati - Pittsburgh
Denver at Oakland - Oakland
Indianapolis at Arizona - Arizona
Carolina at Dallas - Dallas

Washington at Detroit - Washington's D looked pretty good in wk 1 and Stafford is probably not ready for prime time. If Wash turns the ball over it could be close.
Green Bay at St. Louis- GB is pretty helter skelter. Their D lives by takeaways, even when they won the division two years ago they gave up a bunch of yards. I'd have to think the Pack could beat the Rams, but St. Lou is pretty much a mystery team to me, I haven't watched them play in a couple of years.
San Francisco at Minnesota- Might be a decent game, but go with the known and take the Vikings.
Atlanta at New England- Hurm...I'm not sure I can take the Falcons to go into NE and beat the Pats just yet. They might make it happen and if they do, it will probably be kind of a big deal.
Tennessee at NY Jets- I would think the Titans are better than their start. I guess Jets, but I'm not sold on them. This will probably be kind of a fugly game.
Kansas City at Philadelphia- Philly ran into the buzzsaw last week. Brees and NO can put up video game numbers and I think if McNabb was at the driver seat, we could have had a classic. Thing is in those kind of games you make a couple of mistakes and you lose by 14 and not 3. KC gets down by ten early and the game is done, even with Kolb at the helm. I go Eagles.
NY Giants at Tampa Bay- Tampa by all rights seems pretty lousy. The Giants might not blow them out, but I think they should win easy.
Cleveland at Baltimore- Bmore is still solid state and Cleveland seems like a punch line. Haven't seen the Ravens play, but Flacco has put up 500 yards of passing, which is quite a bit compared to his usual numbers last year.
Jacksonville at Houston- Jville fell into a pattern. They often get really banged up playing the Colts. Looks like they brought the D game last week, but I think this will be closer. Houston bounced back after looking cruddy last week. I figure these two clubs will reach a middle ground, but the Texans should win.
New Orleans at Buffalo- Buffalo will need to slow up the Colicovision road show. I don't think it is happening, I'll take the Saints on the road (still an odd thing to say even today).
Chicago at Seattle- I'm going Bears but I always go Bears. It could be a decent game, probably won't be on TV around here.
Miami at San Diego- SD should win, but that doesn't always happen when it should.
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati- I'd like to take the Bengals in an upset, but I wouldn't bet on it unless the spread looked tasty. Bengals D is getting there, but not quite there yet.
Denver at Oakland- I'm kind of hating on Denver right now, so I am going to take Oakland for #46 Todd Christensen. You have to live in the past and not use logic when dealing with the Raiders.
Indianapolis at Arizona- I hope this is a total pinball game. The Rams with Warner got good same time the Colts did with Manning and when St. Louis was at their peak, THEY NEVER PLAYED. God it could have been an epic deep passing 45-41 game. I seem to remember watching Marino and Fouts have a couple of huge games like that. I seem to remember Kenny Anderson with the Bengals hooking up with both Fouts and Marino for a big huge passing game as a little kid. So I hope for a classic open up the bomb bay doors and let em' fly old school Air Coryell type game. Screw defensive struggles in this one, I want like 12 TDs! As usual, I go for the Colts to win.

Wk 1: 12-4
Wk 2: 11-5

i think my favorite epic pinball game was that one between buffalo and san francisco in the early '90s when jim kelly and steve young both went off and the score was 34-31 or something but felt like it should have been 54-51.

week 1: 11-5
week 2: 12-4

where do I sign up to become a Bills fan?

Jesus Christ, brownie!

where do I sign up to become a Bills fan? shit's getting real in cleveland and the scales have fallen from my eyes

― brownie, Tuesday, September 22, 2009 8:20 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

<3 but you will never be able to abandon the browns, even if they move to toronto next; i know how it is. also you should pick a fun team if you're going to abandon the browns.

yay j0rdan s.!

did ade get banned again? motherfuck

i think my favorite epic pinball game was that one between buffalo and san francisco in the early '90s when jim kelly and steve young both went off and the score was 34-31 or something but felt like it should have been 54-51.

― omar little, Tuesday, September 22, 2009 11:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i remember this! bills lost iirc.

i think ade needs to come back with a new screenname and just post on ilnfl and no one on the board can speak of his existence on this board to the outside world

i will not breathe it to a soul

he needs to be our anne frank

lol

omg anne cank

loooooooool

Just saw on Twitter - this is how much Clevelanders love their team: ClevelandLeader Quinn "excited about playing against Baltimore defense"..... we''ll see how excited he is after getting planted in the turf by Ray Lewis.

why did he get banned THIS time? i will help shield him from the nazis.

i think it was a sugg ban :(

his new screenname should obv be anne cank

it's a shame that your original name can be seen otherwise I would suggest we all change our name to anne cank. HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT

let's hope he's writing a diary

It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of wishing u all ill I still believe that ilxors are really good at heart~~

As we head into week 3 of the NFL season I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery and death... I think... peace and tranquillity will return again >:3

Washington at Detroit - the Lions will have their first win vs. confusing Skins
Green Bay at St. Louis - my stoner friend would always say "Green Bowl Packers? Cool"
San Francisco at Minnesota - Farve does his 6 yard pass thing, Peterson does his 200 yard thing.
Atlanta at New England - Pats'll be fired up for this one.
Tennessee at NY Jets - Tennessee can't go 0-3 can they? Titans.
Kansas City at Philadelphia - Wildcat Eagles.
NY Giants at Tampa Bay - Tampa Bay sucks now? what happened? Giants.
Cleveland at Baltimore - Yeah, Ravens.
Jacksonville at Houston - Dont know much about these teams...Texans.
New Orleans at Buffalo - Throw it to T.O., still doesn't matter. Saints
Chicago at Seattle - Chicago
Miami at San Diego - Miami looked pretty good last week.
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati - Upset special...Bengals.
Denver at Oakland - I select the Raiders
Indianapolis at Arizona - Colts D won't "find a way to win" this one. Cards
Carolina at Dallas - Dallas

I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that Chinese ppl are the most disgusting savages in all the world imo.

I don't know why on God's Earth Tony Romo has been anointed a superstar in the National Football League.

-- Tony Dorsett

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4497361

uhhh so does tony dorsett not understand "the dallas cowboys"?

whatever the case may be we have an early contender for the week 4 thread title (esp. if romo melts down again.)

this is like the 5th legendary cowboy to disown tony romo is some fashion, isn't it?

Does TO count as a legendary cowboy? He should.

http://www.dorisday.net/assets/images/with-6-you-get-eggroll-film-poster.jpg

voting we add cankles memorial week 09 parenthetically to the end of thread title.

what did cankles even do to get disappeared that fast? that's not right

lol its so close to favre leads the league is smiles that its beautiful

is = in

LOL cowboys pwned! (I have no life; hence, watching this game in its entirety.)

jake delhomme leads the league in accents <3

Tony Romo leads the league in dimples

cowcat for touchdown

Say this one over and over in an accent like Justin Wilson...
http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n24/terr-bo/JustinWilson.jpg

Jake Delomme to Pierre Garcon in the New Orleans Superdome

Next: John Gruden declares he likes Tony Romo so much, goshdarnit he'll marry the kid if Jessica turns him down.

wow, that was some play calling there dallas.

lol the were throwing awful wide receiver fades to someone who isn't even a wide receiver!

pee-yew. not so much caring who wins as to who will stink Jerry's palace up worse.

kinda hoping for Cowboys going 0-2 in the terrordome.

GOD the panthers suck. one of the most boring, one-dimensional offenses in football

oh, jake ;_;

jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake

Does anyone have Vinny Testaverde's number?

http://fantastiksports.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/john-fox.jpg

i mean they can't continue this way can they?

is it really.. i mean, what was steve smith doing on that play?

17 J. Delhomme

3 M. Moore

11 A. Feeley

that was 100% smith's fault but it's still fun to blame it on poor jake

it was a miscommunication we dont know whose fault it was

I was actually wondering a day or so ago if AJ Feeley was still on a roster. Question answered.

QB throws the ball, QB gets the INT. They get the money so they get the blame.

i agree it was likely smith's fault fwiw

mcnabb's probably at home marveling @ this clock management

Oh alot of INTs in set passes are the wideouts fault, but that is the breaks. If it was 1 bad INT that would be something, but Delhomme is stone cold. Muhammad also cost them a bunch of yards with a couple of ill timed penalties tonight.

Funny thing is that they totally blamed the Carolina offense breaking down on Dan Henning a couple of years back and then he went to Miami and implemented the wildcat.

I think Carolina's problem is that they get pretty much bupkus out of their backs in the passing game. You got a guy that can break plays and they are not getting him the ball in screens and stuff. They don't use the short stuff too well at all and everything is being forced into the wideouts. At least that is what I am seeing.

jake

it's just a very vanilla offense. but there's also a talent issue--they have two dynamic backs and one elite receiver, but get nothing from the other receivers or the tight end. add an erratic qb and a line that can't pass block and the problems multiply fast.

bite down on the cyanide pill now boys

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1072/604581547_670e540524.jpg

You don't have a TE, get the ball to the backs. They need to do some stuff like the Eagles do with Westbrook.

Tony Romo; "We didn't make as many mistakes"....AS JAKE DID

ugh someone please defeat the Broncos so I can stop hearing the words 'the UNDEFEATED denver broncos'

they have two dynamic backs and one elite receiver, but get nothing from the other receivers or the tight end

TE rosario was their leading receiver for yardage on the night and caught their only TD?

xpost lol raiderfan

ugh someone please defeat the Broncos so I can stop hearing the words 'the UNDEFEATED denver broncos'

Their schedule gets a lot tougher from here on out, but they still get to play the Chiefs twice, the Raiders again, a beat up Chargers team twice, the Redskins... they've got a good chance to win a lot of games.

TE rosario was their leading receiver for yardage on the night and caught their only TD?

It's not like he does that on a regular basis though.

37-11 on the year, 13-3 for the week

Obviously on steroids.

eh, fuckin cowboys

Their schedule gets a lot tougher from here on out, but they still get to play the Chiefs twice, the Raiders again, a beat up Chargers team twice, the Redskins... they've got a good chance to win a lot of games.

[sarcastic font] Oh good, I'm glad the Broncos can finally catch a break [/sarcastic font]

May I propose a separate league where the sucking teams just play each other? Oh wait. We had that til the Broncos started freaking WINNING games. It's the AFC West.

Chad Pennington out for the year.

My hopes for another perfect season remain alive.

steve smith admits that, for no particular reason other than that he got impatient, he changed his route on that final int

So I guess he wasn't kidding when he said he didn't like JD as a QB?

Is it just me or is Steve Smith kind of a douche.

he's insane but generally speaking he backs it up.

panthers look bored tbh. i wonder if this is a coaching issue.

they just don't seem cohesive at all. if anything their good/great players just make the bad ones stand out more.

let's stfu about smith "backing it up" these days - the panthers' receivers have hands of wood every time i've seen them lately. i'm with gruden 100% last night: delhomme's shitty play isn't entirely, or necessarily mostly, his fault. there was a time i'd be like, sure, steve smith is a raging asshole (who seems to fly under the radar of sports writers who love to handwring about destructive WRs, somehow?), but he can catch but hell no, not on his performances starting late last season. if he's admitting he's doing this on PURPOSE then dude is fucked.

thigpen looks like a decent pick up by miami, i guess? people seem to think he is someone a team has a chance with.

thigpen had a little success playing what was basically a college offense with KC. iirc i saw a stat about his effectiveness drastically going down as the game progressed. i'm not even really sure if he's a caretaker qb.

The first time he played he was as bad as any QB I've ever seen, but he actually had some nice games at the helm of a very bad team last year once he settled in.

yeah the last time i saw him he didnt look great, but he didnt look clearly over his head either. not much worse than cassel now imo.