"We made that quarterback look like Dan Marino" WEEK SIX 2009

Houston at Cincinnati - Close game, but I think the Bengals pull yet another Q4 surprise.
Detroit at Green Bay - Green Bay wins, but Rogers can't torch the Lion secondary from his back.
Baltimore at Minnesota - The only reason I'm picking the Vikes here is because they're magical.
NY Giants at New Orleans - I like the Saints at home, especially now that they have a defense worth a damn.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh - Browns have benched Quinn and traded Edwards, who the hell is left?
Carolina at Tampa Bay - Bucs squeak out their first win at home.
Kansas City at Washington - Chefs squeak out their first win on the road.
St. Louis at Jacksonville - Jags were embarrassed in Seattle, and the Rams will be easy prey.
Arizona at Seattle - The Fitzgerald machine looks warmed up and ready to go, finally.
Philadelphia at Oakland - This might be the last week we see Jamarcus Russell, if he even makes it to Sunday.
Tennessee at New England - Titans drop to 0-6, sad.
Buffalo at NY Jets - An angry defense looking for an easy mark. Sorry, Trent.
Chicago at Atlanta - Falcons at home, but not by much.
Denver at San Diego - It's MNF, so who knows. I like the Broncos to beat divisional competitors, though.

Dismal 8-6 last week, 55-21 over all.

Houston at Cincinnati - I think Cincy is bound to have a setback game, but I don't think it will be outdoors in Cincy against a mediocre dome team.
Detroit at Green Bay - Detroit is a pretty good first-half team, but not very good in the second half.
Baltimore at Minnesota - Minny has barely defeated two mid-grade teams and whooped some bad teams. Balmer.
NY Giants at New Orleans - Bet the home team when you aren't sure. Also, maybe Eli is kinda injured or something.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh - C'mon
Carolina at Tampa Bay - I was surprised to find out Josh Johnson is a black dude from Oakland.
Kansas City at Washington - It is unbelievable how many times I've picked the Redskins to win games, and yet here I am doing it again.
St. Louis at Jacksonville - Pretty sure I'd pick STL to lose no matter who they were playing, home or road. Even Raiders.
Arizona at Seattle - Boise Baboons on a winning strake.
Philadelphia at Oakland - Hey guys, Oakland is terrible.
Tennessee at New England - If they had a healthy secondary I might go Tenn, but they don't.
Buffalo at NY Jets - Tempted to pick Buffalo here.
Chicago at Atlanta - Hunch.
Denver at San Diego - Coming off a bye, at home ... if they don't win I will be all hara-kiri.

Don't feel like charting my pathetic progress anymore.

Dr. Fever is right, except Washington and Baltimore win their games.

So interested to see the Miami v. New Orleans game next week. I figure the Saints will kill us, but I thought the same about the Jets.

i was also 8-6 last week and 54-22 on the year.

Houston at Cincinnati* - feeling the bengals so far, though they're really lucky
Detroit at Green Bay* - detroit's had their win for the season
Baltimore at Minnesota* - i don't like the ravens after the last couple of weeks
NY Giants at New Orleans* - nawlins' D might be just enough
Cleveland at Pittsburgh* - after their epic battle last week, a comedown for cleveland
Carolina at Tampa Bay* - tampa's gonna steal this one
Kansas City at Washington* - almost went with KC, but their running game looks so bad i just can't
St. Louis at Jacksonville* - st louis is the worst team on the planet imo
Arizona* at Seattle - don't see seattle throwing up 41 pts again
Philadelphia* at Oakland - easy pickins
Tennessee at New England* - poor jeff fisher...i think they should run EY out there
Buffalo at NY Jets* - rex ryan will murder buffalo by himself
Chicago* at Atlanta - great matchup i think. i'm feeling chicago despite atl's homefield
Denver* at San Diego - san diego is worse than we think tbh

*shits on rex ryan's face*

Buffalo at NY Jets - Tempted to pick Buffalo here.

looool that's insane but <3

i think the Bills should consider how happy it would make J0rdan, though

looool that's insane but <3

I just feel like that offense has too many good players to not randomly have an amazing game every once in awhile.

after Ralph Wilson's induction into HOF I was so ready for the Bills to go all BUFFFFFFALOOOOO BIIIIILLLS on everyone...still hoping for their late breakaway season...

Bills might be awesome with a decent o-line but man Edwards Scissorarm is just not cutting it (lol)

Science needs to get involved here and clone a young Jim Kelly and Thurman Thomas.

Also, re-posting this for posterity

http://i38.tinypic.com/3484vx3.jpg

Houston at Cincinnati - Houston will pass like the wind against a terrible Bengals 2ndary
Detroit at Green Bay - Detroit
Baltimore at Minnesota - Favres
NY Giants at New Orleans- Giants cream them
Cleveland at Pittsburgh - replayed a 1980 game on ActionPC football and it was 35-34 Browns loss. Can't see this happening this week. Browns win.
Carolina at Tampa Bay - reeling Panthers get bumped to the UFL
Kansas City at Washington - Wahington will romp and trounce. Rompce
St. Louis at Jacksonville - JAX
Arizona at Seattle - these two team are weird. Seattle, tho, is weird like a fox.
Philadelphia at Oakland - 1980 Super Bowl rematch. If Plunkett starts the Raiders might have a chance
Tennessee at New England - Tenessee is a strange team. Weirder than Seattle but can't harness it for good.
Buffalo at NY Jets - Mangini built up a great team in NY and now his genius is being heard loud and clear but the world won't listen.
Chicago at Atlanta - Buttler will win this and needs to resurrect the sugar huddle
Denver at San Diego - Denvers coach went to my alma mater.

xp loooool i somehow missed that^

Carolina at Tampa Bay - reeling Panthers get bumped to the UFL

haahah really hope so tbh

Their uniforms would fit in pretty well with some tweaks.

it would be a seamless transition

Science needs to get involved here and clone a young Jim Kelly and Thurman Thomas.

― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, October 13, 2009 4:13 PM

it wouldn't help :_:

this team needs Kent Hull, House Ballard, and Jim Ritcher.

8-6 last week :(
53-23 on the year

Houston at Cincinnati - CIN
Detroit at Green Bay - GB
Baltimore at Minnesota - Bmore
NY Giants at New Orleans - NYG (homer wishpick and not one made of confidence I have no prob w/ NO winning tho. I think NYG wins ToP battle and the game)
Cleveland at Pittsburgh - PB
Carolina at Tampa Bay - CAR
Kansas City at Washington - WAS
St. Louis at Jacksonville - JAX
Arizona at Seattle - AZ
Philadelphia at Oakland - PHI
Tennessee at New England - NE (Vince Young sees playing time)
Buffalo at NY Jets - NYJ
Chicago at Atlanta - ATL
Denver at San Diego - DEN

10-4; 54-22. Not sure about my picks yet, I usually do them on Fri. or Sat. Looking forward to the Saints game though, that's for sure.

I won't get the Saints game, I'm sure. I'll have to watch Tampa and Carolina, or, if it isn't blacked out, St. Lou and Jax. How am I supposed to keep liking professional football this way?

OH SWEET! I don't have to watch Jax. Local CBS is carrying Ravens @ Vikings instead.

Houston at Cincinnati - I'm taking Cinci, as they have a better D but I could see this one as being close. Who would have thought that Benson would be having success? Benson's speed is the thing that impresses me, as he would look slow as hell playing for the Bears. It does seem that some players get off on the wrong step with some clubs and it just never works out until they get a shot some place else.
Detroit at Green Bay - Green Bay should win, but they have some flaws especially in that offensive line.
Baltimore at Minnesota - This is pretty much a pick em. Minnesota's D has been destroying some QBs. B-more seemed out of sync last week. I'm leaning Vikings, but I could easily see Favre throwing two TDs to Ed Reed in this one and it going the other way.
NY Giants at New Orleans - Hard game to call...I really want to go Saints, but I got like years upon years of the Saints sucking say I am a sucker to take them over the Giants. I'm sorry NO, I just can't trust you in my heart even now, I'll take NY.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh - Steelers have been mediocre by their standards, but I don't see them losing at home to the Browns.
Carolina at Tampa Bay - Errr...ugly and fugly. I guess Carolina, but really who cares.
Kansas City at Washington - KC is probably the best 0-5 club out there and may be better than some clubs with wins. Who knows, I guess I'll take Washington as their D is still pretty decent and KC's is pretty porous.
St. Louis at Jacksonville - Eeny Meeny Miny Moe which Jaguars team is going to show, is it the one that seems to blow or is it the one in the know? Jack Del Rio is probably toast, but you can spread the jam if they lose to this crappy Rams club with Kyle Boller. I'll take the good Jags to win.
Arizona at Seattle - This will probably be a good game, as both are middling clubs that seem to be getting their act together. I'm going Seahawks at home.
Philadelphia at Oakland - Oakland has turned the black hole into a dwarf star, so much for surprises. I'll take the Eagles.
Tennessee at New England - Tenn is all out of whack, so go NE to win.
Buffalo at NY Jets - Sanchez made some nice passes last week, but he could use some work in the short game. Sorry Bills not this week, Jets it is.
Chicago at Atlanta - Crap didn't the Bears play the Falcons in Atlanta last year too? Give em' a home and home... That was a ball buster of a loss for the Bears. Things are changing, as the funny thing is that I think I'm going to take the Bears in a SHOOTOUT.
Denver at San Diego - SD needs the win and Denver has to be rocky mountain high. I don't believe in Norv Turner and the Chargers have been over rated for a good while, but Phil Rivers is the deal and he seems to take beating the Broncos as some personal thing. So I go Chargers at home.

Last week 11-3, 55-21 for the year.

``I can't respect that stuff, all that Wildcat,'' Jets linebacker Calvin Pace told The New York Times after Miami's 31-27 victory, which included 110 yards on 16 plays out of the Wildcat. ``We're in the NFL. Don't come here with that nonsense.''

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_zYaFP45lGWM/Rx-Ii-TfDOI/AAAAAAAAAig/epmPle52U98/s320/u+mad.jpg

That nonsense just made you look a fool.

"we're in the NFL. don't do shit that surprises us!"

OGOchoCinco Thank you Motorola, I can finally get off this damn minute plan, I didn't even have free nights and weekend minutes!!!
about 1 hour ago from txt

lol whut

Houston at Cincinnati - Bungles FTW
Detroit at Green Bay - Packers
Baltimore at Minnesota - Vikes.
NY Giants at New Orleans - Giants? Tough choice.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh - Stillers
Carolina at Tampa Bay - Panthers but hoo boy.
Kansas City at Washington - Chefs.
St. Louis at Jacksonville - Jags.
Arizona at Seattle - Cardys.
Philadelphia at Oakland - Iggles. And yet I'm going to the game. Figure it's a good opportunity to see DMac in action. Yes, I'm making lemonade.
Tennessee at New England - Pats
Buffalo at NY Jets - Jets
Chicago at Atlanta - Hotlanta.
Denver at San Diego - Broncs? Sandy at home might be tough though.

Houston at Cincinnati - bengals
Detroit at Green Bay - pack
Baltimore at Minnesota - vikes
NY Giants at New Orleans - wow. giants.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh - stillers
Carolina at Tampa Bay - bucs steal one
Kansas City at Washington - chiefs have been gettin close
St. Louis at Jacksonville - jags
Arizona at Seattle - hawks
Philadelphia at Oakland - eagles
Tennessee at New England - pats
Buffalo at NY Jets - jets
Chicago at Atlanta - falcons
Denver at San Diego - picking broncos till they lose

7-7 last week, 52-24 overall

guys I got a feeling about pitt vs cle

a feeling that's deep inside

it's Steeler week here in ol' clevetown and I gotta share it

http://www.fungkeblakchik.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/sharing-is-caring_girls_feature_feature-large.png

[waves lighted Zippo]

“I’m getting a lot of ‘boycott the NFL’ emails,” huffed the National Review’s Kathryn Lopez on Twitter this a.m.

hahaha wat

LOOOOOOL

OGOchoCinco Attention: all Cincinnatians, movie day treat from me to you to see Law Abiding Citizen with Jaimee Fox at 11:10 2night NewPort On The Levee
about 3 hours ago from Echofon

OGOchoCinco If you're at the theater box office when I get there I'm purchasing all tickets, food and drinks, courtesy of The Black Mexican,see you soon
about 3 hours ago from Echofon

*MOVES TO CINCINNATI*

he's a great man of our time

Adam_Schefter Call me a skeptic - which I almost never am, truly - but something about this Balloon Boy story seems like a scam.
about 3 hours ago from UberTwitter

http://fc.bullis.org/~john_Portlock/FOV2-0001DED1/S01043F80.0/detective(39).gif

Call me a skeptic - which I almost never am, truly

yeah skepticism is bad trait in journalists

"I dunno, I think there's something fishy about that JFK assassination."

sad rb thinking baout things:

“Me, I am 6-4, 265 pounds,” Jacobs said. “I am supposed to run into people. I am supposed to take somebody on. That’s me. If I don’t do that, I am terrible.”
Then in no uncertain terms, Jacobs instructed the cluster of reporters around his locker that he would keep talking only if they wanted to discuss the Giants’ success or their matchup Sunday against the 4-0 New Orleans Saints. If not, he added sharply, they should get away from his locker.
No one did. Instead, he was asked whether he saw himself as a player who could set the tone for the team. After initially dismissing the question, Jacobs answered it, although he seemed upset, then ended the interview.
“Yes, I do,” he said. “I am going out and just running into people. I’m 6-4 and 265 pounds, doing what I am supposed to do, running into people to get a 2-yard loss. Happy?”

surely running into people to get a two yard loss is what jamal lewis does.

officially submitting "I'm 6-4 and 265 pounds, doing what I am supposed to do: running into people to get a 2-yard loss" for next week's thread title.

seconded

<3

right up there with Leroy Hoard

hope he gets a big game in the next two weeks so he can calm the fuck down. I love Brandon but the last thing the giants need is a big moody distraction.

surely running into people to get a two yard loss is what jamal lewis does.

dude it's Steelers week, no more Browns negativity until Sunday at 4pm

i have spoken

http://www.cinemaretro.com/uploads/kellyoddball.jpg

lewis burned me last year in fantasy; no more love

I love Brandon but the last thing the giants need is a big moody distraction.

― Does the hole come standard or did you have to special order it (forksclovetofu), Friday, October 16, 2009 10:07 AM

come back Tiki Barber all is forgiven lol

ps The Big Moody is a grebt nickname imo

Brandon needs a hug.

hahah, "big moody"!
God I wish Jacobs and Shockey could somehow line up against each other on Sunday.

by we i mean me, alone

i convinced myself that because i had to write 5 pages in 90 minutes it was ok to drink whiskey the entire time. and now i am not tired AT ALL

summer INFL = australian rules football? March to August, grand final in September. Just sayin...

my friend told me the other night how she was roofied at a club and then went home to write a history paper once she was woken up enough at 3am. 2 days later her prof called her into his office and showed her the paper. it was nonsense about the new britney spears album riddled with typos. you should go for that route.

was gonna say, 5 pages that fast = pretty damn good.

xpost

not to be all anti-intellectual, but.. well shit, i did the grad school thing long enough, i think i'm due for a couple years of entertaining myself principally with NFL and fox news.

it's all about balance

i dig aussie football because the refs wear funny hats and the field is too enormous for tv.

unfortunate lol's at roofie story. i had done some research and had read most of the articles i pulled, but did not typed a word until 10:25 or so.

espn's airing 5 afl games next year :) my husband describes the games as basketball + soccer on crack

schef, i was drinking at a party with former colleagues from grad school, and one of them explained to me how they baited me (prob during a smoke break, i don't know) into dropping a bunch of references to snoop dogg's mtv reality show (which i have not even seen?!) in the middle of a seminar. on 17th century french libertines. i have no memory of this but i was so delighted!

the moral of the story is that school is not only stupid, it might make you crazy.

if school taught me anything, it's that copy-pasting the internet is always a strong choice.

guys i hate school

i want to do anything besides school. work at cvs, anything.

yea u say taht now

jordan youre almost done right? stay strong dude.

guys, we had a weird day here so don't listen to me. after two months of random ppl showing up asking if we knew a dude living above us because they can't get in touch, and a private investigator finally showing up with this question, they found the dude. still above us. i've never lived in an apt building where there was a dead body and it's seriously weird. it's making me goofy because dude. what the hell!!! i mean the friends and the pi were let into his apt once he skipped rent on the landlord, presumably? YET HE WAS IN THERE. it's like fucking csi miami upstairs right now. i can't comprehend what might've happend here!

(this thread is my therapy session etc!)

many xposts

gooood grief!
this is a tasteless thing that my dad might say, but the truth is, you have probably lived in many apartment buildings where there was a dead body at some point and you just didn't know about it?

That's fucked up!!

Dude I feel for you CAD. I missed today's game so I could watch the Dodgers braek heart from an internet stream in the library, while I worked through a lecture about chest pain and then made tiny notecards about lipid-lowering medications.

See basically this is my main problem with baseball, that there is nothing fun about watching it on TV other than watching teams you like winning, and when that does not happen it suxxx. Whereas somehow I managed to kind of enjoy watching the Bills play the freaking Jets yesterday, because TV football + internet zings is always a good time.

xp Yikes

xp schef whoa that is fucked. a couple weeks ago some dude was drinking and fell off a 3rd floor fire escape in my building. i was away at my gf's at the time and when i got back there was a little flower memorial on the sidewalk near the door where i walk every single day, and the cable news ppl were outside and all like "DID U KNOW THE DUDE FROM THE 3RD FLOOR?"

it was weird.

c-l you're right, it's really hard for me to enjoy a random baseball game these days but i was watching the damn ufl last week.

a guy on a motorcycle wiped out, hit a pole & died in front of my house last year. my roomie gave him cpr. there is still a wreath type thing in front of our place.

I'm still trying to love baseball. Definitely not the instant love that NFL was. I enjoy baseball in post-season, but regular season...there's something too zen about it. I'm not patient enough.

you're probably right! except i was property manager on a couple of those buildings so i probably should've been on the ball more there.

xpost yeah! we've been getting "harrassed" (as much as you can say that now that you know the dude either was murdered in his own place or killed himself -- we didn't want to ask more questions!*) for two months about this dude and when it was finally a PI last week asking we were like, oh god this is bad but hopefully he just skipped town and is livin the dream somewhere random? it's creepy.

* kinda thinking should've asked more questions cos if dude killed himself, sad, i mean he seemed like a regular dude, neither of us knew him but for hallway run-ins, but if he was murdered in there? would like to know!

hehe this is a downer thread now? baseball is too long for even a baseball fan, speaking as a person who used to try to tune in baseball games on a 10-inch mini tv with no reception.

ok guys i'm making this thread creepy as hell sorry.

schef that's way creepy. the town drunk lived up the road from me in high school, everyone called him Creepy Jesus and he shouted at lightpoles and staggered up and down the middle of the road in the early morning....one day there were cop cars out front of his house, neighbors said they found him face down in a puddle in his driveway, drowned. made me feel bad for avoiding him. turned out his family lived up the road from him but had cut him out of their life completely. it was weird.

ok, that is weird! are you sure he didn't just OD or have some freak accident or medical emergency? a girl i went to middle school with (i hadn't seen her since, but it's a small town we're from), randomly collapsed and died two weeks ago, and nobody really knows why, possibly something with electrolyte imbalance + heart condition or maybe she was anorexic and no one wants to say so.

a girl at my school was walking across a street today & collapsed and died :-/

no there wasn't any foul play or extenuating circumstances...it only takes a few inches of water for a person to drown, especially if they're face down and drunk. I think the weird part was learning about who he was AFTER he had died. you know, you avoid someone becuase they're weird and creepy and then you find out they had this sad life and well maybe that would make me weird and creepy too.

long as we're talkin bout things that happened to other people that we got mixed up in: gf and I were on the train that ran over this guy Saturday night - http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/nj_subway_train_rolls_over_man_who_bFgmgpTeI0X8UDh4zJca7N
they emptied the station and we walked home with sirens coming the other way for fifteen minutes

oops, sorry xpost, i meant guy who lived upstairs from chez schef!

Movies about baseball >>>>>>>> actual baseball.

that's what I'm learning, lol

well, alex described him off the picture he was shown a bit back from the PI - and i remembered him, he was pretty normal but quiet. the thing is, it was a couple months of ppl looking for his and mail piling up - and ppl were DEFINITELY let in his apt to look for him during that period. i have no idea what happened! we have boiler rooms in these apartments because the landlord is too cheap to pay for heat or water, not that ive ever thought about this but - they'd be easy places to hide and disappear if you were killing yourself/another person! our building was crawling with cops, emts and hazmats all day! it's creepy as shit - wtf happened? it wasn't like there weren't ppl looking for him, like you hear sad stories about super depressed ppl or old ppl who never get found until the stench starts- it wasn't like that.

i dunno! it's weird! it's not football either so now i feel bad saying all this but it's weird to me and i wish i had more info because it does make me a little uncomfortable to know some dude about my age who was quiet and didn't seem to have drug thing going on had something crazy happen!

ugh xpost i was on a train that ran over a dude not that long ago. that was awful!

several years ago i rented one of four units in converted old house. first, junkies buying from downstairs guy set our dumpster on major FIRE. then a week later, another junkie died in dealer's unit. much commotion, ambulances etc. that was annoying. then the next week, the really sweet 86 year old guy living directly below me died. more ambulances. that was sad.

then i moved the fuck out of there before i became the next corpse.

we were mortified about being on riding dude's murder weapon and then it turns out he sorta rolled drunkenly to the middle of the tracks and then walked out unhurt! didn't know whether to celebrate his luck or be pissed that he made us late to get home.

anyways, jeez shef: severe weirdness

xpost sorry schef

my worst apartment experience might've been petworth.. ten years ago.. it was not a great neighborhood where i was. last night before i moved out, i was up late packing stuff, and heard this pop pop pop like firecrackers from pretty near by, which was gunshots, then a bunch of sirens. some poor woman a few blocks over in columbia heights who was just carrying her laundry into her building was shot and killed - saw the news story the next day and was like oh.. so THAT was what that was. ugh. during the time i lived there, also had my car broken into & gotten mugged at gunpoint in broad daylight. cops told us there was a crack house across the street. i guess i lived in a pretty sketch apartment complex for a summer when i was in college too, but there was nothing like moving from rural nowhere to the middle of DC where it quickly became kind of stressful to even walk out the door.

jeez schef, gruesome! :(

Just one more in the mile-long list of reasons I hate baseball: game ran over and screwed up my dvr trying to record House. Now I gotta torrent the shit.

thought i'd join the downerness for a minute:

a football player at my school was stabbed and died on saturday, not too far from my building

Are you at UCONN?

yup

Have they figured out who or why?

saw a lot of reporting on that on the news today. he was really close to darius butler, pats rookie CB.

well it happened in the midst of a fight - couple ppl are about to be arrested i guess

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4578563

xp

1 week before me & my gf moved out of our place a guy was shot abt 100 yds from our building, right on the corner, while we were making spaghetti. it was a drive-by (my neighbors said he was getting chased) so there were something like 12 shots--i think the most fucked up part of the whole incident was how difficult it was to find any details at all about the incident; there was a line about it in the ny post police blotter, but other than that it was like it had never happened, like this dude--this 24-yr-old kid--had never existed at all.

officially an agoraphobic now. thanks, guys.

bump

Not sure why this disappeared...maybe somebody dropped it from New Answers?