It's Tennis Night in America! WEEK SEVEN 2009

Green Bay Packers at Cleveland Browns - The Browns might win this... okay, no they won't.
San Diego Chargers at Kansas City Chiefs - Rivers will have his revenge on the unfortunate Chefs.
Indianapolis Colts at St. Louis Rams - The Rams taking Jax to OT last week was a fluke. Won't score more than 9 against Indy.
Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers - Picking the Magic Vikes until they lose.
New England Patriots at Tampa Bay Bucs - Hoping the Pats deliver another 59-0 thumping and the Bucs are too embarrassed to return to the US.
San Francisco 49ers at Houston Texans - I dunno why I'm picking the Niners on the road, except that Frank Gore will probably be back.
Buffalo Bills at Carolina Panthers - Panthers ain't great, but I think they've got this.
New York Jets at Oakland Raiders - Jets seems to be spiraling downward and going across the country to a hostile environment probably won't help matters.
Atlanta Falcons at Dallas Cowboys - The Falcons may not win this, but I'm picking them in hopes of seeing Dallas lose at Jerryworld™.
Chicago Bears at Cincinnati Bengals - Love you Ochocinco, but this is gonna be a tough afternoon.
New Orleans Saints at Miami Dolphins - The Saints (yes, the Saints!) are probably the best DEF Miami will have faced this year. Chad Henne will have to win with his arm if he's to win at all.
Arizona Cardinals at New York Giants - Giants rebound at home against jetlagged Cards.
Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins - Iggles can't have two rifuckingdiculous games in a row, right?

10-4 last week, 65-25 for the year.

i just ruined the other thread so thanks for being so on the ball. drew brees is on nfl wearing some hideous shirt right now!

Green Bay Packers at Cleveland Browns - Pack Attack!
San Diego Chargers at Kansas City Chiefs - Chahjehs
Indianapolis Colts at St. Louis Rams - Wish it'd be the Rams, but Colts easy.
Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers - If there's a D that knocks Favre out this season, it'll be the Stillers. Pittsburgh.
New England Patriots at Tampa Bay Bucs - PATS
San Francisco 49ers at Houston Texans - Close one. I'll take Houston.
Buffalo Bills at Carolina Panthers - Carolina, as long as they pound the ball and don't let Delhomme throw 6 INTs and lose 2 fumbles.
New York Jets at Oakland Raiders - Not as close of a game as this past weekend's games would make it seem. This'll be an easy win for NYJ. Just need to tighten the reins on Sanchez a bit and hand the ball off to TJ & Leon some more.
Atlanta Falcons at Dallas Cowboys - Cowboys suck. Falcons here.
Chicago Bears at Cincinnati Bengals - No more Odom for Cincy = shaky D and no QB pressure. Hope Cincy proves me wrong, but I'm goin' with da Bears.
New Orleans Saints at Miami Dolphins - Goin' out on a limb and takin' the Fish.
Arizona Cardinals at New York Giants - Giants pick themselves up by their bootstraps this week.
Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins - Gotta be Philly. And goodbye, Zorn.

Watch out for this dude.

http://i36.tinypic.com/99dq9l.jpg

A gentleman's 7-7 last week; 60-30 on the year

Green Bay Packers at Cleveland Browns - GBP
San Diego Chargers at Kansas City Chiefs - SD
Indianapolis Colts at St. Louis Rams - IND
Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers - PS
New England Patriots at Tampa Bay Bucs - NE
San Francisco 49ers at Houston Texans - SF
Buffalo Bills at Carolina Panthers - CAR I guess.
New York Jets at Oakland Raiders - NYJ
Atlanta Falcons at Dallas Cowboys - AF
Chicago Bears at Cincinnati Bengals - CIN <----------
New Orleans Saints at Miami Dolphins - NO
Arizona Cardinals at New York Giants - NYG
Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins - PHI

WTF?? Where did the Week Six thread go??? It's GONE!!

That was weird. Quotation marks make Search a pain in the ass, too. Found it by searching for SIX, not Marino.

SIX is easier than Marino? search is weird

i did awful last week on pix

Green Bay Packers at Cleveland Browns - packers
San Diego Chargers at Kansas City Chiefs - chargers
Indianapolis Colts at St. Louis Rams - indy of course
Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers - vikings >:[
New England Patriots at Tampa Bay Bucs - hahaha sorry english ppl
San Francisco 49ers at Houston Texans - niners
Buffalo Bills at Carolina Panthers - lol. carolina
New York Jets at Oakland Raiders - RAIDERS ARE ON A ROLL BABY
Atlanta Falcons at Dallas Cowboys - falcons
Chicago Bears at Cincinnati Bengals - cincy
New Orleans Saints at Miami Dolphins - dolphins. j/k
Arizona Cardinals at New York Giants - giants
Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins - eagles

for two days now this has been advertised on espn:

RICK REILLY
What Do I Know?

The Broncos are unbeaten since our guy disrespected them. What now? Link>>>

When you click the link...there is no story about the Broncos. I'm ready to punch Rick Reilly.

you've been rick riled

Green Bay Packers at Cleveland Browns - GBP
San Diego Chargers at Kansas City Chiefs - SD
Indianapolis Colts at St. Louis Rams - IND
Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers - PS
New England Patriots at Tampa Bay Bucs - NE
San Francisco 49ers at Houston Texans - TX
Buffalo Bills at Carolina Panthers - CAR
New York Jets at Oakland Raiders - NYJ
Atlanta Falcons at Dallas Cowboys - COWS
Chicago Bears at Cincinnati Bengals - BEARSZ
New Orleans Saints at Miami Dolphins - NO
Arizona Cardinals at New York Giants - NYG
Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins - PHI

RICK REILLY
What Do I Know?

tbh i could probably write this essay for rick myself

in one word

and that word

is

"nothing"

the guy is such a jagoff

SIX is easier than Marino? search is weird

That quotation mark touching Marino in the thread title is what fucks the search.

There really aren't very many guys I loathe more than Rick Reilly.

Green Bay Packers at Cleveland Browns - Packers
San Diego Chargers at Kansas City Chiefs - Chargers, but boy would I love to see the Chiefs pull off a win.
Indianapolis Colts at St. Louis Rams - Colts
Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers - Stillers. Please cream Favre?
New England Patriots at Tampa Bay Bucs - Pats.
San Francisco 49ers at Houston Texans - Texans
Buffalo Bills at Carolina Panthers - Panthers
New York Jets at Oakland Raiders - Raidahs
Atlanta Falcons at Dallas Cowboys - Falcons. God please beat them at Jerryworld. Besides they're playing like crap, they deserve to be beaten at home after that horrible showing against the Chefs.
Chicago Bears at Cincinnati Bengals - Da Bears.
New Orleans Saints at Miami Dolphins - Saints
Arizona Cardinals at New York Giants - Your New York Football Giants.
Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins - Iggles.

8-6 last week, 62-28 on the season.

Green Bay Packers* at Cleveland Browns - eric mangini is the worst coach on the face of the planet. i think at halftime his own players will murder him.
San Diego Chargers* at Kansas City Chiefs - i actually thought about this one for a second. i still wouldn't be surprised at a KC upset.
Indianapolis Colts* at St. Louis Rams - this will get ugly
Minnesota Vikings* at Pittsburgh Steelers - gonna stick with the vikings for now, they're looking really good.
New England Patriots* at Tampa Bay Bucs - this will also get ugly
San Francisco 49ers at Houston Texans* - don't think the niners' D can stop the texans' O
Buffalo Bills at Carolina Panthers* - i would love to see the bills win. i think it will take a lot of work, though, mostly from jake delhomme.
New York Jets* at Oakland Raiders - i just don't see oakland winning this one.
Atlanta Falcons* at Dallas Cowboys - the cowboys will get destroyed (i hope)
Chicago Bears* at Cincinnati Bengals - the bears will win this one, but it might be closer than i think it will be.
New Orleans Saints* at Miami Dolphins - miami might play new orleans a little tough! but i don't think they can win.
Arizona Cardinals at New York Giants* - if the cards were playing at home, they might have a better shot.
Philadelphia Eagles* at Washington Redskins - unless mcnabb begins the kneeldown to end the game and on the third kneeldown, kneels down in the end zone which results in a redskins victory via safety, i don't think this will go in washington's favor.

Buffalo Bills at Carolina Panthers* - i would love to see the bills win. i think it will take a lot of work, though, mostly from jake delhomme.

Have faith! Buffalo has 7 picks and 118 passing yards allowed in their last two.

(i meant faith in Jake obv - dude could throw a lot of TDs on sunday!)

DC United sends Ochocinco a personalized #85 jersey, Ochocinco posts to twitter about it

"Chad Ochocinco has been signed to a short-term contract for D.C. United and will be suiting up to play forward this weekend against Kansas City," a team spokesman said, when I asked about the image.

i just want you all to think about how bad each of these 11 teams is, btw

Panthers
Seahawks
Bills
Raiders
Lions
Redskins
Chiefs
Browns
Titans
Buccaneers
Rams

the breakdowns of their wins, if any

Panthers (they beat washington and tampa)
Seahawks (they beat st louis and jacksonville(!)) <---2nd best team on this list for actually having defeated a bad team not quite bad enough to make the list
Bills (they beat tampa and the jets!) <---jets are maybe going to be bad enough to make the list
Raiders (they beat KC and philly(!!)) <---maybe the best team on this list because they beat philly???
Lions (they beat washington)
Redskins (they beat st louis and tampa)
Chiefs (they beat washington)
Browns (they beat buffalo
Titans (zero wins)
Buccaneers (zero wins)
Rams (zero wins)

http://www.footblog.com/images/jeff_reed_krtphotoslive340928-SPORTS-FBN-SUPE.jpg

holy lolz I know it's been said already but GIS "Jeff Reed" and prepare for roffles

so buffalo can climb to top of list with win over panthers?

my bottom 11 power rankings would be

1) Raiders
2) Seahawks
3) Panthers
4) Bills
5) Chiefs
6) Redskins
7) Lions
8) Titans
9) Buccaneers
10)Browns
11)Rams

i realize the browns have technically won a game but i still have to rank them behind two winless teams. and the fact that the team they defeated--the bills--subsequently defeated the jets means that it was just some awful fluke.

jeff reed is aging very quickly

browns have the raiders, chiefs and lions left so your power rankings will get a test

The Raiders have two wins, and almost beat the Chargers. I know they're fucked, but they deserve a reprieve.

Oh I see now that these are not ordered from worst to best.

maybe they'll escape the elite 11 in favor of a team like the jaguars or the jets.

browns also play the jags. theoretically with this schedule they should be in contention for a wild card spot

maybe they can get into the bcs this year

http://rlv.zcache.com/powerbottom_tshirt-p235214030882589430t5tr_400.jpg

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4580433

ok the 30 for 30 about the usfl is full of lols

from the bit on the san antonio gunslingers:

the promo for their inaugural game featured a bunch of davy crockett lookalikes firing real guns in the air.

the players had a little trouble getting paid, and when the owner told them there were checks for them La Vernia, Texas, they literally had a car race there because they figured only about half the checks would clear.

Steve Young's mom: "It's an annuity!"

that was great!

Okay, now I'm angry that the USFL doesn't still exist today. I only have vague memories of it at the time because Birmingham, AL had its own franchise, but I can't recall actually seeing any games on tv or anything. Looked like it was a blast, though.

Fuckin' Trump.

that was the best one yet.

steve young: "i never met anyone from the usfl who wasn't proud to have played in it."

hilarious random offensive lineman from the tampa bay team: "it was more than cool. it was.....pretty awesome."

why couldn't spring football still exist?? any league that had young, kelly, herschel walker, reggie white, and no celebration penalties could NOT have been bad.

If the UFL moved to the spring, got non-embarrassing uniforms, and could actually grab players out of college via draft, it could hang around for awhile. I know I'd watch, because my post-Super Bowl depression lasts for weeks.

i have screenings for my film class 6:30-9 on tuesdays so i can never watch 30 for 30 >:(

re-airing at 11 e.t. on espn 2 iirc

you've been rick riled

― brownie, Tuesday, October 20, 2009 12:12 PM (9 hours ago)

lol

from LJ's bio:

"To Relax – painting, tv, music, movies, travel"

I'm picturing LJ mixing colors on a pallette while standing in front of a blank canvas, wearing a smock made out of an old dress shirt that once belonged to his dad.

This game sucks.

eh, i'll take it

hey all! sorry about that i didn't think jason would drop the football or whatever! i'll try to do better this quarter

you're doing great sherm!

daria can u teach the redskins some audibles before next week?

that was the best part of the second half undoubtedly

i would def get high with jon gruden and listen to him theorize about nothing

oh, most def! what do you want to audible about? i was thinking we should discuss lunch break?

we could also take a time out and think about stuff for a while.

well since according to clinton the redskins are unfamiliar with the basic concept, i'd say yeah you could audible about like what time you're meeting up to get the bus to the airport for the next road game or whatever

i would def get high with jon gruden and listen to him theorize about nothing

― a goon boy (J0rdan S.), Monday, October 26, 2009 11:20 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

also yeah i generally turn down weed these days but this would rock

60 stretch far-laaaaaaaaaa

i hate the stuff, but for gruden i'd make an exception

i'm glad that we all agree

they are not going to jump offside wtf

did that actually just happen

uhhh

and that. summarizes. the washington. redskins.

That's heartbreaking, and I'm a Philly guy.

that is as close as a national play by play man will get to speechless btw

Figures that the Redskins and wet noodle Eagles would ruin MNF's awesome streak.

sorry yall i tried to audible some stuff but that one sherm overruled it or something? i'm not really sure what happened but yeah.

well i assume you didn't cause the snap to no one so

i hope browns and bills fans are watching this game tonight

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/795/20061209010927youarenot.jpg

wait what happened?

ok guys, i had a couple glasses of stout before the second half right, but i figured i could still call plays ok. remember, it's not the playcalling, it's the execution.

Considering how bad the Redskins probably are, this is kinda embarrassing for the Iggles.

i would love to see the redskins players rally around their new bingo caller of an offensive coordinator by shouting one by one "I AM SHERM!" - "NO, I AM SHERM!" etc

i didn't watch eagles/raiders last week but it's entirely possible that the eagles are still in that funk

what a terrible game

every year the nfc east brings secret lols to other football fans everywhere

yeah and we def has some impending romo lols in store

i feel bad for campbell, i want him to do well

jaws: "still got a little life"

and INSTANTLY campbell is wrecked on the sack

I didn't realize Cooley went out earlier. My fave Redskins player :(

sadly all that's left for dude is a nice little 3-year run in his mid 30s where he wins a playoff game or two

i feel bad for campbell, i want him to do well

― a goon boy (J0rdan S.), Monday, October 26, 2009 11:34 PM (41 seconds ago)

it's because he's black, isnt it http://images-partners-tbn.google.com/images?q=tbn:Jg38hzIDy-cibM:www.synthstuff.com/mt/archives/rush-limbaugh.jpg

kinda

OGOchoCinco I think my homeboy portis is mad,that was a good helmet toss,nice form n technique with the throw
21 minutes ago from MOTOBLUR

christ this droid phone ad is the most annoying shit ever

Matt Millen on Lesean Mccoy: "That boy can go too." When talking to Mcnabb about who was the Eagles' fastest runner.

That kid can go too.
That fella can go too.
That young man can go too.
That back can go too.

Matt Millen: "That boy can go too."

Larry Johnson - keepin' it classy.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=AkS9a8LR3Ggya_wRfXdK3OtDubYF?slug=cr-johnsontwitter102609&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

two weird things at the start of the monday night game that HD Tivo highlighted:
1) mosquito buzzes around mike tirico's face, lands on his forehead and sucks blood through chucky's opening comments, flies away.
2) turf POV of a redskin player vomiting just before kickoff on the sidelines

i want skins fans to yell "BINGO" after every blown play

guys i want to just point out something that is not getting a lot of attention, which is that the eagles managed to kind of fuck up "kneeling down" last night. there was one snap where mcnabb started wandering off and not quite kneeling where the o-line was waving him to kneel, then the delay of game, on kneeling. i didn't know what to say about that besides to yell at the tv, "WHY CAN'T YOU EVEN KNEEL RIGHT"

i noticed that but then got confused and figured it was my own fault for drinkin'

i was stone sober just fyi

sorry

i know, i know!