WE WILL UNLEASH HELL IN DECEMBER... BECAUSE WE HAVE TO. Week Thirteen 2009

New York Jets at Buffalo - BUF
Detroit at Cincinnati - CIN
Denver at Kansas City - DEN
St. Louis at Chicago - CHI
Houston at Jacksonville - JAC
New England at Miami - NE
New Orleans at Washington - NO
Oakland at Pittsburgh - PIT
Philadelphia at Atlanta - PHI
San Francisco at Seattle - SF
Tampa Bay at Carolina - TB
Tennessee at Indianapolis - IND
San Diego at Cleveland - SD
Dallas at New York Giants - DAL
Minnesota at Arizona - MIN
Baltimore at Green Bay - BAL

10-6 last week, 119-57 on the year

http://i45.tinypic.com/351fjip.gif

(create your own caption)

New York Jets at Buffalo - NYJ
Detroit at Cincinnati - CIN
Denver at Kansas City - DEN
St. Louis at Chicago - CHI
Houston at Jacksonville - HOU
New England at Miami - NE
New Orleans at Washington - NO
Oakland at Pittsburgh - PIT
Philadelphia at Atlanta - PHI
San Francisco at Seattle - SEA
Tampa Bay at Carolina - CAR
Tennessee at Indianapolis - IND
San Diego at Cleveland - SD
Dallas at New York Giants - NYG
Minnesota at Arizona - MIN
Baltimore at Green Bay - GB

13-3 on week (stay humble u_u), 118-57 on season

New York Jets at Buffalo - BUF
Detroit at Cincinnati - CIN
Denver at Kansas City - DEN
St. Louis at Chicago - CHI
Houston at Jacksonville - JAC
New England at Miami - NE
New Orleans at Washington - NO
Oakland at Pittsburgh - PIT
Philadelphia at Atlanta - PHI
San Francisco at Seattle - SF
Tampa Bay at Carolina - TB
Tennessee at Indianapolis - IND (Could be close tho)
San Diego at Cleveland - SD
Dallas at New York Giants - NYG (Not confident; I just think the Giants aren't as bad as their record says they are and Tony Homo has one more bed-shitting in him before the POs)
Minnesota at Arizona - MIN
Baltimore at Green Bay - BAL

bills
bengals
broncos
bears
texans
pats
saints
steelers
falcons
niners
panthers
colts
chargers
giants
vikings
ravens

12-4 last wk

New York Jets at Buffalo - as long as the bills dont give the ball to the jets as much as jake d, buffalo
Detroit at Cincinnati - cincy
Denver at Kansas City - broncos
St. Louis at Chicago - bears
Houston at Jacksonville - jags
New England at Miami - pats
New Orleans at Washington - saints
Oakland at Pittsburgh - steelers
Philadelphia at Atlanta - eagles
San Francisco at Seattle - 9ers
Tampa Bay at Carolina - tampa
Tennessee at Indianapolis - TITANS
San Diego at Cleveland - bolts
Dallas at New York Giants - dallas
Minnesota at Arizona - vikes
Baltimore at Green Bay - pack

Does the guy at 1:15 look a shitload like Jay Cutler or is it just me?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfCYZ3pks48

10-6 last week, 117-59 on the year

New York Jets at Buffalo*
Detroit at Cincinnati*
Denver* at Kansas City
St. Louis at Chicago* - i don't feel good about this pick
Houston* at Jacksonville
New England* at Miami
New Orleans* at Washington
Oakland at Pittsburgh*
Philadelphia* at Atlanta
San Francisco* at Seattle
Tampa Bay at Carolina*
Tennessee at Indianapolis*
San Diego* at Cleveland
Dallas at New York Giants*
Minnesota* at Arizona
Baltimore at Green Bay*

So Bobby Hebert does the post-game shows for a local New Orleans station and after the Pats game these are some of the choice quotes he let fly:
"I don't know if I can say this but that was a ASS WHOOPIN!"
"We done whipped the whole Northeast's ass beby!"
"Who in the hell can do anything in the AFC?"
"You just got punched in the frickin jaw!"
"You betta pack a lunch when you playin da Saints!"
"We goin outta space, we goin universe."
"Belli-check-yourself."
and my favorite:
"Go back home to the Northeast, you frickin garbage. You frickin garbage!"

This is radio, of course.

Tons of wild ass guesses this week.

Jets > Buf
Atl > Phi
Chi > StL
Cin > Det
Ind > TN (would love TN to win, but I don't see it happening)
Den > KC
NE > Miami, but seriously considering changing it. NE is SHIT on the road.
Pit > Oak
NO > Wash -- SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME
Car > TB
Jax > Hou -- might switch this
SD > Cle
Dal > NYG
SF > Sea
Minn > AZ
GB > Bal -- could kind of see Bal taking a lot of frustrations out on GB in this one though

13-3 last week; 125-51 season

Bobby Hebert rules.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWbGvDRyJow

news around tha league - shaun rogers on IR, brandon pettigrew on IR, brent celek signed to 6 year extension by eagles, jason elam fukkin CUT (YAAAAH) by the falcons, matt bryant signed by falcons, bears sign cato june (lol forgot he was even in the league - except i guess he wasnt, since he was just sittin raounnd waitin 4 bears 2 call), desean jackson out @ atl, chad ochocinco declares that he wants to be known as 'ochotron'

i love ochotron

RIP monday night jihad

hey farting irl - who was the kicker with the wow guild app?

Chris Cluwe on the Vikings

http://kotaku.com/5120697/vikings-punter-considers-changing-his-name-to-world-of-warcraft

" I kick the ball about 45 minutes a day. I play video games about five or six hours a day. But that's OK. I don't watch TV."

fyi dude, it's probably not a good idea to advertise how easy your job is compared to the shit most of your teammates do every day.

New York Jets at Buffalo – I don’t really know which of these clubs you can count on more. I’m wanting to lean to the Bills, but I have to think that the Jets will be able to run the ball against them. I’m taking the Jets, but I don’t feel that solid about it.
Detroit at Cincinnati – The Bengals should win, but while they are running the ball well, they make too many mistakes and are way too passive in the air game to easily put away cruddy teams. I think they should go to some more play action passing and try to put some of these clubs out.
Denver at Kansas City – Denver rolled the Giants, but going into KC has always been tough for people in that division. Broncos to win, but if they get upset, I wouldn’t be surprised.
St. Louis at Chicago – Good lord the Bears better win this one. Urlacher in that one article posted on the thread last week was “why aren’t we trying to run the ball and just p with with good defense”. Hello, Chicago cannot do either one that is why.
Houston at Jacksonville - I really think the Texans are a better team, but the Jags are playing to go somewhere in January (even though they really are not a contender). Jags it is.
New England at Miami – The Pats should win, but I think they should be stepped down a bit from elite club status.
New Orleans at Washington—Saints have played down to some lesser competition, but you pretty much have to take them to win right now, as that was a mighty asswhupping they put on NE.
Oakland at Pittsburgh – Dixon looked OK in his start. I don’t know who is going to be QB, but the Steelers should be OK to win.
Philadelphia at Atlanta – Philly should win, but you never know week to week how good they are going to play.
San Francisco at Seattle – Who knows…I guess Seahawks at home.
Tampa Bay at Carolina – Panthers stink but I think Tampa is one of the worse messes. Carolina to win.
Tennessee at Indianapolis – I keep picking the Colts to lose and they keep winning. Colts have been kind of immune to the running QB clubs like the Titans with Young and Falcons with Vick. Titans used to have the Colts number, but other than last year, they haven’t had much success in the past few years. What the heck…I’ll take the Titans as I keep picking them and they keep winning.
San Diego at Cleveland – Chargers should win, but Cleveland has played a bit better of late.
Dallas at New York Giants – In my mind, I want to take the Giants but they are pretty flat. I’m going to take Dallas, but you can’t count on them for much. Who knows.
Minnesota at Arizona – Vikings are to win until proven wrong. I could see the Cards giving them a good game, especially if Warner is back.
Baltimore at Green Bay – This is an interesting matchup, but I have to think the Ravens will sack Rogers a bunch and win the game.

10-6 last week, as my upsets didn't really hook. 120-56 for the year.

good marques colston article

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/columns/story?page=hotread12/Marques%20Colston

Jamal Lewis is done: http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=ap-browns-lewis&prov=ap&type=lgns
I watched dude's record season with real interest; he'll be missed.

The Colts are toast. How can they continue to win without Sorgi?

"Jim Sorgi is being bothered by a right shoulder injury and hasn't practiced in a couple of weeks. I won't be surprised if the Colts place Sorgi on the season-ending injured reserve list."

http://blogs.indystar.com/coltsinsider/archives/2009/12/resting-players.html

http://deadspin.com/assets/resources/2007/02/sorgimaytag.jpg

that clipboard ain't gonna hold itself

New York Jets at Buffalo - bills looking fiesty
Detroit at Cincinnati - bengals
Denver at Kansas City - broncos
St. Louis at Chicago - yikes, bears
Houston at Jacksonville - texans
New England at Miami - pats
New Orleans at Washington - nola
Oakland at Pittsburgh - stillers
Philadelphia at Atlanta - eagles
San Francisco at Seattle - hawks
Tampa Bay at Carolina - no idea. panthers i guess
Tennessee at Indianapolis - titans
San Diego at Cleveland - bolts
Dallas at New York Giants - COWBOYS MAGIC
Minnesota at Arizona - vikes
Baltimore at Green Bay - pack

13-3 last week, 122-54 overall

the ruskell era is ending in seattle - he's resigning as team president today

speaking of colston, hofstra cut their football program

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4709412

goddamn britishes thread confused me at first:

football cliches that drive you mad

fuck toronto

<3 t.o. in his fur earflap hat, though

i love deion sanders, too

okay matt millen is doing a kind of okay job of color on this game

jane seymour's open hearts jewelry collection at kay jewellers is the ugliest jewelry i have ever seen

that thing looks like the snake monsters from legend of zelda

http://www.zeldawiki.org/images/6/6d/RopeLoZ.png

yeah it's awful though. i had to go look it up wondering how bad it could be, and.. it's bad

sure glad i'm watching bills-jets. it seems like every week there is a bills-jets game, actually.

i am amazed anyone besides me is watching it!

god this game really is still going isn't it?

wow braylon edwards better not show his face in new york this week

it is. bills-jets nfl groundhog day. this is the game that never ends, it just goes on and on

Braylon Edwards should not be allowed to claim that he is going to have a big game anymore. I mean Ochocinco is going out there and delivering on his promises week after week, and Braylon Edwards is like "watch out y'all" and then gets hit in the face with a football.

*Note: Not every week.

http://i34.tinypic.com/33wm5ac.gif

welp

this will be a wondrous week, i can feel it

http://www.vandreem.com/molli-welp-2.jpg

that braylon .gif is the greatest thing i have ever seen. LOL JETS FANS NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!!!

BEAST MODE

marshaaaaaaaaaaaawn lynch

http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/867/6203115fap7.jpg

hey, not dropped

FLAG

wait, is this up to date?

Most Yards Penalized, Game
212 Tennessee vs. Baltimore, Oct. 10, 1999
209 Cleveland vs. Chi. Bears, Nov. 25, 1951
191 Philadelphia vs. Seattle, Dec. 13, 1992 (OT)

"but first...the flag"

305!

That box is most yards by one team. The 300+ are both teams combined.

why was there a graphic with SHIRTS?

Most Yards Penalized, Both Teams, Game
374 Cleveland (209) vs. Chi. Bears (165), Nov. 25, 1951
310 Tampa Bay (190) vs. Seattle (120), Oct. 17, 1976
309 Green Bay (184) vs. Boston (125), Oct. 21, 1945

because even when the offensive lineman were wearing long sleeves, sterling sharpe stuck w/short sleeves

TO STERLING SHARPE

xp cause if it was pants michael tirico would puke

JUST THROW DEEP FLACCO WTF

That Browns-Bears game seems like it might have been more horrible to watch than this one.

I think it's apparent that Flacco needs to have more fun.

are you guys talking about sterling sharpe? i know sterling sharpe!

someone excessively celebrate or something, to get this in the record books

ravens clearly don't care anymore, chuckie

Joe Flacco is wearing a shirt, btw.

this game became lame again really quickly.

YES

EXCEPT FLAGS

YES! 310! #3 all time!!!!

310!!!

"THIS IS LIKE THE LABOR DAY JERRY LEWIS TELETHON!"

"we have hit one of the loweest points in modern football"

OMFG

Sorry Tied for #2!!!!

"we have hit one of the lowest points in modern football."

i love how tirico is getting all irate!

ha and gruden's new boots!

65 yard pass interference call why can't you happen somehow?

lolll tirico is such a hero

FLAG FLAG FLAG FLAG FLAG FLAG FLAG FLAG FLAG PLEASE FLAG!

excessively celebrate or something! C MON MAN

oh hey it's that guy, chet manning or whoever that guy was

Tirico apologized for this game in like the 1st quarter, and it got to the point of "Intercepted! That was awful!" which honestly kind of puts Tirico at #2 or 3 on my favorite PBP guy list behind Gus Johnson and Dick Enberg.

WEEK 14: We have hit one of the lowest points in modern football.

Thank god, it is over, let us never speak of this again.

oh my god fuck this, more flags

yes daria start it

"We have hit 1 of the low points in modern football AND i bought new boots with jon gruden"

that was genuinely one of the most inept football games i've seen in a while, and i HAD to watch the mangini-favre jets keep in mind, thanks to stupid nfl bylaws.

http://i42.tinypic.com/zu2uk9.jpg

i have a feeling harbaugh may say something quoteworthy in a post game conf

SHIRTS!

<------ SHIRTS ------>

steve young is just screaming so loud that there is feedback into his mic now.

I tuned in for the 4th quarter...

The Ravens didn't even seem to be trying the last time they got the ball back. No fire at all in them, just going through the motions. Pretty lame.

i'd love to see a booth that was young, gruden, and jaws. it'd sound like a fucking motorhead concert by the end of the night.

I think after a certain point in this game everybody gave up and just wanted it to be over.

i like those yellow foam stick things the packers fans are waving, it looks like the stadium is full of giant french fries.

of all the people on the postgame you can choose to heckle, you attack steve young? and matt millen then gangs up on him? if i was steve young, i'd be yelling "0-16" right about now, at matt millen, because who are you!

motherfucker

although to be fair, the booth team did a damn good job with this hot mess

It is the best Monday night team in decades and probably the best pro team ESPN has had. Gruden is really good and definitely knows his stuff, Jaws knows his stuff for a TV announcer and was a good player and Tirico doesn't have to say dumb stuff to keep Kornheiser happy now and is pretty good calling a game. There definitely seems to be some natural chemistry with the team.

They are a little over-perky and over-shouty but otherwise I love them.