Quality Sucks: 2011 Bizarro Fantasy Football Thread

I've set up an ESPN league for those who want to try a system that rewards shitty play. We tried this before in Yahoo, but ESPN allows for greater flexibility in scoring. The settings are still up for debate, but I think I have them at a good starting point, and hopefully we can refine them before the draft date (which I have tentatively set for Sept. 3).

Send me your email address through WebMail and I will invite ya.

it's really more fun to root for fumbles and ints than tds

yeah count me in

my fantasy football team this year is the "Cam Newton Allstars", kinda feeling that name could take an unironic tone here

haha

Here are the tentative stats. Changes open for debate:

Passing

Every 25 passing yards (PY25) -1
Each Pass Completed (PC) -2
Each Incomplete Pass (INC) 4
TD Pass (PTD) -4
Interceptions Thrown (INT) 4
2pt Passing Conversion (2PC) -2
Sacked (SK) 2

Rushing

Every 10 rushing yards (RY10) -16
Rushing Attempts (RA) 6
TD Rush (RTD) -16
2pt Rushing Conversion (2PR) -4

Receiving

Receiving Target (RET) 8
Every 10 receiving yards (REY10) -10
Each reception (REC) -2
TD Reception (RETD) -10
2pt Receiving Conversion (2PRE) -4

Kicking

Each PAT Missed (PATM) 20
FG Missed (0-39 yards) (FGM0) 20
FG Missed (40-49 yards) (FGM40) 15
FG Missed (50+ yards) (FGM50) 10

Team Defense / Special Teams

Points Allowed (PA) 0.1
Yards Allowed (YA) 0.04
Each Sack (SK) -2
Each Interception (INT) -4
Each Fumble Recovered (FR) -2
Each Fumble Forced (FF) -2
Each Safety (SF) -2

Interception Return TD (INTTD) -3
Fumble Return TD (FRTD) -3
Kickoff Return TD (KRTD) -3
Punt Return TD (PRTD) -3
Blocked Punt or FG return for TD (BLKKRTD) -3
Blocked Punt, PAT or FG (BLKK) -1

Miscellaneous
Kickoff Return TD (KRTD) -6
Punt Return TD (PRTD) -6
Fumble Recovered for TD (FTD) -6
Total Fumbles Lost (FUML) 2

hmm that math is def more interesting this time

I'm trying to visualize how it'd work out

I think the td/int points should mirror image a more traditional scoring = -2/+6

poly, i'm so happy about this

so it's 4 points for tossing an INT, but missing a PAT is 20? and recievers are worth 8 points per target? I'm not understanding this

I am juking the stats as much as possible with the goal of having the "best" QB/WR/RB worth around 350 points for a full season, and with a decent K/DEF worth around 100-150. The kicking stats definitely need to be messed around with; I'm open to ideas.

ok, so you're trying to give points for recievers who get targeted a lot but don't move the football much, I can understand that

missed FGs seem like they're a bit much. 20 points for anything is pretty high. I'd make things like INTs worth way more. Turnovers are the hallmark of "bad players" and they should be worth a bunch.

The stats as of right now are placeholders. Please help me make them make sense. The thing I want to ensure is that an average terrible QB, WR, and RB is roughly worth the same amount, which is why so many of the stats are different by position.

Okay, how about this for kickers?

Each PAT Made (PAT) -1
Each PAT Attempted (PATA) 1
Each PAT Missed (PATM) 10

Total FG Made (FG) -3
Total FG Attempted (FGA) 3
Total FG Missed (FGM) 10

FG Missed (0-39 yards) (FGM0) 5
FG Missed (40-49 yards) (FGM40) 3
FG Missed (50+ yards) (FGM50) 1

High: Graham Gano, 180 points
20th best: John Kasey, 62 points

yeah I like that much better

How about this for defense:

Yards Allowed (YA) 0.03

0 points allowed (PA0) -14
1-6 points allowed (PA1) -7
14-17 points allowed (PA14) 3
18-21 points allowed (PA18) 3
22-27 points allowed (PA22) 7
28-34 points allowed (PA28) 7
35-45 points allowed (PA35) 14
46+ points allowed (PA46) 14

Each Sack (SK) -2
Each Interception (INT) -2
Each Fumble Recovered (FR) -1
Each Fumble Forced (FF) -1

Interception Return TD (INTTD) -3
Fumble Return TD (FRTD) -3
Kickoff Return TD (KRTD) -3
Punt Return TD (PRTD) -3

Each Safety (SF) -5

High: Broncos, 226pts
20th: Titans, 78.5pts

I balanced the WR/RB stats so they are more equal in spirit:

Every 10 rushing/receiving yards (RY10) -7
Rush or receiving TD - 7

Rushing Attempt (RA) 3

Receiving Target (RET) 7
Reception (REC) -2

2pt Conversion (2PR) -2
100-199 yard game (RY100) -5
200+ yard game (RY200) -10
40+ yard TD bonus (RTD40) -3

Top 10:
C Benson (284)
J Cotchery
S Smith (Car)
L Tomlinson
J Best
C Williams
L Robinson
C Taylor
S Jackson
L Fitzgerald (223)

New QB stats:

Every 20 passing yards (PY20) -1.5
Each Pass Completed (PC) -1.5
Each Incomplete Pass (INC) 3

TD Pass (PTD) 7
Interceptions Thrown (INT) 4
Sacked (SK) 3

300-399 yard passing game (P300) -5
400+ yard passing game (P400) -10

Ranks:
Best: Cutler, 299
10th: Fitzpatrick, 224
20th: Campbell, 166

wait, why are TDs +7

missed FGs seem like they're a bit much. 20 points for anything is pretty high. I'd make things like INTs worth way more. Turnovers are the hallmark of "bad players" and they should be worth a bunch.

totally w/ froggie on this, but I don't know that's affecting the 2010 leaderboard you're looking at

w/r/t turnovers

Good catch, Jordan. How about this:

Every 20 passing yards (PY20) -2
Each Incomplete Pass (INC) 2.5
TD Pass (PTD) -7
40+ yard TD pass bonus (PTD40) -5
Interceptions Thrown (INT) 4
2pt Passing Conversion (2PC) -2
300-399 yard passing game (P300) -5
400+ yard passing game (P400) -10
Sacked (SK) 4

Results
1. Jimmy Clausen 389
5. Mark Sanchez 277
10. Carson Palmer 223
20. Matt Cassel 136

that seems about right

it's too bad that neither christian ponder nor jake locker is gonna start the year off

altho i guess we have andy dalton? i have no idea what's going on in cincy actually

I still think int needs to be higher

one 40 yard td makes up for 3 ints?

well, no

it would make up for one INT

TD Pass (PTD) -7
40+ yard TD pass bonus (PTD40) -5
= -12

oh, true

TDs & INTs equal?

w/r/t turnovers

See, the problem is finding a set of numbers that has evenly-distributed scores, where the top guys are in the 400-250 range but you can still get *some* points if you draft someone later. I might be overthinking this but whatev.

important to remember that the top scorers from last year are contextual, cause most of the 'best qbs' would get benched

TDs & INTs equal?

QBs pile up a lot of TDs, so you have to weigh them less than you would for a running back. But that still leads to a big negative score, so you need to score INT/sacks a little heavier than you might prefer to make it work.

important to remember that the top scorers from last year are contextual, cause most of the 'best qbs' would get benched

Yeah, you don't get points in this league for sitting on the bench, or for blocking.

ints/sacks heavy is great!

is there a way to look at average points per game? prolly not

if there were clausen prob shouldn't be on top

Wait, those last results are actually with:

-7 TD
4 INT, 4 Sack

if there were clausen prob shouldn't be on top

This is a great point. I'm not weighing completions heavily enough, so it's overrating guys who have bad TD/INT splits even if they didn't play that much. I need to skew it more towards incompletions.

Okay, what about this. I tried to strip out all the ratios to make it as simple as possible:

Each Pass Completed (PC) -0.3
Each Incomplete Pass (INC) 1.5
TD Pass (PTD) -7
Interceptions Thrown (INT) 5
300-399 yard passing game (P300) -2
400+ yard passing game (P400) -5
Sacked (SK) 1.5

This drops Clausen a bit down the leaderboard (although he's still pretty high tbh, dude was garbage), but emphasizes counting stats and simplicity.

I like having INTs worth more; you basically need to weight things so that bad players are almost always worth positive points. Looking at some of those stats initially my instinct was that you can win a week by just not playing anyone though obviously I base this on absolutely nothing.

Defensive scores seem a little weird, I would think a defense giving up 46+ points would be huge for your team. Should make that more since it's so rare, and such a hallmark of a shit performance to give up that many points.

i agree tho 46+ points given up -just by the defense- is pretty rare. but it should be rewarded.

I'd love to get either 2 or 4 more teams up in this thing! More people, please.

I would say not to push it past 10 tho

it's hard to have more than 10 legit qb's in this game

Honestly, I'm not sure who I'd even pick there. You have to evaluate players in terms of "downside". Like Donny McNabb has plenty of downside, but you have to wonder how long his leash is. This is going to be tough.

Handcuffing is just as important in this league as it is in a real league. Actually it's probably MORE important, because the backup is almost always going to be even worse/better than the starter!

You have to predict who's going to be the JaMarcus Russell or Derek Anderson this year (terrible starter with oddly long leash). Cam Newton seems like a good bet since his backups are Jimmy Clausen and Derek Anderson (as it turns out)

bad D's are possibly first round picks

Trying to figure out what I will call "the Laurent Robinson problem" but can't figure it out. I think there are just going to be some guys with overinflated value despite limited play time. At least it'll be hard to figure out who they'll be from week to week.

more teamz plz

i'd love to join the league, but my fucking invite won't work. fuck a duck.

i'd like to get in on this if possible, amazing idea

By all means.

Snrub, I just tried re-inviting. If that doesn't work, maybe a different email address?

thanks! send me a webmail if we need invites or just to c w smith @ gmail w/o spaces obv

oh yeah email me

jordanmsargent at gmail

I'm in. Thanks! This'll be fun.

We will need at least one more team after Clay accepts his invite in order to have a balanced schedule.

yeah i'm in now.

i have basically zero idea of how to go about researching for a draft like this.

Just pick the guys you think are going to be shitty but won't get benched. No need to overthink it.

Still short one team, assuming Jordan accepts his invite at some point.

yeah, i will, sorry

When do you guys want to draft?

bump

no real preferences

I'll just leave it as-is then. We still need another person and for Jordan to accept his invite. :) Or we can have a six team league without Jordan.

I'm not an ILNFL regla but if you can't find one, I'll do it.

Send me your email

registered for this

whoop whooop

Question: Any interest in having this be an auction draft, just to make it as weird as possible?

sounds goofy enough to me

I fucked up: didn't look at the draft date for this until now and assumed it would be either before or after Memorial Day weekend. Will set up 'autopick' but can't make Sept. 3.

yeah i think i might have to autopick this one too, unfortunately

I am open to moving the date if it helps. Autodrafting this league would be insane.

haha yeah

The draft begins in 45 minutes, fyi!

oh shit, good thing you said that

4 mofos need to show up

Teams who didn't show up for the draft: there are *plenty* of shitty players left.

oh shit

Well I certainly had 3pm PST written into my calendar!

got stuck w/ rodgers & jennings starts this week, but i dropped everyone else

was happy to get collins & whitehurst, mcgahee, daniel thomas, chester taylor, marion barber are all p good pick ups imo

WR is a bit more shaky, picked up garcon & mccluster. feel okay about golden tate.

Nice haul. I need to set my lineup.

sort of forgot about this and panicked to set my lineup before discovering I have a bye this week. really not too sure how this team will shake out but at least I get a week to see how scoring will even work. Mostly doing this to be a part of the weirdness anyways.

hmmm

-44 points...

-73.5 coming from steve smith

I have no idea what is going on with the scoring at all. Oh well, I tried!

What's the matter with it? I crushed last week, no complaints here.

I don't know. I stopped paying attention almost immediately. I am a terrible admin.