UNICORNS! SHOW PONIES! WHERE'S THE BEEF! • NFL Week 7 2013

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Seattle Seahawks @ Arizona Cardinals
Tampa Bay Bucs @ Atlanta Falcons
Cincinnati Bengals @ Detroit Lions
Houston Texans @ Kansas City Chiefs
Buffalo Bills @ Miami Dolphins
New England Patriots @ New York Jets
Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles
Chicago Bears @ Washington Hatcats
St. Louis Rams @ Carolina Panthers
San Diego Chargers @ Jacksonville Jaguars
San Francisco 49ers @ Tennessee Titans
Cleveland Browns @ Green Bay Packers
Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers
Denver Broncos @ Indianapolis Colts
Minnesota Vikings @ New York Giants

please welcome your Week 6 thread sponsor and new buffalo bills quarterback...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BWjqo6RIIAAA3BX.jpg

I hope he's taking the job on spec

That would be funny for someone to go up and post the Bills or Browns QB job on Monster or Career Builder!

"TEMP TO HIRE!" It would be just like a good chunk of the rest of a America.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/broncos-perfect-season-ends-with-humiliating-win-o,34222/

While speaking to members of the media following yesterday’s practice, several Broncos players reportedly took time to reflect on their perfect season ending with Sunday’s humiliating 35-19 win over the Jacksonville Jaguars. “I think we stopped taking games one at a time, got caught looking ahead, and ultimately we paid the price,” said Broncos wide receiver Wes Welker, referring to their embarrassing 16-point win over the last-place Jaguars in which the Broncos only managed to score four touchdowns heading into the fourth quarter...

At press time, sources confirmed Jaguars players continued to celebrate their sixth straight moral victory.

Ha! This one is just wrong but funny as hell.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/marcus-vick-likely-out-for-sunday-shift-at-sbarro,34169/

lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ1RU9ZucAM

josh freeman confirmed as vikings starter vs giants on mnf. i will be rooting so hard for minnesota when i check the score the next morning.

Last week 10-5, 63-29 so far this season

Seattle Seahawks @ Arizona Cardinals- AZ has played decent at points, but I got to think Seattle wins.
Tampa Bay Bucs @ Atlanta Falcons- Falcons ugly win.
Cincinnati Bengals @ Detroit Lions- Detroit has been better than expected, Bengals kinda scraping by at points. I'm taking Lions at home and hope Cincy proves me wrong.
Houston Texans @ Kansas City Chiefs- Houston is just too banged up, give me KC.
Buffalo Bills @ Miami Dolphins- Bills 3rd stringer played pretty good considering. I'll take the Dolphins but would believe a Bills upset could happen.
New England Patriots @ New York Jets- Pats. I'll be surprised if the Jets knock them off, it would have to include a couple of bad turnovers or a big return to happen I would think. NE is kinda off but this is the Jets offense seems like some pickup squad thing.
Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles- Pretty even matchup with Dallas' injuries. I'm going Eagles in a tight one to win.
Chicago Bears @ Washington Hatcats- Bears are no great shakes but Washington is just not that good. Bears to win.
St. Louis Rams @ Carolina Panthers- I can't figure these clubs, they play dumb and lose or just flat out bad then one week they beat someone to a pulp. I guess Carolina, but you can file these two clubs with the Titans as clubs I just can't figure.
San Diego Chargers @ Jacksonville Jaguars- Chargers should win but this is the kind of game they have lost over the last few years. I'd say SD to win, but a highly trappable road game.
San Francisco 49ers @ Tennessee Titans- Niners should win.
Cleveland Browns @ Green Bay Packers- Packers. Browns would be a pretty good club with a good QB.
Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers- Forget the records, it's Ravens and Steelers. The fans bathe themselves in blood and nacho cheese and everyone walks around like a warrior around the cubicle. I'm kind of feeling Steeler upset at home.
Denver Broncos @ Indianapolis Colts- Broncos are better and I think Denver can do exactly what SD did and just keep Luck off the field. One poster I saw on Yahoo said Andrew Luck's voice on the field making calls sounds like the killer's in Silence of the Lambs 'It puts on the lotion.' - I thought that was pretty funny and I get it.
Minnesota Vikings @ New York Giants- Wow...Giants at home.

it seems crazy to even think, but i feel like the ryan fitz titans have a good shot of beating the 49ers

yeah I'm generally anti-Viking but I really want them to win this one

"but i feel like the ryan fitz titans have a good shot of beating the 49ers"

It could happen. I really don't know how good the Titans are but they seem to have their moments.

http://deadspin.com/browns-sign-player-with-torn-acl-because-they-are-the-1446613694

oh browns

Case Keenum to save the Texans

This will end well.

It will either be genius or lunacy or perhaps lunatic genius. I'd figure rookie first game, first start on road in Arrowhead and the Chiefs linebackers have been hitting everything...yikes.

Arizona D-Line getting dominated

maybe next year, Cards

oh really?

yeah wow, we know what's happening with Carson tho

damn nice catch

http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/extra_points/post.jpg

HA

Never change NY Post.

RIP Bum Phillips

Football was just so much better when you had dudes that would wear a cowboy hat while being one.

http://qz.com/137216/fantex-arian-foster-how-an-nfl-running-back-is-out-smarting-investors/

Aw man bum Philips. Absolutely LOVED that guy. Oilers for those few years were the best thing ever

Ugh, the Patriots' defense is DOA

every 1st down and the TD was to kerley, so i have an idea how they might want to approach things on the next drive

GRONK

Nice to see that dude back. Stay healthy!

re pats defense, my expectations for the remainder of the season were set by bedard's piece at MMQB this weekend - on why the pats are yet again going to make the playoffs but aren't good enough to win a championship due to loss of too many key players to injury

"Rob Gronkowski not playing on the field-goal protection unit in his return to action."

ya think

btw i thought the "unicorns, show ponies" thing was not a non sequitur, it was a reference to stupid twitter comments by pats fans hating on brady all the way up to that last q4 drive?

Wow, just when I was lamenting the loss of Talib

the ol' false sense of security defense...

nice

did he do a marshawn lynch style jump into the end zone there

i love these booming squib kicks

spikes covering a wr. good plan.

How many more times are we going to see that play on 3rd down?

this eagles cowboys game has sucked

Finally a stop

WHAT THE SHITTING FFUCK DOLPHIN

wow rough day for whoever this left guard is on the cowboys

CUTLER pick six <3<3<3

shady can't get anything going

why did no other team want edelman?

oh hey, edelman
shifty

gif plz

jared allens hand is more powerful than elis whole being

i thought that article you posted in the eagles thread was a bunch of crap tbh, foles was a third round draft pick for a reason which is that he does not have star talent. nfl stats are hilariously antiquated to me, those dudes were trying to make an argument that foles was a better fit than vick on the basis of what, 70 snaps? no one understands football, it's a dumb sport for dumb people, put the most talent on the field imo

that article aside tho, it's still a pretty dramatic collapse over one week. it's not like he put up some gaudy numbers against a terrible defensive team and then disappeared when faced w/ a real defense. buccs defense was for real and his play in that game didn't seem like a fluke. in the cowboys game he held onto the ball longer, he made more inaccurate throws -- it's just a very weird turn in a very short period of time.

This game sucks!

i started watching the dimitri martin movie about woodstock

yeah man i don't know, sometimes a nobody goes and pitches a perfect game and then goes back to being mediocre, it just be like that sometimes. football is kind of prone to these kinds of disappointments because each game is such a large chunk of the season compared to other sports, a dude has a great game and people have 6 days to talk about it, then he goes back to being nick foles, schlub 3rd round pick and you're like oh it was one game maybe it was just a fluke

xxp

hes tripping in a van listening to love, not bad

these are some really fucking bad football teams

really amazed they're not benching Freeman

there have been 124 season ending injuries this season

another way to look at it is 124 jobs created

what is this

it's now so bad that it's compelling

punt return TD, dropped pick 6, fumbles inside the 15

You guys, this game is fucking terrible

I've only watched the third quarter and it's like I'm watching my neighbor's kids play football

Do you think Ponder is on the sideline cultivating a rage ulcer?

Freeman is having the worst game I've seen from a QB since Boller's one start with the Raiders

There's no way Joe Webb would be worse

Keep in mind, my neighbor's kids are toddlers

hillis every play

oh my god

Leslie Frazier must just not want anything to do Christian Ponder at ALL considering how long and awful Freeman has looked. It's like I don't care if I get fired, that Ponder guy's not playing.

ah why cant the vikings come back and win this it would be so funny

This is dire

can the league step in and trade Peterson and Allen

19/50 passing!

finishes 20/53

even gruden sounded super-bummed

"Do you think Ponder is on the sideline cultivating a rage ulcer?"

Ponder's got to at least be thinking, well I don't suck THAT bad and I wonder if Houston is nice.

lol vikes in primetime again next week

why arent all prime slots flexed, makes too much sense folks

i thought they could flex sunday games

iirc only later in the season

aren't the flex rules basically that the game you get is the best game of the day that is also on nbc, because the other networks will not waive their rights to their premier matchups? ppl were hoping that kc/denver might get flexed but i think it's on cbs, which nixed it.

whatever it is its dumb, they shd make it so everyone can see the sickest games of the week

the vikings will make you sick

true

doesn't it have to do with not screwing over ppl who paid like 200 dollars a pop for their family to go and took off of work months in advance? not that that's stopped the nfl before

https://twitter.com/Vikings/status/392712043800694784

I mean

Love you always, Jeff Garcia! Keep trying.

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/10/22/jeff-garcia-tells-the-browns-hes-available/

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/10/23/josh-freeman-has-a-concussion-vikings-may-turn-back-to-ponder/

this is fucking unbelievable....after next week's game: "Vikings Announce Ponder Has Lupus, Going Back To Matt Cassel"

vikings to give up on the position of quarterback, going with an all direct snaps to adrian peterson based offense for week 9

Jason Campbell starting for the Browns against KC.

I like Campbell, and I hope he comes out and throws 400 yards and 4 tds and shows why it's crazy he's been on the bench all season. I'm not sure this will happen, though.

quarterback is so much more important than all the rest of the positions, a cool outside of the box strategy might be to one year use all of your draft picks on quarterbacks and then prob one of them will be good

was talking possibly w/ cad recently about how pats have been drafting skill position players in batches: TEs one year, RBs the next, WRs the next. it seems to work!

"Vikings Announce Matt Cassel Has Severe Hangnails, Going With A Chihuaha Wearing A Party Hat"

jason campbell does seem to show up and put usually an average qb game in, which is not to be sniffed at. i think he looked at his worst in the few games he started for cleveland but at least he has a couple ppl to throw to know. basically, he if he starts he is going to give you a qb in like the 3rd quartile, which is a big leap for some teams!