American things

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"Sports bars" that actually don't care about sport, the term 'sports bar' now just means "we have hamburgers, hot dogs, Miller Lite, Bud lite, and there will be a few people in MAGA hats here"

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 15:59 (two years ago) link

case in point the one sports bar near me that has 30+ televisions, all randomly set to the same two or three sporting events that nobody is watching, and when you ask to change one of them, it is apparently a ritual on par with summoning the skullthrone of Satan, and you will get a look and the tv will eventually get changed 35 minutes later

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 16:00 (two years ago) link

the broiler performs a different function than the bottom heating elements. The bottom elements and the oven cavity (insulation, vents, fans, airflow) are designed to achieve a uniform cavity temperature for slowly cooking or baking. It might be easier or faster to achieve this with top and bottom heating elements, but then you lose the extra function of broiling, and Burger King thinks broiling is important.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 16:21 (two years ago) link

also, most american oven vessels are lidless. The most common one with a lid is labeled "Dutch", so that we can blame them for the extra washing. We could design a bottomless and therefore symmetric vessel, but then we'd create new problems due to the gravity over here. It's better to just put the heating elements on the bottom.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 16:26 (two years ago) link

I wonder how you keep a quiche crust from becoming charcoal while waiting for the custard to set with top heating elements. Do you cut a foil ring to protect the crust? Do you wear one around your neck to keep it handy?

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 16:31 (two years ago) link

simple - we don't eat quiche

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 16:41 (two years ago) link

I'm sorry, I meant egg pie. We eat egg pie here.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 16:58 (two years ago) link

the top element ime of modern ovens actually comprises two elements, only one of which switches on for normal baking. grill/broil switches them both on for maximum charrage.

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 19 April 2022 17:30 (two years ago) link

"Broiling"

Was Hitler a Hobbit? (Tom D.), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 17:45 (two years ago) link

i mean

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 19 April 2022 17:45 (two years ago) link

if you’re going to broil might as well go straight to a full-on broast

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 19 April 2022 17:46 (two years ago) link

the best broilers produce a uniformly high temperature over almost the entire oven cavity ceiling. 2 elements will likely undersample this desired temperature profile, and I reject the "modern" 2 element idea as an improvement and label it a scam.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 17:51 (two years ago) link

the oven is the anus of cooking

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 17:57 (two years ago) link

what is a fever if not your anus oven attempting to cook off an infection's source?

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 18:18 (two years ago) link

This conversation is strange to me because my oven doesn't have a top heating element. It has a bottom heating element (that heats the oven for baking and roasting).

The broiler is a drawer beneath the heating element. So when I want to get the top of something all crispalicious, that's where I put it.

Fifty Centaur (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 20:00 (two years ago) link

Is it a gas oven? I had a gas oven like that in my first apartment. It lacked a pilot light. I managed to avoid blowing myself up, although I did have at least one close call.

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 20:02 (two years ago) link

Gas oven, yes. Electric ovens are generally pretty bad because of the time they take to heat up and cool down - wasting ridic amounts of heat and energy in the process.

Also, where I live, pretty much every bar is a sports bar. If you go to a bar there are televisions, tuned to sporting events. Sometimes there is one tuned to news, but without sound or captions you have no idea what they're talking about.

It's just visual chewing gum and it's stupid, but it's what people seem to expect these days.

I play a lot of music in bars, and I have just come to accept that when people applaud, it's more likely that they're applauding a sporting accomplishment that took place on a television slightly above my head, rather than the music. I am at peace with this.

Fifty Centaur (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 20:07 (two years ago) link

Jesus, yes. Some of them have so many screens, you cannot escape seeing them, no matter where you sit or which direction you face. I find it as oppressive and overwhelming as a casino.

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 20:10 (two years ago) link

abruptly end your song whenever the home team scores.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 21:08 (two years ago) link

abruptly end your song and say "that should do it for us tonight" whenever the away team scores

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 21:12 (two years ago) link

“This conversation is strange to me because my oven doesn't have a top heating element”

it’s strange to me that you lack it, this is my point. re separate “broiler” drawer underneath the main cavity of the oven that uses that bottom heating element as.. the top! (ta da! broiling!) i mean.. talk about an inefficient use of space. that’s where i keep my baking tins etc

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 19 April 2022 22:26 (two years ago) link

imo it is most efficient to use the available oven space for heating shit up, i.e. doing oven things. we store our baking tins in the kitchen cabinet where all such things are stored. But Americans also do laundry in the laundry room.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 19 April 2022 22:59 (two years ago) link

the Flavor Pro

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52eQJ5QpfEg

beepy fridges (sic), Wednesday, 20 April 2022 05:22 (two years ago) link

innoculate your turkeys against blandness

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 20 April 2022 15:47 (two years ago) link

inject Pfizer'S THICK SAUCE

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 20 April 2022 15:48 (two years ago) link

Cause all I ever have
Redemption song

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 20 April 2022 18:22 (two years ago) link

case in point the one sports bar near me that has 30+ televisions, all randomly set to the same two or three sporting events that nobody is watching, and when you ask to change one of them, it is apparently a ritual on par with summoning the skullthrone of Satan, and you will get a look and the tv will eventually get changed 35 minutes later

I carry around a a TV-B-Gone for this very reason. I don't get a chance to use it much around here, but whenever I'm in NYC or some of the sports bar zones of LA I try to shut off as many TVs as possible.

Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 21 April 2022 05:23 (two years ago) link

Actually that Flavor Pro video brought one up. 'Tailgating' is a party in North America, as opposed to driving dangerously?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tailgating
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tailgate_party

Peter Greenaway's Fleetwood Mac (S-), Saturday, 23 April 2022 06:29 (two years ago) link

it's both, tbh

thinkmanship (sleeve), Saturday, 23 April 2022 06:33 (two years ago) link

Three fourths

gop on ya gingrich (wins), Saturday, 30 April 2022 11:23 (two years ago) link

The Firth of Quarter

peace, man, Sunday, 1 May 2022 22:48 (two years ago) link

they say "dove" for the past tense of "dive" & "shined" for the past tense of "shine"

the coming of prince kajagoogoo (doo rag), Sunday, 1 May 2022 23:46 (two years ago) link

Asking about the resort's tipping policy

Pre-Raphaelite Brah (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 12 May 2022 03:19 (two years ago) link

not using electric kettles

Roz, Thursday, 12 May 2022 03:49 (two years ago) link

i use one every day

aegis philbin (crüt), Thursday, 12 May 2022 04:13 (two years ago) link

At restaurants, disappearing with your credit card instead of bringing a handheld terminal directly to you.

DAMAGED by Black Flat (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 12 May 2022 05:56 (two years ago) link

“Is there a Starbucks nearby?”
“Sorry, no.”
[extremely disappointed sound]

Pre-Raphaelite Brah (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 15 May 2022 02:58 (two years ago) link

xp

I've been getting dramatically more handheld terminals in the last couple years

Muad'Doob (Moodles), Sunday, 15 May 2022 03:02 (two years ago) link

“Can I get an ice water?”

Pre-Raphaelite Brah (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 15 May 2022 03:10 (two years ago) link

these are excellent KBP

Tracer Hand, Sunday, 15 May 2022 09:47 (two years ago) link

Telling sunny the other day how I figured out The Sixth Sense spoiler because, wait, why are they taking a bus out to the suburbs?

pplains, Monday, 16 May 2022 12:46 (two years ago) link

these are excellent KBP

several hours in transit at an airport is a goldmine for this thread

Pre-Raphaelite Brah (King Boy Pato), Monday, 16 May 2022 12:52 (two years ago) link

yes yes it is

Tracer Hand, Monday, 16 May 2022 12:59 (two years ago) link

not using electric kettles

― Roz, Thursday, 12 May 2022 03:49 (four days ago) link

Never had an electric kettle until dating/marrying a non-American. Life-changing device, will never go back.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 16 May 2022 13:56 (two years ago) link

"But where will I plug in my VCR?"
*pulls cans of Dinty Moore beef stew out of camo cargo shorts*

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 16 May 2022 14:33 (two years ago) link

getting a bowl of chowder on a cold day

Pre-Raphaelite Brah (King Boy Pato), Friday, 20 May 2022 18:20 (two years ago) link

Is that much ice tea drunk? What does it consist of? (Long Island notwithstanding)

Peter Greenaway's Fleetwood Mac (S-), Wednesday, 25 May 2022 14:33 (two years ago) link

What does it consist of?

tea, ice. sometimes lemon. sometimes sugar.

i don't understand the question your honor

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Wednesday, 25 May 2022 15:30 (two years ago) link

Get yourself an Arnold Palmer for a real thirst quencher, son.

Pre-Raphaelite Brah (King Boy Pato), Friday, 27 May 2022 02:36 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Okay I had an Arizona brand iced tea today. This is what I'm talking about.

https://imgur.com/a/uQVDkO9

King Boy, thanks for the Arnold Palmer tip!

Bellend Sebastian (S-), Wednesday, 15 June 2022 13:10 (two years ago) link


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