American things

"Sports bars" that actually don't care about sport, the term 'sports bar' now just means "we have hamburgers, hot dogs, Miller Lite, Bud lite, and there will be a few people in MAGA hats here"

case in point the one sports bar near me that has 30+ televisions, all randomly set to the same two or three sporting events that nobody is watching, and when you ask to change one of them, it is apparently a ritual on par with summoning the skullthrone of Satan, and you will get a look and the tv will eventually get changed 35 minutes later

the broiler performs a different function than the bottom heating elements. The bottom elements and the oven cavity (insulation, vents, fans, airflow) are designed to achieve a uniform cavity temperature for slowly cooking or baking. It might be easier or faster to achieve this with top and bottom heating elements, but then you lose the extra function of broiling, and Burger King thinks broiling is important.

also, most american oven vessels are lidless. The most common one with a lid is labeled "Dutch", so that we can blame them for the extra washing. We could design a bottomless and therefore symmetric vessel, but then we'd create new problems due to the gravity over here. It's better to just put the heating elements on the bottom.

I wonder how you keep a quiche crust from becoming charcoal while waiting for the custard to set with top heating elements. Do you cut a foil ring to protect the crust? Do you wear one around your neck to keep it handy?

simple - we don't eat quiche

I'm sorry, I meant egg pie. We eat egg pie here.

the top element ime of modern ovens actually comprises two elements, only one of which switches on for normal baking. grill/broil switches them both on for maximum charrage.

"Broiling"

i mean

if you’re going to broil might as well go straight to a full-on broast

the best broilers produce a uniformly high temperature over almost the entire oven cavity ceiling. 2 elements will likely undersample this desired temperature profile, and I reject the "modern" 2 element idea as an improvement and label it a scam.

the oven is the anus of cooking

what is a fever if not your anus oven attempting to cook off an infection's source?

This conversation is strange to me because my oven doesn't have a top heating element. It has a bottom heating element (that heats the oven for baking and roasting).

The broiler is a drawer beneath the heating element. So when I want to get the top of something all crispalicious, that's where I put it.

Is it a gas oven? I had a gas oven like that in my first apartment. It lacked a pilot light. I managed to avoid blowing myself up, although I did have at least one close call.

Gas oven, yes. Electric ovens are generally pretty bad because of the time they take to heat up and cool down - wasting ridic amounts of heat and energy in the process.

Also, where I live, pretty much every bar is a sports bar. If you go to a bar there are televisions, tuned to sporting events. Sometimes there is one tuned to news, but without sound or captions you have no idea what they're talking about.

It's just visual chewing gum and it's stupid, but it's what people seem to expect these days.

I play a lot of music in bars, and I have just come to accept that when people applaud, it's more likely that they're applauding a sporting accomplishment that took place on a television slightly above my head, rather than the music. I am at peace with this.

Jesus, yes. Some of them have so many screens, you cannot escape seeing them, no matter where you sit or which direction you face. I find it as oppressive and overwhelming as a casino.

abruptly end your song whenever the home team scores.

abruptly end your song and say "that should do it for us tonight" whenever the away team scores

“This conversation is strange to me because my oven doesn't have a top heating element”

it’s strange to me that you lack it, this is my point. re separate “broiler” drawer underneath the main cavity of the oven that uses that bottom heating element as.. the top! (ta da! broiling!) i mean.. talk about an inefficient use of space. that’s where i keep my baking tins etc

imo it is most efficient to use the available oven space for heating shit up, i.e. doing oven things. we store our baking tins in the kitchen cabinet where all such things are stored. But Americans also do laundry in the laundry room.

the Flavor Pro

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52eQJ5QpfEg

innoculate your turkeys against blandness

inject Pfizer'S THICK SAUCE

Cause all I ever have
Redemption song

case in point the one sports bar near me that has 30+ televisions, all randomly set to the same two or three sporting events that nobody is watching, and when you ask to change one of them, it is apparently a ritual on par with summoning the skullthrone of Satan, and you will get a look and the tv will eventually get changed 35 minutes later

I carry around a a TV-B-Gone for this very reason. I don't get a chance to use it much around here, but whenever I'm in NYC or some of the sports bar zones of LA I try to shut off as many TVs as possible.

Actually that Flavor Pro video brought one up. 'Tailgating' is a party in North America, as opposed to driving dangerously?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tailgating
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tailgate_party

it's both, tbh

Three fourths

The Firth of Quarter

they say "dove" for the past tense of "dive" & "shined" for the past tense of "shine"

Asking about the resort's tipping policy

not using electric kettles

i use one every day

At restaurants, disappearing with your credit card instead of bringing a handheld terminal directly to you.

“Is there a Starbucks nearby?”
“Sorry, no.”
[extremely disappointed sound]

xp

I've been getting dramatically more handheld terminals in the last couple years

“Can I get an ice water?”

these are excellent KBP

Telling sunny the other day how I figured out The Sixth Sense spoiler because, wait, why are they taking a bus out to the suburbs?

these are excellent KBP

several hours in transit at an airport is a goldmine for this thread

yes yes it is

not using electric kettles

― Roz, Thursday, 12 May 2022 03:49 (four days ago) link

Never had an electric kettle until dating/marrying a non-American. Life-changing device, will never go back.

"But where will I plug in my VCR?"
*pulls cans of Dinty Moore beef stew out of camo cargo shorts*

getting a bowl of chowder on a cold day

Is that much ice tea drunk? What does it consist of? (Long Island notwithstanding)

What does it consist of?

tea, ice. sometimes lemon. sometimes sugar.

i don't understand the question your honor

Get yourself an Arnold Palmer for a real thirst quencher, son.

Okay I had an Arizona brand iced tea today. This is what I'm talking about.

https://imgur.com/a/uQVDkO9

King Boy, thanks for the Arnold Palmer tip!