Ask Dom Passantino

Q2: Dom, who's more likely to die of a heart attack first: you or Perpetua?

Q3: What other ILXors (besides KBP) deserve their own board?

Q4: Dom, remember that one time you had sexual intercourse? How much did you pay the girl?

Q5: Dom, why does your blog not work on my Mozilla Firefox?

Q6: Dom, did you read LJ's soon-to-be-infamous blogposts and want to kill yourself?

there's a new cat in town

link

Q7: Hey Fatman, when are you coming back to grace ILX with your wit (or lack of)?

And how many 2008 rap albums have you listened to, exactly?

There's 23 rap albums still in my iTunes with the year set to "2008", so I'd guess around 70?

hey dom--

i need some advice from a well-know combative blogger like you. i seem to have pissed about between 6-10 fervent craig ferguson fans by claiming on my blog that craig ferguson directed slumdog millionaire. seeing as these are the only 6-10 people who have ever read my blog, how i can i translate this interest into fame, fortune, a date with hollie ann brooks, etc?

here are the relevant links:

http://community.livejournal.com/craig_ferguson/322229.html

http://maxread.net/mindgrapes/movies/the-oscars-a-meditation-a-blog-by-max-read-dedicated-to-the-memory-of-heath-ledger-and-joaquim-phoenix/

thanks in advance,

max

lol u have a blog

^^^ closet craig ferguson fan

jokes bruv, it's not even wack

If you read the entire article, it's patently obvious this is one of those bloggers who is deeply in love with his own voice, and he believes he's being witty.

guilty as charged

It reminds me of people I knew at college who would use an English accent to impersonate someone, whether the person was English, Welsh, Scottish or Irish. If someone pointed out the true nationality, they always said "It's the same thing!"

oh boo hoo.

danny boyle is not scottish or irish.

my gf made me a gif to use as the new header for the page

http://i41.tinypic.com/vh6lpt.jpg

i thought it was funny, but sent to wife and this was her response:

i get its supposed to be funny
i guess might be funny if it was stand up
or if dane cook was saying it

brutal

if u cant take the heat, stay out of the blog kitchen

i believe im being witty

I'll get back to you on this later

hey dom--

i need some advice from a well-know combative blogger like you. i seem to have pissed about between 6-10 fervent craig ferguson fans by claiming on my blog that craig ferguson directed slumdog millionaire. seeing as these are the only 6-10 people who have ever read my blog, how i can i translate this interest into fame, fortune, a date with hollie ann brooks, etc?

here are the relevant links:

http://community.livejournal.com/craig_ferguson/322229.html

http://maxread.net/mindgrapes/movies/the-oscars-a-meditation-a-blog-by-max-read-dedicated-to-the-memory-of-heath-ledger-and-joaquim-phoenix/

thanks in advance,

max

― max, Tuesday, 24 February 2009 14:39 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

OK, you need to react fast. First up, you need to go with just a generic response post, something to the extent of "Hey, look at all those douchey guys from a Craig Ferguson Livejournal who are made at me, what a bunch of clowns." Try and discredit them with any bullshit, you don't need to dig far: just skim posts until someone says "faggot"/says something racially awkward/makes a gag about cancer. Make out like all the posts there are like that.

You should then get some feedback from their power posters. These are the guys you beef with hard. Pro tip: if you put their email address into the facebook search engine you can usually find out their real name. IP lookups are good as well if they post from work. Find their twitter, their myspace, if you're lucky you'll catch a gumtree or craigslist posting. Can you find a web pseudonym they use? Google that: you could get dating websites, political forums, all manner o'crazy crap.

The trick is attack targets that'll fire back, otherwise there's no impetus for people to read back and forth. Your job is to siphon off as much of their readership as possible for the next week or so, you should be joined at the hip as far as their readers are concerned.

Here's a textbook takedown done Passantino style:

http://ichlugebullets.wordpress.com/2008/09/22/in-celebration-of-angry-young-man-joe-mofrad/

holy shit dom.

you should be in irl spooks or some shit.

^WTH is going on there? Did you make a fake faceparty profile of the guy?

That is srsly not a good example of internet pwnage, it makes you look crazy

No, it's legit.

Q: Dom, is the only reason Grime isn't mocked like Aussie Hip Hop is because that there are black people in England?

Pretty sure there were a couple of black dudes in Australia when your ancestors moved over there.

Jimmy the Mod's antics don't have people from other websites or industry people writing formal complaints to ILX moderators.

^^what's the story behind this my mans

by 'industry people' does he mean m1cha3l h4nn?

Michael Hann?

From what I know, Hann did go on this weird run of emailing other places I wrote for saying "THIS GUY IS A TROUBLE MAKER", which is just fucking... bizarre. Like, seriously, I wrote maybe three pieces for the Guardian and he went on doing this for at least two years after I left thim. Odd fucking guy.

But it mainly refers to a guy that Pashmina told me I'd get banned if I ever mentioned on ILX.

He tried to serve me with legal summons over Facebook. And he hates blacks.

Pretty sure there were a couple of black dudes in Australia when your ancestors moved over there.

Key word there is "were".

he wasn't an industry guy rly

cross posts

But it mainly refers to a guy that Pashmina told me I'd get banned if I ever mentioned on ILX.

Oh, you can post it here. Pashmina doesn't read 'The Cape', I'm sure.

dom,

I am not the 1980s Brat Pack star Judd Nelson. My name is actually Dom, I'm an Anglo-Italian indiekid from Northampton England, studying in Lancaster. My interests are lesbian pornography and teen angst. Musically, I'm obsessive to the point of banality, especially with indie, alt.rock, and consciencious hip hop.

― Judd Nelson, Monday, March 18, 2002 8:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yours,
and what

he wasn't an industry guy rly

― special guest stars mark bronson, Friday, 27 February 2009 21:35 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

He wrote for the 27th biggest left wing blog in the UK!

ethan,

lol elephant 6

yours,

The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics

I'm an Anglo-Italian indiekid
I'm an Anglo-Italian indiekid
I'm an Anglo-Italian indiekid
I'm an Anglo-Italian indiekid
I'm an Anglo-Italian indiekid
I'm an Anglo-Italian indiekid

Dom, you're missing this:

why did dom get banned?
― max, Friday, February 27, 2009 7:28 PM (1 minute ago)

LJed himself by starting the CaptainLorax poll. If people want to talk more about it, prob ought to do it on IMP cuz it is kind of catch 22 here since dom cant see it.

xpost yep.

― freezing fog its whats for breakfast (jjjusten), Friday, February 27, 2009 1:33 PM

no shit-talking about non-77ers rules being used to protect people who got banned from 77 for shit-talking about people not on 77 on some double indemnity shit

― 'lop chalpagne (and what), Friday, February 27, 2009 1:33 PM

How can we resolve this?

we should clown everybody who gets banned from 77 for meta til there's no-one left

i promised i wouldnt post on meta thredz about 77 but i invited captainlorax to 77, so he is on 77

http://www.eubanks-kindred.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/gun-free-family.gif

xxp

i promised i wouldnt post on meta thredz about 77 but i invited captainlorax to 77, so he is on 77

― max, Friday, 27 February 2009 21:45 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Can someone do a "search", he must have posted on there at some point.

well probably not since i just invited him the other day

http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?showall=true&bookmarkedmessageid=472191&boardid=77&threadid=70310

REPORT IT TO THE MODS

LOL Dom you are so FULL OF SHIT:

But it mainly refers to a guy that Pashmina told me I'd get banned if I ever mentioned on ILX.

― Blap for Lashes (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Friday, 27 February 2009 21:34 (23 minutes ago)

VS:
Norman Fay
to Dom
nutjobs and utter shit heads, but can you keep any stuff about these 2
off the boards from here on please? I hate dealing with people who
make me want to bang my head against a wall, plus, I suspect that at
least one of them is a legal hobbyist and I don't have the resources
to fight either of them if they actually do take legal action against
me. (be warned that they are claiming to be about to sue YOU,
although of course this might be about as terrifying as
[redacted] or
what the fuck ever)

On top of that, you are about a million times smarter than either of
these twats and it pains me to see you waste even thirty seconds of
your life on them, or in fact anyone giving them any attention
whatsoever. Also, if these guys _are_ legal hobbyists, people like
that can make your life a fucking misery. Like, for years.

Oh come on, I can't build up my mystique?

It would have made me look dangerous and you look powerful.

But no, you have to go and do the respect handshake.

Oops, I broke it. you get the idea anyway.

pash that is such a sweet note, this is how you won mod of the year 2008

Look where it got me, Max! Propagandized!

Jokes bruv aside, pash is a legit great mod.

He also has a beard.

OK I'm going to go and drink myself into a stupor now :-/

(xpost not anymore, I shaved it off for my new job)

another victim of the recession

Yes :(

that sucks.

http://i36.tinypic.com/20ze2xl.jpg