YOU DECIDE: Cape of Good Hope Official Nominee for the 2008 US President Election

BARACK OBAMA (Iraq (probably))

Pros: old skool baller

L
A
T
E
R
S

Cons: i'm white btw

THAT OLD DUDE (Arizona)

Pros: probably was the inspiration for Steve Martin's disco hit "King Tut"

Cons: crap old man jokes told by late night talk hosts for at least four years

CHARLES JAY (Florida)

Pros: has worked in the sport of boxing as a manager and spokesman

Cons: can't trust a dude from *Florida* running for the *Boston* Tea Party

BORIS JOHNSTON (Londonistan)

Pros: would be perfect for the land of the lol facebook lol

Cons: Yanks don't "get" wiffle waffle

THE GORILLA FROM THE FAMOUS CADBURY ADVERTISEMENT AS SEEN ON YOUTUBE (The Internet)

Pros: bros be fully down with that Phil Collins drum sound shit yo

Cons: probably too similar to incumbent President

THE 17-YEAR-OLD UNMARRIED PREGNANT DAUGHTER OF SARAH PALIN (Alaska)

Pros: great promoter of sexual education

Cons: the real mother is probably a jackal

VLADIMIR PUTIN (Russia)

Pros: likes to chillax with topless fishing and tiger killing

Cons: it took months for Ruskies to kill the WOLVERINES

CHARLES BARKLEY (Alabama)

Pros: out with "the buck stops here" and in with "shut up and jam!"

Cons: USA-China is gonna be the Suns-Bulls of the 21st century

JOHN HOWARD (Kirribilli)

Pros: more cogent than all the other apes

Cons: is John Howard

FRANCO COZZO (North Melbourne/Footscray)

Pros: megallo megallo megallo

Cons: megallo megallo megallo

BIG KEV (Surfers Paradise)

Pros: excited

Cons: dead

KEVIN RUDD (Queensland, mate)

Pros: time to cash in on China-mania after Beijing with a dude who speaks Mandarin don't ya know

Cons: KRUDD RUINED TEH AUSTRALIAN ECONOMY IN SIX MONTHS!!1! MY MORTGAGE WAS GRATE UNDER HOWARD AND COSTELLOS!!1!!11!

PAUL KEATING (Bankstown)

Pros: conservative scumbags are gonna be in trouble

Cons: those antique clocks might get damaged in transit

KIM BEAZLEY (Perth)

Pros: has his own theme music

Cons: cannot walk to the lectern and back

btw am surprised there's an election in the US, you'd think it'd be in our news by now

even just one little headline on page 23, 'election looms in america' but no, nothing

and we get saturation coverage of that upcoming angolan election, god i'm sick of hearing about that, 'first in 16 years fastest growing economy in world blah blah' yes we know, shut up, how about a bit of news on the american elections just once

Please, Adam, don't hold back on us or anything.

SCOTT HODGES (Port Adelaide)

Pros: kicked 150 goals for Port Adelaide in the 1990 SANFL season

Cons: was crap when he played for the Crows in the AFL and was no Modra

FRANCO COZZO (North Melbourne/Footscray)

HITLER

Pros: not Bush

Cons: one ball