A second chance with a perfect stranger.

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On another thread I posted my uninteresting story about having missed an opportunity to make conversation with a perfect (that is, cute) stranger. I often comfort myself with the delusion that I will have another chance by which to correct my mistake. When I was at school, this was not entirely unreasonable. In the big wide world, it's bloody unlikely.

But has anyone here ever passed up such an opportunity, only to find it granted again? That is, have you encountered the same stranger a second time and made your move (or not)?

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. But the second time was really only about 45 minutes later and I was half-drunk and she turned out to be rather dud. She was really tall, though.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I liked your story, Amateurist. It made me wish I had more cause to take trains.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes! Well, kind of. Met a girl at a party and she was more interested in my friend. Ten years later I met her again...and now we're married!
Awwwww.

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess what I'm wondering is, were you seized with the same inaction the second time around? Am I just silly imagining that I wouldn't pass up the next opportunity? (While it was happening I kept telling myself things like, "If she moves to [x] seat I will talk to her. If she gets off at [x] stop I will talk to her." But I wonder if I would have let those deadlines pass without incident.)

Gaz, that is a great story. I think meeting someone at a party makes it more likely you will see them again, since it means you inhabit the same social milieu, broadly speaking.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

But weren't you like at Facets or some art film house? You might see her there again, especially since she should have memorized the schedule by now.

This is the good thing about doing things you like. You run into people who share your interests. Sometimes it takes a few times and then you can be like, "I see you there all the time!" when you see them somewhere else. It happens a lot. I swear, God is so cheap with the extras.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Some time last year, I went out to see some lame bank in Hoxton. The support band was utterly intolerable, the worst dreck I'd ever seen. This couple come over and sit at my table. The boy (very attractive, in excedingly cute hat) almost immediately starts heckling the band and shouting out all the things which I've been thinking. The girl winces and shoots me apologetic glances and finally slopes off to get them beer. I grin at him, admiringly, but don't say anything. He rolls his eyes, smiles back at me and continues heckling. Girl comes back, they squabble and eventually leave in sulks.

I won't know it for another four months, but I've just met Hilton Betelgeuse for the first time.

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Another perfectly good thread...

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

D'OH! I'm sorry! But it was on topic...

― kate, Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, I really shouldn't joke about it. I'm sorry. Why is it that saying that I don't want to talk to him or talk about him any more always makes me talk about him more? No, I mean it this time. Not talking about him any more.
-- kate (masonicboo...), Today 6:28 PM. (later)

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Felicity: it was the Film Center. I guess I will have to go to every screening of films by Russian mysticist directors and hope for the best.

Sadly, the people I see most often at FC screenings:

(1) Middle-aged white guy who looks like Bill Gaines, wears terrible sweaters. In other words, the guy I fear I will become.

(2) Skinny youngish Asian guy who is at every single movie screening in Chicago ever (even the ones that occur simultaneously), according to my friends and I. Scary.

(3) Senile old guy with a hunchback who yells out questions before and after every screening and always forgets the name of the movie he just watched.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yes and

(4) Jonathan Rosenbaum

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Amateurist - do you by chance know Brian McKendry?

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

yes because dunedin is a small town

― ducklingmonster, Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Amateurist - do you by chance know Brian McKendry?

No, is he the senile old guy?

(Tom, you're supposed to say: "I know who that girl on the train was! Here's her number!")

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

It could have been worse. She could have been reading Saramango. Then you'd know for sure you'd never see her again.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

or Saramago, even.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Since everyone on the trains is reading either Ayn Rand, Harry Potter, or some Christian self-help book, that is unlikely.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you talking the Purple Line, Blue Line or Metra?

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

The Piccadilly line evidently has a better class of literati than the Northern and the Jubilee. As far as I can see there are only three books you are allowed to read by law on these lines, currently: any old Harry Potter, that Tolkien about the dark towers or whatever, any old chicklit nonsense and THE BIBLE (you have to mutter to yourself when your read this, apparently). Listening to the stuff people play on their walkpersons, there seems to be much more mad variety in musical taste. Why is this?
(I was once on a Glasgow-London plane and the women next to me [who looked very much like AL Kennedy, book fans] was reading Gravity's Rainbow. I spent the duration of the flight agonising over whether to strike up a conversation along the lines of "that is my favourite book in the whole world" and worrying that this would make me seem like a scarycreepynutfreak. In the end my scarycreepynutfreak paranoia won out. Is there an etiquette to this kind of thing?)
-- Edna Welthorpe, Mrs (edna_welthorp...), January 7th, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha Amateurist, you plagiarist!

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:29 (twenty-two years ago)

No Felicity, it's the monoculture!

I much prefer the people reading the Bible proper to those reading Tomorrow Is a Matter of Choice: An 8-Step Action Plan for Today.

I take the Red Line.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

oh right, I forget, you work in Evanston.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Doesn't it make you feel better tha some things are universal?

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 00:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Does a friend-of-a-friend count? I helped my ex and her fiancee move into their new apartment last September. Since I was cat-sitting their cat at the same time, so he wouldn't get freaked by all the moving furniture and whatnot, I spent the day moving crap around and unpacking their kitchen for them on less than an hour's sleep, so I opted out of the housewarming party that night, but as the party was starting up, I was briefly introduced to a friend of theirs -- making God knows what impression, but thinking to myself, "She's way too hot to be interesting."

Met her again at their Halloween party, discovered we had a lot of interests in common. Asked her out. We're talking about moving in together now ...

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Friends of friends, or housekeepers of friends, don't really count. I'm talking about people with whom you had no possible means of getting in touch with again, nor any reasonable expectation that you would see them again.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:29 (twenty-two years ago)

My better half is failing at supressing the urge to say "but that's what you get for judging people on looks alone."

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Never say never

― brg30 (brg30), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Felicity, was that to me? I'm not sure what you mean.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Closest thing I've got, then, is continually running into a really cute girl who flirted with me the first time I met her (she was clerking in some store, I forget what sort) and who I kept seeing at other places in the neighborhood -- I was dating someone else, non-exclusively, and only ever saw this girl when I was with the woman I was dating (who suggested I ask her out). So, second/third/fourth chances, sort of, but muddled by circumstance.

My better half is failing at supressing the urge to say "but that's what you get for judging people on looks alone."

Oh yeah, absolutely. It doesn't seem like the sort of thing I'd usually think, much less act (or not-act) on -- I have plenty of friends who are unquestionably attractive, so I'm not even sure what basis I had for the assumption. I blame the exhaustion of the moment.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, Amateurist, I'm not trying to be insensitive. I just wonder what the qualities are that you may be projecting onto this person (knowing nothing about her besides her appearance) and how you would go about finding someone who actually had those qualities AND with whom you could actually get in touch.

Or maybe she was just especially cute. nabisco and I saw a really cute girl at the Rainbow one night. She had great shoes. Maybe you could go there?

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't imagine how you would decide whom in a crowd of people to speak to if you weren't constantly making inferences on the basis of how they wore their hair, their facial expressions, their clothes, their body language, their shoes, their reading material, where you found them, etc.

The girl I mentioned wasn't spellbindingly beautiful by any means. I was just intrigued is all (I would have been less intrigued, in fact, had she been spellbindingly beautiful, but that's another thread). My angst--such as it is, and it isn't really much--comes from my not having had the gumption to say hi to her rather than any special qualities I've projected onto her. In fact I haven't given much thought at all to what she might be like. I regret not saying hi because now I don't have an opportunity to find out.

I'll freely admit to being shallow in many respects (and unfairly so, since I'm hardly Cary Grant) but I think my (non)behavior here was on the up and up.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Amateurist, I am not making a negative judgment on you. But all of those, save context, are visual phenomena. If you find yourself in a crowd of people with whom you share a common context, why not make a comment about the context?

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

The common context here was of course the (sparsely attended) Andrei Rublev screening. This wouldn't even have come up had she not been leaving that particular event.

When you say "make a comment" do you mean that I hadn't been talking about Tarkovsky on this thread? (An honest question, I am not being snippy. And I wasn't offended by your last post.)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean why not ask her "What did you think of the film?"

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Although the question sounds rhetorical, it really isn't.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, of course that is the exact thing I would have asked her had I worked up the nerve! And in fact it was the exact thing I would have wanted to know, since my response to the film was decidely ambivalent. (Although I actually tend to prefer tense silences after film scrennings to blah-blah-blahing.)

I may sound like I'm approaching Hilton Betelguese-levels of unwarranted obsessing. I'm not, in fact. I was less interested in discussing this particular (trivial) event and your thoughts on it, than in hearing about similar experiences that ILXers may have had.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Fair enough. I don't really have these experiences. I prefer to let my strangers remain perfect, as they already excel at the roles they play in my life.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Felicity, I was actually thinking something similar. The event was sort of satisfying in itself. I get bored and nervous on public transportation, so it was a pleasant diversion to imagine the ways I might approach this girl and all the various permutations of "What did you think of the movie?" I might pose to her. It also gives me something to do in the future when I attend screenings alone, lazily wondering if I'll see her again.*

However I know that kind of thinking ("Ooh maybe I'll see her again! And then I'll walk right up to her and--") is kind of daft and I thought it'd be amusing to find out if anyone here actually had a chance to enact that scenario.

* Note that this is an awfully defeatist, no tragic, way of thinking. I have friends who would have undoubtedly made more of this situation and who would not have been "satisfied" by the dubious pleasure of imagining any such benign scenarios.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

KOZZIN LARRY, I LAUFF YOU SO MUCH

― BALKI (donut), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

(Oh, if it were all about "looks," I'd be seized with the [frustrated] desire to approach someone every day. I work at a university; there is no shortage of good-looking people.)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

i only seem to get together with anyone at all, stranger or no, on the second chance

― minna (minna), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

(Also, and this may clear things up a bit, in this case a big part of "cute" = she likes going to Tarkovsky movies alone on Saturday nights.)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Minna, that's a different story. The story of my life! I like it that way. As Freud wrote, "The finding of any object is the re-finding of it."

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Minna, do you plan it that way, or does it just happen?

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow, Amateurist. I thought I was over that sort of thing, but if this Tarkovsky girl was good looking I would totally be obsessing about her too. And I didn't even like Andrei Rublev. It's the Saturday night thing that clinches it.

Worst case scenario: she is just genning up on arthouse cinema to impress some guy she is stalking.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:23 (twenty-two years ago)

she is just genning up on arthouse cinema to impress some guy she is stalking.

Not really so bad if you phrase it differently. There's a lot of things I'd never be into if I wasn't following the example of someone I was crushing on--or as often, discovering it "for their benefit" by some hopelessly obscure, hermetic formulation.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but I'm assuming the guy is not you.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but what I'm saying is: Good for her.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I missed such an opportunity, but when it was offered again in the following week I took the plunge. Result? Best sex of my life, bar none.

Followed by an amazingly pathetic relationship that was based purely on that one night of perfect sex (we never came close again) and his suddenly remembering his wife and then his being convinced that he had gonorreah and convincing a doctor of it and his being on antibiotics and the antibiotics not improving the discomfort and his visit to another doctor who told him that he didn't have gonorreah, had never had it, and likely was feeling so guilty for cheating on his wife that he had developed the symptoms from theat guilt. And me convincing him to go back to his wife and never contact me again.

The sex was incredible, though. I literally couldn't walk the next day - my legs were like jelly. I kept falling down and laughing. It was amazing. *sigh* Pity he was A) married and B) so fucked-up and C) a liar.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:29 (twenty-two years ago)

And I am not obsessing, honest. The girl is but one example of a phenomenon of which I am soliciting further examples--like Laura's. Except into my Winnie the Pooh scenario she begins to insert such concepts as great sex and adultery. This thread has lost its innocence.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, great sex can fuck right off.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sorry, Amateurist. Shall I sing "House at Pooh Corner" as an attempt to remedy the situation?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

no i don't plan it that way amateurist, it mostly follows this kind of scenario
encounter/period of encounters (a): i don't realise/talk myself out of it/play it safe.
this period passes and i suddenly realise what a fool i was and am full of regret, until...
opportunity (b) arises - i grab good fortune by forlock!

― minna (minna), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes! This is exactly the scenario that inspired a certain sublime contentedness after this episode passed, but I also think in this particular case it's a rather daft scenario to be imagining. I'm happy to know you've had luck with it. (Care to elaborate?)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

ok for example it's happened twice with people i worked with. the work ended for one reason or another and it was unlikely i'd ever see them again, but in both cases i did bump into them at random in the street.

― minna (minna), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

(and we didn't just keep walking)

― minna (minna), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...

I've never seen her again. :-(

― amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 24 May 2003 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I love the title of this thread. It sounds like an episode of The Red Shoe Diaries or something.

― slutsky (slutsky), Saturday, 24 May 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, one girlfriend I'd first been introduced to friends. She hooked me up to take some international student friends of hers to her school formal. I took the opportunity to booze it up, live large on her coin and be a total cad to all and sundry.

Two years later, older, wiser and less of a bastard we met up at a party. A month later we had this flaming streaking fireball of a relationship that lasted a couple of months.

I'm actually really glad that I had that second chance.

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Sunday, 25 May 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

And if I walk these streets long enough, will you happen to me again?

― amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Still my favourite thread title.

― s1utsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 04:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I imagine it in that "London Kills Me" voice

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 04:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw the cute French-English girl again. In the video store. She was renting The Insider and 40 Days and 40 Nights.

I wonder if I've actually seen her around before but didn't notice until we were introduced. Anyway, she has a slight lisp which I hadn't noticed on Saturday night. I'm still not actually interested in her, if Mary's listening.

― amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I love this thread title so much.

― David. (Cozen), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

She was renting The Insider and 40 Days and 40 Nights.

That would probably confuse and excite me.

― s1utsky (slutsky), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

time for a re-vive

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 26 September 2004 05:32 (twenty years ago)

remember when we used the shift key, old pal?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 26 September 2004 05:35 (twenty years ago)

i had yet to perfect my schtick

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 26 September 2004 05:36 (twenty years ago)

three months pass...

bump

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 30 December 2004 14:16 (twenty years ago)

Dude, if you're going to brag, just do it.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 30 December 2004 15:09 (twenty years ago)

i have nothing to brag about!

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 30 December 2004 15:15 (twenty years ago)

Oh...I was thinking of the other amateurist.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 30 December 2004 15:17 (twenty years ago)

????

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 30 December 2004 15:18 (twenty years ago)

http://www.crazyabouttv.com/Images/perfectstrangers.jpg

― The Yellow Kid, Thursday, 30 December 2004 19:50 (twenty years ago)

haha

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 30 December 2004 19:54 (twenty years ago)

Not a perfect stranger, but I have an acquaintance who I fancied a few years ago, and one night I was hanging out at her apartment, and her roommate was gone, and she was showing me some photos and moved in extremely close to me, legs touching, and we chuckled about something or other, and then for some stupid reason, I stretched, said it was getting late and that I should probably be going: good night. I have replayed this scene in my head many times and can't get over how easy it would've been to make a move. Oh, I guess there's no second chance either; she's now engaged.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 30 December 2004 19:59 (twenty years ago)

shit like that has happened to me a million times.

somehow i never get the signals, or some part of my brane decides to read them in the most innocuous of fashions. days, weeks, or sometimes months later i think on it and realize how obtuse i was being.

ah, life.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 30 December 2004 20:07 (twenty years ago)

Yup.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 30 December 2004 20:24 (twenty years ago)

I guess that story belongs on the thread you started about that, Am. I forget what it was called.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 30 December 2004 20:24 (twenty years ago)

This is how stalkers are born, no?

― I'm serious ... Ti-i-i-i-im (deangulberry), Thursday, 30 December 2004 20:27 (twenty years ago)

well, you have to let it go and laugh at it.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 30 December 2004 20:29 (twenty years ago)

and resolve not to make the same mistakes again.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 30 December 2004 20:29 (twenty years ago)

this is how power ballads are born.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 30 December 2004 20:31 (twenty years ago)

three months pass...

revive, because it may amuse slocki.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Monday, 25 April 2005 04:58 (twenty years ago)

Have you ever heard that song strangers on a train from Lovage?

― Nellie (nellskies), Monday, 25 April 2005 06:07 (twenty years ago)

seven months pass...

no.

this has nothing to do with strangers, but i thought i would revive this thread anyway.

do you ever wonder if

(a) you are only interested in people who are not interested in you and
(b) you therefore lose interest in people once you realize they really like you?

i broke up with someone not so long ago and they suggested that i had this problem. naturally i figured this was some kind of coping mechanism on their part, but i'm starting to have my doubts.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 25 November 2005 09:22 (nineteen years ago)

adolph bin streisand's sex life to thread.

― the jews (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 25 November 2005 09:31 (nineteen years ago)

adolph bin streisand?

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 25 November 2005 09:32 (nineteen years ago)

see this thread

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 25 November 2005 09:34 (nineteen years ago)

oh that's right, you haven't been around. never mind.

― the jews (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 25 November 2005 09:34 (nineteen years ago)

How come I always click on Amateurist threads? How come their timing always coincide with what's happeining in my life?

― Baaderonixx weaves a daisy chain for... SATAN!! (baaderonixx), Friday, 25 November 2005 10:20 (nineteen years ago)

ditto

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 25 November 2005 10:46 (nineteen years ago)

freshman year of college, my roommate had a friend who was dating a fellow who lived downstairs. she'd stop by occasionally for idle chit chat and i never really bothered talking to her, what with me thinking "She's out of your league". and her having a boyfriend and me being rather shy. as for her she apparently just thought i was being an aloof dickwad. a year or so passes and she returns from a semester spent in london, i happen to see her on campus and we exchange smiles, waves, and a cursory 'where have you been' but nothing more; a few days later i catch her having a cigarette with the same former roommate and stop by, mostly to talk to him but also out of theoretically misguided flirtatiousness as i'm under the impression i've somehow gotten more attractive since i first saw her around. a brief and somewhat awkward though extremely engaging discussion abt jean-luc godard ensues and don't you know, i've got to be off to class. no further conversation for a while until a few weeks later she invites me and a friend over to play some drinking games with her and a few of my former hallmates from freshman year. i almost declined as i had been planning to make it an early night but decided why not as i hadn't seen my hallmates in a while. long story short, we kiss, as i'm walking her to her dorm she gets arrested by the campus police for public drunkenness (on the eve of the first day of classes no less!), we proceed to date for 6 months

not really a perfect stranger, sure, but i often wonder what those months wd have been like if i had chosen to stay in that night. not to mention the months following as she's a brilliant, beautiful girl who is now one of my dearest friends

― nervous (cochere), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

do you ever wonder if

(a) you are only interested in people who are not interested in you and
(b) you therefore lose interest in people once you realize they really like you?

In my teens I would often think this was the case but I think it was only a way to... cope with my bad luck in guys/relationships. Self-fulfilling prophecy and so on.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

amst's question is the gordian knot that secures the noose around the necks of many love lives

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

Joseph Cotton's character in Citizen Kane to thread!

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 18:22 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

not a perfect stranger exactly but there is a woman in one of my classes who has the most awe-inspiring green vinyl bag. sometimes she has boots to match. HOT. she is always dressed very well, although not ostentatiously so. also she inexplicably speaks french with seems like a spanish accent (she is not spanish). and she puts the eraser end of her pencil up to the space between her eyebrows when she's thinking. sorry am i objectifying? i am currently plotting to chat with her after class. (i don't even know her name, as it's mostly a lecture class and we didn't do the routine introductions on day one.) i wonder if mentioning the bag is a good ice breaker?

btw i went on what i think turned out to be a date last night and i was invited back to her place where all i did was thumb through her book collection while she made eyes at me. unusually for me i think i actually got the point this time. i dunno, i'd resolved to be really passive and see where it takes me, but i don't know how well it's going to work in practice.

i think i need to have sex so i stop craving cigarettes.

― amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Sunday, 5 February 2006 15:16 (nineteen years ago)

we were in a crumby club on friday night - not a looker in the place, at least i thought so till i got in the queue to collect my coat. a very pretty wee blonde girl stood next to me and was quite obviously making eyes at me. our conversation went a bit like this:

me: hello
her: hi
me: you getting your coat?
her: yeh, i'm off home to bed
me: right
[pause while i get my coat]
me: bye then

i was kicking myself before i'd even left the building.

― Vintage Latin (dog latin), Sunday, 5 February 2006 15:27 (nineteen years ago)

same thing happened to me on friday night, except early doors. wasnt expecting such an early chance, fluffed it

mind you, these are more first chances with a perfect stranger. well, only chance, if we're going to be honest

― terry lennox. (gareth), Sunday, 5 February 2006 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

I am atrocious when it comes to these sorts of chances. One-on-one with the keeper, you can guarantee I will blaze over the bar.

Robbie Keane.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 5 February 2006 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

i need to work on this aspect of my game

― terry lennox. (gareth), Sunday, 5 February 2006 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

eight months pass...

revive for no particular reason

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 13 October 2006 01:33 (eighteen years ago)

girls

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 13 October 2006 03:47 (eighteen years ago)

i know, really!

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 13 October 2006 05:24 (eighteen years ago)

seriously i have been thinking about girls lately but not about perfect strangers. but i couldn't remember the names of any of the other threads i started about girls.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 13 October 2006 05:24 (eighteen years ago)

I was on the red line tonight, sitting next to a v. cute girl reading a film textbook (with interest!). I had the headphones on, so I didn't notice until we were a few stops away. I was looking pretty depresso-filth anyway, so I figured I'd just leave it be, wouldn't be enough time for a proper conversation, etc. Of course, she got off at my stop, and walked basically next to me to the same block I was.

Best story ever.

But yes, commiserations. It was on the way to work, and she was obv. on the way to class, so I'll try and hop on roughly the same car and keep an eye out, to answer your question. For science.

― En I See Kay. (EstrangedNative), Friday, 13 October 2006 05:37 (eighteen years ago)

Oh yeah, girls. Classic.

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 13 October 2006 06:17 (eighteen years ago)

i love this thread

― t0dd swiss (immobilisme), Friday, 13 October 2006 07:35 (eighteen years ago)

I think I've let this aspect of my game slip even more than I had in February. Twice in the space of a month now! You always think the moment is longer than it actually is.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 13 October 2006 07:40 (eighteen years ago)

do you ever wonder if

(a) you are only interested in people who are not interested in you and
(b) you therefore lose interest in people once you realize they really like you?

do you still feel this way, amateurist? i think a lot of people get themselves into this situation and it's too bad/a waste/extremely unfair to the people you like/don't like who end up being victim of the vicissitudes of your self-image

i can be harsh because that was me, and is me, from time to time

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Friday, 13 October 2006 07:57 (eighteen years ago)

although actually it doesn't have much to do with the thread question, which tracks much closer to Matt DC's brilliant "one on one with the keeper" psyche-out metaphor

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Friday, 13 October 2006 07:58 (eighteen years ago)

tracer: i don't know. it's a case by case thing i suppose. i think maybe it's something i have to actively struggle against rather than just lament.

todd: how are you doing dude???

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 13 October 2006 13:14 (eighteen years ago)

i am doing well amateur(ist), just finishing up my cinema degree from home because i am a horrible slacker and need to take french.

― t0dd swiss (immobilisme), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 03:51 (eighteen years ago)

the best i've done with second chances is pretty pathetic. there's a guy i vaguely know and like who studied abroad with some of my friends, and when they have reunion parties i see him, so at the first one, i told myself i would definitely have a conversation with him next time. the next time came and i did, we talked about thomas merton and dostoevsky and mysticism. ok, i think theology is pretty hot, and his life is basically ordered around it (he's a catholic classics major writing a thesis on a classical christian poet and reading merton in his spare time). but then i went home and that was that. sigh. third chance, please? and how do i start a normal conversation?

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 04:25 (eighteen years ago)

Get drunk?

Anyway, this happened to me once, in such an against-the-odds, feels-like-I'm-in-a-romantic-comedy way that it felt kinda like it was meant to be. But then I got to know her, and realized I wasn't interested in her after all. I rarely fall for someone I don't at all beforehand, cause people like that are like hollow shells we fill with out romantic dreams, and who could ever match those?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 06:06 (eighteen years ago)

haha. the sad thing is we were already at a bar, tuomas. but i'd only had one drink.

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 06:20 (eighteen years ago)

Can you not seek out his phone number or email through contacts and invite him out?

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 06:21 (eighteen years ago)

i suppose i could do that. honestly i am afraid of being at all direct because i fear rejection followed by ridicule and shame.

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 06:24 (eighteen years ago)

In my experience, a girl telephoning a single boy is unlikely to face rejection.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 06:38 (eighteen years ago)

In my experience, it can happen. But you have to be able to deal with the possibility of rejection if you're want to ask people out instead of just dreaming about them. And the potential shame always feels worse beforehand than after you've actually been rejected. And often it happens that you're not rejected, and you may go out to have a wonderful date. And even if you don't, at least you'll be a bit less afraid the next time you want to ask someone out.

For example, you may imagine how silly I felt when asking the number of a certain girl, only to find out she's lesbian. But I'm still happy I did it, because the person I was five years ago wouldn't have dared to ask at all.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 08:02 (eighteen years ago)

You should have explained that you were a lesbian trapped in the wrong body.

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 08:22 (eighteen years ago)

I am really hoping this will happen to me after meeting the perfect stranger in Soho on Saturday night. I was there for a birthday and she was there for a pre-party outing. We made eyes at each other a couple of times and she sat on the table next to my friends and I with her group, which probably presented an opportunity, but I wasn't sure. Finally, she moved away from her friends and closer to me, so I introduced myself and got chatting. Unfortunately, she was about to leave for Gramaphone, which she was impressed to learn was an old DJ venue for certain ILXors and myself, but just as I was suggesting I take her number and give her a ring, one of her mates jumped in and dragged her off before I could learn her reply.

And because I couldn't convince a friend to head to Commercial Street with me, I stayed on at the bar, got tipsy, got hit on by another girl (friend of my best friend) and then waited 20 mins for a bus to Shoreditch, having been told by the girl the night was ending at 3am and finding out it ended at 2.

― Badrock Example (Barima), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 13:16 (eighteen years ago)

In my experience, a girl telephoning a single boy is unlikely to face rejection.

This... this, my friends, is a flat out lie.

― Three In A Bed Socks Romp (kate), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 13:20 (eighteen years ago)

In my experience, a girl telephoning a single boy is unlikely to face rejection.

This... this, my friends, is a flat out lie.

OTM!! Who's to say that just because the traditional gender roles are reversed that he will fancy her? Seriously, what a stupid statement.

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 13:49 (eighteen years ago)

(Sorry Ed, that was a little harsh. Naif is probably better rather than stupid)

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 13:50 (eighteen years ago)

...yeah, I was going to say.

In fact, *my* experience is (and this may have to do with my being a fat, mad cow, rather than a pushy female) that lots of men are actually *put off* by a girl chasing them "too aggressively".

Sucks, and it isn't fair, but seems to be the way of things. :-(

(cue loads of indie boys saying "but but no, it takes the pressure off to have a girl make the first move" in which case, please give me your phone number and we'll see.)

― Three In A Bed Socks Romp (kate), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 13:52 (eighteen years ago)

Argh! Argh! Make me shut up. Make me stop thinking these things. I should know better than to read dating threads when I an trying to psych myself back into dating again. :-(

― Three In A Bed Socks Romp (kate), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 13:52 (eighteen years ago)

OK, let's put it another way:

In my experience, a girl telephoning ME is unlikely to face rejection.

I'm in favour of strong willed women and I don't like playing games. For the same reason I'm quite happy to make the first move as well.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 13:57 (eighteen years ago)

xpost agreeing with kate - yes, i know some religious or conservative guys who actually don't like the idea of a girl asking them out. i would be frustrated and less willing to date any guy who took that view, just because of the ideas on gender roles it would suggest he holds, but it's yet another reason that rejection might occur.

i'm not sure if that's better or worse than guys who won't make moves at all, though. i've done my share of asking out and become really frustrated with passivity.

but whatever, it's not that complicated, right? an invitation to go out with a smaller group of friends is a pretty harmless get-to-know-you step, right?

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:00 (eighteen years ago)

In my experience, a girl telephoning a single boy is unlikely to face rejection.

I think, in the minds of the boys who say things like this, that the hypothetical girl telephoning is one they kind of already like, or had just noticed in the hallway the other day, or etc etc insert soft-focus lens here.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:03 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, I don't agree with that statement, either, but Ed has already taken it back.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:04 (eighteen years ago)

men are actually *put off* by a girl chasing them "too aggressively".

To be fair, though, Kate, isn't everybody? It can be a bit stalkerish/creepy, regardless of gender roles. I know the kind of guy you're talking about, though.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:12 (eighteen years ago)

In my experience, a girl telephoning ME is unlikely to face rejection.

I'd agree with this, but then it's only happened for the first time right now and I am playing it very frostily.

I'm in favour of strong willed women and I don't like playing games. For the same reason I'm quite happy to make the first move as well.

OTM. I haven't had to make the first move for a while - I actually find, with rare exceptions, that I have to if I genuinely like them (and need to see if they're interested, of course).

― Badluck Example (Barima), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:14 (eighteen years ago)

Michael, to loads of men I've met, it seems like actually messaging or phoning them first is "too aggressive". Why'd you give me your phone number, then? I don't take numbers any more, I give mine and then figure it's up to them. (Not that I've been asked for mine in a long time.)

― Three In A Bed Socks Romp (kate), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:15 (eighteen years ago)

I'm in slight agreement with Maria, I find passivity and lack of assertiveness to be somewhat unattractive. I'm not looking for female Gordon Geckos but I do like people who both know what they want and are prepared to do something about getting it.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:17 (eighteen years ago)

my only story to go with this question would be years and years ago when I approached this girl in a club. We chatted for a long time, but I remember I was being waay too forward and when I eventually asked her out she kindly declined the offer.

a good 7 years or so later and she popped up again in a different club, randomly came jumping up to me at the end of the night and I think her words were "oh what the hell", and gave me her phone number.

in the end it never worked out, i still see her around sometimes. i think she's married now.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:28 (eighteen years ago)

hahaha! "oh what the hell," how flattering. that's a good story, somehow.

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:39 (eighteen years ago)

Regret always gets them in the end! I bet this is what's gonna happen to me now.

Ste raises a good point - what constistutes "too forward" on the first meeting? I mean, this is giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming he didn't say shit like "I wanna freak you, mama" 10 minutes in.

― Badrock Example (Barima), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:43 (eighteen years ago)

I certainly wouldn't remember some random guy who tried to hit on me once 7 years ago. You must've made an impression.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:43 (eighteen years ago)

haha thanks. perhaps so Tuomas.

i remember our first date, in a bar, some random lady singing on stage started walking around placing chocolate mini eggs on everyones table. gave us a larf.

Barima, i was just too cocky iirc, a little too drunk perhaps. i don't think i said anything tasteless. thats not in my nature anyhoo.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 14:51 (eighteen years ago)

the funny thing about the second meeting was that there was also another incident involving a strange girl that same night.

my mate pushed me to go and ask a certain girl out for him but when i stopped her on her way to the bar she said no she wasn't interested and then preceeded to ask why I hadn't ask her out myself. I smiled but trudged back to my mate, nothing became of it.
I'd met her again about a year later in another club and this time we exchanged phone numbers.

again the whole relationship eventually fell on its arse after only a couple of dates.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 15:00 (eighteen years ago)

Why do I get the feeling that if Barima ever mentioned the phrase "I wanna freak you, mama" 10 minutes in, he'd totally walk off with the girl! (Especially if he did his world-famous splits jump at the same time.)

― marianna lcl (marianna lcl), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 15:11 (eighteen years ago)

Because I only got 2 minutes and the splits hurt now.

― Badrock Example (Barima), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 22:20 (eighteen years ago)

If it had been 3, like in speed dating, I'm sure I would've suceeded. No, really.

― Badrock Example (Barima), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 22:23 (eighteen years ago)

http://online.tvguide.com/images/pgimg/perfect-strangers.jpg

― literalisp (literalisp), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 22:26 (eighteen years ago)

In summer 2005, I was approached at AS220 by a girl I didn't know who looked strangely familiar. She introduced herself to me and mentioned that she had gone to college with me and had seen me around and thought I was probably interesting. Turns out she had used to watch me sleep in class in Fall of 2000 and now here we were living in the same city. We had a little fling later in the summer, but now we've reconnected after both of us left very serious relationships..... who knows what may happen?!!?!?

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 22:27 (eighteen years ago)

ten months pass...

In fall '06 I met a dude who talked with brains about New Order in a SUPER-country accent (cuet). He left the show and I chased him out into the road, but couldn't find him. Last week he came into coffee place and sat by me in a Napalm Death shirt reading a massive book/talking to said book (cuet). Today I googled his name and found that he taught a class called "God is Dead -- So What?". I love him.

― roxymuzak, Monday, 20 August 2007 23:36 (eighteen years ago)

talking to said book?

― s1ocki, Monday, 20 August 2007 23:38 (eighteen years ago)

I love the title of this thread. It sounds like an episode of The Red Shoe Diaries or something.

-- slutsky (slutsky), Saturday, May 24, 2003 3:23 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

otm

― s1ocki, Monday, 20 August 2007 23:40 (eighteen years ago)

He kind of mumbled to the book! Once he said something to it outright, can't remember what it was. Maybe "Oh, no."

― roxymuzak, Monday, 20 August 2007 23:40 (eighteen years ago)

jon's story slightly upthread is ttlly cuet

― roxymuzak, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 00:13 (eighteen years ago)

he said "RONG"

― mark s, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 00:17 (eighteen years ago)

He gave the impression, that he thought it was wrong.

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 23 August 2007 02:17 (eighteen years ago)

he likes nachtmysticum and says "feller"

i guess i will probably marry him

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 23 August 2007 02:20 (eighteen years ago)

slocki self-OTMer OTM

― Abbott, Thursday, 23 August 2007 05:14 (eighteen years ago)

he needed some onanistic OTM love

― sanskrit, Thursday, 23 August 2007 14:44 (eighteen years ago)

i guess i will probably marry him

I love this. I would kill for an ounce of this sort of hopefulness and self-assuredness. I've encountered 2 or 3 of these stranger crushes in the last 6 years or so. Super mega want-her-to-have-babies with me crushes, and I have wussed out each time. I think that literally every girl I've dated since maybe high school has been the instigator (and ultimately wrong for me).

― will, Thursday, 23 August 2007 15:16 (eighteen years ago)

I just found out this guy lives in my old house!

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 23 August 2007 16:36 (eighteen years ago)

so gonna happen.

― will, Thursday, 23 August 2007 16:40 (eighteen years ago)

Go visit then!

― marianna lcl, Thursday, 23 August 2007 16:57 (eighteen years ago)

I love this. I would kill for an ounce of this sort of hopefulness and self-assuredness.

it comes with being well cuet like roxy.

haha this dude lives next door to tracerhand?!?!??!

― ken c, Thursday, 23 August 2007 17:02 (eighteen years ago)

the girl who works at the gym thought i have a nice name. but i totally ruined it with a string of awkwardness that she may well have thought was cute but i think she may now think that i'm too good for her, and that she only loves me because of this air of unobtainability, so if i actually talk to her again this bubble would burst and she won't fall in love with me as planned.

― ken c, Thursday, 23 August 2007 17:05 (eighteen years ago)

haha, don't go overboard or anything, ken!

not that house, btw. the one i moved into after that, in 4th and gill.

i have asked my friends if they know this stranger, and they're all like "THAT GUY? HE'S BRILLIANT, HOW HAVE YOU NEVER MET?"

one of my friends said he "plays speedmetal like a pro, 4 serious"

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3,3,3,3,3<#<#,3,3

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 23 August 2007 17:16 (eighteen years ago)

i NEVER see him, though

he is impossible to commune with (i.e. no net, haw)

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 23 August 2007 17:17 (eighteen years ago)

saw him yesterday driving through the neighborhood, completely zoned out, mouth agape, the windshield wipers on. it was not raining.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3,3,3<,#,3,3<3<3

― roxymuzak, Friday, 24 August 2007 21:50 (eighteen years ago)

This needs to happen.

― jaymc, Friday, 24 August 2007 21:53 (eighteen years ago)

I know, I know, I know.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 24 August 2007 21:56 (eighteen years ago)

OK, here's an idea. Subscribe to Metal Hammer or Kerrang or Guitar Player or something, and give your old house address. Then stop by one day to collect any mail that 'may' have come to your old address. Carrying a sixpack, because you were going to have a few drinks with a friend, but can't seem to raise them on the phone - you were going to get tickets to [insert speed metal band here]. While you're saying all this, you plonk your backpack on the table. A copy of 'The Gay Science', or something else he may have used as background reading for his class, falls out.

― moley, Friday, 24 August 2007 22:31 (eighteen years ago)

that is an AWESOME plan!! and i think it could totally work for you, rozymuzak :)

― Rubyredd, Friday, 24 August 2007 22:35 (eighteen years ago)

Cheers. Let it be my gift - to a perfect stranger!

― moley, Friday, 24 August 2007 22:38 (eighteen years ago)

Jesus Christ, that plan is close to brilliant. Insert Alice Cooper for speedmetal band though, as he likes him and he is getting ready to play here, omg!

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 25 August 2007 00:56 (eighteen years ago)

The title of this thread should be amended to:

A second chance with a perfect stranger: MySpace.

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 25 August 2007 17:20 (eighteen years ago)

haha fuck i was hitting on a nice-lookin' girl on the tube today, eye contact, she came over to sit next to me, didn't even give her my email address :(

gave her a nice dirty wink tho :D

― Just got offed, Sunday, 26 August 2007 01:31 (eighteen years ago)

― Hurting 2, Sunday, 26 August 2007 01:33 (eighteen years ago)

sick

I tried to find this guy last night all over town, no dice.

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 26 August 2007 21:18 (eighteen years ago)

kudos 2 moley for best plan ever

ew 2 lou

luxorz 2 roxy

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 26 August 2007 22:00 (eighteen years ago)

(luxors=lucks)

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 26 August 2007 22:00 (eighteen years ago)

I did go by my old/his current house, but it didn't look like anyone was home. I will prevail!

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 26 August 2007 22:11 (eighteen years ago)

ugh, he just walked swiftly by the coffee shop in bar direction. should i run out??

― roxymuzak, Monday, 27 August 2007 01:55 (eighteen years ago)

He has weird arms. What a hotbox!

― roxymuzak, Monday, 27 August 2007 01:56 (eighteen years ago)

chase him!!

― Rubyredd, Monday, 27 August 2007 02:04 (eighteen years ago)

i tried. the last time i chased him into the road to no avail was one year ago almost exactly! :(

― roxymuzak, Monday, 27 August 2007 02:06 (eighteen years ago)

keep trying!

moley's plan really is superb - i think you should do your best to implement it.

― Rubyredd, Monday, 27 August 2007 02:09 (eighteen years ago)

Jesus Christ, when I saw him just now I felt like I was actually having a heart attack for a second. He is my favorite thing in Knoxville this summer.

― roxymuzak, Monday, 27 August 2007 02:11 (eighteen years ago)

forget complicated plans, just go up to him and ask him out yo.

― s1ocki, Monday, 27 August 2007 02:18 (eighteen years ago)

IF I COULD EVER FUCKING FIND HIM I WOULD, JESUS!!!

― roxymuzak, Monday, 27 August 2007 02:18 (eighteen years ago)

i like the complicated plan. then you'll have a good story to tell us.

― Rubyredd, Monday, 27 August 2007 02:25 (eighteen years ago)

He sounds intriguing. Weird arms how?

made me smile:
Once he said something to it outright, can't remember what it was. Maybe "Oh, no."

I'm with you, I'd go someone who is so engrossed in a book that they talk to it.

― Hard like armour, Monday, 27 August 2007 02:49 (eighteen years ago)

I hate to say it, but slocki is right about this.

― moley, Monday, 27 August 2007 08:54 (eighteen years ago)

IF I COULD EVER FUCKING FIND HIM I WOULD

Roxy you keep seeing him! Next time, talk to him first, post to ILE second :)

― Mark C, Monday, 27 August 2007 11:12 (eighteen years ago)

I hate to say it, but slocki is right about this.

Yes. I chuckled when I read the convoluted plan but didn't take it for actual advice. I mean, it's a sitcom plot.

― jaymc, Monday, 27 August 2007 13:13 (eighteen years ago)

Keep seeing him?? Yes, once in a car, once running past coffee shop (and I tried to find him then...)

re: the arms, just kind of weirdly gangly...?

― roxymuzak, Monday, 27 August 2007 20:51 (eighteen years ago)

Why not get him to post here and we'll all talk you up?

― kv_nol, Monday, 27 August 2007 20:55 (eighteen years ago)

That seems a mistake, in light of this thread.

― roxymuzak, Monday, 27 August 2007 21:05 (eighteen years ago)

No, no, RL ilxor soap operas are great!

― Hard like armour, Monday, 27 August 2007 22:24 (eighteen years ago)

except it wouldn't be "real life."

― s1ocki, Monday, 27 August 2007 22:35 (eighteen years ago)

You have seen him in the flesh at least 4 times, according to this thread, you know where he lives, what music he likes, your friends know him, you know how he talks, what he reads, what he drives, and when he's playing. I reckon you'll have another chance :)

― Mark C, Monday, 27 August 2007 22:44 (eighteen years ago)

and possibly a restraining order

― milo z, Monday, 27 August 2007 22:53 (eighteen years ago)

When he's playing...?

― roxymuzak, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 00:16 (eighteen years ago)

We're making a metal band.

<3<3<3

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 6 September 2007 22:02 (eighteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

^^^This has not happened.

My car stalled out IN FRONT OF HIS HOUSE today like 50 times, and (of course) he was on the porch. I kept thinking how contrived it seemed.

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 4 October 2007 23:28 (seventeen years ago)

forget complicated plans, just go up to him and ask him out yo.

-- s1ocki, Monday, August 27, 2007 2:18 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

IF I COULD EVER FUCKING FIND HIM I WOULD, JESUS!!!

-- roxymuzak, Monday, August 27, 2007 2:18 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

― s1ocki, Friday, 5 October 2007 00:33 (seventeen years ago)

I am supposed to ask him out while holding up traffic. Brilliant, you guys.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 5 October 2007 00:51 (seventeen years ago)

or guy, i guess

― roxymuzak, Friday, 5 October 2007 00:51 (seventeen years ago)

YES. THE UNIVERSE WANTS YOU TO.

― s1ocki, Friday, 5 October 2007 00:58 (seventeen years ago)

*Hits head on steering wheel*

(again)

― roxymuzak, Friday, 5 October 2007 00:59 (seventeen years ago)

Sounds to me like events are conspiring to bring you together (haha slocki, x-post)

― moley, Friday, 5 October 2007 00:59 (seventeen years ago)

Pretty shitty "event", there, fate!

― roxymuzak, Friday, 5 October 2007 01:00 (seventeen years ago)

clearly you have to drive by again and your car will "break down" once more. then you ask to "use the phone". then you say, "since you let me use the phone, i have to take you to dinner". this cannot fail.

― omar little, Friday, 5 October 2007 01:02 (seventeen years ago)

That's terrible! <3

I'm just going to wait until it's not a fucking fly-by situation like always.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 5 October 2007 01:03 (seventeen years ago)

Embarassment is great, it really works for men - it makes you blush, increasing your beauty. You have clinched the deal!

― moley, Friday, 5 October 2007 01:04 (seventeen years ago)

Too bad I was WEARING A RIDICULOUS PAIR OF AVIATORS/disgustingly sweaty/dressed like an idiot/UGGGGGGGGGH.

If I had been pretty today I would have done a Tawny Kitaen impersonation on the car, believe me.

http://www.yarnandorder.com/yarnandorder/images/2007/03/16/whitesnake_kitaen_7.jpg

― roxymuzak, Friday, 5 October 2007 01:10 (seventeen years ago)

No such thing as bad press, is how I'm choosing to look at today.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 5 October 2007 01:13 (seventeen years ago)

i dont have too much talking to strangers, its friend-crushes i have trouble with :-/

― deej, Friday, 5 October 2007 01:19 (seventeen years ago)

frushes

― s1ocki, Friday, 5 October 2007 05:41 (seventeen years ago)

anyway ya those are the worst. you really gotta make your intentions clear before it turns into friendship. do or die.

― s1ocki, Friday, 5 October 2007 05:42 (seventeen years ago)

four weeks pass...

He just wrote me a long email. (!) Within it he states that he has not been out much in the last couple months. This explains why I have not seen him anywhere in a while.

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 3 November 2007 23:38 (seventeen years ago)

ILX has less threads like this these days?

― admrl, Saturday, 3 November 2007 23:40 (seventeen years ago)

I've often thought about how, logically, it's sort of imperative that you give every 'chance' a chance by taking some sort of initiative, presumably in the form of verbal interaction... but what does this make you?? Some jackass casanova. So I just do nothing. I guess the answer is trusting your gut or something.

― wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 3 November 2007 23:49 (seventeen years ago)

I don't know if it makes you a jackass Casanova.

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 4 November 2007 00:40 (seventeen years ago)

DATE

― roxymuzak, Friday, 16 November 2007 16:01 (seventeen years ago)

there you go

― s1ocki, Friday, 16 November 2007 16:06 (seventeen years ago)

Slow and steady wins the race? Perhaps.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 16 November 2007 16:07 (seventeen years ago)

Amateurist - I'm ready now.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 November 2007 16:10 (seventeen years ago)

(!)

― roxymuzak, Friday, 16 November 2007 17:24 (seventeen years ago)

It is a black metal date!!!!

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 18 November 2007 22:47 (seventeen years ago)

details plz

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 18 November 2007 23:07 (seventeen years ago)

We are going to go see Enslaved in some other town.

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 18 November 2007 23:22 (seventeen years ago)

black metal? are you sure he is right for a glam rocker like yourself? (judging from your name).

― CaptainLorax, Monday, 19 November 2007 03:19 (seventeen years ago)

do you even like Roxy Music?

― CaptainLorax, Monday, 19 November 2007 03:22 (seventeen years ago)

No this is cool, indie and black metal crossed streams in about 2003 in some kind of bizarre harmonic convergence event, making it OK for indie chicks and dudes to date heavy metal chicks and dudes. The newly opened portal between the two scenes will close in about 2009, presaged by the much dreaded arrival of an indie/BM retro band from Australia on the international festival circuit. In fact, the arrival of this band from Australia will indicate that BM and indie kids will have no more than 12 months to get together from that point on. When the portal closes, there will be no more crossover. Seize the night, Roxy!

― moley, Monday, 19 November 2007 04:00 (seventeen years ago)

It is indeed a delightfl pairing, and like one of the first dates I had w/my man was Isis concert (summat diffs, I dunno) and WHOA amazing whoa whoa and fun (plus we were ridic stoned but etc).

― Abbott, Monday, 19 November 2007 04:25 (seventeen years ago)

But we both really like them. Would not go to Sleepytime Gorilla Museum w/me tho. What a fucking loss for him!

― Abbott, Monday, 19 November 2007 04:26 (seventeen years ago)

Are you two kidding? I listen exclusively to metal and bluegrass.

― roxymuzak, Monday, 19 November 2007 05:40 (seventeen years ago)

And wtf do you mean, do I "even" like Roxy Music?

― roxymuzak, Monday, 19 November 2007 05:41 (seventeen years ago)

when's the big date, roxy?

― Rubyredd, Monday, 19 November 2007 05:43 (seventeen years ago)

I'm not telling you all because you all will ruin it on purpose.

― roxymuzak, Monday, 19 November 2007 05:54 (seventeen years ago)

I pretty much just listen to adult contempo and like Cuneiform prog, and novelty songs. :(

― Abbott, Monday, 19 November 2007 06:17 (seventeen years ago)

Do you like Bernard Cribbins?

― roxymuzak, Monday, 19 November 2007 06:31 (seventeen years ago)

ok fair enough but you HAVE to come back and give us at least a short summary of how the date goes PLZ <3 <3 <3

― Rubyredd, Monday, 19 November 2007 10:40 (seventeen years ago)

Will do.

― roxymuzak, Monday, 19 November 2007 18:59 (seventeen years ago)

"But has anyone here ever passed up such an opportunity"

yes.

"only to find it granted again?"

no.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:32 (seventeen years ago)

Enslaved isn't coming up this way for like a month! this really is taking it slow!

― wanko ergo sum, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:34 (seventeen years ago)

It's in a week and a half!

― roxymuzak, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 00:43 (seventeen years ago)

Does ending up with a guy I've known for years and always gone "aw, if only" every time we met because circumstances were never right, but now they are and now we're together, count at all?

(Wargh horrible run on sentence there sorry)

― Trayce, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 02:55 (seventeen years ago)

"But has anyone here ever passed up such an opportunity"

yes.

"only to find it granted again?"

no.

But I totally did! Again and again!

And now it is working out gr8.

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 24 November 2007 02:48 (seventeen years ago)

SO WE WENT AND IT WAS AWESOME

― roxymuzak, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 18:59 (seventeen years ago)

I am so happy!

― Abbott, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 20:00 (seventeen years ago)

I thought that with all of this anticipation and not seeing him for a long time and everything, that I would see him again and be like "Oh. Disspointed." But he is better and cuter than I even rememebered. The show was AWESOME, Grutle is really something else. We had really, really a lot of fun.

― roxymuzak, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 20:24 (seventeen years ago)

I think we have another date. Does this mean we are "dating"!

― roxymuzak, Monday, 10 December 2007 00:09 (seventeen years ago)

I kissed a black metal girl on friday and now I am going to call her

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 10 December 2007 00:30 (seventeen years ago)

YAY ROXXXXXXXXXXXXXXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Rubyredd, Monday, 10 December 2007 00:37 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.auctiontecs.com/aberdeen/7-26-07/images/Art%20Deco%20Cast%20Iron%20Nude%20Statue.jpg

― Heave Ho, Monday, 10 December 2007 00:39 (seventeen years ago)

^^^post of the week

― Just got offed, Monday, 10 December 2007 00:40 (seventeen years ago)

nice one heave!

― roxymuzak, Monday, 10 December 2007 01:02 (seventeen years ago)

haven't called

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 10 December 2007 01:17 (seventeen years ago)

is she cuet? smart? dont blow your second stupid chance, jon!1

― roxymuzak, Monday, 10 December 2007 01:22 (seventeen years ago)

yes and yes

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 10 December 2007 01:34 (seventeen years ago)

black (african-american) metal girl

black metal (musical subgenre) girl

black (african-american) black metal (musical subgenre) girl

― remy bean, Monday, 10 December 2007 01:36 (seventeen years ago)

OR:

black (african-american) metal (larger umbrella-genre) girl

― roxymuzak, Monday, 10 December 2007 03:20 (seventeen years ago)

jon, ever figure out if that was really her number?

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 13 December 2007 23:24 (seventeen years ago)

I figured out her email address and emailed her this afternoon. NB: I figured it out because she told me her domain name in between facesucking.... We'll see. Perusal of her webpage reveals "avant" taste in music and a mutual friend (who I am hoping she might mention me to as he loooooves me)

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 13 December 2007 23:36 (seventeen years ago)

she told me her domain name in between facesucking

You should marry this girl.

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 13 December 2007 23:37 (seventeen years ago)

That phrase makes me fear the answer to the above questions is "black (color of spraypaint) metal (material robots are made of) girl"

― nabisco, Thursday, 13 December 2007 23:40 (seventeen years ago)

So awesome! I think Jon has really met his match.

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 13 December 2007 23:41 (seventeen years ago)

...loading FACESUCK.dll
...error reading from mydomain.org: resume?
...logging user Catsupppppppppppppp dude
...initializing

― nabisco, Thursday, 13 December 2007 23:44 (seventeen years ago)

(who I am hoping she might mention me to as he loooooves me)

men do this!?

― roxymuzak, Friday, 14 December 2007 00:00 (seventeen years ago)

not straight men

― chaki, Friday, 14 December 2007 00:04 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.auctiontecs.com/aberdeen/7-26-07/images/Art%20Deco%20Cast%20Iron%20Nude%20Statue.jpg

Nope, still anti-clockwise.

― StanM, Friday, 14 December 2007 00:06 (seventeen years ago)

You are obsessed with that, Stan!

― roxymuzak, Friday, 14 December 2007 00:24 (seventeen years ago)

R not! She's a perfect stranger and this is the second image of her I see, so :-)

― StanM, Friday, 14 December 2007 07:39 (seventeen years ago)

AW, good job seizing your second chance, Stan!

― roxymuzak, Friday, 14 December 2007 07:43 (seventeen years ago)

I have said "Stan" too much, maybe.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 14 December 2007 07:43 (seventeen years ago)

I don't mind, go right ahead.

― StanM, Friday, 14 December 2007 09:17 (seventeen years ago)

So, I guess we are definitely "dating."

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 23 December 2007 15:58 (seventeen years ago)

nice one stan

― s1ocki, Sunday, 23 December 2007 16:13 (seventeen years ago)

I am not dating STAN!

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 23 December 2007 16:15 (seventeen years ago)

so have you yet or what??

― wanko ergo sum, Sunday, 23 December 2007 22:52 (seventeen years ago)

Fresh!

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 23 December 2007 23:10 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2005/06/16/fondue_graduate_wideweb__430x396.jpg

― gr8080, Sunday, 23 December 2007 23:26 (seventeen years ago)

He's older than me! Otherwise otm.

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 23 December 2007 23:29 (seventeen years ago)

three weeks pass...

he introduced himself to my sister and said he was my BF

― roxymuzak, Friday, 18 January 2008 16:37 (seventeen years ago)

i still havent had my 2nd chances.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Saturday, 19 January 2008 19:49 (seventeen years ago)

four months pass...

shit, this happened again yesterday. i loathe myself.

― mr x, Monday, 26 May 2008 10:24 (seventeen years ago)

life's short. just talk to her, ya jerk!

― dell, Monday, 26 May 2008 10:30 (seventeen years ago)

you guys are both human beings. deifying a crush is all well and good, but comes a time when it just becomes insulting to the other person

― dell, Monday, 26 May 2008 10:34 (seventeen years ago)

its too late. i was waiting for the train, this *stupidly* hot blonde girl who i sat next to flashed this humongous smile at me, so i was just like (softly) 'hi'. but then she went back to reading her paper. i thought she was with her BF (i dont think it was now) cos she was with a guy sitting next to her. but then she looked at me again while i sat a few seats away on the train but then i got off.

yes, i feel like i insulted her and passed up a pefectly good opportunity.

i seem to do this quite often though.

i dont know whats wrong with me.

― mr x, Monday, 26 May 2008 10:36 (seventeen years ago)

that sounds like an ambiguous enough situation, though, such that it's hard to read

― dell, Monday, 26 May 2008 10:41 (seventeen years ago)

big smile is nothing to sneeze at, though. hmmm...

― dell, Monday, 26 May 2008 10:42 (seventeen years ago)

true. it might have been nothing. but you should seize things like that even if its nothing. just to make sure its nothing. (and maybe see if it could be something).

― mr x, Monday, 26 May 2008 10:45 (seventeen years ago)

stuff's weird like that. i was at a bar a month ago, and this cute girl smiled at me, and i got weirded out b/c she was sitting next to this guy that i assumed was her boyfriend. i ended up talking to her, though, and it turned out that the guy was her gay housemate. things worked out well after that, so...it never hurts to go out on a limb or whatever.

― dell, Monday, 26 May 2008 10:51 (seventeen years ago)

There was a saying among my friends in college (introduced during a mandatory date-rape discussion session) that "a smile is not a season pass." Glad to see the ILX guys don't take it as one...but dudes, it's okay to say hi!

― Maria, Monday, 26 May 2008 11:22 (seventeen years ago)

"it's okay to say hi!"

glad to see.

but hey, passing up chances is character building.

― mr x, Monday, 26 May 2008 11:37 (seventeen years ago)

eh, one day you'll find such a love that your heart will all but explode...and then you'll eventually grow to resent each other...or best-case scenario, you'll have to watch each other get sick and die; that after you get to watch each other's parents get sick and die.

that might build some character.

― dell, Monday, 26 May 2008 11:51 (seventeen years ago)

dell, have you read smilla's sense of snow? you might appreciate its outlook on love...the cynicism and misanthropy are certainly bringing joy to my glumness! (if i weren't at work, and the book at home, i'd type out quotes.)

― Maria, Monday, 26 May 2008 12:24 (seventeen years ago)

no, i'll check it out, though. thanks for bringing it to my attention!

― dell, Monday, 26 May 2008 12:28 (seventeen years ago)

dell ive done that already. ;)

― mr x, Monday, 26 May 2008 12:41 (seventeen years ago)

normal people pull strangers on public transport the whole time, in my experience.

/not really

― darraghmac, Monday, 26 May 2008 12:43 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

fuck.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 11:01 (seventeen years ago)

must start drinking more again.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 11:01 (seventeen years ago)

titch!!!! did u blow your second chance?!

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 3 July 2008 00:15 (seventeen years ago)

A second chance with OS8

― Steve Shasta, Thursday, 3 July 2008 00:19 (seventeen years ago)

maybe a third chance with an increasingly wary prey

― omar little, Thursday, 3 July 2008 00:20 (seventeen years ago)

actually i didnt blow the second chance. i blew the first chance. hopefully a second chance to blow will come around soon.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Thursday, 3 July 2008 10:26 (seventeen years ago)

second chances to blow suck, sorry friend.

― strgn, Thursday, 3 July 2008 10:32 (seventeen years ago)

im pretty good at blowing these things in general, whether its the 1st or 2nd time is unimportant.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Thursday, 3 July 2008 10:49 (seventeen years ago)

i believe that's what's called "stinkin thinkin", titch

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 3 July 2008 23:42 (seventeen years ago)

To inspire you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXmLRHnoSAs

― roxymuzak, Thursday, 3 July 2008 23:43 (seventeen years ago)

i sung along with every word :)

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 4 July 2008 09:33 (seventeen years ago)

five months pass...

broken up

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 6 December 2008 19:56 (sixteen years ago)

ha, and perusal of this thread confirms that this occurred on our anniversary

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 6 December 2008 19:56 (sixteen years ago)

hes mad about the animal collective leak huh

― deej, Saturday, 6 December 2008 19:57 (sixteen years ago)

that's what grady said too

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 6 December 2008 19:58 (sixteen years ago)

i am a gr80 sock

― deej, Saturday, 6 December 2008 19:59 (sixteen years ago)

http://blog.art21.org/2008/12/09/perfect-strangers-man-or-beast/
"In sculptor Kate Clark’s first New York solo show, she debuts animal portraits with an unnerving twist; her taxidermied bear, cougar, fawn and gazelles have human faces. Sounds like a recipe for kitsch, but the presence of the bizarre man-beast creatures is arresting."

GAH:
http://blog.art21.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/animal-composite.jpg
<embed src="http://blip.tv/play/Ad2oYY_SPA"; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="390" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed>

― forksclovetofu, Wednesday, 10 December 2008 17:07 (sixteen years ago)

My fiance's aspergish little sister would be into those.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Wednesday, 10 December 2008 17:20 (sixteen years ago)

― gabbneb, Wednesday, 10 December 2008 17:36 (sixteen years ago)

sorry roxy

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Wednesday, 10 December 2008 18:03 (sixteen years ago)

s'ok

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Thursday, 11 December 2008 17:55 (sixteen years ago)

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