ILX Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball League 2003 -- Part 3: Still going . . .

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Stick a fork in Jay-Z and Nas, 'cuz they are done. More I Love Baseball trash-talk here!

This thread is continued from:

ILX Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball League 2003 -- Part 2 . . .

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

whoops, you'll see mine too... might as well delete it.

(my quest for question/response stat ratio is failed).

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry gygax!

Good grief, I have 114 strikeouts AND Nomo is starting today. It's mine it's mine all mine all the strikeouts I'm gonna win all the money, all the money yesssssss . . .

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

And the yips are contagious - get in front of the ball, Moises!

I felt very comforted as a Cubs fan to see Moises Alou booting the ball around. Alou literally did not know where the ball was. I feel reassured by the predictable, like a dog going in its crate.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Uniforms: Along with Dodgers the Tigers have (or had) thee whitest home uniforms. That navy blue (or black) D on their chest is fabulous as well. Not sure if they even wear'em anymore.

do any teams still wear stirrups? I covet them.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh the Tigers sure do have those home uniforms. The "D" is tremendous. But we are trying to put a total package together here for our overseas fan.

Stirrups are just a way of wearing the sock covers. I don't care for the look but some young guys are bringing 'em back. Hur hur I said "Some young guy."

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

The worst is players whose pants go all the way down to their shoe tops. Lets see some sock! And christ, the Indians went to the sleeveless look this year. It's also time to ban solid navy blue jerseys. I'm emotionally exhausted.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark Mulder! He looks cute that way bc the shoes are so whitey too. He looked sad last night :(

HATE the vest look. The Reds are just silly.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 15:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I love the Padres' camo look, though. very shock&awe

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't seen the Padres. Maybe it's because they're in camo.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Here's one of the honeys in my rotation, Brian Lawrence:

http://espn.go.com/media/outdoors/2002/0410/photo/a_padres_i.jpg

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

ARRRRRGH!!!!

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

http://store5.yimg.com/I/distantreplays_1735_139854951

baseball needs this

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Dmitri Young is the king of ill-fitting attire.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

JT Snow is wearing his socks high. What is not to love about him this year?

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

What's up with those new Red Sox red uniforms?? Sacriligious if you asked me!

Maybe he should root for the St. Louis Cardinals? Tons of history, one of the best baseball towns in the country, decent team, etc. etc.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not often a pitching performance at Double-A becomes the buzz of a big league clubhouse, but what Rich Harden has done lately isn't exactly run of the mill. Last week, the A's were talking about Harden's performance in Round Rock, Texas. Harden pitched another seven perfect innings, giving him 13 straight without allowing a base runner. That's 39 up, 39 down. He has struck out 17 batters. The A's saw enough that they decided to promote their top prospect to Triple-A Sacramento after that game. It's conceivable Harden will take John Halama's spot and be in the big leagues before the All-Star break. "He announced his presence with authority," A's assistant to the general manager David Forst said.

http://www.sportsline.com/mlb/teams/report/OAK/6315627

(I have him in my minor league slot in my $$$ league, I'll have you know, felicity)

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

No way! AA you say? Do you have Rick Ankiel too?

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't have Ankiel. My other minor leaguers: Rafael Soriano (future Mariners starter) and Joe Borchard (future White Sox outfielder).

I can't find a pic of Harden anywhere!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

What level is Danny Almonte at?

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I think he's the D-Rays' opening day starter next year.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Well good for him. He might actually have a career in that case, unlike if he were heading to David Duncan's House of Pain or being delivered unto Jeff Torborg, the other Angel of Death for young pitchers.

Oops(josh beckett)I mean the Marlins is a fine place for young starting pitchers to go.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.midlandrockhounds.org/2003%20Players/harden.jpg
Bats: Left
Throws: Right
Height: 6-01
Weight: 180 lbs.
Date Of Birth: 11-30-81
Residence: Victoria, British Columbia

[for yancey cuz i got his package... thanks!!!!]

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

He's a bit young, but I'd fuck him.

Glad you got the package, gygax! Lemme know what you think.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

There is not enough trash talk here! Torii Hunter, I own you! Make yourself useful! IRON MY SHIRT!

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Lemme check and see who my players are again and then the trash-talk will commence.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

WAIT! You are trading FOR Roger Cedeno, felicty?????

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Why, do you have someone better to offer for Wells?

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

For David Wells? No way would I want Wells!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Fine. Like in NASCAR, let's remember who our friends are, and when the train goes by, who's gonna get hung out to dry . . .

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Cedeno is a bum.

Need a good start from Burly-mon tonite...

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Come now you people can talk trash better than that! I'm disappointed.

< /meta >

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn it, I wanted to use the IRON MY SHIRT line! Especially now that I actually have a save! PHEAR KKKKKYLE!

Felicity, why would you willfully want a Met on your team? Do you covet hitters Ks, too? And a Met outfielder, too? If your boy Moises was dressed like Kris Kross & forced to cleanly field line drives hit w/ aluminum bats, you'd still have less Es (& bruises) than w/ Cedeno fielding ground-hugging singles.

(Is that trashy enough, Ms. R? I think I tried too hard.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

NOTE TO ESPN ANCHORS: All future stories concerning the Masters' no-chixor policy - work on your Cartman voices and speak of pot pies and Cheesy Poofs.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Ramiro Mendoza is getting yanked from the game in the 8th after giving up 2 runs in a 5-1 BoSox-led game. Boo-birds are omnipresent. The Beatles' "We Can Work it Out" is playing in the background. Yeehaw.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Mike Timlin with the 2-run single (by proxy via Marlon Anderson). Tie game for the Siznox. Yeehaw.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Note: I am k-stupid for not being able to differentiate between the K column and the Save column.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

What the hell is wrong with White Sox fans?

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

What the hell is wrong with Felipe Alou? Neifi Perez is one-for-twenty for a reason!

What IS wrong w/ White Sox fans, BTW, BNW?

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

who did they attack now?

― hstencil, Wednesday, 16 April 2003 03:59 (twenty-two years ago)

an ump, the guy got his ass kicked, it was kinda funny (nothing on the scale of Ryan vs. Ventura but still)

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm waiting for Mesa / Vizquel. With the Piazza / Mota undercard. And maybe some Bowa / Rolen tusslin'.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Yanc3y enjoy your Josh Beckett. At least I have Fisherspooneybarger :P

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Why does everyone assume it's a Sox fan and not a Royals fan? Or more importantly impugn all fans of either team?

RACISTS!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"White" Sox

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

2 E-9s... orlando merced.

it wasn't that windy...

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Jesse Foppert.

I would consider you a piece of ass.

Very truly yours,

felicity

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Do the names Chad Kreuter or Randall Kirk Meyers ring a bell?

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:53 (twenty-two years ago)

p.s. Jesse Foppert: IRON MY SHIRT

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

DID YOU KNOW that the little gremlin living in Jimy Williams' mouth (the one that makes him start Jose Vicaino & Orlando Merced more times per week - once - than 4 out of 5 doctors recommend - zero) caused Orlando to make those awful, egregious, graceless turd-like errors. True story.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

And, Ms. Redwell, have you considered possibly putting Mr. Jason LaRue in your catching HOTT seat? Diane Sawyer already called dibs on Ausmus, and LaRue can, like, hit. Sorta.

By the way, I associate IRON MY SHIRT with hockey checks. Not to be confused with hockey Czechs (ha ha). I should go to bed now.

PS - WASH MY BACK

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

oh to be a hard-working journeyman pitcher.

phone: ring ring
Rick Helling: Yello? Yes, I eat innings for a living. Ok, be right there.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i was less than impressed with jimy last night when he left in wade miller after 2 walks and over 100+ pitches to face aurilia and bonds.

what an insult to their releivers.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Sticking up for my own hottie, KKKKurt Ainsworth:

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 05:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Are my eyes deceiving me or is the battle for the most K's heating up?
Can the HOTTT staff respond?

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm wearing double the usual amount of tinfoil on my head today due to the fact that all the MLB managers got together yesterday and PURPOSELY BENCHED HALF MY STARTING LINEUP! My death grip on sixth place continues however.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Baldelli.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

My team can beat up all y'alls team. We have have Richie "the Ogre" Sexson.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

PHEAR MY 40 POINT LEAD! BOO-YA!

(is that good trash talk, Felicity? you got robbed in that Cedeno-Wells trade btw.)

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

you are on the way to destruction. make your time.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 13:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I know, it's fun while it lasts.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

dude, you give up the trash too quickly. you're spozed ta make fun of me for having eric an-error-every-game almonte at shortstop.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Are my eyes deceiving me or is the battle for the most K's heating up?
Can the HOTTT staff respond?

WTF? That punk Ted Lilly struck out 10 to vault the Zambonies over CDKs? I can't stand Ted Lilly! Oh well, I OWN 9th place.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

dude, you give up the trash too quickly. you're spozed ta make fun of me for having eric an-error-every-game almonte at shortstop.

I guess I'm like the humble first place team... but okay, lemme try this again....

My team has TURDS that are more powerful than your entire lineup! Biatch!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

http://pages.ripco.net/~dymaxia/soxfan2.jpg

highlights from last night's sox / royals game

― Kerry (dymaxia), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Last night's Sex Royals game? This I believe.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

http://sportsmed.starwave.com/media/mlb/2003/0415/photo/a_fan2_i.jpg

Senior police officials say the fan arrested in the Chicago/Kansas City game was said to be a member of the notorius gang Chicks Dig Kaos.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

!!!!!

low blow!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Did anyone notice how he got the cut on his head? One of the Royals clubbed him with a baseball! Nice!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

mark p did you see the trade offer i made you the other day?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

No! Where?

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

On the site. I think it was Burnett, Hudson & German for A Rod and V. Wells....

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't get an e-mail.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

And anyway I'm Canadian, not retarded.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Matt Morris just hit a homerun.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

How would that be retarded? You need pitching! I have way too much pitching and not enough hitting. Is parting with Vernon Wells troubling you?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

No need to get in a catfight just because of your great big man-crush on A-Rod, Y!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Yesterday you complain about no trash talk and now you're coming at me for too much trash talk? Are you just pissed cuz I'm the KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKing of KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK's?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I needed bullpen help and speed/runs. I've made moves for Guardado and Shannon Stewart, but to the general detriment of my infield (see: my waiver acquisition of Fred McGriff).

Granted, my starting pitching has been really bad, but I'm hoping Halladay and Mulder can come around. As for the trade - V-Dub's been the best player on my team by far (14 runs, 18 RBIs) and A-Rod's a sure thing...

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

You all need to get All Star Baseball 2004 for PS2. It rocks.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I know, mark. I wasn't really expecting you to take the trade. Just trying to generate talks, cuz I think I'm the only player who hasn't made a trade yet! I really do need to lose some of my starting pitching though.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Speaking of trades, why did the Wells/Cedeno swap get vetoed?

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Because you all convinced me it was stupid.

Y, you may be the King of the K's but I am still the ACE of Ks! FEAR!

Anyway,
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
STATS ARE FOR LOSERS

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

oh and I almost forgot

IRON MY SHIRT

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

All you folx wheeling and dealing like Gord Ash on meth are aware that the season is barely two weeks old, right?

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.tsn.ca/images/stories/20021006/GordAsh_47216.jpg

"Shut up or I will eat you."

― for tsn, i'm gord ash (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Diamond, you're just jealous of the sign-and-trade I did with Biddle and Lo Duca.

When the leaves are brown, I'll be wearing the crown.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

If I aquire Rennie Stennet
I win the pennant

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Thank God spelling isn't part of this league.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

or poetry

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

SMOKE MY SALMON

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Scott Rolen with two homers! Matt Morris with a homer! Eli Marrero playing center field! It's Cardinal baseball!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Sammy "My Bat Redeems my Arm" Sosa with a homer! Damian "Not on my Pitcher's E.R.A." Miller with a passed ball unearned run and a homer! Hee Seop "My Bat Redeems My Glove" Choi with an error, a homer and a base-on-balls "RBI"! Carlos "Mmmm . . . Innings" Zambrano with 7 strikeouts in 6 IP! It's Cubs baseball!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

And Mike DeJean has a perfect, 9-pitch, inning of mop-up! It's Brewers baseball!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I love Brewers baseball!

heh, felicity you could actually convince me to drink the blue kool aid. They are playing pretty darn well.

Kordell Stewart just did the seventh inning stretch, and your boy Juan Cruz is getting ready to come in.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

...and just as I finish typing a Moises ALou three-run shot.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Kordell says "sweet" like it's nobody's business but Isaac Hayes'. Sweet.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

persistent rumor = kordell's gay. ya think it's just those sweaters he wears?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

A Cincinnati starter sucks! The Cincinatti bullpen sucks! Riedling throws two wild pitches in the same AB! Bob Boone drags his closer into a 7-2 game in the 5th inning! Austin "U.S." Kearns gets pitched around 3 times in 4 ABs! It's Reds baseball!

Over/under on Senor Boone getting canned / caned? May 15th?

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

ELEVEN WALKS! ELEVEN HITS! Maybe the Cubbies can use bigger gloves to help their fielding woes?

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Alou with a homer!? That's Pocket baseball!!!

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

THE CUBS ARE AN OFFENSIVE JUGGERNAUT

I can already Rich Eisen saying "Got it" in his "Chicago" voice over the home run highlights tonight.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Guthries in and is mowing'em down like so much bermuda grass. Well, on K so far.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

one k

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Funny - I can already hear Stuart Scott saying "Booyah!" in his mouth-filled-with-baby-back-ribs voice over the homer highlights.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Good job, Carlos Zambrano, but 3 walks??!! People, do you know how hard it is to maintain my razor-thin 1.05 team WHIP?

I know, you're trying your best to care.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do we have redundant categories WHIP and TB again? I think I missed that class.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

to boost the worth of middle relievers (typically undervalued in fantasy)

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, but TB must not be too redundant because for some reason that stat is killing my staff (relatively).

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

ooh, middle reliever heaven! I suddenly love the TB stat. *cue Spooneybarger mound music*

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

mr. diamond,

i just did a quick correlation analysis between TB and the other pitching stats and the most similar fit to TB is ERA (WHIP was 2nd to W in least similar).

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

hmm... I'm just trying to figure it out. It shouldn't really affect the contribution of MR, it applies equally to all pitchers. All we're doing is penalizing pitchers for extra-base hits. I guess a lot of pitchers give up a lot of extra base hits, which I suppose gives it some weight. And is why it correlates more to ERA than WHIP. ok.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

WHIP was 2nd to W in least similar

and yet I (co-)rule them both oh yes

One Staff to Rule Them All and in Handcuffs Bind Them

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

as per MR: it is one more added metric that weights pitchers' efforts based on performance rather than Wins/Saves/Holds. I included it as an equalizer.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Makes sense. I'm a believer! The scales have fallen from my eyes!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

give it up for the Al Levines and Mike Stantons of the world!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

don't forget Remlinger!

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

top 10 players in ILX fantasy league (as of 4/15/03) season to date:

mike mussina
barry bonds
jose cruz, jr.
mark prior
todd helton
kerry wood
runelvys hernandez
kyle lohse
jake peavy
lance carter

as the season wears on, pitchers (non-every day players) will become less of a factor.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I still have a stranglehold on holds (hur hhur)! My one area of uncontested pitching dominance (I'm looking at you Aaron and CDKs).

And phear my power -- Larry Walker and Pujols have combined for a whopping 4 HRs, but once they get back on track -- WUHOH FOR YOU GUYS.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I still have a stranglehold on holds (hur hhur)! My one area of uncontested pitching dominance (I'm looking at you Aaron and CDKs).

How I rue the day I released David Weathers!

< /gnash>

I'll just cry into my big bag of K's/ERA/WHIP.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

as the season wears on, pitchers (non-every day players) will become less of a factor.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

gygax!, did you make a typo in your list? Where's "Rich Aurilia"?

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

playing short stop for the best team in baseball!

where you at, yo?

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Jim Hendry went and got Aurilia for the Cubs?

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

as the season wears on, pitchers (non-every day players) will become less of a factor.

I dunno . . . I have never done roto before but isn't 1250 maximum innings of pitching kind of a lot in a league where we carry about 10 pitchers on staff? To max out absolute pitching stats like Ks, Hs, and Ws, don't you want to load up on good pitching NOW before your Pedro Martinezes and your Woody Williamses are breaking down. Fear my Jumbo Wells and his 200+ IP as we come barrelling down the home stretch!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:16 (twenty-two years ago)

162x9=1458
1250/1458=85.7%

(no need to start your pitchers every time, there is a strategy to be had here... on the road vs. colorado for example).

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

btw f,

at least my #1 pick is in the top 121 players ranked overall season to date. (maggs is #180)

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:21 (twenty-two years ago)

But your #1 could've been had in the second round, freeing you to pick up KEVIN MILLAR.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

What are those numbers. They confuse me.

Mmm ZitoPriorSpooney lalala

Yes but Maggs is a true "5-tool player." Is Aurilia? I see Aurilia exploded for between one and four stolen bases in each of his last 8 seasons in the Show.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

(My love of 5-tool players also explains why I passed over Vlad Guerrero for Ordonez)

But who's laughing at my Mark Prior draft now??!!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

multi-tool players are soooo last season, this fall it's all about balance, f.

why shoot your load on one dude when you can get your stats across all 9 offensive positions?

ps: i manage the #2 offensive team in our league! :-D

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

ps: "Rain delay" is not a stat

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

rain delays = oishii double headers in september!

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

How is Vlad not a 5-tool player? What're the tools, anyway? Miter saw, chisel, awl, pipe wrench, and vice?

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, wait - that would be a joke re: Vlad. Don't mind me - I haven't eaten yet. My owner forgot to fill my food dish. Again.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

(but yeah, it's pouring here, pull your giants and astros from your lineups)

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha too late, i forgot this game got bumped up to 4:15.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Are there any other 5-tool players besides Maggs and Vlad?

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Barry fucking Bonds

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

ROCCO!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

In theory.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

The Red Sox have a 5-tool bullpen.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

pull your giants and astros from your lineups

Not a problem, g! -- there are no Giants or Astros in my lineup to begin with. We have a steroid-free clubhouse here.

Matt Williams, you can come back inside the clubhouse now.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:44 (twenty-two years ago)

#2 and #3 in my top 10 are 5 tooling up a storm. GWTP!

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

~~Old Man~~ Barry "Juan Pierre Jr." Bonds has 3 stolen bases on the season already? Wow!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Barry don't run like he used to, gygax

Mike Cameron! Er, no.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Mike Sweeney (for a white guy)

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Robert Person?

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Jose Cruz Joonya.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

We have a steroid-free clubhouse here.

you can add HR-free and OPS-free to that list.

(i can see f. going to GNC after work tonight and loading up on bulk containers of creatine for her players.)

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I tried creatine once, I was on a 'over the counter baseball drugs' kick - it makes you pee ALOT. (weird coincidence: a girl in a Mark McGwire tee just walked by)

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

ephedrine's overrated also

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

mr. diamond,

i respectfully disagree.

not sure if it made national news but barry played hurt most of last season with a pulled hamstring. he refused to go on the DL. this off-season he worked specifically on healing it, taking a day off every week to rest it.

in 2003 spring training he stole quite a few bases. of the three bases he's stolen this season, no catcher has even attempted a throw. i encourage you to scout him out again before jumping to that conclusion.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

natural talent is soooo last season.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

you can add HR-free and OPS-free to that list.

Coincidence? I think not. :(

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

My offense is a gap hitter who always puts wood on the ball with declining power and no glove but still fast enough to nab a few bases.

― Hi! I'm Kenny Lofton! (Leee), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh and the Giants-Astros are on again. Woop woop!

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

currently looking out at a street approx. 1.75 miles from pac bell park there are cars driving with wipers on and lots of umbrellas...

don't get your hopes up!

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Was there an option to have pitchers batting stats count? We should do that in '04. (Go Matty Mo, you Wilco lovin' pretty boy!)

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

unfortunately (for f.): no offensive stats for pitchers are available.

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish that too!markprior

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

What a bunch of AL krap.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

i know... "Utility"!?! wtf evah...

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

gygax! I was talking about 5 yrs or so ago in ref to Bonds. He won't approach those levels again.

Boomer getting rocked! Maybe f should have done the trade after all.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, he's a lot heftier around the hips than he was 5 years ago. but see, that translates into power...

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it Spooneytime yet?

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Carl Everett is the breakout star of the early going!

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

btw I'm not arguing his overall greatness, I think he's the best player who ever played the game! I don't even need to add the "when it is all said and done" part! I know it to be true in my heart.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 17 April 2003 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Apr 15, 5:09 am EDT Rodriguez, Francisco (RP-Ana) add Waivers ChicksDigKs

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

VULTURE!

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 02:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Carl Everett's alright but the best to ever play the game might be taking it a bit far

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 17 April 2003 02:45 (twenty-two years ago)

D'oh!

f, I wuz thinking about grabbing him but I wasn't sure if I wanted to burn my #2 waiver. I might have to hold out for this Harden fuX0r that Yancey has a harden for.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 17 April 2003 02:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Half my pitching staff was acquired by FA and waiver. Fear me, I am a vulture's vulture.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 03:05 (twenty-two years ago)

you'll be waiting til the all-star break, apparently, diamond.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 03:15 (twenty-two years ago)

f, he was my final round draftee before i turned him loose. good luck with him.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(he's partly to blame for my ERA woes)

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

("partly")

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

:_(

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

*waves around 9-fingered foam hand*

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

antonio alfonseca to thread?

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Is there any practical difference between P, RP and SP when maintaining yr rosters?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

an SP can not play in an RP slot and conversely an RP can not play in an SP slot. it is yahoo!'s way of making sure you have no more than 5 starters or relievers eligible at any time.*

*unless of course they are eligible at both positions... :-D

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Commissioner gygax!, don't leave us! Beisboro no match for MLB!

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

it's too late!

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

era woes continue:

millwood and schoenweiss combined for a 22.09 today...

:_(

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe you picked up Shoenewe1s!

Q: What's the difference between Scott Schoenewe1s and a ditch digger?
A: Schoenewe1s is left-handed.

And HOTTTT!

(okay, that's extra)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

he is now on waivers, claim his stinky ass if you dare.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

okay, we've both blown his name:

s
c
h
o
e
n
e
w
e
i
s

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

u afraid scott's gonna google himself, f?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

he is now on waivers, claim his stinky ass if you dare.

No way! I mean it's important for relievers to have "roles" but the situational lefty 4-pitch walk specialist is taking it a bit far.

Yanc3y, I am more afraid of his Shoenestalker-ettes

*whistling*

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

you mean you'll get kicked out of the club for belittling his mound prowess?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

mound should've been written "mound"

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"mound prowess"...

*snicker*

i need some sleep

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Yanc3y, you are on! the! money!

Scott probably has almost as much free time to vanity-google as his "mound"mate Troy Percival. That guy hardly ever works!

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

What the hell do little-used relivers do in the bullpen all game?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

David Cone not to thread.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

They eat sunflower seeds and look pretty.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I bet they say they're "just keeping warm."

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus Colome posting to ILM as "EM@IL" shocker?

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:59 (twenty-two years ago)

who is EM@IL and why am i always attracted to the cybertrolls ("probably because you are a cybertroll gygax!")

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

You're like an online guidance counseler, gygax. You love all the lil chillen.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Fischerspooneylargemarger gives up a homer to -- GASP! -- RICKEY LEDEE!!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

YANC3Y DO YOU HAVE AN ACCENT

i lost mine long ago, where did it go? it comes around sometimes when i am tired (NOW) or drunk (?)

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

hstencil lost his too.

someone should set up a lost and found for accents.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

They build little voodoo shrines out of chewing gum and bobble-head dolls.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I have an accent when I'm back home in Virginia (lots of "yalls" and i drop all my "g's" (fishin', sangin', etc)), but otherwise no. Growing up I never had one even though my parents and friends all have heavy drawls => I am a freak of nature.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Cubs go postal on Cincy again.

Kerry Wood has more RBI than most of my position players.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Hee Seop Choi is the real deal! Where has he been all the cubs life?

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

gygax, Solomon Torres? Have you forgotten...? I move that the commish is no longer mentally fit to run ILB. I nominate myself to take his place.

My first act as commissioner: to change the 5 runs credited to Rockmeister gave up all into unearned runs.

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 18 April 2003 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

probably because you are a cybertroll gygax!

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 01:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Holy shit, HOW are all those Biddle runs earned? Vlad made an ERROR! COME ON! (Note: this is really a non-ILB issue, but you people understand me, so I feel secure in sharing my concerns w/ you.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 April 2003 01:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, Vlad's error was surreal. I did not recognize him.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 03:32 (twenty-two years ago)

JESSE OROSCO!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 April 2003 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

And he's pitching to a righty!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 April 2003 03:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Gah, he's mine! What's happening?

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 18 April 2003 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

1st and 2nd, one out. I have no idea why Bochy is still having him pitch.

Ah, but he's getting pulled right now.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 April 2003 03:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you have the full MLB package or something, popshots?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Is he holdifying David?!

Or he pitchingfrombehindifying?

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 18 April 2003 03:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, I do! It's the only thing I watch on TV anymore.

He was holdifying (3-0), but one of the runners he allowed OB scored thanks to Jaret Wright.

And Wright just blew the lead (4-3). Thanks, Jaret!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 April 2003 03:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw FUCK! So two runs charged to me and no hold?!

WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE - JARET WRIGHT

$10,000 REWARD

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 18 April 2003 03:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I THINK you might still get the hold, since Orosco didn't give up the lead, and he did get one out.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 April 2003 04:02 (twenty-two years ago)

oh yeah, you're right! ok, only $5000 for Wright then.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 18 April 2003 04:05 (twenty-two years ago)

You get the hold, doesn't matter if the guy after you blows (coug cough Benitez). Aargh my stranglehold.

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 18 April 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow, Diamond, that Orosco hold must have been the difference-maker to vault you above my team in standings.

Aaron W, may I commend you on your choice of catcher. Pudge is on a blazing hot pace for stolen bases! A 5-tool catcher? My god.

Goodbye Hideo Nomo and your many guaranteed Ks and Ws :~( Hello, Aaron Boone and your guaranteed starting lineup job.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew Pudge still had something in the tank. He's been in the league forever but is still 34, although I guess is 60 in catcher years. I've been getting stolen bases from all sort of unlikely places this season! Barry Bonds = 3!

Hello Hideo Nomo! Say hello to the rest of the rotation. Alex Gonzalez, I sure hope your early season batting prowess isn't a fluke, cuz we traded a good player away to get you into the starting lineup and the owner HATES to be wrong!!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 18 April 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Belated welcome also to Danny "Pretty Girls Make" Graves.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, a Reds closer's SURE to get lotsa save opportunities...

$$$ team woes: Lance Berkman & Brian Giles, why have you fucksaken me???

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Hush! I am desperate for saves! Thank god the Brewers burned Mike DeJean in a meaningless game on Wednesday because the 'Stros posed absolutely no threat last night oh no.

Is it wicked to root for Matt Mantei to get injured? (I have B. Kim,)

What would all our ILB teams' payroll be IRL? I bet I am the Devil Rays of ILB.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Ooh, yeah! We should institute a salary cap!

Do NOT root for Mantei to get hurt. He's on my $$$ team. And I own saves in that league (too big it's H2H, not 5X5). My closers: Gagne, McDougal, Worrell and Mantei.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Worrell is foyne.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I just realized that I have the entire NL West bullpen.

So I'm going to post a news story written by my $$$ league's commissioner. To read the story you should know that the team Murderaz Row was in our league (PBL) championship last year, but is off to a 1-3 start.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

http://profess.baseball.sportsline.com/images/news/murderazrowfans.jpg

(Row Fans Leanne and Dwayne await the W's)

Row Fans Upset

For Dwayne and Leanne Schmatz, hardcore Murderaz Row fans, things couldn't get much better than September 2002. Their team was scorching hot, en route to a PBL Championship Series clash with Joe Morgan's Old School Afro. Dwayne was almost done with his auto repair correspondence course, and Leanne had finally decided to take that third shot at her GRE.

Just a matter of seven months later, and things are not well for these fans of the Row. Dwayne's OxyContin habit has gotten, according to Leanne, "out of control." Leanne's hours at the Walmart SuperCenter in East Orange are mostly night shift.

"It's not all bad," Leanne is quick to say. "My manager says that I'm among the best non-handicapped workers on my shift."

Dwayne appears to be hitting rock bottom, however. He sniffs glue a lot, and keeps placing a jar of anal lube in plain view, hoping Leanne will say something about it.

Says Leanne, "But I told him no way, not until the Rows wins 2 in a row."

Dwayne's had difficulties with losing in the past. "I remember when I was a kid, I used to root for the Washington Generals. That old bastard who called himself my dad told me, 'they never win, the globetrotters always win.' I told him, 'fuck you, old man.' I just --" Dwayne's speech then breaks down into sobs until he sucks on a glass pipe packed with what appears to be freebase cocaine.

"I tell you what, the Row is the best goddamned team in that whole f-f-fucking league, and ... you want a hit of this?"

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha! "Joe Morgan's Old School Afro."

you want a hit of this?"

My brother almost killed me last night in a frenzy of Jung Bong jokes. Bong gets lit up, Bong good for a few hits, etc. *out of control giggling*

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, Joe Morgan's Old School Afro OWNZ our league. He ran away with it last year. He's a smart cookie, and a nice guy.

Those are great Bong jokes!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

they seemed hilarious at the time

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

They are hilarious! Last night my roommate & I were in tears cuz he kept saying "I love you" in a dog voice. (influence of Jung Bong-like substances on this hilarity cannot be confirmed or denied)

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

in a dog voice.

I am choking on silent office laughter and yet I am afraid to ask . . .

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

You know how on America's Funniest Videos (our favorite show, by the way), they'll have dogs who sound like they're actually saying something? We started mimicking this voice a while ago and do it pretty regularly now. So "I love you" = "Rhi Rhove Rou!" Giggles ensue.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I am imagining kind of a Scoopy Doo voice.

Yeah, I like America's Funniest Pets too or whatever that Animal Planet show is called. My friends had a miniture Australian sheepdog named Hank that played baseball who should have been on the show.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Kinda like Scooby Doo. You'll have to come over and watch AFV (that's what the kool kids kall it) to hear it for reals. America's Funniest Pets is just a cheap knockoff. Plus: No Tom Bergeron (also the host of Hollywood Squares -- HOW DOES HE FIND THE TIME?!?!?).

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait, how does Hank play baseball???

The drummer from Calla was on AFV a while back with his dog, which spins in circles when a toilet gets flushed. A very "eh" clip.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Hank is one of those OCD sheepdogs so when he gets excited he won't let go of whatever toy he has in his mouth, like a sock monkey but also wants to keep playing so if you throw a ball at him he spins in a circle and sometimes hits the ball with the toy he's holding in his mouth.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm getting Astro (from the Jetsons) vibes with this talking like a dog thing. And why isnt Astro the mascot of the Astros?

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

lawrence = OTM! that never even occured to me.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Ruh roh, the Pockets have fallen to 11th place. I take one day off of work and the whole team has gone to hell.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.cybercomm.nl/~ivo/photo_ASTRO6.GIF

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, quit jakin' it, Skip.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

ANNOUNCEMENT:
expect mild delays with commisioner duties for the next few weeks (~5/9/03). After all the we've been through I will make it up to you, I promise you. If you need to contact me use my yahoo email (Yanc3y, Felicity, David R.: Transcontinental text messaging runs ~$2.70/min... :-$ ), I will check my yahoo! account daily. :-D

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Look who's up to No. 4!!!

Lyle Overbay -> 10 game hitting streak.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Have fun gygax! Say hi to the pretty ladies for me!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(for $2.70 a minute, I expect some HOTT pitcher on pitcher action or nothing)

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(fuck: Nen is out for the whole season? He's having a REPEAT of the surgery he had 2 months ago... go Worrell and F.Rod)

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Not the whole season. I thought till the All-Star break?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

(for $2.70 a minute, I expect some HOTT pitcher on pitcher action or nothing)

Maybe there will be a Puffer-on-Bong matchup or something.

Nen is out for the whole season?

(in Laura Petrie voice) "Oh, Robb!"

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

p.s. Robb "Deep" Nen can stutter my step any time.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

nen

you're all invited:

T0KY0 FAP: Saturday 4/26 (Sunday 4/27) 1am-5am: gygaxagyg and zikiz spin 4 hours of absurd cybertroll nonsense at warszawa fourth floor (~kichijoji=>chou-shinjuku), it's private but come on by and say "gygax" and you're in (free too!).

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 18 April 2003 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Just don't get injured playing over there in Japan.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Reliever Scott Schoeneweis tried to pick off Rodriguez at first, but his wild throw allowed Everett to score and make it 5-4.

Schoeneweis didn't retire any of the three batters he faced. He hit Rafael Palmeiro with a pitch and walked Hank Blalock before rookie Mark Teixeira's two-run single up the middle.

Oh my god, that really is incompetent.

― f-Red (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I just did a translation of schoene and weis. It means "pretty show".

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 18 April 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

He eats ~~innings~~ ~~outs~~ ~~comebackers~~ sunflower seeds and looks pretty.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean that pitching performance really is so bad it's comical. It's as bad as when Manager Joe Shlabotnik called a suicide sqeeze play with no one on base. ("Don't cry, Joe, it smudges the autograph.")

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Does being a left-handed hurler mean never having to admit you suck?

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 April 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to tie my son's right arm behind his back starting at birth so I'm sure to get a southpaw. Then I'll just wait for the $$$ to roll in.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to force my son to squat for hours on end.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 18 April 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

PLAYER SALARY

Scott Schoeneweis $1,425,000

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty show he's overpayed.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 18 April 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Schoe him the money!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 18 April 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Speaking of overpaid:

Albert Belle - $12,368,790

That's a lotta crabcakes.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 April 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

...and he's still available in the Yahoo database! (it's true, look him up)

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 18 April 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

That's two nights of binge drinking for Joey!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 April 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Worrell was supposed to bring me holds, not saves! Oh, the master plan is crumbling, I'm thinking of drowning my sorrows in another name change.

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 18 April 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Plan B:

Hey Aaron, BBarry BBonds has been really rubbing ARod the wrong way, I heard they had a fite in the clubhouse, something like how BBonds has been trying to hit a homer every swing, challenging ARod's power domination. Let's just say that BBonds is not a charming clubhouse guy like, say, my secondbaseman Ray Durham, who brings great chemistry to any clubhouse.

And Felicity, word is that with all the manager-time Spooney has been getting, Prior is looking for someone else who'll appreciate his ace-ness.

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 18 April 2003 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

(My Dad skipped out on a chance to go hunting with the Todd 'the bod' Worrell.) (Also Lou Brock's kid went to my grade school, as did Ozzie Smith's, as did Jack Clark's, as did Bruce Sutter's (who my brother socked (the kid) for being an anti-Semite.))

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 18 April 2003 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Kris Benson, welcome to Dusty Baker's House of Pain!

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Dempster got through the day without giving up 10+ runs! God bless the rain in Puerto Rico.

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 18 April 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

That's disappointing about Sutter fils. Sutter père was such an idol of mine.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 18 April 2003 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Jason Scccccccchmidt! Or converseley, Skkkkkkkkkhmidt.

― Leee (Leee), Saturday, 19 April 2003 04:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Barry Bonds made a toolsy catch!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Saturday, 19 April 2003 04:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow! Bnw must've grown up in St. Louis! So did I! I went to camp with Todd Worrell's two kids. They both have red hair.

So, what school did you go to?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Saturday, 19 April 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Mason Ridge. What part of town did you grow up in?

― bnw (bnw), Saturday, 19 April 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I was in University City. Have very fond memories of the 80s Cardinals, but it's been at least 10 years since I've been back though.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Saturday, 19 April 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

That is Nelly's old hood. Is that you how you learned what it takes to be number 1? [/f-red]

― bnw (bnw), Saturday, 19 April 2003 22:02 (twenty-two years ago)

!! What does it take to be Number 1??!!!

Cause 2 is not a winner and 3 no one remembers . . .

(and 12th doesn't rhyme)

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 19 April 2003 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah, I lived down the street from U City High, where Nelly went to school... but we moved to Michigan around the time he was there. But yeah, growing up close to Nelly = #1!

The Natural is on Bravo tonight. Classic.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Sunday, 20 April 2003 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

First to double digit holds! Holds win championships! PH34R!!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Sunday, 20 April 2003 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

bnw, trade proposal: Your whole team for Torii Hunter?

― felicity (felicity), Sunday, 20 April 2003 00:35 (twenty-two years ago)

First to double digit holds! Holds win championships! PH34R!!

*sob*

― Leee (Leee), Sunday, 20 April 2003 03:48 (twenty-two years ago)

quit trying to take advantage of me just cuz my rank is dropping off the table.
filthy!

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 20 April 2003 03:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Way to go Mark Prior. He's the CDK horse we are going to ride all season. I am liking my B. Kim better.

― felicity (felicity), Sunday, 20 April 2003 03:54 (twenty-two years ago)

This Easter, I am thankful for Miguel Tejada hitting his 3rd home run of the season, I am thankful for Mr. Clement and Mr. Zito and Mr. Pettite pitching well this past week, and I am ultra-thankful for my temporary position as the 6th best team in this fine league of goodness.

Gimme some marshmellow peeps, damn it.

― David R. (popshots75`), Sunday, 20 April 2003 04:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Kim's been great in his starting role. I have him in my other league. Arizona's shit offense has been letting him down.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Sunday, 20 April 2003 04:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Bong gets lit up for many hits but Phillies runners wasted, few make it home.

― felicity (felicity), Sunday, 20 April 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr. Diamond denies the force of the AARP! YOU WILL LEARN FEAR! (and Bingo, too.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Sunday, 20 April 2003 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I like to have Coco Crisp waiting on deck when I face the Bong.

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 20 April 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Burly-mon why have you forsaken me?!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Sunday, 20 April 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Al "the mad Hungarian" Hrabosky during today's Tino v. Batista Easter brawl: "Matheny has that long hair now. He's gonna be an animal out there."

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 20 April 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I love my Mike DeJean and Aaron Boone.

― felicity (felicity), Sunday, 20 April 2003 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't love my Aaron Boone when he went 0-9 yesterday.

I guess he made up for it today. But 0-9?!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Sunday, 20 April 2003 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

That was then.

― felicity (felicity), Sunday, 20 April 2003 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I have him in my other league. I certainly didn't expect him to replicate last year's numbers, but Jesus a major league hitter ought to be able to get a hit in nine at bats.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Sunday, 20 April 2003 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus is busy enough with Torii.

― felicity (felicity), Sunday, 20 April 2003 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus blessed his Job of the Week w/ a hit. Yesterday.

― David R. (popshots75`), Sunday, 20 April 2003 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm actually pretty happy with my Mark Teixeira lately, too.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty happy about the fact that Carlos Lee has four home runs in his last four games, including a grand slam.

Thanks to whoever dropped him.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 00:56 (twenty-two years ago)

We need more indie guilt Bermanisms. You know, like if he played baseball, Julian "Can't" Cope.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 00:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Ty "Afghan" Wigginton

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Detroit Le Tigres
Jason PromIsringhaus
LaTroy "Sophie B" Hawkins

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Jason PromIsringhaus

ha ha!

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Jose "My Bloody" Valentin

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

My guy!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Octavio "Neutral Milk" Dotel

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Hideo Nomo "mr. nice guy"

felicity have you ever considered a career in sports management?

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Keith Foulke "Implosion"

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Arthur "long Vermont" Rhodes

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:46 (twenty-two years ago)

My Bobby Valentine was once the name of one of my fantasy teams.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I bow in the presence of true genius. (Take my word for it.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

(That I'm bowing.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Steve "Beachwood" Sparks

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Johnny Damon "and Naomi"

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 02:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Mike " " Neu

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Josh "the velvet" Fogg

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 21 April 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Not a good week for my pitching. Ouch.

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 21 April 2003 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Goodbye Hideo Nomo and your many guaranteed Ks and Ws

*waves around 9-fingered foam hand*

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 03:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not proud of this one:

Robb "Emi" Nenn

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 21 April 2003 04:07 (twenty-two years ago)

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Juan "Godspeed You! Black Em" Pierre

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 04:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Adam "Dead" Kennedy

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 21 April 2003 04:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Carlos DelgaDo Make Say Think

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 21 April 2003 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I've got Carlos Beltran "Sebastien."

― hstencil, Monday, 21 April 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHA, so much better than just David Bell "and . . ."

Juan "the For" Encarnacion

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 04:36 (twenty-two years ago)

of, course, I would expect nothing less from the man who brought us the original indie guilt Bermanism: Tim "Fischer" Spooneybarger.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

It's all for you, felicity.

― hstencil, Monday, 21 April 2003 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Ricky Ledee . . . (wait for it)

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

here are the other rockers on my team:

Brent Mayne “Ingredient”

Robin Ventura “Highway”

Terrence Long “Tall Texan”

Carlos Guillen “Piccioto”

Glendon Rusch “Tom Sawyer”

Woody “Guthrie” Williams

Omar Daal “Parts”

Scott Stewart “Murdoch”

― hstencil, Monday, 21 April 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

. . . "tron"

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"har har" says Keith Osik-ofitall

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 21 April 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha, good one!

Nothing beats Omar Daal "Parts" tho. Except, of course, other teams (he did win today).

― hstencil, Monday, 21 April 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"you're reaching" replies David "kooler then" DeJesus

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Stats are for losers. The important things are uniforms and nicknames.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

The important things are HOLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I own Carlos Lee! PH34R M3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Cal "And You Will Know Us by the Trail of . . " Eldred

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Awww... Cal was great. Him and his big old screw in his arm, god love him.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:05 (twenty-two years ago)

And You Will Know Him by the Trail of . . . his 135.00 E.R.A. (2003)!

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:07 (twenty-two years ago)

oops wait, that's his home split. Never mind.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Al Levine Colour

(ha that was awesome when his e.r.a. was that high. I think La Russa should have played him nine innings just to see if the other team could score 135 runs.)

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:11 (twenty-two years ago)

aw, sweet Al.

I'm glad we're not doing Bermanisms for a hockey league.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Cal is a big hero on the south side, owing to his ever-so-brief leadership during that magical 2000 season. We still follow his exploits breathlessly.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Does Berman get credit for Natron Means Business? Cuz that is my fave.

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, we got rid of Jaime Navarro for Eldred and Valentin!

White Sox fans rejoiced!!!!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Hockey: Shane "whatchu talkin 'bout" Willis, Nikolai Khabibulin as "the 'bulin wall"

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Jose Valentin is so cool.

http://www.thediamondangle.com/archive/mar02/chisox_pix/valentin.jpg http://www.wolfsden3.homestead.com/files/ClassicStars/V/Valentino5.gif

I once ran into Jose at my nearby Jewel/Osco. It was right after a game. I didn't bother him though. He was there with his niños.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

You know who I think is cool? Tony Clark.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha! "Tony the Tiger" as we used to call him in Detroit.

I'm sorry, he sucks. Should've stuck to basketball.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 05:44 (twenty-two years ago)

The important things are HOLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Usurper.

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 21 April 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Jon Garland has already given up 4 runs to the Indians in two innings... Say hello to the waiver list, Mr. Garland!!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Monday, 21 April 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

yawn, another day of ridiculous run support for David Wells . . . zzz

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Re: Carlos Lee - Make that five home runs in five games.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn, I'm a big C. Lee fan, but for some reason thought I shouldn't pick him up. Oh well, I hope he has a great season and breaks out of his usual "almost coulda been" status.

― hstencil, Monday, 21 April 2003 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I must confess that I was sitting here laughing when he got dropped.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Monday, 21 April 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

He's always been an underachiever. I have him in my other league and I hesitated to pick him up for ILB until I was sure this wasn't going to be a prolonged slump. Didn't want to double my pain.

He's got all the talent, but NO PLATE DISCIPLINE whatsoever. Hopefully this will be the year he gets his crap together.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 21 April 2003 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

IP H R ER BB K HR Season ERA
D. Wells (W, 3-0) 9.0 7 1 1 1 3 1 2.03
Why did you all shun him?

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 21 April 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

How I Prepare for a Job Interview:

Miguel Tejada"kiss"
Scott Rolen "Stones"
Jermaine Dye "Kruzen"
Scott Eyre "Supply" (apologies for mispronouncing)
Roger Cedeno "Means No"
Brian Daubach"man Turner Overdrive"
Yo "La Tengo" Murphy (wrong sport, but so right)
Gabe "AS"Kapler
Orlando "Sisters of" Merced
David Segui "Piccioto" (for hstencil)
Scot Posdesnik "Kershaw"
Terry "Mass Conn Fu"Shumpert (ah, local bands)

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 21 April 2003 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Dave did I tell you about how when I sat in left last year during a Sox/Rangers game, all the fans were chanting "Krap-ler...Krap-ler?!?"

― hstencil, Monday, 21 April 2003 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Were they chatting "Yankees suck", too? And, if so, were they doing it as the Rangers were whuppin' some BoSox izass?

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

White Sox, Dave, White Sox.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 22 April 2003 02:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Like I said, were they screaming "Cubs suck"? (Chatting, Dave? Chatting?)

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Beat LA.

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 03:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I was the one wot dropped C Lee.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's see, I've gotten rid of Carlos Lee and Guardado and I'm still in 8th place. Can no amount of tinkering destroy this proud and blessed franchise?

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 12:04 (twenty-two years ago)

the race for 9th place is heating up!

― bnw (bnw), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

[trash talk]WHO'S GONNA DARE CHALLENGE MY FANTASY DOMINANCE?!?!?![/trash talk]

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

< smack >

Dude:

- your leading saves guy plays for a team known & loved for getting the short end of the 12-8 beestick night after night
- your best starter is on the ROCKIES
- your best hitter is named ALEX GONZALEZ

Start your yappin' after the Royals fall out of first place (i.e. after May 15).

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

wow, there's only a 17 point diff between 6th and 16th place.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

There's supposed to be a < /smack > tag @ the end of my post, BTW.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no! We're still in smack mode!

What's that Mr. No Saves .245 BA?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm so gonna be winning it all.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I said "someone trade my dead ass a closer and tell Miguel Tejada that, as someone that's gonna be a free agent soon, you're supposed to play WELL".

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahahah... So what are the chances that there's some sort of lockout or strike in, oh, the next couple days? I know I'll win if the season ends in April.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Today's news round-up:

Aaron W OKs still in first, dog barks at man.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

By the way, my job interview went balls up because I was the LAST person to interview for the position (due to bullshit schedule conflicts), and, as a result, am NUMBER TWO on the hiring depth chart. AND AND AND the chap w/ which I interviewed said that had I interviewed earlier, I would've been NUMBER ONE, which makes me, y'know, wanna poop in a bag and cook it for supper because, in retrospect, interviewing for a co-op position ASAP (no matter many similar positions there might be throughout this great state of nutmeg) trumps waiting a week+ because I need to sit on my dorf duff in Chemistry class for 50 fookin' minutes. Priorities, Daver, priorities.

Anyway, what this emotional bloodletting means for y'all is that my attentions and frustrations will now be focused with MOAB-like precision on fantasy baseball and winning this league, so WATCH OUT!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah bummer, Dave. I hope that #1 on the hiring depth chart gets a rotator cuff injury.

I'm gonna get all Steinbrenner/Billy Martin paranoid soon and start tinkering with my team cuz I have nothing better to do.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you enjoying your Hideo Nomo?

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Pups management is considering changes to the team uniform and name in hopes to boost player morale. Cynical fans have scoffed at such "cosmetic" manuevers. Rumors have also surfaced about a possible deal concerning f-red's 9 finger foam hand. "We just feel it would be a good fit."

― bnw (bnw), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks for the, um, "well wishes", Aaron. I'm hoping the manager maybe decides to go w/ a bit of a youth movement type thing, cut some of the Ben-Gay-smellin' dead weight. But, y'know, I'm all right - if this doesn't work out, I'm sure I can hook up w/ some other club, and they'll be able to appreciate what I bring to the table ... I mean mound.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

And then you'll have the little something extra each time you play that team, er, company.

Felicity-- He had a bit of shaky first game in a Aaron W uniform, but that's to be expected. Did Aaron Boone break out of his hitting slump yet? He's a second half hitter, so fear not. (Hoping to sway any possible buyer's remorse.)

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, I have only 160 strikeouts (not counting Torii Hunter's) and Zambrano is going again today :(

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no, my Carlos Zamrano is pitching against my Brian Lawrence!

You can have a nine-fingered foam hand, bnw. I invested having a lot of them made.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Bench clearing brawl mars otherwise quiet day
AP wire

With few games played yesterday, it would be natural to assume that the intensity of the ILB league would've been mellow. Unfortunately, an ugly melee materialized between the re-renamed Millar Time club and the South Side Hit Men, purportedly over the hotly contested holds dominance.

"What the... is this?" MT manager Leee could be heard screaming. "I'm an actual contedner, and you're in 13th place, where do you get the balls to challenge me on this?"

The Hit Men are so much farther down the standings that manager Mr. Diamond's reply couldn't be heard.

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Aaron Boone had two HRs the other day! (he's on my $$$ team)

By the way, I think this is the only ILX thread I'm gonna be posting in anymore. I'm sick of ILX in general lately, but I don't want to forsake my team or my honor by neglecting the IBL. FYI, should you care.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I care.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I care too!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

We really are becoming the Hillis 3000 and Qoolouts of ILE. We should go to a game or something.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

We should, felicity. And we'll have a poker game soon.

(aaron u know i lurv u)

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Leee, them's fighting words! I've instructed Dotel and Rhodes to aim for your players' coconuts, so they best not crowd the plate.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 22 April 2003 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

My guys don't need to crowd the plate for their massive coconuts to be in the way of pitches.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 01:34 (twenty-two years ago)

What's happened to Baez!?!? La grande experiment is over. Stick a fork in the Pockets. If anybody needs me I'll be over in the corner mumbling.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 11:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I will be quietly weeping into my 9 finger foam hand as I sew on extra digits. (Now I don't even have hockey to distract me.)

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

The injury bug has hit the Aaron W express... Bonds sat out with a sore neck, Kotsay left the game last night in the third inning. The press thinks that the giant get-well cards in the lobby might be a bit of an overreaction, but management says that it would hate to see anything derail the team's great start.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

*mumble*

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Hooray for indie guilt ba$eball miserablism! Winning is so passé.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

losing is the new winning

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Hit by pitch is the new strikeout! (just ask Brian Lawrence)

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel like I've been hit by a pitch on the outside because I feel like I've been hit by a pitch on the inside.

I'm crowding the plate of happiness.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Orosco is the "new" Fassero.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Carl Everett is the new John Rocker.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Torii Hunter is the new Mike Cameron :-(

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

(Everett could also be the new Albert Belle.)

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Rocco Baldelli is the new Alex Cole.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

This is great - Jesse Orosco is about to enter in the ninth to face two Cubs batters who weren't even born when he pitched in his first major league game.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Scratch that - he was warming up but they didn't bring him in after all. Herges finished the game.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Denys "Joan" Baez
Ed "GWAR" Martinez
Chad "La" Bradford

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

The best is that Labradford were actually named after my favorite college basketball player.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 23 April 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Chad "La" Bradford

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Lance Berkman or Astroman
Paul Shue(y)less Joe Jackson Five

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Brett aTomko Kitten

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 23:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Barry "US" Bonds

"torii" means "gateway to shinto temple" in nihongo FYI.

― gygax!, Thursday, 24 April 2003 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Paul Lo Duca with his SIXTH error of the season.

On an entirely different note, I am looking more and more like Billy Beane every day.

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 24 April 2003 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Pocket Update: Appier goes on the 15 day DL and Pocket management has decided to replace him with yet another Indian, Jake "Mid" Westbrook. This gives the Pockets five Indians on their team. Better the Devil you know than the Devil (Rays) you don't I suppose.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Give me back the nine-fingered foam hand. We're number nine!

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Each Pocket fan has been given two five fingered foam hands and a foam foot in order to show their Pocket Pride. Currently there's an order in for another foam foot (see April 24th Pocket Update).

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

It's going foam bad to worse!

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I blame multi-national corporations and American hegemony for the decline in the Pockets fortunes.

― Foam Chomsky (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"torii" means "gateway to last place in OPS" in CDKish.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

does pokey mean E5?

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 24 April 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahahaha... The Braves have a pitcher called Bong!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Now that's funny.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Imagine the money the Braves could make with replica jerseys marketed to stoners!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Stop giving Ted Turner ideas Aaron.

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I miss Skip Carey.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Jung "Hey Don't Bogart the" Bong!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Derek Lowe sure isn't looking like the ace of my rotation lately... Already given up 3 and the bases are loaded with no outs... and it's only the 3rd inning.

C'mon Lowe... get this sorted out.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Cry me a river, Mr. Spanking-the-Rest-of-the-League-by-50-Points!

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Awwwwww... being in first place is so lonely! I can't even complain with the rest of you! *cries*

(Triple by Cal Everett. Make that 6 runs. At least he just got pulled so the damage is done.)

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Make that seven, Mr. First Place, sir.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, wow. OH, WOW. Varitek flings a throw to 3rd base where no one's covering, and an EIGHTH run scores. Yeehaw.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe you should all start drinking Hateraid!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

WINNING IS FOR LOSERS

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

HATORADE ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 24 April 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO DESTRUCTION

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 24 April 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

MAKE ME A POT PIE

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 24 April 2003 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

IRON MY SKIRT

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 24 April 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean YOU ARE A POT PIE

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 24 April 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Mmmm...flaky.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 24 April 2003 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'VE DECIDED TO HAVE A POT PIE FOR DINNER TONIGHT BECAUSE OF THIS THREAD. I'LL PROBABLY BAKE A SWEET POTATO ALONG WITH IT.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Vlad the Impaler with HR off Kim -- Rocky might be able to redeem himself from last week!

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 25 April 2003 00:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Another tough-luck loss for Kim. That poor kid has been pitching his ass off. Arizona's line-up should be ashamed.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 25 April 2003 01:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Arizona's line-up should be embalmed. (Ha!)

I hope you folks with Ranger players enjoyed this afternoon's session of batting practice against Les Sox Rouge.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 25 April 2003 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark "Add N" Tei(X)eira

My ranking is getting dropped faster than a Hollywood Records artist!

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 25 April 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Derek Lowe and Steve Kline give up 9 earned runs in a total of 2.1 innings... yet I still maintain my 50 point lead!

TAKE THAT YOU POT PIE EATERS!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 25 April 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

oh but Derek and the Dirt Pig are just so adorable. I want to hug them. :)

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 25 April 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

COOK ME A POL POT PIE
dude, the SWALLOWS lost AGAIN!!!!!! whoops wrong continent... there are some great ex-MLBers... Alex Cabrera, watch out Cecil Fielder, this is the next GOZIRRA!!!!

― gygax!, Friday, 25 April 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Cecil Fielder's kid is built exactly his dad...I think he was a first round pick last year by the Brewers.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 25 April 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

which of the following should i order one of the following pizzas? bonito/mayonaisse, potato/curry/mayonaisse, corn dog PIZZA with peanut/cabbage sauce (i swear to god i:m not making any of this up) or the very appealing "butcher king" special which quite frankly looks like an amalgamation of assorted meatfoods and my travelling companion prposed the question "what butcher?" for someone to answer, and i:m certainly not in the state of mind to provide the answer to that. good night! oyasumi!

ps+ the corndog catch copy can be translated as "good old but new taste!" fuck, gimme some holds or some steals. A LOT OF BEEF FULL MENU!

― gygax!, Friday, 25 April 2003 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Felicity and I are both going down. Strange bedfellows, wot?

UGH. 9th place. Ugh.

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 25 April 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm coming up! So you better get the party started!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 25 April 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

No, 8th place. FRed, stop making me think I'm worse than I am.

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 25 April 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

gygax if you pass up on corndog pizza yr a phucking phool!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 25 April 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

corndog pizza! the mind boggles.

Had the Stouffers turkey pot pie last night with the sweet potato. It was good but to my amazement in contained 70 percent of your saturated fat daily requirements.

In totally unrelated news: Pocket starter Brian Anderson couldn't start last nights game due to a strained buttock! Only in Pocket town could this happen. 12th place remains mine.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 25 April 2003 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I could kiss you for that last post!

It could be worse though... this is from SI.com:

I think there is a real possibility that the Tigers will only win 40 to 45 games this year. How many teams have finished with 120 or more losses?

Trevor Burns

*** Trevor: Only one team since 1900 has lost 120 games -- the 1962 Mets, who finished 40-120. The AL record of 117 losses in a season belongs to the 1916 Philadelphia A's, who played only 153 games.

I covered the 1988 Orioles for the now-defunct Baltimore Evening Sun, tracking their 0-21 start and 54-107 finish. That team featured two future Hall of Famers (Eddie Murray and Cal Ripken Jr.), a former MVP (Fred Lynn) and several others who were or became solid major leaguers (Mike Boddicker, Brady Anderson, Terry Kennedy, Mickey Tettleton).

The Tigers aren't nearly as good.

To win 50 games, the Tigers must finish 49-96. That shouldn't be out of the question, but keep in mind that they have yet to face the Yankees, Red Sox or any of the AL West contenders.

I honestly think they could do it. How amazing would that be??? I mean, not only would the Tigers be bad, but WORST TEAM EVAH bad! I need to get out to some games...

My parents have told me so many fond stories about the 1962 Mets, about how they were so bad that the other team would start making errors.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 25 April 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Felicity and I are both going down.

In ILB math, 8 + 14 = 69.

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 25 April 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Prior is starting at the Keg tonight. I'm benching him but I just might have to go to the ESPN Zone tonight.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 25 April 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

You're benching Prior? Jeez ma-kneez...

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 25 April 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

now I've heard everything

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 25 April 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Ms. Redwell, madam, dahling, even if it is against the Rockies @ The Altitude that Time Forgot, I would think you'd want your sexxxxy boy feasting on KKKK-rad vending machines like PWil and JoHer and CharJo.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah Felicity, benching Prior cuz it's in Colorado is like that Simpsons episode where Mr. Burns has Homer Simpson pinch hit for Daryl Strawberry cuz he's righthanded!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

But didn't Homer hit one out????!?!?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

No he got beaned in the head with the bases loaded!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

So he got an RBI!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

But remember - pitcher hitting stats don't count!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Arggh . . . what to do???? You're right, I only have 181 Ks and 16 Ws, but what about my wah-fer theen 1.06 WHIP and 2.60 team ERA? A girl's gotta watch her WHIP and ERA, you know, or no one else will . . .

Oh what the hell! Let the boy play.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait a minute, people, I am 4 overall in Total Bases allowed. Thanks for nothing. :P

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

But what if Prior pitches a CG no-hitter with 25 Ks?? You'll thank us for sure!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Then again he might be due to get shelled. Plus he had a complete game last time.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"Prior has dominated the Rockies in two career starts, going 2-0 with a 1.20 ERA, with 21 strikeouts in 15 innings." One of those was at Coors.

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 25 April 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

K-Rod got sent down?!?!

And why in the hell does Yahoo's preview of the Rock/Cub tilt call Nelson Cruz "the best Rockies pitcher this year", where there's a guy on that very same team w/ an ERA & WHIP under 1.00?

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 25 April 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Didn't K-Rod just go home for a funeral?

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 25 April 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Ahhhh. Never mind, then.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 25 April 2003 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Boy, am I glad I played Reynolds (10 runs in 3+ innings) over Sheets. I know hwat I am doing.

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 25 April 2003 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

If the Yankees have hit more homers than you've scored runs, you might be a Tiger.

If NL pitchers have outhomered you, then you just might be a Tiger.

― Leee (Leee), Saturday, 26 April 2003 04:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark Prior, will you marry me?

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 26 April 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

arggh hwat am I thinking starting Danny Graves?

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 26 April 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you start Prior then?

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Saturday, 26 April 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

but I am thrilled with his Reality offensive performance. The guy's a stud, admit it.

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 26 April 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Never said he wasn't.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Saturday, 26 April 2003 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Then again he might be due to get shelled. Plus he had a complete game last time.

-- Mr. Diamond (electrifyingmoj...), April 25th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 26 April 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

All I was saying is he's been darn near flawless this year, and after pitching so much the last game... Wait, why am I arguing with you; you're the one who benched him, o ye of little faith :)

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Saturday, 26 April 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

But more importantly, can he go nine innings?

-- Mr. Diamond (electrifyingmoj...), February 17th, 2003.

I think we know who we're talking about. :)

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 26 April 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Who's the 0-fers? Check yr trade offers!

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 28 April 2003 03:41 (twenty-two years ago)

haha, it's me, will do

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 28 April 2003 03:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't read much of this thread, but I must nonetheless finally honor Felicity's personal request for me to "please, at least help us come up with some good Indie/alt Bermanisms!(Jason "Prom" Isringhaus, Detroit "Le" Tigres, Octavio "Neutral Milk" Dotel . . .)". So here go a few I thought of while insomniated last night:

Jesus Alou Lizard
Sweep the Leg Johnny Bench
Derek Jeter Slicks

um....I had a million more in the middle of the night, I swear!

(I also think I might be two weeks too late, and also, none of these make for nicknames anywhere near as entertaining as Jim "Poop" Eisenreich, which is what we used to call the Phillies' famous victim of tourrete's syndrome a couple years ago. but whatever....)

p.s. How come nobody's ever written a traumatic song about those two Cleveland Indians who traded wives back in the '70s?

― chuck, Monday, 28 April 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

13th place... so this is what the bottom third of the league looks like. (My trashtalk to Mr. Diamond bites me in the tuckus.)

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 28 April 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

My lead is now 59 points. I am officially the Yankees of ILX baseball. Hate me!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Monday, 28 April 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Fernando Ta(tu)tis
Reggie in full effect Sanders
Richie the Unstoppable Sexson Machine

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 28 April 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi Chuck!!

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 28 April 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

please kill me

― Alan Trammell (James Blount), Monday, 28 April 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Felicity: what for Prior? Or Ks and wins?

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 28 April 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather give up my entire girly sports wardrobe.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 28 April 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Oooooh, really? Let's talk!

*twirls hair*

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 28 April 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Seriously, though. I need some Ks and Wins, you need offense. We're basically total opposites. Trade?

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 28 April 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

mark, this'll be like trying to get an 8ball from darryl strawberry!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Monday, 28 April 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

there's gotta be a shins/shinjo pun that someone can make

― maura (maura), Monday, 28 April 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Maura, who for Grimsley.

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 28 April 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark IS my baseball fantasy, see? But you can have someone else, just pick one. Zambrano is nice.

I have tired of my toy-boy Fischerspooneybarger *yawn*

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 28 April 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

!! I am trailing Yanc3y by a Mark Prior-in-Colorado amount of strikeouts !!

This is all bnw's fault.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 28 April 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I said go with yer gut. 's not my fault you can't stomach a little Coors.

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 28 April 2003 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Holy crap, Felicity, does your luv for Spooney only go as far as his next wild pitch? That's cold. That's Mark-McGwire-VS-Roger-Clemens cold. That's Pedro "I Didn't MEAN to Throw a Fastball @ Your Left Eye" Martinez cold.

I hope y'all are watching your inning limits - something tells me some of this K / win differential is simply a matter of folks pitching their buttocks off, which'll come back to bite whatever buttocks are left when their inning limit is hit come early August.

I also have a feeling that I'll be eating something fast foody for dinner. This is not a good feeling.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

If Spooney can't hold me in a 20-inning game I don't know what to do with him. Well I guess that's not his fault but we run a tight ERA and WHIP ship.

I'm getting ready to say sayonara to Danny "Pretty Boys Make" Graves, too.

bnw is sneaky. Richey The Unstoppable Sexon Machine only has two settings, strikout and home run.

WE MISS YOU GYGAX!

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I might pick Graves back up, so it'll be like you gave me AGonz. ;p

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I love how felicity coaxes us back in when we stray from an ILB thread.

I have had thoughts of picking up the Bong.

― bnw (bnw), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 00:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Champ All Girl Summers Fun Band
Mike Scioscia Distortion

― Andy K (Andy K), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 01:00 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha Scioscia D!

Getting Graves from Leee was like getting a big hollow wooden horsey filled with Greeks tied up in a big red ribbon.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 02:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Alright, I'll bite: what would you want for Zambrano?

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

a Dior handbag! and with that I throw in Prior.

Just kidding, I'll take a look. You are so kind to take pity on my and my Torii "raised his batting average to .212" Hunter.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 02:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Man I am so loving this game right now! I've got Dreifort going in ILB (6 ip, 2 er, 8 Ks) against Myers in my other league (6 ip, 0 er, 4ks; only 3 total baserunners).

Yay!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I am so happy for Darren. Now I kind of want Tommy John surgery too.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, I like it when Sutcliffe calls a slider a "slide piece". Nobody calls a curveball a curve piece or a fastball a fast piece. Plus, it has more phonemes than slider!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 02:45 (twenty-two years ago)

screw piece
sink piece
spit piece
fork piece
split piece

You're right! I wish I could hear Vin Scully's call right now, sigh.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 02:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Splitter is a good one because sometimes they'll call it a splittee.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Does anybody throw a screwball these days? Last one I remember was Norm "Handsome" Charlton.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 03:02 (twenty-two years ago)

just woke up 1;00 pm.... sunday was the rovo festival BORO in kyoto .... rovo burnt friedman jaki leibezeit seichii yamamot¤ª asa chang.... great show... interviewed seichii yamamoto for my NEW BLOG that:s coming out in about 3 weeks. rovo was amazing danced my tushy off until the wee hours with some sympahetic trance rock fans... seichii played the last song on his new record (you know the one that ooioo "covered") clocked in around 45 minutes. last night shinkansen back to tokyo at about 330 km/hr in time to hit the izakayas for a little yebisu and izaka food then back to oki and iwai s flat in kochijoji for more drinking and general pan pacific mayhem//// waszawa likes us so much we are going back tomorrow for a wednesday night blowout (it is golden week so everyone has the week off)/// ill try to host the set up in a few weeks. got a NEW MD mic that hopefully won:t crap out like the fennesz travesty. hopefully no more sub-keiji heino acts in t0ky0 this wek\ okay back to biz...

i am hanging in the league despite getting shut down offensively (mike sweeney hit 2 HRs while riding the pine) my pitching has morphed into a powerhaus,,, kurejji!

milwood no hitter. lance carter FOUR saves in one week... !?!?!?!?!?! matt kinney and mark redman showed their true colors Ks and Ws meanwhile my middle relief staff decides to turn it on as well. my ERA woes seem to be fading... i:m no longer basement sitting in that department.

okay i just cranked the dream syndicate s HALLOWEEN in an effort to stir the handsome sound artists up because i need to hit the post office and buy a fender jaguar today... or else. the solo on this song is sooo great... best solo EVAH

― gygax!, Tuesday, 29 April 2003 03:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't stop tinkering with my team. Must...not...judge...by...one...bad...game....

― bnw (bnw), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 03:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Obviously then, Matt "Sleater" Kinney.

Now I kind of want Tommy John surgery too.

TJ surgery more popular than breast augmentation surgery shockah!

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 03:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you see that scar on Dreifort's arm? That's some freaky deaky shit. I don't know if it's worth +5 MPH on my fastball.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 03:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Ok you Bosox fans, I need to know if Brandon Lyon is really the closer like I've read in various reports, because damn, 1 save so far! Damn!

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 04:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Supposably, Lyon and Fox are the "closers", which means fuck all since A) the bullpen's having trouble getting TO the "closer" B) both Fox and Lyon have been problematic (mostly Fox, but Lyon didn't fool anyone last night, tho this was a first this season), C) the BoSox lineup has made for damn sure that save situations will be few & far between and D) hey, Grady, try using the closer-by-committee bullpen AS a closer-by-committee bullpen, you open-minded cat, you, instead of kowtowing to ig'nant jackass sports writers and falling into dogmatic bullshit "closer" patterns that, while successful @ times, don't necessarily mean that a closer merry-go-round can't work (if 1) people gave it a chance and 2) the pitchers don't totally suck ass).

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Rondell(es) White.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no Ichiro vs Matsui! Fite!

― bnw (bnw), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

gawdd please excuse my horrible typos mispelling everything. posting under the influence is not advised on this thread.

ps: what:s worse having a pitcher with an ERA of over 10

having a pitcher with an ERA over 10 who:s been accused of sexual assault

― gygax!, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Um ... being accused of sexual assault?

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 02:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Washburn was cleared of all those charges!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 02:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Ichiro makes a nice catch, bunts his way on. He won the battle for my heart.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I know why Aaron is winning, and his name is Carlos Delgado. We are all idiots for letting him last that long (mid-5th round in an 18 team league?)

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Delgado made some pretty major adjustments near the middle of last year that basically saved his season. His numbers over the last 100 games played or so are basically monstrous.

In other news, Blount, I've accepted yr trade: Mulder is now an 0-fer! *gulp*

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks! I thought Delgado was the steal of the draft!

Hey look! Todd Jones hates gays! http://espn.go.com/mlb/news/2003/0429/1546815.html

"I wouldn't want a gay guy being around me," Jones told the paper. "It's got nothing to do with me being scared. That's the problem: All these people say he's got all these rights. Yeah, he's got rights or whatever, but he shouldn't walk around proud. It's like he's rubbing it in our face. 'See me, Hear me roar.' We're not trying to be close-minded, but then again, why be confrontational when you don't really have to be?"

That's pretty well-reasoned.... it's like, if you're gonna be gay, could you please not be all GAY and stuff. Better yet, just don't be gay at all, especially not on my team. Not that I'm close-minded or anything. Brilliant!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"All these people say he's got all these rights."

Amazing quote.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude... Yeah, he's got rights or whatever.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Having an e.r.a. of 6.35 is pretty gay in my book.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

When people have the right to be seen and heard roaring then democracy has gone too far!

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone notice that AJ Burnett died yesterday, pretty much? The Zambonies shrug it off!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I missed that, probably because I was blinded by the massive lights of Spooneybarger's explosion.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/profiles/players/5082.jpg

― dude's a goober! (Mark P), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

anybody want to make any trades? please?

― hstencil, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Sure hstencil. Scott Stewart looks mighty fine to me.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

What happened to my manly .316 team avg?! I blame hstencil!

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

DID YOU KNOW:

The Free Jose Canseco's have a fair hold on fourth place... with only one save over the season so far. Coincidence, or the perks of being vice commish? You be the judge! Call 1-900-ILB-NERD-1 to vote coincidence, 1-900-ILB-NERD-2 to vote conspiracy!

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Dood, saves are soooooo overrated. ChicksDigHolds!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 1 May 2003 00:29 (twenty-two years ago)

ChicksAlsoDigErrors, BTW. My boots are made for walking.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 1 May 2003 00:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Whenever my bats make some noise, my pitching gets all blowed up.

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe it's cos your bats are facing your pitchers.

And welcome back Jason Scccccccccccchmidt -- a bittersweet 3 hitter.

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 1 May 2003 06:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I think its more that my pitchers suck.

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 1 May 2003 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

So who here is completely fed up with Berkman? I'm so on the verge of dealing him but I am completely hesistant for obvious reasons. Is his elbow injury more serious than thought? And while I'm at it, let me reiterate my love for all things Baldelli.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 1 May 2003 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I have Berkman in my $$$ league, and it is frustrating (adding to that: the other OF I protected from last year is Brian Giles), but don't deal him Chris. He's a better player than this, for serious. If you are really concerned, wait until he starts to get hot and then deal him.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I just noticed Blount's trade for Mulder. Brilliant trade, dude. A GM of the year type deal!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah I have him in my money league and he's killing me. Granted im in third out of 10, but still. Arrgh.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 1 May 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm second in the league in points scored yet I have the worst record: 2-6. I'm the BoSox of my fantasy league!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey! No picking on the SOX!

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 1 May 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

YES I'M COMPLETELY FED UP WITH BERKMAN.

But he's my #1 pick, what am I gonna do? It's one month, he'll improve. Just have to ride it out. It just sucks when Carl freakin' Everett has 20 RBI and Berkman has 4. Nauseating.

In other news, it appears Torii Hunter may be finally showing signs of life... Also, and I know this may come as a shock to everyone, but Albert Pujols is a stud. I think he's my favorite player right now.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 1 May 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

a friend of mine just offered me Guerrero for Berkman and Percival. Ugh.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 1 May 2003 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris, I would take that trade in an instant and run away cackling ha ha ho ho hee hee.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 1 May 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Its a tough deal to make though. Especially if Berkman turns it on. Hmm.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 1 May 2003 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh God yes, make that trade!! Are you kidding me? That's a no-brainer. Man I wish I was in your league.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 1 May 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, even with Berkman in peak position I would make that deal, assuming that saves aren't weighted too heavily.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Its a rotiserrie style league, so i could get away with it. I have Mesa and Williamson as well.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 1 May 2003 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

TRADE! As good as Berkman could be, you'll get similar type of sluggo numbers from Vlad, PLUS steals!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I do not remember signing up for ILX Yahoo! Nightmare Baseball League 2003.

Well I complain about falling behind the Z's in Ks but the race for 13th place is actually pretty tight.

bnw, I hoped you dumped Ryam Dumpster. It seems to me that NL West pitching is risky in general b/c of the unbalanced schedule through Coors. Although Schmidt really did throw a gem. I pity the fool who used a 1st round pick on Randy Johnson. :(

I am so envious of whoever has Barry Bonds right now. It's sad that I am excited about Torii's home run (3). This is my power.

Rob Dibble demonstrates that everybody loves a dumb jock. His goatee is horrible.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

his name is Carlos Delgado.

Surely Carlos "The" Degaldo"s"?

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I am so envious of whoever has Barry Bonds right now.

*cough cough*

Today I realized that the point difference between me at #1 and Yanc3y in 2nd place is almost the same as Yanc3y and James in 18th place. You can hate me now.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Felicity, if you're (rightfully) hating on Dib's goat, be happy he's not showing off his pierced nips.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck off Aaron! You'll falter... (and anyway, that point differential ain't so huge cuz if i make ground in just one or two categories yr team will buckle under the pressure)

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

It's weird how I'm not really dominating any particular catagory but have such a huge lead. I think it must be the extra anabolic steroids I've been sneaking into the players lunches....hehehehe

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

If you guys / gals could simply trade me a closer & give your players a case of the yips, I'd be in first place & everything would be right w/ the world.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I curse this league! And all who dwell in it!!

I'm starting "High" Halama"s" today. He's the next in a long line of failed Pocket experiments.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Someone with free time calculate Aaron's actual statistical leads over me in every category? Kisses!

(i really feel like being a jackass today)

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Could someone please kidnap Fran Healy? Please? His unavoidable Chevy-Chase-as-talk-show-host crapitude leaves me no choice but to watch the Baltimore / Detroit game.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: yips VS nips

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 1 May 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

We not drawing enough with our poor record so from now on my roster will play in Hooter's-style dolphin shorts.

― F.Comiskey (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh, yr thinking of Bill Veeck.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 1 May 2003 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

A closer look inside the numbers...

Aaron W vs. Yanc3y

Runs : +9
HR : -5
RBI : -1
SB : +11
CS : +2
F% : +.007
BA : +.013
OPS : -.006

W : -1
SV : +5
K : -85
HLD : +8
TB : +114
ERA : +1.18
WHIP : +.09

=60 rotisserie points WHEEE!!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 1 May 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

haha, Mr. D. you are correct, sir. Whatever. They can skip the pantyhose though.

I do NOT want to see or hear about Dibs' nipples or any other part of him. In order to hear the baseball scores on my commute, I used to have to suffer through his endless conversations with Dan Patrick on ESPN about the tattoo Dibs was getting on his rear end because of some stupid bet. I have heard way too much about Dibs' anatomy but it was still better than Jim Rome, gaaah.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

"High" Halama"s"!! That's a good one. Let's someone put a list together.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

So Dibble got a tattoo because of a bet, but he chickened out of running naked through Times Square when Ichiro won the batting title? Weak.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 1 May 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I do NOT want to see or hear about Dibs' naked body or any part of it.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

You know what I like about Karl Ravech? He's mediocre but he's a workaday guy -- not showy, he just works hard, is a good clubhouse presence and keeps showing up.

~~I wonder if he~~

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I do NOT want to see or hear about KKKKKKarl's naked body or any part of it.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 1 May 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

SB, TB & ERA will be tough to make ground on...

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I forgot Es... +5

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 1 May 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Zach Day has a 1-hitter thru 7 innings... with the one hit coming from the opposing pitcher!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 1 May 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/profiles/players/6787.jpg http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/profiles/players/3918.jpg

FITE!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 1 May 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

ooh, thanks for the reminder. Prior v. Bonds. Classic.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

No, they really did almost have a FITE!

Prior hit Bonds, they walked toward each other, Bonds barking all menacing like. Cooler heads prevailed!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 1 May 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

hott!

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

prior's up now, WILL HE GET PLUNKED? let's see

― maura (maura), Thursday, 1 May 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

ps:

http://tampabay.devilrays.mlb.com/images/2003/05/01/sbvL8hBi.jpg

― maura (maura), Thursday, 1 May 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

The gods were smiling upon my team as usual since I had to bench Steve Klein to make room for three starting pitchers and he went out and gave up 3 ERs and 4 hits in one inning.

Is it time for a new thread? This one is getting sluggish in the load department.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Mike Maroth in the midst of a perfect game shockah!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Tight NL-style ball game going on at the Pac! C'mon Juan Cruz, we need some of those Ks . . .

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

A Detroit Tiger's throwing a perfect game & yr rooting for Juan Cruz!!! Yr no baseball fan!!!!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Is he really?

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

He's gone 7 innings so far. 5ks, 0 hits, 0 walks.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it perfect? Somebody must have reached because Conine (4th in lineup) just ended the inning.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

But it looks like Mora made the first out so that would work. Yahoo! is not always accurate.

Tiger stadium must be electric right now.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I just checked ... he hit Sarge Jr. with a pitch in the 4th.

Still pretty incredible though.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

just a no-hitter then? Back to Juan Cruz

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

whoops! yeah, who cares??? big deal!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

IT'S ALL OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Doh!!

We all jinxed it :-(

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

bravo foxtrot delta. It's interesting but not like the death battle for the K category in an indie guilt fantasy baseball league or anything. I mean even a punk like Ted Lilly can be perfect for 7.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

no hit for 7 whatever *yawn*

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Ted Lilly ain't no punk! felicity, all this losing has made you sour!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never liked Ted Lilly since he threw at Spiezio's head. It's fine to retaliate but no need to throw at someone's HEAD.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

...and now Maroth is on the hook for the loss!! It always happens that way. Oh the humanity.

Meanwhile, Alex Gonzalez and Sosa just made Worrell want his mommy.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I need that W.

Y-3 is totally right. Falling down in the pitching categories has made me desperate and cranky. Nobody told me the comedown was going to be such a beatch!

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Worrell, you fuxor!!!

Don't be a h8r, felicity. It ain't yr style.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

You're right!

HATING IS FOR LOSERS

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

(maybe you should be h8ing then -- HA!)

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Darn you and your Jake Peavy!!

(am I doing it right?)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

(close enuf!)

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Today's word is: VITUPERATIVE

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 2 May 2003 00:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Today's words are "Lance Berkman, in one game, tallied the amount of RBI he had for the WHOLE FREAKIN' MONTH OF APRIL."

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 2 May 2003 01:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I think he was reading the thread. Hey Lance, can you tell Johnny Damo(n) "Suzuki" that lead off hitters should hit above .250? Thanx!

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 2 May 2003 01:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I bench AGonz; Worrell gives up the dongs. I nominate myself for manager of the year.

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 2 May 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Why has my Jim Thome been caught stealing three times this season?

WHO IS TELLING JT THAT HE CAN RUN?

I knew National League ball would be the death of his career.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 2 May 2003 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

im holding off on my Berkman/Percival for The Impaler deal.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 2 May 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I just point out that in my $$$ league I took Sheffield in the EIGHTH ROUND!!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 2 May 2003 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I took Rocco Baldelli dead last!

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 2 May 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

So did I! And then I dropped him for Rich Harden.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 2 May 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Erm, I don't want to be called a jerk again and it's not a big deal, but in the future the commish should probably let the 3 days pass before his trade goes thru like the rest of us have had to.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 2 May 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

okay, prior, k.wood, dusty all collectively on my s h i t list. hear me? dusty is a huge huge huge hypocritical coward. prior and wood will get theirs. uber kudos to matt clement for showing wood and prior what MEN do and pitch at the plate not the batter.

prior vs. bonds: 0-1, 3BBs and a HBP... .800 OBP... yawn. prior reminds me of that annoying kid in that horrible cubs/g.busey vehicle from 19888888888880 whatevah i'm done must sleep.

― gygax!, Friday, 2 May 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

gygax! +19 hour time difference real time delay SHOCKAH!!!

f., traceroute this IP addy for fun.

― gygax!, Friday, 2 May 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

From BP's Will Carroll:

"After plunking Barry Bonds yesterday, Mark Prior said: 'Just because he's got 15-20 years in the big leagues and 600 homers and I have been in the league a little under a year doesn't mean I have to stop doing what makes me a professional.' I don't condone plugging anyone, but you have to love that attitude."

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 2 May 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Wha - there was a trade?! News to me. What the hell?

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 2 May 2003 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a glut of relievers, someone relieve me. (hur hur)

Looking for: a starting pitcher, or a basestealer.
Turn ons: sense of humor, slick glove, holding.
Turn offs: errors, smokers, sky high ERA.

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 2 May 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

PS: Mark De"La"Rosa "and Asora"

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 2 May 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Me like Pedrokkkkkkkkkkkk.

― bnw (bnw), Saturday, 3 May 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

?hwat are you saying bnw? That doesn't even make sense. Skkkkkinny pups will be a real threat when Jeter comes back.

I was surprised to see that "Mike D."Jean is an attractive man. In my mind, random Brewer reliever = Mike Fetters. Getting a save is +4 to charisma.

!!!Somehow I have regained the lead in strikeouts!!!

g! I tracerouted it but it was not very exciting.

Keep running, Pokey Reese. It's the only reason I hired you.

Aaron W or anyone: please feel free to start a new thread -- I was waiting for gygax! to come back so he wouldn't miss out but he seems to be checking in just fine so go ahead and I'll link it up or close this as necessary.

― felicity (felicity), Sunday, 4 May 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Pedrok = He-Man villain?

― David R. (popshots75`), Sunday, 4 May 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

hwat I am saying is I hope the small bears enjoyed their brief glimpse of first place.

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 4 May 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

This was mentioned before, but why doesn't ILB get its own bored/board? Imagine all the goofy threads we'd have. Like, Felicity's hotties could have their own personal thread! I could have my All-Miller/Millar/Muellar thread! And the official ILB kitten thread!

*head explodes*

― Leee (Leee), Sunday, 4 May 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

It is very important for my personal program of cultural imperialism to keep these ginormous baseball threads obnoxiously at the top of ILE, both literally and statistically. And Blount was against it for some reason.

But either way is okay with me.

― felicity (felicity), Sunday, 4 May 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

WE WILL NOT BE GHETTOIZED!!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Sunday, 4 May 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

ILB UBER ALLES

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 4 May 2003 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

You haters asked for it.

http://www.sparklinglady.com/Pawpi_closeup.jpg
http://www.sparklinglady.com/seamus/ss.JPG
http://thumbs.webshots.com/sym/na2/0/60/15/4106015youqyvJKgj_th.jpg

― Leee (Leee), Sunday, 4 May 2003 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh and of course:

http://webpages.charter.net/cmvenuti/images/cat.jpg

― Leee (Leee), Sunday, 4 May 2003 23:46 (twenty-two years ago)

And more Bermanisms!

Scott Schoene"Janet"weiss
Kevin "Carrie" Brown"stein"
Michael "Corin" Tucker
Kyle "Lora Mac"Far"lane"nsworth

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 5 May 2003 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Now, a pome:

On television, the ballgame

time suspended, from this stasis reemerge briefly on occasion spangles of subcurrent life
Whereon flat sweeps of green
Our drama is furling:

It’s one line connecting the batter and pitcher, all others fall
Away, the blanket over your peripheral vision.
He rocks back and forth, the pitcher, the moment cradled,

A newborn infant eased into, what cries there are only
He can attend to; the way to his self-imposed solitude,
The Long Walk Up, no guru in the end, simply a man, maybe pretty stupid. While seemingly

Far off the batter under his own scrutiny, hoping he’ll fail less than seventy percent in this game of futility, his own
Set of a hundred self-contained rituals refined into tics: a disremembered
Tap of his helmet, the cupping of his crotch, and adjustments to his jersey shoulders (the baseball cross),

On the surface each jet of spit, each shoe tapped free of dirt an attempt to disrupt the other’s
Rhythm, but to none who watch it now, is the
Texturing of a greater tapestry;

The threads connecting
Them together: the ball popping hard into the mitt (a sound rhyming
With the crack of the bat), and the arc of the pitch, before and after which everything is lulled,

Taken for granted. The stories, woven finely into the tapestry, you’ll sooner or later forget
Into summer air or your father’s sunlit shirt enfolding on your cheek, because there’ll always be others to replace,
A certainty to rely

On. “But nothing happens,” you would say. That’s the point, the nothingspace in between, microcosms sublimated into, punctuated by pitches and innings, lost to the cool observer
But not to
Those who care.

I could be
There, you know. But I threw
Away my ticket – I hate going alone.

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 5 May 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

That's wonderful, Leee! Have you thought of submitting it to the Elysian Fields Quarterly? I bet they would love it.

www.efqreview.com

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 5 May 2003 02:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Continues here:

ILX Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball League 2003 -- Part 4: ...going...

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 5 May 2003 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

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