an orgasm thread

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i thought this thread was about orgasms.
-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), April 17th, 2003. (Chris V)

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You think every thread is about orgasms, Chris.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), April 17th, 2003. (nickalicious)

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someone start an orgasm thread. please.
-- Jeanne Fury (JeanneFur...), April 17th, 2003. (Jeanne Fury)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, if only it were THAT easy....

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha! This is only the second post of yours I've seen Jeanne, and I already love you.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been too tired to have orgasms. It's just too much to even think about when you're writing about the Holocaust.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Orgasms are overrated. I prefer heated intellectual discussion.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought I had an orgasm once, but my doctor told me it was the wrong kind.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been too tired to have orgasms before, too. I've fallen asleep on myself. Talk about an insult...
(thanks for the love, nickalicious.)

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Jeanne, I know your pain all too well.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Sometimes, I totally fight off the orgasm because, well, I'm a dude, and when I come, the fun stops. But I've held it back for so long, that I just wind up not being able to. Though I'm the only who seems to mind.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Orgasms are overrated. I prefer heated soup.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I do the "fight it" thing too, Horace, but usually for hours and not DAYS. That just scares me.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I prefer orgasms during heated intellectual discussions.

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

about soup.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Heated orgasms are overrated. I prefer intellectual soup.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

My ex-roommate once threw soup out the window, out to the street.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Because of an orgasm?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Probably not, she was dating a guy who had no penis, seriously.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I rather have an orgasm than litter, thank you very much.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

A lack of orgasms can drive one to terrible things.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

she was dating a guy who had no penis

How small does a penis have to be before it qualifies as a lack of penis?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Orgasms are overrated. I prefer York peppermint patties.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Food destruction! I'd toss them out of the window, to follow the soup down...

Probably not, she was dating a guy who had no penis, seriously.

Ah, frustration based on lack of sexual release outlet....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Probably not, she was dating a guy who had no penis, seriously.

How was she dating a guy, then?

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Listen, I'm being totally serious here, he had some kind of deformity apparently, "micro-penis"? It's like a real medical thing, I saw it on the Discovery channel.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Isn't that what Jamie Lee Curtis had?

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

unless the guy had microfingers or a microtongue or a microimagination, there's no reason she couldn't have gotten something out of the (sexual) deal.

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

(Jeanne, are you thinking of the dick-clit?)

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, that was a little defensive.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Micropenis is a genuine medical term, although I don't know how small it has to be to qualify for medical concern. As for Jamie Lee Curtis, no one in a position to know has spoken on the record, so all discussion of this is a matter of SICK AND WRONG fantasy. And therefore I'm surprised ILX hasn't raised the issue before.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

do you mean my answer, Ally? it was meant tongue in cheek. seriously, that condition sounds like a logistical nightmare, all sex stuff aside.

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

What the heck's that? I heard that Ms. Curtis was born with a hemaphroditic little thingie on her girl-thingie. She had the micro-penis removed.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone's heard that one. But look... just watch the stripping scene in True Lies and tell me that it matters. She could have teeth down there and I don't know if I'd be able to resist.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I meant something a little more commonplace, Jeanne. anyway, never heard that rumor before--and I'll ditto Kenan apart from subbing Trading Places as the film of choice

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Nothing more attractive than a wig-wearing hooker in a fake fur coat and miniskirt.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Excuse me, could you guys stop talking hermaphrodites and micropenises and get back to orgasms?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

fwiw, I have an orgasm every time I watch Trading Places. better, Aaron?

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay Aaron. What do you want to know?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought the How Close Are You? thread was gonna be abt orgasms.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Before we do that tho, Aaron, Joan Jett to thread.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

The Illicit Manufacture of Liquid Orgasm

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha couldn't they have given it a nicer name though? 'Micropenis' is so cold and clinical and stonyhearted! At least if they called it a 'humblewang' or a 'minidingle' or some shit then the guy who was forced to admit he had one could convince himself that maybe other people thought he was talking about a laptop or a European car or something. At least give him that much, y'know?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

it was meant tongue in cheek

I'LL BET IT WAS

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

ipud

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Joan Jett makes me have an orgasm.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

HUMBLEWANG?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

best thread evah

― joan jett's actual girlfriend (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

O's are delightful. And I must say it is a great pleasure being female sometimes.

The movie Amy's O was horrible though.

Orlando was a good movie, and sensual, but it was named Orlando, not Orgasm.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

HUMBLEWANG?

I hear they're very good on gas.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

(Not that I'm not female all the time... or something)...

I want York peppermint patties now.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

HUMBLEWANG = a small office computer from the 1980s with about an 80K memory.

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Joan Jett turns my clover crimson. Over and over.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

so jj's gilfriend: is it a humblewang or a dickclit (alt: jumboshrimp)?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

orgasm is this?

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.sf-fantasy.com/magazine/bookreview/images/orgasm.jpg

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.peytonmanning18.com/PeytonCereal.JPG

― MOST SUGGESTIVE CEREAL EVER (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:YsR751qIgLoC:www.calamusbooks.com/newsletters/v2_22/Orgasm200.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

it is an all-over human bodyfur of velvety micropenises

― joan jett's actual girlfriend (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Ew. For some reason I'm now picturing ribbed hobbits. Ew ew ew.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Funniest 2 pix I found while googling orgasm:
http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:lQ_9sNQkstYC:privatewww.essex.ac.uk/~labick/gareth1.jpg http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:Vtm8baIno5MC:www.peterhantz.com/products/tingler2.jpg

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

better that than this:

http://www.cdaccess.com/jpg/shared/front/large/wargasm.jpg

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

same reason you always picture em mark (see thread title)

― joan jett's actual girlfriend (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

minidingles = like minibagels, except in the shape of a penis.

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Ew. For some reason I'm now picturing ribbed hobbits. Ew ew ew.

Ewwwwwwww! Now I'm thinking of that too!!

Joan Jett...hahahaha. Ha.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Ew. For some reason I'm now picturing ribbed hobbits. Ew ew ew.

Ribbed...For Sam's satisfaction.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Sarah McLusTy really SHOCKAH!'d me with those pics. Of all the ILXors whose names I expected under those...

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.diskunion.co.jp/s_sale/rock/img/BECK_25.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"Wargasm" is the scariest word I've ever seen. You think Richard Perle has these looking over satellite images of Iraq?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd say 'Gwargasm' gives it a run for its money.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

"Wargasm" is one of the best L7 songs ever recorded.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

But it does not make me want to have an orgasm.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Rhizomic genitalia! mark s is a master prognosticator.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Ew. For some reason I'm now picturing ribbed hobbits. Ew ew ew.

And with that image, my brain just exploded...

Wanna bet some sick perk really has created their own LOTR porno "masterpiece"?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Orgasms are overrated. I prefer listening to Orcestral Maneuvers in the Dark in the dark.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I prefer whistling Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark in the dark.

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I blame stencil for stealing my 'h'.

THAT BASTARD DID IT AGAIN!

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Is there actually LOTR slash?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

coff*manoeuvres*coff

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

You should change your name to hoops, then you could blame me for stealing two h's.

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, Peyton Manning stole your O!

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

If I knew the correct spelling of OMD, I would not let anyone know.

― hoops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

there was a "erotic lord of the rings symphony box set" advertised in the fortean times last year (along with a lot of bonus PUNK ROCK CLASSIC CDs) => naturally i sent off for it

my cheque was never cashed

(a lot later i received a DVD of Cube, from what seemed to be a completely difft company in a difft country: i had never ordered this, and the contact number for enquiries never picked up...)

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I, for one, hope to never ever in my life see Peyton Manning's O face.

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

why did i just say all that?

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I, for one, hope to never ever in my life see Peyton Manning's O face.

I bet he spikes the girl.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

oh i was replying to mark p

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I kinda like how hoops sounds/looks. Plus, I'm no joke on the court so I wouldn't be frontin'.(ask jaymc)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't wanna know how close this is:

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

proof

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Only on ILX could we have a simultaneous discussion about erotic symphonies (?!) inspired by LOTR and Peyton Manning's gameface.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Warm Beds Are Good: Sex and Libido in Tolkien's Writing

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.twistedfans.com/011113/nflw9i3.jpg

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

here is the album:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00005NWNC/

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005NWNC.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

yes but w/o the punk rock freebies it seems somehow tawdry

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

"somehow"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.peytonmanning18.com/000557PM.jpg

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe I'll go and orgasm myself and then describe it in exact, minute detail. You know, they're all so different, you could give every one its own name.

Tonight's is called Gideon.

(No, not really...)

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

He's on the verge there, you can tell.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think so, Yanc3. If it's the end of a game, and he's wearing a Colts uni, they prolly just lost.

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.peytonmanning18.com/000548PM.jpg

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

what d'you suppose the composer was knighted for?

(i hope for approving that sleeve design...)

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

How ungodly male of you all. Sex became football in under an hour. Check please.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

well see, Jeanne these two things are related in the male mind.

TOUCHDOWN!

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.peytonmanning18.com/000191pm.jpg

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

mark who is he.
he is almost as hot as the boys at taylor college.
and boy oh boy oooooooh i almost had an orgasm there.

― anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

he's making ali g's sex sign!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Anthony:

http://www.peytonmanning18.com/coltspicsindex.html

Have at it dude!

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Yanc3y I think he's calling for the infamous hoop play.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Bingo!

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

post-o face:

http://www.peytonmanning18.com/000630PM.jpg

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.peytonmanning18.com/000535PM.jpg

― someone get this boy a cigarette (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Roughing the Passer!

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Illegal Motion in the Backfield!

― hstencil, Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

PAYTON MANNING PORN: THE WORST THING I'VE EVER SEEN? POSSIBLY.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a phallic symbol where is phallus would be. Coincidence?

― hoops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a phallic symbol where his phallus would be. Coincidence?

― hoops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay! My first double-post!

― hoops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's post pictures that actually have something to do with the title. Blech! Too much football! not sexy!

http://www.qaftalk.com/mch/m6advlrg.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn, not even anything sexy, is it? A bunch of dumb looking boogers of whom the best thing that can be said is that their dicks are almost certainly more substantial than their brains.

Guys who look brainless aren't sexy. It's okay for a guy to be brainless as long as he doesn't look it.

This is not making me think of orgasms at all.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Please no spoilers. I'm only on episode 1 of season 3.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

How ungodly male of you all. Sex became football in under an hour. Check please.

I'll second that. Who in their right mind, male or female, prefers contemplating Payton Manning's orgasms to Jeanne Fury's?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

payton manning?

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Orgasm? Yes please.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Not even the pic I posted Christine?

mark p - I have only seen what's been released to dvd. No HBO. :(

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

STRICTLY AND CONFIDENTIAL,

I am MR PAYTON MANNING the director in charge of
auditing and account section UNION TOGOLAISE DE
BANQUE,LOME-TOGO.With due respect and regard,I have
decided to contact you on a business transaction that
will be very beneficial to both of us at the end....

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

mark yr killing me

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Sarah someone lent me Season 1 on DVD two weeks ago. I blew through all thirteen episodes in about four days, then I downloaded the whole of season 2 and watched that as well! Season 3 is proving a bit more elusive though, hence the bottleneck...

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

season 1's the only one worth watching anyway.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Peyton, Payton, whatever.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

What I've seen of season three is all weird and Lynchy. No idea what to make of it yet.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know who they are, S. Slightly better but too gay. And too Burt Reynolds and Lee Majors, really...

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Orgasm? Yes please.

Duty calls
*Grabs coat. Heads to airport. Takes first available flight to Lunaville*

― hoops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

ChristineSH, They're supposed to be brothers on this show Six Feet Under.

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

(I am, of course, that hypocritical creature known as the Ugly Thing With Unreasonably High Standards...)

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

The guy who's standing plays a gay guy. The other character is straight. Something for everyone.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Except lesbians I guess. Unless they like the little sister.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Seen the trailers, never watched it.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

His bulge isn't too impressive, anyway. Where'd he put the socks?

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 17 April 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

On his feet?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, DUH, someone ought to tell him what they're for!

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

(I don't like the hair anyway. I've just decided I'm totally turned off by baldness, just to make my position even more unreasonable...)

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

shall I pick you up at the airport, oops?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, please. I'll be the one with the huge...smile on my face.

― hoops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

yay, oops has 'found a partner to procreate with!'

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

this ain't procreating, sug, this is fuckin...

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

dibs on yelling out BINGO

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

For your viewing pleasure, I bring you the TRUE Lord of The Rings story .......

http://www.punchbaby.com/media/gitfakt/clips/movies/LOTRtruestory.wmv

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Luna=
http://www.knockingshop.org.uk/tease.tuf.jpg

― hoops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

sez who?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

put your money where your mouth is, slick

(resisting temptation to alter the preceding sentence)

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

There's no one here!

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Silly, you went to LAX - should have gone to Burbank.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh well. I found some nice ladies here though. Perhaps I could swing around your place about 7ish?

― shoops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not takin' sloppy seconds

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I clean up well.

― shoops (Oops), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Well ok - make it 7:30 then

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX: We're Sick to Death of Arguing about Iraq, Let's Joke about Fucking Each Other

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Im the master of the internal orgasm, in fact im having one now. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Ewwww

― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Retrograde orgasm: possibly the most FRIGHTENING CONCEPT EVER. Some things should never create a vacuum.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 April 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

*shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhLORP*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 April 2003 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

To quote RickyT: Ewwww

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 April 2003 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX: We're Sick to Death of Arguing about Iraq, Let's Joke about Fucking Each Other

It's spring! And I'm sprung!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 17 April 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's fuck about joking each other.

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 17 April 2003 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

"minidingles = like minibagels, except in the shape of a penis"

Minidingles = the jnr cast of Emmerdale?

― smee (smee), Friday, 18 April 2003 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

this really should be at the top of threads again

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 April 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"Sound In -- Pleasure Out"

http://www.audi-oh.com/Store/default.asp

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 18 April 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

wow.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Friday, 18 April 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

LOOK OUT AMAZON WISH LIST

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 April 2003 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

For those who really love music!

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 April 2003 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

So someone joke about fucking me. I'll try not to take it seriously. (This would be easier in some cases than others.)

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Friday, 18 April 2003 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Get your coat, Christine...

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 April 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh...

http://www.ampcon.freeserve.co.uk/ch/jpegs/jd.jpg

Call me boring, shallow and predictable, but this balances things for me.

Also, if this is YOU, my mobile # is...

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Friday, 18 April 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to date a chap who thought he looked like Johnny Depp. He really didn't though, so I don't know why he was so certain of it.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 April 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Slightly related (though not ever ever ever ever to orgasms), a guy I used to work with took great pride in the fact that he looked just like Johnny Mathis.

He did.

Oh the humanity.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 April 2003 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

The payroll guy at my office is Tony Orlando's döppelganger.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 April 2003 23:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I do have to say also that this man was vastly disturbing for so many other reasons (as if this weren't enough)

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 April 2003 23:10 (twenty-two years ago)

micropenis = symptom of extremely severe Klinefelter Syndrome

"49,XXXXY variant: The classic triad is mild-to-moderate mental retardation, radioulnar synostosis, and hypergonadotropic hypogonadism. Other clinical features include severely impaired language, behavioral problems, low birth weight, short stature in some individuals, abnormal face (round face in infancy, coarse features in older age, hypertelorism, epicanthal folds, prognathism), short or broad neck, gynecomastia (rare), congenital heart defects (patent ductus arteriosus is most common), skeletal anomalies (genu valgus, pes cavus, fifth finger clinodactyly), muscular hypotonia, hyperextensible joints, hypoplastic genitalia, and cryptorchidism. Pea-size testes, micropenis, and infantile secondary sex characteristics are characteristic in patients with 49,XXXXY, whereas patients with 48,XXXY exhibit milder hypogonadism similar to that of patients with 47,XXY."

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 18 April 2003 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, yes, the mood's gone for me, anyway...

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Saturday, 19 April 2003 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

one halloween, a drunk 40-year-old in bar asked me if i was supposed to be johnny depp. as if.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 19 April 2003 02:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Who would dress up as Johnny Depp?

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 20 April 2003 06:37 (twenty-two years ago)

If you're lucky, you'll be a drunk 40 year old yourself one day. If you're lucky.

― Skottie, Sunday, 20 April 2003 07:11 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

This was seriously the best thread ever--it just cheered me up immensely.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

how did I miss this?

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

needs more swans

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, normally you would've been all over the NFL player + Ally joke!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

needs more swans

http://www.touchdown-treasures.com/swann.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

HOW DID I MISS THIS THREAD?

fantastic, Sarah that 6FU pic upthread was way yummy.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

this part was gold:

How ungodly male of you all. Sex became football in under an hour. Check please.
I'll second that. Who in their right mind, male or female, prefers contemplating Payton Manning's orgasms to Jeanne Fury's?

-- Kenan Hebert (mondria...), April 17th, 2003 9:42 PM. (kenan) (link) (admin) (32.97.239.18)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

payton manning?
-- mark s (mar...), April 17th, 2003 9:44 PM. (mark s) (link) (admin) (62.3.248.226)

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I still say, 'yes please.'

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i just say please?

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

PLEASE!

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not falling for that again, lady.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

insert "you can fall on THIS one though" joke here

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

now insert insert joke here

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

I stand by my opinion of Peyton Manning porn, FWIW.

― Allyzay, Monday, 5 January 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Changed 'yes, please' to 'now, dammit'.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 06:47 (twenty-one years ago)

two posts in TWO days - on an orgasm thread?
wot ze fk?!

Don't be shy ppl, do keep coming!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 10:13 (twenty-one years ago)

your hand is your friend.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Horace OTM

― webcrack (music=crack), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

nine months pass...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha omg

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 20:29 (twenty years ago)

This thread is seriously one of the greatest things ever.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 20:42 (twenty years ago)

there's nothing better than the dream-gasm, somewhere between sleeping and waking.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 23:25 (twenty years ago)

Orbit otm - in fact, it's in that semi-dreaming state that coming makes absolutely no difference to my arousal - it's like the chemical reaction that makes blokes turn off after orgasm hasn't been put into action. Very strange, pretty rare, but great.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 23:36 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

oh.

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 8 January 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 8 January 2005 16:14 (twenty years ago)

Canada, hotbed of lust.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 8 January 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

"hotbed"

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 8 January 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

i dislike "dreamgasms", especially when you come after having a dream with relatives in it.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 8 January 2005 23:47 (twenty years ago)

i mean, talk about starting your day off weird!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 8 January 2005 23:48 (twenty years ago)

It's your mom, dude.

― xAARONHZx, EXTREME ILXOR LOOK ALL CAPS (AaronHz), Saturday, 8 January 2005 23:59 (twenty years ago)

no it was my sis...:-/

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 9 January 2005 00:05 (twenty years ago)

Hardly a surprise, considering her reputation.

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 9 January 2005 00:39 (twenty years ago)

Hey latebloomer, you ever read "The Hotel New Hampshire"?

― xAARONHZx, EXTREME ILXOR LOOK ALL CAPS (AaronHz), Sunday, 9 January 2005 01:26 (twenty years ago)

four months pass...

"The female orgasm, she said, 'is for fun.'"

GOD REALLY IS A WOMAN. DO YOU SEE???

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

(wait, save for the part about "phasing out." wrong, so wrong.)

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

NEED.... MORE.... ORGASMS!

― Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

I dunno, the "for fun" thing goes into poetic interpretation. I was reading this the other day and thinking, you know, following her logic you could say the female orgasm was totally vestigal, and that female circumcision was the equivalent of removing the appendix! Not that I'd say either of those things, obviously -- I just found it weird that a scientist would try and spin this theory with words like "for" and "fun."

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

Wait, I guess I'd be fine with the first of those things being true: nobody cares if it's biologically vestigal so long as it's fun. It'd be like furries and people born with tails.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

you could say the female orgasm was totally vestigal, and that female circumcision was the equivalent of removing the appendix!

this presupposes that orgasm is dependent on the bits removed during FGM, though.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

(sorry to be pedantic, should I talk about how awesome orgasms are when you're pregnant?)

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

they're noticably better?

― kelsey (kelstarry), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

oh yes.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

True on both counts -- my orgasms have been really top of the line ever since you got knocked up.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

teeny has a superiority complex about herr orgasms, obv.

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Her husband is German?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

how is it that they're better? why?!

― kelsey (kelstarry), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Someone print out this thread for when Teeny's future child learns to read.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Don't dab your eye, mein herr
Or wonder why, mein herr
I've always told you I was a rover
You mustn't knit your brow
You should have known by now
You'd every cause to doubt me mein herr.

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

ok obviously this may not be true for every woman/every pregnancy, but due to all the happenins in that neighborhood, your body is sending a lot more blood down there (just like when you're aroused). Your pink bits go a shade darker, believe it or not. Your g-spot also gets more engorged. I happen to be very g-spot oriented, so maybe this is why it affects me in such a beneficial manner. My libido is up, I orgasm more easily, and on average they're of higher quality. Also--and this sounds weird at first but if you think about it it makes sense--I don't have the worry of getting pregnant in the back of my head.

Some women become uninterested in sex when pregnant, though, it can totally vary.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

Now I'm worried Tamika wasn't just really into me.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

that makes complete sense. it's so fascinating!

― kelsey (kelstarry), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

must get laid

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

help

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

I love that we have two women calmly discussing orgasms and three guys circling around making bad jokes. It's like high school all over again.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

I want to go to your high school.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Saturday, 21 May 2005 06:30 (twenty years ago)

I did go to your high school - who do you think the women were talking about?

― Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 21 May 2005 11:20 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2007/writers/don_banks/01/22/colts.patriots/Manning.jpg

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Monday, 22 January 2007 20:49 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

Herr Orgasms?

(also, can Teeny's kid read yet?)

― Mark G, Monday, 3 November 2008 16:35 (sixteen years ago)

an orgasm thread [Started by nickalicious (nickalicious) in April 2003, last updated 32 seconds ago by Mark G] 1 new answer
A desperate, pitiful, embarrassing plea [Started by sunny successor in August 2008, last updated 55 seconds ago by corrie ham (roxymuzak)] 9 new answers

― Vichitravirya_XI, Monday, 3 November 2008 16:36 (sixteen years ago)

an orgasm thread [Started by nickalicious (nickalicious) in April 2003, last updated 3 hours ago by Vichitravirya_XI] 2 new answers
The Best Picture You've Ever Taken. Ever. [Started by sugarpants (sugarpants) in February 2005, last updated 3 hours ago by metametadata (n/a)] 1 new answer

― Mark G, Monday, 3 November 2008 20:36 (sixteen years ago)

move thread to too much TMI please it's offensive and disgusting, even if not explicity NSFW.

― ian, Monday, 3 November 2008 20:37 (sixteen years ago)

err, i love TMI.
"TOO MUCH TOO MUCH INFORMATION"

― ian, Monday, 3 November 2008 20:37 (sixteen years ago)

shall I pick you up at the airport, oops?
― luna (luna.c), Thursday, April 17, 2003 4:19 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Yes, please. I'll be the one with the huge...smile on my face.
― hoops (Oops), Thursday, April 17, 2003 4:35 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
There's no one here!
― oops (Oops), Thursday, April 17, 2003 4:55 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― nabisco, Monday, 3 November 2008 20:39 (sixteen years ago)

wow

― jordan s (J0rdan S.), Monday, 3 November 2008 20:40 (sixteen years ago)

I don't have the worry of getting pregnant in the back of my head.

Wah

― Not the real Village People, Monday, 3 November 2008 23:15 (sixteen years ago)

I'll be the one with the huge...smile on my face.

And I will be the one with the fantastic porno body who isn't there. You'll know me when you don't see me.

sigh.

Oh, luna.

― Mozarella sticks. Think about it. (kenan), Monday, 3 November 2008 23:19 (sixteen years ago)

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