A thread about the intricacies and etiquette of round-buying?

Drinking speed is a complicating factor. This arrangement may require Z to get a flier before the next round. But it's better to buy inot the round and then get your flier if necessary than to get your flier then find that - oops - you're not ready to buy the drinks next time round.

Of course if X is feeling especially generous or welcoming then he or she can get up and buy Z a starter drink which makes it all easy. Z should then endeavour to buy the next round, drinking speed and alphabetisation notwithstanding.

But in reality Person Z should get his own, and then its Person Y's round next. But (and this is where it gets tricky) who gets the round after that.

Secondary question. Someone in the round has asked for wine. The bar staff ask if you want large or small. What's the answer?

DV system works well and ought to be employed when there are above say, four people drink and definately when people are floating in and out.

Also large wine = about a thousand pounds in most pubs.

If so they are generous but slightly over eager to please.
If not they are alcoholics.

In the original example, Z should get their own drink (asking the others out of courtesy, though they will both say no). The next round should be Y's *or* Z's, depending on who finishes their drink first.

Next time I ask for a shandy and the round-buyer makes a fuss, I shall take back my order and ask for a bottle of champagne instead.

I agree - people jumping up to get pints for latecomers is a step too far in my book.

Then yeah, Person Y buys a round

Yup.

But (and this is where it gets tricky) who gets the round after that.

Person Z! Obviously. So yeah, if they stopped drinking at that point then Person Z will have paid for 4 pints and only drunk three. And Person X will have got one free pint out of it. But that's hardly a great imbalance in the great scheme of things. Look at it as a penalty for being late, or a bonus for being early and first to buy (with the risk that you'll never even get your first round back if everyone wants to go home early).

There are bigger inequities to nail. Basically the way kind people who offer to buy drinks for all and sundry all the time are freeloaded off by people who always accept but rarely buy.

What about cheap house doubles?

I think small with wine. IME a regular glass of wine takes the same time for a wine drinker as a pint for a beer drinker.

But then just before the sweet spot, I get involved in a discussion about Mark Lamarr/the KLF/ScooterInflation in Germany between the wars and when I look up again everyone has more booze, so actually I'm a skinflint.

Yes, but sadly game theory comes into play, Tim. You are a good and generous round buyer but I have seen you get shafted by others who exploit this.

My golden rule: err on the side of generosity except when there a million people in a group, half of whom have no idea about round-returning ethics.

I often wonder whether people who are recalcitrant round buyers or regular round-avoiders think the rest of us don't notice.

(And the main reason is my being poor, to be honest.)

It's a drink inserted between rounds when it's plain that it's not the drinker's turn to buy another round.

i think a major thing ppl have missed here is ppl sitting in pubs WITHOUT A DRINK (alcoholic or soft, christ, even a coffee!) OF ANY KIND which is a personal bugbear of mine.

Carsmile you are a pub nazi. If you don't want to be constantly imbibing liquid you shouldn't be forced to! I bet you love pubs run by Hitler.

I must admit to being hopeless with rounds, so I ask if it's my round, and am trusting of my friends.

*may explain my mild headache this morning

i think this stems from watching large groups of people (often, but not exclusively, styooooouuuuudents) going into pubs and taking up seats when they have no intention of purchasing *any* product from the premises, thus leaving solid drink buying folk without seats...

Also, one is usually exempt from the round buying duties on one's birthday.

I think once there are more than six people, a round ought to be just for those who need drinks. This plays into the hands of the fast drinkers, but that doesn't really bother me. I'm quite halppy to sit a round out if I don't need a drink. Unles sits being bought by a notoriously poor roundateer.

I'm not sure exactly what kind of non drinking you mean. In your gang of students scenario I'd agree but I don't think I've ever seen a group of people where the majority weren't drinking anything.

hmmm, try quite a few sinister things where I've been embarrassed by the huge number of people sitting round not drinking.

can they have a Coke with several straws in, between 'em, like?

With FAPs especially, given the numbers, I tend to buy for whoever needs a drink when I think it's my turn to go up, and if I think there's someone who I really owe drinks to, then I'll keep an eye on them, and offer them a flyer. Sometimes I'll spend a fortune, other times I'll feel really guilty because I haven't bought that many, but I think it all works out in the wash. (I hope)

re. getting a latecomer a drink, if you know the exact group numbers, and it's just the one person, I'll get them a drink when they arrive, and they'll catch up with the round and join in. With drinks after work if someone's working a bit later, but definitely coming to the pub, then well get them a drink in, so it's sitting there on the table waiting for them.

Maybe I haven't been to enough FAPs, but other than possibly myself I can't think of anyone who is a round skinflint, or at least consistently so.

Vic, has the lovely barmaid/manageress in the Apple Tree left now?

Could we broaden this thread to include the intricacies and etiquette of bringing booze round to ppl's houses/parties, pl?

I am almost always on a shoestring budget when out except in the summertime when I work. It's quite guilt inducing having certain mates who've carried me through desperate times. I am a generous person trapped inside a lazy broke one.

I am glad now though because I start a job on monday and it pays very well so IT'S PAYBACK TIME.

The (surely obvious) golden rule is that if over your life you get markedly more drinks bought for you than you buy other people then you are a miser or a ho.

Mary - Person Z can certainly go to the bar and get their own drink. It's what I always do, often (but not always) asking if anyone else needs one before I do it. I reckon there's only been about ten times in my life where someone at the table has got up to get me one. It's not the norm.

Vicky roxx though thanks to buying me a pint before I had even spoken to her.

FAPs are always weird for round-buying

speshly if you arrive part-way thru the evening with two other ppl with whom you have been drinking elsewhere and have been part of a completely different round-buying group!

(course I can say that, as I've been a mucho lucky recipient...)

The WORST thing I do is have put on a "surprised" tone when I get asked what to drink, even though I know that a round is coming. I then go "Um . . . *long pause* . . . same again please!". And I KNOW I'm not the only one to do this.

Its shocking cos its true.

A. Just buy a drink for themseleves

B. Offer to buy a drink for some ppl, thus risking embarrassing those who are offered drinks and offending those who are not

or

C. Not be in the bluddy pub in the first place if they're skint, but should be at home in front of the telly!

I assure you, the alcohol free view your antics with nothing more malevolent than amusement.

Because HSA is very into round buying, and sometimes I am expected to participate and sometimes his mates get funny if I try to participate. I have some female friends who never ever ever participate in round-buying, even though they invariably accept drinks when offered. So I never know quite what to do!

I try to buy drinks for people who regularly buy me drinks. But it isn't always financially possible for me to get into round-buying.

I've no problem with offering drinks to people I like without accepting anything in return but usually there's a tacit understanding as to whether its a 'round' drink or you're just buying one out of generosity.

Mog, I think probably the next time W shrugs her round onto her partner, you (or your partner) should perhaps just bring it up. Or else, when it comes round to your partner's turn, pointedly skip on to the next person. Maybe W will get the hint?

Do I:

A - just buy a round for the people sitting round the table at that time
B - ignore the people at my table and buy drinks for those who have already bought me one
C - buy drinks for both groups of people
D - buy drinks for everyone at the FAP below the Cheeky Line

I think I tend to end up plumping for Option C - am I being a mug? Or occasionally A - am I being tight?

Although May = month of poverty so I might be rubbish.

What kind of woman invariably accepts drinks when offered but never buys a round, Kate?? This is not 1950s Hollywood! (unfortunately)

x-post

What kind of woman invariably accepts drinks when offered but never buys a round, Kate?? This is not 1950s Hollywood! (unfortunately)

I know some. This does happen.

But if money is tight then I'd say just get drinks for those who've already got you one - in an evening of people swapping seats it's otherwise impossible to judge fairly who to get drinks for.

was that wrong? should i have ruined the order so that i could offer to buy drinks?

also, what's this cheeky line that i've missed? or will i be sorry i asked?

I don't know. When I'm the economising person, I try to decline if the person shows any sign of doing it out of obligation, or explain upon being asked that I cannot reciprocate. But, as the charming and lovely Matt DC has pointed out upthread, some people do just buy you drinks coz they like you. :-)

jesus xpost

Is fizzy green drink(soda and lime) some sort of bizzaro Glaswegian slang for cocaine now?

I tend to not get into rounds at FAP - I'll see who wants a drink and buy them a drink and get the same in return. You tend to be bought or buy for those with who you're chatting with at the time, and if you're circulating the people there, you'll normally end up there or therabouts over a night; if not, it tends to even itself out over a season. The biggest 'issue' is when you arrive; I tend to find people I have something I want to specifically say something to and take it from there.

For FAP, I'm coming to the idea that if you're there early doorish, buying everyone there is a lovely thing to do. If it' s later in the day, then get some booze for yourself, start chatting and take it from there.

The point of a round is that people end up paying roughly the same amount without the inconvenience of buying drinks seperately, so if you end up ordering a round of alcohol that's more than you can ever drink in a night, you're probably being a mug.

My strategy normally is when my glass is empty, i offer a round, if my glass gets empty again and i've already bought a round (and not had any in return) then i get myself one. If the gathering is small (3-4 ppl) then it's a bit different obv since you can drink more than one round.

I'm also an idiot who never remember to bring cash with me, so i end up buying a big round at the start anyway to get up to the £10/whatever minimum for switch payments in a lot of pubs, and then i don't have to worry as i will have no cash to buy any form of rounds.

so thanks for making my night amusing, even though you weren't there!

a) buy a round of stella for everyone
b) buy yourself a stella, and everyone else carling pisswater
c) a round of carling pisswater for all, yourself included

bearing in mind stellas come in one of them fancy stella glasses so people will know what's been done.

I do not understand!

But what if when it comes to your round, you're feeling a bit bloated, or are lagging behind and really only want a Coke, or a half. Do you have to announce to the table "I DID NOT PLAN IT THIS WAY!"

you've certainly been in the same room as tom, dunno if you know him though.

i assume that it is because we all have jobs that allow large chunks of downtime to kill on the internet, rather than they are curious and fascinated by my 'other' life.

(xpost-- kate, he only reads what i show him...i hope! eek.)

Haha my wife is never drinking with you people again! She has a very strict "I never buy drinks" policy born of being raised in the chivalrous South (which on a certain level I can understand; when we go out, we are a unit, we have one source of income, plus she drinks a LOT slower than everyone else in the world).

granted i'm a bit slow this morning, but why is this offensive?

This is a big part of it, I think. To this day my wife hates carrying money/a wallet and we've been together as a couple for 11 years. I think she sees it as a sign of our couple-tude.

Dave means if when it's other people's rounds, you're asking for a more expensive drink than whe one you buy for yourself on your own round.

I reckon there's only been about ten times in my life where someone at the table has got up to get me one. It's not the norm.

And I thought he was... ... popular.

but if you're buying OTHERs the drinks which are more expensive... i mean if it's

round 1
A lager (buying)
B lager
C lager
D long island iced tea

round 2
A lager
B lager (buying)
C lager
D long island iced tea

round 3
A lager
B lager
C lager (buying)
D long island iced tea with ice

round 4
A lager
B lager
C lager
D tap water (buying)

then yeah ok. but is it that wrong to be frugal towards yourself if you're buying the others what they ask for?

"Feeble" is an overstatement. Haha I wonder how the expats are getting on in New York.

round 4
A long island iced tea
B long island iced tea
C long island iced tea
D X (buying)

then it's fair whatever X is.

Then it's A's round.

(i) If B buys drink 1?
(ii)If B buys drink 1 but not drink 2?
(iii)If C buys drink 1 and 2?
(iv)If D cops off?

also: in the summer i quite often fancy a pint of hoegaarden, but i've yet to find a way of accomodating this within round buying; either you cause offence by asking people to pay for it, or you cause offence by offering to make up the difference. or you order halfs, obviously, but that's clearly rubbish too.

That's the whole point.

"Feeble" is an overstatement. Haha I wonder how the expats are getting on in New York.

Au contraire. Last night the ultra-chivalrous Tim H. took a break from buying drinks for everyone in his line of view to ask me how much tip he should leave.

Do I:

A - just buy a round for the people sitting round the table at that time
B - ignore the people at my table and buy drinks for those who have already bought me one
C - buy drinks for both groups of people
D - buy drinks for everyone at the FAP below the Cheeky Line

I think I tend to end up plumping for Option C - am I being a mug? Or occasionally A - am I being tight?

This seems crazy to me. I would definitely choose A. The way social drinking situations work, people are floating around to different tables, standing at the bar, playing pool, getting it on in the bathroom, and/or standing outside smoking, and you would have to make the rounds to personally deliver a drink to each person, just because they sat at your table at the beginning of the night?

I would choose option A in the hopes that it would all work itself out in the end. The one time I might chase someone to the end of the bar to buy them back a drink is if I knew they were relatively poor and could definintely use to have a drink bought back for them.

A propos of the 'cheeky line' (my new favorite term) is one required to ask someone with a drink above the cheeky line if they would like another? I have done (to be polite) and was informed yes (!)...Unless you are Carey and like to keep two drinks at the ready at all times, I think this is foul play, especially when the person 'offering' has no money and is only doing it to be polite.