Why are you unhappy now?

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Another monster thread prompts a fresh start.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 23 August 2003 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

b/c ned keeps restarting threads.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 23 August 2003 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned is a genius! Shut your cake hole!

I am unhappy because I cannot seem to motivate myself to do anything. Or is the other way around? Chicken and egg, I s'pose.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 23 August 2003 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank God for Ned and his Thread Cleaver [tm]

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 23 August 2003 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and I'm not unhappy, though I am *Supremely Annoyed* from time to time.

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 23 August 2003 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

$405 a week?! Unemployment?! That's like £300 a week?! That's a decent wage!!! I must be missing something and / or am drunk.

― David. (Cozen), Saturday, 23 August 2003 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

you're missing the part where he lives in NYC which has the highest cost of living of any city in America

― Millar (Millar), Saturday, 23 August 2003 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah reet. I see.

― David. (Cozen), Saturday, 23 August 2003 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

and the part about the check not showing up this week.

― hstencil, Saturday, 23 August 2003 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

NYC cost of living is high, but no higher than London's, as far as I can tell.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Sunday, 24 August 2003 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

There was an international cost of living list published recently-NYC was no. 1, Tokyo no. 2 and London was actually out of the top 10 this year (I think).

― Barima (Barima), Sunday, 24 August 2003 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Really? I thought Tokyo was still #1, and London #2. I know that CNN Money tells me that moving from Austin, TX to NYC and maintaining my current standard of living would require a 107% salary increase.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Sunday, 24 August 2003 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

the alternator light in my crappy 1981 car is going on and i have a meeting Mon morning. arrgghhhhh

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 24 August 2003 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

thinking how much i'm going to miss friends in college, and how i won't even have time to see some people before i leave.

― Maria (Maria), Sunday, 24 August 2003 01:28 (twenty-one years ago)

no one has my land line.

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 24 August 2003 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

If you've read my eye problems thread you'll know the big thing. So I got home from work on Friday needing the weekend to relax. The moment I got in the house and stopped the walkman I heard running water. The ballcock in the cistern had kind o9f fallen apart and it was overflowing likecrazy. My conservatory was kind of flooded (I won't bother explaining this house). I managed some temporary repairs, but they aren't going to last. I'm now awaiting a plimber, who will no doubt charge me £100 for five minutes work.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 24 August 2003 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

NYC which has the highest cost of living of any city in America
Something stupid that doesn't apply, Tokyo!

Something else stupid which also doesn't apply, London!

I'm unhappy bcz people on ILX are fucking retarded and can't read sentences.

And my gf has decided to quit the boards bcz a lot of you also happen to be a bunch of bitchy assholes (this only applies to a specific group of shitbirds whom I have no compunction against naming shd you give me call to do so (eg try saying words and see where that gets you (do you realize that barely anyone likes you anyway))).

Being socially retarded IRL doesn't mean you get to 'rule the school' OTI. Just so you know. Thanks.

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 24 August 2003 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Because I'm doing another fucking events staffing shift, turning up at 1pm, not getting home till half 11, and stuck either with a) nobody or b) a bunch of fucking morons all day, whilst answering people's queries about "Where's the face painting tent?". Look at the fucking map, that's what it's there for.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 24 August 2003 09:43 (twenty-one years ago)

millar, cozen's original question was abt comparisons between america and elsewhere => bringing up more info abt elsewhere isn't an attack on yr point, it's a continuation of the discussion yr also contributing to

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 24 August 2003 10:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Millar, the London thing did apply because David was talking in pounds. If London's cost of living is the same as NYC (and this may not be the case, I admit) that $405 a week is more in real terms than some of my London friends get for working full time.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Sunday, 24 August 2003 10:17 (twenty-one years ago)

get the calculators ready folks ;)

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 24 August 2003 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

okay $405 a week. That gets you a third of your rent in Manhattan, assuming you want a half-decent bathroom to yourself. $405 a week elsewhere = not the point. I stated the fact that NYC is the most expensive place to live in the USA which was then completely glossed over by one person I don't know jack shit about (and therefore shouldn't really judge so fiercely, conceded) and then completely ignored by a jackass I've already expressed my contempt for elsewhere.

The key point I suppose is that Kenan Hebert makes me ill. If other ILX posters are allowed to be completely rude and abusive towards the ones I care about then I can be rude and abusive towards him too. If this is the kind of environment that the moderators see fit to maintain I see no reason to argue. If you want to dish it out you'd better be ready to take it.

Also: Orbit! Fuck off I hate you.

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 24 August 2003 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I am unhappy because this thread got regenerated before the "why are you happy" one, and I wish people had more reasons to be happy than unhappy.

I am a hippy at heart, I'm coming to accept this.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 24 August 2003 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Psssh. When ppl are happy they tend not to be on ILX and instead be out running around with physically attractive types doing wonderful things and taking photos and getting buzzed on various things, especially booze, since alcohol is the foundation of the english-speaking world.

When they think life sucks and they confine themselves to their room surfing the internet bcz they don't feel like dealing with actual real people = they post here. The happy v. unhappy post count is a natural result of the flawed sampling metric.

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 24 August 2003 11:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i am happy bcz i hate physically attractive types doing wonderful things

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 24 August 2003 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, so if we're all a bunch of pathetic social retards, why is Millar so angry that his girlfriend's leaving the boards?

― animal wrangler (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 24 August 2003 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

London should be #1 on list of most horrible worthless places to live. Everybody who says 'leave then', fuck you. I'm going to stay and make you miserable and if you don't like it you can eat shit. Anybody who says 'stay then', fuck you. Anybody says "well I'm having a great time", I hope you die. Anybody who claims to agree with me, well it's probably your fault anyway so fuck yourself. I don't care if people agree or disagree with me, as long as they just shut the fuck up or better yet just die. Fuck everybody. I'm tired of doing what anyone else says. I'm tired of doing anything that will have the slightest fucking benefit for anybody else besides me, even unintentionally. Anybody who says "not that you ever have done" can fuck off and die too. All I wish is pain and misery on everybody. I'm all I care about and the whole world "can eat shit for all I care"

― dave qonnie marble, Sunday, 24 August 2003 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

thank you Tom. If it wasn't for yr rant we wouldn't have dave q's post.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 24 August 2003 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I just feel like posting, a whole buhch of things are irritating me but what am I, a unison guitar solo? NO, YR NOT so it's ok, let's all join hands and be happy.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 24 August 2003 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

dave q sends me into an abyss of despair. it's all the more depressing that i know he WANTS to do this...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Sunday, 24 August 2003 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

*join hands* and *be happy* everyone

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 24 August 2003 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Millar, I don't know what your problem is, and I don't care what your problem is.
have a nice day.

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 24 August 2003 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

because my life is shit and i have no career. i will soon plow my car into a cement wall. problem fixed.

― malcom breast, Sunday, 24 August 2003 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

well i wasn't before I read the last dozen or so posts here. why people live the majority of their life pissed off at the world is...yeah, i'll just shut up.
I'm off to go have fun on this beautiful summer day.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 24 August 2003 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, go and play soccer and have some ice cream.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 24 August 2003 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

soccer? Oh, you mean footie. Right-o. That's actually a pretty good idea.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 24 August 2003 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah. footie.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 24 August 2003 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

haha this is the thread where drunks give a fuck at one in the afternoon or they don't actually and you get to decide because we're all so clever and frankly Jody you can have ILX all to your damn self

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 24 August 2003 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

You're not exactly making it any better, Millar. Do you piss in the fridge when you've decided you don't like a party, too?

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 24 August 2003 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, your all "everyone's a moron and i'm pissed off about it" schtick was played out months ago.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 24 August 2003 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

haha problem is it's still true

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 24 August 2003 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

oh lord

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 24 August 2003 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Forget the last few months, I'm talking about today. I like Tom. That's why I'm saying: log off. Go outside. It's a nice day out today in most of the country thanks to a high pressure front that's keeping it mild and sunny. It's Sunday. It's August. There are only a few days like this a year. Go. You're making yourself look bad, and it isn't going to go away. These threads are going to be here in a year, two years, five years, and no one likes to be reminded of their own past dramas. If you're going to be here then, you won't like it. If you're already certain you won't be here then, don't bother being here now.

You're doing what you accuse Orbit of doing, and doing it in your own style doesn't make it better. Having built up the benefit of the doubt doesn't make it better, and that benefit isn't an unlimited resource. It depends on the grace of others, and you're leaning pretty fucking hard on that grace.

When you come down to it, no one ever gives a damn who's right or wrong. They give a damn who they'd rather be around. No one has any reason to want to be around you right now, and that's a shame. You're only embarrassing yourself and the people who would otherwise come to your defense.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 24 August 2003 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

It's nasty hot outside so i'm hiding in. I have tons of school work to do but am making cds.

Mainly I'm unhappy though b/c I finally broke down and bought the 50 Cent CD and therefore feel like an RIAA punk. YA HAPPY?!?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 24 August 2003 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

goddamn motherfucking piece of shit CAR

― luna (luna.c), Sunday, 24 August 2003 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm unhappy because i'm single for the first time in almost two years and still hung up on ex. said ex has just txted me to wish me luck at start of college tomorrow. what does this mean? why? :(

― thuddd (thuddd), Sunday, 24 August 2003 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

the ex wants you to have a good start?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 25 August 2003 00:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm unhappy because a dear friend said she'd come over so we'd see each other one last time before leaving, and she didn't. she didn't even CALL.

― Maria (Maria), Monday, 25 August 2003 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

you know one person can only take so much abuse.
Sam, hand me the rope, we can go out together.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 25 August 2003 01:31 (twenty-one years ago)

'Cause I just wrote a pissy response to mark s on the Morley thread, even though he's the person I want most to post there.

I'm unhappy that I wrote the phrase "most to post."

But the phrase "most to post" will make you feel superior to me and therefore will make you happy, which will make me happy. (But I'm not supposed to say such things on this thread.)

This week I made $230. Last week I made $0. I feel apprehensive, for some reason.

I do not feel as apprehensive as I should. This makes me happy.

― Frank Kogan (Frank Kogan), Monday, 25 August 2003 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm happy 'cause i'm stupid

― duane, Monday, 25 August 2003 05:00 (twenty-one years ago)

so stupid i just posted that on the wrong thread

― duane, Monday, 25 August 2003 05:01 (twenty-one years ago)

AUTHENTIC

― duane, Monday, 25 August 2003 05:01 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm unhappy because i'm stressed and i'm stressed because there are people in my life who just have to make everything painful, difficult and strange. after trying everything to make things work they just go right ahead and screw with it again.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 25 August 2003 05:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Cuz this is the beginning stage of my son eventually not actually living with me anymore and I'm becoming a vampire.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 25 August 2003 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

im unhappy cos i dont like my job, i got another 10 days on call 24/7 and im having a lil trouble letting go of a stupid and pointless fantasy.

― hellbaby (hellbaby), Monday, 25 August 2003 08:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Because it's a Bank Holiday and I have to go in and do some icky filing at work.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 25 August 2003 08:44 (twenty-one years ago)

because it's a Bank Holiday

― dave q, Monday, 25 August 2003 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

you want to work?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 10:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Because someone turned our water supply off and now it's back on, the water is the colour of urine:(

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 25 August 2003 10:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not, I don't get it

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 25 August 2003 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Julio - no, but because inner London is a fucking boring as hell because nothing is open, but leaving the city is out of the question because not only are all the trains fucked as usual but they're crowded with the usual noisy ugly misshapen shit that usually mindlessly crowds out everything on holidays. That's the main fucking reason I hate England, because everybody does everything at the exact same fucking time, which wouldn't bother me if I could find even the smallest thing to like about anybody in my immediate vicinity, but I don't

― dave q, Monday, 25 August 2003 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

That sounds like all countries, tho, not a bad reason to unhappy of course

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 25 August 2003 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw... dave is so sweet.

I'm unhappy right now because my stomach hurts and a visit to the doctor is in my immediate future.

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 25 August 2003 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I came into work expecting my boss to be back, but then he called in and I could hear the waves crashing in the background. He didn't even think I'd be at work today because he always forgets my vacation days (it's Friday, not today). So I got all excited that I'd get another bossless day, but then he said, "I'll see you in 30 minutes." *sigh* How is that even possible? Does he just say things like that to try to keep me from slacking?

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Monday, 25 August 2003 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I would say so sarah. no ilx for you today ;)

fair enough dave.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

cause ive got lawyers up my arse BIG TIME

― kephm, Monday, 25 August 2003 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm happy that this thread wasn't on the shortform New Answers page.

I pay my credit card bill one day late, and they charge me $46. Jesus crap. My available credit plummetted, Netflix's charge was rejected, etc. etc. My check cannot come soon enough.

I'm also slightly annoyed that my financial aid check is divided into two chunks for the semester. Previous schools have not done this. I was not told this would be done. If not for my fee waiver, this would fuck me over because it would mean not getting any cash at all until the end of October.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Two and a half days left until unemployment. My dad is lucid enough now to where he realizes I'm the son he likes less and has started to ask me to leave not long after I start to visit him. Don't know if they're gonna pay me for my second week of holidays because I had to take most of a week off when my dad went down. Things that used to make me feel really good only give me temporary relief now. That rock in Nunavut I've been thinking of crawling under is calling my name. I say things like this and I feel even worse, thinking I should just shut the hell up and remember there are many people worse off than me, but whatever.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

cos someone i trusted has fucked me over and it really hurts

― hellbaby (hellbaby), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

welcome to the club

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 28 August 2003 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

'Cause I'm filing bankruptcy today and it makes me feel like a complete loser and very, very small

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 28 August 2003 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

But bankruptcy = fresh start! It's a financial do-over!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 28 August 2003 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

bankruptcy rocks! better you than entire counties (like O.C.) or airlines--your debts are a piss in the economic bucket, and all your creditors will get to claim them as losses on their taxes--so you are doing *everyone* a favor!

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 28 August 2003 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Along with the usual shit, I was THIS (holds fingers 2mm apart) close to getting some fuckin' weed and Mr Hotshit Dealer couldn't wait an extra 5 minutes before leaving the vicinity

― dave q, Thursday, 28 August 2003 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

My two closest friends AND my sister (seperate trips) are leaving town for a whole frickin' week. I have no money to go with them.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 28 August 2003 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Saget-ization.

― Larcole (Nicole), Thursday, 28 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Because the girl across the room I let leave with all the words unsaid. : (

― David. (Cozen), Thursday, 28 August 2003 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Because it's taking far too long for things about Iraq to become so patently clear to all that Bush has to start canning a slew of his cronies in order to make next year's chances for him look better (but as a result making him look like even more of a fool for having trusted them in the first place, which suits me just fine, of course). On the bright side the timing might be such that if it all comes to a head next year he'll be swamped by the issue; on the downside, far too many of my fellow citizens are being killed over there in order to make it clear.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 28 August 2003 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

My job is overhwhelming me. And I think he's purposefully distancing himself from me.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 28 August 2003 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Bryan, aw, hon. I'm terribly sorry. *hugs*

I'm unhappy at present because duh, it's August. I don't start getting happier again until it's about mid-October, or mid-September if I'm REALLY lucky. That's when it gets cool enough outside to where I would actually WANT to venture outside and have lovely picnics and completely forget about the thousands of little tiny bloodsucking ants who desperately want to feed off me.

Er, um, hm. Unless there are nice, handy-dandy picnic tables out and I can tote around one of the Bug-Be-Gone sprays. But still, I'm waiting until the temperatures get cool enough to where I *could* wear a sweater but daren't because how often would it be to experience a day like that?

Also experiencing general unhappiness and unrest over offline issues that I'm not going to bother hurling onto the forum because they're just so mundane now and because I'd rather be cheered up by thoughts of going online.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 28 August 2003 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

because i think i just upset somebody and i totally didn't mean to.

― animal wrangler (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 29 August 2003 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

You really couldn't upset anyone, dear. I'm sure that person wasn't upset by you, just wrapped up in their own little personal dramas that have little to nothing to do with you. I know you certainly couldn't upset me.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 29 August 2003 03:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Trapped wind!!

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 29 August 2003 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know if I'm unhappy or just worried; it's That Time Of Year Again and the start of autumn is an excellent thing and frosty wintr-o-ness is something to look forward to but even now I have real Back To School anxiousness and my job finishes today after a year and am embarking on college course that I'm not altogether certain I'm well-equipped for so there are nerves and unsettledness aplenty. And lack of consistent financial security for foreseeable future is a concern. And I've decided that I am frightened of the world in general, which isn't great.

And I just posted something even more incomprehensible and emo-whine than this on another forum which is frequented by various friends and am convinced that it'll be interpreted by them as attention-seeking whingy nothingness, which it is.

― Alex in Rotherham (Alex in Doncaster), Friday, 29 August 2003 09:00 (twenty-one years ago)

My 'problems' are not problems at all, in fact, apologies.

― Alex in Rotherham (Alex in Doncaster), Friday, 29 August 2003 09:04 (twenty-one years ago)

(Now I am unhappy because I brought loads of Last-Day-At-Work cake in today and barely anyone has touched it)

― Alex in Rotherham (Alex in Doncaster), Friday, 29 August 2003 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

There really needs to be a law against bass (not the fish) in apartment buildings. Nighttime, daytime, all the time. I've got my music five notches higher than I'm used to, and it's not doing a thing to drown out the neighbor's bass. Okay, so he's played Radiohead, and that's good, but who the fuck wants to hear just the bassline from Idioteque? NOT TEP, THAT'S WHO.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 29 August 2003 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Because Tep made me contemplate nuns and ferret strap ons and.. and... and you don't know the nuns I knew and...

*brain explodes*

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 29 August 2003 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Rrf.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 29 August 2003 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

*can't read that 'cos my brain exploded*

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 29 August 2003 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

certain body parts hurt.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 29 August 2003 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Just as I get out of the shower and am ready to work, the skies cloud up and as we've been waiting for weeks, to break the heat wave, the clouds come to thunder and the lights dim for a full ten seconds (which is very odd, I haven't seen that before). Gotta close out Word in case the power winks.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 29 August 2003 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't stay on prozac this summer so I stayed in my apartment when not at work being antisocial. I blew off a good friend who I hadn't seen in months. I dropped out of college after wasting a semester hooked on morphine pills. I'm in debt even though my mother says she will help me..but when I do ask then my father glares at me because I worked 24hrs@7.00 for the past 2 months. And to top it all off my two suicide attempts were complete failures (noddingoff+vomiting).

― kevin enas, Saturday, 30 August 2003 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yeah...and I'm sick of this bullshit Harley 100th fest in town that keeps me up till 3am when I'd rather be listening to my music than the bikes

― kevin enas, Saturday, 30 August 2003 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

God damn it! The class I had most wanted to take -- and am already registered for, which means I get charged if I change my schedule -- meets fifteen minutes after my other class ... and a mile away. There's no way I can get from Point A to Point B.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 31 August 2003 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

RUN!!!

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 31 August 2003 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

run as if your life depended on it!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 31 August 2003 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i am unhappy because RJG is creeping me out. Go bother someone else, man, there's a whole board out there.

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 31 August 2003 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not gonna run to class! This is winterland. There's going to be snow and slush and crap like that. (And I have the same problem at the end of that class period, when I'd have to come back to the building I'd just left.) I'm just going to take it next year. It's irritating, and I already have the books, but I'll probably keep them and read them anyway. Hell, I've already started the cult of the saints one.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 31 August 2003 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Hoverboard?

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 31 August 2003 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I would so hoverboard to class. Hell, I'd hoverboard in class. The prof would be all "So, what can we say about Abelard?" and I'd be like, "Bitch didn't have a hoverboard, I can say that."

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 31 August 2003 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm happy because we're finally moving house soon. I'm unhappy because the assholes selling our new home decided they wanted an extra two weeks to clear their stuff out, even though they moved out *two months* ago. That's just taking the piss.

On a deeper level, I'm unhappy living in a country that represents the system that led to the Iraq situation. I want to live in a place where I don't feel/sound like an anarchist for having perfectly reasonable objections. At some point in the future, I see myself retreating to somewhere like Vienna, if I ever have the money to do so. It's the nearest thing to an ambition I can think of, offhand.

I'm strangely happy to be able to say that, though...

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Sunday, 31 August 2003 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I am unhappy because someone whom I still feel in my heart of hearts is a good person is unhappy with me and will probably never speak to me again, which I don't want because I want to get to know this person better. I am unhappy because someone I care about friendship-wise isn't having a good weekend. I hope this person's unhappiness is temporary. I am unhappy because I have to take so many pills and I'm not even suffering from any particularly debilitating malady. I am unhappy because I can't connect to this one file-sharing program right now. I am unhappy because the phone just rang, thus breaking up the relative quiet of the household.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 31 August 2003 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Mining my silver lining: I don't need to take that class; it was an extra one, and actually I was paying for it since my fee waiver only covers a certain number of credit hours. So dropping the class gives me more moolah (I like the moolah), and I'll use the extra couple hours a week to write.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 31 August 2003 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw dude, I just killed my Neopet!

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 31 August 2003 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely a mile in fifteen minutes is about normal walking pace? Even for an old asthmatic like me!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 31 August 2003 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I am unhappy because I have just happened upon a virtually unfixable problem in the code I am working on, which is due for release in a matter of days. This is rather stressful, because it not only means that the release date is not going to be met, but also that I am not going to have any life outside work for the next week or so.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Sunday, 31 August 2003 19:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Not through heavy traffic of both pedestrians and cars (this is a very crowded campus with odd parking), and not in the snow -- not in my experience, anyway. I had a similar problem at a previous school -- the most you can hope for is to get there barely on time, and any day when you a) would like to use the restroom, b) need to go around instead of through because of snow drifts, rain puddles, and so on, or c) are leaving a class that didn't end on time, you end up tromping in late.

(But mostly bear in mind my attitude towards school, too. I have a low threshold of willingness to be inconvenienced -- it's like if I'm at the grocery store, and it turns out the zucchini is kept in a separate bin across the street. I'm probably not going to bother buying zucchini.)

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 31 August 2003 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm lonely.

― Cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 31 August 2003 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Find threads from I Love Everything, by email tmillar@meh.*, after 25 Aug 2003.

None found

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Sunday, 31 August 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

My favourite vegetarian pie (Big Ben Spinach and Mushroom) appears to have been a failure, it's not being sold anywhere. People have such terrible taste, how can this be?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 1 September 2003 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

i've been suicidal lately. a lot.

― dengo matherton (dubplatestyle), Monday, 1 September 2003 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Things do seem to be piling up on me at the moment. Besides the big things of the eyesight problems (a bit worse today, and knowing that my next appointment is over six weeks away) and the fact that Friday is the final hearing over my divorce settlement, and her solicitors have THIS WEEK introduced a request for maintenance after explicitly stating that they were not seeking same at the last hearing, there are a bunch of small things. I had that sort of pre-epileptic episode on Saturday. I had an inexplicably terrible night's sleep last night, all nausea and nerves. Today has been lots of tiny, insignificant bad things: awkward coding problems at work; dropping my dinner while removing it from the oven, getting hot lasagne over me, the floor, everywhere; needing to do laundry and finding that the lodger has used the last of the soap powder, didn't tell me and indeed replaced the empty box in the cupboard; not hearing from my last-Friday date, making it pretty clear that she's not interested.

None of it a big deal on its own, but I feel anxious and nervy and rattled, as if I am heading into a bad episode, one of those where I feel helpless and miserable. Maybe it won't - I've felt like this a few times in the last several months, and I've got through it every time, without things getting too bad. Maybe once the court thing is passed I'll be able to relax or something.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 1 September 2003 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

oh martin hang it there it will get better!

― hellbaby (hellbaby), Monday, 1 September 2003 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope things look up/feel better soon, Martin -- and good luck on Friday, of course.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 1 September 2003 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin, you some karaoke!

― Carey (Carey), Monday, 1 September 2003 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

we love martin s
he gets all our love and luck
strength and courage too

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 1 September 2003 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

ummmmm... that is you NEED some karaoke. I would never say you are some karaoke.

― Carey (Carey), Monday, 1 September 2003 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"Damn, man, you some karaoke. Get in! Wut."

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 1 September 2003 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

what andrew said about millar, seconded.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 00:00 (twenty-one years ago)

For that matter, am I just hitting the wrong threads or has Blount not been posting?

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I broke my Hello Kitty salt shaker and I can not find my address book/diary. I really hope I did not lose it.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i am unhappy because i got a friend a consulting gig. he blew it off, won't return my calls, and i will have to somehow sort it out with the Director tomorrow. i am not happy about this. i did it because he said he needed the money. i guess he doesn't need money as bad as he said, and now it is going to make me look bad at work. it makes me wonder if he ever intended to follow through at all.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 03:43 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is kinda fucked, for any number of reasons.

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah kids! this is what your livejournal is for!!

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 03:56 (twenty-one years ago)

but this thread is historic: it is the thread that started the Great Hate of 2003.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 03:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm unhappy with myself because I keep saying I'll stop smoking and drinking so much, and I haven't, and now I'm getting chest pains and feeling REALLY tired again, and I feel like I have no self discipline... hell I dont even LIKE smoking let alone get cravings, wtf is the matter with me!?

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 04:13 (twenty-one years ago)

it's your inner goth

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 04:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I am unhappy cuz my lovingly discombulated ILtwee has become infected with hatorade to the max.

― nickalicious astounded at what he reads as he catches up on threads from the pas, Tuesday, 2 September 2003 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

My inner goth? God, the outer one's bad enough.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll poison the hatorade and turn it into MATEORADE! :D

Then y'all will lurv each other once more. BOYAAH!

God my chest hurts. I wonder if I should go to see a doctor on the way home? It really is kind of weird feeling...

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

''For that matter, am I just hitting the wrong threads or has Blount not been posting?''

Blount has gone away for the week to visit his sister (or something). I think he also said he will not check on the boards again when he gets back.

but of course he will.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 07:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I noticed he hadn't been posting for awhile and was puzzled that I kind of sorta missed him. *single lonely tear*

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 07:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Vanilla Ice - 'Ice Ice Baby' was just on the radio, I knew all of the words & even nodded my head a few times. I hate myself!
(i know this thread has got pretty serious, good thoughts to those suffering at the moment.)

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 08:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I ate a bunch of Whoppers (malted milk balls, not BK burgers) and now my teeth hurt. Fuck you luna!

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 08:44 (twenty-one years ago)

that steak taco from the 24-hr mexican bakery on union & grand is really messing with my tummy

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the title that's fucked I think, it's like "what's your fucking problem THIS TIME"

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 08:58 (twenty-one years ago)

also implies being unhappy is the constant, and the reasons come and go. maybe this is true for people though.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 08:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but it implies that for "listening," "happy," and "eating," too.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

My statement of unhappiness is contained in the timestamp.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 10:36 (twenty-one years ago)

listening is sort of a given around here though. eating can't be a permanent state, and why are you happy now is an unorthodox sentence compared to why are you unhappy now.

er not that it matters!

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 10:38 (twenty-one years ago)

eating can't be a permanent state,

Oh! *puts down the spoon*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

*steals pint of ice cream*

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

heh heh, that made me chuckle!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I ate a bunch of Whoppers (malted milk balls, not BK burgers) and now my teeth hurt. Fuck you luna!

Don't try to blame me because you can't hang, slick.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I've suddenly realized that I don't like posting here anymore.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

That makes me unhappy.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

DON'T GO, DAN! WE NEED YOU AND YOUR LEVITY!

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Woah woah woah! I didn't say I was leaving, I'm just getting bitter and mean.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I still like you posting here.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Yup, unemployed now. Interviewed for a job that would be really good as far as pay and benefits go, but the owner is a schmoozy textured hair golfing all the time guy and I just plain didn't like him. I go to see the vp this afternoon and he seems a lot nicer. 3 interviews for one job seems ridiculous. It's not like it pays 6 figures or anything.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I miss ILX. 4 days of vacation and then actually having to work today. No good. And it looks like this whole week will be busy at work. Motherfucker. I miss it all. I will have no idea what's going on next time I get to play.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"getting"?

(just teasing!)

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha! Curse you all, I'm no longer unhappy. That makes me unhappy. Oh damn I'm in a loop.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan Perry in stuck-in-a-K-hole shockah!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

if that isn't a tailor-made Perry setup...

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Marvel at the setup. Embrace it. Caress it gently with your tongue. Yeah baby.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Shut your k-hole, Dan!

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Which one? ("Ooh, sauce!")

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

actually ronan, i mostly think it's fucked up because it's typically of anything to do with bad emotions on ile: "serious ones" get (at least seemingly) glib/banal responses (or glossed over/ignored) while someone has an icky poo day or gets a hangnail or something and suddenly it's like your at a small town funeral and there's not enough hankies to go around.

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

That's because we're all basically strangers. The extremely 'serious' problems make people feel inadequate. What do you say without sounding trite?

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Speaking as one person prone to glib/banal responses, I'm often trying to make the upset/hurting person laugh.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't know, oops! (also, i don't think the majority of ile are "strangers" at this point, but that's up for debate.) that's kind of what i meant when i said "fucked up."

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I suppose that looking back it may come off as banal and I actually don't like posting it but i do it anyway bcz I like that person (yes, i spend too much time here).

x-post: well I def am a stranger and don't know most of the posters (do know most of them in London I guess).

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

That was a rhetorical question, gabbo, not 'okay mr. smartypants, what SHOULD we do?'.
You're right about the 'strangers' part though, and I didn't feel right saying that. It's more that there's many different levels of social connections here. If I'm with a group of friends--some I know very well, some I know hardly at all--and my best friend tells everyone about something truly awful that is going on in his life, I'd probably be glib about it in front of everyone, and wait until a private moment to discuss it further.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, obviously some of the "blame" has to lie with the original poster.

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

im still so miserable im daily dreaming up different ways to top myself again
cant seem to get over this latest hump

― hellbaby (hellbaby), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess, if you posted about a serious and personal issue in your life and (say) I responded with advice specific to your situation, would you not feel a bit, I dunno, invaded by my (as a stranger) interjection into a deeply sensitive area of your personal life?? It's such a difficult area, made triply so by the impersonal, easily-nisread nature of the internet forum, that most people play it safe with one-line messages of sympathy, encouragement or humour.

The exception is when someone else has suffered the same problem, but that isn't often the case, you know?

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Glad to hear you're not planning on leaving, Dan.

I'm unhappy right now because I'm feeling that loneliness again. I always go through these cycles where I'll feel great, like I'm surrounded by people who care, and then I'll feel so painfully and powerfully lonely that it impacts practically my whole body and I feel as though this searing pain is just coursing through my veins. I wish I never felt this way, but I do, and it's horrible.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 3 September 2003 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Does it help to know that you're not alone in feeling lonely?

No, didn't think it would.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 3 September 2003 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Does it help to know that you're not alone in feeling lonely?

It sorta helps, because it lets me know that someone else is going through the same feelings and thoughts I'm going through, which makes me feel a bit more like I could actually make it through this.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 3 September 2003 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

, i mostly think it's fucked up because it's typically of anything to do with bad emotions on ile: "serious ones" get (at least seemingly) glib/banal responses (or glossed over/ignored) while someone has an icky poo day or gets a hangnail or something and suddenly it's like your at a small town funeral and there's not enough hankies to go around.

Are you sure that's a bad thing?

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 3 September 2003 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Since ILE is largely dead, no one seems to be on AIM, and I'm still winding down from a long day, I'll continue as if someone had said "yes."

If McLuhan was right about nothing else -- and most days I think he wasn't -- he was right when he said "90% [or whatever his number was] of communication exists to establish the fact that communication is taking place." When something bad happens, and hypothetical Ilxor Pumpkinface tells us about it, Pumpkinface is almost certainly doing so for a shortlist of possible reasons: to vent, to inform us of a situation which affects their activity here, to ask for support of various forms, or to ask for solutions. Most of the big things don't have solutions, or their solutions don't need to be pointed out. Pumpkinface's leg fell off. We can't very well say "Tape it back on." No amount of paeans to the one-legged life, nor eulogies to the lost leg, will bring it back.

So we either go with the trite, and pat Pumpkinface on the back, and say "that sucks," or we make pirate jokes.

The banal, the trite, the glib, the off the cuff, the stupid joke, the groaner, the empty well wishes, these are the meat and veggies of a social system. These are the signs that things are a-okay. This is the static and noise and test pattern that tells you the television's working. This is where the bonds come from, and the shared language, and the in-jokes: the things that make friends friends, instead of just people who like each other.

Pumpkinface has no illusions about the possible results of his post. He knows we can't give him his leg back. He knows we can't distract him from the fact that, hey, he's only got the one leg now. What he wants, more often than not -- whether he realizes it or not -- is simply to splash around to reassure himself that he's still in the puddle.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 3 September 2003 03:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Speaking as someone who just made a mostly miserable update to his own Eye Problems thread, Tep seems to me to be spot on here. No one here is an opthalmologist living here in London (as far as I know) so there are no solutions coming from ILX, and probably no valuable advice, but knowing a few people care really helps when I am feeling low, and that can be made obvious in many different ways.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 7 September 2003 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I am unhappy b/c Martin is having a rough time. *big Texas love*

― Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Sunday, 7 September 2003 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm unhappy because certain people I know who are supersweet and super-nice are suffering the way they are. I do recognize that the saying goes that "You know that God loves you tremendously when He presents you special challenges to overcome," but damn it, it just doesn't make any sense to me at this moment.

I'm also unhappy because... well, you'll just have to check out the latest entry of my LiveJournal (how's that Tep, too much of a self-pimping type of thing to do?) to find out the other reason why I'm unhappy right now.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 7 September 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not self-pimping at all :) When I mention books people can buy, and games, and comic strips, and merchandising galore, with T-shirts and mugs and mousepads, and hopefully a short film soon? That's big pimping. You got nothing to worry about, Dee.

(The mysterious doctor who has added your LJ is me; I just ask that you not mention ILX if you comment on mine, if you don't mind. And I'm often superhumanly spammy, but so it goes.)

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 7 September 2003 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

horrible confession- I'm unhappy because I'm lonely, frustrated & compulsive. I have an evil pervert brain, even back to age 14 I have had compulsions to do immoral, illegal shit, if I ignore it it usually stays OK for a while, even months but then bottles up & I don't know what to do except do it or chop off my balls, & if I do it it turns into a downward slide to a junkie life. Not messing up anyone else's life, no, but if I get caught it could be humiliation at best, or jail, & it's already cost me some jobs & friends. I have talked to professionals, but they usually get freaked out, & I don't trust them the slightest anyways, especially since I grew up with some really fucked up ones of those, so I'm going to keep trying & hope I grow out of it. Looking on the bright side I'm confidently atheist.

― nobody special, Sunday, 7 September 2003 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm just going through another one of those phases where I have no confidence and feel I can do nothing right, I hope it passes soon.

― Larcole (Nicole), Sunday, 7 September 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Because my goddamn sinus hurts and my eyes keep tearing-up so I can't see the screen and the pressure makes me feel like my eye is about to come out of its socket and the place in my skull where it was wired back together is straining under the pressure, too. And I can't blow my nose.

Because I am mad at myself for throwing a pity party and feeling pathetic, when I know that I am damn lucky to be here and alive and that I have a really damn good life.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 8 September 2003 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

at the risk of being a meddler, may i suggest a tried and true self-irrigation? a med-school connection told me about this, and it works--i have horrible sinuses and i do it.

buy a bottle of Ocean (saline solution for the nose)
lie down on the bed, on your back, with your head hanging off the edge of the bed
close one nostril, breathe thru yr mouth and FILL up the whole sinus cavity by streaming the liquid into your nose. Repeat on other nostril.
move yr head side to side then far far back (upper sinuses in the head)
very impt: pinch your nose closed!!!! sit up, tilt yr head down.
run to the sink, let it run out, blow your nose.

the saline helps thin out gross stuff and soothes irritation.
don't sue me if you forget to breathe thru yr mouth and you drown in yr bedroom!

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 8 September 2003 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

*laughing* An excellent idea, Orbit. Thanks. Unfortunately it's a bit late for that to have much use here (though I do do it once every other day or so). Right now I have a small balloon inflated in my sinus cavity to stop bleeding because my blod doesn't clot very well these days. It's the oddest damn feeling (er, the balloon, not the bleeding or the not clotting, I mean). Anyway, that is what I am bitching about *grin*

I remember seeing Carol Burnett on .... Carson? Letterman? One of those, and she drank water through her mouth and then streamed it out her nostrils. The image was replayed in slow motion. Still vividly imprinted in my mind.

I wish I'd known about saline irrigation years ago, as it would have lept my sinus' from getting so bad ... I acutally bought a darn water-pik to make irrigation easier. I still hate the sensation, though .. and yeah, I cough and choke and sound like I am dying (I believe in melodrama at times). It does help, no matter how horrid it feels.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:25 (twenty-one years ago)

wow. i hope your sinuses get better--i've got a "deviated septum" from sinus swelling, but nobody seems to want to do anything about it, and I hope it doesn't get wores.

i wish your poor sinus cavities relief! that balloon thing *does* sound uncomfortable. :-(

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:40 (twenty-one years ago)

matters of the heart. :-(

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Ugh, I am sorry to hear that, Orbit. I know people who have undergone surgery for that problem ... they do say that it helps (well, I think that's what they said. Really, I was recoiling from the idea. Silly me). (Er, if yours got worse would the Dr's be willing to fix it then? Not that I am wishing anyone that ickiness, of course.)

Thanks for the wishes *smile* The darn thing comes out tomorrow. I feel like I am anticipating Christmas or something ... it's that kind of pathetically exciting to think of it being gone.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

my only bit of unhappiness, aside from the whole unsatisfactory job/career thing, is that my ILX crushes live oh so far away.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I was all happy last night and now I feel weird, like yesterday was some bizarre spate of mania, and everything suddenly feels crappy, and people all over the place are accusing me of being a whiny bitch, so I'm feeling really thin skinned and depressed now :(

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

*many good thoughts for the Trayce* :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 8 September 2003 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I haven't been around for a bit (it seems like ages although it was't!) but good thoughts to all of those who are feeling particuarly unhappy at the moment.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 8 September 2003 10:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I was standing in the Tesco with a pair of rubber gloves, noticing that the three or four loads ahead of me all contained tomatoes, and thinking about the statement "I will never buy tomatoes". They're the cooking food, and buying them says "I know that I will have an hour or two to spare for cooking in the next few days, before these go off". I'm not sure I could say that in the foreseeable future, which is sort of a badge of pride. And I was thinking about the time when you realise that some of your principles are eternal, but that they may not always be. I'm unfinished and happy with it, but I may one day get closer to being finished, and learn to cook.

Also, I don't much like tomatoes.

And then I saw her packing her bags, the girl. The girl who was as unfinished as me, who I'd have signed on with in a heartbeat to travel as far towards finished as we'd end up. Who turned me down because she wasn't dating, who I'd missed the opportunity with when she started again, who I'd honestly probably never had a chance with.

She was doing a proper Sunday's shopping with her boy, bags of comestibles and umbrellas. I caught up to her on the escalator and we talked for a while. She'd moved out of the neighbourhood the day before, so it's less likely than before that I'll see much of her, and they don't go out much these days either.

I didn't even ask her if she'd bought tomatoes: it could hardly have made her less mine.

― I saw her standing there., Monday, 8 September 2003 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I'm happy because I no longer have a balloon in my nose. I am unhappy because I still have packing material (er, sorry, that makes it sound like that styrofoam popcorn stuff, which I don't think it is) in place of the balloon and my sinus itches and I can't scratch it and I can't blow my nose.

And the doc says I need to have another spinal tap and bone marrow procedure within the next month. And my hearing loss has increased.

But I do have some Dove chocolate ice cream bars. And that really does help.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Because bullshit.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 03:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Laura, good luck with all of those things. I had a series of operations on my nose when young, including just about everything you can do to a nose short of a nosectomy. One of the procedures was particularly grotesque and sickening, and I won't describe it because some of you might read it unwittingly at mealtimes.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

girl i love gone.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

b/c i just barely finished wolfing down my lunch and only 10 minutes left before the next class. I have very little patience today.

― Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

kill! kill!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Because US Airways wants to sell me a $280 return ($350 after bait and switch) to NYC - but only from the 16th to the 23rd of October.

(stares at ticket to London 16th, back 20th)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Sunday, 14 September 2003 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know. I just am. Very. :(

― Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Sunday, 14 September 2003 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Because it is fiercely obvious, upon finding that lost, awake and alive in front of me, that I don't know how to let go and that I don't know that I have any hope any more.

― David. (Cozen), Monday, 15 September 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

As immature and melodramatic as I sound.

― David. (Cozen), Monday, 15 September 2003 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Because my copy of the Blueprint is missing.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Would you like to borrow mine?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, please!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll have it sent over immediately!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank you, that is v. nice of you :)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

de nada!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 12:58 (twenty-one years ago)

What is this Blueprint??

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 13:01 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the plans for the museum diamond heist ally has gone planned!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Oops, I've said too much!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

because i really miss someone

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

My stomach churning flaming death, my sinuses simultaneously clogged and leaky, some of my closest friends are becoming crazy insane assholes, in some cases lying crazy insane assholes, and I'm feeling completely overwhelmed by this recent spat of life changes (son almost entirely gone from me these days, roommate gone for good, the band I am/was in and whose music I am/was in love with falling apart, years-old friendships falling apart...). Eh, I'm just whining really.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Jay-Z is gonna kick your ass, Pinkpanther!

When he's done with all the blow I mean!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely not, I'm spreading the love & sending his cd trans atlantic to keep the faith!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

*good thoughts to the Nickalicious, man of love*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Because they forgot to put cheetos in my huge bag of Munchies. None. Zero. How the hell does that happen?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 07:04 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

Bob Marley Is This Love.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 8 January 2004 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Because grime is not moving forward fast enough,

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 8 January 2004 08:43 (twenty-one years ago)

because i'm happier than i ought to be!

― the angry cowboy (dick), Thursday, 8 January 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

because yet another otherwise-nice chap i had a Thing with gave me the "you should be going out with boys your own age not old bastards like me" speech, which always comes out sounding like condescending tripe.

also i am out of cheese.

― petra jane (petra jane), Friday, 9 January 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Cos my cat's dying of cancer and I can hear his groans as he tries to breathe past the tumour in his throat through my ceiling

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Friday, 9 January 2004 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck, Andrew, you have my sympathy.

One of my cats, owned for 13 years (a stray so he was at least a few years older), passed away this past July. Do you feel it's time to put him down?

― Broheems (diamond), Friday, 9 January 2004 09:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Not just yet, he's actually pretty happy, tho mostly he just sleeps (in the bath, he's decided that's a wicked place to spend his sickness). He had some chemotherapy and has improved a fair bit today... the worst thing is that when his breathing's at its worst we really shouldn't stroke him, as the purring's too much effort for him and he chokes.

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Friday, 9 January 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

ie. by "improved" I mean he doesn't actually groan much anymore, and thanks for yr sympathies

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Friday, 9 January 2004 09:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually he just ran off outside for the first time in a few days, scratched the fuck out of a tree and went on his merry way, so yay!

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Friday, 9 January 2004 09:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Excellent!! Man, that's really heartening. In my cat's last couple months he really couldn't have managed even that. He pretty much slept 23 hours a day, god bless him.

― Broheems (diamond), Friday, 9 January 2004 10:06 (twenty-one years ago)

We don't have a house to move into. :-(

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 9 January 2004 10:12 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

In the space of a day, both my new Ray Bans and my old cheapo backup sunglasses have broken.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 16 April 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

my brain has finished before my essay.

― m. (mitchlnw), Friday, 16 April 2004 01:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm unhappy for reasons I can't explain. Just an overwhelming melancholy i've had for while.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 01:29 (twenty-one years ago)

my cd burner is broken. and getting it fixed is the last thing i want to deal with this coming week.

also i had a, er, plumbing issue today. no fun.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 April 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(that's not a euphemism for anything; it actually was a plumbing issue.)

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 April 2004 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I did wonder.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 01:37 (twenty-one years ago)

THE TOILET OVERFLOWED OK??

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 April 2004 01:39 (twenty-one years ago)

so that's what they call it these days?

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

'overflowed'

― m. (mitchlnw), Friday, 16 April 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm blushing.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 April 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Goddammit. My mother only just now got around to looking for Red Sox tickets for the weekend I'm visiting -- something I thought she'd done already -- and they're sold out for the season. My first time back in New England during baseball season in seven years.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

The magazine I had been freelancing at for the last six weeks closed yesterday. All the lovely people I've been working with have lost their jobs. It's not so bad for me, because I wasn't a staffer, but still I'm clearing out my desk right now.

Another magazine has butchered a feature I wrote for them.

Plus, when I got home I found the couple I live with, Alice and Paul, are moving out. They wanted a place of their own, which is fair enough, but still.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Aww Anna that is really harsh. *big hugs*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

-young people in the spring are like constantly yapping pups who fight with each other endlessly run around the room and piddle in corners. I'm two seconds away from rolling up a newspaper and swatting them all. (and putting a roll of quarters in the newspaper)

-I'm virtually computerless due to problems that i haaven't been able to fix and the frustration makes me want to cry.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

because loads of good things keep happening (payrise at work, more freelance work, ever-improving social life, going to USA next week, blagging left right and centre) but i still feel kinda worried and empty half the time. how does this 'fun' thing work then?

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I just found out this week my mum has some rare condition which affects her feet and makes it very hard to walk, it's weird I feel bad cos she didn't tell even my Dad until just recently and it explains why she's been kind of irritable for ages, apparently if it gets serious she could end up in a wheelchair and things : (

I'm in a fairly good mood today but it's still been kind of undermining my mood since I heard, particularly since I feel guilty for arguments and rows and things in the last few months.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh and magazine stuff, jaysus the edge, apparently my editor was "very annoyed" at my Usher and N*E*R*D reviews for some reason despite the fact that the guy has about as much knowledge of either, at 57 or so, as my Dad.

Apparently I should have lied and not given a stinker to the NERD record, just in the spirit of middlebrow or whatever. grrrr. I feel I am doomed to failure with that stupid rag, everytime I think I do well they're anxious to shove me out, I honestly feel a bit be-sieged.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sorry ronan.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

The job move to Maidenhead has gone even more badly than I expected. Not only do I have to deal with the commute, but whole company seems to have gone into flail mode since moving.

Also, I have to move out of my flat in six weeks and am getting very twitchy about finding somewhere else. All the nice places with reasonable rents which were vacant six weeks ago seemed to have been replaced with expensive dumps.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i *didn't* finish my essay. i might get a big fat fucking ZERO. and there goes 25% of my art crit mark for my final year.

― m. (mitchlnw), Friday, 16 April 2004 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Every time I think I am starting to (physically) feel better I end having a setback and getting frustrated. I feel like things are never going to improve and there's not much point in looking forward to anything anymore because I won't be able to enjoy it.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 16 April 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

It's fucking hot outside. I'm such a wuss. I've been freezing ever since we landed in Chicago and I just went to lunch, window rolled down, and felt like I was melting. What about spring?! My AC is messed up thanks to the break in, so it was sweltering in my car. Then there was loads of traffic and construction work. Then I managed to GET lost on my way back from the smoothie place so I was really late back to work from lunch. I HATE DRIVERS!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 16 April 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I have to pee.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 April 2004 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

(I'm much happier now.)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 April 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

You were peeing that whole time, weren't you?

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 16 April 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe.

― TooMuchCoffee Man (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 April 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

dunno : (

― cozen (Cozen), Monday, 3 May 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

i havent had sex for 6 months. i have no money. no job. i need a haircut. im not drunk. my goldfish just died. i dont even have a goldfish.

― ceramic tile specialist, Tuesday, 4 May 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Not really sad, but a bit melancholy and reflective (as I always get near my birthday).

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Everyone's fighting with me :-(

― penelope_111, Tuesday, 4 May 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

My mobile phone broke over the weekend. The girl I'm kind of seeing went on holiday for two weeks leaving me to think of ways to kind of break up with her when she gets back. Trousers were not dry this morning. Lots of annoying kids at the art gallery at lunchtime. Spent too much money over the weekend (just on essentials!) and now cannot afford a new computer (or anything). Too much to do at work.

My hair looks ace though.

― hmmm (hmmm), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

lack of karaoke partners near my home.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

ken c, you must try glasgow again soon! or preferably, just move here.

― Cathy (Cathy), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

[i]lack of karaoke partners near my home.[/i]

Not for long, beyatch!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Roxy is fierce!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Fiercely forgetful of html tags!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Homesickness. Sharing an office with a manic depressive (not really unhappy-making, but geez). Being the constant subject of irritating, nosy gossip at w3rk.

― Barima (Barima), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Just failing my driving test on the first attempt.

― Rob M (Rob M), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm working in the Special Ed. room at work and the kindergarten next door is practicing the Itsy Bitsy spider for the hundredth time this afternoon.

― The Second Drummer Drowned (Atila the Honeybun), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm happy that the problems I was having upthread exist no longer. I'm happy that they're all buried and dead, all the turmoil and drama from that particular period of time. I'm happy that I know just exactly why what happened, happened, and that I was actually truly able to let go of everything there.

However, I am unhappy that there are reams of other issues I've needed to work out and in spite of all the work I've done over the course of the past four months, I still feel like I have a great deal more to do. I'm also unhappy because I'm supposed to be thrilled about how certain things are working out in life and yet I'm not.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there a "why are you happy now?" thread?

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

There is, but you know ile...

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

'cos I fell face first on the pavement on Sunday morning and I look like a human brillo pad. Got a big ugly gash in the bridge of my nose. I'm on antibiotics and painkillers at the moment :(

― Michael B, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

because my life is exactly how I envisioned it would be when I was a child.

Unfortunately for me, it's how I DREADED it would be.

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

FUCKING LONDON

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there a "why are you happy now?" thread?
-- roxymuzak

There is, but you know ile...
-- El Diablo Robotico

ha ha, nicole cheers me up again

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

― hmmm (hmmm), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

-- uh (enochsnowj...), May 5th, 2004. (later)

Now I'm unhappy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish I were in fucking London. Fucking Knoxville! It's too dreary for words today.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

You should be more unhappy with your cd collection, Ned.

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Heartbreak followed by a huge plunge into the worst depression (meant in the medical sense) I've suffered in ages. I've not been to work in two days, I wasn't able to even get out of bed until the afternoon today, I've said idiotic things on various threads that have made other people feel worse and I feel terrible about these things, and I'm currently torn between thinking that I need to keep on here because it's a good distraction, and running away because - well, please understand that I know this is depression talking and is no reflection on anyone here, but I can't shake feelings like this when I'm in this state - because I feel that almost no one here really cares whether I'm here or not, and we'd all be better off if I didn't impose my presence on others, especially in person. If you don't see me for a while, you'll know which feeling won out - but I imagine if that happens I'll be back if/when I recover some.

This is not a plea for help or for people to say "No, we like you, really" or anything, it's an apology for my bad behaviour and an explanation if, as seems likely, I disappear.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

*good thoughts* Whatever you choose to do, keep well. And that is meant from the heart.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin, I think ILX does you gd, and that in a week or so you'll be leaving London for sunny Spain, that's a reason for happiness, find it where you can

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin I would miss your contributions. I'm already disappointed that you seldom if ever post on ILM; I understand that you don't think there is much of value over there, but I'm always interested in what you have to say. You're one of the precious few around here who writes with some degree of authority on all that great old R&B and soul music. I'm still very much looking forward to reading your long-threatened piece on Al Green's Bee-Gee's cover.

― Broheems (diamond), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't recall you saying any idiotic things Martin fwiw

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm currently torn between thinking that I need to keep on here because it's a good distraction, and running away because - well, please understand that I know this is depression talking and is no reflection on anyone here, but I can't shake feelings like this when I'm in this state - because I feel that almost no one here really cares whether I'm here or not, and we'd all be better off if I didn't impose my presence on others, especially in person. If you don't see me for a while, you'll know which feeling won out - but I imagine if that happens I'll be back if/when I recover some.

Martin, I was feeling this way about a week ago, so I sympathize and know (somewhat) where you're coming from. But please know that your presence here is very much appreciated, and ilx would lose a great deal if you weren't around.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah you only ever have nice things to say about other people here and that's valuable and appreciated for sure (i know you didn't ask for these compliments but you get them anyway)

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin has made my current unhappiness ("I appear to have accidentally killed Ally's Britney thread with an inappropriate Voltron invocation") seem even more trivial than I thought it was. Good thoughts and good wishes to you; I eagerly await your return to full-force posting.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

-broke
-still living at home
-job pays peanuts
-mind-numbing to boot
-struggle to get anything done when i get home
-family driving me up the wall
-sister really depressed
-missing certain people more than is good for me
-tired all the time
-eyesight getting worse the longer i put off getting new glasses
-2/3 of my stuff is still across the country
-the growing realization that what i want to do will never be able to support me financially
-romantic miasma
-no sex
-smoking too much
-eating poorly

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin, you're alright by me. Keep your head up.

The homesickness, loneliness/out of place-ness, recurring boredom etc has become harder to handle - I've spent more time on ILX today than usual because all of a sudden I really can't deal properly. Fact: I've not eaten properly all day.

I sought reassurance from Miss Kittin, who said:

I propose each English citizen should live once outside the island for at least 6 months! Everybody should live outside his own country once! It changes your point of view. Traveling is the key of many things.

I hope you're right, or I'll hate you forever, you evil cow.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i pierced my lip and it bled everywhere. now it is swollen and semi-infected. :(

― CAss (CAss), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Cause some photos I thought were still up aren't -- and I'm not surprised, but a period of my life that I adored is gone now, and not even archive.org can get it back.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

The main reason I haven't started a Ghana thread is because this place befuddles me more than I could probably put in words. It's still a learning experience of value tho'.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Because I just paid $130 to find out that I have a hole in my sewer pipe that will cost another $450 to repair. And I can't forget to mention the bucket of shit in my basement.

― Jen (nstop), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

EURGH.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry to hear about your problems, Martin. I've known quite a few suffering from depression. Those who never experience it truly don't understand how powerful it is.

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

my fly just busted and i am at work and have 8 hours to go and today of all days i chose to go...commando.

― mullygrubber (gaz), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

What did the Eastern Ukranian Roasted-Goat Humpers do to you, Neddie?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I had asked for fricassee.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I have severe chest pains and another 2,000 words to right. I can barely breathe properly at the moment. Anything resembling advice from you people?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

go to a doctor

― CAss (CAss), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

what causing the chest pains dom?

― mullygrubber (gaz), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

"right" should be "write." you're welcome.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I just feel like the upper half of my body is being compressed. Kinda like my shoulder is in a vice.

bnw- it's "right", because I'm proofing it.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

nice save dom, now go see doc

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

because i just exchanged cursory-and-uncomfortable pleasantries with one of my bosses at a horrible job i had years ago. and now i feel like shit.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

My future is uncertain
The girl I like is dating a jackass
Things at home aren't peachy, as always

― Cacaman Flores, Thursday, 6 May 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I would like to stop being alive, that's kind of unhappy isn't it?

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 6 May 2004 03:29 (twenty-one years ago)

whats up kate?

― mullygrubber (gaz), Thursday, 6 May 2004 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

my feet are cold. I'm jobless. I didn't go to two interviews in two days. I may have to go back to hospitality which i vowed never to do. I have no motivation. my parents are supporting me. i don't want to go to uni. i haven't been on stage in a couple of months and am terrified. my hands are cold. i've put on six kilos in six weeks. i miss my friend.

― Nellie (nellskies), Thursday, 6 May 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

martin, if you're still reading this mail me. or i will call you and make a trans-atlantic pest of myself. :)

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Thursday, 6 May 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

boring job, too much university work to do in not enough time, procrastination, lingering sense of underachievement, indecision...

Now, usually they don't bother me too much, but today they've all joined forces to make me feel quite down.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry to hear that, Jel. Hope you feel better soon.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Jel, think of it as transience. Could work for you (been here before too).

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a story that's beginning to get a little old, but it looks as though my dad will have to have another surgery.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Work today: I bore you with guns okay?

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

sinus headache

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not in love (it's just a phase that I'm going through).

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

oh whoa oh

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

because I have no money (actually negative zero) i have to work at least the next two nights (and prolly sat and sun). I don't even have time to go home after school.

i'm completely exhausted.

having one of those days where i feel no matter how much i care about these kids or how much it makes sense for me to stick with htis job a bit longer that i just can't no way.

some days i really feel like i cannot make it to the end of the day even. the body and mind, mine at least, can just not tolerate this much stress without . . .without something bad

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I honestly beleieve that I am more bored, empty and alone than anyone else here. But not necessarily more depressed.

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Sam, your blog is just amazing! I keep coming back.

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

thank you aaron, that put a smile on my face. :)

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a big bruise on my face, I look like I've been beaten :(
(I haven't)

― penelope_111, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Aaron, I challenge thee.

― Barima_Ned (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

What did happen, penelope?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

haha Barima, I know what I wrote is presumptuos and presposterous, but it is true.

I was sort of hoping someone would challenge me -- we could try to hash it out objectively -- but if anyone comes close I'd be shocked.

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll have some of that

― holojames (holojames), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Andrew, would you believe me if I said I walked into a door?

I did.

― penelope_111, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Aaron, I have my own thread at the mo, when it becomes too maudlin, you can drop by for an MC battle.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Really extremely, all of a sudden.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 18 May 2004 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

BECAUSE I AM FUCKING GOING BLIND

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

My job is shit, and has been shit for years, and for all that time it's been getting worse literally by the week. I can't get out because the job market is shit, and I'm too bogged down with part-time uni commitments to put enough time into looking.

― Always Winter Never Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I just split up with someone I think I really loved, but just couldn't deal with and now she's not answering the phoneand I hate myself.

I'm never going to be ahppy or even content and I know I'll kill myself eventually.

I'm too hot.

I feel utterly, utterly alone.

I wish I was a little baby again and someone could take care of me.

FUCK.

― mei (mei), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:16 (twenty-one years ago)

i think the last line's your solution there.

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:17 (twenty-one years ago)

mei, that sounds awful, i hope you are ok. Feel free to email me.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I just split up with someone I think I really loved, but just couldn't deal with and now she's not answering the phoneand I hate myself.
I'm never going to be ahppy or even content and I know I'll kill myself eventually.

I'm too hot.

I feel utterly, utterly alone.

I wish I was a little baby again and someone could take care of me.

FUCK.

-- mei (meirion.lewi...), May 19th, 2004 8:16 PM. (mei) (later)

Whoa, i think we're living parallel lives!

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)

why so callous Marcello?

Mei, we're all capable of looking after ourselves and don't need someone to do it and I hope you realise that and see it as a good thing. You don't know what will happen in the future though you can influence things. You don't know that you will never be happy. Either you'll become more okay with being alone (like so many others out there) or you'll think of ways you can perhaps not be alone anymore (make new friends and meet someone new). Suicide is such a terrible waste.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Stevem is otm about suicide!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:28 (twenty-one years ago)

don't try it

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:29 (twenty-one years ago)

eh?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:30 (twenty-one years ago)

why so callous Marcello?

Why so smutty, Dan? Why so grumpy, Jess? Why the woods, bear?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Not callous, just realistic. That post was me two years ago. If I survived it so can he.

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

(pinkpanther: as in 'don't try suicide')

Why so ILX, ILX?

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

i went to bed far too early.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(that was to answer the main question)

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

But at the time Marcello I'm sure you had your doubts as to whether you could survive it surely.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Realistic and callous don't have to be mutually exclusive, Marcello. Perhaps someone who's been there might try being understanding and sympathetic?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

and if someone had said to you 'you need to get laid' then would that have made you feel better?

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

It would have depended on how many times, and how long they lasted.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not going to kill my self yet, I'm just 90% sure that's how I'll die eventually.

I have lots of friends, but it doesn't help. I'm not alone but I still feel alone.

I can take care of myself, but I don't want to. But still I do. I feel like I alwys have to be the strong one and it's really really getting to me.

Maybe I will be happy, but I doubt it, it's like I can't allow good things to happen to myself.

Ack!

― mei (mei), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

It sometimes difficult to break out of a rut of emotions like that, but you just gotta try to learn how to & have faith that you can.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I would question what it is that fuels your desire to not be alone. Obv. most people don't want to be alone but as long as you really understand why that is maybe that will help you focus on why you are, and how you can stop being so. Same with happiness...thinking of it as if it's a location you have to travel to seems wrong, it's something that comes to you - perhaps you can persuade it to come over by immersing yourself more in the things you enjoy and that make you feel like you're doing something constructive/useful to help both yourself and others.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 09:46 (twenty-one years ago)

But at the time Marcello I'm sure you had your doubts as to whether you could survive it surely.

I still have my doubts, particularly in weeks which have been as bad as this one just gone by.

Comfort also breeds complacency, and if you've come out the other end it's sometimes a kneejerk reaction, more self defence than anything else, to roar at others in the same boat to row a bit harder, because you are fully aware that at the time you yourself were incapable of doing any rowing. So it's a mechanism to protect yourself from feeling or even acknowledging that manifestation of mortality.

But greater than that is the need, the urgency, for other people in the same boat to stay alive. It might seem the equivalent of cutting your arms off without anaesthetic, but ultimately it's the only way to continue, especially if you have old-fashioned socialistic notions of caring about what other people will think.

The number one thing that always stopped me from doing it:
not while my mother's still alive.

The number two thing that always stopped me from doing it:
schoolboy curiosity about What Exactly Would Happen Next. And what happened next turned out to be more than worth hanging around for, but what happened next only happened because of what I did. Mark S and Simon R alerted the Wire and Uncut of my existence but it was down to me to - aargh! crass conceit! - "sell myself." Writing to clear my mind and also stop it from becoming obfuscated by morbid thoughts of an unreachable past and an impossible future.

I was in no presentable state to be anyone's partner in 2002. I shut the door on the world in pure solipsistic self-defence until Mark S, Nathalie, etc., kept hammering on the door for so long and with such force that I put my hands up and said OK, OK...

Yes it took me two years to get where I am now. It seemed like 20. It seemed like a prison/death sentence. But I got there, mostly by overcoming the Catch 22 situation of feeling "I don't want to be alone" which in public always comes across as "I want to be alone." The state of mind makes you want to shut out humanity so you can hardly be surprised when, as a consequence, humanity shuts you out or, more often, just politely passes over you/walks over your self-constructed grave. At my worst I didn't/don't want to go out of the house - hide away with music as my untrustworthy shield against my concept of the world.

Comfort also doesn't preclude depression. I'm lucky enough to be with someone who - partly on a professional basis - understands the life of my mind perfectly and knows how to deal with me/make me shut up/make me live again.

Nonetheless I do not believe that you have it in you to commit suicide - I fundamentally don't, as Mark S damn well knows, so I'm quite good at reading the interiors of similar mindsets. You'll carry on, you'll feel pissed off, angry and depressed for the longest of times...but the change will happen. Eventually, like me, you'll effect it yourself out of sheer bloody impatience.

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 10:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks for your post Marcello, I hope you didn't take offence to my post as that was not the intention, more an interest.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I shut the door on the world in pure solipsistic self-defence until Mark S, Nathalie, etc., kept hammering on the door for so long and with such force that I put my hands up and said OK, OK...

look. i don't know you. you've been rude to me before, but whatever. i just think you should look at what you wrote here, and compare that to what you're saying to mei. if it took people 'hammering on your door' to help get you going, surely you can see that it would be more helpful to do the same thing to mei, rather than make snappy comments that devalue what he's feeling?

i don't know mei either, i'm not taking sides, i'm not saying you're a jerk. but if someone says 'i'm having a crap time of it and i don't know how to get out of it,' it seems pretty rude to just make jokes at his expense.

mei, i'm really sorry to hear that stuff in your life sucks. i'm sure that hearing comforting words from a bunch of strangers isn't that useful, but hopefully it makes you feel slightly better.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 10:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't believe I was making "jokes at his expense." It's the crassest of answers and an even crasser solution, but it was the same solution which was repeatedly suggested to me by various people at the time of my particular crisis, including psychotherapists. Like I said: "Comfort also breeds complacency..." So I am not unaware that I have to police myself as thoroughly and unsentimentally as I can. Often I fail. Often the knee will jerk regardless. Such are the failings of human beings. Such are my failings anyway.

But then I hold the passe belief that practical solutions - including, if necessary, the proverbial "bucket of cold water" - are preferable to "comforting words" which solve nothing. As Geldof said in 1985 apropos Live Aid: "Spare me your fucking tears - they're not going to solve anything."

(Neither, in the end, did Live Aid, but that's obviously another matter altogether)

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks Colette, it does. Just getting it off my chest helps.
Over the last few days, despite having a real bad time, I've found out that some people really care about me and that makes a huge difference.

I'm feeling far from my worst now, but I don't like the idea that I might feel my worst again, and _maybe_ there's nothing I can do about it.
Thinking like this is why I had to get out my last relationship. I think we had too much in common but expressed it in different ways.

― mei (mei), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 10:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Well that's good to hear.

You just have to make sure that the word "maybe" doesn't disappear from that sentence of yours.

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 10:23 (twenty-one years ago)

hmmm, why am i unhappy today? i dunno, definitely am a wee bit D-ed up this morning.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

fwiw I am relatively happy right now and this affects my views and the way I interact with people who declare themselves deeply unhappy.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 10:53 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

I'm unemployed, living in one of the richest counties in the UK; am trained and qualified to the hilt (as cameraperson), but unable to find work in the industry. Actually, can't find ANY job that will allow me to plan for the future. Whatsmore, the government is telling everyone there are more jobs than ever, so I feel like a total loser.

― Grasper Collins, Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

[i]lack of karaoke partners near my home.[/i]
Not for long, beyatch!
-- roxymuzak (roxymuza...), May 4th, 2004 2:52 PM. (roxymuzak)

This still hasn't happened!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

I just failed one of my finals which potentially hinders my graduating this summer.

― Slumpman (Slump Man), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

Two of my best friends are looking like they are going to split up

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

because bosses don't seem to realize that applicants don't just go on interviews for their own amusement. MAKE A DECISION ALREADY! and if you don't think i'm the right candidate, stop wasting my time and tell me so.

― The Pinup Girls of YANK (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

1. It's gorgeous outside and I'm stuck at work
2. This pizza is assy

― Je4nne ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

I wish I knew.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

a) because I was such a big pussy in Canada for worrying about my passport, hopefully not bringing everybody else's fun down too much, but at the very least causing me to bail out on the late night sessions a couple of days, possible keeping me from having a drink and a chat with Mr. Anthony Braxton.

b) because I seem to be getting clumsier as I get older. I used to be confident in my movements, and now I'm just a bull in a china shop. Last night I tried to make a roast beef sandwich and practically threw horseradish all over the goddamn kitchen.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 17:26 (twenty years ago)

I got a virus on my mom's computer, and I can't get it off. She hates me for it.

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 31 May 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

I had a conversation this morning with a friend of mine from back home in which she told me something her husband had said about me that was ... unflattering, at best, and then followed it up with "I'm only saying this because I love you" and I thought yeah, fuck you too, pal, except now I'm sort of sad and have that empty feeling in my heart.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

Walking-around bronchitis (getting meds tomorrow).

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

Cracked rib. Getting better, still painful. And the elastic brace helps my rib, but hurts my back somethin' awful. I can't win.

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 18:00 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and coughing or sneezing FUCKING SUCK LIKE NOTHING HAS EVER SUCKED.

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 18:01 (twenty years ago)

I have a job I thought I'd love, but within 2 weeks of starting it the company fired five people and made it clear theyre not doing well financially - they're now leaning on the rest of us to do stuff we werent really hired to do. I'm in way over my head being expected to basically be a network engineer, which I just dont know how to do, and work shifts which I dont WANT to do at all. On top of this I work with my best friend, and working with him is a strain cos we're together too much and he's getting on my nerves making me feel guilty - him saying the jobs fine and easy and he copes with the hours makes me feel like some loser who can't handle a normal job :(

I want to quit already but I feel obliged to stay, and the stress is killing me right now. Bleh :(

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 08:35 (twenty years ago)

Oh Trayce, that sounds awful. Are you looking for an alternative job?

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 08:42 (twenty years ago)

Not at the moment, tho it has idly crossed my mind. I feel like I should stick it out a while at least, maybe it is first run nerves and I will settle in, but I wont do so without.. well, not a fight exactly, but with some serious wrangling to try and twist into a more admin, daytime role. Sure, some people seem to handle 14 hour days or being on call all weekend nutting out server problems but thats just not me, you know? And I hate that I feel like a slacker not wanting that kind of job. I just wanna sit at a desk, be given work that I can sit and do as it needs doing and not have to panic and think on my feet with some technician on the phone standing on a roof adjusting a satellite dish yelling at me cos I cant work out its reception in 5 seconds flat because I'm new and "dont know what I'm doing", gah.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 08:47 (twenty years ago)

Logically I know it isnt my fault - I havent had enough training on the specifics of this tech yet (satellite tech is VERY different from terrestrial internet, I'm realising), but yikes.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 08:48 (twenty years ago)

it definitely isn't your fault if they are expecting you to do a job that you haven't trained for or indeed accepted intitially. Just try to remain calm & see how things pan out for a while.
If it's any consolation, I started a job where 5 months later they made a load of redundancies & indeed went into receivership. I am still here 7 (argh!) years later, so there is always hope that the company will recover.

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 08:56 (twenty years ago)

Still unemployed, applying for about 5 jobs a day and not even getting nibbles at the moment. I have one month's rent left in my bank account (and I will owe two months by the time that my housemate comes back from his honeymoon) and no prospects of getting any more money.

And am I getting any kind of support or commisseration over this? No! I'm getting my mum ringing me twice a week HASSLING me, going "Have you found a job yet?" and being snarky at me and saying all "Oh well, it's your life if you want to waste it" etc. Which makes me want to put my head in an oven.

I'm feeling quite burned out after the excitement of the past week. And more than a little lonely. All I would really like right now is for someone to put their arms around me and tell me everything is going to be alright.

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

you came to the right message board!

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 1 June 2005 10:34 (twenty years ago)

With the exception of the "someone to put their arms around me" bit.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

What did YOU do?

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

What did YOU do?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 2 June 2005 05:21 (twenty years ago)

I'm getting my mum ringing me twice a week HASSLING me, going "Have you found a job yet?"

do all parents do this or is it just ours? i'm glad my folks are on holiday in bucharest right now or the phone calls would never stop.

― The Pinup Girls of YANK (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 2 June 2005 05:25 (twenty years ago)

(i also just wanted a hug.)

― The Pinup Girls of YANK (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 2 June 2005 05:27 (twenty years ago)

Why am i sad:

1) it's almost 3am and i ain't in bed yet, dammit
2) ain't got no girl

Well, good night. 1 problem solved. Yay!

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Thursday, 2 June 2005 05:32 (twenty years ago)

I'm stuck on a building site (they call it a University but...) in China for three more burleedin' weeks and two more ferkin' days. And I have nothing whatsoever to read.

― Gatinha (rwillmsen), Thursday, 2 June 2005 05:33 (twenty years ago)

I'm sorry to hear that Kate. I've been in a similar situation; worrying about whether you can pay the rent and whether you can afford to eat anything except porridge is the shittiest. I mean, shelter and material well-being and stuff like that are the most basic human needs, and if even those become unsure, it leaves you with having this constant feeling of coldness in your stomach. I give you my sympathies, and my virtual hugs.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 2 June 2005 07:50 (twenty years ago)

Aww kate, that's pretty rough. I hope things turnaround soon. *virtual hugs on their way*

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 2 June 2005 08:03 (twenty years ago)

She just has to keep on applying for jobs and, when she gets one, not throw a temper tantrum whenever her manager asks her to do/show them how to do something. However stupid she might find them/the request, they're still the ones with the money. I have to deal with idiots on a several-times-daily basis in my day job, but I just grit my teeth, count to ten and deal with them in a civil manner. It can get a bit drip-drip-Chinese water torture on occasion, but then I remember that at the end of every month there'll be another nice little pile of spondoolicks in the bank account to finance both the Necessary and Good Things in Life, so figure that it's best to stay and get paid as a reward for putting up with it.

Then again I think going back to full-time education, as she mentioned on another thread, might not be a bad idea in itself - it might get Kate out of her current loop before it ends up strangling her.

Despite the bad water which has flowed between us over the last year or so I fundamentally do like Kate a lot and I want her to feel happy, fulfilled and proud of herself. The walks and the band are good things for her to be doing; now she just needs to find the work situation which is right for her and that will complete the equation.

So *hugs* and apologies from me for being such a grouchy misanthropic vampire. I'm trying my best...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 2 June 2005 09:31 (twenty years ago)

my job, nuff said!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 2 June 2005 12:07 (twenty years ago)

"Despite the bad water which has flowed between us over the last year or so I fundamentally do like Kate a lot and I want her to feel happy, fulfilled and proud of herself. The walks and the band are good things for her to be doing; now she just needs to find the work situation which is right for her and that will complete the equation."

You are a condescending twerp.

― Norway Jan, Thursday, 2 June 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

Care to tell me why I'm wrong instead of calling me names?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 2 June 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

Thanks for the hugs, and hugs back to you, Jody, Tuomas and Pink.

I've had a nibble at least, this afternoon. They sent me a job spec, and it looks just like the last 3 jobs I've had. I could do it with one frontal lobe tied behind my back, but it really comes down to the corporate culture of the place. So we shall see.

Yesterday, I had recurrant thoughts of suicide while jogging, because I honestly couldn't think of anything else to do if my financial situation continued to be so hopeless. But then I went over to some friend's house and had a couple of good chats, went to see one of them do a really amazing show, and then another friend messaged me saying "Wheeee, I'm drinking beer in Paris" which made me go all "Aw!!! Paris! That's something to stay alive for - I couldn't stand the idea of never seeing Paris again." and I just wanted to hug him for making me feel glad to be alive.

So I just have to remember that most things are actually really good, despite the job situation. I can't change my family, but I do have some amazing friends, I just have to not let the twerps get me down.

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Thursday, 2 June 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

Because I just watched a documentary about autism - and it's made me paranoid that I might suffer from it.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Thursday, 2 June 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

Because now I know the truth about Hot Carl.

― Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Thursday, 2 June 2005 22:53 (twenty years ago)

Because all I wanted was a Pepsi! Just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me! Just one Pepsi!

― Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Thursday, 2 June 2005 22:54 (twenty years ago)

More realistically, I don't have anyone to snuggle, and now I really won't have anyone to snuggle after those last two posts of mine!

― Ian Riese-Moraine's all but an ark-lark! (Eastern Mantra), Thursday, 2 June 2005 22:55 (twenty years ago)

Sinusitis

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 2 June 2005 22:56 (twenty years ago)

I tinted my cellphone in Dipset colors (purple, metallic hot pink) in a painstaking application process involving rubbing alcohol, a red Sharpie + felt, and glitter.

I got three ecstatic responses yesterday but today one of my friends told me it looked 'queer' and I realized that I've known this kid since high school and nothing I ever do is going to make him 'get it' and we've grown apart so far I don't even know why I hang out with him anymore.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Thursday, 2 June 2005 23:48 (twenty years ago)

why did you want to go and do that to your phone?

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Friday, 3 June 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

It was the Coq

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 3 June 2005 03:06 (twenty years ago)

see it's like this:

you try to be nice to people, make up to people and do the right thing and you get called a twerp.

kate i've tried and i've tried and i've tried with you but no more. you've got this brick wall like geir with his "melodic." no one can get through to reach you. there's no talking to you. the ego wave is drowning you and you can't see it. the ego has taken you over. i don't think you want "hugs" or "commisserations" or "support," i think you just want your arse licked, to be told you're great 20 times a day, to boost your ego. all this bullshit about "Respect" and "Trust." you just want people to agree with your point of view, and because no one can see from your point of view other than you, you go off on one whenever someone tells you different.

of course i feel guilty about going off on you on these boards. i've done it too many times. but at least i recognise my weaknesses. i get arrogant sometimes and think i know everything. at least i try to make up if i upset people. ok, i'm a fuck-up. hands up, white flag. but suicide? you think you're too good for this world? maybe you just want people to feel sorry for you. and i feel sorry for you, but not in that way. you'll never kill yourself, you haven't got the guts.

but you're past helping. when the ego takes a stranglehold, this is what happens with people. you can't reason with them anymore, they've lost the ability to communicate with others.

and look at the last thing you posted here. still trying to put the blame on "the corporate culture of the place." everybody's fault except mine, same as usual with you. you're right and the world is wrong. you want to know why you get fired from jobs? why you lose boyfriends? why you're depressed? it's because of what you're doing right now, because of this fucking attitude and ego that you hang on to like an old hyperdermic syringe or a security blanket. but when the ego peaks, there's nowhere to go except down. you need to take serious stock of your life. look up COMPROMISE and HUMILITY in the dictionary. go out and fucking grit your teeth and earn a crust like the rest of us have to do. the world doesn't owe you a fucking living.

yeah i'm probably going to regret posting this about one nanosecond after i've posted this, but fuck it, it had to be said.

i'm now going to shut up and i'm not going to say another word to kate, either on or off these boards. i'm leaving you alone now. have a nice life. bye.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 08:16 (twenty years ago)

I’ve got a hangover and my head hurts and I’m in work and I’m bored and I want my bed. That’s why!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 3 June 2005 09:38 (twenty years ago)

Learn COMPROMISE and HUMILITY and HOW TO LEAD A HAPPY LIFE from a veritable master of compromise, humility and happy sweetness and light, the one and only MARCELLO CARLIN, PhD, author of MEN ARE FROM MARS, MARCELLOS ARE FROM THE OUTER REACHES OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE

― jeremy beadle and the damage done, Friday, 3 June 2005 10:02 (twenty years ago)

My sins against humanity are as nought compared to those of Jeremy Beadle!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 3 June 2005 10:05 (twenty years ago)

i lost my weekends overtime, and now i want to go out and drink and take drugs, but im not sure where to go, or who is about. i didnt think my weekends work would disappear!

― charltonlido (gareth), Friday, 3 June 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

no money, as usual. shop is v v quiet.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 3 June 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

This kind of weather gives me headaches. This makes me unhappy.

― Alix with an I ? (alix), Friday, 3 June 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

Glad to hear it was a fleeting thought Kate, please steer well clear of that route.
Marcello - that was a bit harsh, but hey, if that's what you wanted to say then fine I suppose, I just don't necessarily think it's helpful.

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Friday, 3 June 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

This kind of weather gives me bad hair. Also, I am just sad.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 3 June 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

Apparently no one wants to employ me. At all. I'm running out of money rapidly. And am starting to loathe my thesis, for which I have a big deadline on Monday.

― sgs (sgs), Friday, 3 June 2005 13:56 (twenty years ago)

Is there a reason Madchen or are you just feeling down?

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Friday, 3 June 2005 13:56 (twenty years ago)

Pink, there was a big fat self-deprecating double entendre in that there post :)

SGS, you can be my minion anytime.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 3 June 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

I've just been handed the task of dealing with our most unreasonable and widely-disliked client on the basis that it's chiefly Mandarin/Cantonese/Japanese TO English and I'm the only native English speaker in the department. Oh right, that makes sense. The demands of this role have driven the last two people to have responsibility for it out of the company and my own obvious escape route has started to look deeply unobvious in the last few weeks.

Work, eh?

― M1chael J0nes (MichaelJ), Friday, 3 June 2005 14:08 (twenty years ago)

ripped a hole in one of my tires by rubbing up a piece of rebar inexplicably stuck in my driveway. it's all good, though, cause I was HIIIII when it happened and didn't seem so bad. i needed new tires anyway. so i guess i'm not "unhappy" per se but changing tires is abitchface.

― sugarpants: baby's face on football! (sugarpants), Friday, 3 June 2005 14:30 (twenty years ago)

they didn't have hot and spicy chicken thighs at the sainsbury's hot counter today, only chinese style chicken thighs :(

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 June 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

Pink, there was a big fat self-deprecating double entendre in that there post :)

Ah I'll shut up then!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Friday, 3 June 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

thanks Madchen :) If only you were in London...

― sgs (sgs), Friday, 3 June 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

I moved last week. being alone (which I am now) bums me out to begin with and this new place, a basement apt, is right next to the subway tunnel. every 2 or 3 minutes my shitty little basement bachelor apt will shake and rumble for a few seconds.

I also could not fit my couch into the new place. no big deal to a normal person, but next to my penis that couch was my most favouritest thing ever. It was my secret cure for insomnia and was the style basis for every furniture item/nic-nak I've bought since.

I also think there my be mice. So I guess I might not be on my own afterall!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 3 June 2005 15:07 (twenty years ago)

hugs to Madchen, feel better lady

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 3 June 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

Sore throat. Fever. Must spend all day Saturday in class and all day Sunday moving shit out of one apartment and into another. Blech.

― quincie, Friday, 3 June 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

i wonder what thermo does with that couch next to his penis

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 June 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

Well they're separated now :(

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 3 June 2005 16:05 (twenty years ago)

Throbbing headache, sweating profusely, spending too much of my time thinking about all of the stupid things I've done, making up others (I went back and looked and I don't think I ever offered someone around here a virtual drink but I know I have to others...I think...and I guess it's dumb). I was just thinking about the things I've spent lots of time considering and how I've had the questions I wanted answered answered well enough for my purposes, and how there doesn't seem to be much point in thinking anymore. This is making me terribly unhappy. It would be so much easier if I could just be cool with things.

― Bryan (Bryan), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:36 (twenty years ago)

cause i'm at the stage of drunkenness to be bitterish rather than sloppy happy and cause i don't have a job and cause i can't sleep and cause i can't hit a curveball

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:42 (twenty years ago)

Bryan, ::hugs::

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:46 (twenty years ago)

I don't think I could've sounded more confused there. Thank you, Sam.

― Bryan (Bryan), Saturday, 4 June 2005 02:52 (twenty years ago)

Because right now I fear I may be falling in love with someone who cannot or will not reciprocate.

It's an easy thing to focus on, rather than my more pressing problems.

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:43 (twenty years ago)

Oh, Kate, I do that all the bloody time.

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 4 June 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

Why can't I just be happy with what we've got? Why do I want more than either of us are capable of? Why does he have to be so great and nic? This would be easy if he was an asshole. :-(

(breaking all the rules on the "nice guys" thread.)

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Saturday, 4 June 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

Because I got turned down for *another* job. Sigh.

And there's some other emotional stuff going around in my head, but it's complicated and private. I just need a good angsty moan. And a hug.

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

let's hug on thursday, kate

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

OK, deal. :-)

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

Oh Kate! I hope you are OK hun! *bighugs* You know where I am if you need a moan/an ear/a laugh/a cry/a pint/a slap/a kitten cuddle etc!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

Because it’s gorgeous outside and I’m in work. Gonna be working late as well as I’m building flexi for Glastonbury.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

What not-goodwin said. Because my friends are sitting out in a beer garden enjoying the summer's evening and I am sitting here with a pile of work. Because I will be doing the same tomorrow while everyone is at Poptimism. Because I'm permanently stressed. Because I am getting hardly any sleep. Because everything else in my life is great and yet I am somehow too busy, too tired or too frazzled to appreciate it. Because I've realised I'm stuck like this for the forseeable future.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 18:36 (twenty years ago)

Aww, Matt! And there was I thinking I'd brightened your day by randomly bumping into you at lunchtime. You looked really well, if that's any consolation.

― marianna lcl (marianna lcl), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:50 (twenty years ago)

I'm lonely, I'm tired, and I don't want to go home to no one again tonight.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

Job.

― RS (Catalino) LaRue (RSLaRue), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

stupid little stuff...i fought with my mom today, it's going to be too dark/hot/soon ater dinner to run at my usual 8:00 time, people who said they'd call me back have neither done that nor responded to my calls reminding them to...and there are more plans i'm responsible for making tonight, but i don't want to, i want someone else to take control so it's not my fault if they don't go pefectly.

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 22:15 (twenty years ago)

just sort of a general, oppressive loneliness lately. i need a girlfriend!

― ryan (ryan), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

Girlfriend wil not make you happy.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

ha!

― ryan (ryan), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 23:16 (twenty years ago)

i have a 4 hour 'off-site' meeting (the worst kind) this afternoon in the Worst Pub In England

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 9 June 2005 07:01 (twenty years ago)

there was too much tofu in my miso soup at lunchtime

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 9 June 2005 07:02 (twenty years ago)

I've worked 12 hour days every day except this past Sunday for the past two weeks. no OT or payment for the extra days either, because in the jobs I work, we get fucked over royally (unless some possible union thing helps us out...)

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 9 June 2005 07:19 (twenty years ago)

how come there's no corresponding 'why are you happy now?' thread?

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 9 June 2005 07:25 (twenty years ago)

there is but nobody posts to it, apart from me.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 9 June 2005 07:30 (twenty years ago)

i would post to it too. maybe i'll post in this one just to be contrary. i have finished one lot of work (out of my 16 hour day)! only 5 hours of my other job and 7 hours till i can get to bed now. this is cheering me up no end right now!! also i got heaps of stuff done today.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 9 June 2005 07:32 (twenty years ago)

Awww, Matt, I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I could tell you to just come out on Thursday anyway, and enjoy yourself, but that's probably not constructive.

I'm unhappy because of the job situation and the money situation. And I'm feeling jerked about by agencies who keep dangling jobs in my face but I don't ever get them.

And I still just want a hug. (Actually, I had a hug, and a good moan with one of my bestest friends last night, which was good, on the stamping feet and complaining "where are the boys for *us*?" when another set of our friends get married front. So I guess I'm slightly less unhappy.)

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Thursday, 9 June 2005 09:56 (twenty years ago)

Because I have a health check this afternoon during which somebody will MEASURE MY BODYFAT.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 9 June 2005 10:01 (twenty years ago)

I knew it. I eat healthily and have lots of fruit and veg, I don't drink too much, I don't smoke, I am neither overweight nor underweight, my cholesterol is fine, my hip/weight ratio is "desirable" and yet he attaches electrodes to my foot and hand and the result comes back: FAT.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 9 June 2005 12:51 (twenty years ago)

because I just saw the "quality of erections" graph Amon posted on the "Wait til you see my..." thread. double sigh

― Will(iam), Thursday, 9 June 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

age ain't nothing but a number, etc...
But when ur dick's old, you, my friend, are OLD.
http://www.maleshs.com/images/erection-chart.gif

― Will(iam), Thursday, 9 June 2005 13:50 (twenty years ago)

Oh no! What are you doing posting that here? I didn't need to see that!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

There are no units on the y-axis. It could be a decline from 1.0 to 0.98.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:05 (twenty years ago)

There's no labelling on the y-axis! 65 could be "steel pipe" and 20 could be "girder" for all you know!

xpost

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

i hope the peak isn't 1.0

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

I'm glad I have images turned off, I don't know what that is Will but I is pretty sure it will depress me.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

It makes me happy that Tom and I pounced on the same thing.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

So it doesn't represent angle then?

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v384/lucyald/chart.gif

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:13 (twenty years ago)

That's unfair, even if the y-axis stayed steady we'd be onto a loser!

Y-axis = #of smiley faces, obv.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

That's unfair, even if the y-axis stayed steady we'd be onto a loser!

Obviously, I don't mean 'we', I mean 'you'.

And I dont mean 'you', I mean 'your ma'.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

Visions.

I'm not unhappy right this second but I am in a situation where my future at work is out of my hands (due to decisions on the budget -- I wouldn't be fired or anything, it's just that it's not clear if a long overdue reclass/raise is going to happen). I don't like the uncertainty and I won't have an answer for a few weeks yet. There are other things too but that's more private.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

My wife's mood crashed a few days ago, so I'm trying to take care of her as well as get some work done.

I'm in a slough of self-pity re: ILX — I feel like I'm too old and square to hang around here.

On the other hand, the quality of my erections are fine.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:23 (twenty years ago)

too many reasons.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:23 (twenty years ago)

I'm in a slough of self-pity re: ILX — I feel like I'm too old and square to hang around here.

None of that. Yer a most welcome personage. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

We care not if you are either old or square. The quality erections are what we're after here.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

I'm pissed off because A CERTAIN PERSON has started posting to the BB thread so I can't bring myself to read it anymore and I'm pissed off because I thought it was a corner of the board that was safe from him.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

Also, Rock, you rock hard. Don't feel old and square. Or, you know, do, but don't feel excluded on that basis.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

Aw, Rock, I think it's awesome that you post here! Seriously!

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

i'm feeling a bit unhappy about the fact that i bought a lot of 11 koosh balls on ebay just to be funny and now i have to pay $15 for them

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

correction: $18.14 - this lady has me by the balls! LITERALLY!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

Oh my aching grammar. The quality IS fine, not ARE fine.

Ned, Thermo, Accentmonkey, JMC — thanks all.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

my girlfriend is on the other side of the world.

― cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 9 June 2005 18:07 (twenty years ago)

Hey, me too! It sucks!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 9 June 2005 18:33 (twenty years ago)

Because I don't like feeling like a bimbo.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

Great. I've just broken my cd burner. Fuck my stupid temper I SMASH IT!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

because i'd rather be drunk than be at work.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 9 June 2005 19:24 (twenty years ago)

my girlfriend is on her way to the other side of the world. for a month.

― jermaine (jnoble), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

I am teh suck.

― Negativa, True Believer (Sheryl Crow in a Britney costume) (Barima), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 19:31 (twenty years ago)

i feel like i'm falling in love with someone that there's no possibility of ever having a relationship with.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

because i get frustrated so easily trying to do things.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

1. my life is meaningless
2. i'm basically unemployable
3. i'm not good at anything
4. i'm not really bad at anything, either
5. i bother responding to threads like this

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 22:22 (twenty years ago)

1. Things are going bad.
2. They'll probably get worse.
3. I might be going to jail.
4. Someone phoned my MUM and told her all this.
5. Now my MUM won't stop phoning ME.

But I have to admit I still feel reasonably jolly.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 22:31 (twenty years ago)

1. Depression getting worse
2. Unable to get job
3. Am frequently a dick to people that (used to) care about me
4. Repeat the same mistakes ad nauseam
5. Will prolly be living alone soon

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 22:36 (twenty years ago)

Cause I'm back from China. Other than that, wish I knew. Always been this way.

― Aramyr, Tuesday, 14 June 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

I'm not unhappy now. I'm a combination of nervous and excited and a bit stressed because I'm up for consideration for a job that seems *too* good to be true. Again.

OK, wait, I'm unhappy because I'm still really, really broke. Though if I get this job, I won't be.

― The Square Root Of Negative Two (kate), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

Woah, EK, jail?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 17:39 (twenty years ago)

Huh, EK - sure do hope you can avoid that.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

I have been hesitating over mentioning this since I heard yesterday, but I guess I will. An old friend was the victim of a hit-and-run. Massive brain injuries. They've operated once, but the statements I've heard from the doctors (all secondhand, through another friend who used to live with him, and has remained very good friends since they split) are along the lines of 'we've done all we can - and it won't be enough' and 'don't even hope for a miracle, it won't happen'. The thing that is particularly hurting is that, unique among all my old friends, he is a parent. His daughter has a blog, and no teenage daughter should ever find herself writing things along the lines of 'in effect he's already dead', or having to face maybe weeks of waiting for him to die, despite the life support. Reading her entry today (I didn't make it to work) broke my heart and had me in tears. He hasn't been one of my very best and closest friends, but we've been pretty good friends for over ten years, maybe fifteen, and this is tearing me up. Maybe I've been lucky to get to 46 without losing anyone of my generation, but that's not any consolation just now.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

I'm sorry Martin.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Wednesday, 15 June 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

Because a woman I can’t stand & who pretends to know everything is sitting next to me & keeps asking me what to do. She’s also one of those people who says "I’m just gonna type this, I’m just going to the copier", like I care!

Also she’s just said "I don’t mind staying til after six"

FFS!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 16 June 2005 08:33 (twenty years ago)

God Martin, how awful. My thoughts are with you and your friend and his family despite the dubious usefulness of that. xx

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 June 2005 08:36 (twenty years ago)

I'm really sorry Martin, that is awful.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 16 June 2005 08:38 (twenty years ago)

A dear dear dear friend of ours just lost his mother to cancer. She fought for 12 yrs but cancer won the battle. She was only 59 yrs old. I hate cancer. I hate it.

― nathalie's post modern sleaze fest (stevie nixed), Thursday, 16 June 2005 09:16 (twenty years ago)

cancer sucks :(

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 16 June 2005 09:24 (twenty years ago)

indeed.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 16 June 2005 09:27 (twenty years ago)

This is the second funeral in about two months time. Another friend's dad died of brain cancer. It spread out and he died... Why do they have to die so young? In so much pain? :-(((((((((((((((((((

― nathalie's post modern sleaze fest (stevie nixed), Thursday, 16 June 2005 10:27 (twenty years ago)

sometimes four years feels like four centuries. at other times it feels like four seconds.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 16 June 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

sorry to hear about all the troubles on this thread. It certainly puts any silly "I am unhappy as I'm skint" kind of post that I was going to add. Cancer does indeed suck. Had a very close brush with it last year, fortunately, my mum has made a full recovery. That's why i am taking part in this year's "Race for Life". it's all I can do as I don't have an endless amount of money to donate myself.

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 16 June 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

The thought is too much to bear most of the time. Working for the NHS for 16 years, you think you've acquired at least a reasonable amount of knowledge about diseases, conditions and treatments, even as a layman - and then you're powerless to save the person you most want to save above everyone else. Can you imagine how that makes me feel? That's why I wanted to get out of the NHS and maybe start writing about music as a career - to have to come back and face this damned reality on a daily basis. Financially it's probably just as well that I stuck with the NHS. At least I'm not working in a cancer unit or cancer hospital; that would be too much (at the time L died I was working at the Royal Marsden - you can imagine what a joy it was to come back to that place day after day - thankfully I managed to find another job pretty quickly).

However, I'm very glad to hear that your mum came through it, PP.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 16 June 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

A friend of ours worked as a psychologist in the cancer unit. He once had a patient lift up her t-shirt to show her amputated breast! Cancer freaks me out. It really does. Marcello, I know how hard it is. I don't know how much pain and sorrow you go through of course, but you're often in my thoughts. Especially in days like these. What do you say to someone who lost his partner or mother? :-(

― nathalie's post modern sleaze fest (stevie nixed), Thursday, 16 June 2005 11:08 (twenty years ago)

In the case of Laura's family, it was: in a taxi, back home to the flat on my own an hour after she died, that's it, fuck off pal, we'll be round to collect her stuff tomorrow like bailiffs.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 16 June 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

It was exactly like: right, he's not our problem any more.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 16 June 2005 11:30 (twenty years ago)

Cheers M. *hugs*

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 16 June 2005 11:55 (twenty years ago)

God, that's horrible Martin. My best wishes are with you, and your friend's family.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 16 June 2005 12:08 (twenty years ago)

i'm really sorry about your friend, martin. and for his family.

a friend of a friend recently tried committing suicide by swallowing a bunch of this photography developer fluid that graffiti writers use. he lived, but damn. i don't even know the guy but it bums me out big-time to hear about it.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 16 June 2005 21:49 (twenty years ago)

Martin I am so sorry. I am here if you need to talk, by email or AIM.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 17 June 2005 02:11 (twenty years ago)

two weeks pass...

All the f*cking Olympics hype and talk and everything is making me very genuinely unhappy.

And to make matters worse, everyone is treating that unhappiness like some kind of a joke.

Yeah, I know it should be just some minor irritation but it's acting as a focus right now for things that I can't risk being unhappy about.

― MIS Information (kate), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

I look and feel like this today:
http://www.blessedquietness.com/jabba.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

I've been here two weeks and I STILL don't have any access to the database that I'm supposed to be administering. The old database remains completed fuX0red.

― MIS Information (kate), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

Sarah, you're also pregnant? ;-) That's how I feel (only with bigger tits, if you can imagine that). :-)Actually I can't see his breasts. So uh, gigantic tits. I had to go buy a new bra. First of all I had to go in every goddamn shop until I had to take the last resort: a cringe-inducing mall-type of store. I found what I was looking for but then realized I had to pay 155 euros for TWO BRAS! About 110 pounds.

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 13:57 (nineteen years ago)

I'm unhappy that I've upset Kate, over something I didn't realise was that important. Sorry Kate.

― RickyT (RickyT), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 13:58 (nineteen years ago)

About 110 pounds

...

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

Thanks for the apology, Rick.

I wish there were some kind of emoticon on ILX whereby you could say "OK, I'm not being funny I'm serious" amidst the slap and tickle of general ILX silliness.

I need to take a step back and realise that I'm pissed off over work stuff, and not let it seep out into other things.

― MIS Information (kate), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

I really have no idea what to do with myself after my breakup--sometimes I feel that I can't face doing anything other than getting up, going to work, and going to bed again. It feels like for some reason I can't enjoy anything anymore because if I do then I've given in, and accepted that it's all over, and I'm still not ready to do that yet.

Every so often I think about something other than the exact moment in time, and I feel nothing but sadness. Nothing but sadness for the past that's gone, and nothing but sadness for the future that won't be anymore.

I also feel bad for feeling bad about this, for feeling bad in spite of the fact that my problems are absolutely insignificant compared to a lot of people's, especially on this thread, my heart goes out to you all.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

110 pounds sterling/155 euros. :-)

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

Because nothing changes.

― BARMS, Wednesday, 6 July 2005 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

It's just this thing.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

I am unhappy because my last relationship fucked me up severely and it's been three goddamn years and I can't get unfucked up about it. (we dated on and off for a couple years, very seriously for one year, and then she dumped me and got engaged to someone eight weeks later and moved to Spain with him. Yes they're still married, no we don't speak. All told some three-plus years mixed up with, and it took up the last third of my twenties, ages 27-30.)

― punkasspunk (shookout), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 23:27 (nineteen years ago)

Because I'm feeling intensely socially isolated right now, and feel like I've just been "dumped" by another friend I spent tons of time and effort trying to make things nice with and to top it all off, I've got PMS. :-(

― MIS Information (kate), Thursday, 7 July 2005 06:45 (nineteen years ago)

yargle bleeeuuurrrgggggglle arggggg argggggggg gah gah feck arse feck arse feck arse I feel like biting people.

― MIS Information (kate), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:39 (nineteen years ago)

Worked a 16 hour day yesterday, 3 hours sleep, back at work at 8am :(((((((

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:42 (nineteen years ago)

I don't have any money to get drunk, and I'm bored shitless sober.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Thursday, 7 July 2005 10:03 (nineteen years ago)

Explosion at Liverpool Street

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 7 July 2005 10:06 (nineteen years ago)

three months pass...

it's my nature

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 04:08 (nineteen years ago)

exams. exams exams exams exams.

― gem (trisk), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 04:46 (nineteen years ago)

five months pass...

fashion sucks. reality shows, iPods, razrs, and all techie fashion that gets people caught up in spending to be happy and trying to impress others.

no control. not having work because getting a computer job nowadays is so hard. worked my ass off in computer engineering school (3.9 gpa).

― skurfer, Tuesday, 25 April 2006 09:02 (nineteen years ago)

just one thing right now: unattainable love

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 09:15 (nineteen years ago)

lonely

― ryan (ryan), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

horny.

― electro-acoustic lycanthrope (orion), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

bored

― Zora (Zora), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 16:00 (nineteen years ago)

not enough sleep, never enough sleep

― even cathy berberian's nose (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

Lonely
Bored
Isolated from any art/culture that doesn't come through a broadband pipe
Isolated from interesting food and drink
Being pressured into a move I don't want to make

― pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

i have to pack up all my stuff and also i have to figure out what's gonna get sold/donated/trashed. i don't even know where to start.

― even cathy berberian's nose (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

six days off 34 and STILL no pony

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 16:38 (nineteen years ago)

ALREADY 34 and still no pony

― Zora (Zora), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

jbr, donate any/all paperback books to me.

― electro-acoustic lycanthrope (orion), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

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