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(christ: i really am turning into horace, arent i)

-- strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyl...), October 31st, 2003.

what the hell does that mean "turning into horace" anyway?

-- Horace Mann (handsomishbo...), October 31st, 2003.

ask ally

-- strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyl...), October 31st, 2003.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

ally, i'm sorry.

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Turning into Horace, yes I'm turning into Horace, I really think so.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

So obviously, it means masturbating.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

(is there a more subtle way I could have gotten Ally's attention?)

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought this was going to be like the "Ask a Drunk" board. Ha ha! J/k, Ally.

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally,

People keep telling me that I'm turning into Horace. Is it the snarky asides? Is it some crazy Canadian thing, possibly the water? Does it have something to do with the fact that we're both fictional characters?

Signed,
Confused

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

ally, i'm really, really sorry

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

DEAR ALLY: I never thought I would ever write to you, but last night our son -- who is engaged -- came over and told us that his fiancee's parents are upset with us because we didn't pick up the check for a dinner THEY invited us to.
Were we wrong not to offer to pay for the dinner? -- ELOISE IN NEWPORT, R.I.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, I'm sorry too.
Don't let Jess tell you he's more sorry than I am, cuz he's not.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally: You haven't had us all brutally killed yet? I'm surprised!
Signed, Not Me.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

DEAR ALLY: I am a single mother with two young daughters and a 21-year-old son, "Billy," who dropped out of high school during his senior year. When it happened, I was very upset. I told him if he wanted to continue to live at home, he would have to get a full-time job and pay rent. Billy didn't like that idea, so he went to live with his girlfriend and her parents, who didn't seem to care that he had no job.
About a year ago, Billy's girlfriend broke up with him. Since he had no place to go, I told him he could stay with me temporarily. He has been sleeping on my couch ever since. Billy has only a part-time job. He says that's all he can find. I'm tired of supporting him and I think he should be out on his own by now, but if I kick him out, he'll have nowhere to go. His father is no help. Billy rarely sees him. I'm at my wit's end. Please tell me what I should do. -- FED-UP MOM IN MASSACHUSETTS

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally: You and Kate should form a band. You can call yourselves "Kate & Ally".

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

dear ally: i am REALLY sorry

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally

You're the man now dog.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally,

My son has enormous testicles. Is it true this is called elephantitis?

― elephantis (Chris V), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally,
Please help me. My boyfriend just announced to the world that he's a single mother with several children. I want to make the relationship work, but also I want him to PAY PAY PAY! for telling me so many lies over the years.
Sincerely,
Sarah McLusky

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

: D

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/askally.jpg

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAA!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck Savage Love! The columnist for a new millennium!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, that picture makes up for this thread.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I still like "Ask Dave Q" better (no offense, Ally)

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Jess,

I have some body armour you can borrow if you think you might be needing it imminently.

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally,
How was your lunch break?
Sincerely,
Sarah

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I still like "Ask Dave Q" better (no offense, Ally)

Me too! It should have it's own section on FT, imo.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha, someone should totally delete this thread before Ally sees it and it can be this weird secret. She'll never know.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Was there an Ask Dave Q thread/picture? I am deprived!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Check out Proven by Science, Ned.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah! Will do.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally,

In Vegas I made the mistake of telling my "friends" I had an "accident." The girl giving me a lap dance was grinding too hard and I blew my load. Within minutes the nicknames started: Sticky Pants, Pocket Paste, et cetera. I took my medicine for three days in Vegas and thought that would be the end of it. Then before I walked in the door at home my brother was calling me Sticky Pants. Now my boss and coworkers are calling me SP.

The problem I have is that one of my so-called friends is out to ruin me. He had Sticky Pants business cards printed up with my name on them and is passing them out. I'm getting married next month. What are the odds the wife-to-be will learn about SP before I die? Do I tell her the truth now? Or should I kill ALL of my so-called friends? The pricks think it's funny that they are going to ruin my life.

Sticky Pants

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 31 October 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally

How much wanking is too much wanking? Can i do it...uhm, i mean, can SOMEONE do it until THEY need glasses?

Signed,

Four-Eyed Fapper Slapper

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally

I have a daughter who insists I get a robotic arm despite my objections. She also attends get togethers called FAP's which, according to the TV show 'Quincy', may lead to death. As you can see I have my (human) hands full! Advice?

Robo-dad

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

dear ally,
can i stop fucking myself yet¿

thanks, vanilla dys

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally,

Does this thread represent the nadir of human culture?

- Strongo

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally,

You know I started this thread with nothing but the noblest intentions of seeking the truth. It is the others and not me who have turned it into a mockery. Please don't hate me.


― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

People keep telling me that I'm turning into Horace. Is it the snarky asides? Is it some crazy Canadian thing, possibly the water? Does it have something to do with the fact that we're both fictional characters?

It's the name. Sean and Horace sound a lot alike.

DEAR ALLY: I never thought I would ever write to you, but last night our son -- who is engaged -- came over and told us that his fiancee's parents are upset with us because we didn't pick up the check for a dinner THEY invited us to.
Were we wrong not to offer to pay for the dinner? -- ELOISE IN NEWPORT, R.I.

You should have offered to pay half. However, since they did invite you, I could see the confusion, so you can be spared from being killed off I guess.

Dear Ally: You haven't had us all brutally killed yet? I'm surprised!

Don't worry, the bomb is in the mail.

DEAR ALLY: I am a single mother with two young daughters and a 21-year-old son, "Billy," who dropped out of high school during his senior year. When it happened, I was very upset. I told him if he wanted to continue to live at home, he would have to get a full-time job and pay rent. Billy didn't like that idea, so he went to live with his girlfriend and her parents, who didn't seem to care that he had no job.
About a year ago, Billy's girlfriend broke up with him. Since he had no place to go, I told him he could stay with me temporarily. He has been sleeping on my couch ever since. Billy has only a part-time job. He says that's all he can find. I'm tired of supporting him and I think he should be out on his own by now, but if I kick him out, he'll have nowhere to go. His father is no help. Billy rarely sees him. I'm at my wit's end. Please tell me what I should do. -- FED-UP MOM IN MASSACHUSETTS

This question is too long. Kill yourself for being so fucking wordy.

My son has enormous testicles. Is it true this is called elephantitis?

Why are you looking at your son's testicles? I'm reporting you to the authorities.

Dear Ally,
Please help me. My boyfriend just announced to the world that he's a single mother with several children. I want to make the relationship work, but also I want him to PAY PAY PAY! for telling me so many lies over the years.

Trust me, boyfriends are a dime a dozen. Just look at how many single men are on this board! Err, wait...you know what, you're right to stay with your weird impregnable boyfriend. Forget everything I just said to you about boyfriends being a dime a dozen.

Ally,
How was your lunch break?

Es war nett. Die Sonne ist gescheint und ich bin für Kleider eingekaufen.

Dear Ally,
In Vegas I made the mistake of telling my "friends" I had an "accident." The girl giving me a lap dance was grinding too hard and I blew my load. Within minutes the nicknames started: Sticky Pants, Pocket Paste, et cetera. I took my medicine for three days in Vegas and thought that would be the end of it. Then before I walked in the door at home my brother was calling me Sticky Pants. Now my boss and coworkers are calling me SP.

The problem I have is that one of my so-called friends is out to ruin me. He had Sticky Pants business cards printed up with my name on them and is passing them out. I'm getting married next month. What are the odds the wife-to-be will learn about SP before I die? Do I tell her the truth now? Or should I kill ALL of my so-called friends? The pricks think it's funny that they are going to ruin my life.

I think it's funny too.

How much wanking is too much wanking? Can i do it...uhm, i mean, can SOMEONE do it until THEY need glasses?

Jesus, get a girlfriend/boyfriend already.

I have a daughter who insists I get a robotic arm despite my objections. She also attends get togethers called FAP's which, according to the TV show 'Quincy', may lead to death. As you can see I have my (human) hands full! Advice?

Well, obviously you should get the roboarm, since I'm sure they aren't actually your objections but rather your wife's nonsensical objections. Women! Also, don't worry so much about your daughter. She just dumped every ounce of alcohol she had in her house in the sink and quit drinking. Or so someone told me.

can i stop fucking myself yet¿

Well I think that once you stop enjoying the fucking you should stop having the fucking.

Does this thread represent the nadir of human culture?

Yes, jess, it does. Next time I see you, please be advised I have a boot that I'd like to stick up your ass.

― Ask Ally, Friday, 31 October 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Although Nicole is right, that stupid banner really kind of makes up for the humiliation of yet another thread with my fucking name in it. Why don't you people go bother Dastoor??!

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i really had nothing to do with this!!

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

you told me to ask Ally, and I did. It's ALL yr fault.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, it was your post that made Horace do this. But you're right, I didn't realize he started this thread. Would you like to join me in Canada when I go jump him in a back alley?

I'm just going to twist this thread into another thread pointing out the existance of this doll:

http://www.silly-monkey.com/global/alley.jpg

That is the Amazing Ally. Read this information about Amazing Ally:

Grownups know that Amazing Ally's adorable façade is there to hide the memory chips, cartridge compartments, and sensors. Without the 40 MB of memory, she's just another doll. But children don't look at her that way. All they know is that Ally is a tea drinkin', in-line skatin', ballet-dancin', perky cheerleadin', A+ student who wants to be their best friend.
She keeps a volume of ready stories behind those painted lips, and remembers your favorite dates, thanks to an internal calendar. She keeps your secrets, like your favorite color or animal. Best of all, she throws tea and slumber parties on a whim, and even brings the goodies. She's an "amazing" pal, with a totally '90s attitude. "Let's have a tea party, grrrlfriend!" "Okay," you reply. Her answer: "Sweeet, Chickadee!" or other animated, Gen-Y gibberish.

Ally is best for girls who aren't big yet, but desperately want to be--any child 5 to 9 years old would totally dig her. (It takes a bit of know-how to change memory cards and press various buttons--and Ally has small, pointed objects in her bag of tricks that could injure or choke toddlers.) Check out the Ethnic Amazing Ally as well.

Perhaps you all should just buy this doll and direct your questions to her? It would be just like having me in your house actually?

― Amazing Ally, Friday, 31 October 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/stop-enjoying.jpg

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

OK all of Sean's picture posts make up for this entire thread.

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally has small, pointed objects in her bag of tricks that could injure or choke toddlers

WTF, it IS you!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

"Let's have a tea party, grrrlfriend!"

Ally says this all the time!

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus, get a girlfriend/boyfriend already.

wot?! THAT's not an answer!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

tweeparty

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

A riotgrrrl teaparty!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

you could just ask jel?

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/askjel.jpg

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Cool! I'm wearin' that hat today! :)

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Good cop/bad cop routine?

― Ask Ally, Friday, 31 October 2003 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

or the cop a feel routine?

"hello, i'm a Federal Breast Inspector. You can see that from my card here."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I want that shirt!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

me too. and jel's hat.

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I still want a got-damn answer!

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I want an elephant!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I want Mr Noodles' elephant!

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

don't we all

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

(Horace, I assume you've looked at the "laugh out loud" thread, although I'm not sure it explains anything.)

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I always liked that song. Reminded me of elephants.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw it, and the comma placement has me more confused than ever.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Who are you, Horace Mann??!

-- Allyzay (wt...), October 31st, 2003.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Where else would the comma go?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll take "the ass" for $400, Alex.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

so she's addressing me?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Do I really need to parse that sentence for you?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Who are you, Horace Mann? = "Who are you, o person named Horace Mann who I am addressing?"
Who are you, Horace Mann? = "Who are you, are you Horace Mann of all people?"

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Similarly, "What's New, Pussycat?" is meant to be parsed like "What's Burning, Meatloaf?"

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Hor-ace Mannnn, plays the Xy-lo-phone
Hor-ace Mannnn, plays the XY! Lo! Phone!

http://www.gdm93.dial.pipex.com/moore.jpg

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Too much catnip for Kingfish.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

quit being such a horace

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Who are you: Horace Mann? = "Who are you, are you Horace Mann of all people?"

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, "whore-ass man", I get it. Jess is becoming a whore-ass man, he's always trying to pinch those whores' asses.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

See also: "Get this kid, an elephant!"

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't like what this thread has become. I also want Sean's shirt.

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

We should have cafepress.com make that shirt for us.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, yes, but a colon is just a bossy comma in a tuxedo. They're generally interchangable, especially when semicolons or comma splices aren't involved.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

It's about elephants, get with y'all.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

i want a whore-ass, man.

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

HI I AM THE AMAZING RANDY AND I"M LOOKING FOR MY WIFE THE AMAZING ALLY HAS ANYONE SEEN HER?

― AMAZING RANDY, Friday, 31 October 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

If Ally were my wife I'm sure I'd be Randy too.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

You are a ridiculous man, Chris.

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

You are a ridiculous, man Chris.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

You are a Horace, Mann.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

:,

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

you're a rediculous whore-ass man.

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

See? See the sadomasochistic relationship going on there, Horace?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

That comma is practically on its knees servicing the colon.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

How much does it cost to get shirts printed at cafepress, Sean?

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, yes, but a colon is just a bossy comma in a tuxedo

with a bossy colon, sounds like you might have digestive problems.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

How much does it cost to get shirts printed at cafepress, Sean?

Nothing! From what I understand about it, anyhow, you just upload your graphics to the site and they just charge people as they order the shirt, no upfront costs. A friend did it once but I haven't tried it yet!
http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/horace.jpg

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

now get one of him playing the xylophone!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Design your own baseball jersey @ CafePress!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

That is an awesome idea. I want a DJ Griz t-shirt.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

do they do velcro?

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

my photo was too tiny to bother posting, but if you want a jersey with ME on it (and not that Cdn Idol lamo) look for the Horace Mann store at CafePress

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG sean you should make a store full of shirts with things I've said all over them I'd buy all of them!

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/1/8308681_F_tn.jpg

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

This is going to be the true Fall Fashion thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

There should also be a "Heavens! I kill you now! ;-)" t-shirt.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

http://zoom.cafepress.com/4/3270884_zoom.jpg

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

does the t-shirt come in comedy gold?

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

There should also be a "Heavens! I kill you now! ;-)" t-shirt.

Clearly it would be a smash success.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

All the world will proclaim that Horace has paid!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

But everyone knows that the first shirt that has to be made is of the naked Ned, right?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

There should be a viscous punch to the crotch.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

You've been thinking about dong resin too much.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread has become "What do you look like (on a t-shirt)?"

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I was going to make an excruciating joke right now but have suddenly thought better of it.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan and I are deprived!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Trust me, you wouldn't want to know.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, Ned. Had to be said.
That rhymed. Hammer Time.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Uh-oh! Uh-oh, uh-oh!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Wha-a' happened?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:45 (twenty-two years ago)

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/ned-t.jpg

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Uh-oh! Uh-oh, uh-oh!

http://www.plexcomols.com/clients/bdp/graphics/hammer.gif

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

:D

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Can that go on a tshirt? With the movement and everything?

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Awesome. I'm in the best mood ever now.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:50 (twenty-two years ago)

One of the few redeeming points to Full Throttle (Charlie's Angels) was when the 3 of them danced like Hammer for no reason.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.plexcomols.com/clients/bdp/graphics/hammer.gif
http://www.plexcomols.com/clients/bdp/graphics/hammer.gif
http://www.plexcomols.com/clients/bdp/graphics/hammer.gif

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Singin' hammer, yo! hammer MC Hammer GO Hammer and the rest can go and play - can't touch this

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

ask-a-tart

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.osric.com/~jeremy/bizarro.jpg

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread has become a work of art, by gosh!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

wait,

http://www.osric.com/~jeremy/capwank.jpg

http://www.osric.com/~jeremy/twoweeks.jpg

NOW it is!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Mike, you remember our nickname for me. I am touched!

― Allytart, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.farmsaver.com/images/ally.jpg

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.purgingtalon.com/sinister/ally.gif

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHA wtf!

http://www.shaav.com/art/ally.jpg

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Apparently this doll is also Ally but she is not amazing?

http://www.webstreet24.com/Sammlerpuppen/assets/thumb/ally-.jpg

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

got-damn!
I am never starting a thread again!

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

But what does that rainbow Ally symbol even mean?!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

That doll screams "HUZZAH!!!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.onthetop.com/products/derm/ally.jpg

― wtf, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.harley-quinn.com/Harleysnoglobe.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Alex, u r so gay.

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, that's incorrect.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

That is the coolest sno-globe ever!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Axes and Ally

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Alex And Ayes

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

OK Alex, you are so Horace Mann?

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

but what does that mean!?!?!?!?!?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.spacemen3.co.uk/images/sp3logo.jpg & http://www.purgingtalon.com/sinister/ally.gif

"On tonight's ep of Kate & Ally...."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I was asking meself the same question.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I think someone needs to do an Ask Alex.

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Why is Kate the Illuminati?? The hippie Illuminati at that?!?

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Well she is Masonic Boom so they ain't far off.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate's symbol is bigger than Ally's. Plus, her name is first on the show. Demand your rights, Ally!

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

The huge confusing rainbow Ally symbol is much bigger than Kate's though! I think I win?

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

True.

Are you guys lesbians though? I mean, the rainbows are kind of out of control...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm tempted as hell to start an Ask Alex in NYC thread but I'll leave it someone else

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG actually we are, Sarah, but I was trying to hide it from Tom!!! WTF!!!

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm tempted as hell to start an Ask Alex in NYC thread but I'll leave it someone else

Ask Alex in NYC!

What Matos wants, Matos gets.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Whoopsies. Slip of the fingers!

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

OH shit! Not what I meant! Oh my god!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG R U A LESBIAN TOO??? WE R HAVING A 3SOME TONITE!!!

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

And you were all saying that all of the ILX GUYS are gay!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

(Haha Ally hast turned into an AOLesbian)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG UR GAY

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG!!!? LOL!?!! ROTFL!??!! U R ALL GAY!!! I mean, WE R ALL GAY!?!

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"Clearly los tit" - gay and Latina!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

America On Lesbians???

OMG WE SHULD TOTALLY HAVE LESBIIN SeXor WHILE NA AN TOMBOT R BEING DORKS ABOT COMPUTR PROGRAMS FOR MUSIK??? THAT WILL SHOW THEM LOL LOL LOL

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

(Ha, your email address says Clearly, Los Tit!)
(Dammit, should've expected Dan to beat me to it)

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

My head and crotch just exploded.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Shocker.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yuck!

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

What a weird way to end my Friday ILXing.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I am here to help, you know?

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

You mean, exploding? I guess that's pretty weird.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess you need a new "dime a dozen" boyfriend after all? I mean yours just exploded!

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicolars I kiss you

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

these guys are good at exploding:

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf800/f872/f87283n0jlc.jpg

well, they WERE, at any rate.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/askalex.jpg

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahahaha I kiss you!

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh My god!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Alex, you should print that out and put it on your desk like a nameplate.

― Allyzay, Friday, 31 October 2003 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Not a bad idea, that.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i fear the day it comes down to "Ask Kingfish!"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, just to clarify:

Jess : Horace :: Ally : Lesbian.

Right?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

wait, which one of them is the muff diver, again?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, not Jess.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

zing!

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

A terrible beauty is born.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 23:32 (twenty-two years ago)

hey ally may i ask you a real question?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 1 November 2003 00:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it really long? I don't like long questions. Otherwise, sure.

― Allyzay, Saturday, 1 November 2003 02:43 (twenty-two years ago)

no, it isn't a long question.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 1 November 2003 03:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, it's 10:30 pm on Halloween! Shouldn't you be out whuppin' it up and causin' mischief right now?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 1 November 2003 03:31 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, I like to imagine Sean has a folder with all of our pictures in it, for emergencies.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 1 November 2003 04:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ally,
When dropping some science, is the appropriate ending to the sentence, phrase, of paragraph "Boo-yah" or "Word is bond"?

YOur pal

Hellt.p.

― Helltime Producto (Pavlik), Saturday, 1 November 2003 04:34 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/157322345X.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Saturday, 1 November 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

That's brilliant.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 1 November 2003 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

When dropping some science, is the appropriate ending to the sentence, phrase, of paragraph "Boo-yah" or "Word is bond"?

What type of science are we talking about? I mean, in general I think "Word is bond" seems like a good thing to say at any point in time, but say you're at a geology convention? Then you should probably end everything you say with "One love my niggaz and bitches"? That's what I'd do but also keep in mind I failed geology.

Ally, it's 10:30 pm on Halloween! Shouldn't you be out whuppin' it up and causin' mischief right now?

I was heading out the door as I posted that! I logged online to check the address of a party we were going to. Trust me, we whupped it up and caused mischief. Actually we whupped it up and caused way more mischief the following evening but lets not discuss why I have a stolen framed photo of Ray Romano holding a bear right now.

Tad, are you ever gonna ask your question?

― Ask Ally, Monday, 3 November 2003 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)


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