Things women shouldn't find sexy but do

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inspired by Things men shouldn't find sexy, but do.

we're dying to know

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm tempted to say "men"

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:33 (twenty-one years ago)

1) a good punch in the face
2) rohypnol (sp?)
3) being called bitch and ho.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:33 (twenty-one years ago)

4) Public schoolboys.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

caitlin wins

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Kilroy (on behalf of my friend Elaine).

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"take it, bitch"

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i just came.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Stubble rash.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:46 (twenty-one years ago)

7. guys that are old enough to know better that have skateboard tatoos (eg the 'thrasher' masthead across his whole back)

8. (this is a weird one, from personal experience) the scar from open-heart surgery. only works on otherwise healthy, young guys, i'm guessing.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Guys who are out of high school but still muck about with skateboards and mountain bikes and stuff like that, har har... (maybe I should just give in and buy a chopper)

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Me and my homies?

― LC, Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:55 (twenty-one years ago)

17 year olds. I REALLY should know better.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:56 (twenty-one years ago)

trayce is so OTM.

you should have been at ATP. it was like underaged paradise.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

9. bitten fingernails

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Im a sucker for a baby face. ATP was in the wrong hemisphere for me alas.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:58 (twenty-one years ago)

is it possible that kate hasn't posted 'stevem' yet? ;)

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Good lord, and here I thought I was alone. Trace and Colette OTM.

X-POST ARRRRGGGGGHHHH, COLETTE STOP IT!!!

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 08:59 (twenty-one years ago)

X-POST my ass, you wanna fuck steve like all the rest of us!!!

"turn around"

OMG You BETTER BE FUCKING JOKING

OMG OMG OMG *runs away crying*

― LC, Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Leave me alone. That joke isn't funny any more.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:02 (twenty-one years ago)

10. Smiths Lyrics.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:03 (twenty-one years ago)

11. beer guts

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:04 (twenty-one years ago)

really, seriously laughing really really hard at the kate/LC exchange. brilliant.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not X-posting anyone's ass. I don't swing that way.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:05 (twenty-one years ago)

(Whoever brings up the drunken post about bending HSA over my knee and caning him will get smacked.)

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:06 (twenty-one years ago)

12. guys reading comic books on public transport.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:10 (twenty-one years ago)

kate, since you brought it up yourself, does that mean you want to get smacked?

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Think you're gonna have to smack yourself, Kate...

12. sweat
13. hairy feet

(NB these are not particularly things *I* find sexy.)

xpost

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

15. nerds

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

16. Spanking.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

17. shaved chest (fresh, no stubble)

god, all the things i like clearly show i'm a big perv and like guys my age that look and act like fine young things...

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:14 (twenty-one years ago)

18. Chests that never grew hair in the first place.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Owls

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't have an open-heart surgery scar but does an appendix scar count? you can play tic tac toe on it if you get bored whilst sexing.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

not that you ever would. *ahem*

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

kate, you're so right. they need to make more of those.

oops, i don't think i've ever seen an appendix scar. what a great chat-up line!

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you ever FELT a shaved chest when it's the slighted bit humidified? It's gross and grippy - I had to tell my woman to chill out and be natural!!!

― LC, Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Seventeen year old public schoolboys don't have hair on their chests.

OK, I'm derailing this train of thought right now.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:18 (twenty-one years ago)

No, it's all been tranferred to their eyebrows.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:19 (twenty-one years ago)

20. bushy eyebrows

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

No. Eyebrows are never sexy. Never ever ever. Pluck those muthas.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

21. Guys who are not me.

― hmmm (hmmm), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

22. [school] uniforms

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the ties, actually.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

kate, isn't the whole busted thing about eyebrows?

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Ewwww Arch! You'll be listing spots and unwashed underwear next!

xpost

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Sadly, despite much talk of it and blatant exposure over the years, very few women have ever found the upside-down pink heart birthmark on my left ass cheek that sexy. WHY NOT, GODDAMN YOU?!

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)

hello kate, this is liam, and lots of girls disagree wif you, like.

― liam gallagher (electricsound), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.ysrnry.co.uk/ys3/issue2/images/liam.gif

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)

by the way...the next girlFAP so has to be at a schooldisco...

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't find liam sexy

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:23 (twenty-one years ago)

bushy eyebrows remind me of my older brother, ewww.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I am NEVER EVER EVER going to a schooldisko. Ever. Don't even try it, Colette.

And there *are* members of Busted that *don't* have apalling eyebrows. It's only the one guy that has catapillars, the other two - OK, technically one - of them have quite restrained and therefore sexy eyebrows.

Ugh! Ugh! Get it off, Jim, I feel icky and billious just looking at that thing.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:24 (twenty-one years ago)

The most sexually confused evening of my life was at the Edinbugh fringe watching a sixth form production of Journey's End. 17-year-old public schoolboys! In soldier's uniforms!

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:28 (twenty-one years ago)

22. being spanked

― someone who isn't a guy, and definitely is not oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

23) men telling us what we find sexy :-P

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha i feel like Kenan Heb3rt now

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 April 2004 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Archel, that doesn't sound exactly like confusion to me...

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I just rewind this thread to comment on the comic genius of Le Coq's post?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Suzy - Oh yes it does. Ask Sonic Youth!

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

24. Gay porn.

― christine, Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Does slash count as gay porn?

25) Fan fiction.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Is anyone going to say baldness? Anyone?

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Brian Eno is a sexy bald man.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:34 (twenty-one years ago)

26) Sticky-out hipbones in a too thin and 'is he malnorished' way.

I think this makes me a pervert.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:38 (twenty-one years ago)

27) Longer hair than you.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Male pattern baldness is wrong and should be vigorously repressed by the sexiness police.

Brian Eno is very nice and very interesting. But he isn't sexy.

― Eliza D., Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm a 12 and a half stone skinhead.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

What about Captain Picard?

― Charles Hatcher (musenheddo), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

So far I think the guys one's a lot nicer

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Picard for sure.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Some men shaving their head completely can look nice enough, if you like that look and they have the right-shaped head. But shaving their head is just another way of denying male pattern baldness by taking it all off. Show me a man who is sexy and is "out" about his male pattern baldness i.e. doesn't attempt to hide it by shaving completely.

― Eliza D., Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, Picard and Eno both qualify here.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha I sure do

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:51 (twenty-one years ago)

You may be surprised - but so do I.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

In other words, the only posters claiming male pattern baldness is sexy are two bald men!

― Eliza D., Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Well I qualify but for the "sexy" part, not that that's really for me to say anyway. Picard and Eno are both pretty lovely men, John Malkovich too but he might be more specialised

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

It was a bit of a joke, y'know

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Also - a small schlong.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 April 2004 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Well I can't have everything

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I was going to put baldness, but thought better of it because Mark was bound to get offended at the implication that it's something women shouldn't find sexy. And then he goes and suggests it himself, hehe.

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Ladies find us irresistable, Mr Mime. But, with my gut and inch thick glasses, I have the edge over you my friend.

Face it, girls - there's nothing hotter than a really ugly guy. With a lot of money.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Peter Stringfellow to thread.

― hmmm (hmmm), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

He's got great threads, that chap Stringfellow.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

No sense of humour (ie. none that relates to anyone/thing specific to his situation, anyway) tho, don't the ladies like that?

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:07 (twenty-one years ago)

All the women seem to have left the thread. That's surprising. To me.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Things that women shouldn't find sexy, and dont:

This thread.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

They had to go do some cleaning.

xpost

― hmmm (hmmm), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

They were laughing so hard at our rapier wit they were helpless to type.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

28. men cleaning

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

oooh yes.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:21 (twenty-one years ago)

29. Men with pushchairs or (even better) papooses.

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Freak!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:28 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.welcometobarbados.org/papoose.jpg

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

(But not alone, I see.)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to get "the eye" quite a lot when adam was tiny, and I was out w/him in his pushchair.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Sigh. This thread was so much better before the boys got on it...

Can I give a "Oh F*CK yeah!" to whoever said boys cleaning. Especially if they are doing the dishes. And added extra points if some kind of apron is involved.

However, cooking? No. I get the PH34R, not the horn.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Yr scared of men cooking??

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't a papoose a kind of deer?

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Not alls men's cooking. I mean, some mens are really very GOOD cooks. It's just not particularly sexy when they do it. When HSA cooks (which should be sexy) I just get the ph34r.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh bad cooks trying to do you a BIG FAVOUR by making dinner, yeah. Fuck that.

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Exactly. He's all LOOK I AM COOKING FOR YOU, ISN'T THAT SEXY MISTER MONKEY GONNA GET SOME ACTION NOW as he bungs a couple of frozen pizzas in the oven and cracks open some wine. And it's like, "Dude, half your family are professional chefs, you can do better than that."

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.mindspring.com/~clemota/ian/1998/03/29-papoose.jpg

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the baby's cuteness shines so hard it blinds you to what the man looks like.

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I read that initially as you fancying men who themselves were in pushchairs or papooses.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not our fault, that one. It's biological, it just makes good sense, in that whole "Look, there is a male with highly potent sperm and good genes to produce a baby that cute, I must mate with him... now!"

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

But babies all look like sacks of damp wheat.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

With ickle cute button noses and big eyes and teeny fingernails.

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 1 April 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Barf.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

33) Men lezzing up. Oh yeah!

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

34) plumber's crack

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Brian Eno is very nice and very interesting. But he isn't sexy.

Er, tell that to Julie Christie. Eno is well known as one of the leading shagmonsters of the glam rock era.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

35) belly

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Belly's gonna get ya. Belly's gonna get ya. BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY!!!

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

(That is usually sung while pouncing on a belly with rapacious glee, so why the sad face?)

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:25 (twenty-one years ago)

the best belly is the belly you see in the morning when you wake up first and his t-shirt has kinda scooted up.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Now I wish I still had my belly

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

36. A man wearing eyeliner. Unless he's some big burly dude or he looks old enough to be your father/grandfather, in which case it's kinda freaky. But eyeliner on someone who's about the right age? Yum.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

teeny and Kate's belly love always makes me so happy.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:44 (twenty-one years ago)

That didn't come out right, sorry.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

... as the Bishop said to the actress

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Big noses. Giant fucking snozzer, little neck trembling under the weight of it all. = gives good head, I swear to god. (So, actually, that's something that women SHOULD find attractive, I would think.)

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Huh? A great big giant honking HUH? Not cause big noses aren't sexy (cause they are) but where is it written that womens shouldn't find them sexy? It's *often* been posited as an indication of... other things, hence sexy.

― Super-Kate (kate), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:47 (twenty-one years ago)

It's *often* been posited as an indication of... other things, hence sexy.

Large handkerchiefs?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh God, I can't believe I'm typing this and I am waiting for the lightening bolt, but the teenage orthodox Jewish boys you see reading Hebrew scriptures on the tube. Always...

It's that forbidden fruit thing. May God strike me down.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Now I feel like a pervert.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, you are one.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

On the contrary, I've developed a liking for Islamic women - with headscarves not the full burqa bit. This belongs on the other thread doesn't it?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean it's not a feature traditionally considered attractive.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my god, Anna is so OTM it is making my heart flutter. Another thing is the tefillin (sp?) they wrap around their arms, be still my heart. That stuff has always seemed SO fucking hot to me.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it actually breathes pretty well.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 1 April 2004 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i second the plumbers crack.

but only on skinny boys that don't really have asses to speak of...

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 1 April 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh God, I can't believe I'm typing this and I am waiting for the lightening bolt, but the teenage orthodox Jewish boys you see reading Hebrew scriptures on the tube. Always...

It's that forbidden fruit thing. May God strike me down.

me, too! i'm glad i'm not the only one.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

the best belly is the belly you see in the morning when you wake up first and his t-shirt has kinda scooted up.

bwaahaa, glad someone thinks so - this happens to me a lot and it's vurr annoying

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Things gay women shouldn't find sexy but do: straight women. Enter the drama hurricaine.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh I feel ya (situations reversed kinda)

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

37. Nostrils flaring

― Maria D., Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

plaid pants and a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup t-shirt

― Aaron A., Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Ew, no!

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread should have been locked after Caitlin's answer.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

17 year olds. I REALLY should know better

http://i.imdb.com/mptv1.gif

this is the part where I asy "If I were 17 years younger" etc
I KNOW he's gonna turn into one of those neurotic city boys. That has always been my downfall, yum (and yet sigh)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"say", as I have been addled by the thought of said 17-year-olds, apparently :)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 1 April 2004 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Man, this entire thread = Yours.

Goths, obv.

― sarah feeling odd, Thursday, 1 April 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

drunken coked up skinny assholes in rock bands with STDs who can barely read.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Thursday, 1 April 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

68% of STDs in America read below the fourth-grade level!

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 1 April 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

beards.

young buddhist monks. rowrrr.

― lid, Thursday, 1 April 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, Dan wins 2nd place (after Caitlin, obv).

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 1 April 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Anna - you should have hung out with me more when I lived in Stoke Newington. We used to have Hassidic 'rowdies' smoking and throwing things in our courtyard.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 1 April 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

like in "Snatch"? I thought Guy Ritchie was making that up!

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 1 April 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I haven't seen Snatch. Damn Guy Ritchie and his social realism. To be honest, they made pretty pathetic rowdies, but the janitors wife chase them away anyway.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 1 April 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

there was an article maybe five or six years ago in the new york times about rebellious hasidic teenagers in south williamsburg, with accompanying photos that i put up on the fridge. gotta love those rulebreakers!

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 1 April 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

KRISHNAS

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 1 April 2004 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

There's always David, the hip hasid who shows up at all the cool parties, used to come to Transmission, all the Twisted Ones/Mighty Robot shows etc.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Thursday, 1 April 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe he's single, Lauren. You can borrow my sheets with the hole in them.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Thursday, 1 April 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I just posted this on the other thread but think it's important to share:

I don't know if I should post this or in the other thread but...

I have bushy eyebrows, yes I do but not quite a monobrow. I find, celebrity-wise, that monobrows are more acceptible then bushy eyebrows. People comment on them often and I sometimes get insecure, and assume they're a bad thing, but some girls don't seem to mind(or they're just more impressed with my better attributes)

but once in college there was this beautiful girl I had a crush on, a bit of a weirdo though, and the day I was finally introduced to her the first thing she said was "I like your eyebrows" and I freaked out. I assumed she was making fun of me. I complained to my friend and later the friend said, no dan, she really likes your eyebrows.

the moral of the story? different strokes for different folks..

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Thursday, 1 April 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

So there are no women out there who get flustered over the thought of an underendowed man? Oh COME on.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 April 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Britney Spears

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Thursday, 1 April 2004 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry :)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 1 April 2004 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

white guy afros cf Kevin McDonald, yum

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 1 April 2004 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

and...http://www2.rincondelvago.com/ocio/television/dibujos_animados/southpark/img/i_crea_matt_stone.jpg

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 1 April 2004 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

John Waters

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Thursday, 1 April 2004 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

i love the way that the 'Things men shouldn't find sexy, but do' stayed civil and good-natured, but this one turned hateful from the word go

for obv reasons i don't hold it against caitlin, but those who chimed in "yeah men are pieces of shit! hating women is evil but hating men is fantastic! you go girl!" can fuck right off

― sdilrutnpodvn90387t, Thursday, 1 April 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

oh donna say it ain't so

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 1 April 2004 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

cuz that means you'd hit carrottop if you were drunk enough

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 1 April 2004 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

All depends how 'hit' is being used in context, sir.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 2 April 2004 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

7. guys that are old enough to know better that have skateboard tatoos (eg the 'thrasher' masthead across his whole back)

fuck yeah!!

shaved chests are yuck.

I like hairy chests, hair that's outgrown its haircut, sweat, callusedd hands.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Friday, 2 April 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

apparently you can put anyone behind a bar/on a stage, and i will find them irresistable.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 2 April 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

i love the way that the 'Things men shouldn't find sexy, but do' stayed civil and good-natured, but this one turned hateful from the word go
for obv reasons i don't hold it against caitlin, but those who chimed in "yeah men are pieces of shit! hating women is evil but hating men is fantastic! you go girl!" can fuck right off

WTF is this all about? What hate? *confused*

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 April 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

what lauren said.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Friday, 2 April 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

for what obv reasons?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 2 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe no other woman on this thread hasn't said this: glasses. Especially emo hornrims.

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 2 April 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

scissor hands!

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 2 April 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

drillerhands

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 2 April 2004 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

wrong thread

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 2 April 2004 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

38. People who aren't me

― oops (Oops), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

wrong thread?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

wrong, thread

― oops (Oops), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

39) infanticide
40) whatshername bobbit

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Does slash count as gay porn?

i'm glad i wasn't the first person to mention slash.

― slash's cigarette (lucylurex), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

For a sec I thought Ms Lurex said 'hobbit' and I was bemused.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

trayce don't the first few comments in this thread strike you as the least bit disparaging of men? what lucy lurex posted is like a guy posting, you know, 'getting pregnant on purpose / treating her man like a walking wallet'.

RJG ever heard of a person named tiresias?

haha xpost you just don't quit grinding that axe, do you, ms lurex? jokes about murder and castration shore are funnnnnnny.

― 53980um9ewripjosimcfg, Friday, 2 April 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

once lauren stumbled into a venue where the bartenders served you drinks while performing T-Rex cover versions on stage and she exploded like when the Chicken Lady went to the male strip club and experianced Rooster Boy...

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

oh blah blah blah

(crosspost)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

hi calum!(xpost)

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

This sounds like a fine venue!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd say!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

when i start feeling emasculated i'm sure i'll say something

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

trayce don't the first few comments in this thread strike you as the least bit disparaging of men?

No. This thread is "things WOMEN shouldnt find sexy but do".

Sadly there are women out there who DO find it a turn on to be called names, slapped, whatever.

If thats dispariging to anyone, its to those women, not men you mentalist.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

what about tiresias?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

38. People who aren't me

Haha oops you know youre the only one for me.

This week anyway.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

i WAS taking the piss out of men who think its funny to joke about date rape or believe women want it. there was certainly nothing in it aimed at ALL men. then i proceeded to poke fun at people (men and women) who joke about feminists - that we are all castrating baby-eating bitches. do you understand, calum?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Sadly there are women out there who DO find it a turn on to be called names, slapped, whatever.

given ROHYPNOL, trayce???? that's what pushed me over the edge, because it made it patently obvious that di was just manbashing as is her wont, instead of actually answering the thread title.

i'm sure somebody, probably a male ilxor with hopes of getting into di's pants, will now chime in explaining how there are indeed oodles of women who get off on being given roofies...

― asdfaskldjsklf, Friday, 2 April 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

pff

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

how men are going to get in my pants on the internet is beyond me.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:31 (twenty-one years ago)

hey di, where's the line between taking the piss and gender hatred? or is the rule "when a woman does it, it's ok, but when a guy does it, it's harassment"?

because i've got this fantastic joke about clitoridectomies that i've been just waiting to tell, see, and as soon as i get that green light...

― 059m45urut0me, Friday, 2 April 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

perhaps pants emulators will be the next big thing

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i'll have ten of those!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

when i start feeling emasculated i'm sure i'll say something
-- the surface noise

That would presumably be 'ouch', in a high pitched voice.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway, this is my last post here. I said a few months back that one would be, but this IS it. I'm posting to ask this of you guys and good luck with your forum.

It's been fun.

Gee thats funny. I could swear I can still smell something...

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, Trayce, that might be me. I recently switched to Tea Tree Oil Deoderant.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.gnr.szm.sk/obr/slash.jpg

― slash's figure-hugging leather pants (lucylurex), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:43 (twenty-one years ago)

What about the Aussies and NZ types get together and pool some money to buy Di a Slash impersonator for one hot night?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Why not just buy her Slash?

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:48 (twenty-one years ago)

that would make me a very very happy woman.

― slash's nosering (lucylurex), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I won't have you say that women shouldn't find slash sexy Lurex, you just want him all to yourself beeyotch

― the part of Slash's guitar that rubs caressingly against his groin (Menelaus Dar, Friday, 2 April 2004 02:50 (twenty-one years ago)

We would need to buy Di a time machine if we bought her Slash, so she could go back to 1987 when he was hottest. That could be expensive.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:50 (twenty-one years ago)

men with power is unsexy, but I would tolerate them provided I could steal it all. If only I had more opportunity to be a megalomaniac. (Curses on incubus for ruining an otherwise perfectly good word)

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I already form an eveil plan to spoil Di's plan, involving molesting Slash prior to 1987 and ruining him for all other women forever

― Moriarty (Menelaus Darcy), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Getting back to the thread at hand:

- breastfeeding (or so Im told)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

OF COURSE I WANT HIM ALL TO MYSELF! mmmmm 1987 slash and a time machine, colin are you internationally telepathic? menelaus please don't make jokes about molesting slash, it offends calum.

― slash's wind machine (lucylurex), Friday, 2 April 2004 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean bringing him across gently and caringly so HE IS RUINED FOR ALL OTHER WOMEN FOREVER. oh fukkit, too much effort I am going back to sleep.

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Friday, 2 April 2004 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm not calum but you can say whatever you want about slash, i don't mind! me i'm having a good laugh over the fact that you're fawning over someone who was arrested on domestic violence charges.

the ironing is delicious etc

― iu23oiunci35ucou, Friday, 2 April 2004 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

God, who got up and forgot to put their sense of humour on?

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 April 2004 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew it! I knew it wasn't all long loving guitar solos to the pretty girls in the front row

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Friday, 2 April 2004 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yeah, say it with me Ms Lurex, "He's just misunderstood, I can change him"

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Friday, 2 April 2004 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe women find domestic abuse sexy, the firm hand they need and all? I think men go to far too much effort these days, they should not have to chase so much so I slip the rohypnol in my own drink

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Friday, 2 April 2004 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

what did tiresias do?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 2 April 2004 03:08 (twenty-one years ago)

you mean your appreciation of slash is......

IRONIC?????

my god man stop the presses

the shock is too much for me, i must sit down

xpost menelaus you're my kind of girl! what would it take to get you to convert to mormonism? roofies brought me twenty-eight wives so far!

― 0234958j038452, Friday, 2 April 2004 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

gee whiz rjg ever heard of google?

"When Tiresias was walking in the woods one day, he came upon two great serpents copulating; he struck them with his staff, and was thereupon transformed into a woman. Seven years later, she/he passed by the same place and came upon the same two serpents copulating; she/he struck them again with the staff and was turned back into a man. Some time later, Zeus and Hera were arguing over who had more pleasure in sex, the man or the woman: Zeus said it was the woman, while Hera claimed men got more pleasure from the act. To settle the argument, they consulted Tiresias, since he had experienced life as both sexes, and Tiresias sided with Zeus. In her anger, Hera struck Tiresias blind. Since Zeus could not undo the act of another deity, he gave Tiresias the gift of prophecy in compensation."

― 43oyc9nc9, Friday, 2 April 2004 03:10 (twenty-one years ago)

that worked out pretty neatly.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 2 April 2004 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Wasn't that an episode of Charmed?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 2 April 2004 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(Guys, stop calling this person Calum; it is more likely than not that it isn't him.)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 2 April 2004 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

duh!!

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 2 April 2004 03:49 (twenty-one years ago)

drunk does not mean stupid (usually) so I'm staying away from Carrot Top. Matt Stone better watch his ass, though

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 2 April 2004 04:32 (twenty-one years ago)

whoever this person is, they're a bit of a nutter. i'd never have guessed i was so offensive, must be doing my job right. for the record i'd be a little silly to not have figured out that slash isn't exactly a woman's best friend. i just like his hair and wish i could play guitar like him, ain't no irony there. actually i've got quite a bit of firsthand experience of domestic violence, but i'm not going to kill this thread by talking about it. instead i'll let you contemplate the hair. contemplate the hair!

http://www.snakepit.org/slash-live1.jpg

― slash's tattoo of himself with boobs, Friday, 2 April 2004 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

hippie boys

― DMTina (DMTina), Friday, 2 April 2004 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I dunno, I didn't read the "things men shouldn't find sexy..." thread because I took one look at the title and knew it wasn't for me. Yet it's really amazing how many men got on this thread and started trying to tell us what or who we should or shouldn't file in our forbidden sexy file, and drawing conclusions therefrom.

But yeah, that makes us man-hating bitches or something. Whatever.

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 2 April 2004 06:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I too late / new to join this thread and say I do find baldness quite sexy? And hairy chests? As long as they are not on scrawny, this men?

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 2 April 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

i have to say that this thread was fun and good natured, until a few people decided to be arsey.

clearly, all the chixors are man-hating bitches.

i know i am.

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 2 April 2004 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Things not to do with gender, but are sexy:

Being fitted for a wedding dress
Getting hair cut
Trying on shoes
Most bathroom specific activities

― marianna, Friday, 2 April 2004 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

You'd better not marry me, I ain't wearing no dress nohow

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Friday, 2 April 2004 11:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Not a man being fitted into a wedding dress, but the act of trying on dress and being fitted yourself! Doesn't matter if the person fitting you is a boy or girl, likewise for getting your hair cut, shoes, etc. I suspect this is the same for guys when they go and get their hair cut.

― marianna, Friday, 2 April 2004 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, another sexy situation I just thought of. When you are a drawing/painting model for someone, and they are staring at your hand or face or whatever and drawing it. That someone is concentrating abstractly on all or one part me, that would make me feel sexy. Strangely, I never get this feeling when being photographed.

― marianna, Friday, 2 April 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Somebody on the mang thread mentioned opticians getting really close to your face and I think it should also be on the gurl thread.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 2 April 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't find opticians sexy, I find them VERY FRIGHTENING AND DISTURBING but maybe that's the same thing in an unsettling sort of sexy way.

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 2 April 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes I feel the same, not sure if it's fear or lurve. My old optician was Irish and completely gorgeous and I would lose the ability to work out which way was left and which was right when he was testing my eyes. Actually I am not very good at it to start with, but he made me EVEN MORE flustered. Don't stand so close to me! Oh ok do then. Eek.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 2 April 2004 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

It's when they get really close you your face and you have to stifle the kiss reflex.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 2 April 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha yes!

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 2 April 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Number whatever we are up to: Buddhist monks. Very very ashamed. (Although since Matt may yet still run off and become one, not that outlandish.)

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 2 April 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't find someone who is an optician sexy, but sometimes, when someone in a professional capacity invades your personal space, it can be a turn on in general. I guess we shouldn't find peoples actions (when they are just doing their jobs) a turn on, but I do. Does it work in converse if there is a particularly attractive client/patient?

― marianna, Friday, 2 April 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I bet there are opticians who find it k-sexy to look at all the pretty colours in a cute girl's eyes.

I'll second Buddhist monks, especially the young boy ones (the shame)

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 2 April 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I think opticians are sexier than other types of doctor because you know the only part of your body they're ever going to be looking deeply into is your eye...

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 2 April 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

(sorry to intrude)

but aw archel and i find the same thing sexy

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 2 April 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

(except she'd probably prefer the male opticians)

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 2 April 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Not fussy actually :)

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 2 April 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok if there's intrusion already I want to say this thread is getting SO COOL, night

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Friday, 2 April 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

When an optician gets close to me, all I have to stifle is giggles. I don't know how you can find that sexy, unless of course the optician is sexy!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 2 April 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the tingly feel of breath on cheek.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 2 April 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

The detumescent penis.

― Joelene, Friday, 2 April 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

i have learned a new word today.

― hmmm (hmmm), Friday, 2 April 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

wow, I'm a skinny geek who reads comics on the train!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 2 April 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I call dibs...on YOU, baby

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 2 April 2004 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Number whatever we are up to: Buddhist monks. Very very ashamed. (Although since Matt may yet still run off and become one, not that outlandish.)

I'm still having trouble not imagining Matt cleaning your flat, in uniform.

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 3 April 2004 09:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Otherwise-masculine guys who do effeminate things (like talking with their hands or sitting on one foot) and somehow look good, rather than gay or weird, doing it.

― jewelly (jewelly), Sunday, 4 April 2004 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Sadly there are women out there who DO find it a turn on to be called names, slapped, whatever.

If thats dispariging to anyone, its to those women, not men you mentalist.

hmm, isn't that a bit condescending? especially in terms of sexual relationships, what's wrong with this turning a woman on?

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Sunday, 4 April 2004 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I should have elaborated.. I more meant the (joking) extremes Di listed, the rohypnol/punch in the face thing.

I had a point but now I forget what it was.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 4 April 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

Seventeen year old public schoolboys don't have hair on their chests.

Jesus Christ, had I joined ilX three months earlier than I did I would've been in soooo much wonderful trouble.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 6 August 2005 16:40 (twenty years ago)

!!!!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 6 August 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

I stand by scissorhands.

― Cathy (Cathy), Saturday, 6 August 2005 23:27 (twenty years ago)

Ian, you do realise that "public schoolboy" means something *completely* different in the UK?

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Sunday, 7 August 2005 06:12 (twenty years ago)

hilarious and entertaining drunk fat men?

not all of them.... just a select few. but still... what?!

― tehRZA gibbons (tehresa), Sunday, 7 August 2005 06:17 (twenty years ago)

If I was on ILX and single, I would DEFINITELY be in a world of trouble by now, I am sure of it, heh.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 7 August 2005 06:20 (twenty years ago)

41. those men who are completely 100% out of the question off limits unattainable never gonna happen, not with you and not with anyone else, but it's not because they're a) gay b) not single or c) monk/similar. one of their cursed species currently has me tied in knots.

― someone, Sunday, 7 August 2005 11:23 (twenty years ago)

is he your brother?

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Sunday, 7 August 2005 11:24 (twenty years ago)

he is not.

― someone, Sunday, 7 August 2005 11:25 (twenty years ago)

The ability of men to to concentrate all their will into some seemingly trifle - yet extremely important to them - pastime, such as constructing miniature robots or putting up a perfect mixtape.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 7 August 2005 12:33 (twenty years ago)

i should pretend to be 17 more. i can pass, i have a kiddy face.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 7 August 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

17 year olds. I REALLY should know better.

*inches slowly away*

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 7 August 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

43 - 4l4n r1ckm4n as rasputin. objectively speaking he is repellent in that film - evil and pushy and hairy and stinky and filthy and manipulative and power-greedy and out for anything he can get - but somehow... rowr.

― emsk ( emsk), Monday, 8 August 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

I am completely shocked that I never got around to posting "NUTSACKS!!!!!!!!! OMG" to this thread.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

The ability of men to to concentrate all their will into some seemingly trifle - yet extremely important to them - pastime, such as constructing miniature robots or putting up a perfect mixtape.

when women do this it's even hotter. women, do this more.

― my favorite cover band, crystal shit (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:07 (twenty years ago)

I don't think it's a surprise to find Alan Rickman sexy, especially if he plays an evil character.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

yeh tuomas, r1ckm4n is nearly always ('cept in trvly m4dly d33ply, blech) teh hottness esp when playing bad guys - eg him as snape makes me fall over immediately - but that's why i didn't pick him as someone else, cos it's generally understandable why he makes gurls fall over. his rasputin - or have you seen it? - is genuinely revolting though, in proper "ick ick get your hands away from me yes and your eyes and the rest of you ugh ugh begone ugh i need a wash" stylee, he's emotionally grubby and slimy but... but... rowr.

― emsk ( emsk), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

I love it when grown men suddenly do a gawky teenage movement, feet shuffling, looping arms around bent legs etc. Lovely. Makes me melt every time.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

So anything that makes them seem more like 17-yr olds, then?

― Laurel, Monday, 8 August 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

Do women like nutsacks? Be honest.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

Emsk, I haven't seen Rasputin, so maybe I was too quick to judge.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

I think if I answered this thread's question it would be similar to Ms Lurex's orig. scandalous post. Perhaps a little less far down the continuum on each point, but in the same directions. Mind you, I said "if".

― Laurel, Monday, 8 August 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

http://www.erosblog.com/penis-of-rasputin-02.jpg

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

It looks like she shouldn't find it sexy but does.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

I know!

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I am a woman and nutsacks are keen. They are soft and delicate and independent minded and react in a fascinating way to warmth and cold.

― Top hat, Monday, 8 August 2005 15:55 (twenty years ago)

http://www.hboasia.com/hbosa_movie_media/2005031513081654432.jpg

blech

― emsk ( emsk), Monday, 8 August 2005 15:55 (twenty years ago)

fuzziness. i'm sure this has been covered, but it bears repeating. there is altogether too much hair removal being done among men these days.

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Monday, 8 August 2005 17:00 (twenty years ago)

"bears repeating"

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 8 August 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

independent minded

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 8 August 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

bears repeating

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 8 August 2005 17:09 (twenty years ago)

i like stinky-ish boys. not all-out sour, but a little more smelly than most people can stand. um...not the kind of stink that clears a room.

― ai lien (kold_krush), Monday, 8 August 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

Ian, you do realise that "public schoolboy" means something *completely* different in the UK?

Yes, but still!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 8 August 2005 23:30 (twenty years ago)

Alan Rickman, oh dear - the more evil and repulsive the character he's playing, the more attractive he becomes.

It's really weird to read back my old answers on this thread. I'm not sure who that person was saying those things, nor where she went. Sigh.

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 07:20 (twenty years ago)

Alan Rickman, oh dear - the more evil and repulsive the character he's playing, the more attractive he becomes.

Suzy has a now not so secret Alan Rickman thing as well.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 07:26 (twenty years ago)

I think it's quite similar to the J.Harris thing - that the more unpleasant and shouty the character he plays, somehow the more smouldering and sexy he becomes.

I was just watching some random movie on Saturday night (it was my ex's favourite movie - that should really have been a warning sign in itself) and halfway through, I was half awake and not really paying attention till then, Jared Harris just stood up and started shouting at people in a bad Russian accent. He's playing this totally amoral, horrible, misogynist, wife-beating, cheating, thief with a bad mustache and a worse accent, but still... mmm, those forearms. That leonine hair. (My godmum reckonned it's all related to my anger management - because anger is now forbidden to me, I am attracted to characters who are able to express their anger in whatever form and whenever they desire, without fear of reprisal.)

Anyway, erm. Yeah. Alan Rickman. Hott.

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 07:30 (twenty years ago)

*inches slowly away*

Aww *sulk*

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

Alan Rickman's finest hour was playing the Sherrif of Nottingham in Robin Hood -Prince of Thieves. It's one of those rites of passage crush. As you grow older you move from Christian Slater as Will Scarlett to Alan. The Star Wars Luke-Han transition is similar.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 08:52 (twenty years ago)

@lex thomson on c4 news when he's doing his paxo mini-me thing - cor!

― leigh (leigh), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 08:58 (twenty years ago)

I couldn't watch Robin Hood, though. I mean ... he had a BEARD. Not a dirty dronerock beard, but a full on "Medieval Evil Bastard" beard.

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:00 (twenty years ago)

Tony Robinson was a better Sheriff of Nottingham.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:01 (twenty years ago)

haven't read the whole thread, but surely i'm not the first to say "boys that are dull & moronic, but good-looking"?

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

But that type of woman doesn't post to ILx Greg... They are reading heat under their desks instead.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:04 (twenty years ago)

They should do a switch, and have Alan Rickman present Time Team for a season. He would be so... droll and world-weary. "Another Roman coin... oh the suspense is simply killing me..."

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:05 (twenty years ago)

... weak now.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:08 (twenty years ago)

i'm not convinced.

xxpost, obv. Rickman + Time Team = unbeatable.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:09 (twenty years ago)

Maybe we can hire Alan Rickman to be in all our videos being all hott and smouldering, so we can make out with him and...

Damn, Texas beat us to it! :-(

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:10 (twenty years ago)

http://cornerstorecomics.com/images/af_hhgttg_marvin.jpg

Hot or Not?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:14 (twenty years ago)

Chibi stormtrooper?

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:15 (twenty years ago)

Not. Robot sex does nothing for me. Add N to X were wrong.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:16 (twenty years ago)

Not even Jude Law in AI robot sex? OK, mind you, I find Jude Law criminally NOT-hott, but still.

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:17 (twenty years ago)

see, the Jude Law fawning proves my point upthread.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:21 (twenty years ago)

Alan Rickman is such a terrible ham. Marvin would never be so uncool.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:24 (twenty years ago)

What fawning? I said I find him criminally NON-hott. I think I'd rather chew my own vagina off than find him attractive. In fact, just about the only way I was ever even lead into finding him vaguely attractive was those ads where he was in bed with Ewan MacGregor. In which case, it was all WHO CARES??!?! He's in bed with Ewan MacGregor!

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:25 (twenty years ago)

oh yeah. sorry. red mist. handsome guys give me red mist.
i see "jude law" in print and snap.
who am i kidding? it's green mist, isn't it?
*runs off, crying*

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:29 (twenty years ago)

I've never found Jude Law hot either. He looks like he's genetically engineered or something... Too spotless!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:31 (twenty years ago)

Bit plastic Jude Law, looks like he'd just have a smooth area where his genitals should be.

In other sexy-but-don't-want-it-to-be news: Alex James.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:36 (twenty years ago)

B-b-but Alan Rickman also had a smooth area in the place of his genitals! In Dogma!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:38 (twenty years ago)

Alex James is fat and has a beard now, and wears Burberry farmers' jackets.

And is STILL hotttness incarnate.

OTOH, Jared Harris naked.

x-post ROTFLMAO!!!

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:39 (twenty years ago)

Even i think Alex James is hott, although I'd like to be him rather than (Mr Idler Special Shed Correspondent and rare breed apple grower). He had less beard on university challenge (grumble grumbl I'm not allowed a beard).

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:43 (twenty years ago)

You could tie your dreads round the front!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 09:57 (twenty years ago)

But that was a film Tuomas! Jude Law has it in real life and Sadie, Sienna and Daisy are all being paid mad sums of money to pretend he can actually have sex. Just proves that Sienna Miller can actually act.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 10:00 (twenty years ago)

I doubt the quality of your showbiz gossip.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 10:03 (twenty years ago)

wha? that shit is GOLD.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 10:03 (twenty years ago)

OTOH that story about Jack Black having two penises is strangely compelling.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 10:05 (twenty years ago)

But but... I wanted to buy Ed's dreads to make sideburns with. (Or was that the extra bits of Ned's hair, Cannot remember through drunkenness.)

I'm also trying to make up my mind on whether Jared Harris's droopy Russian Bandit mustache is hott or not. I think I only found it so because he was naked at the time.

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 10:05 (twenty years ago)

if my girlfriend could post here, she would say 'fictional mobsters'.

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 10:09 (twenty years ago)

being gagged and bound

― egg but no bacon, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 10:20 (twenty years ago)

Jude Law is pretty good looking (and therefore doesn't belong on this thread). Better looking than alan rickshaw (who therefore does). As you were.

― egg but no bacon, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 10:22 (twenty years ago)

You'd have to be bound and gagged to find Jude Law better looking than Alan Rickman! Nutter!

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 10:24 (twenty years ago)

i second that.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 10:26 (twenty years ago)

well, as an experiment, I'll let you gag me and tie me up to see who I think is better looking then.

(thinks: should not post this!)

(posts anyway)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

ha ha, like you'd let *me* bind and gag you!

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

Take me to the haven of your bed / Was something that you never said.

Rather, "Can we go inside now?" to mean less.

― youn, Wednesday, 10 August 2005 10:23 (twenty years ago)

ha ha, like you'd let *me* bind and gag you!

Is there a reason why I shouldn't? ;-)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 10:26 (twenty years ago)

Is a certain male bodily fluid sexy? Do I even have to ask?

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 10:29 (twenty years ago)

Generally, no. Only in very specific cases. I'd have to be really, really, really into a guy before I found his bodily fluid sexy.

― Alce Tea-Skirt (kate), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 10:30 (twenty years ago)

what? like his piss?

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 10 August 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

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