I'm so so sorry

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When I was writing the program, I put a 0 where there should have been a 1.

It kind of fucked it up. But you know that.

Erm, I'm sorry. I just thought I'd come on here and tell you that.

I've been meaning to get round to it for a while, but..you know.
I'm stubborn. THERE. I said it. I'm proud and stubborn. Sorry.

It could've been worse. I was thinking of giving you interchangable genitals.

Anyway...please make me feel better.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

some of us figured out the interchangable genitals thing on our own. no prob.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh...well you know that was my filthy mind working through you lot.
I gave you technology to make up for that program error. I like the way you use it...sometimes.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

which do You like better, Jesus Christ Superstar or Godspell?

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

does God really work in binary?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

dude, God, it's okay.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: Father, Son, Holy Ghost

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

God, where's that $20 you owe me? You said you'd have it last week. Maybe I should ask your kid. He's not as forgetful as you.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Since you're here, there's something I've been meaning to ask:

Which religion is the TRUE religion?

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I was thinking of giving you interchangable genitals.

this would've been a good idea. you're fired!

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

"which do You like better, Jesus Christ Superstar or Godspell?"

Fuck, that's the choice? Actually I like Hair better than either of them. And the Rocky Horror Show, that shit is wild! "Let's do the time-warp again" hahaha.

I like Jeremy Sisto. He's a clean young man.

Erm, I should stress musicals are a by-product of the error though....still they turn a negative into a positive!

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Erm, I should stress musicals are a by-product of the error though....still they turn a negative into a positive!

So are you coming out as anti-gay but pro-musical?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"Since you're here, there's something I've been meaning to ask:
Which religion is the TRUE religion?"

You know that Moon guy?
Hahaha only kidding, he's batshit.

Well Robert. The truth is they're all right.....and wrong.

Er, just praise me dude. You can't go wrong there.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

No problemo. Catch you later, buddy.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"So are you coming out as anti-gay but pro-musical?"

"I'm coming out! I want the world to know, got to let it show..."
oh man that's one of my best. Anyhoo what were we talking about..?
Oh yeah. No not at all Horace. Are you saying musicals is the only art gay people can produce? Dude, MICHAELANGELO. Just one example.

I only meant there to be 3000 of you at any one time so most sex was supposed to be up the ass anyway.
This procreation stuff....man have you twisted my intentions.
It's my fault though *sob*

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God,

Is Ghostface Killah really gay?

Your Humble Servant, JS

― js, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I only just noticed that '0' and '1' have a sort of yoni & lingam thing going on. Hey, God, what's with that?

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

For my birthday I want giant bat-wings and a tiger's tail. I want to be able to re-grow my teeth like a shark. I want my hair to glow like those deep sea fish. I'd also like claws and those extra eyelid things. Lemme know if you can help. Praise be unto you, etc...

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow God, you made the best thread evah.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Lord Thuindering Jesus, God you should know that not even you programs in 1 and 0s anymore. Just get yourself an opcode table and write in assembly.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm woindering what thuindering means.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

The extra "i"s are what make him all-seeing, I guess.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Makes sense.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, you're not fooling me. You do NOT praise me enough. Oh I know.
And you come on here and you're all like "oh best thread evah!".
Stop drinking so much, it is an affront to my vision.
And you have poor taste in music. Get into some older bands.

Everyone else, I like all of you, carry on the good work.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

God's victimising me!

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I do like some older bands! And I've not had a drink since Sunday!

I am an athiest.

This is a great thread though! Or it was, until I got told off by God.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael, I'm up to my limit of superheroes (oops shouldn't have revealed that). However I do know of an animal-fetish circle in Maryland you might like to join. Pray to me tonight and I'll send you a vision.

(yes you can do it after rumpo)

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I do like you really Nick. Especially when you shout out My Name during - well you know.

Contrary to what some'll tell you, I don't mind that at all.
In fact I count it as prayer so...you know, get on it.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Hands up who else is feeling a little scared?

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

does God really work in binary?

That would be Manicheaism, which is considered to be a heresy because (among other reasons?) it implies that Satan is as powerful as God. (You do prefer "God" to "G-d"?)

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

God, can you give me some tips on lottery numbers?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo, God, like not for superhero duties or anything but because I'm kinda bored. No offense or anything, Your Worshipfulness, but the whole creation thing is so...so predictable sometimes. Anyway, after the muddled, animalistic copulation I'll get down to prayin' and await the whole vision thing.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Sure Horace. What do you play?

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha! I don't play. You're not God at all, or you'd know that!

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Way to double cross the imposter, Hucklebunny!

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Shall we crucify then?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Just kidding. Pick a pet's birthday, an important date from the civil war, your pant size, and three random numbers from tv baseball matches.

You will win $50

Repaid with interest!

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

The English or American Civil War?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Although you owe ME for that remark

Your balls are going to ache like hell tonight mister.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Horace knows. He also knows what it's like to be speared through the crotch by a yankee bayonet.

Or he will soon anyway.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

j-lu I prefer to work in binary. I mean the problem with other programmming methods - well you'll find out soon. Oh man. You'll find out bad.

I'll leave you to your theological speculation.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

don't You think You should look into getting Your own domain? or is yahoo actually a nickname for YHWH?

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I think they're ALL His domains.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

master of, blah blah blah

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"don't You think You should look into getting Your own domain"

Think about this for a second.

Everything that exists is mine.

Everything humans create is my creation.

So.

Also the storage space is v.useful, I mean hotmail wtf?

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Sick in quicker-than-God shockah.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I bow down before you, Sick.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I bow down, sick before you.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

God, I think I love you. I'd like to help you with your second coming. I'm pure, virginal and immaculately conceptual. Sorta.

― penelope_111, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick.

I took millions of years to create you.

Perhaps I botched it, yes.

But still, I take my time.

I learnt from my original mistake.

Didn't I guys?

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Penelope, you can be useful.

I will send you a dream.

If you find anything when you awake, feed it.

(oh btw much suffering ahead yada yada)

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Dante?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Is rotting in a hellish dimension. Bit of purgatorio ha!
(He's alright though. He'ill be reunited with Beatrice in bliss soon.)

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought he just got his ass handed to him by someone (not Jesus)'s dad.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah. Nasty business that. He's back to perving in private now.
He will be useful to me one day though. Watch that kid! (For multiple reasons)

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I would think that God would use all caps!

PS - is Jon Seena still single?

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"baseball matches"

Well, we know God is British.

― Debito (Debito), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

"The ordinary Britisher imagines that God is an Englishman."

Bernard Shaw.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, we know God is British.

Ha, Debito, nice observation, especially since S/he seems to have worked really hard otherwise (in that very post) to disguise this fact... TV instead of telly, pant size instead of trouser size, and $50 instead of £50.

― David A. (Davant), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 03:52 (twenty-two years ago)

It may be blasphemous to say, but I think this explains a lot about why God is such a bitch sometimes. That said, She's hot as shit sometimes and I mean that.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

They go together, don't they?

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

What, British and being a deity?

― David A. (Davant), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

God, can you please tell Bush to fuck off? He'll listen to you, he thinks you exist.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Please, God.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 04:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you there God?

― It's Me, Margaret (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Orbit,

I prefer to believe that they come together. Call me Pollyanna-ish, I'm inured to it.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God

― Hope you got the letter and (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

"God, can you please tell Bush to fuck off? He'll listen to you, he thinks you exist."

We've had our little talks. I always do with the pres. So we know where we stand. On opposite sides usually.
This guy's an ornery critter though.
He's got some kind of sexual deviancy that ain't my work, I'm telling you. Erm, basically, you elected a guy who whacks off over pain and suffering to other humans. Oweee. I'm going to give you a bit of help though; everytime you see his face, or hear his voice, you'll get a powerful sensation of nausea and repulsion in your stomach; all your acids will go wild. Alongside this you'lll feel uncontrollable rage. It should help come November. Infact it should be working already.
Let me know about this one.

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 09:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"Well, we know God is British."

Heh, I kind of took a shine to them four centuries ago and I still sometimes find myself talking the lingo. Really change is quite taxing for me. But it's true, I don't follow baseball.

Incase you're wondering, God's a West Ham fan.

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 09:41 (twenty-two years ago)

It's been said that God Is A DJ so I was just wondering what tunes never leave your record box?

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Good question Steven. Worthy of Smash Hits. And before I ponder it, may I compliment myself on giving you such good taste. I'd just like to apologise for your forthcoming baldness, sorry dude. Incidentally when's your site up again?

God's Perernnials

1. Sam Cooke with the Soul Stirrers - "Nearer to thee"
2. Handel - "Israel in Egypt"
3. Mohammed Rahim Khushnawaz - "Rubab and Datar"
4. Body Count - "There Goes the Neighbourhood"
5. Elis Regina - "Elis"

God's current fave raves

1. Black Sabbath - "War Pigs"
2. Miles Davis - "On the Corner"
3. Percy Grainger - "Londonderry Air"
4. The Streets - "Fit but you know it"
5. Carla Bruni - "Quelqu'un M'a Dit"

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 10:34 (twenty-two years ago)

You listen to Percy Grainger, God? So all that flagellation must've been a holy penance on his part?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 10:44 (twenty-two years ago)

When you're out on the razz with Allah, Krishna and the Buddha, who's the most reluctant to get their round in?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

(this here God's got a conscience complex (which is a good thang), I tells ya)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God, I wrote you but you're still not calling. I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom. I sent two letters back in autumn - you must not have got them. It probably was a problem at the post office or something.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Which prompts me to another little apology, for Dido.
A good idea that went wrong imdo.

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God,

Is Ol Dirty Bastard *really* Big Baby Jesus?

Thanks,

― Dave M. (rotten03), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

In a sense, you all are.
ODB is 'the clown' part of the Godhead.

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i believe i recieved an urget email from the prime minister of ghana once
-- strongo hulkington

God knows what he wanted.
-- Barima

God!... God?...

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

He's taking his time.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

His n'Hers, Barima, His n'Hers!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

His n'Hers Matching, I should think.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Morning afternoon and evening chums.

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God, MadamSir, so that's what the the Prime Minister of Ghana meant, then!
The Prime Minister of Ghana sure does write in mysterious ways, doesn't he not?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Howdy, God. 'Ssup?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

God, tell that son of a bitch son of yours that he still owes me that coffee table. Honest J's Carpentry my ass

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Gear,

Be reasonable. He was 'unavoidably detained', was he not?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, like that Prime Minister of Ghana. Right.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"Dear God, MadamSir, so that's what the the Prime Minister of Ghana meant, then! The Prime Minister of Ghana sure does write in mysterious ways, doesn't he not?"

A bit like you my Baltic creation!

Private correspondence I cannot divulge. I think you'd like me to stick to that rule feller.

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Hello Michael.
You please me today.

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

xpost

true. he did seem a little "cross" when I last saw him.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

A bit like you my Baltic creation!

Erm, didn't You actually make me rather, like, Finno-Ugric?
8-0

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Making tables was one thing he wasn't infallible at...

Let's just say it was kind of ironic he died on a badly made wooden structure, ha! Payback of a sort from all those disgruntled Jewish householders!

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't split hairs dude.
Otherwise I'll split yours. With a thunderbolt.

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"And in tonight's weather forecast, Joe will tell us about the wave of fire and brimstone headed our way. But first..."

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God: Please tell me that Sister Claire is roasting on a spit these days?

Love, Luna

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Well I'm sorry to say she's not Luna. However she has gone through some pretty intense soul-searching for what she did, and somewhere inside she knows she's going to have to suffer for it, in this life or the next.
But then she's not unique in that.

― God, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God, is it true you were going to give Moses an eleventh commandment, specifically 'Thou shalt not try it'?

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 13 May 2004 09:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Because Marcello is having a crisis of faith.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 13 May 2004 09:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey God. Thanks for last night, btw. You know what I'm talking about...

Any-hoo, you said you were working in binary - 0's and 1's and all that. I think I see a pattern in your little family - what's up with this?

http://kotta.abso.net/pics/jesusjones.jpg

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 13 May 2004 09:09 (twenty-two years ago)

God, I had the dream and very nice it was too.

The only thing I found when I woke was a snoring, naked, half-wit who must have beer-goggled his way in to my crib during the night.

I fed it and fucked it out.

Did I do good?

― penelope_111, Thursday, 13 May 2004 09:23 (twenty-two years ago)

"fucked it out"?

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 13 May 2004 09:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Sent it merrily on its way.

My god, what do you take me for? I'm saving myself for the man.

― penelope_111, Thursday, 13 May 2004 09:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Penelope, I changed my mind. I think wisely. No offence.

Guys I'm going to be leaving you to your own devices today.
Pray hard. When I return bring back divine pie of wisdom.

Heh heh was that right?
Anyway, laters.

― God, Thursday, 13 May 2004 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Gutted!

I guess I'll just bin the blue flowy robe I bought then.

― penelope_111, Thursday, 13 May 2004 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God: Okay, I understand about the Sister Claire thing, after all, she does have that whole 'bride of christ' thing happening (incidentally, why have you let so many ugly women marry your son? you'd think, being God, you could hook him up, y'know?), but anyway, I'd also like to know, am I going to get laid anytime in the near future? If you can make it happen, I promise to bake you a pie.

Love, Luna

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 13 May 2004 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Luna, are you a female?

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 13 May 2004 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

"If you can make it happen, I promise to bake you a pie"

And take it down to the nearest homeless shelter of course.

I don't think your enforced period of abstinence is necessarily a bad thing Luna, taking everything into consideration. I mean sure, I could make it really easy, but do you really want to go through *that* again just for the sake of it? With *him*?

Check the tv listings, i think you'll find something of interest instead. For the next fortnight.

― God, Thursday, 13 May 2004 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Morning afternoon and evening, God!

Yer Sun today shines rather coldly upon us, y'kno, Balto-Ugrics here. Why, prey, Yer Sun so cold?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 14 May 2004 06:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Hello, God!

How are you? I expect most people only ever talk to you to have a moan about their own lives or ask for some divine intervention or something, and I bet they forget to ask how things are going for you. I hope you are well, and not too troubled by sciatica or anything. I'm popping out to the shops later today, so if you need anything please let me know.

Yr humble servant etc

C J

― C J (C J), Friday, 14 May 2004 07:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Well poop.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

As opposed to city water main poop?

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Buenos Dios, hahahah.

Sorry Your Stupendousness, I'm merely human. How's your day going?

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

City poop has fluoride in it, ew.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 14 May 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Your search - shit flavored toothpaste - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.
- Try fewer keywords.
Also, you can try Google Answers for expert help with your search.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God:

You're right, I'm thinking too much about me, and not enough about you. Would you like an apple?

Love, Luna

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you have a forked tongue and the ability to unhinge your jaw, Luna? 'Cause if you do we could start the Friday flirting again.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

A girl's got to have some secrets.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I won't tell.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm easy, but I ain't stupid.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Fair enough. As long as you're either not venomous or instantly lethal. His Awesomeness programmed me to loathe having to suffer.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I admit nothing.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

My Eternal Hour passes well. Hello everyone.
You know it really was a brainwave to get on the net and get to know all of you in person, rather than just squatting in your subconscious. I certainly designed an interesting bunch here.

Luna my blessed ones will certainly appreciate any apples you have.
Pay no mind to those who would interpret this as pernicious symbolism.
I wouldn't say you were selfish. Vain yes. But then that's an inbuilt recurring design flaw with beauty. My fault again *sigh*

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"A girl's got to have some secrets."

I won't tell.

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks, you're a peach!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Not that I'm looking for a divine smackdown, but why, Oh Merciful One, didn't you just erase and re-write when you saw the error?

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael get in touch with you-know-who.
This will you save one of your limbs.
One of the ones you use a lot.

I don't normally do this kind of thing.

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

The error, indeed the program, has power over me, Michael.

It's a long story.

Let's just say there are shareholders.

I've said too much.

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

OH NO GOD IS MICHAEL STIPE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Can't buy 'em out, eh?

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

No.

I'm afraid your brain would literally explode if I even started to relate a tiny part of it.

And that's a program feature designed to prevent your soul from being shredded first.

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Shredded soul tacos, mmmmmmm!

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm easy, but I ain't stupid.

Pointless flirting again. *sigh*

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

The error, indeed the program, has power over me, Michael.

Dear God,

ARE YOU KITT?????

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Friday, 14 May 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God:

The men I desire only want to be friends. What do you have to say for yourself on this?

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 14 May 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

When come back, bring sexing.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 14 May 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

God sexing=good.
Pie sexing=50%

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"The men I desire only want to be friends. What do you have to say for yourself on this?"

Some people have no friends j. I wouldn't use the word 'only'.

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do you people magnify my mistakes?
The Eurovision Song Contest?
Rub my Heavenly Visage in it why don't you.

I'm not a happy God today.

― God, Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it true that it isn't you who's got the best tunes, then?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God (which is the beginning of the weakest song on Skylarking, btw),

How come I wasn't born black?

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

All music praises me.

At least I've learnt to look at it that way

― God, Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

All music praises me.

Including black and death metal?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

You will be Jeremy

― God, Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. They're actually singing about Me.
Okay so they should actually be catching rats or filing corpses, but I must allow music its own power.

― God, Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

O God. What's this all about?

God to endorse Dan

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey God, you said I could borrow your lawn mower. That was TWO FUCKING WEEKS AGO. What up with that?

Oh, and you still have my Kenny Loggins CD. I bet you didn't even listen to it, ya stupid omnipotent bastard.

― Satan, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 08:07 (twenty-two years ago)

This is why I am so glad I moved out all those years ago.

― Satan, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 08:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Somehow I always suspected that Satan used Hotmail...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 08:50 (twenty-two years ago)

What else would he use?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Sweet Jesus, when will Kate Bush release another album?

Would Dear God answer this, please?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 23 May 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

My sessions with Kate have been going well. Er, she's rather demanding so I've had to get several very personalised muse spirits on this one (Please don't ask how this bureaucracy asks, as I said you do not have the requisite marbles). Multitracking her voice with the use of spiritual doppplegangers has been quite fun (and she don't get phased at all! what a gal!)
You'll be able to illegally download the finished product fairly soon now, before the United States invades another country infact.
Disclaimer: I do not endorse all of the outlandish theosophy in Kate's new album. Ahem; it's sort of necessary that I say that.

Yo Satan! Your crack's showin! Yeah the circles of hell! Belchin' fire too. Heh heh. Oh man.

― God, Sunday, 23 May 2004 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I want to give a shoutout to Pope Perry aka Pope Delicious I; you are righteous in my Mighty Gaze dude. Just try not to be so sick in the bedroom/living room ok? I have to watch that stuff.

― God, Sunday, 23 May 2004 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

'how this bureaucracy asks'

works. I'm not a pedantic deity

― God, Sunday, 23 May 2004 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God,

You mean 'fazed' not 'phased.'

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Sunday, 23 May 2004 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

ilx apocrypha ahoy?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 23 May 2004 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

...A-hem?

How do I know you all exist?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

How did God create the sky? --Mike Hanle y

How blue is the sky?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 29 May 2004 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

five years pass...

3. Mohammed Rahim Khushnawaz - "Rubab and Datar"

It's so so great.

― anatol_merklich, Saturday, 19 December 2009 00:32 (sixteen years ago)

I would like to request a dharma battle between God and a puppy. No pay-per-view, please.

― Aimless, Saturday, 19 December 2009 02:54 (sixteen years ago)

Mama I'm so sorry, I'm so obnoxious
I want that bacon treat in your pocket

― kenan, Saturday, 19 December 2009 02:57 (sixteen years ago)

Moderator Request: please move this thread to AAD.

― alter cocker jarvis cocker (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 19 December 2009 02:58 (sixteen years ago)

I still can't believe Leee killed God.

― Sean Carruthers, Saturday, 19 December 2009 16:01 (sixteen years ago)

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