ILX Mods plot Jon Williams death via hitman! [aka Bored Of The Flies 2004]

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This is filed under "mental health" and will probably be deleted:

let's hire a hitman to kill jon williams:

"All Style, No Substance"
massive f*ck-off image

..and redefining 'enormous' on
How are they going to end ILX?

I will match every dollar raised with one towards a hitman.

-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), June 22nd, 2004 3:57 PM. (afarrell) (tracklink) (later)

Remember that pot we have for collecting money for a hit man? Can I contribute about £1000, please?
-- People love Gravity and Evolution! (masonicboo...), June 23rd, 2004 9:26 AM. (kate) (later)

Well a ferry ride to Rochester is $55, we could outfit Sean in a trenchcoat for another $50...
-- Mr Noodles (infinitecow...), June 23rd, 2004 11:22 AM. (Mr Noodles) (later)

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:18 (twenty years ago)

KILL ALL NOIZE DUDEZ!!!

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:20 (twenty years ago)

Online death threats: C/D

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:21 (twenty years ago)

that is really uncool.

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:21 (twenty years ago)

He should be killed by a European hitman.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:22 (twenty years ago)

I bet hstencil takes the bullet.

St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:23 (twenty years ago)

WE ARE LOOKING INTO THE ABYSS

JW, do you have a lawyer? Maybe Tad can offer some consultation (phlbt).

Pitchfork headline tomorrow:
ILM Mods Offer Retraction to Noize Dude

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:24 (twenty years ago)

What's wrong with a little contract killing among friends? What a bunch of whiners.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:25 (twenty years ago)

NA quit being a dick.

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:26 (twenty years ago)

You first.

St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:26 (twenty years ago)

http://www.kompas.uz/issues/6-2002/images/hitman.jpg

AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:26 (twenty years ago)

nicole otm

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:27 (twenty years ago)

OMG Nicole! HAHAHAHAHA!

"Me and Slim, we take hits out on each other all the time! Our relationship is just like that, you know? Beers one day, sniper rifles the next."

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:27 (twenty years ago)

Just for the record, I have no intention of killing one J Williams. I will, however, continue to kill off any stupid-ass embedded files he throws onto ILX threads.

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:28 (twenty years ago)

how about we joke about how I'll kill NA for free? Is that funny? No? Okay, so let's drop it and stop saying such shit about each other.

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:29 (twenty years ago)

KILLFILE JW 2004: THE APOCALYPSE

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:29 (twenty years ago)

I mean jesus christ people freak about Huk-El inadvertantly wishing death on a celebrity he doesn't know, but it's all fun-and-games when its talk about killing a guy WHOSE IMAGES YOU CAN TURN OFF.

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:30 (twenty years ago)

<marquee>

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:30 (twenty years ago)

<blink>

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:30 (twenty years ago)

<font face="@0lsCr1pTk1dDiez>

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:31 (twenty years ago)

i don't know anybody who hasn't talked about killing jon at some point. He welcomes it.

Ade (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:33 (twenty years ago)

whatever. it makes sense to me. jw is the only annoying person on ilx, after all.

lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:34 (twenty years ago)

"we need... a common enemy..."

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:35 (twenty years ago)

I reckon that mind control experts are trying to make us all kill each other, leaving a working gaia to be repopulated anew by their genetically advanced progeny. Now they are expanding their programme and the Jon Williams and Excelsior! book threads are just the first signs of our impending demise.

In the post-Apocalyptic world I call oversized wrench as my weapon of choice.

Gribowitz (Lynskey), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:36 (twenty years ago)

hstencil NOTM

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:37 (twenty years ago)

yes, we should all kill the people we don't like. That's a spectacular policy for life. Vote Dubya, '04.

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:38 (twenty years ago)

ts: ALIVE vs. LORD OF THE FLIES

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:39 (twenty years ago)

http://www.berghuis.co.nz/abiator/pick/lotf/lotfmap.jpg

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:39 (twenty years ago)

kiss alive?

Ian c=====8 (orion), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:40 (twenty years ago)

If someone published a book of "Jon threads," I would definitely buy one.

deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:44 (twenty years ago)

(he's more entertaining than some made up 'analing' story anyhow)

deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:44 (twenty years ago)

It would be an orange translucent EP of his words read over the strains of Chippendale's crazy drums.

j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:45 (twenty years ago)

Maybe it's like Junior High and you only want to kill him because you luuuv him

Laura E (laurae55), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:46 (twenty years ago)

He's so dreeeeeamy

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:51 (twenty years ago)

He's the Dawson Leery of ilx.

Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:53 (twenty years ago)

God, what is happening on ilx today? Have all the posters' periods aligned or some shit?

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:53 (twenty years ago)

We will drown him in our own menstrual blood.

St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:55 (twenty years ago)

b-b-b-but he might welcome that!

mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:59 (twenty years ago)

it's a moral morass today.

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 20:59 (twenty years ago)

actually it's just more ass

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:02 (twenty years ago)

Strongo otm.

Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:03 (twenty years ago)

Too bad it's not mo'(o)ral.

Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:34 (twenty years ago)

jon says "get a life."

Ian c=====8 (orion), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:53 (twenty years ago)

Shut up and get to posting mpegs.

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 21:55 (twenty years ago)

get one life

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 22:26 (twenty years ago)

I don't have any issues with JW. Yet. Though I don't know that much about him as a human being (vs. a collection of little anecdotes) and I'm about 85% sure he'd be more than happy to keep that arms' distance, "we only post on the same forum" type non-interactivity up. Ok, 90% sure. 91. There. Good enough.

Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 23 June 2004 22:33 (twenty years ago)

I reckon that mind control experts are trying to make us all kill each other, leaving a working gaia to be repopulated anew by their genetically advanced progeny. Now they are expanding their programme and the Jon Williams and Excelsior! book threads are just the first signs of our impending demise.

ILX Reloaded!
http://www.thai.net/pichate1964/matrixtrilogy02.jpg

Girolamo Savonarola, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 23:17 (twenty years ago)

We can just hire Howie Long and be done with it.

http://photos.friendster.com/photos/90/38/6718309/4529312642574l.jpg

Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 24 June 2004 02:23 (twenty years ago)

http://users.wpi.edu/~wcoppock/jonwtc.jpg

JON HAS D3FENS3ZZZZZZ

Ian c=====8 (orion), Thursday, 24 June 2004 02:30 (twenty years ago)

Jon can't be killed he is OMNIPOTENT.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 24 June 2004 05:48 (twenty years ago)

Last time I checked, I wasn't a moderator...am I one now? ROCK ON!!!

**cue massive reign of destruction::

People love Gravity and Evolution! (kate), Thursday, 24 June 2004 06:06 (twenty years ago)

why are you such a cockfarmer suddenly?

People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Thursday, 24 June 2004 12:47 (twenty years ago)

Tis the season where cocks peek their heads out of the soil to be gently raked and watered by farmers.

People love gravy and evilution (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 24 June 2004 12:50 (twenty years ago)

Bringin' in a giant crop this year....

Matt (Matt), Thursday, 24 June 2004 12:51 (twenty years ago)

It's monster sized.

People wuv gravy and evilution (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 24 June 2004 12:56 (twenty years ago)

Damned GM cocks.

Matt (Matt), Thursday, 24 June 2004 12:56 (twenty years ago)

I'm buying a scythe.

Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Thursday, 24 June 2004 12:57 (twenty years ago)

COMBINE COCK-HARVESTER!

Matt (Matt), Thursday, 24 June 2004 12:57 (twenty years ago)

http://images-jp.amazon.com/images/P/0316358525.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Thursday, 24 June 2004 12:58 (twenty years ago)

Bring a chainsaw instead. A nice husqvarna will do.

Peepholes wub gravy and evilution (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 24 June 2004 12:59 (twenty years ago)

http://home.gci.net/~sajohnson/akddr/unaspammer.jpg
^ ilx mods

People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Thursday, 24 June 2004 13:00 (twenty years ago)

I'm a mod to some degree and I have no interest in this plot. I like Jon.

Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 24 June 2004 13:00 (twenty years ago)

http://home.gci.net/~sajohnson/akddr/promphoto60.jpg

People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Thursday, 24 June 2004 13:00 (twenty years ago)

http://www.btinternet.com/~roads/signs/cockfosters.jpg

Peepholes rub gravy an evilution (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 24 June 2004 13:04 (twenty years ago)

http://www.psyche-hq.de/gallery/sweden-2000/trance.jpg

People love Gravity and Ebullition! (ex machina), Thursday, 24 June 2004 13:05 (twenty years ago)

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Fairlight.

Peepholes rub gravy an evil (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 24 June 2004 13:07 (twenty years ago)

hahaha WTF?

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 28 June 2004 22:09 (twenty years ago)

three weeks pass...
Basically Jon Williams has ruined ILX for a number of regular users, some of whom have now left. Whenever he is asked not to post countless huge images on a thread - or at least confine them to his own hilarious 'frat house' - he responds with insults and sarcasm. He shows no consideration for the other posters on this board, some of whom have been visiting ILX for a lot longer than he has. All this is in addition to the countless homophobic insults that Williams hurls at anyone who happens to like anything he considers 'faggoty'.
So in return, a number of us have decided to fuck up things for Jon Williams as much as we can. He deserves everything he gets.

ps I am a regular posting from a different computer than my normal one - you can ban this IP address or whatever, I won't be on this machine for much longer

-- GFGDF (DFGDF...), July 22nd, 2004 9:01 AM. (later)

gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:07 (twenty years ago)

Would it be fair to call this the "old-ILX European Faggot Insurgency"?

I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:11 (twenty years ago)

homocoup

j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:14 (twenty years ago)

this whole thing is tedious and tiresome. Nice threat here, too:

"He deserves everything he gets."

Some people need to step away from the computer, take a deep breath, and go outside (I'm gonna do the same in about a half-hour).

hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:16 (twenty years ago)

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2004/WORLD/meast/07/22/iraq.hostages/story.hostages.ap.jpg

I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:16 (twenty years ago)

Thank you GFGDF for reminding me of why I fucking hate this board. Jesus Christ.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:17 (twenty years ago)

HI DERE HOP EVERYOEN OKYA

Amazing Randy (Amazing Randy), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:22 (twenty years ago)

caitlin avoid Jon Williams he is a moron and a creep

-- dfdfsdf (gdfgdf...) (webmail), July 21st, 2004 11:07 AM. (later) (link)

-- gddfgd@dgg (ggdfgdf...), July 22nd, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- dgdgdf (gdfgd...), July 22nd, 2004.

-- dfgd (dgdg...), July 22nd, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

dfgdfgdfgd, Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:23 (twenty years ago)

what is going on? why is every other thread about jon williams?

amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:29 (twenty years ago)

jon, please post more about personal problems, cooking, interior decorating, favorite tv shows and work related angst. please place a pod next to you when you go to sleep tonight for assimilation.

jack cole (jackcole), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:29 (twenty years ago)

I LIEK INTERPOL

I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:31 (twenty years ago)

i predict that within eight months this board will have sunk to the level of the discussion now surrounding mr. williams, who cannot quite be blamed for this.

amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:36 (twenty years ago)

also half of the threads will be pitches for romanian-made salad shakers.

amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:37 (twenty years ago)

Back in the misty memories of 1999 I told Jon that I'd get his back in a (possibly pending) fight with a rail-thin Hemingway devotee with a severe Napoleonic complex. Jon's ex-, a blonde would-be bombshell and opera singer, overheard and told the rail-thin Hemingway devotee. He was furious, threw a tantrum and proved himself not of Hemingway mettle (nor Napoleon, railworker or any other mettle / metal) and asked his 6'2" bull-lesbian friend to kick my ass. She came over to me and rammed my head into a telephone pole on Thayer St. in Providence and screamed at me while I was being slowly impaled on a staple holding an Amazing Royal Crowns poster. So please don't fuck around with Jon or I'll end up piked again.

j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:48 (twenty years ago)

*sniff* it's not fair...just cos he's different...(*parp*)

the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:53 (twenty years ago)

Different is bad. Talk about collecting wine is good.

jack cole (jackcole), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:55 (twenty years ago)

"GIRLS THINK HE'S TOO MACHO"

I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:57 (twenty years ago)

i guess Jonfest ILX (again, not blaming jon solely) annoy me because this loose agglomeration of posters rarely seem to do anything besides (a) talk/make jokes about themselves; (b) post non-sequitirs or near-non-sequitirs; (c) post large pictures; (d) post offensive remarks which seem to abuse irony for the purpose of shock; (e) talk/make jokes about any of the above. i do these things too, but not in exclusion of other things. or so i'd like to think.

amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:59 (twenty years ago)

terribly appropriate xpost

amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:00 (twenty years ago)

Wait, so you hate my friends but not the trolls?

I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:00 (twenty years ago)

see also:

for some reason i'm usually unwilling to think of such incidents as evidence of a trend, perhaps as a counter to the tendency to overreaction in the media and (much worse) on the part of jewish groups like the ADL. my explanation is usually: anti-semitism seems to rile people, and as such it seems to be the preferred mode of antisocial pranksters with little but riling in mind.
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2004 9:52 AM. (amateurist) (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want my ROVO cd.
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2004 9:56 AM. (ex machina) (later) (link)

amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:01 (twenty years ago)

(That was a reference to my post upthread, but yeah)

I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:01 (twenty years ago)

jon i don't "hate" anything.

i am annoyed by the whole "let's talk about jon williams" phenomenon, whether propagated by trolls/JW/friends of JW. i don't even know who is who any more, frankly.

amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:01 (twenty years ago)

all the threads are trolls i wager

I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:02 (twenty years ago)

xpost - it's not friends of his that are doing it, amateur!st.

hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:02 (twenty years ago)

probably, except i see this "I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE" handle popping up a lot.

amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:02 (twenty years ago)

Hey Jon, you have your own board now - I'm sure people who like you will find their way over there. Go now, do.

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:03 (twenty years ago)

"Mom, Jon is bothering me."

jack cole (jackcole), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:07 (twenty years ago)

jack cole, have you ever contributed anything to this board other than rancid sarcasm?

plastic man, Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:08 (twenty years ago)

MODERATORS CAN WE HAVE OBLIGATORY REGISTRATION OKTHXBYE

Incidentally, trolls, explain how it makes you happy to ruin things for strangers?

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:10 (twenty years ago)

http://www.primechoice.com/philosophy/shelp/images/jihad.jpg

gwilx (ex machina), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:11 (twenty years ago)

where is K.ATE today....

gwilx (ex machina), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:13 (twenty years ago)

eating?

dean? (deangulberry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:14 (twenty years ago)

Sticks. Pls remove from asses. Thx k bye.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:16 (twenty years ago)

Dear Mr. or Miss or Mrs. or Ms. Anonymous Troll:

Thanks for asking your question! To answer your fascinating inquiry, why yes I have contributed non-sarchastic posts! Then again, I don't post as much as a lot of people so my overall contributions aren't that many anyway. God bless you for your interest!

jack cole (jackcole), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:16 (twenty years ago)

jack cole has contributed quite wonderfully intentionally awful poetry.

hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 22 July 2004 16:18 (twenty years ago)

since i'm new here, i don't quite know what's going on! is jon ruining the internet with his irrelevant/offensive all-caps posts and huge pictures of nothing? or is he just hated because he's a moron and a creep? both?

caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 22 July 2004 17:09 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...
i am never acting on anything that jon asks for ever again. he is a nasty little shit. jon, fuck off to another site please as promised

-- Britain's Jauntiest Shepherd (AlanTrewarth...) (webmail), August 26th, 2005 4:18 PM. (Alan) (later) (link)

I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (ex machina), Saturday, 27 August 2005 03:46 (nineteen years ago)

...are you not a nasty little shit, then? rebut.

mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:02 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not denying it but he is just MAD that I don't genuflect to the admins for being reasonable deeply enough.

I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (ex machina), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:03 (nineteen years ago)

you don't genuflect, you provoke--it should hardly be a surprise that people react with distaste. as you are well aware and probably hoping for. you needn't play the martyr

mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:07 (nineteen years ago)

Oh eat a dick, fucking playa-hatin' sock-fucking tinselass.

I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (ex machina), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:11 (nineteen years ago)

haha solid

mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:12 (nineteen years ago)

the question is--is Jon CAPABLE of NOT being a nasty little shit? do we hate the snake for its nature?

Logged_Out, Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:16 (nineteen years ago)

Are people who hate me capable of owning up to their actions?

I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (ex machina), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:20 (nineteen years ago)

WHat about people who want to stalk you? =D

HI DERE (trayce), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:25 (nineteen years ago)

Jon (Greek Παν, genitive Πανος) is the Greek god who watches over shepherds and their flocks. He has the hindquarters, legs, and horns of a goat, in the same manner as a satyr, and is one of the deities within the archetype of the Horned God. His parentage is unclear; in some legends he is the son of Zeus and in some he is the son of Hermes. His mother is said to be a nymph. His nature and name is alluring, particularly since often his name is mistakenly thought to be identical to the Greek word Jon, meaning "all," when in fact the name of the god is derived from the word pa-on, which means "herdsman" and shares its prefix with the modern English word "pasture." In many ways he seems to be identical to Protogonus/Phanes.

Probably the beginning of the linguistic misunderstanding is the Homeric hymn to Jon, which describes him as delighting all the gods, and thus getting his name. The Roman counterpart to Jon is Faunus, (see below), another version of his name, which is at least Indo-European. But accounts of Jon's genealogy are so varied that it must lie buried deep in mythic time. Like other nature spirits, Jon appears to be older than the Olympians, if it is true that he gave Artemis her hunting dogs and taught the secret of prophecy to Apollo.

Jon was originally an Arcadian god, and Arcadia was always the principal seat of his worship. Arcadia was a district of primitive mountain folk, whom other Greeks disdained, as the Olympians patronized Jon. Arcadian hunters used to scourge the statue of the god if they had been disappointed in the chase (Theocritus. vii. 107)

Jon inspired sudden fear in lonely places, Panic fear (panikon deima)

One of the famous legends of Jon involves the origin of his trademark Jon pipes. Syrinx was a beautiful nymph beloved by the satyrs and other wood dwellers. She scorned them all. As she was returning from the hunt one day, Jon met her. She ran away and didn't stop to hear his compliments, and he pursued until she came to the bank of a river where he overtook her. She had only time to call on the water nymphs for help. Just as Jon laid hands on her, she was turned into the river reeds. When the air blew through the reeds, it produced a plaintive melody. The god took some of the reeds to make an instrument which he called a syrinx, in honor of the nymph.

Echo was a nymph who was a great singer and dancer and scorned the love of any man. This angered Jon, a lecherous god, and he instructed his followers to kill her. Echo was torn to pieces and spread all over earth. The goddess of the earth, Gaia, received the pieces of Echo, whose voice remains repeating the last words of others. In some versions, Echo and Jon first had one child: Iambe.

Jon also loved a nymph named Pitys, who was turned into a pine tree to escape him.

Jon is famous for his sexual prowess, and is often depicted with an erect priapus. He was believed by the Greeks to have plied his charms primarily on maidens and shepherds, such as Daphnis. Though he failed with Syrinx and Pithys, Jon didn't fail with the Maenads—he had every one of them, in one orgiastic riot or another. To effect this, Jon was sometimes multiplied into a whole tribe of Panes.

Once Jon had the audacity to compare his music with that of Apollo, and to challenge Apollo, the god of the lyre, to a trial of skill. Tmolus, the mountain-god, was chosen to umpire. Jon blew on his pipes, and with his rustic melody gave great satisfaction to himself and his faithful follower, Midas, who happened to be present. Then Apollo struck the strings of his lyre. Tmolus at once awarded the victory to Apollo, and all but Midas agreed with the judgment. He dissented, and questioned the justice of the award. Apollo would not suffer such a depraved pair of ears any longer, and caused them to become the ears of a donkey.

King Midas was mortified at this mishap. But he attempted to hide his misfortune with an ample turban or headdress. But his hairdresser of course knew the secret. He was told not to mention it. He could not keep the secret; so he went out into the meadow, dug a hole in the ground, whispered the story into it, and covered the hole up. A thick bed of reeds sprang up in the meadow, and began whispering the story and saying "King Midas has an ass' ears."

It is likely that the demonized images of the incubus and even the horns and cloven hooves of Satan, as depicted in much Christian literature and art, were taken from the images of the highly sexual Jon.

If one believes Greek historian Plutarch (in "The Obsolescence of Oracles" (Moralia, Book 5:17)), Jon is the only Greek god who is dead. During the reign of Tiberius (A.D. 14-37), the news of Jon's death came to one Thamus, a sailor on his way to Italy by way of the island of Paxi. A divine voice hailed him across the salt water, "Thamus, are you there? When you reach Palodes, take care to proclaim that the great god Jon is dead." Which Thamus did, and the news was greeted from shore with groans and laments.

Robert Graves (The Greek Myths) suggested that the Egyptian Thamus apparently misheard Thamus Jon-megas Tethnece ('the all-great Tammuz is dead') for 'Thamus, Great Jon is dead!' Certainly, when Pausanias toured Greece about a century after Plutarch, he found Jon's shrines, sacred caves and sacred mountains still very much frequented.

Despite the declaration of his death, however, Jon is widely worshiped by Neopagans and Wiccans today, where he is considered a powerful God and an archetype of male virility and sexuality. HA!

Jon makes a guest appearance in The Wind in the Willows.

mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:26 (nineteen years ago)

The only people I have a problem with on the internet:

1) People who are anonymous wusses.
2) People who talk about posting nakies and don't.

Alec in NYC (ex machina), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:28 (nineteen years ago)

only a nasty little shit would suggest getting rid of spam! jon u so evil!

j blount (papa la bas), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:28 (nineteen years ago)

cue hstencil complaining about impersonation

mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:31 (nineteen years ago)

I was kinda harsh on the coders when I threatened to leave and I understand that there is a hesitation to make changes as none of them actually feels that they personally "own" ilx/the code.

Alec in NYC (ex machina), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:31 (nineteen years ago)

xpost

cue some anonymous fuck

Alec in NYC (ex machina), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:31 (nineteen years ago)

I was kinda harsh on the coders when I threatened to leave

haha SO harsh

mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:34 (nineteen years ago)

(sniffle) PLEASE DON'T GO!

mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:35 (nineteen years ago)

I don't even know who you are.

Alec in NYC (ex machina), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:37 (nineteen years ago)

This thread is amusing. But only for obvious reasons.

Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:38 (nineteen years ago)

People who talk about posting nakies and don't.

Hey, that better not be aimed at me dammit, I said I'd show my boobs, not anything else damn you ;P

Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:54 (nineteen years ago)

Well, you could just ... show me....

Alec in NYC (ex machina), Saturday, 27 August 2005 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

Pffft. ;P

Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 27 August 2005 05:10 (nineteen years ago)

Jon, I no longer agree with you.

100% JUICE, Saturday, 27 August 2005 05:24 (nineteen years ago)

often depicted with an erect priapus.

what an odd way to put it

kingfish 'doublescoop' moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Saturday, 27 August 2005 05:40 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.eyecandyforthebrokenhearted.com/hbo.gif

Oh Lord, My God, is there no help for the widow's son? / Kate (papa november), Saturday, 27 August 2005 06:09 (nineteen years ago)

and then they'll let Mr. Whitefolks talk again...

kingfish 'doublescoop' moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Saturday, 27 August 2005 06:13 (nineteen years ago)

Hahaha.. ."scallywhops" what the?

Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 27 August 2005 06:13 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.gubbish.org/penix.gif

the food has a top snake of 1 (ex machina), Saturday, 27 August 2005 06:16 (nineteen years ago)

is that john hartson?

cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 27 August 2005 12:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://mugsy5500.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/jon.gif

gear (gear), Saturday, 27 August 2005 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

wau

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 30 July 2007 08:28 (seventeen years ago)

No more ferry service to Rochester.

Mr Noodles, Monday, 30 July 2007 19:46 (seventeen years ago)

so noodles married someone he met on ilx?

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, 5 August 2007 02:08 (seventeen years ago)

ferry service died some time ago, no?

tehresa, Sunday, 5 August 2007 03:46 (seventeen years ago)

Paul killed Jon and replaced him with a ringer, duh.

libcrypt, Sunday, 5 August 2007 03:50 (seventeen years ago)

"I BURIED PAULGYGAX"

haitch, Sunday, 5 August 2007 14:42 (seventeen years ago)

four months pass...

Weird thread.

Dom Passantino, Thursday, 3 January 2008 14:13 (seventeen years ago)

very

sunny successor, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:35 (seventeen years ago)

I don't have any issues with JW. Yet. Though I don't know that much about him as a human being (vs. a collection of little anecdotes) and I'm about 85% sure he'd be more than happy to keep that arms' distance, "we only post on the same forum" type non-interactivity up. Ok, 90% sure. 91. There. Good enough.
-- Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, June 23, 2004 6:33 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:38 (seventeen years ago)

she was pretty f'd

chaki, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:40 (seventeen years ago)

or lack of f'd

chaki, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:40 (seventeen years ago)

Wonder if there any other groups of society Dee would have liked to keep at "arm's length"?

Dom Passantino, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:42 (seventeen years ago)

Same holds from the same hands.
Five years strong, many times over and gone.
It's everything that I have to beat bridges much stronger and wide.
Fewer and farther between we meet again.
I'll try to well on my own.
Distance between's never been this far.
I realize that this time was something that I always knew,
only a fool wouldn't see.
Might as well start my drinking days now if I'm really alone.
It's tempting.
Am I asking too much to keep you at arms length?
Am I asking too much to keep you at home?
Please don't go.
I know it's all gonna be fine
And I know that this is whats right.

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:09 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

Where is Jon these days? Did I miss some sort of serious ban?

gooder dan a mug, lol (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 4 March 2009 23:13 (sixteen years ago)

i think so. i missed it, too. sure he's doing fine

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Wednesday, 4 March 2009 23:16 (sixteen years ago)

i guess he 'hacked' ilx and was banned as a consequence

i'm not going to pay a lot for this muffler (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 4 March 2009 23:20 (sixteen years ago)

doin' "lights" for 3xc3pt3r, terraforming, etc.

Fox Force Five Punchline (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 4 March 2009 23:23 (sixteen years ago)

jon was murdered.

Let's Keep This Jam Casual (jeff), Wednesday, 4 March 2009 23:56 (sixteen years ago)

jon is fine

cutty, Thursday, 5 March 2009 00:02 (sixteen years ago)

suggest unban

Dan I., Thursday, 5 March 2009 01:35 (sixteen years ago)

he's not dying to come back

cutty, Thursday, 5 March 2009 01:39 (sixteen years ago)

He's not dying to, but I'm sure he would if allowed.

I just alerted him that he's being discussed.

kenan, Thursday, 5 March 2009 01:48 (sixteen years ago)

you should've just called drudge, dude.

lady burt stanton (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Thursday, 5 March 2009 02:08 (sixteen years ago)

I just assume 25% of ILX is Jon in disguise. Preemptive paranoia is better than being ninja'd yo

bacon = bad for the face + magic for the moobs (Mackro Mackro), Thursday, 5 March 2009 03:48 (sixteen years ago)

jon's fine. i think he might have moved on after his ban? never know, though.

yur twit (tehresa), Thursday, 5 March 2009 03:55 (sixteen years ago)

i heard he cries about it every day

lady burt stanton (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Thursday, 5 March 2009 04:00 (sixteen years ago)


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