How Do You Discreetly & Politely Tell Someone that their Underarm Deodorant (or, more likely, their complete lack thereof) is in Swift Need of a Reappraisal?

I do not weild this sort've power.

Firstly, you can't do it, you have to have a woman do it. Is there anyone you can sucker into it?

They're all wimps about it.

xpost

Hopefully, she can draw her own conclusions.

No offense Alex ;P I mean I know some people can honk. But it isnt your place to say anything, really... she might not be able to help it (some people honestly cant).

Heh. It's not just me who feels this way, by the way (i.e. this isn't just grouchy Alex in NYC screaming at the world). There's five of us in here, and we all notice it.

Telling someone the truth, particularly diplomatically, is actually a way of showing respect: "If I didn't think you were a mature, sensible person, I don't know how I would deal with this subject. But since I do respect you, I feel confident that what I'm about to say won't be taken the wrong way..."

I suppose I'm just not overly keen on the idea of office-dwellers ever complaining (even privately) about the odor of someone who does manual labor.

xxxxpost

you have not met my co-workers, obv.

ROFFLE

Hang a bunch of those scented pine-tree things from her brooms!

Good fucking night.

This seems like a particularly Australian solution. Nice and direct -I like it.

As for the poor cleaning lady - buy her a bunch of flowers Alex. Or what Tom said.

I think people are being a bit unfair towards Alex here.

Plus, y'know, how much time does she actually spend in your office of a day? Give her a break, she does a manual job.

Anyway, it doesn't have anything to do with doing tons of labor, actually, unless she never, ever showers or washes her clothes. Even if you go run 6 miles, you're not going to be FOUL FOUL FOUL if you showered that morning and put on fresh clothes, unless you have a medical problem.

There may be good reasons for the smell, alternatively there may not be good reasons, I think this thread has been done about co-workers numerous times and noone's said anything like "maybe they have a condition".

xpost

(for the record, i think oops had the best suggestion)

Or you could be artistic and stick a thousand airwicks on the walls.

This has nothing to do with 'poverty' - jeezus. There are some filthy rich people who smell awful. Unless she's stinking up the office, and it's not a five-minute inconvenience, it's hardly a tragedy, though.

I might Smell Like Teen Spirit but I sound so Eighties.

whoa, xpost.

Nickalicious' suggestions are hilarious.

xxpost

x-post - it wouldn't have to have anything to do with genetics for heaven's sake.

But the real answer, I don't know. If proven by science...how proven by science. And like you said, re: the smelling bad being a bad thing, who decides? I think smells have more to do with culture than income, but those can be bound up together.

xpost

I'm so, so tired of this shit. Alex, you can just go fuck yourself.

Good morning, Tom.

You really honestly don't have even the monocellular beginnings of a leg to stand on here, and I've never found you particularly amusing to begin with.

Well, personally speaking, I've always found you more "scary" than "amusing," so I guess that makes us even. Have you never been bothered by someone else's disregard for hygene, regardless of their staion in life? If you say "no," then you're simply telling a lie.

Would still like to meet you someday IRL but frankly it's about time I made my peace with your online persona: You're a fucking bourgeoisie prat, a punk rocker in a lincoln town car,

Dont' own a car, thanks...only got a license this year. Can't afford parking anyway, but thanks for the thought.

a manhattan press affiliate with a tax-free penis (as long as you only use it for slapping poor people in the face).

Ya lost me on the tax-free penis part. As far as I'm aware, I'm not taxed because of my reproductive organs, but then again, neither are you.

Good fucking night.

Take a pill.

My point is that her particular job in this case has nothing to do with the debate. And NO, she doesn't do any heavy lifting. Moreover, the office is air-conditioned like a fuckin' meat locker. I'm sure if I had simply said "someone in my office" as opposed to pointing out her exact title, this thread's tone would be decidedly different.

She's about twenty years my senior, and I'm married, but not a bad suggestion otherwise.

(er...x-post, I mean)

People in subways smell bad sometimes cos it's frigging impossible to keep yourself unsweaty and clean in this city. If your apartment is not A/C-free, then the subway station is. If the subway station is operating some wind tunnel torrent that mimics the world's most violent A/C, then it's the subway car itself with no A/C. If you manage to miss all that, then just walking the hell around is going to do you in half the time.

That being said, I never smell bad and most of my friends don't so maybe some of these people are just skimping on the hygene, or they have a problem.

The thing is, yeah, Alex, you can't do anything about this. The best suggestion on the thread so far is to have an "office gift" for her over the holidays that consists of like a big basket from Bath & Body Works or something, and see if that helps.

One of my best friends from college has serrious halitosis. He could eat a fuckin' mountain of breath mints, and his mouth would still smell like the Hudson River...and you can smell it from across the room.

Yeah, but who cares about her?

KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!

I spelled bourgeousie correctly, though.

Indeed you did. It's a tough one. I actually know a guy whose last name is "Bourgeous". He gets a lot of flak for that.

No worries.

(several xposts - about 50, I guess)

I don't know, I kind of think Alex lost the plot when he said "And she's invariably paid more than i am." Alex is on less than minimum wage?
My point is that her particular job in this case has nothing to do with the debate.

Then why the fuck did you bring it up? I notice you missed out the other part of what I said, about how much time she actually spent in the office with you, but jumped on other people talking about folk with B.O. in the subway. How much time do you spend with them? Why is this thread not called "Fuck me, people in NYC stink like rank cunts"? The whole point in what has been the 'anti' Alex argument has been "lump it, you don't have to like it". If you can do it on the subway, why is it so hard in work?

And NO, she doesn't do any heavy lifting. You know this for a fact?

Moreover, the office is air-conditioned like a fuckin' meat locker. OK, if this is in fact true (and noting Alex's penchant for exaggeration it's in doubt) then how the fuck can you smell anything? Once it gets below 10 degrees centigrade my nose packs up in terms of olfactory sensation, in common with most caucasians.

I'm sure if I had simply said "someone in my office" as opposed to pointing out her exact title, this thread's tone would be decidedly different. Yes, because you would be spending all day with them, and we would assume have some kind of relationship (open quotes close quotes) with them in which any suugestions (such as "just tell them") might apply.

I note you still haven't confirmed you are on less than minimum pay. We, in Britain, know it exists over there because we only re-introduced it a couple of years ago. Or can you prove she is on a better salary than you(pro rata).

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), September 16th, 2004.

I'm sorry. I can't let this pass. It's "bourgeois" and "bourgeoisie."

[scurries back to nook]

Because other people brought it up first, and I was responding. The staff here, from what I understand, are very well taken care of -- and sure as shit have greater job security than I do.

I notice you missed out the other part of what I said, about how much time she actually spent in the office with you

She's here every day I am, and I'm here four days a week.

And NO, she doesn't do any heavy lifting. You know this for a fact?

Yes. She sweeps up, polishes phones, tidies up and empties plastic trash containers. She's also very thorough, i should add in her defense.

Moreover, the office is air-conditioned like a fuckin' meat locker. OK, if this is in fact true (and noting Alex's penchant for exaggeration it's in doubt) then how the fuck can you smell anything? Once it gets below 10 degrees centigrade my nose packs up in terms of olfactory sensation, in common with most caucasians.

I'm not exaggerating here. Our managing editor loves a cold office (`cos it keeps us awake or on our toes? I don't know). But seriously....it can be 80 degrees outside, and you need a fuckin' sweater in here. Despite this, you can STILL smell this poor woman's glands at work.

I'm sure if I had simply said "someone in my office" as opposed to pointing out her exact title, this thread's tone would be decidedly different. Yes, because you would be spending all day with them, and we would assume have some kind of relationship (open quotes close quotes) with them in which any suugestions (such as "just tell them") might apply.

I don't spend "all day" with her because I DON'T WORK A DAY SHIFT, I work late nights and overnights, the same as she does, apparently. Beyond that, I'm quite sure she makes more than minimum wage. My point was more of a statement about how shitty my department is paid.

She's here every day I am, and I'm here four days a week.
What, all day every day? See also the other unanswered sub-thread on people in the subway.

Yes. She sweeps up, polishes phones, tidies up and empties plastic trash containers.
And what does she do when she's not in your immediate vicinity? Or is that all the responsibility of the "other janitorial staff" you mention?

But seriously....it can be 80 degrees outside, and you need a fuckin' sweater in here. Despite this, you can STILL smell this poor woman's glands at work.
I refer you to my earlier point about the chemistry of smell in caucasians. But beside that... you live in a small (by your own definition) apartment with something that stinks of shit and off-milk (and with two of my own, I know what I'm talking about here) all day as you must do, if you "don't work a day shift" and you think something else smells worse? Really?

I don't spend "all day" with her because I DON'T WORK A DAY SHIFT, I work late nights and overnights, the same as she does, apparently. Beyond that, I'm quite sure she makes more than minimum wage. My point was more of a statement about how shitty my department is paid.
Then you do spend "all day" with her, her shifts are the same as yours. You're changing the goalposts here. I note your backtracking on her earnings, thanks. You're now assuming she must earn more than you, with no evidence. As I said above, do you earn less than $17.50 an hour, which appears to be the union rate?

Watch that.

You're merely trying to pick a fight now. For a start, the baby cannot look after her own hygene, whereas the cleaning lady can, yet -- I'm assuming -- chooses not to in this capacity, thus it's a moot comparison. In terms of her earnings, it was never my intention to go off on that tangent, as I don't believe it has anything to do with this debate. In fact, the original point was about being stuck in an office environment with someone (regardless of rank/class) who disregards the need for deodorant. Full stop. You want to make this into a discussion of class, and that's a different thread entirely.

x-post: aldo, I was defending Alex because a lot of people -do- have a good idea how much their maintenance staff makes, whether it's in-house or contracted out. That was certainly the case in a couple of
places I worked, where the maintenance people most certainly made more money than some of the office workers. Anyway, I think this is getting kind of pedantic. This is just Alex being Alex (I don't mean that as a put-down).

And I hope I don't sound like one of those 'jeez, can you believe the janitors get fifteen bucks an hour, that's so unfair' types (I've
actually heard this complaint). I'm just pointing out that if they're unionized, they can make more than an office drone.

If anyone's spelling it wrong, it's probably me.

apartment with something that stinks of shit and off-milk
Watch that.
Again, why? I raised two of my own, and it was true in a decent-sized house, even without me spending all day with them. (I had a "day job") Take away the romance and it's absolutely true. It's also utterly relevant to the debate (if you take all the points instead of the ones you choose to answer).

Then you do spend "all day" with her, her shifts are the same as yours. You're changing the goalposts here. I note your backtracking on her earnings, thanks. You're now assuming she must earn more than you, with no evidence. As I said above, do you earn less than $17.50 an hour, which appears to be the union rate?
You're merely trying to pick a fight now. For a start, the baby cannot look after her own hygene, whereas the cleaning lady can, yet -- I'm assuming -- chooses not to in this capacity, thus it's a moot comparison. In terms of her earnings, it was never my intention to go off on that tangent, as I don't believe it has anything to do with this debate. In fact, the original point was about being stuck in an office environment with someone (regardless of rank/class) who disregards the need for deodorant. Full stop. You want to make this into a discussion of class, and that's a different thread entirely.

I'm not merely trying to pick a fight, I'm merely getting you to prove the assertions you have made upthread, which you have used to argue against points other people have made. What's the legal issue... "Do not say anything you might later rely on in court." You're changing the focus to what are simple questions.

Why didn't I? Because i foolishly didn't anticipate the knee-jerk accusations about class/rank snobbery.

Watch that. Again, why? I raised two of my own, and it was true in a decent-sized house

Just let's not bring our respective kids into this, that's all. Yes, i'm well aware that I've probably shared too much with ILX about the fact that I have a child, but I don't want to see her (nor yours) be used as fodder for arguments.

I'm not merely trying to pick a fight, I'm merely getting you to prove the assertions you have made upthread, which you have used to argue against points other people have made. What's the legal issue... "Do not say anything you might later rely on in court." You're changing the focus to what are simple questions.

What you're doing -- as I see it -- is merely perpetuating the tangents that weren't originally the intention of this thread.

Nah, I know, but I'm just getting tired of explaining myself. If you read this thread as being some sort've hateful elitist manifesto, I apologize, that was never the intention. Nor was it the intention to touch off a bush fire debate about the injustices of minimum wage. It was intended to be a light-hearted forum about petty annoyance. Nothing more.

Just let's not bring our respective kids into this, that's all. Yes, i'm well aware that I've probably shared too much with ILX about the fact that I have a child, but I don't want to see her (nor yours) be used as fodder for arguments.
But it's relevant. OK, my choice of words could have been better, but what I say is at heart true (and there is a greater point, trust me). No?

What you're doing -- as I see it -- is merely perpetuating the tangents that weren't originally the intention of this thread.
Then what was the original point? As far as I can tell (and taking your first two or three posts into account) it was "my cleaner stinks, how can I make it stop?"

In which case, as I think I made the point upthread - live with it. I had a cleaner that stank once. Really stank. She was round my desk 10 minutes a day. I didn't let it bother me.

It's not that it matters, it's merely detail. Nothing more, nothing less.

"my cleaner stinks, how can I make it stop?"

For a start, she's not my cleaner, she is ourcleaning lady -- in the same way the managing editor is our managing editor...stop trying to make it a pejorative.

She was round my desk 10 minutes a day. I didn't let it bother me.

How nice for you. I just thought this was an interesting and probably common little dilemma people tend to encounter, and was hoping for some jovial commiseration, not the fucking Spanish Inquisition its turned out to be.

As mentioned, please let's leave our kids out of this. It's just nasty and unnecessary. You want to insult me or accuse me of something, that's fine, but don't allude to my child, please.

Secondly -- and this gets back to the original intention -- I don't care if you're a cleaning lady or an investment banker or a cab driver or a brain surgeron -- deodorant is cheap, readily availalbe and the usage of same is an act of consideration that no one should be exempt from.

What was the point made here again? Hmm.

We had a woman like that at work. Her name was Rose.

I worked with a guy* who stank so much that we told the boss, who had a word to him. After that he'd leave cans of Rexona on his desk as if to say 'look, I have deodorant now' BUT HE DIDN'T USE THEM.

* term used loosely; 'revolting beast' would be more appropriate]

Oh please. It's not racism. It's probably just tactless.

Advise them or their parents on bathing and teeth-cleaning?

this is definitely NOT true -- i remember one kid that we used to tease mercilessly in the 5th grade b/c he smelled bad.

And this thread was hilarious.

Ha ha, Americans are just weird about odour. Sorry, odor.

Please. Let's not revive this.
-- Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, September 16, 2004 10:33 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

Someone posted a link to it in the thread about removing shoes.

But yeah, it's disconcerting.

i think the title of this thread might be poorly constructed. can a need really be 'swift'?

They are even weirder about ordure.