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Approaching someone in a tricky situation.

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I already posted this on TITTWIS, but I decided to start new thread about it too, for those who don't participate there. So here goes...

I have this kinda superficial crush on an Icelandic exchange student who's taking the same "Feminist history" course as I am. I haven't even spoken to her, but she's very cute in an original way. Last week I tried to make an eye contact with her, and I'm pretty sure she responded to it. The problem is that a friend of mine is on the same course, and I'm pretty sure everyone suspects we're a couple, because we always come to the class together, sit next to each other, and leave for home together (we live in the same direction). I'm having the course tomorrow, and my friend is absent then, so this would be a good moment to try to do something... But how the hell do you approach someone in an university seminar? Any advice or experiences on the same sort of situations would be welcome.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

when the seminar ends and everyone gets up to leave, then is your moment

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 18 October 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Could you not catch her on the way out of the class? Chat about the class and then maybe ask her if she wanted to have a coffee or something like that (obv, in as non-cheesy way as possible).

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post, btw.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

The problem is I know nothing about her, I don't even remember her name, and after the seminar, when everyone's leaving for home, isn't really the most natural time to start a conversation. I wish I had some other way of contacting her...

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

If there's the impression this friend of yours is a girlfriend - this girl you fancy might think that you're chasing tail when as soon as the g/f is out of sight. You should remember to make it clear that this girl is just a friend (when you speak to her after class).

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

and after the seminar, when everyone's leaving for home, isn't really the most natural time to start a conversation

what? AMERICAN TV HAS LIED TO ME!

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, Jel, that'd probably be the best solution, but even though I'm quite a social person in general, I'm terrible at those situations where it's kinda obvious I'm not chatting with someone for the sake of mere conversation. As for asking someone out - my hands start to shake at the mere thought.

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, couldn't you just introduce yourself? I mean, there could never be a good time to start up a conversation, but after class is probably best...A "hey! you're in my feminist history class aren't you?..I'm Tuomas", I dunno it might work, just think of it as making a new friend rather than anything more for the time being?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

As for the after class conversation... just think of something, anything to approach her about - maybe there was something in the seminar you didn't understand or get down. Maybe just go straight to asking her out for a coffee. Tell her you like her pants!
Be brave, Tuomas!

xpost - if you get that nervous asking someone out you're pretty screwed!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I know! I guess this is why I only get involved with girls I already know from before. Breaking the ice is the most difficult part for me, after that I'm quite a smooth-talker.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

and after the seminar, when everyone's leaving for home, isn't really the most natural time to start a conversation

what? AMERICAN TV HAS LIED TO ME!

And maybe, they don't all go to the Mall after school?

Good luck Tuomas, btw!

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

you could invite her for a drink with both you and your other female friend and that might make things easier?

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

After class, say "So, how do you like the class?"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

(ideally while walking - don't ask me why, I've no idea).

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I love that this is all happening in a feminist history class.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

do they haev boomboxes and vitalic in finland?

― :|, Monday, 18 October 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

you could invite her for a drink with both you and your other female friend and that might make things easier?

Hmm, that could perhaps work, I'm sure my friend would go for it (I've already talked to her about the girl), though the girl might find all this a bit weird. And I'd still have to come up with some sort of an explanation why we want to invite her for a drink.

After class, say "So, how do you like the class?"

Hmm, maybe I should illuminate you on the Finnish conversation culture: Finns don't do much small talk, especially not with strangers. After class, people generally don't talk to each other, unless they already know from somewhere; this is why I said it wouldn't sound natural. I'm not sure how this is in Iceland though.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

dude wingwoman dude.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I am/was exactly the same as what you describe, Tuomas. The thought of asking someone out was so terrifying, my hands would shake, and I'd get dry-mouthed. Terrible. Is there no way you could meet this person in a "normal" social situation? Like, is there some point where your circle of friends and hers interact? This is how I met my wife, and I would never have had the courage to ask her out if we hadn't already got to know each other quite well. Good luck anyway. I've been in this situation, and I know it's a bit argh.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Pretend you know her already?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I did this a couple of times at university, and after the class seemed to me to be the best time. You can introduce yourself and walk with her for a little while. The second time I did this was much worse though, because she was always with a large group of friends, but I caught her eye and she seperated herself from the rest to talk to me. No success with her though, but we did chat now and then, so I made a vague friend. She was, in all honesty, the most beautiful person I had ever met, so I was kidding myself somewhat. The first time I tried to speak to a girl after class however, we ended up going out a couple of times. I don't regret either occasion though, and if I hadn't talked to them I would probably still kick myself about it. The hard part is to squeeze the universe into a ball and resign yourself to talking, regardless of ho you may feel. Otherwise you never quite get the moment of will that is necessary, and you decision oscillates between commitment and cowardice. In a minute there is time for decisions and revision which a minute will reverse. Or something. Cultural differences might make this more difficult.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

do they haev boomboxes and vitalic in finland?

Add a dog mask and "Da Funk" and you're set.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I love that this is all happening in a feminist history class.

Haha, actually I was on a semi-date a week ago with someone I originally met while we were doing a small-group project as a part of an feminist studies course. I'm not sure if it's two-timing to be interested in two girls at the same time, if things haven't led anywhere yet.

I am/was exactly the same as what you describe, Tuomas. The thought of asking someone out was so terrifying, my hands would shake, and I'd get dry-mouthed. Terrible. Is there no way you could meet this person in a "normal" social situation? Like, is there some point where your circle of friends and hers interact? This is how I met my wife, and I would never have had the courage to ask her out if we hadn't already got to know each other quite well.

As I said, this is how I've usually met my romantic interests, but in this case it's quite improbable we'd know anyone in common, her being an exchange student.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

When someone asks something like this (well, when I ask something like this) what they really want is a line and a rough timescale in which to deliver the line. Well, the rough timescale has been given by Stevem, and I suggest the line you use is something like;

"Hi, I'm afraid I have no idea of your name, but I'd really like to find out if you'd let me buy you a coffee?" delivered with a cheeky smile.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway, I guess I'm making too big a number out of all this. I don't really know her, and I almost always fall for the person, not for the looks. Also, it's not like I'm particularly handsome, so the only way I can make an impression on people is through my personality, which I kinda hard in a situation like this. But we'll see...

Anyway, thanks for all the advice and encouragement, I'll promise to report to ILE if anything happens.

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, since you are trying to do what I am literally incapable of doing, I just want to let you know that I'm going to live this experience vicariously through you. Do not let me (us) down.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh dear, please don't put any more weight on my shoulders than I already have.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh well, if I fail tomorrow, I still have until mid-December to act... Though this is probably the kind of thinking Kevin was describing upthread. Loved your post Kevin, by the way.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Everyone is missing the key point: it's a feminist history class, so the perfect approach is "Hey, what's a hot babe with great tits doing in an intellectual class like this?"

More seriously, you aren't with your friend so don't have to sit in the same place. Sit near enough to her (not right next to her) so that she is a natural person to talk to as you gather your stuff and start to leave. Yes, "what do you think of the class?" is fine, as is any comment or question about the class, especially one that can turn into a discussion, and can offer an opportunity for something like "I'd like to continue this conversation - do you fancy a coffee?" or some such.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 18 October 2004 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hey, fancy being objectified?"

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hey gurly gurl, I'd love to give you a good face fuckin' if you fancy some Tuomas lovin'."

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

That was "going too far" wasn't it?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

'you want equality? it's your round' (sorry Tuomas, good luck with it all)

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"Would you like to take a non-sexual coed sauna with me? And then maybe afterwards we could put all of our clothes back on and get sexual?"

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Said in your best Hugh Grant stammer.

― nickn (nickn), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Lure her into your van with some candy. That works everytime.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

drop your pants

― kephm (kephm), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"Would you like to take a non-sexual coed sauna with me? And then maybe afterwards we could put all of our clothes back on and get sexual?"

Haha, actually the coed sauna *is* pretty nonsexual in Finland, most of the people are so used to it. And you really can't have sex there, it's too hot.

Did I already mention that the girl also speaks English with a super-cute Icelandic accent, I can't imagine anything cuter than that. (I'm beginning to sound quite superficial, am I not?)

I just called the other girl I've met at a feminist studies course, I'm going to see her next week to find out whether there's anything between us (it's kinda unclear). I already feel like a cheater, even though I haven't really done anything with her either...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

All Icelandic women are super hot, to non-Icelandic people anyway. It's kind of annoying, as it makes one doubt one's own attraction.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

It should be noted that the Finns, as a peoples, are pretty hot themselves!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, there is NOTHING wrong with being superficial when it comes to finding people attractive.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess so, but it is unlike me. I can't remember when was the last time I've had a crush - even a superficial one - on someone I didn't know.

Besides, since I'm no looker myself, I'd like to think looks don't really matter, even if they certainly seem to do so.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

But but but you're very good-looking?!

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Knock off the bashfulness - you are adorable, Tuomas!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

http://freespace.virgin.net/bharath.pillai/gifs/tricky.jpg

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, I just haven't posted any of the less flattering pics of me here.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

See this pic, for example. Do I look like Mr. Gorgeous?

http://www.mv.helsinki.fi/aqkorhon/meilahti4.jpg

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Your long blonde hair = ROWR!

(You're in the middle, right?)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

No, but WHO'S THAT HOT FRIEND OF YOURS IN THE MIDDLE?

x-post

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, you look suave AND you're with two attractive females, one caught in admittedly midsquint but still. Relax.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

They're both my friends. The middle one is my ex-roommate, whom I miss enormously (she's in Buenos Aires), thank God she's coming back within two months.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)

You're very cute, T.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, A!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

So are you.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I've decided to just refer to people by their initials today.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I talked a bit with this girl doing the walking-after-class thing today. She was I think def. trying to talk me up and I shoulda bit on it but I ran out of things to say. We have two classes together and she was all "You should be teaching the english class instead" and it was sorta like this "whoa -- that's a big compliment" awkward moment and I played it down and then we started walking in different directions.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Going from the talking about class to the talking about eachother part is the tricky one that I missed. Well, next week.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"Tell her you like her pants!"

1st make sure she is not wearing a skirt.

― isadora (isadora), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Why? Otherwise it could lead to:

"You can't see my pants?"
"True, but I'll bet I'll like them if you show them to me."

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Just wanna confirm, yeah, you're adorable in that picture. You look like fun.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

was it a sheep's eye?

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Perry beat me to posting a Tricky pic.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, he *did* meet the devil in Hell-sinki.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

WOMEN OF ILX: If some random sketchy dude handed you a note that said "HI UR CUET PLZ CALL ME"...

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 03:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Sterling, she probably just meant - "Jeez, you're a bit of a weird brainbox, aren't you?"

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

It should be noted that the Finns, as a peoples, are pretty hot themselves!

Because they're always in the sauna, obv.

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

(at university, I did get together with someone from my Scandinavian Cultural History class after we got to know each other by talking to each other as we left the seminar each week. So, it can work.)

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Toss her a note with this URL in class and smile sweetly!

Or have your girl friend chat her up in a friendly way, so that you can just happen to drop by and join the conversation. Then you all go for a coffee and have your friend leave early, leaving you and Iceland girl.

Or just chat her up like everyone else suggests, maybe you can ask something about Iceland? ("Hey, you're from Iceland, aren't you? I've always wanted to go there!")

― Hanna (Hanna), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Toss her a note with this URL in class and smile sweetly!

haha, the outcome of this would be either "awwwwwww" or "OH MY GOD WHO ARE THESE INTERWEB FREAKS"

but i really like to think it would be the former and if not well that's her being crap

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

the obvious answer to this question is of course....

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

HI DERE!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

but i really like to think it would be the former and if not well that's her being crap

Yeah, she should certainly find Sick Mouthy's comments about face fucking simply endearing.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

well she might find it funny

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

If you do end up together she's gonna google you sooner or later, you might just get this thread out of the way now! :-)

― Hanna (Hanna), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha, and you called me Amazing Randy, Ken.

Tuomas, I have little to add, seeing as when I tried this 3 years ago when this girl kept eyeing me for weeks during my American Studies class, she turned out to be a. a bore and b. attached. My ex-housemate disliked her too, and he fucks anything with a vagina and a pulse (if Colette ever sees this, he's the reason I asked if you were going to Madrid).

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, the last time I was in this situation, it lead to a two-year friendship/unrequited crush, that continues to this day. Between her boyfriend, her in France during my final year and me in Ghana during hers, we've done pretty well. She was my library crush - after 3 months of smiling at each other on the random occasions we were in the same area of the library, I eventually went and sat at her table when she was alone doing some revision. Then I made her laugh by cursing my Greek history out loud for being written in Greek (I'd like to say I planned that part, but I didn't) and eventually we chatted a little and it went from there.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

i think when i was in lectures in uni i just spent the whole time looking at eye-candies and i thought everybody else did that.

it was difficult during the programming classes. but oh oh oh angela across the room. cuteness.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you send her binary porn images?

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I have no idea why I asked that.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

because you want some?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

1
1
010 phwore

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

eew. the bends

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you not have to do group work in seminars? Or prepare presentations and the like in groups of two or three? What's wrong with the time-honoured tradition of engineering things so you end up working with the cute girl?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

It doesn't work?

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

reprogram the lifts so that it "breaks down" just when it's just you and her in the lift.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course it works, as far as making that initial contact goes.

I am the worst person to ask about this at the moment. On Saturday an American girl approached me in the pub and said "hey, I like your t-shirt, its really cute" and smiled. But because a) my friend was outside the pub waiting for me to leave and b) I am an idiot, all I offered in return was "thanks" and a quick smile before walking away. I spent the rest of the night engaged in self-flagellation.

So yeah, even if she doesn't respond as you'd like, it doesn't mean she's not interested. She might just be socially inept.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, the seminar ended, and it was kind of a letdown. I came there too early, she wasn't there yet, and then this other girl sat next to me and started to talk to me, and when the Icelandic girl arrived there were only a couple of seats available and she took one of them. I did have an eye contact with her though.

Right now I'm using the computer at the library, and she's here too, although across the hall. After the class she walked straight into the library which is right next to the seminar buliding, so I didn't have the chance to chat up with her. By sheer chance (I'm not making this up) I had a book with me that was borrowed from this library, so I came here too and returned the book. Right now she's sitting at a computer, just like me, but the computers are placed so that I don't have sraight eye contact to her, so I won't know when she leaves. Besides, if I try to leave the same time she does, that would look like stalking, right? She probably already suspects I followed her here.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

She's still here, she just walked by me. Oh god, I feel really stupid.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Play 'Foxy Lady on the jukebox.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, I posted my library story to HELP you.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sorry, despite what you might've thought, Finnish libraries don't have jukeboxes.

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

At this point, going to talk to her would be highly embarrassing. I mean, she must suspect that I followed her here. And in a way I did. Oh my god, I'm a stalker!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, chill out. It doesn't seem like stalking unless you do it like three or four times. At this point, it's just a coincidence. The next time she walks by, make an excuse to go somewhere where you'll pass by her, and say something like Oh hey, you're in that same class with me, I'm Tuomas, etc. etc.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you thought about asking 'yo, where's the bars at?'

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Read some Greek history near her and curse it out aloud. Then you're all systems go.
Your library system sounds disappointing and I think swift remedial action should be taken.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

She *knows* I'm in the same class with her, there are like fifteen people on that class and I'm the only guy there, plus as I've said, we've beem sort of trading looks for the last two lectures, or at least that what it seems like to me.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Pretend you didn't understand something in the seminar and ask her about it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

By now I *do* wish Finnish libraries were equipped with a bar - I'd love to get a drink or too, at this point I really can't the summon the courage to do anything but sit here and feel stupid.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Finnish libraries don't have jukeboxes.

bring the mountain to the prophet: throw a party and inviet her!

― :|, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, you are thinking too much. Get a friend to clobber you with a chair and give you a concussion, then make your move.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Drooling is a dangerous move, but it might pay off.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

At this particular point, Tuomas getting it on with this Icelandic girl has become more important to me than my own life. Its like the frustration of all that dithering and inaction at university is coming to the fore.

In other words just stop pussyfooting and go over there and talk to her.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck yeah. I mean, you have better girls over there than here, so your inaction is kinda ticking me off.

PS, Matt, thx for the text last week.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

If only I had some credible excuse to go and talk to her... Straightforwardness isn't really my thing, the times I've asked someone out are few, and even then I've already got to know those persons and had their phone numbers.

God, I wish I wasn't such a wuss!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

ask her if she would like to be oppressed by your patriarchy

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

If only I had some credible excuse to go and talk to he

...like inviting her and everyoen else in class to your excelent feminist booze-vitalic-n-sauna party next weekend? hello?

― :|, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I was kind of thinking, if we're both supposedly feminists, and we're living in the age of the liberated woman, why is it still *my* responsibility to approach her? Why can't she come and talk to me?

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas you may never get a better chance, life is short blah blah

(xpost - there is your starting jokey conversation?)

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course I might just be imagining all this. Maybe she hasn't even noticed me.

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I love these "live" threads.

Staring at/making eye contact with/stalking women for months at a time then finally speaking to them when you're pissed out of your face* and discovering you don't even like each other is dud. So ask her out.

*note: may be semi-autobiographical elements in this

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you not got some homework or reading or anything from the class? Can't you fabricate some reason to talk to her on that basis? 'Any luck finding The Female Eunuch?' etc?

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

she could approach you, Tuomas, but you'd possibly be waiting around longer in case the idea didn't strike her.

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Ya, maybe you heard something about next week's session being canceled and wanted to confirm with her.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh dear, I walked to where she was sitting, but she had already left! I didn't even notice it!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

*lock thread*

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess I'll have to think of some sort of machination to get to talk to her the next time. My friend would probably help me with this, if only I come up with something.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Or I could just hang around this library as much as possible, the texts we read on our seminar are placed here, and she's bound to come here and read or copy them at some point. Then again, that'd be really pathetic.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll promise to update this thread if/when anything happens.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you walk to where she was sitting to speak to her? If so BRAVO!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I dunno, I was gonna make my mind on the way there, but then I needn't to do that after all. I have no idea whether I could've actually talked to her.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas - did you check to see what sites she visited on the computer she was using?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

You might be able to get an idea of her interests and maybe that might give you an idea of something to talk with her about...
I mean... since you're already stalking her!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Do not do this!

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

To break the ice, ask her has she listened to the new Björk album Medúlla.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Eh - why not? He's already followed her into the library!

If he doesn't manage to strike up a conversation with her soon about something - ANYTHING - he's just going to become the creepy guy that stares at her all the time.

xpost: Do not do that!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a beautiful uber-ilx moment really: I was too busy discussing my crush on a thread to notice my actual crush, er, leaving the building...

Sorry Tuomas, I'm not mocking you really. Keep us posted!

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It's honestly much better to just get over it and try to talk to her, even if it's small talk. Otherwise you will just drive yourself insane and like someone above suggested, your disposition may even change as soon as you actually start to get to know her.

School is the best place to harbor crushes. I currently have 2 at mine, and I've progressed to the point where I do all my lab assignments with one and compliment the other's art projects.

You're at school....you should really use this to break the ice! Find some after-school or school-related functions if there are any and ask her to go with you. I asked one of my crushes to go to an observatory thing with me for astronomy class and said I'd bring wine and she was all about it and said she'll bring cheese.

By now we've had enough normal conversation that the possibility of us going out isn't the only thing our relationship is based on. It's good to be able to talk and have fun. At least it will relieve some of the stress you're placing on yourself.

― Adam Bruneau (oliver8bit), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Ask her if she agrees that on 'Ancestors', it sounds like a Gremlin is fucking Bjork in the ass.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread makes me miss college. talking to girls after class is pretty damn easy. you already have alot in common/something to talk shit about. the last girl I went out with I used to sit behind in a women's US history class.

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

The last girl? Are you still seeing her or is she... history???*

*I'm sorry.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

(rimshot)

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a beautiful uber-ilx moment really: I was too busy discussing my crush on a thread to notice my actual crush, er, leaving the building...

Haha, yes, I realized this immediately, I was just too embarassed to point it out...

You're at school....you should really use this to break the ice! Find some after-school or school-related functions if there are any and ask her to go with you.

Well, the problem is that you can't exactly call the Helsinki University a "school". The campus area spreads throughout the city centre, and I've never seen the girl anywhere else than in the seminar. I know nothing about her, the feminist history course is my only connection to her, and I have no idea what she studies or anything. And the after-school activities are mostly for people who already know each other.

But I guess at this point I've become a bit too obsessed with her, I think I should chill down, wait for the next class and see what happens.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

NO MORE EXCUSES.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

hate to say it tuomas, but school,university, is the easiest time in YOUR LIFE to approach strangers you crush on. have a v-8, GO FOR IT.

― kephm (kephm), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you considered saying, "Hi, I'm Tuomas. I just wanted to introduce myself to you," and then seeing what happens next? Perhaps it will lead to sex?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's impossible without risking rejection, like many such things.

I fancy a girl in College at the moment too, but I am sure I will meet her eventually. And by sure I don't mean I will leave it to chance, without going into detail I think we will meet this year. it's very hard to approach the person straight off though, you need just a simple reason to meet them.

I have a bigger crush than the above at the moment though.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Her name starts with an E and she is living with her aunt. You have no chance. Laters.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

tuomas check what sites she visited, maybe she was posting about wanting to approach you on some other message board! insta-romantic comedy!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Approach by saying something like, 'hey you're in my feminist history seminar, right? What do you think about it?'

Then say, 'You're from Iceland, right? Why did you decide to study in Finland? How do you like it here?'

Ask her questions about herself, make eye contact, smile lots. Then you can chat her up one more time and ask her out.

Your losing momentum. Your window of opportunity is closing. It'll never be easier than this (for this girl, and for the rest of your single life).

Pathetic!

― supercub, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Is anyone else lost in soft-focus reverie at the thought of a feminist booze and Vitalic sauna party full of Scandinavian girls? I mean, I've tried very, very hard to imagine anything better, but I can't.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:20 (twenty-one years ago)

What's Vitalic?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:21 (twenty-one years ago)

It is very loud and fast and goes 'wumwumwumwumwumwumwumwum' and there is lots of banging.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Er...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It's Matt's fantasy version of himself.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Har Matt Superstar.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, you missed a big opportunity! You could have dropped a pile of books right next to her, making sure you looked clumsy in a cute way and then she'd have helped you pick them up and you could have reached for the same book at the same time and... TOUCHED HANDS! And also you would have looked furtively at her and made some eye contact and got a fluttery tummy. But now it is too late :(

― Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it too late for Tuomas to try the 'bend and snap' technique?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm worried that Tuomas' friend has a secret crush on him and is being all torn up inside now that his attentions are directed at the Icelandic Maiden.

or maybe i've just watched too many John Hughes movies.

― koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, Ducky.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:10 (twenty-one years ago)

tuomas, why don't you walk up to her after the next class and say something obviously lame, but in a charming way, like: 'so, finns don't make much small talk. how about people from iceland?'

if she's checking you out while in class, chances are she thinks you're cute as well, but is also being shy. plus, she has the added crippling factors of thinking you might have a girlfriend AND probably not knowing anyone else in the city (which has a snowball effect on shyness, i've found)

you could start by saying 'hi' and smiling at her after the next couple classes, and eventually, just start talking to her. i'll bet that at the very least she'll be happy to have a new friend in a new city, and at best you guys can make out in the sauna or whatever.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I would totally film a makeout party in a sauna with Vitalic on s/t duties.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm worried that Tuomas' friend has a secret crush on him and is being all torn up inside now that his attentions are directed at the Icelandic Maiden.

Well, let me assure this isn't the case! But yesterday I got the feeling that Finnish girl who sat next to me in the class (and thus prevented me and the Icelandic girl winding up near each other) and began chatting up with me might harbour some sort of interest in me, which makes the situation even more complicated.


if she's checking you out while in class, chances are she thinks you're cute as well, but is also being shy.

I thought of this at first, but my low self-esteem said to me, "She's super-pretty while you're not exactly cute yourself, she couldn't possibly be interested in you.". Of course, the Icelandic girl might think exactly the same. She certainly isn't pretty in the conventional way, nor even in the Björkish elfin-kinda-way, I think what drew my attention to her is that her appearance escapes all the categories I can think of.

Alba, what is the "bend and snap" technique? And I still don't know what Vitalic is either...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Vitalic is Ronan's Viagra.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Matt wants some but he don't get none.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, a quick googling reveals that Vitalic is some sort of skin cream. But what does it have to do with partying?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:16 (twenty-one years ago)

You spread it everywhere and get down.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:17 (twenty-one years ago)

vitalic is moisturizing like you wouldnt beleive.

― :|, Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

what is the "bend and snap" technique?

it's from the film 'legally blonde'

while i think it would probably be hilarious to watch you try this, i'm not sure it would get you the same results as reece witherspoon...

i think you should just start being a little more obvious with hellos and smiles, just to set a foundation for your smooth lines later. or something.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

In other words, for smooth lines, use Vitalic.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I am all about that Alter Ego exfoliator these days.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Garni- *gets shot*

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Why didn't I think of that? That's twice this thread has made me feel like a failure.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, I'm definitely *not* gonna slip her the URL now.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas clearly the reason this isn't working out is cos you've never heard Vitalic. I mean that with 100 percent sincerity.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 11:12 (twenty-one years ago)

So ask her if she fancies a dance.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

tell her you are not vitalic but, if she playes her cards right she may end up in your chicago house

― Our Graham (Ronan), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

tuomas, 'meet cute'.

― cºzen (Cozen), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 11:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel better about my shit now

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

more fibre in the diet

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I still can't get over the part about the co-ed saunas.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I know! Surely this "Finland" is the promised land!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, we sure wouldn't let dirty-minded foreigners like you into our pure and innocent co-ed saunas.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

To be frank, I don't think co-ed saunas are *completely* non-sexual. No situation where two or more adults of opposite gender are naked together probably is. But they're a lot, lot less sexual than you might think. Kinda like nudist resorts - when you get used to the nudity, it's not a big deal.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

And besides, when it's up near 90-100 degrees, sex is not what you're thinking about (contrary to all the porn cliches), although they are very nice after sex.

― Guymauve (Guymauve), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the sexuality at nudists resorts are kept to a minimum by the hideous nature of the majority of the patrons.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I went to a naked party in college, and no one will believe me when I say this, but it was not sexual at all. It was just that everyone happened to be naked.

― Laura E (laurae55), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, my leg was broken so I was on crutches and naked, and of all things I ran into a guy who was also on crutches (and naked). It was like a hilarious commercial or something.

It made it more awkward to go up stairs, though.

― Laura E (laurae55), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

The nudity or the crutches?

― Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Naturism - classic or dud?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Both. And the inebriation didn't help matters.

― Laura E (laurae55), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, I've always wondered this about nudist/naked gatherings - so maybe you could give me your input here, Laura.
When you're at something like this is it taboo for a guy to have a stiff one? I mean if I were surrounded by nakedness I think eventually a cute girl would get my attention, so to speak. So would the resulting rock rocking be looked down upon or would it be accepted as a natural male physical reaction?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

The funny thing was (and I swear this is true) there was not a single boner in the entire place. And we were all young, healthy, reasonably nice looking people. At first it's novel and somewhat stimulating, but then I think you're brain sort of shifts gears and just starts to accept the nudity as normal. When I left, it felt really, really strange to walk through the house after putting my clothes back on.

This must be true for the guys as well or else I'm sure I would have noticed a stiffy or two. I think most people being really drunk/high helped as well, but if a guy had gotten "excited" (and seemed agitated about it) I'm sure people would have been understanding until the moment passed. People that are willing to get naked to hang out are usually pretty laid back.

― Laura E (laurae55), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

and OMG you're = your. I hate myself.

― Laura E (laurae55), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

What Laura's describing here fits perfectly to coed saunas as well. I've never seen a boner there either.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

one day, kiddo. one day.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I started that naturism thread exactly a year ago - what a weird day for the subject to crop up again.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I love this thread.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, as colette says, the 'Bend & Snap' technique was showcased in the film Legally Blonde. It involves accidentally on purpose dropping something (say, a pencil) when you are in front of the object of your attentions, bending to pick it up and snapping back up again. It has primarily been used by women, but you are both metrosexual feminists so I see no bar to your employment of it.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh shit - I've not read the preceding posts. Don't do this naked.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

At least, I don't think so. I don't know. You be the judge.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate this thread.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

My ass is too big.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Or, at least, bigger than Reese Witherspoons, I'd suppose.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Besides, I could never respect anyone who'd choose me just for my ass.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not really about the ass. You do it head on.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"Not only do you have a nice ass, but your nutsack is amazing."

― The Object Of Tuomas's Affections (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

What's it's purpose then?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:44 (twenty-one years ago)

To be honest, it's more about the breasts - you snap your arms up, a bit like a begging puppy, hands sort of cupping your boobs.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:44 (twenty-one years ago)

According to the movie, its purpose is to present your breasts to the object of your affection. (XPOST!)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, not cupping exactly - your wrists are on top.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

My breasts are too small.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll never get her.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Can you get your female friend to wear the same color clothing as you and stand in front of you so that it looks like you have her breasts?

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

A quite poor bend:

ihttp://www.nanuq.net/Berglands/wpeA.jpg

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

...and snap:

ihttp://www.nanuq.net/Berglands/BendandSnap2.jpg

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

My friend has big breasts, that's true. But I could never respect someone who'd choose me just because I have big breasts, which aren't even mine.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think you want to hook up with this girl, deep down.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 20:54 (twenty-one years ago)

So, when are you next in a class with this young lady, Tuomas?

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Next week is the autumn break, so it'll be only the week after that, on Tuesday. Boohoo! I'm still hoping I'll run across her at the campus area before that though.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I've already been on break for one week. I go back on monday.

― Aja (aja), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I just spoke to the girl! My hands are still trembling...

I was copying the readings for our seminar at the library, and she was there too. We're supposed to read Henrik Ibsen's "A Doll's House" for the next class, and she was wondering where she could find the book in Icelandic or Norwegian or Swedish, and I tried to help her. Unfortunately she then had to leave for class, and I was still in the middle of copying, so we didn't talk for long. I was so nervous I didn't even remember to ask her name. But the ice has been broken! Next time it'll be a lot easier to talk to her.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Hurrah for the courage to talk to cute girls!

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:17 (twenty-one years ago)

(oddly enough, I also did The Doll's House in the class in which I ended up getting together with someone.)

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not that odd. "Ask him where to find different translations of Ibsen's A Doll's House" is one of the tips in the bestselling So You Want To Ensnare A Useless Indie Boy.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:23 (twenty-one years ago)

...man, all these things I never knew. Maybe I should have tried this on Tuesday night instead of asking about London toilet venues.

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe it's destiny!

(Doesn't A Doll's House end with protagonist *leaving* her man though?)

(x-post)

Haha, Alba, I didn't think of that...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:25 (twenty-one years ago)

It's true, Ibsen = hott lovin'.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:26 (twenty-one years ago)

That's from the more controversial So You Want To Ensnare A Filthy Drug Addict, Kate.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:26 (twenty-one years ago)

He wasn't a drug addict. I don't think. He came over and asked me about my Jazzmaster! (Then again, maybe he wanted to nick it to hock it for smack, what do I know?)

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I have to admit, I have completely forgotten how A Doll's House ends. All I can rememeber is that the filmed version we watched in the class had Juliet Stevenson in the lead role.

(I think that's her name - the actress that always does voiceovers for Horizon and other similar science documentaries)

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't say he was a drug addict. That's why the trick didn't work.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway, this'll make talking to her the next time a lot easier. I can ask things like, "Well, did you find the book?", or, "What did you think of it?" etc. Contrary to the image you might get from this thread, I'm not really shy at all, it's just the first contact that's super-hard for me.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

She does leave. Ghosts is kind of the story of what would have happened to Nora if she hadn't. Her son gets syphilis. So yeah, good on her.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I spoke about all this to a friend today, and he reminded me that she could just as well be spoken for. I hadn't even thought of that! Maybe I should just calm down a bit about this whole thing.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:32 (twenty-one years ago)

'Spoken for' is a nicely old-fashioned phrase, it just occurs to me. I say 'nicely' but perhaps it is actually oppressive. Perhaps you could ask her what she thinks.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Why calm down? This is the best part, this is the best part of the crush!

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I should calm down because,

a) I still don't know anything about her, in the end I might not like her at all,

b) she could be spoken for,

c) she might just think I'm a jerk.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

By the way, the term we use in Finland for "spoken for" is "reserved". Talk about being literal.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:38 (twenty-one years ago)

A good friend of mine is at a festival in Iceland right now and apparently the women are very promiscous. Even if she is spoken for, it might not be a problem.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

heh. that makes it equate girl/boyfriend with 'parking space' in my head. (xpost)
I've enjoyed reading this thread. Hope she turns out to be cool and single, Tuomas!

― sgs (sgs), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:40 (twenty-one years ago)

just did a quick google and Doll's House is available online from Project Gutenburg (but only in english):
http://www.gutenberg.net/dirs/etext01/dlshs11h.htm

but 'icelandic' also matched a bunch of other things:
http://www.gutenberg.net/etext/5603
http://www.gutenberg.net/etext/1894
http://www.gutenberg.net/etext/265
http://www.gutenberg.net/etext/3701

which might be good background reading for your 'project' 8)

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

ahem, morals.

― Pete W (peterw), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

A good friend of mine is at a festival in Iceland right now and apparently the women are very promiscous. Even if she is spoken for, it might not be a problem.

I don't want sex, I want romance. Besides, she doesn't seem like she'd be promiscuous. Don't go shatterin' my illusions!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:42 (twenty-one years ago)

At this point I'm praying for God she'll never stumble over this thread...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

But you come out of it rather well, in the face of a sea of temptation.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 21 October 2004 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Do I? I thought I'd might look more like an obsessive fool.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 11:14 (twenty-one years ago)

d) she might be a lesbian (or have you already been able to establish that she likes gentlemen?)

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 21 October 2004 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, it wouldn't be the first time I've had a crush on someone who turns out to be a dyke. No signal on my gaydar yet, but then again lesbians are harder to spot than gay men.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sorry, is "dyke" an offensive word? Is it okay for a non-dyke to use it?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i agree with kate...just enjoy the anticipation that you get from having a crush, especially one that you've actually talked to!

by the way, i couldn't tell from your story, but did she approach you for help, or did you volunteer?

this is an exciting story!

(xpost. the last two posts are making me giggle. i'm so mature)

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 21 October 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

So she approached you? Well, that's a good sign! At the very least it means that she does not dislike you! And that she doesn't mind you eyeing her in class! This thread is so exciting. You should have asked for her name, then at least we could have had some google excitement until your next class! :-)

― Hanna (Hanna), Thursday, 21 October 2004 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel a bit jealous. I'm starting to fancy her too.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 21 October 2004 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

She didn't exactly approach me... I was at the copier and she just walked by, and I said hi and she said hi. I think the reason she walked by is that she needed to use the toilet, which is right next to the copier. How prosaic.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and if ever find out her name I'm certainly not gonna tell it to you InterWeb weirdoes... ;-)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

A good friend of mine is at a festival in Iceland right now and apparently the women are very promiscous

"Mum's gone to Iceland" DOES have a hidden meaning!

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Thursday, 21 October 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

T, we only reveal the names of celebrity crushes around here.

Thanks to Matt, a) I want to got to Iceland and b) last week, my Dad asked me to Google the place, for which purposes I never discovered.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Thursday, 21 October 2004 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

What, google for the whole country?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

He said it was for business, actually.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Thursday, 21 October 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and if ever find out her name I'm certainly not gonna tell it to you InterWeb weirdoes... ;-)
Says he who posts a thread about tips for stalking some girl he'd never met! ;-)

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 21 October 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Touché.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 12:58 (twenty-one years ago)

alba otm. i think i'm hot for her too now. good sell tuomas, good sell.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 21 October 2004 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm hot for all the loose women in Iceland.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 21 October 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

You know there are only 280,000 people in Iceland. That's less than half that of Greater Glasgow.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 21 October 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

i've been to glasgow. it must have been the lesser half.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 21 October 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I've just spend the evening with her!

Okay, this requires a bit of an explanation... Today, after I spoke with her at the library, I ran across a friend of mine. Se shaid that she and an another friend were going to this pub/club called "Barfly" tonight, because Thursday is the day they sell cheap booze there, and would I like to join them? I was like, why the hell not, I don't have anything better to do. So I went there. When I got in I was told that it was the exchange student night tonight, the whole place was full of exchange students from the university. So I told my friend, "Wouldn't it be weird if the Icelandic girl would be here too...". About five minutes after having said that I saw her there! At this point I was like, okay, this must be destiny, so I started talking with her. But the place was too noisy to talk, so we decided to leave our friends behind and go to another pub nearby. And we sat and talked there for about three hours, until it was time to go home (we both have to wake up early tomorrow). Unfortunately she has to leave Helsinki for a few days, but she'll be back next Wednesday, and I promised to call her then so we could see each other again next week.

Right now I'm kinda dizzy, both because of the cheap beer and because I can't believe what just happened! Life can't really be this way, can it?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

that is wonderful.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

is this the first time someone's started a random lust thread and actually pulled? stop the internet!!

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

(odds are this is probably somehow connected to the bosox.)

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

ps. congrats tuomas.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks! I do have to point out that nothing of *that* sort happened tonight, but we had a great time, and I'm really, really looking forward seeing her next week.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

stop the internet. pahahaha. i must steal this in the future.

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

tuomas, girls don't just randomly leave bars to get to know relative strangers unless they like them *that* way. buck up, you're in there!

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

i give it two weeks before you're huffin' on puffin tail.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess I don't want to know exactly what *that* means...

But yeah, after all the desperation, I still can't believe this actually happened, and by sheer luck just as well. I still fear that I'll wake up tomorrow, and this whole evening will be just a weird dream.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

wow that really is great, hope things go well next week!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew that email would do the trick ;)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Er, what email?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh great! I've been quite moved by this thread (I am overemotional at the moment in general) and really hoping for a happy outcome. This is terrific news, and making me happy. Good luck, Tuomas.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 21 October 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Good luck Tuomas, you romantic you.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank you, Martin! Thank you, everyone! I'm going to sleep now, and hopefully her number will still be on my celly when I wake up.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I misread that as belly at first and thought Tuomas had not been entirely forthcoming about his evening.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, well done Tuomas. If you left the pub together, leaving your friends behind, I daresay that's an excellent sign.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

When you gwonna post a picture of this mysterious, unconventionally hot hottie? (Tell her not to by shy about getting her picture taken - because it's not for anything fancy - it's just to post on the internets.)

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Well done Tuomas. I been rooting for you. This has made me smile like nothing else today

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Way to go man!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

holy shit, i thought you were gay!!

― phil-two (phil-two), Thursday, 21 October 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, have you lived in an English speaking country (like as a kid)?
How did your English get so good and naturalistic?

― supercub, Friday, 22 October 2004 00:09 (twenty-one years ago)

phil's post is the perfect punchline to this thread

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 22 October 2004 05:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, innit sweet! Young romance with hot Iclandic! Makes me all happy and gives me a Ready-Brek glow!

Right, sweepstake on how long it takes for them to get jiggy.

I bags a fortnight.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 22 October 2004 06:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Wooo-hooo, congrats Tuomas! This sounds too good to be true! Haha, this thread is great! I just hope it continues over the next few decades so we can all follow your moving in together, marrying, having kids and going on vacations.

― Hanna (Hanna), Friday, 22 October 2004 07:00 (twenty-one years ago)

(PS: if you change your mind and decide that you don't really fancy her after all, you know you'll have to lie to us. We could not bear the anti-climax.)

― Hanna (Hanna), Friday, 22 October 2004 07:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I just hope it continues over the next few decades so we can all follow your moving in together, marrying, having kids and going on vacations.

...all of it posted to this thread? :-)

But please folks, don't get overexcited. Let's wait for next week and see what happens.

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 22 October 2004 07:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, I'm an awful liar, in that case I'll probably just let this thread die a silent death.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 22 October 2004 07:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, good shit Tuomas! Does she do drugs? Cuz if she doesn't, don't pull an LC and start poppin xannies and bombs to 'take the edge off', even after she agrees to go on a date (yes, I was really that reckless). Be yourself and you'll be the man, and whatever happens, enjoy it for what it is.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Friday, 22 October 2004 07:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Ohmigod, Tuomas, that is great! I'm so happy things are going so well.

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Friday, 22 October 2004 07:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks Kate!

I don't think she's much into drugs, but neither am I - I just puff occasionally. I'm definitely gonna count on my personality, perhaps with a little help from the Good Ol' Mister Alcohol. How does your story end, LeCoq, if I may ask?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 22 October 2004 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Yay Tuomas! I have to say, it does sound as if she and her mates (and maybe some of your mates too) engineered it. Do you not find it suspicious that the exchange night was 'coincidentally' happening at the place you were invited to go to? I reckon she's had the hots for you for weeks.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 22 October 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Way to go Tuomas. Your making me pine for the old days when I was trying to get with my now wife.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Friday, 22 October 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I have this image of Iceland Girl in my head now! I think of her as short (1,60), white hair (bleached, but it's naturally blonde so it doesn't look too weird), big eyes kind of far apart like Björk, black mascara, pink discreet lipstick, she wears lots of dark green, brown and pink clothes! Am I close? :-)

― Hanna (Hanna), Friday, 22 October 2004 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I imagine her to look exactly like Bjork, wearing one of those white felt coats with embroidery around the shoulders and fur around the hood.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 22 October 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Pixieish.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 22 October 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Hopefully she won't be wearing a swan dress.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Friday, 22 October 2004 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Hanna-Barima mindmeld. Except she also wears a lot of white.

Good work, T.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Friday, 22 October 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I have to say, it does sound as if she and her mates (and maybe some of your mates too) engineered it. Do you not find it suspicious that the exchange night was 'coincidentally' happening at the place you were invited to go to?

No, you got it wrong, it was *my* friend who asked me to come there, and she really didn't know about the exchange student night, she was just after the cheap booze. And the Icelandic Girl was there with her own, British exchange student pals. That's why it seemed like fate that I met her: had I not accidentally ran to the said friend earlier that day, I would never have gone to the pub.


I have this image of Iceland Girl in my head now! I think of her as short (1,60), white hair (bleached, but it's naturally blonde so it doesn't look too weird), big eyes kind of far apart like Björk, black mascara, pink discreet lipstick, she wears lots of dark green, brown and pink clothes! Am I close? :-)

No, you're not. I could describe her to you, but somehow I'm kinda reluctant to write too much about her here, now that she's turned from a long-distance crush whom I know nothing about into a person with a name and an identity. It's not that I don't trust you guys, obviously, but this *is* a public message board basically anyone can view.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 22 October 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread makes me happy. Hurrah for Tuomas!

― robster (robster), Friday, 22 October 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Moi Tuomas. Perhaps when you've made the connection, I can buy you a tuoppi.

― Guymauve (Guymauve), Friday, 22 October 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

that's really cool tuomas.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 22 October 2004 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I think she has dark hair and is quite short and kind of jumper cuddly.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 22 October 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

no that's the girl I fancy.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 22 October 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Moi Tuomas. Perhaps when you've made the connection, I can buy you a tuoppi.

Sounds good! I've emailed you.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 22 October 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

ilx needs more successful 'live' dating stories like this one.

But then maybe if we were to have too many they wouldn't be so great, a bit like fishing.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 22 October 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

You should have seen the one that got away, with a police escort.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 22 October 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

get in tuomas!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 October 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

so what WAS the chat up line in the end???

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 22 October 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

A Jacksons double-rerencing opener of "This must be destiny. Can you feel it?"

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Friday, 22 October 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

this is like the fresh prince episode where jazzy gets married

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Friday, 22 October 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

hip hip hooray for tuomas! on his talking to icelandic girl week!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 22 October 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

We've been exchanging text messages during the weekend, and we're still definitely seeing next week, but why oh why can't it be Wednesday already? All this waiting has caused me to come up with all sorts of daydreams, none of which probably match with what'll actually happen.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 24 October 2004 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Aaaaahhhhh, Tuomas, reading your posts on this thread make me sooo happy, in that giddy, happy sort of way when you're really pleased that something good is happening to a groovy person.

Enjoy your daydreaming, and enjoy your crushing, but just remember to relax when the date actually comes! Daydreaming is fine, but keep your expectations realistic - i.e, expect to have a good time, some wonderful conversation and a bit of flirting. (That way things can always go better than expected!)

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Monday, 25 October 2004 07:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I know. It's just that this whole affair has been so surreal, that I'm kinda stuck between "This can't be happening! It's so wonderful!" and "This can't be happening! Something is bound to go wrong!". I certainly need to come up with a more pragmatic approach; it's just a date, nothing more, nothing less.

Anyway, thanks for your kind thoughts.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 25 October 2004 10:17 (twenty-one years ago)

You can use flirty text messages to defuse yr romantic tension, then hopefully you can feel more relaxed on the date. This is all terribly cute.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 25 October 2004 10:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yay Tuomas!! I'm so glad you finally got to meet up. Just try to enjoy the anticipation & try not to get too bogged down in what might happen. Oh & I expect this thread to turn into the Truman Show so we can watch your lives together!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Monday, 25 October 2004 10:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I got goosebumps for you, toumas!

― cºzen (Cozen), Monday, 25 October 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I met her yesterday, and we had a good time, again. Basically we just sat in a pub and talked. I'm still kinda uncertain where all this is leading to, though. The biggest problem is perhaps that we have to speak in English, and even though we're both quite proficient in it, it isn't our native tongue, which does make communication a bit more difficult. Anyway, we're seeing each other again tonight, we're going to see a Finnish-Icelandic dance act.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 October 2004 07:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Try not to worry about where it is going Tuomas, just concentrate on having some fun & enjoy it!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Friday, 29 October 2004 07:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, try speaking in Tongues.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 October 2004 08:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, try speaking in Manderin.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 29 October 2004 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

esperanto

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 October 2004 09:25 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.quakerhillbooks.org/images/products/445-lrg.jpg

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 29 October 2004 09:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Try speaking with tongues. Let your tongue do the talking & she wont be able to resist!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Friday, 29 October 2004 09:28 (twenty-one years ago)

yay for Tuomas!

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Friday, 29 October 2004 09:50 (twenty-one years ago)

where's my hot icelandic date

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 29 October 2004 09:55 (twenty-one years ago)

oh it's ok she was in my pocket

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 29 October 2004 09:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Ohmigod, second date! yessss!!! Definitely time to abandon the mother tongue and go for some hot tonguing action. ;-)

No, seriously, very happy for you, Tuomas!

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Friday, 29 October 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Learn some cool phrases in Icelandic!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 29 October 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think I could, it took me a while just to learn how to pronounce her name...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 October 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Hello = Halló, Góðan daginn
Where do you live? = Hvar áttu heima?
Are there any vacancies for tonight? = Er eitthvað laust í nótt?
Good morning = Góðan daginn

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 29 October 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Vildi þú eins og a líkami nudd?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 29 October 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"My love for you is like a truck, bezerKER/Would you like to making fuck, bezerKER?"

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Friday, 29 October 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Vildi þú eins og a líkami nudd?

I'm not saying this unless you tell me what it means...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 October 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

" minn ást fyrir þú er eins og a vörubíll bezerKER Vildi þú eins og til gerð ríða bezerKER? "

xpost It says "Would you like a body massage?"

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 29 October 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Are there any vacancies for tonight? = Er eitthvað laust í nótt?
Probably not a good idea to ask her this one just yet!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Friday, 29 October 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Does this mean you'll ask her that one?

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 29 October 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a friend who can say "hello pretty girl, would you like to come for a walk and look a the stars?" in six languages.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 October 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Thermo, how do you know Icelandic so well?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 October 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Höyty käännös asepalvelus!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 29 October 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, I'd forgot about those... Though what you're saying is "an ues translation military service".
(I assume "höyty" is supposed to read "hyöty", which means "an use".)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 October 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Ya, they're not exactly perfect!
I had a brief relationship with a girl that lived in Pori and she used to get a kick out of the nonsensical free translation messages I would send her.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 29 October 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

So, I spent the Friday night with her, but I was quite nervous and perhaps drank a bit too much, so I didn't feel like it went very well. After that I was ready to give it all up, maybe we just don't fit together.

However, I still met her today for a glass of soda... By now I didn't feel like I had any need to sharpen up or get nervous, and lo and behold, things went just fine, we had great fun. I'm still not sure whether anything's gonna come out of this, but at least now I can act relaxed with her and just be myself. We'll see, we'll see...

(By the way, I found a picture of her on the InterWeb, but posting it here would be too creepy, wouldn't it?)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, it would be creepy. But we still want you to do it.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess she's not really conventionally pretty, but I find her super beautiful. I'm still waiting for other opinions before posting / not posting anything - I'm really bad at estimating what you should and shouldn't do on the Net.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoit

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't do it. If I were her I would be mighty pissed off with you for showing my picture to a bunch of strangers to pass judgement on.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess you're right. Sometimes I just equate talking in ILX to talking with friends in real life, not remembering that this still is a public forum anyone can read. So, I'm sorry folks, the mystery will have to linger...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

don't post it tuomas!!!!!!

(email to me)

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

jonathan dot williams at google's free email service

― LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm, I guess that would be private enough. Is that your real addy?

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Jon, I don't think I trust you enough, no offense.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

No definetely don't post her picture, don't even ask her if you can.

You can email me the link if you like, ha.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

me too!

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

redbulldozers at g mail please!

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, I'm über curious about this unconventionally beautiful belle of yours aswell, Tuomas.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

as am i. so happy to see the progress of this thread...yay tuomas!

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 1 November 2004 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope Tuomas sends you all the goatse pic.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

(Only because that would be funny.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"Goatse pic"?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Be glad you don't know.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

You don't wanna know, seriously.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I do now.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a picture of a man showing off his remarkably-dilated anal sphincter, to the point where you can see the cilia in his rectum. Also he is apparently wearing a wedding ring but I've never looked at the pic long enough to go beyond the "OH NO OH NO SCREAMING HORROR!" stage.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, that's not the picture I sent.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm seeing her again today, at our feminist history class. At least now I have a good enough reason to sit next to her... I can't believe it's only two weeks since I started this thread, my first post feels like ancient history now.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 06:57 (twenty-one years ago)

How does your story end, LeCoq, if I may ask?

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), October 22nd, 2004.


Awkwardly. We still talk, making plans to hang (she goes to a different Uni) but our schedules never really sync up since summer as we're both insanely busy. A really good, purehearted, *beautiful* person that I really skecthed out by simply not being my normal RADITUDE self. Despite everything, I hope she's really happy and she thinks of me kindly. That's just how it goes.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i want to see the picture as well! if you change it to @gmail.com, this is my real address.

way to go, tuomas. sounds like a good crush!

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't need to see the picture, as I've had negative experiences before with this sort of thing. (Posting pictures of your crush to ILX to have it come back to you. negatively.)

But just relax, Tuomas, and it sounds like things will be OK if you can relax and be yourself, instead of stressing.

― Two-Headed Zombie With No Face (kate), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh. Dear. GOD.

(And now Kate is the most rational poster!)

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd love to see the pic, but Tuomas whatever you do, DO NOT email it or post it here! kthxbye!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd rather T starts dating her (or screws it up, hopefully not tho') before sending out photos willynilly.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I get scared when I'm the most sensible person on ILX.

― Two-Headed Zombie With No Face (kate), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, this thread has become a bit of a spectacle, I guess I shouldn't have talked about such issues so openly in a public forum, even in a fairly trustworthy one like ILX. I feel a bit ashamed of even starting the whole thread, but I guess in the beginning I didn't even think anything could actually come about this long-distance crush. I'm definitely not gonna post any pictures here, nor am I gonna update the thread unless something truly substantial happens. Let's just let this thread slowly fade away from sight, so I don't have to be constantly reminded of my unashamedness, okay?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Define "truly substantial" plsthx

― beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I presume he's not planning to come back in a couple of weeks and go "hey ILE! I finally fucked her!" if that's what you mean.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

You have shattered my palace of dreams.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Like there aren't other ILXors you'd rather read about getting their swerve on.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, I think it's wise on you to keep it on the DL. Good luck broham.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

eleven months pass...
Revive.

I think I'm in a similar situation than when I started this thread, though this time it's a Third World studies course. Also, the girl I'm talking about is Finnish and I know her name, but not much else. Anyway, it's a short course and it'll be over next week - we have only one lecture and the final exam left. What to do?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 13 October 2005 13:12 (twenty years ago)

Be quick!

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 13 October 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

Dude, no way around it, you have to talk to her asap. If the window of opportunity is rapidly closing, you'll only regret not talking to her, and should it not go to plan, at least you won't have to see each other again...

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 13 October 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

what happened to the icelandic girl in the end???

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 13 October 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I know should to talk her, but again I face the same problem: what do you say to someone who you only know from school without sounding awkward? She was on another course with me last winter, but I didn't really talk with her then either. Once I had Margaret Atwood's "Handmaid's Tale" with me in class; she noticed it and said that she was reading it too right then, and we exchanged a few words about the book. Then a couple of months later I spotted her at this goth club, but she was in full goth attire and I felt a bit shy, so I didn't go and talk to her. It doesn't matter if she's a goth though, she seems nice. But yeah, that and the course we're having now is the totality of my interaction with her. She often seems to smile at me, and last week when she came into the classroom, she sat next to me even though there were other free chairs in there too; of course this could all be just my imagination.

Today I toyed on the idea of slipping her a note when I leave the exam, but that'd be a bit creepy, right?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

Just ask her out. You don't need a good reason to ask someone out!

Frankly there's a shallow part of me that prefers the idea of someone randomly coming up to me and asking me out because they think I'm teh hottness, rather than I have a "great personality".

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

tuomas, you're adorable. you're thoughtful. be upfront. meeting someone in a class is pretty low key. you can easily talk about the class, ask her out for coffee or whatever. if you feel more bold, then ask her out for dinner. just be you!

― kelsey (kelstarry), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

don't slip her that underwear photo.

(yet)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

All of this is sound advice, but the problem is that I'm rather shy when approaching (relative) strangers... I don't think I've ever asked someone out unless I've already talked with him before that. That's why I thought about slipping a note.

Maybe I should got to that goth night again sometime, so I could run into her "accidentally". I know a couple of my friends go there (I was with them the last time), and it's only once a month. On the other hand, that'd be rather pathetic. At least with the Icelandic girl I really run into her by accident at that club.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

It doesn't matter if she's a goth

It bloody does

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

Hey, I've known some really nice goths in my lifetime! Maybe Finnish goths are a bit nice than the ones you have.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

This is kind of like that Graham thread, but with a happier ending.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:23 (twenty years ago)

B-b-but I ain't happy!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

Another approach?: A university classmate of mine - shy but cute girl - once told me that her friend had just called her to say she wouldn't be able to go with her to a play that she had tickets for, so would I like to join her? This invitation was very much out of the blue, as we hadn't been sending "signals" to each other previously (I was still getting over a breakup), but it was a charming ruse (entirely fictional premise, of course), and it worked.

― Collardio Gelatinous (collardio), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

As for the Icelandic girl, it just didn't work out - in the end we were a bit too different. We did continue to see each other occasionally, and then after Christmas she left for home, and that was that. Sorry to have ruined such a romantic premise.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 13 October 2005 18:02 (twenty years ago)

Does this really qualify as a "tricky situation"?

― Confounded (Confounded), Thursday, 13 October 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

Five easy steps:

1. I've forgotten my pen, do you have a spare one?
2. By the way, what did you think of that book we were both reading?
3. Keep conversation going for approximately three minutes
4. I have a free period next. I'm meant to be going to the library but I can't be arsed. Want to go to the pub?
5. Would you like to come back to my place and look at my record collection?

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:08 (twenty years ago)

Documented evidence plz of step 5 ever having worked for ANYONE.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:10 (twenty years ago)

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/images/pics/highfidel02.jpg

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:44 (twenty years ago)

NB: if you do not look like john cusack your results may vary wildly.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:45 (twenty years ago)

"It's not going to suck itself" is always a winner

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:11 (twenty years ago)

again, the john cusack rule may apply with regard to that.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:18 (twenty years ago)

Documented evidence plz of step 5 ever having worked for ANYONE.

It worked on me! Worse still, he combined it with "I am friends with Graham Coxon".

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:28 (twenty years ago)

It was probably the latter that actually got me to do the deed with him. I was much younger and very impressionable.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:28 (twenty years ago)

6. "would you like to come back to mine to look at my source code?"

actually worked. once.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:30 (twenty years ago)

mmm. geek sex

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:31 (twenty years ago)

The only "line" that's ever really worked on me was "come back to my studio and look at my etchings."

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:31 (twenty years ago)

Start talking to her during the exam! They'll think you're both cheating and throw you out, then you'll have an excellent excuse to talk to her properly!

(spot the flaws in this plan)

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:34 (twenty years ago)

I want you all to know that I have spent my night copying and pasteing these posts into an at and t voice speaking proram and enjoying the results. My hart is christ-like with victory at the heartwormin gtale of the lovers. Now then!

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:38 (twenty years ago)

tuomas, i think in tricky situations like this, what you really need to do actaually is to rock her a rhyme, that's right. on time. it's tricky. it's tricky tricky tricky ugh but well worth it if you can pull it off.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:43 (twenty years ago)

I still dont know what eventually happene dwith the iceland maiden. did things not work out? that is the sad!

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:47 (twenty years ago)

I think Tuomas needs to suck it up or learn the lesson I learned here:

WOMEN OF ILX: If some random sketchy dude handed you a note that said "HI UR CUET PLZ CALL ME"...

― Jonothong Williamsmang (ex machina), Friday, 14 October 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

That thread is too long, I can't be arsed to read it. What was the lesson? And what's your opinion in general in handing notes? I'd be flattered to get one, but it might be different with girls... Note that I'm not just a random sketchy dude, but someone she's at least spoken to.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 14 October 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)


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