This is the Thread Where I Say Pt. 22: ...and then you'll hear some blood-chilling feminine screams!

http://profiles.myspace.com/users/9491999

Argh, times are tough, many points to ponder, walls of stress caving in upon me and suffocating me....

I have this weird feeling lately that I've done something horribly wrong, everyone knows it, but no one will tell me. Not good to be so paranoid.

I do feel very bad that I've disappeared somewhat lately. I kinda got tired of typing out the same whiny crap all the time so I thought I'd spare everyone. I'm coming to terms with a lot of the things that've caused me trouble in my mind and that can take a lot out of a person. I do sincerely hope everyone is doing ok around here.

xpost, Hi Bryan! Glad to see ya!

I have let fear push me around for too long. Tomorrow, I wear short sleeves to work. No sweater, no parka. Just a shirt. Porky pig style.

Except Huck.

No British people appeared on this thread yet? It's afternoon dudes, get to it! I'm intending not to go Barry today like I did yesterday, which is probably a good mood - if feeling pissy shortens your lifespan I definitely lost a few weeks of decrepitude over the last few days.

(hoho I am so funny)

Orbitmy deepest sympathies are with you. Big hugs coming from the UK for you.
Mandee I have to say, I would've have loaned you $20 for sure, a girl gotta dance!
Luna I hope your bad mood has passed. Any news on your friend? I hope he is doing ok. *hugs*
Dee you are such a sweetheart, I hope we can chat over a bottle (or two) of red wine one day!
SamI hope you are ok lady wherever you are.
Huckyou know I love you more than my trainers! *mwah*
Bryan good to see you here my friend. How is your dad doing? How are you doing?
Mark Unleash the barry beast!
Sarah How is your work going? I hope you are able to find something else soon.
nick Had any yummy pizzas recently?
Casuistry Any chance of a cd?
Chris Keep up the lurve making my friend! Oh yeah baby!
Archel You are a darlin & deserve the best of things.
Ned Hey lovely how's it going?
Tuomas glad you got to meet your girl you dawg!
SGS How's the jobhunting going? did you make those calls?
If I haven't mentioned you, I am sorry & I hope you are well!
Sorry for such a big post, I just feel like I haven't done one of those for a while!

(What I didn't understand on the other thread was why she was looking at you slightly quizzically? Are you a minor celebrity? Do you share a sordid history? You're a very good looking man, but it can't just be that, can it?)

Who is Claire G? (too lazy to google obviously)

http://www.fhfilms.co.uk/M%20-%20Clare%20Grogan.jpg

"Teenage Kicks" by The Undertones is the song that John Peel claimed was his favourite song in history. He wanted its lyrics carved into his gravestone.

Also, why oh why did I think coming in early would be a good idea? Somehow it always translates into more work in my in-box.

Sorry I'm just talking about myself. That lady looks annoying.

No hi right back atcha Chris and I totally forgot to send you my address. I am shitty. I'll see if I can find it.

Julia How are you hon? I hope things are going well with you & i know I owe you yet another email, but then you know how crap I am! *hugs*
Penelope I am so glad that you have to decided to start contributing to this thread. I hope you are well.

remy Hi, how are you? How's school? How's it not getting more than 20 hours sleep in the past week?

Sorry I haven't checked in for a while. I've been too busy for ILE.

http://www.boxerrescue.com/old_images/kids_Andrea%20hugging%20Remy.JPG

I hate these petty bitches.

x-post - Luna, I have to punch in on a time card.

I don't have a cart!!! Where would I keep it? Also, why not call me BEFORE the deliveries pile up beyond belief? Fuck, I hate my job.

xpost, yeah, if I had a cart, I probably wouldn't have been at my desk. I would have been riding the open hallways. Finding America.

http://www.littleleadsoldiers.com/history/soap-box.jpg

"They took my truck" does sound more like an article rather than a letter to the editor, though.

Also, Pink: A CD of the radio show? It came out a bit, eh, weirdly mixed (my vocals are way too low). But you can download a sloppy rendition of one song at http://www.tapemountain.com/tm3/grandma.html

I'm gonna wait for paperback (or maybe someone will get it for me for Christmas, hint hint).

I didn't ask him who he was. And I've met M@tthew a few times before, but he's one of those people who looks hella different each time. But all signs point to yes.

Oh, I misread -- I thought you were making your pitch for the symphony column and were going to call it "All Things Medieval". But yes, that column would be rad.

i can't imagine using that nickname with anyone but a younger sibling-type person.

I really, really, really do wish I had had the chance to have had my musical tastes influenced by John Peel, after quickly scanning the tribute thread. He might have enabled me to discover all sorts of artists I'm only just now getting to know. I guess this is an even stronger sign that my life's circumstances have really sucked in terms of my ability to have a large amount of musical knowledge, which might have helped save me from this maddening fan-related heartache I'm going through.

I'm relieved, though, that my Voice of Reason talked over things political with me. I'm slightly surprised to find that I have more confidence talking about politics than about music, because at least I don't have to be running to Google every other minute to find out who some politican is or was. Anyway, I was conflicted about whom to vote for in a particular race and my Voice of Reason gave me some good pointers that I know will lead to my being able to make up my mind before Election Day. (Someone queue up Arcadia for me, please.)

Orbit, I hope you were able to draw up enough motivation to make it to that meeting!

Chris, I thought the TM3rds song was quite a lot of fun to listen to!

Huck, the person who took your chair just as soon as you stood up has the balls of an elephant, since it was done almost literally right under your nose. Whoa. Hopefully karma will kick that individual in their elephant-sized balls.

Julia! Yay for Julia being here!

And yeah, I too will miss certain people after only a couple of hours, so missing them after two whole weeks is absolutely normal, in my book.

Okay, time to ask for help in thinking up a new ILX ID for me! I'd like to have a TON of suggestions thrown my way (e-mail only, please, to keep this thread's post count from going out of control [wishful thinking, maybe]) so that I can wade through a great many suggestions. The person who'd pick the one I liked the most will get a mix CD with songs I hope you'll like (because they'd be songs *I* love love love).

http://www.dcresource.com/reviews/panasonic/dmc_fz20-review/camera-front-angled.jpg

Optical Image Stabilizing is a godsend; 12x optical zoom is a little gratuitous but it still takes great pics even at that zoom level; it's got tons of auto settings but full manual control as well; it takes beautiful night shots; it looks like a thousand bucks; and it's blissfully heavy and solid. Thanks, Dad! You even remembered to buy extra memory. Well done!

http://www.dcresource.com/reviews/panasonic/dmc_fz20-review/index.shtml

Hi Pink (replying to your greeting that was about a billion posts back). I'm ok I s'pose though I'm feeling a bit wonky as I'm weaning myself off of Effexor right now. My dad is so-so as his asslick doctor refuses to remove his feeding tube so he can't eat very well (stuff gets caught behind the tube where it goes down his throat causing him to gag). They won't remove the tube until he starts eating more so he's a bit stuck. With the dumb tube going up his nose he can't feed himself as he shakes so much that the spoon keeps hitting the tube making a mess. Poor little guy.

Anyway, I'm mostly happy about the World Series, but I feel bad for Larry Walker. I guess it's not so bad for him since if he hadn't been traded he'd be fishing right now.

I've never been to Flin Flon. I've never been further north in Manitoba than Swan River, which is about 4 hours drive south of Flin Flon. Never had any reason to go there other than that it's there. I guess I'm a dumbohead.

Heeee for some reason this tickles me. I have this visual of an alarm clock chirruping here and there just to be annoying =)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/biondino/mycar.jpg

Welcome back Bryan, I missed knowing that your giant spoon was on the thread.

Dee, I hope you're feeling better and not getting too stressed out. Just remember how precious each day really is and how trivial things are when compared to death. That sounds heavy but it's the lesson I've learned in the past week. Now that I'm over the initial freak out of devastation (and thanks to all for their support) I've got a keen awareness that most shit just DOESN'T MATTER and that humans are so, so fragile and need to be forgiven and indulged their foibles early anf often. Greg's death has changed my view of life as I move into week two of being without him.

Can anyone tell me the deal with US women's sizing? What's the equivalent in the UK?

I know a guy who's FROM Flin Flon!

hello all! i found out the other day that i can't vote. i'd applied for an absentee ballot, which i NEED, but no dice, since i'd registered by mail in this county. i'd voted and such in the next county over, but they don't recognize that, you HAVE to vote or register in person in the county you're voting in. if i lived a fucking half block away, i'd still be in my old county, but whatever. i've already argued to the bureaucrats about it. grr.

otherwise things might be looking up a little bit maybe, after a really bad few days.

I applied for another job last night. I don't apply for jobs very often because I am picky (and the rest I'm not qualified for anyway). Did I mention I have my job today?

I hate you!

Either Jesus is an unflappable motherfucker, or Heaven is a realm of awkward silences.

We have little reliable information about this martyr, who has been honored since ancient times, and whose name is included in the canon of the Mass. Young, beautiful and rich, Agatha lived a life consecrated to God. When Decius announced the edicts against Christians, the magistrate Quinctianus tried to profit by Agatha's sanctity; he planned to blackmail her into sex in exchange for not charging her. Handed over to a brothel, she refused to accept customers. After rejecting Quinctianus' advances, she was beaten, imprisoned, tortured, her breasts were crushed and cut off. She told the judge, "Cruel man, have you forgotten your mother and the breast that nourished you, that you dare to mutilate me this way?" One version has it that Saint Peter healed her. Imprisoned further, then rolled on live coals, she was near death when an earthquake stuck. In the destruction, the magistrate's friend was crushed, and the magistrate fled. Agatha thanked God for an end to her pain, and died.

http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/indexsnt.htm

Also known as
Ines; Ines del Campo; Ynez
Memorial
21 January
Profile
At age 12 or 13 Agnes was ordered to sacrifice to pagan gods and lose her virginity by rape. She was taken to a Roman temple to Minerva (Athena), and when led to the altar, she made the Sign of the Cross. She was threatened, then tortured when she refused to turn against God. Several young men presented themselves, offering to marry her, whether from lust or pity is not known. She said that to do so would be an insult to her heavenly Spouse, that she would keep her consecrated virginity intact, accept death, and see Christ. Martyr Foster-sister of Saint Emerentiana. Mentioned in first eucharistic prayer. On her feast day two lambs are blessed at her church in Rome, and then their wool is woven into the palliums (bands of white wool) which the pope confers on archbishops as symbol of their jurisdiction.
Died
beheaded and burned, or tortured and stabbed to death, or stabbed in the throat (sources vary) on 21 January 254 or 304 (sources vary) at Rome; buried beside the Via Nomentana in Rome
Name Meaning
chaste; lamb; pure one
Patronage
affianced couples; betrothed couples; bodily purity; chastity; Children of Mary; Colegio Capranica of Rome; crops; engaged couples; gardeners; Girl Scouts; girls; rape victims; diocese of Rockville Centre, New York; virgins
Representation
crown of thorns; lamb; woman with long hair and a lamb, sometimes with a sword at her throat; woman with a dove which holds a ring in its beak; woman with a lamb at her side

I don't know anything about all those catholic folk, though I did go on a catholic pilgrimage once by pure accident.

WHT HAS THOU FORSAKEN ME, VICTORIA?

Take your secret and cram it up your ass.

I'm back at home after an early meeting, and back in my furry slippers. I feel like "ahhhhhh" and I might even make potato leek soup if it rains enough.

I cannot be alone in this, ladies.

PS I got my comic and I'm more happy with a comic book than I've been since I was 9.

this made me laugh.

if your show is on the internet, i'll listen to it.

(I did have two bras that came with underwires, but I performed minor surgery on those buggers and now they're wire-less. Funny, those "wires" are actually plastic -- or at least the ones from the bras I have came with plastic "wires". Um, these would be Wal-Mart bras, not the Victoria's Secret thingamabobs. No, I'd probably give those Victoria's Secret clerks nightmares, and I don't like giving anyone nightmares unless they've properly pissed me off, which a VS clerk couldn't have done, not yet anyway.)

(Yay for extremely lengthy parenthetical statements!)

Catholicism... ah yes, the whole "saint" thing. Hopefully it's clear to everyone that Catholics don't worship the saints, we just treat them as conduits between humanity and our Holy Ones. Sorta like celestial messengers and advocates. Mary the Mother of God (called that because we believe in a triune God -- God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit) is (hey, ask Tep about the whole "triune" thing) -- anyway, is considered holy because she *was* the "Mother of God", after all, but we don't worship her. We just revere her. Yes, there is a difference.

Martin, deity bless you for being who you are.

Orbit, maybe you're cursed with the blessing of having been exposed to such a large amount of reading material, music, etc., that all of it has overwhelmed your senses and as a (temporary) defense it's disallowing you from getting enthused by it all... ? Maybe it's hoping this ennui will allow you to step away from all that stimuli, taste the boring and mundane, and then come back from that vacation more than ready to handle all that deliciously attractive goodness. At least that's how I see it.

Tep -- well, hm, you do make a point there, too. I'll need to really study the early saints, though. I think you're probably more knowledgable about the Catholic faith than I am at this point.

I'm so, so happy re: the Red Sox. Gem, the reason there's so much cause for celebration here is because the Red Sox haven't won the World Series in over eighty years, meaning there are senior citizen lifelong fans of this team who have never seen the team win the World Series. So it's sorta like they've automatically been the underdogs in this contest for a very, very long period of time, which makes their win AWESOME.

xpost: Aw, Jeremy, you are so, so, so sweet. Thank you. You guys deserved the World Series win. Seriously.

Trayce -- I'm not sure what to say about that. Um, aside from -- why?

(Chris, OMG! Thanks for not going there!)

(I was just trying to think in behavioral terms, e.g. the cat's aloof and mysterious nature, which may only be aloof and mysterious to people such as myself, i.e. "dog people". *laugh*)

Last night I did 2 hours study, I was very impressed with that considering I had a headache & felt exhausted. It's strange how I can find so many excuses why i can't study! it doesn't help when molly lies on my text book & mungo tries to chew the end of pen whilst i am writing with it! Aww they are so cwute!

Back at work today after yesterday's funeral. It's only the third one I've been to, but it was as good as it could have been, I think, except that I barely spoke to my cousins who I haven't seen in years. I guess we have nothing in common. Nice to be off work for a day, too :)

So how far can you catapult an orange, Pink?

Right across to the next village!

http://www.nonstoplaughs.com/pictures/punishkitty_jpg.jpg

hi nick.

yesterday i was eating a piece of fruit and they have those little stickers on them, they're really such pointless little stickers. i was just hanging out alone, so i stuck it to my forehead, because...well, to amuse myself or something. and proceeded to forget it was there, so it actually did manage to amuse me when i discovered it later. dork.

How are things in N.O.?

But Indiana is not that bad. It's just too far north and un-home-like. The plus side is that I have a local butcher I can depend on, and my girlfriend has agreed in writing to name our first-born child (male or female) Theo David Schilling Varitek Ourlastnames, in honor of the 2004 Red Sox. And one of these days I'll get around to going to Chicago, and meet Nick and Sarah and oops and whoever else is around there (Kenan moved there, right? And jaymc is there? I'm so out of the loop).

MMMMmmmmm a good apple is a thing to behold!

Orbit! Tep! Hi there! Yay! You're here!

Hi there to everyone else, too, esp to the always-sweet duo of Pink and Archel! Even though Archel's temporarily aft (= away from thread). And Julia! Hon, I'm thinking that we should probably all stick fruit stickers on our foreheads at least every once in awhile, because that sounds positively silly, and... well, I know I need to inject a little more silliness into my life.

and it cracks me up every time, it just so seems like a parody or something.

what would the "or else" be?

Julia, I'm so going to have to keep my eyes peeled for that commercial. Sounds like a riot and a half! I mean, I love trucks and all, sure, but yeah, there's more than a measure of truth behind the whole thing about guys who seem to think that owning a truck is a measure of their toughness, when all it says is that they just own a truck, period. They may be able to pick up several 2x4s, a large floor rug, several bags of potting soil, several plants, and several bags of groceries at the same time, but that's not a sign of machoness, of uberguy-ness. Hell, last time I checked, anyone can pick up 2x4s at Home Depot, not just the Rough & Tumble Guys.

*ahem* And thus ends my rant here.

Anyway -- Chris? Point well taken. Though trying to figure out who to visit first is... well... tougher than trying to figure out who to vote for on November 2. For me, anyway.

I am so getting confused trying to explain this! My brain sucks lately.

Saskatchewan musicians to choose song for province’s centennial celebration
REGINA (CP) — A blues rocker, a maestro and a soulful songstress have been chosen to select the song for Saskatchewan’s upcoming centennial celebration.
Saskatchewan-born blues singer Colin James; Victor Sawa, conductor of the Regina Symphony Orchestra; and Andrea Menard, a singer, songwriter, actress and playwright will pick the winner of the competition for the song.
Carol Gay Bell, artistic director of Saskatchewan Express — the touring musical group in charge of the competition — said the judges represent different genres of the music world.
“They’re all very skilled musicians and certainly are capable of adjudicating music in any style,“ she said.
Bell said the purpose of the competition is to discover a song that will capture the spirit of the province and its people.
“We want a song that everyone will be able to sing,” she said.
All musical styles are acceptable, but the song should appeal to a wide audience and be suitable for performance by people of all ages.
The song should also be no longer than 3 1/2 minutes, Bell said.
The contest is open to everybody.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re an established songwriter or if this is your first song — this is an opportunity to get your song out there and heard.”
The winning tune will be recorded and distributed throughout Saskatchewan in January. The successful songwriter will also receive $2,500 cash.
Songwriters have until Nov. 15 to enter their compositions. The Saskatchewan Centennial 2005 website at www.sask2005.ca has more information about the competition.

I HATE work today. There's this one sales rep lady who always makes my heart sink. She called this morning with a quick question. I KNEW I shouldn't have answered the phone. I told her I wasn't sure, but I thought the answer was ... She says, but we can't do that, let's do THIS... And I say ok. And as soon as I get off the phone with her, I double check with a co-worker. No, she says, you have to do it like THIS. So then I call bitch sales lady back and say, "Sorry, you should really do what I said originally. And she said, it's too late! I already faxed and mailed the proposals. I can't tell them I made a mistake because it would look horrible! That's why I called you first before proceeding. GRRRR...

I should probably just stick this crap on my I HATE WORK thread for now on.

Anyway, yeah, yesterday was alot of fun. But then I came into work and I have WAY too much on my plate and it's not Halloween candy. Only... let's see... 6 more hours!

Here I sit waiting on the tow truck, wondering how the hell they are going to get my car out of here. I live on the beach and so the parking is insane and the cottages have little driveways paralell to the road, so my car is parked right under my living room window. He's going to have to drive over the sidewalk, into my neighbor's bushes and God knows if this will even work.

Then I get to sit at the dealership for God knows how many hours. Have I bitched enough?

How about Al Frankenstein as a costume?

Can someone photoshop me into a sailor's outfit please? Complete with hat?

I love all of Texas' quirks, the arrogance of "Don't Mess With Texas", the Alamo, the whole thing. Think of it as gentle, knowing teasing, not as bad comments about Texas.

I have bad comments about Texas! Woo-hoo! Over here!

I feel totally gyped today. I thought for sure there would be loads of Halloween candy by the coffeemaker, but instead there were only miniature Snickers S'mores bars which were gone in like 5 seconds.

http://www.eskimolabs.com/hp/

http://atar.mscc.huji.ac.il/~msdanet/cyberpl@y/BRANDO.JPG

ihttp://www.dancingmonica.com/imagefile/brandos.jpg

Jaymc saw through me.. what I meant was I never thought young Brando was that hot, but always had a burning desire to make nasty oily monkey love with the walrus he became.

-- Kenan (fluxion2...), October 29th, 2004 12:59 PM. (later)

xpost

Now I'm going to vomit.

I'm getting far too into this rectifying QuickBooks project I'm working on today.

hahahahahahahahaha, I kill me.

I'm tired of working my ass off. I didn't have much of one to begin with.

Kenan, Are you going to the show tonight too?

Sorry you're feeling blue luna. At least your car starts.

I just need a little Friday lovin', I guess.

WAKE UP! Hello?! Where is everybody?

(Good night!)

I just dipped in here looking for Orbit's email address. I've only just gotten both my two computers and data (including mailboxes) back so I've lost touch with all but the physically near. I have aim but I usually shut it down when I notice it's up b/c that's how one of my computers took an amazing, collosal, awful crash back in July.

So yeah, sorry that I've lost touch. Ilx is really too much for me these days. Couldn't dream of keeping up. The only online community thing I really do these days is MySpace. I rejoined when I realized that all of my friends and in fact all of Dallas's social scene was orchestrated there (our local rag named it best place to hear local music) so if you're still there and want to add me please do.

http://home.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user&Mytoken=20041030040842

hope you are all doing excellent.

-Sam

http://dallasobserver.com/issues/2004-10-28/music/music2.html

But anyway -- Sam! You're back!

Bryan, I'm so sorry you're going through the roomie strife that seems to be plaguing this forum community. Sympathy hugs from me to you.

(I can't promise how long I'll be back. I can't promise anythign these days.)

-I'm not sure if she's making fun of fan-fic. I suppose all it's really doing is acknowledging it but for me, knowing how huge a world it is esp for female fans (and this band) I thought it was a positive nod, not a knock.

-a frivoulous review? hell of a lot more interesting than others that will be written. Will grab a lot more eyes that's for sure.

-making fun of John Taylor? I don't know him that well anymore. . .

-taking the altar of rock writing too lightly? thank god.

It's okay. Life's unpredictable that way. Have to learn to not expect anything, really. I've definitely learned that lesson.

(xpost) I'd actually have preferred it if this WAS a parody of fan fiction. I mean, yeah, this does also leave the negative impression that I mentioned earlier, but at least it could've been more entertaining to read. The other issues you think I might've had about this piece are... well... not points I was thinking about before. First off, I didn't even consider that piece a "review". Secondly, I don't care for defending individual band members. Third... well, DOES it serve as a piece that WOULD "take the altar of rock writing too lightly"?

adolescent in nature? well that's the point. of course it's delusional. that's the joke.

>And don't you think this gives a negative impression of the fan base as a whole?

I don't think it's meant to represent the fanbase. It's a record review. (but yeah, if you're asking, Durannies do have a stereotype along these lines)

I don't know. . .I'm not into fanfic (anymore) so don't feel the need to defend it but it often *is* delusional and adolescent. and there's not neccesarily anything wrong with that. Those things don't negate intelligence or worth of opinion. Fanfic (esp. band-oriented) is distintcly female which made taking that into "mainstream" rock criticism so fantastic to me. Rock writing can be something than the what we see on ILM, praise god.

As far as a quality of a review, if she had thought it was worth one at all I don't think she would've written it this way. (sorry)

Hmm. Reading that with Sarah's article held to the side I guess all I would have to say is that everyone experiences music differently. Your relationship to Duran Duran isn't going to be the same as the next person's and nobody's is the "correct" version. Interpretating, appreciating, and being a fan of music is a very personal experience. Nobody else should be able to change that for you.

(btw, I would not equate growing up in the 80s as being spoiled. Just getting older quicker.)

And... the fact that those stereotypes exist.... :( :( :( :(

Your relationship to Duran Duran isn't going to be the same as the next person's and nobody's is the "correct" version. Interpretating, appreciating, and being a fan of music is a very personal experience. Nobody else should be able to change that for you.

How can I do that, though, when everywhere I turn I find nothing but negative reactions to my fandom? Either I'm wrong for having taken seriously a group that NO ONE is supposed to take seriously, or I'm wrong for being some silly little girl who obv doesn't come from the RIGHT demographical generation and who's only been a fan for a SHORT while (because God forbid I ever get into a band when I'm actually *gasp* A PRETEEN). So, again, lose-lose.

I could not wait for the Beastie Boys' second album to come out. When it did, Paul's Boutique was a critical and popular flop, but I loved it. It's all I listened to. I remember sitting apart from a group of kids at lunch once (gee surprise), headphones on and being asked what I was listening to. I told them and got, "What? Nobody listens to them anymore," in reply. Eh. Of course this story ends differently when the Beasties' popularity later grew, to paraphrase the Village Voice, large enough to threaten blocking the sun.

I think what it boils down to Dee is your taste is your taste. You don't need anyone's approval to like what you like. Nobody can tell you your thoughts and your opinions are wrong. Repeat till believed.

The ultimate indie-cred is to like a band nobody else does, right?

d'oh xpost with Orbit

(btw Dee, I'm not implying that nobody likes duran duran)

I think part of what you're saying (esp on yr blog) relates directly to your experience in Duran's fan community. Am I correct?

FWIW, if that element of the fandom is becoming negative for you, step away. I rarely, if ever, relate to the fan communities of the bands I love anymore. I used to be all about it (esp. when I was into Blur) but too many negative experiences burned me. I think while the community aspect (like any community drawn together by common experiences) can be very positive the idea that your relationship to the music is unique can get lost (or beaten down and killed) in the hive mind, you know?

I've dipped my toe into the Beastie community recently just b/c of their tour and my crazy, just like the old days, last minute trip to Detroit this week. The Elliott Smith community I avoid like the fucking plague. I've heard of much dissent there in the past year and that's not something I could deal with. I interact with a handful of other fans on a very limited basis and I found these off-line. Forgot about that way to meet people. :)

Their current show is hands down the most incredible concert I've ever seen. Worth it as long as we don't get jumped or jacked or something. I'd die a martyr to my fandom! ;)

But anyway. I was able to, with the assistance of someone I was chatting with a bit earlier in the midst of this conversation, distill what it is that I've been searching for and wanting and yearning wrt this whole issue:

Me: Honey, I guess I just want what the people off Sinister and the people off ILX who are all rock critics and musicians and creative-type people have, you know?
Me: Shared respect, camraderie, that sort of thing.

*sighs* Why is it so much easier for me to figure out who to vote for this coming Tuesday than it is to settle this particular issue once and for all?

My monday has been eventful--I just scheduled an interview (well, more like informational meeting, I keep telling myself) at this place I would love to work. Good news but I am so nervous already!

Aw thanks Pink. Really I'm worried they'll tell me I'm not skilled enough to even volunteer there...I've gotta make some impressive-looking things in the next couple of days I think. You asked me way upthread if I'd called those other places, and I'm embarrassed to say that no, I chickened out--this is my top choice of workplaces, though, so perhaps it's sheer luck they replied. If the interview doesn't go well, I'll need to get the nerve to call the others.

Glad to see you hanging around a bit, Sam - I hope you can at least drop in on us reasonably often, if only on this thread.

I like Bowie. I like the Faint. I like Neil Young, Van Morrison, Christina Aguilera, Nina Simone, and Duke Ellington. I don't have the slightest idea what the respective communities of their fans are like, but I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that those communities -- by virtue of being communities -- have little to do with the average listener or the average fan.

I know variations of this have been pointed out before, on this thread and undoubtedly elsewhere, so frankly I doubt the problem has anything to do with the band or their fans, and more to do with your need to feel unfortunate.

I often forget to check this thread, it just seems so long. Apologies if I don't respond to stuff.

I don't think I knew Dee when she made her Dallas quest.

My Motown trip has become less risky. I was going to go up there in my car whether anyone wanted to go or not. Then I realized I would no longer have a car and made a rental reservation. Then I realized I couldn't make an 18-hr straight drive by myself so started looking for someone to go with me. Then I realized although I probably could charm my way into a sold-out venue better safe than sorry and ebayed some tickets. But I still don't have a hotel wooo! I'm so wild! (I am kind of glad though that my bigger brother - and one of his friends - are coming so they can protect me from thugs.)

Dee, don't assume there's always respect for those people you mentioned! ;)

ok, here's one reason I've avoided this place. Got to write on chalkboards now. bye kids.

FUCK them. There is no sense of community there, only competition over arcane stuff like 'did the rockstar look at me'/'no, bitch, he looked at me' and who's got the dance remix in German, plus added junior-high backstab and backchat about who can be the best FOLLOWER. Yuck. Any time I have made friends with people based on a shared love of the same group, I've always lost interest in the people who didn't have anything other than the group/artist in their lives.

I remember overhearing such conversations/arguments in various Anglophile record shops, generally between scrofulously ugly young women with poor hygiene and zero social skills (in Minneapolis the two that trolled around doing this were known as the Dopamiene Twins). It would be all I could do NOT to point out that sex with Duran or Gene Loves Jezebel or whoever JUST WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN, due to lack of interest in consumers without personalities or just for being winners of the Bulldog Chewing A Wasp prize. Frankly it's like watching drunk, mentally ill amputees with a psychological age of 14 wrestle for pennies and if you're dissatisfied with these people, Dee, it's just proof that you're alive and a grown-up.

Either way, today's my favourite day, because ALL THE CANDY IS NOW AT CLEARANCE PRICES!!!

Really pleased to hear the good news about your mum, Pink!

I am just listening to some scary-looking Finnish ladies called 'Branded Women', and thought of Tuomas (are you there??) My boss's boyfriend brought this CD back from a music conference in Helsinki, not sure I like it much tbh.

I have learned two new Japanese words today, and can write a sentence in hiragana without it looking like an epilectic spider died on the page. Am now debating how one would go about cataloguing a samurai sword *leafs through 'realia' chapter of manual*. Trying to somehow combine both my courses is proving... interesting.

sam, good to see you! pink, so glad your mother's okay!

(ie: Congrats to two Sarahs from another Sarah)

And Howdy, Sam!

It's getting dark out there. Winter is dead atmospheric. I'm liking it so far*

*partly because it hasn't actually got consitently below 50 degrees yet, Allah be praised

xpost

Well, a girl has to get by on her feminine wiles!

pink, yeah the texana is a good email for me. I use myspace mostly though b/c I'm lazy and it's remedial. Click on picture. Mail. etc.

I've recently begun to love Payday candy bars. I find this odd.

We didn't a single trick-or-treater, but we did get a few get-out-the-vote canvassers. I kinda prefer them.

(And yay to Pinxarah!)

i was always partial to the 1000 grand bars, with the crispies. i don't have any candy around though this halloween.

i might have a non-familyish thanksgiving, which is actually kind of a happy thing...

But I've been warned that both our guests are sheltered eaters, which is something I have a low opinion of. We'll see how they like dinner.

(Apropos of nothing on this thread, but something that came to mind because of thinking about family Thanksgivings and other social nuisances: how many threads about "what do I do in this sitcom-like social situation" are there? I swear to Christ ILE is just a beehive buzzing with emotional retards.)

Well, for well-balanced people like ME it is anyway; obviously the rest of them are freaks who can't tie their own shoelaces without writing to an agony aunt first.

"How do I get out of going to a party because I'm a social cripple who can't say 'no thank you'" isn't just the novelty of minor differences.

(I'm not sure about all the threads, of course.)

paydays are just peanuts and caramels. I always thought no chocolate =not candy bar but my adult self finds them quite tasty. I also used to abhor nuts which has changed obv.

"Sorry, I don't go to the Christmas party. It's kind of a tradition."

I think "sigh" sums up my life a lot better, actually.

Does this mean you won't be bringing beer?

I wish they'd report each vote individually (ie: the popular vote, not electoral). So, you'd have a screen with numbers going up quickly on both sides. At least I'd have something to look at it. I went to CNN's site and it just says NO DATA YET all over the place. BO RING.

My stomach is in knots about this election, bleh!

xpost. I GUESS, Chris. I'm just impatient. :-D

I'm relying on it to get me through the day.

damn, there goes the lunch bell. These next two are my "bad" classes.

I'm trying to rush around a bit to get ready for my lil' detroit trip which is getting stressful. Got a t-shirt embrodiered last night which said "Dallas Loves the B-Boys", I figure if I'm driving 18 hrs I'd like to do my best to get attention for it. The shop I went to was a little one near my school that does shirts and stuff for black colleges and greeks. They normally don't do one off, walk-in orders but I think they might have been amused by me - cute lil' white girl getting a tee to go see cute lil' white rappers. I felt kind of like a dork but they were nice to me.

I still have to go to HOme Depot and get some timers for Chingy's lights and clean my place. I'm going to ask my stalker to come in and feed him I think which I'm not crazy about but there really isn't anyone else.

And then on the school side I have to get this term's grades in and do this ridiculous test analysis that's due Friday. (we must go through the test question by question, get the percentage answered for each choice, break it down by sex/race/and socio/econ., go back to test questions and give our theory as to why wrong answers were chosen, and say what we'll do in class to fix that. For 40 questions. This is why teachers leave.)

bleh, sorry to dump. it's hard for me to keep up with the flow of conversation here. Glad I learned the word "Publican" though. :)

Yeah, this is what Scantron/ParScore are for. To do this by hand is torture. I feel your pain. The part about guessing why sounds like fun, though.

The combination of presidential elections and the internet always makes me hate the British for a few weeks.

these were done on scantron! part of it is definitely a busywork assignment. Overall it's extremely tedious and annoying.

It's just one of those things where the whole "oh, cultural differences are so ICKY" trope of ILE comes up -- like the endless threads on pop vs coke, potayto vs potahto, whether or not to rinse dish soap, all that nonsense. People tend to sound very dim when they're watching foreign events -- it's just as true when the tables are turned, of course, I just see it less often because Americans aren't as interested in other countries (or their own country, outside their zip codes of comfort).

Canadians are an exception anyway, as far as I can tell. Americans will probably always be baffled by curling, but Canadians are pretty with it.

First past the post always seems really complicated and hard to explain, but then I think through the American system, with all its overlapping layers of intent, and systems left over from when we wanted things we're not sure we still want, and so on, and realize that probably everything's complicated.

I just got back from the 7-11 and neighbourhood coffee shop. The coffee shop is a terrible place, and since I almost never smoke in my apt, I keep meaning to spend more time there. But it's too awful. Lord, I've become so gentrified in my late 20s. The thing is, my neighbourhood isn't just home to pimps, hookers, and predominantly low-income families, across the alley from me is the hospital that houses the city's only psychiatric ward. And since the health district won't allow smoking in the hospital, a lot of the day-patients congregate at the coffee shop.
I like a good coffee shop where I can put on my headphones and disappear into a book or some work and smoke up a storm, but this is a mandatory participation place. I've got no kick against the mentally ill, not at all, but it's not a place to concentrate. The whole province is going smoke-free on New Year's Day, so I should really quit before that anyway. I just, I love a good cigarette every now and then, and I also love the 10-15 mediocre ones in between.

Their coffee's no great shakes, but I've had worse, and it's only $1 for a medium take out, and I'm low on sugar and won't be going to the grocery store for another couple of days, so I've got to save the sugar for my morning coffee. I'm supposed to be planning my dag-blast radio show, but I'm also supposed to be writing some articles about bands I was excited about LAST WEEK. This week, I'm not interested in music.

I think I'm going to avoid all news coverage so that I can be surprised when I get to work tomorrow and read the paper.

In other news, my kitties are at the vets today havign their 'no baby' operations. I am really nervous for them, I cried a bit when I had to leave them there. :-(

A lot of it, too, shouldn't be credited to Bush so much as blamed on the Democratic party. Not only are the Democrats, as an institution, wishy-washy and lacking any real leadership or identity, but the American left is plagued by people like Michael Moore or folks who take seriously William Gibson's warning that "this is the election to ensure that there are elections in the future" -- the right does not seem to suffer as much from trying to keep its wackos happy, but the left absolutely loses moderates because its crazies are too often its public face. I think a lot of the excitement over Obama Barack (who won the Illinois Senate race last night, I assume; I just got up and am catching up on the news) is because he's intelligent, he's reasonable, and he's charismatic without Clinton's slickness (so far as we can tell so far). It's a combination we've missed, believe me.

Anyway election LALALALALALABABYKITTENSBABYKITTENS

I have to leave for my job interview/meeting/thing in like an hour and I'm STRESSIN'.

Here's a little story to remind myself to relax. Let me tell you about my last real interview for a real job: I had scheduled 2 in the same day, one in the morning at like 10, one in the late afternoon, both with non-profit science journals. I got a good night's sleep, got up and put on my new suit and new shoes and horrible nude hose, and set off to the first in good time. The woman interviewing me had given me directions, describing it as a 5-minute walk over a small hill from the metro stop. I ended up following her directions and getting lost on the HUGE National INstitutes of Health campus in Maryland, wandering around desperately looking for a payphone so I could call her to explain, while my heels had started bleeding from my new shoes. I ended up finding the way there, which was actually a 20-minute walk from the station, and arrived an HOUR late. At that point, I was thinking, okay well my chances of getting this job are shot, but fuckit, I'm going to do the interview anyway. If nothing else it'll be practice for the afternoon. I thought it went alright, she was nice and apologetic about her directions, I was taken around the small office and introduced to people, hoping they didn't notice my bloody feet, and then she very kindly drove me back to the metro stop. At home I changed into less-good but comfortable shoes and went off to the afternoon one, where I spent most of the time mired in an HR office doing stupid tests and rewriting my CV on their forms, and barely talked to the hyperactive guy who would've been my boss. The HR woman I dealt with was rude and argumentative about points on my CV.

Anyway, that night I got home and was nursing my heels when I got a call from the first place, offering me the job at a salary above what I'd been prepared to accept! Result! I think during the interview I relaxed because I thought I'd fucked it up and was just like, oh well whatever, about the whole thing. And then I had the pleasure of calling the evil HR woman the next day and telling her I'd taken another position and could she withdraw my application. Heh.

I like patterned tights.

Oh dear Jocelyn, why's that?

Yeah, it's just not as much fun as rape, is it?

Louisiana elected its first Republican Senator since Reconstruction, which is also disappointing, although not surprising.

That documentary sounds like a good allegory for the election!

You know that coworker of mine who is slow and was having a baby with his slow wife? Well, it turns out she was lieing about going to the doctor all along. Yesterday they actually went to a real doctor and found out she was just menopausal. She was saying she was in her 9 month. It's kind of sad, but also I'm really relieved about that.

I don't think this election was a travesty. If anything, the way our electoral process works (including registration) is fucked but that will take effort on the citizens' parts to fix. You can't just sit back and expect others to fix your problems.

And also, did it occur to people that maybe just more people who care enough to put forth the effort to become involved support bush? I certainly buy that. So those of us who feel differently should get off our asses and get busy making sure those who feel they are excluded from the system become empowered enough to stand up and be counted. Note that putting forth such effort usually involves doing things for free and giving up time from building your CD and DVD collections.

So yeah people wanting to move to other countries or saying "i fucking hate this country" are really fucking pissing me off. Attitudes like that do absolutely nothing to fix things that are wrong. Maybe we are better off if those losers head to other shores.

Like Joceyln said above:
And leaving the US is not the answer, I would rather stay here and fight.

amen. So I'll go back onto hiatus now. I have way too much to do to let my blood pressure rise after reading some of the asshat threads here.

take care kids. xox

You're not alone there.

But yeah, anyone petulant enough to respond to their voice being drowned out by moving somewhere they may never have a voice is not someone I'd miss.

It's like being anti-Nazi in pre-WWII Germany.

Orbit, this is stupid enough that someone should kick you.

xpost; excellent, Sarah! Good luck.

I'm trying to work on my NaNoWriMo story at work. Today's count (ie: things I've just put in Notepad at work this morning) is 568. I want to hit my 2000 for the day. That way I'll get paid to work on my story and can just collapse when I get home.

Orbit I can understand where you're coming from. I definitely remember Reagan and was already very vocal against the first Bush even though I was only 14. I still have an essay from my freshman English class where I was giving the dire reasons why Bush should not be elected. But you aren't that much older than me, come on now. The country used to be (relatively) more liberal. We can turn it that way again.

I agree though that the erosion of our civil liberties is occuring. That's why we can't afford just to lie back and give up. You're not going to find the perfect country or perfect goverenment anywhere. They're only as good as we make them.

And for visceral responses: they're just frustrtating to me b/c it seems too many were too optimistic to begin with. One of my friends kept saying "We got it," and I kept telling him not to be so sure too soon. I was never sure either way so was completely prepared to accept another Bush term.

This same friend was all excited by the Eninem video which I never got. That was too little too late. I really saw it as more of a publicity stunt, not "revolutionary" like other people did.

(i won't buy anything though)

Remy and his roommate J4y are slouched on the couch watching Nashville and drinking pumpkin ale. J4y starts bolt upright, grabs the remote and pauses the TV.

J4y: [Manically] Wouldn't it be funny if ho-ho snack-cakes had filling made of stablized bull semen? get lots of bulls in a room and hook their dicks up to milking things, and save all their come [ed. -- pronounced 'couhum'] and whip it and pasteurize it, and serve it in pastry at reststops on the new york thruway.

Remy: [wary and weirded out] Err, how do you know they'd always be turned on? Give them pornos?

J4y: yeah, give them pictures of udders. sexy holsteins.

Remy: except for one in ten, who'd be looking at the bull next to him.

J4y: remy, chill out. you're being really disgusting.

I can't believe that the election literally made me sick!

also, tonight was the cramps show, with my friends in the gore gore girls opening. it was fun, and helped a little. one of the GGG and their driver/merch guy is currently crashing at my house. they brought beer, too!

tomorrow's sched: try not to cry, post pics from the protest/rally/demo that happened in downtown PDX tonight. cops were EVERYWHERE.

(Huck, 21 may be too young to have a fulfilling relationship with but don't let it stop you having fun, as long as you both understand how things stand.)

Yesterday was rough.

I'm hungry. It's time for me to leave my desk in search of food.

Today's word count (today only): 107. Ok, not so great. I need to stop fooling around (ie: working) and get to work (ie: NaNoWriMoing).

I FEEL SO ALONE.