people who talk through movies

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Dud.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:42 (twenty years ago)

STAY HOME

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:44 (twenty years ago)

I rented Saw last night (excellent movie!), and I was going to watch it up in my little upstairs movie nook, and my roommate was like "dude, don't be selfish, let's ALL watch it!". Here are some of the transgressions that occurred (or, occasionally, TO THEMSELVES, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER) while I was trying to pay close attention to WTF was going on:

*repeated singing of "Wearing an Inside-Out Face" (from a BUCKETHEAD album) from my roommate, to no one in particular
*repeated shouts of "IT'S DANNY GLOVER!"
*a conversation from the sofa to the kitchen regarding whether or not they still had green sauce at Taco Bell
*a conversation from the girl in the recliner on my left to the girl sitting on the sofa to my right about court fines
*five occasions wherein the guy who had seen the movie before goes "oh yeah, this is a good part!"

FUCK OTHER PEOPLE.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I actually kinda meant, like, you know, "friends" who are movie ruiners, whether with good intentions or bad.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:50 (twenty years ago)

There's a paranthetical phrase in that one post that doesn't make any sense at all.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

And people wonder why I don't go to the movies much.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

"What'd he say?"

dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:54 (twenty years ago)

actually, saw is the only movie that it's okay to talk through, on account of it being a giant turd. it is the only movie i can think of that was significantly improved by heckling.

mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

People who talk through movies make Buckethead cry.

Buckethead (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

Pause the movie every time they say something and then ask "are you finished?" in an irritated tone when they look at you expectantly, that should shut 'em up.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:57 (twenty years ago)

People who talk through movies should immediately be put on the organ harvest list.

http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/mol/inlines/v_men.jpg

Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

My Dad does this, mostly to identify the various firearms people are carrying, i.e. "psst, that's a snub nose .38. tell your mother."

bnw (bnw), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

I occasionally called them out as "the talkin'-through-the-movie-est motherfuckers EVER".

hahaha that sounds like MY dad, but his is TANKS ("ooooh, what a PANZER")

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 18:59 (twenty years ago)

Dud. Except for the time I went to see Spice World (we didn't have much choice on Cape Cod at the time) and the best thing about it was the running commentary from the front row full of teenagers.

I talk during TV shows sometimes, however whenever my mom and I watch some kind of drama, if it's just begun she'll be all "who's that? what's he want? ooh, where are they going?" as if I know the answers any better.

sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 19:01 (twenty years ago)

I think it's a completely different thing when there's, like, color commentary on the film itself. I don't really mind that so much. What gets me is the inane chatter of people who just aren't, I don't know, patient enough to go 90+ minutes without, er, inane chatter.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

No one knows how to shut up anymore.

Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 19:07 (twenty years ago)

xpost yes that is dud. Even dudder is my lack of gumption to shush people doing this in a theater.

sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 19:07 (twenty years ago)

Ha bnw.

I had to shush somebody during "Reign of Fire," he was snickering inappropriately.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

I actually hardly ever have a problem with this in theaters. Maybe a couple times in my life, total. I don't know if it's cuz I see a lot of ART FILMS with POLITE OLD PEOPLE.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 19:12 (twenty years ago)

I do this w/ friends from time to time, but usually when we've all silently agreed that the flick's only entertainment value is to be had by making like MST3K rejects. And, of course, never done did this out in public (though one "friend" always manages to say something totally asinine & stupid while characters are talking) (like, dude, wait until stuff stops happening onscreen before uncorking your Leno-esque display of dimwittery plz).

And, really, for folks that can't follow what's going on & feel the need to ask about salient plot points, how about PAYING ATTENTION?!?! (Hi Mom!) or doing what I do and just follow along vigilantly until stuff makes sense, or pop the WTF questions @ the end of the flick.

When I'm watching a DVD, & my roomy or friend starts talking as if I'm not watching a movie, I usually do a polite variation of Jordan's pause & glare move. If said friend doesn't take the hint, then the "AHEM" comes out.

To teenagers in luv paying $9 on a Friday night to bitch out their SOs in the comfort of carpeted reclining chairs - try going to Starbucks or Taco Bell, would ya?

[xpost]

Oh, wow - if I had a thing for every time my mom would be watching Law and Order or some other attention-intensive drama when I was a disgruntled teenager & she'd ask me questions that were meant to be resolved at the end of the show or before (cf. "who did it?", "where are they going?", "is she really a man?", "why is he not telling the truth?", "is he dead?") and I mouthed off like a smartass...

[xpost #2]

There is no HELL worse than watching a film w/ elderly folk that have no idea what the hell is going on and/or are so bored / upset by the movie that they start grousing & crabbing about it at normal speaking volume. Except maybe the mother / father bringing the young baby w/ them and, when said baby starts w/ the WAAAAH, decide to work the "shhhh" angle or (WORSE!) move near the entrance so they're out of sight but still audible. Gnnnnnnah.

There's a thread about this topic already, isn't there?

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

I say "CLASSIC..."

I saw BoogeyMan and Cursed recently in theaters crowed with city teeny-boppers, and they were cracking me up, giving lots of loud advice and warnings: "He's gonna kill you, man, he's gonna KILL YOU!!"

Of course, there were Skittles and empty nacho trays flying through the air as well, and that wasn't so cool...

andy --, Tuesday, 1 March 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

I totally get this from one of my roommates. I walk into a room and ask her about the movie she's watching. Next thing I know, she's asking *me* questions like "wait -- is that dude the one with the bomb" and I'm like "you tell me. i just walked in." the she just keeps asking me these questions until i run out and take a shot before my head explodes.

sterl clo, Tuesday, 1 March 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

The following people should be halled `round the keel and made to kiss the gunner's daughter:

- People who talk during movies.
- People who arrive LATE to movies (what? No clocks in your house?)
- People who BRING THEIR OWN FUCKING FOOD to the movies
- People who BRING LITTLE CHILDREN to inappropriate films
- People who don't turn off their cellphones at the movies.

And there is a special circle in hell for people who ANSWER their fuckin' cellphones at the movies.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:05 (twenty years ago)

People who BRING THEIR OWN FUCKING FOOD to the movies

I can understand the other ones, but what the shit does that have to do with YOUR movie experience?

stephen morris (stephen morris), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:07 (twenty years ago)

My mom will always fall asleep at the beginning of a movie, wake up 20 minutes before it is over, and then wants me to recap everything that has ever happened in the history of mankind.

she also does this with chinese films with no subtitles, when she speaks chinese and I don't.

My dad has a forced humongous laugh/running commentary that he used when he watched shit tv like COPS or America's Funniest Home Videos or Harry and the Hendersons. Because I would be reading or in another room and he wanted me to be so enticed by the hijinks that I was obviously missing, that I would come running and share in the splendor that is happening on my tv.

S!monB!rch (Carey), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

come to think of it, my mom usually will fall asleep in the middle of my recaps.

S!monB!rch (Carey), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

Yeah dude, movie food is expensive (and crap).

xpst

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

we totally had this thread, there was a story about someone who brought like a giant drippy deli sandwich to the theater.

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:14 (twenty years ago)

what's worse in when you rent a movie and WATCH IT AT HOME and your roommate/relative/lover will not shut up! it's a bit tricker to say, "honey, i really like this movie, will you shut the fuck up?" than to turn around and ssssh someone in a movie theater.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

It's not tricky to say that - it's just tricky to extricate yourself from the shitstorm that follows saying it. (And that goes for saying it w/ or w/out the cussin'.)

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

my mother often misses plot points, or likes to imagine that she's missed plot points that simply haven't been introduced yet. so she'll tell me to pause the movie and explain to her what's happened. when i say that such-and-such plot point has been left ambiguous, she says "oh" and tells me to hit play again.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

- People who BRING THEIR OWN FUCKING FOOD to the movies

Sorry, am I crunching my 50¢ M&M's too loud for you? I know, those $2.00 M&M's are so much quieter. Sorry about that.

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

eat a dick, alex in nyc

green uno skip card (ex machina), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

alex in nyc doesn't take his own dick, to the movies.

RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

It doesn't bother me if people do it quietly and respectfully, but I don't do it myself out of deference to the people who're driven nuts by it.

Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

QUIETLY and RESPECTFULLY, those words are very important.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

Eating dicks you mean?

xpost

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

i doubt there are people who purposefully show up to a movie late. shit happens. take the rod out from betwixt your cheeks.

()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

Alex in NYC is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:05 (twenty years ago)

the food thing doesn't bother me unless people the food is smelly or being eaten/handled in a noisy way.

- People who arrive LATE to movies (what? No clocks in your house?)

this really bugs me too. if you can't make it to the movie on time, wait for the next one or go see something else. it's unfair to the people who paid to watch ALL of the movie in relative peace and quiet when you show up ten minutes after the opening credits, spend ten minutes walking up and down the aisles in the dark like a clueless idiot, and push through half a row of people before you decide you don't want to sit in that row. look, if you have to be late, just do us all a favor and SIT THE FUCK DOWN WHEREVER. it's only 90 minutes out of your life.

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

Or they just stand on the stairs between the aisles for 15 minutes, gawping around looking for an advantageous seat.

Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

i like the way they handle lateness in live theater and classical music performances -- make latecomers wait outside until the intermission. movies should have intermissions, and i don't just mean seven-hour epics at the film forum.

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

"Mark, if you're in here, we're going to David's after the movie's over!"

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

yeah that's rude. however i see nothing wrong with entering a few minutes late and quietly, quickly, unobtrusively finding a seat.

xpost

()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

I restrain myself when out at the movies but am hard pressed not to engage verbally with the screen when watching at home. One of my former roommates gave me a supreme put-down once while we were watching X-Files: "When Susan goes to Spike Lee movies, black people tell her to be quiet". :(

Miss Misery (thatgirl), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

haha

j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

Why do motherfuckers have to talk through the entire goddamned show?

I can't find the one with the drippy sandwich. If I search for it though, I'll probably break the internet again.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

what's the difference between people arriving late and people returning from the bathroom, in terms of the distraction caused? and hey, maybe that's why they were late in the first place. sometimes one's bowels are not aware of movie start times.

()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

I think they should have one theatre for dicks who don't really care whether they concentrate on what they're watching or not, and another for people who actually want to watch the whole of the film they've paid to see.

Apart from all of the hate crimes listed above, my other favourite is when I'm trying to watch the closing credits and it's a complete waste of time because the screen is obscured by all the wankers running for the exit as soon as they begin, because otherwise they might have to spend another 2 minutes sitting quietly in a cinema which they obviously hate so why the fuck did they go in the first place.

Also, people who think you don't have to shut the fuck up until after the opening credits are over and maybe there's been a few lines of dialogue. Do these people start books on the 10th page or something?

Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:16 (twenty years ago)

Apart from all of the hate crimes listed above, my other favourite is when I'm trying to watch the closing credits

this used to bother me, but now the imdb exists and i can read the credits whenever i want.

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:18 (twenty years ago)

I remember when I saw the new Dawn of the Dead, there was all this awesome shit happening, like MORE MOVIE, during the credits, and all these hundreds of douchefluids are just soooo friggin ready to get out of there already. WTF? You came for zombies, why you ignore teh zombie action?

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

what's the difference between people arriving late and people returning from the bathroom, in terms of the distraction caused?

i realize i'm a young, relatively healthy person with a decent amount of control over my bodily functions, but if i know that if i'm going to be watching a movie in a theater for two hours, with other people watching a movie in the same theater for the same two hours, i plan ahead so i won't have to run to the bathroom during the film. if i absolutely HAVE to go (and you're right; some people do), i try to sit in an aisle seat to make my exit quicker, quieter, and less conspicuous.

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

x post

Yeah, and sometimes the closing music is part of the emotional arc of the movie, or you're really desperate to know who played a particular song right now, or there's even an extra little bit of movie tucked away in there...walking out straight away's like jumping out of bed and getting dressed the instant you've shot your load.

Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

Especially with movies that are heavy or intense or draining in some way, the credits give you an opportunity to let everything settle.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:27 (twenty years ago)

I remember when I went to go see In Good Company, this couple walked in and sat down with about twenty minutes to go in the film. They then proceeded to spend the entire time up until the credits started rolling trying to figure out what had happened up to that point. VERY VERY LOUDLY.

Also, I remember going to see The Negotiator back in high school and thirty minutes in, two GIGANTIC fatass sat down right next to me (and I mean fat as in "spilled over into my seat EW EW EW EW EW"). And then proceeded to talk about every single aspect of the movie (which they'd clearly seen before) - INCLUDING THE ENDING. I have never in my life wished that cancer was caused by eating excessive amounts of ham before or since, but the shoe fit really well right then.

The moral of the story is that most people should be dropped from a great height.

James.Cobo (jamescobo), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

Ugh Ferlin.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

Sorry Tracer, I was trying to think of a more delicate euphemism but they all sounded silly.

Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

jbr have you seen the size of the drinks they sell at theaters?? cut some slack. i dunno, if i'm totally distracted by someone leaving or entering the theater, then i don't think the movie is that engrossing in the first place.

()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:32 (twenty years ago)

two GIGANTIC fatass

haha this typo is beautiful

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

this really bugs me too. if you can't make it to the movie on time, wait for the next one or go see something else

is anyone else thinking of that scene from 'slacker'?

in france most audiences stay until the end of the credits. that is, they stay seated and relatively quiet. this is starting to change, in the big american-style multiplexes. but go to a non-chain theater in paris, and unless there's some unusual circumstance, if you get up noisily just as the credits come on, you will be pretty much alone.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

I think they should have one theatre for dicks who don't really care whether they concentrate on what they're watching or not, and another for people who actually want to watch the whole of the film they've paid to see.

Holy crap, this is a GREAT idea!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

jbr have you seen the size of the drinks they sell at theaters??

also, did you know that mcdonald's made the baby jesus fat??

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

jbr have you seen the size of the drinks they sell at theaters??

They're not forcing you to buy them and drink all 64 oz.!

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

(xpost): Right.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

is anyone else thinking of that scene from 'slacker'?

i was thinking of annie hall.

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

Actually, my relationship with credits is somewhat complicated. If the movie is sincere - or at least decent - I'll always stay until the lights come on. And I'll whisper through them, but I'll try to read every name. HOWEVER: if the movie is terrible, or annoying, or condescending, or I want to kill the audience (which is half the fucking time) I go home and read the entire credit list on the flick's website or imdb or baseline studio systems.

Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

there is also no eating and drinking in most French movie theaters! but i think that's less of a noise/commotion thing and more along the lines of "why would you eat anywhere besides a table larded with cheese and wine"

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

People who pay $9 for a bucket of Mountain Dew are setting themselves up for derision and contempt.

Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

i always sneak food and drink into movie theaters, but usually the sort of food and drink the theaters would be selling anyhow (candies, sodas, etc.). nothing too greasy or smelly.

there are some theaters that actually charge reasonable (!!!) prices for candies and sodas, in which cases i'm happy to buy them.

of course everyone knows that the economy of theatergoing is such that most theaters make a large amount of their profit based on concessions! right?!

xxpost

what scene in 'annie hall'? i haven't seen that movie for ages. in 'slacker' there's the scene where the couple show up late, and the girl doesn't want to miss the beginning, so they agree to meet up in a while before the next screening. that's when she ducks into the bookstore and meets the kennedy-assassination-conspiracy-theorist.

p.s. as an example of why to stay until the end of the credits: 'sonatine'!!!

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

And kidney stones!

argh xpost

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

xxxpost

yes tracer, the same theaters where people stay until the end of the credits typically do not sell concessions. but the big american-style multiplexes--the ones where people WILL leave during the credits--do sell concessions. and even the MK2 theaters--sort of multiplexes with an arthouse soul--have started to sell candies and stuff.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:42 (twenty years ago)

amster in annie hall, like near the beginning they show up late for some movie, like five minutes maybe tops, and annie wants to go ahead and go in but he pitches a fit and they go see the sorrow and the pity again instead.

j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:43 (twenty years ago)

p.s. for those concerned: do NOT bring anything to eat into a theater at the cinematheque francaise (which is closed for the next few months, but anyway). i learned this the hard way, by getting 'shushed' quite aggressively by a well-known film critic after unwrapping my (swiss, of course) chocolate bar.

xpost

thx blount, i forgot about that and thought jbr was referncing the mcluhan thing. was that in 'annie hall' too?

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:44 (twenty years ago)

The trend here is for the art houses to sell much better concessions than megaplexes. . .and to have bars.

You have to forgive people who must get up to refresh their gin and tonic.

Miss Misery (thatgirl), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

(To the ticket clerk)
H'm, has the picture started yet?

TICKET CLERK
It started two minutes ago.

ALVY
(Hitting his hand on the counter)
That's it! Forget it! I-I can't go in.

ANNIE
Two minutes, Alvy.

ALVY
(Overlapping Annie)
No, I'm sorry, I can't do it. We-we've
blown it already. I-you know, uh, I-I
can't go in in the middle.

ANNIE
In the middle?
(Alvy nods his head yes and let's
out an exasperated sigh)
We'll only miss the titles. They're in
Swedish.

ALVY
You wanna get coffee for two hours or
something? We'll go next-

ANNIE
Two hours? No, u-uh, I'm going in.
I'm going in.

She moves past the ticket clerk.

ALVY
(Waving to Annie)
Go ahead. Good-bye.

Annie moves back to Alvy and takes his arm.

ANNIE
Look, while we're talking we could be
inside, you know that?

ALVY
(Watching people with tickets move
past them)
Hey, can we not stand here and argue in
front of everybody, 'cause I get embarrassed.

ANNIE
Alright. All right, all right, so whatta
you wanna do?

ALVY
I don't know now. You-you wanna go to
another movie?
(Annie nods her head and shrugs
her shoulders disgustedly as Alvy,
gesturing with his band, looks at
her)
So let's go see The Sorrow and the Pity.

ANNIE
Oh, come on, we've seen it. I'm not in
the mood to see a four-hour documentary
on Nazis.

ALVY
Well, I'm sorry, I-I can't ... I-I-I've
gotta see a picture exactly from the start
to the finish, 'cause-'cause I'm anal.

ANNIE
(Laughing now)
H'h, that's a polite word for what you are.

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

of course everyone knows that the economy of theatergoing is such that most theaters make a large amount of their profit based on concessions! right?!

yes. my cousin manages a second-run theatre. i ask why, just every once in a while, they don't show something that isn't total crap. apparently, people who go to "arty" movies tend to not buy concessions.

()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:46 (twenty years ago)

mea culpa!!!

oh and:

alcohol + film screenings = disaster

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

(just imagine all those dudes who won't shut up, then imagine them totally soused)

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

A friend of mine had to watch "The Sorrow and the Pity" for a class in college. Her only words upon returning were "Woody Allen in Annie Hall is a sick sick man."

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

if i'm totally distracted by someone leaving or entering the theater, then i don't think the movie is that engrossing in the first place.

Oops, you've either never ever had someone walk into your line of sight, your peripheral vision is godawful, or your ability to immerse yourself in a flick is something we should all envy.

Also, I have been That Guy w/ the $15.00 soda (hi Leon!), but I usually don't do that during premieres & junk, if only because I just had dinner w/ friends & don't want to spend more $$$$ on that stuff. I DO buy goodies @ the miniplex-arthouse place, though, even if my teeth balk @ having to contend w/ Sour Patch Kid residue & gloriously disgusting Twizzler chewiness.

Anyway, a soda story - I went to see Minority Report as a matinee, got myself some Mountain Dew & Twizzlers, chugged down my goodies all quick & num num, enjoyed the first hour-plus, but then felt The Need. I was hoping to hold on until the end of the flick, but no dice. So I scoot off to the other end of the multiplex, do my #1, and scoot back, taking a empty seat closer to the screen as stuff happens. (Ah, bless you, matinees.) Of course, I went wee-wee right before Colin Farrel was shot & the big reveal was made, so when I got back, I was "huh?" for a good 15-20 minutes.

Baby Jesus should do at least 1 hour of exercise a day. So should I, but I'm not Baby Jesus.

Also also also - w/ all the damn commercials & trailers tacked onto the start of most multiplex showings, if you STILL show up late (and, by late, I mean 10 minutes in), you should be forced to clean out the hot butter dispensers.

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

no way, one thing i loved about italy was liquor at the movie theater


the sorrow and the pity's a great flick

j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

'the sorry and the pity' is great, only very very long and very very depressing (also, you will come out of it with very little respect for maurice chevalier, for which they should put a warning sticker on the dvd)

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:49 (twenty years ago)

i forgot about that and thought jbr was referncing the mcluhan thing. was that in 'annie hall' too?

Well, that's funny, because I happen to have Mr. McLuhan right here!

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:50 (twenty years ago)

o man one thing i REALLY loved in italy were when a theater had a vendor walking the aisles like at a baseball game

j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:50 (twenty years ago)

Oops, you've either never ever had someone walk into your line of sight, your peripheral vision is godawful, or your ability to immerse yourself in a flick is something we should all envy.

so your view is obstructed for a few seconds. big whup.

()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:50 (twenty years ago)

All I'm saying is BE CONSIDERATE, YOU FUCKS! Teeny's right...we did do a thread on this. I sat next to someone who ate a fuckin' massively smelly shrimp parmasiant hero. FUCK THAT GUY! Bring your own M&M's and shit, fine, but don't bring food that's going to stink up the joint.


Oh, and go fuck yourself, Jon Williams, you cock-jockey.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:51 (twenty years ago)

blount: somehow, europeans can 'deal' with drinking at theaters, just as they can 'deal' with underage drinking, much better than i imagine americans could. that's not a putdown of americans, just an honest observation.
xxpost

oh yeah the mk2 theaters have a woman come along with one of those strapped-on boxes of candies and stuff and walk through the aisles during the previews. i think i saw this at some other theaters, even some "artsy" ones (the st. germain possibly?). so yes, even old-fashioned movie theaters in france have *concessions*, just not a *concession stand.* and most patrons didn't seem to avail themselves of any of the candies the woman walking the aisles was hawking.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

I think it's funny when Jon and Alex say mean things at each other, I bet they'd get along really well!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

the McLuhan gag in Annie Hall is so great. "You don't understand my theories at all!"

I sneak liquor into theaters - hip flask + crappy matinee = perfection

Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

I have been That Guy w/ the $15.00 soda

I don't actually have a problem with people buying this kind of stuff at the concessions, I just hate it for people using it as an excuse for having no control over their bladder.

Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

whenever alex and jon get into it i always think of archie and meathead

j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

I bet they'd get along really well!

You'd lose that bet.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

When I went to a theatre in Britain (5 years ago) (and I don't know if this is common), they showed commercials, then had an intermission (5-10 minutes), then showed previews, then had ANOTHER intermission (5-10 minutes), and then showed the film. Very very odd, & mildy perturbing. My fat 'roid-ravaged American ass wants non-stop moving pictures, dambit!

Blount, doesn't your multiplex roll out the Magical Consessions Cart for big movie premieres? That's almost like having a vendor work the aisles (though it does involve moving) (and they don't throw stuff at you).

Alex, speaking of food stank, I take it you're not a fan of theatres selling nachos & pizza & hot dogs, then? TS: the smell of drying nacho cheese v. the smell of drying ketchup.

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

I read an ace Hubert Selby Jr. story once about a guy sneaking beer into a movie and getting thrown out (and arrested?) after he made a drunken ass of himself.

Obviously, the plot doesn't look great written down like that, but trust me, it was a great story.

Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:56 (twenty years ago)

The worst is when you step in/put your hand in the leftover cold nacho cheese goo.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

Ewwwwww.

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

also, in paris hot girls go alone to screenings of korean art movies on saturday nights! so basically it's paradise.

i used to play a game w/friends where for every glass of whiskey chugged in a western, we'd take a slug from a bottle we'd brought into the theater. however we soon realized that people in westerns drink more whiskey than is humanly possible to drink....

david r: in france, they announce two 'start times' for each screening: when the screening nominally begins, and the time when the *feature* actually begins. in between they play some ads, several previews, and the lights go up again for a few minutes. the only advantage of coming at the earlier time is to see the previews and (if it's going to be crowded) to get a good seat.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:59 (twenty years ago)

Alex, speaking of food stank, I take it you're not a fan of theatres selling nachos & pizza & hot dogs, then? TS: the smell of drying nacho cheese v. the smell of drying ketchup.

Well, I don't condone that either, but in all my years, I've NEVER seen anyone actually order nachos, etc. at a movie theatre. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just that I haven't experienced it.

But there's something specifically irritating about someone bringing their own smelly fuckin' food to movie theatres.

For what it's worth, I don't like people eating smelly food on subways either. Take care of that shit at home!

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:59 (twenty years ago)

nah our multiplex will open up all FIVE or six or whatever concession stands during big HUGE premiere weekends but nothing in the actual theater. i have to be honest - i've definitely comitted almost ALL of these offenses. we used to sneak beer into the movies all the time, pretty conspicuously.

j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 21:59 (twenty years ago)

if alex and jon met, i think we'd experience some kind of heretofore unknown thermodynamic event.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:00 (twenty years ago)

no the worst are all the shitty ads and Cocal Cola "trivia" they show before movies nowadays. I feel like I'm in that eyeballs-taped-open scene from Clockwork Orange whenever that shit is on...

Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:00 (twenty years ago)

This might not be popular, but I miss being able to smoke in cinemas. French films in particular are brutal for nicotine addicts, there's usually somebody sparking up on-screen every two minutes.

Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:01 (twenty years ago)

yeah, ads (and other commercial nonsense) before movies is something i hate, but have sadly learned to live with--even at film festivals!

i guess it'd be a fun novelty to smoke at a movie occasionally, but ultimately not smoking in movies is a Very Good Thing. no casulaties from horrible theater fires, for one thing.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

Jon will turn out to be Alex's long lost son, the product of a reckless teenage affair.

Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

omg coca cola trivia is something awful, at least they don't have those dorky 'my names jay mcgillicuddy, i'm a student filmmaker, and this is my short film' and then it's just some ass coke ad.

j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:03 (twenty years ago)

I think that there is the first Shakey Mo post I've seen in two days that didn't ask about Star Jones' back fat!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:05 (twenty years ago)

Yeah Daver, they do this thing in the UK after the previews where they close the curtain (usually only for like thirty seconds, to be fair) and then open it back up again for the real movie. I always wonder how the little men behind the screen can bring in all the scenery for a full-length feature in that amount of time.

I used to sneak beer into the Music Palace in Chinatown (New York) You could smoke in there too, and just hang out all day with one ticket. In one day you'd usually see 1) a comedy, 2) an action movie, and 3) a romance. There were some totally disgusting people in there, guys who would just drink and sleep all day. I have an image permanently burned into my brain of this one filthy guy who sat in the third row or so, right on the aisle, with no shoes on his feet and two empty two-liter bottles of Pepsi on the floor, flattened out. Maybe he used them for shoes.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

jeez it's like some of y'all have never had an uncontrollable need to pee before.

()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:07 (twenty years ago)

I *am* moving to NYC after all.

Just for the record, I like Alex in NYC!

green uno skip card (ex machina), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:08 (twenty years ago)

oh shit THAT's what they were for.

xpost

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

so that he wouldn't offend anyone by getting up, naturally.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

in france, they announce two 'start times' for each screening
don't they call that the séance?

Ken L (Ken L), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:11 (twenty years ago)

the 'séance' is just the screening. so you can have 'deux séances par jour,' etc.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:13 (twenty years ago)

i wonder if any tourist expecting to speak to their late grandmother has been disppointed when all they get is the movie.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:13 (twenty years ago)

I always wonder how the little men behind the screen can bring in all the scenery for a full-length feature in that amount of time.

Gremlins are magic!

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:15 (twenty years ago)

http://www.silverscreens.com/cinesaucine/images/gremlins/gremlins4.jpg

Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

Isnt nachos like the worst thing to sell at the movies? Arent people supposed to be quiet at those things?

Someone was eating nachos when I saw Huckabees the other month. I got all pissed off, but then realized I was at the dollar theaters and that my $1 wasnt worth getting uptight about.

Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)

xxxpost:
I thought the ghosts of Michel Simon and Raimu where gonna come out and wreak havoc on the audience.

Ken L (Ken L), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)

Seance = orginally, 'seating'.

Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:25 (twenty years ago)

i only want to hold a seance for michel simon if his pet monkey will come along too.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:27 (twenty years ago)

i can't resist the smell of popcorn. I don't care if I just came from Thanksgiving dinner, I'm having a huge tub of popcorn.

Miss Misery (thatgirl), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

what's the difference between people arriving late and people returning from the bathroom, in terms of the distraction caused?

People coming back from the bathroom already know where they're sitting.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

that should be a zen koan

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:35 (twenty years ago)

I did a few blink takes before I correctly read the last word.

Ken L (Ken L), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:36 (twenty years ago)

i really like the opening scene in tampopo

gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:41 (twenty years ago)

i think i must be extra-sensitive to this or else everyone i go to movies with is slightly deaf. like last night for example...three people sitting in the row behind me, just over my left shoulder. during the previews i had that feeling they were going to be talkers b/c they obviously didn't care about the previews & were gabbing back & forth like they were on their couch at home. During the movie they did talk a lot THEN they were eating their popcorn so loud--lip smacking, etc.--THEN one of them (or maybe someone in the row in front) kept TAPPING THEIR LEG/FOOT SO URGENTLY, i felt the rattles. I kept telling them to hush, but to no avail. I think for them it was quiet b/c after the movie was over, they were so so so loud. My boyfriend kept glancing at me & wondering what was wrong. He didn't hear any of it.

kelsey (kelstarry), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

not always, PP! i've seen people coming back from the latrine make more of a distraction precisely because they have to find *their* seat, rather than just any seat.

()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

For what it's worth, I don't like people eating smelly food on subways either. Take care of that shit at home!

ew, i know. especially when there's no air conditioning. smelly food + confined spaces + no ventilation = not pleasant.

not always, PP! i've seen people coming back from the latrine make more of a distraction precisely because they have to find *their* seat, rather than just any seat.

which is why i take a seat in the back when i return from the bathroom. fuck it; i've missed enough of the movie in the john. the sooner i sit down, the sooner i can get back into what's going on.

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

and if i'm with someone, well, i'll find 'em later. that's what cell phones are for.

jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

they have some sort of thing here where it's a movie specifically for moms and their infants, everyone cries, nobody cares.

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 23:38 (twenty years ago)

http://chase.stlouiscinemas.com/

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

The Angelika chain does the infant matinees too, the lights aren't dimmed completely and the sound is turned down, etc.. I accidentally saw a (completely forgettable indie) movie at one of those and none of the employees saw fit to warn me.

I miss having weekday afternoons off, so I could go see any movie just after lunch and be in the theater all by myself. Doing that for a year ruined moviegoing for me.

Crowds at the Dallas arthouse theaters suuuuuck. Standard assholism+yuppie privilege=constant chatter, fashionably late appearances, etc..

milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 01:19 (twenty years ago)

The Angelika chain does the infant matinees too, the lights aren't dimmed completely and the sound is turned down, etc.. I accidentally saw a (completely forgettable indie) movie at one of those and none of the employees saw fit to warn me.

Crowds at the Dallas arthouse theaters suuuuuck. Standard assholism+yuppie privilege=constant chatter, fashionably late appearances, etc..

I miss having weekday afternoons off, so I could go see any movie just after lunch and be in the theater all by myself. Doing that for a year ruined moviegoing for me.

milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 02:01 (twenty years ago)

Sneaking food into movies is classic. Sneaking booze is even better. And reading all of the credits is the lamest sort of pseudo-movie-buff snobbery unless you're just trying to ID a certain song or actor. In which case who cares if people are being noisy and walking around? If you really hate people so much that you can't deal with the natural sort of interruptions that occur in a movie theater you should really just stay home with a DVD.

walter kranz (walterkranz), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 02:26 (twenty years ago)

natural interruptions /= people who cannot see fit to keep mostly quiet, people who bring babies to 10pm showings of R-rated indie flix, dudes who show up 30 minutes late and then wander around loudly searching for their friends, etc.

Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 02:39 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

I went to the movies on Monday night and there were precisely 9 people in the whole cinema including myself. This asshat couple sat 2 rows behind me diagonally across the aisle and whispered and gigled throughout the entire movie. I wanted to smack them.

Hard like armour, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 01:18 (seventeen years ago)

It's like when there is a whole empty beach to sit on and some tool puts their towel down 2 metres away from you.

Hard like armour, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 01:20 (seventeen years ago)

it was a small beach and you picked a good spot, duh

remy bean, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 06:33 (seventeen years ago)

also "yards"

remy bean, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 06:33 (seventeen years ago)

also "yards"

no, meters.

StanM, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 06:52 (seventeen years ago)

btw, "walterkranz" needs to eat shit.

Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 13:46 (seventeen years ago)

ie, If you really hate people so much that you cause rude interruptions in a movie theater you should really just stay home and watch overrated HBO series.

Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 13:48 (seventeen years ago)

Sneaking food into movies is classic. Sneaking booze is even better.

Sounds good to me. In fact sneaking booze is classic full stop

DJ Mencap, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 13:50 (seventeen years ago)

I used to be all uncomfortable about telling people to shut up, but over the years I've been pushed too far. If I hear someone's voice more than once, I ask them to be quiet. If I hear it again after that, I tell 'em to shut up.

Martin Van Burne, Thursday, 26 July 2007 15:57 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

my kinda guy:
http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news_update/20081226_Phila__man_shot_because_family_talked_during_movie.html

titchy (titchyschneiderMk2), Saturday, 27 December 2008 11:20 (sixteen years ago)

Tough but fair.

I Was a Teenage Armchair Hongro Fan (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 December 2008 13:14 (sixteen years ago)

go for the Diet Coke on the neck.

Dr Morbius, Saturday, 27 December 2008 14:31 (sixteen years ago)

well it's not like he shot him dead.

J0hn D., Saturday, 27 December 2008 15:35 (sixteen years ago)

depends on the type of movie - silly comedy or horror or whatever its totally acceptable - btw the audience reaction when everyone get shot in the head in the departed was one of the best moments at the movies ever

ice cr?m, Saturday, 27 December 2008 15:40 (sixteen years ago)

I'm glad you recognize that was a silly comedy.

Dr Morbius, Saturday, 27 December 2008 15:57 (sixteen years ago)

still RONG and why I prefer to attend 11 a.m. shows where average patron age is 74.

Dr Morbius, Saturday, 27 December 2008 15:58 (sixteen years ago)

morbs why are you still going to see scorsese movies when that guy ran outta gas before Clinton took office

J0hn D., Saturday, 27 December 2008 16:00 (sixteen years ago)

I liked Kundun and the 2 film-history compilations.

Dr Morbius, Saturday, 27 December 2008 16:14 (sixteen years ago)

DEPARTED <3 4 EVA "BETTER THAN KING OF COMEDY"

ice cr?m, Saturday, 27 December 2008 16:45 (sixteen years ago)

my friend who is a film director was arrested and spent the night in the cells at sevenoaks police station for shushing two teenagers rather vehemently (no joke).

caek, Saturday, 27 December 2008 16:49 (sixteen years ago)

i just emailed him to find out what the film was

caek, Saturday, 27 December 2008 16:51 (sixteen years ago)

still RONG and why I prefer to attend 11 a.m. shows where average patron age is 74.

― Dr Morbius, Saturday, December 27, 2008 10:58 AM (53 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is OTM

bimble bell rock (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 27 December 2008 16:56 (sixteen years ago)

joke about peer group

s1ocki, Saturday, 27 December 2008 17:01 (sixteen years ago)

i just emailed him to find out what the film was

― caek, Saturday, December 27, 2008 4:51 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

million dollar baby. hahahahaha.

caek, Saturday, 27 December 2008 17:27 (sixteen years ago)

a few times this past year, i just went and switched theaters because of the volume of the audience chatter.

honestly old folks are the worst offenders here. i try to avoid shows with lots of old folks. but i did see benjamin button with a bunch of old folks yesterday and they were very polite, so go figure.

amateurist, Saturday, 27 December 2008 18:12 (sixteen years ago)

it's the 25–59 sweet spot that actually knows how to shut up, on average.

amateurist, Saturday, 27 December 2008 18:13 (sixteen years ago)

still RONG and why I prefer to attend 11 a.m. shows where average patron age is 74.

Bah! If only. Man, 11 a.m. is when they take the kids to movies. In Idaho Falls, 'they' meant all the kiddie day cares. Why are a bunch of toddlers interested in seeing "Star Trek: First Contact"? Apparently they aren't, daycare people, leading to one loud-ass kiddie cacophony. Why were all the daycare kids at "A Mighty Wind"? I don't know. Oh man.

Old folks are bad, too. There's one independent theater in the area in the tourist part of town, among all the "Billy the Kid was here" kind of stuff and expensive knick-knack & gewgaw boutiques where all the old people go. Old people are at the theater. The one time I went to a movie there, they opened with a thing saying "please turn off all your cell phones" and the retiree audience APPLAUDED. Cool! They then proceeded, all of them, to talk extremely loudly over the entire film.

Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Saturday, 27 December 2008 18:51 (sixteen years ago)

My husband will only go to 11am Sunday morning screenings, b/c he hates people. I hate mornings, so it's a rough compromise.

Worst in the entire history of the world is watching movies with my in-laws. "Who's that? He's the guy from what's that show called...BEN? [calling to husband in next room] WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT GUY FROM THAT SHOW?"...Or choosing not to watch whatever movie we decide to watch but then joining us halfway through and demanding to know everything that's happened.

Best ever: Christmas day, watching 'West Side Story' with family. Father-in law WAY grumpy about the length of time we'd been watching the movie. Grumped down the stairs, 'you still watching this?'. So he sits on the couch, hoping we'll take pity and turn on PBS or something. My niece and I got up to get a glass of water, and my sister-inlaw had started playing with the new puppy on the living room floor...we come back and sit on the couch, and the TV screen is black. We look at my father in law: WTF? He's indignant, "Well no one was watching it." We had our BACKS TURNED FOR 1 minute!!! Then he pretended that he didn't know how to use the remote.

Old people really suck sometimes :) Especially when they're family.

VegemiteGrrrl, Saturday, 27 December 2008 20:34 (sixteen years ago)

two years pass...

so last night i went to a film screening where they were playing a bunch of mostly avant-garde animation-type stuff from the '60s and '70s. the first film shown was this abstract animation from 1963 called 'the critic', written and devised by mel brooks, who "narrates" the film in the voice of a cranky 71-year-old russian jewish filmgoer who keeps loudly kvetching about the film he's watching, while the rest of the audience shushes him and tells him to be quiet. it's a good, funny short, which is handily on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otPkk1sUFkI

but i was sitting directly next to a fellow at this screening who insisted on leaning over and saying something to me in the darkness between each film (of which there were about a dozen). there was a film shot at coney island, after which he asked me if i'd ever read lawrence ferlinghetti and then told me about the go kart he bought that him and his friends would drive while they were getting drunk*. after a film shot at watts towers, he asked me if i'd ever been and then told me about this great restaurant in the vicinity of the towers that i should go to sometime. this was already getting on my nerves (i'm not wholesale opposed to between-film chatter but this guy was mostly just spouting inanities), but then: the final film of the night was this rarely-screened james whitney film, 'wu ming', which is about 17 minutes long and silent. it's a gorgeous film, full of these incredible swathes of color and this hypnotic sequence in the middle of a black dot shrinking down to nothing that might've tough to sit through otherwise but just seemed to work perfectly within the context of this film. anyway, the audience watching is pretty much rapt, until about halfway through it, in the total silence of the theater, when the guy blurts out "FOR THIS I PAID $2.50???" a la the kvetching mel brooks character from the first film. he then proceeded to turn on his digital camera (which made a nice WHOOOOSHing sound) and take a picture of the screen. my friend and some of the other audience members told the guy after the screening "hey, thanks for ruining that for us, some people here have waited more than ten years to see that film." to which he grinned and responded "well, hey, it's a public forum, it's for the people", and then bolted before the q&a (to my relief).

after the show i was standing outside with my friend and he approached me: "oh, this is the young man i was bothering throughout the night! tell me, did you think that joke was funny? or do you think i was being annoying?"

"you were REALLY annoying. you were bothering pretty much everybody in the theater, and nobody appreciated your joke."

"oh, well, okay then." (traipses off)

like, waht

*admittedly this story might have been entertaining to hear in some other context but wrong place, wrong time, pal

vitameatawalloginavegamin (donna rouge), Monday, 31 October 2011 16:52 (thirteen years ago)

I would have slapped him.

bouquet beatdown (Nicole), Monday, 31 October 2011 16:57 (thirteen years ago)

"You ever go to an Eric Clapton concert with your own fucking guitar???"--Bill Hicks

Neanderthal, Monday, 31 October 2011 17:02 (thirteen years ago)

I think the defense of "hey I paid for this too, I can talk if I want" is more infuriating than the actual crime itself.

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Monday, 31 October 2011 17:03 (thirteen years ago)

For a second I thought he was standing outside with HIS friend, which didn't seem possible.

Also liked this the previous post from VegemiteGrrrl, especially

"Who's that? He's the guy from what's that show called...BEN? [calling to husband in next room] WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT GUY FROM THAT SHOW?"

Mayne of Fules (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 31 October 2011 17:04 (thirteen years ago)

the theatre antics are bad enough to the point where I have to strategically choose theatres based on the movie I'm seeing and the typical demographic of the theatre to ensure I don't have a shitty experience.

ie, Paranormal Activity 3, opening night I knew to avoid the theatre near the college because of the way they ruin those types of movies...but if it's like Hot Tub Time Machine, it's ok. if it's an arty film, there's one theatre nearby that gets em, but I know a bunch of middle-aged doofuses are gonna talk through it (like they did at Animal Kingdom) and that I should just rent it on DVD.

Neanderthal, Monday, 31 October 2011 17:05 (thirteen years ago)

this was actually a free screening. BUT STILL.

vitameatawalloginavegamin (donna rouge), Monday, 31 October 2011 17:06 (thirteen years ago)

doesn't even matter!

Neanderthal, Monday, 31 October 2011 17:07 (thirteen years ago)

what part of the "don't be a dick" rule do people not get? that and texting...there was a debate on that on the local art movie forum and some people were cautiously defending it by saying "well if there was an emergency who am I to say the text isn't important"...and it's like, I've gone to movies with cell phones for like, 10+ years and haven't had that happen once yet. Of course it's possible, but like, what would you have done before cell phones?

"I have this strange feeling that little Joey broke his leg, gotta go now, bye folks"

Neanderthal, Monday, 31 October 2011 17:08 (thirteen years ago)

I just wish they'd hire ushers who gave a fuck about kicking people out for talking during movies. Obviously some high school kid getting paid minimum wage isn't going to bother confronting someone for the shitty wage they get paid, and I don't blame 'em in the least, but it'd be nice if there was some sort of example set of like YOU WILL GET KICKED OUT, SO DON'T DO THIS or something.

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Monday, 31 October 2011 17:10 (thirteen years ago)

Good luck with that.

Mayne of Fules (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 31 October 2011 17:16 (thirteen years ago)

Well yeah, thats why I said "I wish" instead of "I can't wait for this to be implemented".

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Monday, 31 October 2011 17:17 (thirteen years ago)

what would you have done before cell phones?

every fucker who can't bear to be parted from their phone for 2 hours shd have this tattooed on their face

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Monday, 31 October 2011 17:21 (thirteen years ago)

I went to a midnight screening of the Warriors and every time a woman would appear on screen, this dude in the front row trying to be funny would say like, "Oh yeah, take my gravy. Hot gravy." He did it like 20 times.

Youth Ya Goon (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 31 October 2011 17:21 (thirteen years ago)

Regal has a þhing where if you ask, you get 20 crown club bonus points and they give you this little handheld device with buttons that you press to alert people to devious behavior in the theatre (one of the buttons is bootlegging, lol)

My friend and I used to participate all the time but nobody ever acted out when we had it

Neanderthal, Monday, 31 October 2011 17:24 (thirteen years ago)

When I go to Florida to visit my family, the cellphone thing is out of control compared to New York. Like just fat redneck one-tooths hunched in their seats with it blinking on their laps. I've found its def more effective to lean over and say, "Hey, that's really distracting could you put that away thanks" as opposed to screeching what I'm thinking which is "YOU ARE WORTHLESS, SUB-LITERATE FLORIDA SWAMPTRASH AND NO ONE IMPORTANT COULD POSSIBLY BE TEXTING YOU RIGHT NOW"

Youth Ya Goon (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 31 October 2011 17:26 (thirteen years ago)

one year passes...

Anil Dash, asshole fuckface

http://dashes.com/anil/2013/08/shushers-wrong-about-movies-wrong-about-the-world.html

Miss Arlington twirls for the Coal Heavers (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 8 August 2013 15:15 (eleven years ago)

ugh, what an idiot

there's a huge difference between an audience expressing enthusiasm about a movie (which is fun to be part of) and a theater filled with assholes checking their phone every 10 minutes (which is not)

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 8 August 2013 18:14 (eleven years ago)

if only movie theaters would realize that it's only their own sense of privilege and entitlement that makes them flash those "turn off your phone" signs before the movie

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 8 August 2013 18:16 (eleven years ago)

That whole "Why should YOUR preferences decide how everyone ELSE behaves?" is such a non-fucking-started. Because MY preferences don't interrupt, distract and bother other paying customers, shithead. That's why.

Here's the storify, of a lovely ladify (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 August 2013 18:18 (eleven years ago)

Glenn Kenny with something of a response:

I am not a historian so I cannot even begin to pinpoint the time during which the notion of the movie theater as a consecrated space came into being. But given certain cultural signifiers—the movie line confrontation scene in Annie Hall, for instance, and that movie's lead character Alvie Singer's neurotic refusal to enter a theater once the opening credits of a picture have begun—I infer that the art film, the repertory cinema, and the counterculture all had something to do with it. As for the end of the idea of the movie theater as a consecrated space, I could guess that future historians will pinpoint Susan Sontag's 1996 New York Times Magazine piece "The Decay of Cinema" as the green flag in the race to the end of it all. What Sontag experienced as the death of cinephilia has become, for a generation more than once removed from her own, a miniaturization and privatization, as it were, of cinephilia, with the theatrical experience and all its multiform glories and discontents being just one aspect of it. I'm old enough to have experienced both kinds, and while in many respect I prefer the thing that Sontag lamented, I'm not entirely discontent with the other. What one misses, increasingly, is something that may have always been a kind of willed delusion anyway: that in giving over our rapt attention to a screen we were engaging in a form of actual cultural communion rather than merely consuming a product. It's pretty clear from my reading of Dash that in his world, what constitutes culture is ONLY product, and that really is the thing that gives him an airtight case. Ah, materialism.

http://somecamerunning.typepad.com/some_came_running/2013/08/the-myth-of-the-consecrated-movie-theater.html

Miss Arlington twirls for the Coal Heavers (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 8 August 2013 19:00 (eleven years ago)

Oh god, I hope that if I get distracted by someone talking during a movie and shush them they don't counter with some fucking longwinded philosophy...

Evan, Thursday, 8 August 2013 19:41 (eleven years ago)

Chapter XIV—The Orchestra, Conversation, and the Censorship. In this chapter, on page 189, I suggest suppressing the orchestra entirely and encouraging the audience to talk about the film. No photoplay people have risen to contradict this theory, but it is a chapter that once caused me great embarrassment. With Christopher Morley, the well-known author of Shandygaff and other temperance literature, I was trying to prove out this chapter. As soon as the orchestra stopped, while the show rolled on in glory, I talked about the main points in this book, illustrating it by the film before us. Almost everything that happened was a happy illustration of my ideas. But there were two shop girls in front of us awfully in love with a certain second-rate actor who insisted on kissing the heroine every so often, and with her apparent approval. Every time we talked about that those shop girls glared at us as though we were robbing them of their time and money. Finally one of them dragged the other out into the aisle, and dashed out of the house with her dear chum, saying, so all could hear: "Well, come on, Terasa, we might as well go, if these two talking pests are going to keep this up behind us." The poor girl's voice trembled. She was in tears. She was gone before we could apologize or offer flowers. So I say in applying this chapter, in our present stage of civilization, sit on the front seat, where no one can hear your whisperings but Mary Pickford on the screen. She is but a shadow there, and will not mind.

zvookster, Friday, 9 August 2013 02:18 (eleven years ago)

three years pass...

I really can't stand people who whine "what if someone shoots up the place" as a rebuttal for not allowing people to actively use phones during a movie.

is your first reaction when bullets start flying to send your boo a msg "hey baby they shootin" rather than, idk, RUNNING?! would the ushers see you on your phone and go "yo man I know we all scared and that we might die but I'ma need you to put that away"?

Neanderthal, Sunday, 16 April 2017 15:46 (eight years ago)

(prompted by a local who is loudly protesting Chris Rock's "no cell phones" policy at his upcoming show here)

Neanderthal, Sunday, 16 April 2017 15:47 (eight years ago)

I thought this thread would be about people who communicate entirely thru film quotes/refs

briscall stool chart (wins), Sunday, 16 April 2017 17:12 (eight years ago)

lol

Neanderthal, Sunday, 16 April 2017 17:18 (eight years ago)

*raises hand*

TS Hugo Largo vs. Al Factotum (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 16 April 2017 17:25 (eight years ago)


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