Master Cleanse For Bloated Addicts

Depending on my mood, I might actually enjoy this as a kind of personal expression.

Is one allowed to freebase Doritos?

ahh, george hamilton's secret

My will is strong!

Touche!

To be honest, you never really feel hungry, which is surprising. The first 2 days you THINK you're hungry a little bit, but if you have the drink whenever you THINK you're hungry, you realise that you're really not hungry and that it's more of a mental thing. There are no hunger pangs.

By day 5, which for me was the WEEKEND, you start dreaming about the food you want to eat. I made a list of food I plan to eat as soon as this is over. To my surprise the only junky thing I'm really craving is a pizza roll! Everything else is nuts and fruit and generally "healthy" stuff, I guess.

But, even on the weekend with nothing to do except laundry, it was not difficult to stop myself from eating. I just rationalized: well, I'm halfway there and to stop now would be annoying. Besides, the drink fills me up and I've already lost 10 pounds.

Today, back at work, it's easy as pie to maintain the fast.

One thing I forgot: AMAZING MENTAL CLARITY. I'm pounding out the work that normally infuriates me as if it ain't no thing. This in itself is quite the awesome benefit!

Ha, yeah you're right, yesterday would be no big accomplishment!

Last Monday, as in Feb. 28th.

Well, ideally no.

But, it is supposed to kill your addictions for various substances, including alcohol and cigarettes. I have to admit, I don't crave either.

And beyond that, what the fuck food were you eating that was filled with 'toxins', anyway? Sorry, but eat an apple for christsake. Bah!

Dude seriously this doesn't sound like it's actually good for you if it'd doing this to you.

Could you give a pointer to me?

How you feel after eight days of dieting has little bearing on the actual effects, short-term and long-term, on your body.

Anyway, this is your own body and its up to you all to do whatever with it. I myself am going to go eat something with lots of salt and butter, and have a glass of wine. I biked 18 miles today, and I am feeling quite good.

I still don't understand what the point of fasting is (toxins?), but again, its your choice to try it out. I guess more energy and stuff would be nice.

Mark, fasting is a diet, albeit a short term one. Not sure what you mean by that.

I still don't understand what the point of fasting is (toxins?), but again, its your choice to try it out. I guess more energy and stuff would be nice.

Mark, fasting is a diet, albeit a short term one. Not sure what you mean by that. xpost

Also, there's pesticides, herbicides, preservatives, additives. I'm not trying to propagandize (is that a word) here, lord knows I eat pretty much the worst shit possible, but yeah those are basically some of the toxina

w/r/t miracle diets: bullshit. Why don't you just go get some exercise and eat healthy food?

And before someone chimes in with "but it's not that easy!" I will say this: yes, yes it is.

Plus: exercise. Kind of a magic bullet, guys.

Fluid shedding = yes, obviously. Got rid of the bloated double neck and lovehandles, so that's good, I say.

Working out for muscle gains is not advised since you'll be deteriorating your muscles without any protein to rebuild, but you'll certainly have enough energy to jog your ass off, which is what I've been doing.

And yes, if you go back to eating shitty food, you'll wind up where you started, of course.

But, hey, I'm almost finished so I'll be able to report if I gain it all back by the end of the month or not! I figured that since my results have convinced my mom and girlfriend to try it, I might try to spread the word to other poor bloated alcoholics like myself. Those kidneys need a good cleaning! I don't know if it's supposed to do anything for the liver...

Robin Quivers lost 60lbs. and has been doing this for at least a year now. Obviously, she eats something besides the drink at this point, but she still drinks it a few times a day and is in great health, according to her doctor (and she's a nurse, by the way).

Now, when I was working out all the time and NOT drinking, I couldn't break 170 no matter how long or how hard I tried. So, to the know-it-alls who suggest eat better food and exercise... and especially the dude who says "Yes, it really is that easy!"... your hatin' advice is silly.

I wish you would describe the drink's preparation, in more detail, though.

The cayenne pepper is supposed to be 1/10th of a teaspoon. That is such a tiny amount, it is easy to handle more. It actually makes it very yummy because without the cp it's a bit sweet. Basically, season to taste and the hotter the better (but watch out for the hot shits!)

THIS is a silly thing to say: "So, to the know-it-alls who suggest eat better food and exercise...your hatin' advice is silly."

This is like saying breathing and heart-pumping are bad.

...my only point is that while getting fit isn't EASY, it is SIMPLE. Which is to say: finding the will and the motivation to eat well and exercise is extremely difficult. The recipe itself is straightforward.

I don't know where you'd get blackstrap molasses, here.

RJG, I forgot one thing: the lemon juice is supposed to be FROM A LEMON, not a bottle of lemonjuice. Supposedly, the enzymes are all oxidized in the bottles. I don't know if it's true or not, but I didn't feel the need to rebel against the plan. I used real lemons. It's also easier to just squeeze half a lemon than it is to measure out 2 tbsps of lemon juice.

crosspost

Eegh. I'm beginning to understand, here. For what it's worth (and I'm not sure how pertinent this is): exercise is better when it's a fun hobby, not a boring chore (ie - biking is waaaay more fun than running, rock climbing kicks weight training's ass).

http://www.celebstation.org/actresses/robin_quivers/Robin_Quivers-003.jpg

That inaccurate -- but we certainly don't know *everything* about nutrition. Sounds like you're in a grey area.

8 ounces of lighter fluid
2 tbsp of hiv + semen (or type o blood, hiv +)
1/2 stick of butter (4 tbsp)
1/10th crack rock (as low-grade as you can stand it-- apparently, more ELOs is better).

no, no... that's not what that is. It's simply a way to survive on the least possible nutrients, with a red pepper kicker for extra colon blow. There's nothing miraculous about it.

i would def eat some tofu along the way tho.

That said, I am a proponent of periodic cleanses, especially for people who eat processed food. Going without protein for a few days is no big thang.

I will probably try this once I'm done being pregnant and breastfeeding our baby, if I can muster the will.

A word of caution, though. Don't get addicted to the feeling of being hungry and energized. I struggled some with anorexia when I was younger. It's an amazing feeling to be able to survive on air and water and feel like you are light as a feather. It makes you feel superhuman. Don't get hooked on it.

Jesus Christ, it says on the fuckin' package: "Not a significant source of Iodide (which I think is a misspelling)." There's iodized salt and there's salt that points out to the consumer that it's NOT iodized. So it is not the daftest thing to say.

It's lemonade-y, I guess. It is not easily described, but that does not mean it's disgusting or terribly odd tasting. The first sip and you go, "Oh, this is pretty good, actually!"

There's plenty of stuff online about it, blogs about people's experiences, etc. I really didn't think it would be anything new to everyone, but if anyone is planning on doing it, please read more about it online so I don't feel responsible if you die. ;-)

Well, it definitely does the trick.

Oh, another thing: with all the shitting, you'd think I'd be dehydrated, but my pee is clear, which is an indication of being properly hydrated.

There aren't any in your organs. There might be in your intestines.

Stuff? There is plenty of stuff in your liver, kidneys, gall bladder, etc. Namely, built up toxins.

& I imagine, on the Master Cleanse, you're not going to have much that'll need to come out via urea.

Anyone try the South Bronx Paradise diet yet? That's the good shit.

This cleansing fast does not work for everyone and the side-effects when it doesn't work seem particularly shattering/gross.

SUPPOSEDLY, if you have a lot of toxins in your system, they make you feel sick as hell until they are expelled by the saltwater flush. I can attest to this to some extent. The first time I drank the saltwater flush, I had "the flue" for approximately 1 hour, complete with weakness, dizziness and running nose! The saltwater is supposed to really stir it up, so it is common. I was not looking forward to my second saltwater flush, but it was nothing. Only the first time did I feel like I had the flu. I always get the sniffles a little bit, though, and blow my nose at least once.

"I don't understand why some people seem so afraid of this. you are not going to die of malnutrition or even starvation in ten days, geez,"

because it's FUCKING RETARDED

It is rather inexcusably vague.

Elaborate, please.

Mercury definitely can do damage to you. However, the term "toxins," as used in the context of new-age fasts, is extremely vague, incorporating pesticides, various food components (which for most people are okay in moderation), and feces and similar bodily excrements.

The entire body is full of bacteria, poisons and waste.

Some digestive-tract bacteria are benign or even useful, as long as they stay in your digestive tract. "Poisonous" in this context is relative to the substance's LD50 and the consumer's body tolerance for the substance -- did you know that a glass of orange juice, when metabolized, yields more methanol than the same amount of aspartame-sweeted diet soda? And any complex multicelluar organism is going to produce wastes as part of the function of living.

What is a toxin, jackass?
A: A poisonous substance, especially a protein, that is produced by living cells or organisms and is capable of causing disease when introduced into the body tissues but is often also capable of inducing neutralizing antibodies or antitoxins.

renal failure
n : inability of the kidneys to excrete wastes and to help maintain the electrolyte balance

Creatine has been linked to renal failure. See definition of toxin again.

If you've tried a cleanse, you sure haven't tried THIS one, so you are going on hearsay. So shut your fuckin' yap already.

go eat out of a cat litter box.

I love Ilx b/c it reminds me of how much I fucking hate people.

"no dis"

ok, I'm now convinced that this is an elaborate satire of some kind, there's no way anyone could say this without a sense of irony.

ps.
http://bestmessageboardever.com/uploads/post-862-1110403616.gif!!!!!!

"Dutch scientists have found that eating a meal boosts the immune response that destroys viruses like those causing colds, while fasting stimulates the response that tackles the bacteria to blame for most fevers caused by illnesses such as bronchitis and tonsillitis."

In sugar refining, molasses is separated from the sugar crystals after each of three boiling or extraction processes that sugar cane goes through. The 3rd and final separation is called blackstrap molasses, and is used mostly as an ingredient in cattle feed.

Acute renal failure is sudden loss of the ability of the kidneys to excrete wastes, concentrate urine, and conserve electrolytes. ("Acute" means sudden, "renal" refers to the kidneys.)

Causes, incidence, and risk factors 
The kidneys filter wastes and excrete fluid by using the bloodstream's own natural pressure. There are numerous potential causes of damage to the kidneys:

* Decreased blood flow -- this may occur when there is extremely low blood pressure caused by trauma, complicated surgery, septic shock, hemorrhage, or burns; associated dehydration; or other severe or complicated illnesses.
* Acute tubular necrosis (ATN) -- may occur when tissues aren't getting enough oxygen or when the renal artery is blocked or narrowed (see acute arterial occlusion of the kidney and renal artery stenosis).
* Over-exposure to metals, solvents, radiographic contrast materials, certain antibiotics, and other medications or substances.
* Myoglobinuria (myoglobin in the urine) -- this condition may be caused by rhabdomyolysis, alcohol abuse, a crush injury, tissue death of muscles from any cause, seizures, and other disorders.
* Direct injury to the kidney.
* Infections such as acute pyelonephritis or septicemia.
* Urinary tract obstruction, such as a narrowing of the urinary tract (stricture), tumors, kidney stones, nephrocalcinosis or enlarged prostate with subsequent acute bilateral obstructive uropathy.
* Severe acute nephritic syndrome.
* Disorders of the blood, such as idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP), transfusion reaction, or other hemolytic disorders, malignant hypertension and disorders resulting from childbirth, such as bleeding placenta abruptio or placenta previa can damage the kidneys.
* Autoimmune disorders such as scleroderma can cause acute renal failure.
* In young children, hemolytic uremic syndrome is an increasingly common cause of acute renal failure. A toxin-secreting bacterium, Escherichia coli, found in contaminated undercooked meats, has been implicated as the cause of hemolytic uremic syndrome.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000501.htm

I'd say a good deal of that refers to toxins!

What causes renal failure?

Renal failure can happen rapidly - over days, weeks or months (acute renal failure) or slowly over a period of years (chronic renal failure).

Acute renal failure

This may occur with any serious illness or operation, particularly those complicated by severe infection. If the blood supply to the kidneys is reduced considerably from blood loss, a fall in blood pressure, severe dehydration or lack of salt, then the kidneys may be damaged. If this problem lasts long enough there can be permanent damage to the kidney tissue.

Sudden blockage to the drainage of urine from the kidney can cause damage. A kidney stone is a possible cause of this.

Acute kidney damage can occur as a rare side effect of some medications and other rare conditions.

Chronic renal failure

There are many causes of chronic renal failure, including inflammatory conditions affecting the kidney tissue, as a complication of long-standing diabetes mellitus (sugar diabetes), chronic blockage to the drainage of the kidneys and as a result of certain inherited conditions such as polycystic kidney disease. Often, the cause has occurred many years earlier and cannot be identified.

I'd say a good deal of that refers to toxins!

And do I hear a, "But those are far from the toxins referred to in the context of New Age fasts!" coming on the horizon? Simple answer: how the fuck do you know? Check out some of the sites and blogs out there of people who overcome serious illnesses using this fast. It began as merely a treatment for ulcers, but has proven worthy to cure all sorts of ailments (my eczema and my zits, so far!)

Compare a western physician's opinion (sound of Godly trumpets) to an eastern physician's opinion. As Harold & Kumar clearly points out, Indians make great doctors often with knowlege of Ayurvedic Medicine and would likely not reject this fast, I claim at the risk of appearing somehow racist.

This really shows how willfully obtuse you are being.

I got a chuckle from your "scrubbing bubbles" comment though.

Maybe but... pardon my being totally disgusting here... haven't you ever had the red pepper shits? Makes you poo like a racehorse, however that is.

That's what I told the judge too.

Perhaps cayenne works better than hoodia?

Sunburned and snowblind is OTM with his "red pepper shits" comment, however you won't have that problem if you don't overdo the cayenne. 1/10th a teaspoon is recommended. Since I read that more cayenne was better, I was fixing my drinks pretty damn hot until I had the pretty damn hot shits. Then, I cooled off on the cayenne.

I guarantee you will have the energy to get up earlier. I did not do the flush until the 3rd day (2nd morning). I have basically followed a pattern: flush, flush, skip a day, flush, flush, skip a day.

If nothing else, this is a great way to change from a "can't move without coffee" and "always hungry" sort of person to someone who has plenty of energy and is never hungry. Like I said upthread, I now believe I ate way too much before and from now on plan to eat most of my food in the evening, just before I go to bed to digest it. That way, during the day I won't be all tired trying to digest my breakfast and lunch (ever noticed how tired food makes you?).

but i never got it again :(

I'm going to ease into regular eating and limit my calories and types of food to fruit/veg/protein for at least a month straight. I can't imagine if my body is "shocked" and storing fat that it will continue to do so for the next month with just enough to feed itself.

(it's kinda totally the opposite scientific principle to yrs so i'm intrigued)

three meals and two snacks and all the eggs and seafood you can eat!! (this is an exaggeration)

This seems to be associated with the B-vitamins (thiamin, niacin, etc), although I haven't localized it to a particular B-vitamin, yet. The Bs are water-soluble, which is why they show up in urine.

Weight: 165 (total loss of 15 lbs. in 10 days).

I feel great, I look about as good as I can look.

I am going to ease off tomorrow the recommended way:

Day 1. Master Cleanse drink as usual, but a few glasses of orange juice throughout the day.

Day 2. Master Cleanse drink as usual, with homemade vegetable soup broth and orange juice throughout the day.

Day 3. Master Cleanse drink with homemade vegetable soup (not just the broth)

Day 4. eat as normal.

I do think I will be continuing to use the drink periodically, if not several times a week. I'll come back and update this thread in a few weeks to let you know what happened AFTER the fast.

Considering that you only poop early in the morning, taking your meds after your toilet time is up would introduce the drugs into your system just the same, I would imagine. I was taking 5-HTP, which naturally creates seratonin, but I just stopped for the 10 days. I'm sure you could continue to take your psychotropic meds and they would be absorbed just fine, if not moreso, with less food in your system. If you feel funny, stop obviously.

Alright, I want an update. How are you feeling these days eleventy-twelve?
-- Miss Misery (texan...), March 15th, 2005.

er, good luck, though.

hey jaymc, that was pulla and me, when we had lunch under the trees near the AI. there was something about a mucous lining of the intestines and something else really unappetizing and i think we stopped talking about it because we were eating. i think that's when i was. i know i was there when the mucous lining was conjured.

I don't think I'll be doing the fast though as I am rather keen on food. But if the results are good for M, who's doing it right now, then who knows...

by the same reasoning, i can't see that a week of eating nothing is going to cleanse the body of toxins built up over a lifetime...?

i'd still take a multi.

lookin at the original post, why the hell would you need a laxitive tea? your insides'd be squishy enough already.

why not

You don't really lose the weight until the last couple days, actually, which is a little strange. The guy who originally made the diet said it was important to do it AT LEAST 10 days or, he believed, it was not really beneficial for some reason (and he was not interested in weight loss, but only detox effects).

The good news is if you can do it 3 days, you can do it 7 days and if you can do it 7 days, you can go the full 10 days. Day 3 and day 7 were always key days for me that felt tougher than the other days. Just, the desire to eat for no real reason other than you're bored or something.

EPIC GRANDEUR
You get pretty "different" after a few days of not eating. Not exactly "spacey" feeling but you feel almost BETTER. More focused. If you do any meditating, you will also notice a big difference in that area-- HUGE difference! I won't get into that, though.

Probably, but it sure feels different from Atkins' ketosis, which I had the displeasure of experiencing afore.

Ketosis does produce toxic nitrogen in the bloodstream which may be why the saltwater flush is a necessary component of the master cleanse; to flush that shit out along with all the other sludge.

Actually, I follow the 3 Hour Diet™, which is essentially supported by every doctor, personal trainer and food pyramid on planet earth. I know there's only one food pyramid. I was just sayin'.

Anyhow, I have a baseball game tonight, so we'll see what kind of power this lends to my game.

The drink continues to be delicious though!

The thing you have to remember about Eleventy-Twelve is that he talks out of his ass. Not just about health advice, but everything. In general. I happen to know for a fact that he is now 175 pounds, which means 1 year later he gained back all 15 pounds he lost by doing this crazy stunt. Also, this may have been the reason one of his dental implants failed which caused him to become super critical of his girlfriend's dental hygiene. Why did he lose his tooth? Braces. Why did he lose his first implant? Probably this damn diet trick. Or the drinking. You see, he claims he is the pinnacle of health, but just the other day, I happen to know for a fact that he was drinking Tequila and cheap beer. Oh he SAYS he does yoga and karate and all that shit, but does he really? Last time I saw him do any yoga was years ago and he hasn't been able to afford going to karate since about 2001-2. Now, he does Pilates in his living room and jogs around a track, does a little weight-lifting and some callistenics. I saw him eat a slice of pepperoni pizza the other day, too. Pretty serious about not smoking, though. He can't stand the smell of a smoker 3 ft. away these days and sometimes switches seats on the subway just to get away from a stinky rain-soaked smoker (worse than a wet dog!). But, anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that I bet if he was here right now, he wouldn't advocate this diet to anyone.

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/50076/2/istockphoto_50076_smiley_toe.jpg

Haha, I get the chuckled here. I gotta smooth move my ass out here.

i didn't feel hungry once, and had plenty of energy. i hiked, swam, surfed, and went out dancing late into the eveing while on the fast. i think its gotta be hard to do it just on lemonade without other nutrition. the garbage that you see end up in the toilet bowl is proof enough that you're doing your body good.

also, DO NOT do it to "save money." if you do it correctly, you'll spend more than you normally would eating for a week. (35lbs of lemons at $1 - $2 a pound... 12 tbsp of organic maple syrup a day at $20/ qt... plus all the supplements....)

i never weigh myself, but i look a little less bloated one week later and FEEL a lot less bloated, especially after eating. i plan to do it twice a year from here on out.

Countless people now have tried to sell colon cleanses based pretty much purely on our modern experience with machines: most people's understanding of the world is that piles get clogged, by nature, and so the same must be going on with our colons, and that can't be good. But by and large there doesn't seem to be much real evidence that (a) there's much stuck in there, usually, plus (b) that the stuff that is stuck in there makes much of a difference.

But your cleanse says there are emotions in there! Old emotions that have accumulated in your ass, dude! Did you manage to flush any of them out, filling toilet after toilet with ... rage, loneliness, fear, and betrayal?

i think the main misunderstanding is that by doing the fast you are forcing a cleanse, when what actually happens is that you let your body clean itself naturally by giving the digestive system a break.

Psyllium swells like a sponge in your intestines and sucks toxins out of the colon, and sweeps it out like a broom as it leaves the lower intestine.

The clay’s minerals are negatively charged whereas toxins are positively charged, so the clay’s attraction works like a magnet, attracting and leaching toxins out of the colon.

It contains herbs that facilitate the extraction of poison from the colon.

Etc. -- i.e., it's definitely pitched as a forced cleanse. Because if it were just a matter of "giving the digestive system a break," you could do that on your own without having to write checks to any jerkoffs.

also, let me clear something up: it's not my cleanse, and i'd like you to stop referring to it as such. it's the cleanse i chose to follow after a good six months of researching various detox plans. one of the main reasons i chose it was because it didn't ask me to write a check before doling out the information. it gave me a shopping list and the option to do that shopping with them or at my local health food store (i chose the latter.)

anyway, i just realized haven't passed a smelly fart in a week (while staying on a regualr diet). i can't remember going three hours without farting something rank before the cleanse. rage and indignation, pehaps.

don't know if that's more or less gross than athlete's foot for 10 years.

and i have a lot of respect for health professionals who can effectivley debunk new age crackpots, but equal respect for holistic and aryuvedic professionals who can debunk modern health/diet practices. its science vs. tradition, and i think there is no real winner.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING, YA DOOF: people who pitch and sell these cleanses are relying on our only being able to conceptualize the colon as a pipe.

Also "feeling better" is totally quantifiable and routinely quantified, as in the following example: "74% of the test group reported 'feeling better' over the next three months, as opposed to 28% of the control group."

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e33/rolocoaster/smelly.jpg

What's kickball, Beth?

y'know, a goofy game on a baseball diamond where people kick a big red rubber ball instead of hitting a smaller ball with a bat. I was just there as a spectator, drinking wine and eating very salty Spanish blue cheese, which is probably STUCK TO MY COLON RIGHT NOW. I don't care.

The walls of the intestines get lined and clogged with rotting meat which does not break down just the same as a carrot or a piece of bread or a rubber ball, for that matter. If more food comes in before the old food gets cleaned out, the intestines swell. During this time, which is at the beginning of the process, you may not shit for a few days, but eventually enough room will be made and enough force generated by the non-stop additional food you're eating that you will finally produce a big, smelly shit. You will think, "Phew! That sure does stink! I guess my system's working pret-ty good to be eliminating all that stinky shit! Nice and solid, too!" But, of course, that's a lot of lesser-digested food and whatever rotten-enough surface clog was loose enough to come with it (the more clogged up your arsehole walls are, the less digested your food becomes, which means you get less nutrition from each meal).

Sometimes, the build-up makes the intestinal surface SMOOTH and you get irritable bowel syndrome or other such wonderful ass troubles.

You see, as has been discussed before on this here board, the human intestine is a fermentation process. It's not a tube. No, a carnivores intestines are more like a tube. Funny, that people here would accuse the ass-cleansing crowd of treating intestines like a tube, when we seem to be the ones who are more aware that it is not like a tube. A carnivore's ass-track is relatively short and straight. That is because the meat goes in and the meat goes out. No problem. But, human intestines are long and winding and just perfect for digesting vegetable matter. People will argue that just because meat has been definitively linked with colon cancer by the American Cancer Society and reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association both as recently as 2005, it is still absolutely necessary and proper and good to eat a certain amount of meat because you need iron and protein and whatnot. That's a completely different argument; meat irritates your asshole in any amount, regardless of what you believe your dietary needs are. There are perfectly healthy vegans who live long lives as beautiful specimens of humanity, so it would seem that's a pointless argument, anyway, as well as irrelevant to the topic at hand, which is a clean and healthy poop chute, lest we forget!

JAMA article:
http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/293/2/172
get your password here: http://www.bugmenot.com

Basic info about meat repeated wherever Google searches are made:
http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976735885

when on the cleanse, you ingest THREE TABLESPOONS of the psyllium per day- THREE. there is no way that what i saw in the toilet was the result of just three tablespoons of anything.

If you would post the actual citation, as opposed to this thing, I would be interested at having a look. Note that unlike you I appear to be in a better position to evalulate medical data; "meat has been definitively linked with colon cancer by the American Cancer Society and reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association both as recently as 2005" is complete bullshit.

JAMA. 2005;293:172-182.

ABSTRACT:

Context: Consumption of red and processed meat has been associated with colorectal cancer in many but not all epidemiological studies; few studies have examined risk in relation to long-term meat intake or the association of meat with rectal cancer.

Objective: To examine the relationship between recent and long-term meat consumption and the risk of incident colon and rectal cancer.

Design, Setting, and Participants: A cohort of 148 610 adults aged 50 to 74 years (median, 63 years), residing in 21 states with population-based cancer registries, who provided information on meat consumption in 1982 and again in 1992/1993 when enrolled in the Cancer Prevention Study II (CPS II) Nutrition Cohort. Follow-up from time of enrollment in 1992/1993 through August 31, 2001, identified 1667 incident colorectal cancers. Participants contributed person-years at risk until death or a diagnosis of colon or rectal cancer.

Main Outcome Measure: Incidence rate ratio (RR) of colon and rectal cancer.

Results: High intake of red and processed meat reported in 1992/1993 was associated with higher risk of colon cancer after adjusting for age and energy intake but not after further adjustment for body mass index, cigarette smoking, and other covariates. When long-term consumption was considered, persons in the highest tertile of consumption in both 1982 and 1992/1993 had higher risk of distal colon cancer associated with processed meat (RR, 1.50; 95% confidence interval [CI], 1.04-2.17), and ratio of red meat to poultry and fish (RR, 1.53; 95% CI, 1.08-2.18) relative to those persons in the lowest tertile at both time points. Long-term consumption of poultry and fish was inversely associated with risk of both proximal and distal colon cancer. High consumption of red meat reported in 1992/1993 was associated with higher risk of rectal cancer (RR, 1.71; 95% CI, 1.15-2.52; P = .007 for trend), as was high consumption reported in both 1982 and 1992/1993 (RR, 1.43; 95% CI, 1.00-2.05).

Conclusions: Our results demonstrate the potential value of examining long-term meat consumption in assessing cancer risk and strengthen the evidence that prolonged high consumption of red and processed meat may increase the risk of cancer in the distal portion of the large intestine.

-----
Don't forget to check out this fine Google Results for more info on recent conclusions. Of course, this is piddlypoo compared to the China Study, which already proved the cancer-meat correllation a while ago to little fanfare ('cept Oprah, who somehow did not manage to cause a controversy like she usually does).

High intake of red and processed meat reported in 1992/1993 was associated with higher risk of colon cancer after adjusting for age and energy intake but not after further adjustment for body mass index, cigarette smoking, and other covariates.

"covariates" is a word i've been looking for for a long time

Here's some selective bolding you'll enjoy:

AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY (HOLY SHIT!)

Eating Lots of Red Meat Linked to Colon Cancer

People who eat a lot of red meat or processed meats may be raising their risk for colon cancer. Although this link has been shown before... (WE DON'T NEED TO READ THAT PART)

The verdict: Eating large amounts of red or processed meat over a long period of time can indeed raise colorectal cancer risk.

The findings, published in this week's Journal of the American Medical Association (Vol. 293, No. 2: 172-182), are based on a long-term study of nearly 149,000 adults between the ages of 50 and 74.

A Few Ounces a Day Raised Risk
The people who ate the most red meat in both time periods were 30%-40% more likely to develop cancer in the lower part of the colon, compared to people who ate the least. People who ate the most processed meats were 50% more likely to develop colon cancer and 20% more likely to develop rectal cancer compared to those who ate the least.

So how much meat are we talking about?

For red meat (beef, lamb, pork), the researchers defined "high" consumption as 3 or more ounces per day for men -- or about the amount of meat in a large fast-food hamburger. For women the "high" amount was 2 or more ounces per day. For processed meat (bacon, sausage, hot dogs, ham, cold cuts) "high" consumption was 1 ounce eaten 5 or 6 days per week for men, and 2 or 3 days per week for women. A slice of bologna weighs about 1 ounce; 2 slices of cooked bacon weigh a little more than half an ounce.

A person who eats red meat a couple of times a week would have been in the lowest consumption group in the study, Thun said.

Eating poultry and fish did not raise the risk of colon cancer. In fact, people who ate more poultry and fish than red meat were less likely to develop the disease.

The study could not compare meat eaters with people who ate no meat because too few participants reported eating no meat.

Read between the lines, yo.

The risks from such a diet are smaller than those from obesity and lack of exercise, both for colon cancer and for overall health.

You really take the fucking dumb side of the study, don't you? They put all these little fragments in there that you are absolutely fixated on to essentially take all the fear out of the results. Obviously, the results conclude that meat creates a toxic environment in your asshole, but all you're reading is, "Holy shit! A whole burger a day is bad? Wow! I'll eat a whole burger 6 days of the week then! Surely, that's perfectly healthy!"

Pork is The Other White Meat, so eat all you want!

And, I hope that despite my assholishness we've all enjoyed ourselves over the past 7 years with flaming shit exchanges such as this because that's what life is all about. I love you guys.

HELLO THAT WOULD BE THE IMPORTANT PART!!! BUZZ THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

Awesome.

btw if u buy into this stuff u r a tremendous faggot

ps. not a dis

pps. fuck u if u disagree

Sorry, revive! I'm doing this again, and I'm wondering if it can really be 2 tablespoons and not 2 teaspoons in the water. Many other places have it as teaspoons, and 2 tablespoons is really undrinkably nasty.

The molasses or the salt?

The salt. Two tablespoons of molasses is delish.

That's a helluva lot of salt, and 2 tsp would work just as well as a purge. 2 tbsp would make me puke.

I confess to trying various cleanses and fasts over the years. I'm not overweight and never have been but it makes me think I feel healthy. I'm unsure if it's actually good for you or not, but the idea that you are losing 5 pounds of compacted fecal matter in you colon is worth relishing.

Anyway, my service provider/codependent in all this is curezone, the one stop shop for all your fasting, flushing, cleansing, coffee enema needs.

WRT salt purge:

start out small. If you dont get any results, add a little more the next morning. I ended up doing between 1 and 2 tablespoons.

it isnt supposed to taste good, btw.

I was thinking about trying this, and have (tentatively) decided on Oct. 12-22, as there are no parties or other food/drink obligations that would conflict with the cleanse during that time.

I do have a few questions to those of you who have done it, though:
* Can you go back to eating regular foods the very next day, or do you have to build up to it?
* Is it necessary to fast before beginning the cleanse?

As far as toxins the body takes in, there are tons. Reading Rachel Carson's "Silent Spring" is how I starting learning about them, but I'm sure there's info online.

This cleanse stuff might be good for habit-breaking, but it's lines like this that make me giggle. Where are you getting the water, sugar, lemon, and pepper for your magic drink from? The amazing organic backyard farm where you grow all this stuff and water the plants with only pure glacial water?

My new thing that pisses off my inner pedant all the time is how detox/colonics/health-crazies use the word "chemicals." "It gets all the chemicals out of your system!" I sure fucking HOPE not, because I kind of need OXYGEN to be ALIVE. Will it clear all the HYDROGEN out of my system, causing my entire body to denature and all my DNA to fall apart? I shouldn't eat this storebought bread because it's full of "chemicals"? Well bread from self-harvested organic grain pounded into flour & made like our forefathers did is still full of chemicals, because EVERYTHING is amde of chemicals, you dipshit!

Abbott you sound like my father, a chemical engineer who whenever he hears a discussion of organic foot exclaims "WELL WHO WOULD EAT *INORGANIC* FOOD ANYWAY?"

I am so glad to know I have company in this world!

the master cleanse inspires rage in my inner most being. sigh. so unhealthy. so not about long term effects. and so misleading.

i believe one's kidneys takes care of "toxins"

Is there any actual medical basis for this "cleansing your system" thing, or is it just some new age mumbo jumbo? Are our systems really "clogged" with unhealthy "chemicals"? Don't they just come out with regular shit?

(x-post)

yeah i don't think it's good for your metabolism at all.

Yeah, a bunch of my old co-workers were really into this. One, in particular. And every time she'd lose a bunch of weight, become really distracted and forgetful (which was great for our working relationship for those 2 weeks), and then EVERY TIME would gain ALL of the weight back, plus an additional 5%. It drove me batty. Which is kind of unfair, because if people want to do things to their bodies that I find rather stupid, how does it harm me?

Yes all that stuff comes out with your SHIT, which is why I have no idea why colonics exist. "See all that horrible stuff coming out of your systems? Those are all your toxins." It's also what most people call POOP. It's POOP. You are sucking POOP out of them with your machine. It is just POOP AUKVGDK VWUIGU!!JKVBDUIFY

I had to fast for at least 24 hours at least once a month as a kid...some Mormon commandment...and personally, I find fasting both pointless and irritating.

i agree. i also think master cleanse is what most people call "anorexia" or "starving yourself".

4 REAL

Although most anorexics I know also have a steady diet of "cocaine."

TBH, I'm not really interested in the "detox" aspects of the cleanse, nor do I care for any of the new-age bullshit that the people into these things tend to go for. I see it more as an exercise in self-discipline than anything else, just to see if I can go the entire ten days without eating solid foods. As someone who was raised to never leave any food left on his plate, I can almost see this as a 10-day sort of "reset" before beginning eating anew, but with better nutritional habits, portion control, etc. If there really is "amazing mental clarity" that comes with it, it'd be nothing more than a side-effect. I'd definitely stop the cleanse immediately if I blacked out or felt too listless to go on. In speaking to the few people I know who've done it, none have reported any negative effects other than gaining the lost weight back over time. But that's to be expected, as it's a fast and not a long-term weight-loss solution.

Without generalizing or being offensive, anyone who does this is fucking retarded.

in order to accomplish nothing besides proving my mental discipline I have decided to survive on pale ale & tums for the next 240 hours

YOU CAN DO IT

But it's Oktoberfest! Märzen & tums would be most appropriate.

marzen and cocktail onions was last week

the problem with expelling all them toxins by such methods, I figure, is that you mostly wind up just inhaling them, or forcing them on everybody else you work with

My wife tried something like this last year and she couldn't keep drinking that disgusting juice for more than about 4 days.

this "less toxins" goal is confusing me.

less toxins = more room for other toxins?

ok i can get behind that

I'm all about the keep 'em moving through, make way for MORE.

... but Abbott is right. Pooing is pooing. Thats what it does. It is WASTE. It doesn't stay stuck in you like gum glued to your insides. It doesnt "rot" in your intestines. If it did we'd all be very very ill people indeed.

well this is what i get for not bothering to read the whole thread.

so this isn't all about drinking booze then?

must drink.. and poop.. and drink while pooping..

http://doublehappiness.ilikenicethings.com/?p=1772

yeah i don't think it's good for your metabolism at all.

― bell_labs, Monday, September 15, 2008 3:08 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark

http://www.timeout.com/img/33337/w513/image.jpg

http://www.oilpulling.com/

this is way better!!

I am still in awe of Beth Parker's "like a fleet of snowplows in the gut" comment. It is so inspirational it makes me feel like crying.

Kelly was doing the Master Cleanse diet on The Office last night. That plus a tapeworm.

moved from other thread:

Saw this stuff on sale at Whole Foods for $10/16 oz bottle. Company is massively creepy:

http://blueprintcleanse.com/

― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 3:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Don't Panic - It's Just A Healing Crisis!

Before you even ask the question - let's just go through the list and remain calm.

Detox Symptoms may include:

•Fatigue
•Headaches
•Constipation/Diarrhea
•Skin eruptions
•Rash/Hives
•Cold sores/Canker sores
•Dry mouth
•Nausea
•Insomnia
•Runny nose
•A ton of energy
•Increased sex drive
•Overwhelming sense of calm and productivity

― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 3:29 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my girl-friend and i are on the second day of fasting. our plan is not to eat for 8 days. we drink herbal tea (in the morning mixed with black tea), vegetable and fruit juices. for lunch we have a hot broth. only liquids, no solid food. the most important thing in the beginning is the cleaning of the bowels which makes the body switch from food processing to transforming the body reserves into calories. for that i have used salt (glaubersalz in german) in the past but i don't anymore as it destroys the intestinal flora. now i carry out an enema which basically amounts to filling a liter of lukewarm water into the rectum. it is a very old way to start fastng, there are passages in the bible referring to it. and it works perfectly. you run to the toilet within 10 minutes. for the time being we re doing well. i have a feeling of lightness and clarity. we'll see how this will go on.

Lookee that, not the thing one expects to get printed in Cosmo:

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/a51634/why-your-detox-is-bullsht/

Why do we buy into these things? Misconceptions seem to abound whenever you repeat a lie often enough in pop culture. And who hasn't heard one of their favorite celebrities promoting one of these? Beyoncé allegedly did the Master Cleanse and she looks … masterfully cleansed, right? Kelly Ripa is doing the Alkaline Cleanse and she looks … alkaline, right? Oh dear. But Holly Corbett at Prevention tried the Master Cleanse, including the salt water flush, and reported "killer cramps," "cat breath," and every dietitian she spoke to said it was bad news. There's probably something to that, perhaps a little more than the advice from a celebrity's trainer.

If you lose weight on these, it's not because it's mastering or alkalizing anything, it's because you're starving. Losing weight and not eating junk food might perk you up temporarily, but these cleanses are not balanced at all. Stop torturing yourself with a trendy diet with a lot of meaningless rules and have a damn salad.

So How Do You Detox?
How are you supposed to stay healthy when your life has you running ragged? This seems to surprise people, but the old advice of a balanced diet, regular exercise, making sure your vaccinations are up to date, and not skipping your annual physical? It's still good advice.

And please, don't spend $9 on juice. Because there's no fairy godmother, no magic wand, and you can't turn back last night's partying after the clock strikes midnight with kale. But you can cleanse your life of bullshit.

and it's not a blanket "fasting is dum" thing - the frenzy people get into about attempting to wash their GI tract clean, as if lemon tea is made of little scrubbing bubbles and it's not a blanket "fasting is dum" thing - the frenzy people get into about attempting to wash their GI tract clean, as if lemon tea is made of little scrubbing bubbles and it's not a blanket "fasting is dum" thing - the frenzy people get into about attempting to wash their GI tract clean, as if lemon tea is made of little scrubbing bubbles

xp: Actually, skipping your annual physical has its merits.

Back to the OP's cleanse, blackstrap molasses is a pretty good source of potassium and magnesium, which given most diets are deficient, likely offers health benefits. Capsaicin, the pungent compound in hot peppers, has gotten a lot more research attention in the past decade. It does indeed increase fat-burning through mitochondrial uncoupling, and consumption of spicy foods reduces mortality in one, two recent prospective studies. The lemon juice probably doesn't have much effect.

Molasses is fine as part of a varied diet. Capsaicin is fine as part of a varied diet. Lemon juice is fine as part of a varied diet. Eating a diet that make you feel generally good over a period of days or weeks, not just pleased at the moment you are eating it, is a good thing. Fasting, if done very occasionally and not for long, is unlikely to hurt most people. Some people feel better afterward because they feel more virtuous.

Engaging in willful, drastic regimes in an effort to 'detoxify' your body in a very short period of time is a stressful, pointless, largely delusional activity, psychologically similar to 19th century doctors who mixed asafetida with their prescribed medicines because their patients believed that the worse a medicine smelled and tasted, the more effective is must be, or akin to penitents who scourged themselves or wore hair shirts in order to purge themselves of the sins they imagined were causing a retributive god to make them ill. It's a common idea that shows up repeatedly in many cultures, but it is baseless except to the extent it acts as a psychological placebo.

Just eat a good diet heavy on fresh vegetables, fruit and whole grains, don't binge on sugary, fatty foods or alcohol, and get a moderate amount of exercise every day, and you'll be ok -- to the extent that your diet can ensure your health, which it can't do entirely. It's not that hard to figure out.

I was thinking about trying this, and have (tentatively) decided on Oct. 12-22, as there are no parties or other food/drink obligations that would conflict with the cleanse during that time.

I do have a few questions to those of you who have done it, though:
* Can you go back to eating regular foods the very next day, or do you have to build up to it?
* Is it necessary to fast before beginning the cleanse?

― sensual harrassment (naus), Sunday, September 14, 2008 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I never actually did this, btw.

I love to do pointless foolhardy crap and therefore really want to do this

This is the drink George Hamilton uses when he's feeling not so great to stay in shape.

i can't stop laughing at this

As great as I've been feeling, I can only conclude that normally we eat way too much food, which makes us tired and perhaps clogs our organs with toxins that never find their way to our rectum.
― Eleventy-Twelve (Eleventy-Twelve), Tuesday, March 8, 2005 5:26 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://i.ibb.co/jMvMVy6/Screenshot-20221006-190948.jpg

gah