If your partner regularly falls asleep on the couch w/o tooth brushing

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Is it fair and right to deny them kisses and sex until they get one dental hygiene? For months now, I have had to wake up my significant other as if this person was a toddler and get into an argument about teeth brushing and flossing. It finally came to the point which I figured it eventually would when s.o. said "You're not my mom and you're not my dad, so give it a rest." My response was, "No, and your mom and your dad aren't here and they're not going to be with you in 20 years when your teeth are falling out of your head. And you don't make out and have sex with your mom and your dad."

I thought that would get the point across, but no. For the last 2 days, I have stopped bothering and so for the last 2 days this person has passed out between 7 and 8 pm with a mouth full of bacteria and rot and slept straight through to morning without brushing or flossing. Before that, I drew a smiley face on the floss that said, "Use me for fuck sakes!" Didn't work at all, of course. I knew it wouldn't.

Even when I have to fight this person to brush, there's no flossing going on. It's just toooooo much of a hassle to draw a string between a few spaces of teeth for 30 seconds. This person is too tired brush teeth AND floss. I guess I should be thankful that any tooth-brushing is going on at all during transfer from couch to bed at 1 - 3 am in the morning after a fight. I pleaded with this person to get new habits; since you KNOW you will fall asleep around 7:30 and you will not wake up until 6 the next day, brush your teeth BEFORE you pass out on the couch. On the off chance this has happened once or twice, it doesn't count if you wake up and eat a sandwich later without rebrushing your teeth. One would think this is obvious. Bread turns to sugar and sugar rots teeth.

I've seen how this person brushes teeth: less than 2 minutes a day, in the morning only, no flossing. This person has breath issues that I have brought up several times. It surprises me that this person does not realize that out of all your body, the ONE important part to pay attention to is your fucking mouth. You can get away with washing your crotch and asshole every other day if you like; it's not going to rot off and become an embarrassing stinkhole you must face the world with.

If there is anything a person does not want to get into a debate about with their s.o., the person they are supposed to love and be attracted to, it is something as disgusting as hygiene.

So, I've decided no more kisses and no more sex. Of course, the sex part is easy, really, with this person passing out at 7:30 each night. If this goes on indefinitely, then obviously no more relationship. We're coming up on going on 7 years now and, if we got married out of a sense of duty to each other, I can clearly see how living together before marriage as a test of sorts doesn't necessarily mean the marriage will last. Clearly, reasons like this are why people get divorced at the 7 year mark.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 10:50 (nineteen years ago)

jizz in his/her mouth

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 21 October 2005 10:55 (nineteen years ago)

Jizz in mouth: I would only do that to a person that actually brushed teeth once in a while.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 10:58 (nineteen years ago)

why?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

And people say *I* do TMI on ILX.

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

Why is this person passing out at 7.30 each night? For me that would almost equate to "partner I only ever see sleeping" (given that I'm lucky to be home by 7pm most nights) - which is no kind of partner at all and would be a bigger deal to me than skipping floss.

Thankfully my wife and I are entirely comfortable with saying "your breath stinks" to each other without fear of offence.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

Why? Because I don't want cum fermenting in the mouth as well.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

Personally cannot understand people who would prefer to pass out on the couch instead of brushing teeth and going to sleep in the comfort of a bed. It feels so much fresher and more comfortable. Withholding of *privileges* might do the trick. Perhaps this person has become too complacent in the relationship?

― saleXander / sophie (salexander), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

Onimo, yes this person is the partner I only ever see asleep. It kind of sucks, but there's not much to do but watch tv most days, I suppose. Often I'm on the computer, anyway.

I'm comfortable saying "your breath stinks." I say it whenever it needs to be said. But, I'm not comfortable playing a parental role with an adult and getting into the same kinds of fights one would expect to get in with a child.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 11:07 (nineteen years ago)

http://home.pages.at/pogues/bilder/shane_mag.jpg

Fancy a snog dahling?

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:13 (nineteen years ago)

if you're serious about hygene you'll know that cum doesn't ferment.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:14 (nineteen years ago)

Why the hell are you even with this person?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:16 (nineteen years ago)

it's you, isn't it, sick mouthy

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

It's sticky and it doesn't smell too good when it dries up, I know that much. Don't need that sticking in oral nooks and crannies. And doesn't everything ferment? Isn't that basically what rotting is? (A state of agitation or of turbulent change or development, a chemical phenomenon in which an organic molecule splits into simpler substances?)

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 11:20 (nineteen years ago)

I have a horrihle habit of taking a 2-3 hour nap at like 9pm-11pm at night. But I am pretty OCD about waking up and brushing teeth and taking a shower before I can go back to sleep again. Maybe you both should start brushing teeth after dinner, so it is out of the way already. Most people brush after every meal anyway.

― Mendoza Lineman (Carey), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:21 (nineteen years ago)

Why the hell are you even with this person?

I've witnessed and been in my fair share of relationships. There is always something like this, if not worse. We get along quite well about most other things and this person is genuine and nice, unlike 90% of the world. Just fucking tired at the end of the day and stuck in old habits.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 11:22 (nineteen years ago)

xxpost but if you're not kissing it why does it matter?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:23 (nineteen years ago)

WTF dental nazi!

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:23 (nineteen years ago)

seriously, if you make it as horrible as you can then it'd be the catalyst you need for this mouth to be cleaned!!! invite garu g round!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:25 (nineteen years ago)

I apologise, I realise it's rich coming from someone with such a poor dental record

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:27 (nineteen years ago)

Clearly, reasons like this are why people get divorced at the 7 year mark.

I'd really love to see this as a reason on divorce papers. Sorry, but I find it rather silly. You say you can't talk about hygiene with your partner. WTF. I mean, it's your PARTNER, if you can't talk to him/her about hygiene...

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:29 (nineteen years ago)

give him a red eye next time.

― bingo (Chris V), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:33 (nineteen years ago)

or a red bull

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:04 (nineteen years ago)

The falling asleep at 7.30 every single night and sleeping til 6 the next day would be a much bigger deal to me as to whether or not a person brushes their teeth, though thankfully I've never dated someone with what appears to be a complete inability to ever brush their teeth.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

I worked with a guy who once claimed that if you completely stopped cleaning your teeth they started cleaning themselves naturally after about six weeks.

Everyone else, all at the same time: "THAT'S HAIR NOT TEETH YOU CLATTY BASTARD!"

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

Uh, hello... "Irreconcilable differences?" This is typically what's cited for all these kinds of issues; when you realize your partner is just not the right match anymore.

Also, I didn't say I can't talk about hygiene with my partner. Where? Reading Is Fundamental. I said I'm done talking about hygiene with my partner. It's not my job to be a parent to a full-grown adult.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 12:39 (nineteen years ago)

jizzing it is, then

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

SO THEN BREAK UP WITH THIS PERSON, WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

Also I mean I understand getting fussy about someone not brushing their teeth but I mean lack of tooth flossing, while I personally think one should brush their teeth, is kind of a little super picky, don't you think? I'd stop listening to a person who wrote "Use me for fuck's sake" on a container of floss and left it out for me, too.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:46 (nineteen years ago)

Ally otm as ususal.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:46 (nineteen years ago)

i think you are being a bit of a dental nazi, as cozen points out, but what's really important is that you find someone who thinks about dental hygiene in the same way that you do. totally freaking out about stuff is ultimately a good thing in weeding out people who freak you out.

― carly (carly), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:49 (nineteen years ago)

I think a person who would be willing to break up an "otherwise perfectly good" marriage over tooth flossing has much bigger issues than can be solved on an interweb message board.

Control freak much?

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:49 (nineteen years ago)

you guys do realise this person is fictional right?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:49 (nineteen years ago)

I only brush my teeth once a day (in the morning) and I never floss unless I have food stuck in my teeth. Does this mean I am evil? I don't think my breath stinks or anything, but that might be because I am addicted to altoids.

― stewart downes (sdownes), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

It certainly doesn't make you evil but you should consider brushing your teeth more often, especially if you are addicted to Altoids, the things are sugar factories.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:51 (nineteen years ago)

No, not a control freak. I had a boss with revolting breath. I couldn't imagine how his wife stuck with him. The reason was, of course, he was rich as hell and they were old as hell and when he was younger he was someone important enough that she was probably still attracted to him.

Basically, the with-holding of kisses/sex is a way of saying, "You're being fucking gross and I'm not attracted to you because when I look at you, I am grossed out, so keep on being gross and this relationship can go right in the toilet along with your teeth."

I don't want to end up with someone who's going to let themselves go to hell. I think you should keep yourself in good shape as a matter of self-respect, not to mention out of respect for your partner.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

Referring to your partner as "fucking gross" shows such a deep lack of respect for your partner that I actually feel sorry for them.

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.petsmile.org/public/..%5Cimages%5CPlaying%20with%20Toothbrush%20Sml.jpg http://www.petsmile.org/public/..%5Cimages%5CPlaying%20with%20Toothbrush%20Sml.jpg http://www.petsmile.org/public/..%5Cimages%5CPlaying%20with%20Toothbrush%20Sml.jpg

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.welbornpet.com/Presentation/Teeth/toothb1b.jpg

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

Of course it would, but I lose respect for people who are fucking gross.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1850000/images/_1853218_dog_toothbrush_300.gif

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:58 (nineteen years ago)

I am gonna start brushing my teeth at work I think.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:58 (nineteen years ago)

is this a thread about british people?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 21 October 2005 13:01 (nineteen years ago)

I have a neurosis about bad smells, like BO and stinky feet, and I am nbow living with the worst stinky feet person in the universe who has serious athletes foot issues, and rotten sox.

But you know what? OK it revolts me and we go over it all the freaking time, and he knows its an issue and tries to fix it, but whatever. I love him, so hey. We deal. Theres this thing you know, its called loving someone? It tends to assist in such situations.

Jus' sayin.

― unhelpful smug git (trayce), Friday, 21 October 2005 13:04 (nineteen years ago)

Father of the American nation, George Washington had wooden teeth - can you imagine how those smelled? And they say *we* have bad teeth!

x-post

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Friday, 21 October 2005 13:05 (nineteen years ago)

i think SO could do better, probably, i mean the whole 'going to bed in the early evening on the couch' thing... but on the other hand you chose this! somebody loving you doesn't give you a free pass to be a skanky pirate whore.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 21 October 2005 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

is this a thread about british people?

No, it's about an upper middle class urban person. If this person was raised in a barn, I could understand. Hell, I'm the hick from the sticks; I should be the one with the poor dental hygiene, right?

It's especially bad when this person's father has "soft teeth" and all kinds of dental problems and this person looks more like daddy than mommy. I suppose it is possible to have daddy's face and mommy's teeth, but I don't know that mommy's teeth are in any great shape either. I've never asked.

xpost: feet can be fixed. And they are covered by shoes. And you aren't generally facing them during moments of intimacy. Gum disease and dental rot poses a much greater problem. Feet also don't fall off and you don't go get feet dentures and partial feet after a life of owning stinky feet.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

I dunno, try living in a small flat with rotting sox in every room of the house that if we dont literally seal them in plastic bags, stink out the WHOLE PLACE.

Still, fair point.

― trayce (trayce), Friday, 21 October 2005 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

(I am so dumped after this post, heh)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 21 October 2005 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

Also, something which has only been tangentially addressed on this thread is this - if this person is sleeping a great deal, and "letting their appearance go" - it could be that they are suffering from some kind of emotional problem. Anything from mild stress to full-on depression.

Harrassing this person, hassling them, and leaving agressive notes on their personal items ("Use me for fuck sakes!"?!?!?) is really not going to help.

YOU are not acting like a partner. You're acting like an over-controlling parent figure. So are you surprised you're getting the response you are?

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Friday, 21 October 2005 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 377 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i just tried to lick my elbow and have hurt my shoulder A LOT - i mean i really tried. i'm going to bed. by the way, this is the most insane thread i have ever seen here.

― sfxxx, Monday, 24 October 2005 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

Don't you hate it when you start a thread because you think people will be on your side and then they aren't?

Absolutely the opposite and incorrect assumption, too.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Monday, 24 October 2005 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, I was just sayin'...

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 24 October 2005 21:50 (nineteen years ago)

Just sayin' a lot of nonsense is what you were sayin'!

― My S.O.'s S.O., Monday, 24 October 2005 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

ATTN SFXXX URGENT

BEFORE YOU GO TO BED

:) Use me for fuck sakes! :)

― sfxxx's dental floss :) (estela), Monday, 24 October 2005 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

i'll just brush, thanks.
i've never had a cavity in my life.
besides, it's not like i'm gonna upset anyone by not flossing tonight.

― sfxxx, Monday, 24 October 2005 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

someone summarise this for too long; didn't read posse

― posse, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 00:19 (nineteen years ago)

i just tried to lick my elbow and have hurt my shoulder A LOT
You can't do this alone. You gotta do the 69 elbow lick move. And an extra rug on the tongue feels even better on the elbow. It has a moisturizing lotion effect. Drink lots of milky tea.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 00:30 (nineteen years ago)

Don't floss in front of your screens, people.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 00:33 (nineteen years ago)

again, due to this thread, i brushed my teeth for a ridiculously long time tonight.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 01:27 (nineteen years ago)

This thread has had little to no impact on my dental hygiene.

― Bombed Out and Depleted / Kate (papa november), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 01:28 (nineteen years ago)

i am convinced that i have awful breath that is scaring off potential MATES

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 01:30 (nineteen years ago)

i fell asleep last night w/o tooth brushing

didn't get laid

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 07:33 (nineteen years ago)

So you THINK! Your gran sat on top of you and... picked boogers between your teeth. MWAHAHAHA.

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 07:41 (nineteen years ago)

(Sorry, my cold is playing tricks with my brain.)

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 07:42 (nineteen years ago)

For a minute thought you were making a reference to the "getting laid" part of the post with gran-action! Ewwwwwww.

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 07:48 (nineteen years ago)

me too!!!! i was bracing myself for a "doing a poo in my flange" comment a la garu g.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 08:38 (nineteen years ago)

ken c has a flange?

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 18:48 (nineteen years ago)

You should see his whammy bar.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 18:48 (nineteen years ago)

Could someone please tell the dear old thread-starter what "oversized shirt" and "headshine" refer to? It's been swirling around in my head like the Lewis Black routine "if it wasn't for my horse, if it wasn't for my horse." No, I suspect you won't. I've been torn between interpreting it as fat and bald/ing or saint (robe and halo).

I noticed nobody jumped into to point out that I started these threads today:
Cameratoss Do you call or email in "sick"?

Why is that?

― My S.O.'s S.O., Wednesday, 26 October 2005 02:20 (nineteen years ago)

you forgot to label them 'read me for fucks sake'

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 02:23 (nineteen years ago)

I didn't label this thread or any of the others 'read me for fucks sake' either.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Wednesday, 26 October 2005 02:24 (nineteen years ago)

can you just get to the point?

― vacuum cleaner (electricsound), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 02:36 (nineteen years ago)

Sure, if you can tell me what about.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Wednesday, 26 October 2005 02:43 (nineteen years ago)

i hate you

― howell huser (chaki), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 02:43 (nineteen years ago)

I love you, Doogie!

― My S.O.'s S.O., Wednesday, 26 October 2005 02:44 (nineteen years ago)

You're a completely worthless human being. I think no one jumped into those threads because, jesus, what boring topics. Who has ever even heard of emailing in sick? No one does this.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

This morning I brushed my teeth, flossed, then re-brushed to remove any floss-flecks that didn't make it out of my mouth.
I did not, however, brush my hair.
Grooming: A Zero-Sum Game.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

You're a completely worthless human being.

And yet they PAY me!

I think no one jumped into those threads because, jesus, what boring topics. Who has ever even heard of emailing in sick? No one does this.

The point is, dear lady, these were the only 2 threads I started yesterday. I start bazillions of threads and it is only every so often some genius applauds himself for realizing it's the guy they know by another name! Oh goodness!

― My S.O.'s S.O., Wednesday, 26 October 2005 14:19 (nineteen years ago)

haha or maybe someone starts creaming their pants when someone notices him every so often. use the cum for the headshine.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

haha or maybe someone starts creaming their pants when someone notices him every so often. use the cum for the headshine.

I do get a kick out of it when someone finally catches on, mainly because it's a big deal to them. Hey, it's so-and-so! No, it's not! Check name! Then I get to change name and act not-too-inconspicuous for a while until next time. Or use login and hang back. What is the headshine?

― My S.O.'s S.O., Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

i get a kick out of when people get a kick out of things. headshine is headshine, innit.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

if you look at your head, look for the bit, that shines. that's the headshine

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

That's the least of his issues, there's still the oversized shirt.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

I get a kick outta you! I don't have a headshine. A little bit on the tip of my nose, maybe.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

My spam email says this:

Real bad. What's troubling you? Will do it. Same for me Mamma in 1898.

What does that mean?

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:11 (nineteen years ago)

That's the least of his issues, there's still the oversized shirt.

All of my shirts just cover my belt. You still get full view of the crotch if that's what you're concerned about. And I don't wear baggy pants. I like to show off my ass! Weehoo!

― My S.O.'s S.O., Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v481/turtle777/attention_whore.jpg

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

Ha, ha, ha. True!

― My S.O.'s S.O., Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:18 (nineteen years ago)

God this thread is excellent

― J (Jay), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 19:34 (nineteen years ago)

four months pass...

I was looking for a particular thread while I came across this one. This is still the most bizarre thread I have ever read on ILX.

― Lovelace (Lovelace), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:32 (nineteen years ago)

I sure do enjoy flossing.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 25 March 2006 02:08 (nineteen years ago)

i heard your partner wants hen fap

― hen fap, Saturday, 25 March 2006 02:26 (nineteen years ago)

Hen Fap in her mouth.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 25 March 2006 02:42 (nineteen years ago)

http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:W8LaLhyMLKcJ:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Arabian_alphabet+%22hen+fap%22&hl=en&gl=uk&ct=clnk&cd=4

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 25 March 2006 02:54 (nineteen years ago)

hay guyz i've been ip banned by a star wars nerd

― fake alext, Saturday, 25 March 2006 02:56 (nineteen years ago)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Himjar_ja.PNG

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 25 March 2006 03:10 (nineteen years ago)

three years pass...

Why? Because I don't want cum fermenting in the mouth as well.

― Aerosol, Thursday, 11 March 2010 20:02 (fifteen years ago)

Your search, 'fermenting cum' returned 1 result(s).

― sleepingbag, Thursday, 11 March 2010 22:11 (fifteen years ago)

Oh man this thread.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 11 March 2010 23:57 (fifteen years ago)

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