anal virgins

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My boyfriend tells me I'm the last sexually active person in London who hasn't tried anal sex. This can't be right, can it? This is just a piss-weak argument to try and get me to do it with him, isn't it?Out yourselves as anal virgins and prove him wrong!

― loggedout, Friday, 29 April 2005 11:55 (twenty years ago)

Oh fer arse fuckings sake.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 29 April 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

Lock thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

i have never had a penis up my ass

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:02 (twenty years ago)

I have also never had that, although...no, forget it.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:04 (twenty years ago)

elaboration is folly

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

Anal reproduction is pollution

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

note: Your boyfriend is probably, also. Hence the desp...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

he hasn't earned his brown wings?

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

He tells me he's had anal sex with every woman he's been out with. I refuse to believe this.

― loggedout, Friday, 29 April 2005 12:10 (twenty years ago)

Say to your boyfriend that you'll agree to do it if - and only if - he agrees to let you wear a strap on an take him from behind too. And assure him he's the last guy in London to not have had this done to him. Guys pressuring their gfriends into this = BS.

― Cza, Friday, 29 April 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

Well, some kind of shit anyway.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

He speaks the truth...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

who does?

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

i hate those fucking virgins who always need to keep a clean apartment and are always re-arranging things...

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

And if he's had anal sex with every woman he's been out with please PLEASE make sure he's given you an HIV test by now. It's your life.

― Cza, Friday, 29 April 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

yeah, bumaids is the worst kind of aids.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

just in case there was a demand for an acoustic cover of "I Kill Everything I Fuck"

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

Cza OTM.
And fuck him with the strap on first btw.

― Nellie (nellskies), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

Before you let him anywhere near your Coulter

― Nellie (nellskies), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

i think that's quite fair

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

I won't even insert contact lenses, meself.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

jesus, a) he's obviously lying, b) even if he weren't, it's your call, c) why am i giving a blatant troll this "advice"?

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

trolls need (bum)love too.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

haha, well said. xpost

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

I'm reasonably certain you want a doctor to give you an HIV test, not the random dude trying to get his dick in your ass.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

and giving it to you might not really increase your confidence level of the situation either

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

"Here, have this HIV test. Can I fuck in the ass NOW?"

― The Ghost of Stop Dating The Outhere Brothers (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

I guess this is what Electronic meant by saying "Feel every beat."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

be firm, loggedout.

no trucker hat, no love.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

just do it already

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

http://www.patched.de/fun/Nike.jpg

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

not really SFW

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

just do it already

Post pictures!

― The Ghost of Tubgirl #2 (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

the very mention of tubgirl makes me sickly.
slappetty slap to thee.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

If your cooter isn't enough for him, tell him to get lost. You'll go ass-up when you're ready, and hopefully it won't be with someone who makes you feel like a pariah.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:12 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha is it really inevitable???

"Baby, I'm finally ready; PACK YOUR BAGS FOR BROWNTOWN!"

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:13 (twenty years ago)

and so the law of ass hath been spoke.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

(PS: Is there anything that is not improved by the addition of a Banana?)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

Dan, you are a treasure. (And no, actually, I don't think it's inevitable.)

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

I don't really like the idea of anal sex. He's trying to make me feel like I'm some kind of prude because of it. I'll do it if and when I ever feel like doing it, and not before. Although I note not one single other person on this thread, logged off or otherwise, has admitted to never having had anal sex, maybe times have moved on and I really am a prude.

― loggedout, Friday, 29 April 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

one day i will collate all the threads posted by 'loggedout'. are they all the same person? what a hectic and dilemma-strewn life they lead!

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

Be sure to say 'Ooh Baby, I can feel you'

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:28 (twenty years ago)

yeah, but (xpost) how many women have posted up to now?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:28 (twenty years ago)

er, boys do it too.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

it takes to to assfuck, mark

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000060MWN.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

"Just imagine you're having a poo"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

i've never done it, and don't have much desire to.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

"Just imagine you're having a poo"
-- Ste (ste.foste...), April 29th, 2005 2:32 PM. (Fuzzy) (later)

backwards

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

Fuck, why do women make such a song and dance about anal sex? It doesn't hurt if it's done properly. If he wants it so bad give it to him, and just make damn sure you get something nice in return. Make him take you out to dinner or go down on you for an hour or something. If you can't take anal sex, how on earth will you ever get through giving birth?

― James RX, Friday, 29 April 2005 13:42 (twenty years ago)

jaymc OTM

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:43 (twenty years ago)

buddy, you are one fucked-up midwife.

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 13:44 (twenty years ago)

hello again, yes I know, maybe I'm assuming that loggedout is a girl who wants girl feedback...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

sorry mark, i overlooked the solemnity with which the title 'anal virgins' was chosen.

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

Buried treasure.... BURIED TREASURE!!

― The Ghost of Haha (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

if you don't want to do it, don't do it. if every other girl in london jumped off a cliff...

if he has a decent bone in his body, he wouldn't want you to do it unless you were going to enjoy it too. if you're doing it nuder duress, i don't see how you could. you should probably think about that, too.

― stevie (stevie), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

if he has a decent bone in his body,

Instead of in hers. Er, wait.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

nuder duress is the WORST kind

― N_RQ, Friday, 29 April 2005 13:50 (twenty years ago)

if you think it's such a small deal why would you ask for something in return?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:52 (twenty years ago)

I would actually like to see this anal sex song and dance. Does it have Fosse choreography?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

Anal That Jizz

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 April 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

"Come on in, we're going to paint the town....."

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

i agree with the strap-on idea. fuck that shit.

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

One Must Worship What One Finds Holy, Vol #23: The Booty Forum! (nsfw)

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

Anal sex is the blowjob of the new millenium.

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:05 (twenty years ago)

GET ONE MOUTHWASH

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

if you think it's such a small deal why would you ask for something in return?

Ken, I think he's straight.

― BARMS, Friday, 29 April 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

I actually don't find it very difficult to believe that he has had anal sex with all of his partners, especially if he's wheedling you into doing it. I think this guy just sounds like a pushy turbodouche and should probably be avoided. It just sounds like sex is some stupid game and taking someone's anal virginity is a high score for him. Ech. If you're going to have anal sex with someone, a person with that mentality is so not the person to do it with.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:10 (twenty years ago)

ASS(ha)uming the thread starter isn't just trolling, it sounds like NEW B/F TIME TO ME. Does this guy have any respect for you whatsoever? AKA matt perpetua OTM

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

if he has a decent bone in his body,

Instead of in hers. Er, wait.

and that's exactly how i typoed it in the first draft. after wednesday's embarrassment with the porno thread, i am posting verrrrrry carefully.

― stevie (stevie), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

Taking sides: Lysol Douche vs Turbo Douche.

― BARMS, Friday, 29 April 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

I'm not a girl, but I know at least couple of girls who've never had anal sex. And they're the only ones I've asked about this, so there's bound to be more.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

you and your friends have the best discussions tuomas!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:23 (twenty years ago)

TUOMAS: [leaning out window] Hey, Finnish girls! Had one anal sexx?
FINNISH GIRLS: [offstage] NO! Too busy being adorable in braids and dressing like the Skittles and going on walks and having our heads shaved by you!
TUOMAS: Thanks! I will post this information on the Internet now! Later, I will kiss your boyfriends, and then you!
FINNISH GIRLS: Okay! We love you Tuomas.
TUOMAS: I love you too, Finnish Girls!

exeunt

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

Time to emigrate.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

ach, that's too excelsiorable. I'll wait for the novel.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:26 (twenty years ago)

They're my friends, for Pete's sake! Friends share.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:26 (twenty years ago)

Er, that could've been better worded...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

Finally, someone looking out for ME.

― Pete? (stephen morris), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:28 (twenty years ago)

OMG

― The Ghost of Too Many ROFLs (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

He should fuck a cantelope .... its just like anal sex but no one gets hurt!

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:34 (twenty years ago)

not to be the vice-style voice of pressuring asshole boyfriends or anything, but there are in fact many women who enjoy being fucked in the ass every now and again. and everyone has their first time for anything, really.

― vice-style voice of pressuring asshole boyfriends (gcannon), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

fuck a cantelope jon.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

I think everyone who says he should let her do him first is spot on.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

Wouldn't the Vice-style suggestion be more like "Slip roehypnal into her wine cooler and post pictures of yourself ramming her passed-out pooper with your godmuscle in your myspace journal like the Platinum-Age Lothario you are"?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

I don't know about that, Miss Misery. I think then he'd be even more pushy about making her do it, and if she doesn't want to, she really shouldn't feel obligated to.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

Although I note not one single other person on this thread, logged off or otherwise, has admitted to never having had anal sex, maybe times have moved on and I really am a prude.

I, JE4NNE ƒURY, HAVE NEVER TAKEN IT UP THE ASS.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

Me neither.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

or he'd enjoy it so much he starts demanding more strap on bumming fun!

xxpost

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:54 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)

http://members.cox.net/twiki1/addams02.jpg

― The Ghost of Your Loss (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

"she should do him first" yeah, coz anal sex = punishment & degradation. look, no doubt this is a troll, and if based at all on reality, troll's bf no doubt a bastard. but jesus, when it comes to ass ilx turns into a bunch of prudes.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:59 (twenty years ago)

"turns to"

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

Dude, if you aint willing to take it up your behind then don't be so expectant that your gfriend should either. And some of us just don't like the idea - I aint got any attraction towards the act at all, personally.

― Cza, Friday, 29 April 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

Geoff OTM. Anal sex doesn't have to be painful or particularly weird, and it doesn't have to be tied up in degradation, etc. It's not even very exotic anymore. But this guy is clearly a jerk. No one should be pressured into sex acts that they are comfortable with, and this guy is really pushing it in a way that strongly implies that he's all about conquest and not about pleasing her at all. He just sounds like he has very unhealthy and selfish attitudes about sex.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

Err, that should be No one should be pressured into sex acts that they are UNcomfortable with

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

I don't know about that, Miss Misery. I think then he'd be even more pushy about making her do it, and if she doesn't want to, she really shouldn't feel obligated to.

no, I seriously doubt he would find this a cool idea and would probably back off, leaving her rear in its pristine shape.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

But really, no one should be pressured into sex acts, full stop.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

OK, to play devil's advocate... I do actually love hot ass sex, not all the time but every now and then. And I'm blessed with a girlfriend who feels the same way. If I was going out with someone who'd never even tried it, I'd suggest it and encourage her to try it at least once. After all, in my experience a lot of girls do like it. And if she asked me had I done it with other girlfriends, I'd answer truthfully that yes, with most we've at least experimented with it. As long as he takes no as no, I think he's in his rights to try and encourage her and see if she might like it, after all, sexual compatibility is important.

― Bryan P., Friday, 29 April 2005 15:08 (twenty years ago)

I don't know, lots of dudes who want to have anal sex are open to being penetrated themselves, and surely there are a good number of men who are just waiting for some girl to demand that they are pegged. Now, yeah, there's a lot of men who would recoil in horror, but it's not worth risking the guy saying yes and doing it for whatever reason only to demand that she do the same. If she doesn't want to have anal sex, she certainly shouldn't find herself in a situation in which she may feel obligated out of some sense of fairness to do so.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

but i do like the idea of a tariff being set up

For the Ladies
Anal sex: 50 points
Bukkake: 300 points/person
C on T: 100/boob/cm³

For the Gents
Going down for an hour: 50 pts
Take gf out for dinner: 50 pts
Strap on anal fucking: 50 pts
HIV Test: 100 pts

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:10 (twenty years ago)

relax Matthew. I doubt anyone here thinks this probably non-exsistant person should become a backdoor betty just to please her boyfriend.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

Bryan, there's a huge difference between encouraging and belittling-as-means-of-forcing.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

Just giving the benefit of the doubt!

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

Are those points redeemable in Argos?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

and those points hopefully will come in those little tickets like those you get in amusement arcades that you can exchange for sweets and toys

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

with 5,000,000 pts being this unobtainable number that gets you something really outrageous - the equvalent of the Playstation 2 or the portable TV that costs 50,000 tickets at your local Namco Station.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

I can't honestly say I'd want to date a girl who'd had anal sex with a lot of partners. Then again, I wouldn't want to date a girl who'd had a lot of partners full stop.

― Cza, Friday, 29 April 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

Calum, your ideas about relationships are intriguing and matter to everyone on ILX!

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:23 (twenty years ago)

"leaving her rear in its pristine shape"?? M. Misery you are the LAST person i'd expect to be hewing to this reactionary sex = dirty line.

since this thread values mere anecdotal "personal experience" over rational argument, i'll fess up: i've given, and taken (from women) and it's fucking great.

and as for YOU calum, my only requirements for a partner is that a) i like her, b) she likes fucking me, and c) she is not ill and infected. beyond that, history is history.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

I was being sarcastic really. everyone knows I fancy the backdoor.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

Hey Geoff - I'd say you are an ass, sir. Why the fuck do I care what your requirements are? They differ from mine. Big fucking deal. I hope you are in a loving relationship. No go die. Cheers.

― Cza, Friday, 29 April 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

haha ok sorted sam.

the politics of ass are odd cos both men and women have one... still this "let HIM take it first, the dirty dog" line is odd cos it assumes the girl will suddenly be into all the contraptions required for pegging. the open exchange of ideas btw partners /= "equality" in the strictest literal sense.

but yeah, some ppl just aren't into butt at all, that's fine i guess (tho zzzz imo)

― g e o f f (gcannon), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

Fuck, why do women make such a song and dance about anal sex? It doesn't hurt if it's done properly . . . If you can't take anal sex, how on earth will you ever get through giving birth?

You say this, I'm quite positive because you've had both anal sex AND given birth. Right? Right?

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

an ass?! well done, you cheeky wag you

― g e o f f (gcannon), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

i'm still figuring out what would be worth the illusive 5,000,000 points! maybe just a colour TV.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

Calum, I get turned on when you get defensive aggressive. More, please!

― anal bum cover, Friday, 29 April 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

xpost i'd give birth only if someone would take me out to dinner first.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

maybe giving birth would be the prize for 5,000,000 pts

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

If you assume the initial poster is actually Calum (Cza), as I did immediately, and then you see the public Calum (Cza) jumping to the defense of this poor anal virgin, and proceeding to propose a fairly hard-core gender reverse sexx fantasy, and then protesting that he's not really into this sort of thing at all, you have to almost admire the Mobius-like complexity of Cza's ingrown power fantasies. It's like "All of Me" or something.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 29 April 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

I don't want to be done up the wazoo, but I like doing it up the wazoo. Am I sexist, selfish even, or is that normal male hetero sexuality?

― yogurt cannon, Friday, 29 April 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

My feelings on this:
1. I've never taken a dick up the ass - no one has ever asked.
2. I have been ass-fucked by a vibrator, and enjoyed it.
3. I have ass-fucked several women, and enjoyed it. The couple of times they were uncomfortable, I stopped. The ones who didn't want to do it, I didn't push. Most who did seemed to enjoy it.
4. The big one: don't let anyone push you into doing something you don't want to do. These exchange ideas are all very well, but they only work if you don't really mind, and someone else's idea of a fair exchange won't be the same as yours anyway.
5. Your bf is being an asshole in pushing about this. I don't know how clear you have been in your replies to him, but if "I really don't want to do this, and I would really like you to stop asking me" doesn't stop him, he is no good and should be dumped.
6. Many women have done it, many haven't. This is irrelevant to whether you want to do it.
7. I don't know your bf, obviously, but someone who makes this big a deal about fucking every woman in the ass is to be regarded with considerable suspicion, I think.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 29 April 2005 16:44 (twenty years ago)

I don't know your bf, obviously, but someone who makes this big a deal about fucking every woman in the ass is to be regarded with considerable suspicion, I think.

I agree. It also made me think of Mallrats:

Shannon Hamilton: You see, Bruce, I like to pick up girls on the rebound from a disappointing relationship. They're much more in need of solace and they're fairly open to suggestion. And, I use that to fuck them some place very uncomfortable.

Brodie: What, like the back of a Volkswagen?

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 29 April 2005 16:49 (twenty years ago)

is this the point when i should post the bumhumpin'-focused adaption of the Lovin' Spoonful song?

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Friday, 29 April 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

is this really a controversy?

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Friday, 29 April 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

your ass feels so empty without me

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 April 2005 17:38 (twenty years ago)

logged out, Cza, mark grout, Nellie and Pashmina are all in agreeance

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:13 (twenty years ago)

logged out and Cza are having dirty anal sex all over my white couch.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:17 (twenty years ago)

now we know what "agreeance" means

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:22 (twenty years ago)

I won't even insert contact lenses, meself.

-- Dr Morbius (wjwe...), April 29th, 2005 9:29 AM.

they're supposed to go in your eyes, you know!

― Amon (eman), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:48 (twenty years ago)

My boyfriend tells me I'm the last sexually active person in London who hasn't tried anal sex.

I understand his ends, but disagree with his means. This is clearly some sort of primitive "all the cools kids are doing it" approach to the issue. Maybe he's a jerk, maybe he just lacks tact -- I will not judge, since he is your boyfriend, and there must be some good things about him. His desire to have anal sex with you is definitely not by itself an indicator of his selfishness. Maybe if you said, "I've done it before, and I most certainly did not care for it," then he'd be a jerk for pushing the issue. But you've never done it.

All that said, anal sex takes time and patience and is altogether a more delicate process than vaginal sex, which is itself a pretty delicate process. I recommend it from personal experience at both the giving and receiving end, though I've only ever been fucked with a vibrator. If you're willing to try it, start small. Do not just give him carte blanche to lube you up and go as your ass, not ever. That's a non-starter every time. Have him start with a finger, while he going down on you, carefully and at great length. Plugs and toys might be a next step.

It's not all bad, and in fact sometimes it's very good, and who knows? You might love it. There ARE a lot of nerves in there. It's an aquired taste, though, to be sure.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 01:14 (twenty years ago)

If you know what I mean!!!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 30 April 2005 01:51 (twenty years ago)

"an acquired TASTE"

mwahahahaha

― sugarpants: new and improved! (sugarpants), Saturday, 30 April 2005 01:59 (twenty years ago)

Well, I just think that there's no reason he couldn't take it up the ass if he's so keen fer her to do so, he's more likely to reach climax while doing so.

― Nellie (nellskies), Saturday, 30 April 2005 02:10 (twenty years ago)

I think then he'd be even more pushy about making her do it...

this guy is really pushing it in a way that strongly implies that he's all about conquest

The couple of times they were uncomfortable, I stopped. The ones who didn't want to do it, I didn't push.

Good grief, man. Am I the only one on this thread seeing thru the special Rowdy Roddy Piper They Live sodomy glasses when it came to the above passages?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 30 April 2005 02:24 (twenty years ago)

(Inserting Message... Success!)

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 30 April 2005 02:27 (twenty years ago)

http://www.urbanized-records.com/home/pics/jackets/7000/7085.jpg

― Amon (eman), Saturday, 30 April 2005 02:42 (twenty years ago)

If the ass is hungry enough, you don't have to push much.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

chompin' down like ms. pac-man

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Saturday, 30 April 2005 03:14 (twenty years ago)

for god's sake MEN HAVE A SEX ORGAN UP THEIR ASS. Why are women bending over?

― Nellie (nellskies), Saturday, 30 April 2005 03:51 (twenty years ago)

That's a bit of an oversimplification. Neither sex has proper sex organs in their ass. Both sexes are well-documented to enjoy anal sex.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 04:09 (twenty years ago)

i can put a proper sex organ in your ass, if you like.

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 30 April 2005 04:37 (twenty years ago)

mmm...

We'll see.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 04:48 (twenty years ago)

i think i have more of a sex calliope than just a sex organ

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Saturday, 30 April 2005 05:40 (twenty years ago)

A sex nickelodeon?

― MANTASTIC! (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 05:42 (twenty years ago)

london FANCY A BUMFUCK

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Saturday, 30 April 2005 06:42 (twenty years ago)

Nellie has a bloody good point though - guys I hate to tell you this but women dont and can't get out of it what you blokes do, we've no prostate.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 30 April 2005 06:45 (twenty years ago)

I dunno, Trayce... the girls I've known who enjoyed it did so far more than I did. You'll think I'm stretching the truth, but I am not.

― ..kenan.. (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 06:49 (twenty years ago)

than you enjoyed giving or receiving kenan?

― gem (trisk), Saturday, 30 April 2005 06:51 (twenty years ago)

xpost

Which is to say, the prostate is irrelevant. The prostate increases the volume of ejaculation, if massaged properly. Perhaps the pleasure, if you use your imagination, which is probably the key no matter what sex you are. For those only concerned with orgasm, as most are, the prostate is very much neutral.

― MANTASTIC! (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 06:54 (twenty years ago)

than you enjoyed giving or receiving kenan?

I'm not sure I understand the question, but... both, most certainly, in different capacities and in different situations.

You can't talk about any of these things, not even plain ol' regular fucking, as if they're sexual absolutles. Some things work for some people sometimes, some don't. Some things work for some people all of the time, but not thier partners. Some things only work for some people when they're watching a Discovery Channel special about penguins. We all have a few surprises ahead of us when we date someone new.

― MANTASTIC! (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 06:58 (twenty years ago)

i meant, did she enjoy it more than you giving it or receiving.... since isn't the prostate comment mainly relevant for the receiving party? i'm afraid i'm woefully underversed in men's anatomy so i might have misunderstood. I rather thought receiving it was more enjoyable for blokes, because the very act of receiving it massages the prostate in some nice way....

― gem (trisk), Saturday, 30 April 2005 07:02 (twenty years ago)

also crikey i hope my next shag doesn't get his rocks off to penguins, they really don't do it for me...

― gem (trisk), Saturday, 30 April 2005 07:03 (twenty years ago)

xpost

No, not necessarily. Prostates are good to have, but massaging the prostate mostly results in a more copious ejacultion, not a more satisfying orgasm. Which can = fun, but not necesarily better sex.

And what is a satisfying orgasm, anyway? One in which you come a whole whole bunch? One in which you come for a long time? One in which you come while, in some way, feeling very close to the person facilitating your orgasm?

I opt for the latter. Kinda nebulous, but there you are.

― MANTASTIC! (kenan), Saturday, 30 April 2005 07:10 (twenty years ago)

Hey, where IS Martin Mushrush anyhow?

― The Irrelevant Man (Negativa) (Barima), Saturday, 30 April 2005 10:45 (twenty years ago)

http://www.puckerup.com/female_pleasure/women's_anal_pleasure_2/

Dear Anal Advisor:

I am in a relationship with woman, and we both want to try anal sex. But I have one concern. I know that it's going to feel really good for me, because I am a guy, but what will it feel like for her? Do women get off on anal penetration, and if they do, then how exactly? Can my girlfriend come from it?

What's In It For Her

Dear What's In It For Her:

Rest assured that there is plenty in it for her. First, let's talk about the physical aspects of anal sex. Anorectal anatomy is nearly identical in men and women, and the entire area—the anus, anal canal, and rectum—is extremely rich in nerve endings and sensitive to stimulation of all kinds, including penetration. Because of this level of sensitivity, exploring our asses can bring us incredible sexual pleasure. The one distinction in men and women's anal anatomy is that men have a prostate gland, which can be reached and stimulated through the rectum. Although women don't have a prostate, they do have a G-spot. The G-spot is reached through the front wall of the vagina, but it can also be indirectly stimulated through anal penetration. Since all that separates the rectum and the vagina is a thin membrane, if you angle a finger, toy, or penis toward the front wall of the vagina, women still may experience G-spot stimulation. Many women find that the G-spot stimulation they get from anal sex is one way they can have an orgasm. Another way for her to orgasm is to add clitoral stimulation as you penetrate her. Give her clit some rubbing action or let her jerk herself off with her hand or a vibrator while you do her in the ass, and see what happens. In addition to the bundle of physical pleasure that anal stimulation brings, there are complex emotional and psychological issues that contribute to the erotic experience. For some people, the idea that anal sex is naughty, forbidden and taboo is very exciting, and adds to their enjoyment of it. For others, the great amount of trust one must have in a partner heightens the physical pleasure; allowing your partner to penetrate you in this special place says, "Here is a delicate part of my body, and I trust you not to hurt me but to make me feel very good." That power exchange can be very intense for lovers. Anal sex is often represented in popular culture as violent and degrading; however, in reality, it can be extremely intimate, connecting, and even spiritual.

― would prefer to remain anonymous, Saturday, 30 April 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

Look, GOd's plan does not include butt-sex, people. He put all those nerve-endings in our heener-hooners in order to make our pooping process a magnificent exaltation of His name.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 30 April 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/buttsexbeginners

Butt Sex Gets a Bum Rap

We live in a very butt phobic culture. Look at our language: Rude, inconsiderate people are "assholes" and uptight stress cases are "tight asses." While it's true that we carry a phenomenal amount of our stress in our assholes, there's tremendous pleasure to be experienced from the concentration of nerve endings clustered in and around the anus.

So why are back door pleasures so taboo? Many people have a mordant fear of coming into contact with bits of fecal matter, and homophobic attitudes about anal sex create the fallacious notion that only “only gay men do that.” Poor butts, so many nerve endings just aching to be stimulated, and so much stigma to overcome...

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Saturday, 30 April 2005 18:03 (twenty years ago)

Taking a shit is pleasurable.
Childbirth is not.

― Lemonade Salesman (Eleventy-Twelve), Saturday, 30 April 2005 18:11 (twenty years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre100/e138/e13899pvten.jpg

Born out the ass
Like a turd fulla corn

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Saturday, 30 April 2005 18:24 (twenty years ago)

Taking a shit is pleasurable.
Childbirth is not.

I've heard it can be!

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Saturday, 30 April 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/sensual/orgasmic.html

― still liking the anonymity, Saturday, 30 April 2005 21:35 (twenty years ago)

we're also scared of having sex with "cunt", "dickhead", "prick", "fanny" (uk), "nobend"

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 30 April 2005 23:14 (twenty years ago)

"tight asses."

you'd think this would be a compliment in london

― katharine (katharine), Sunday, 1 May 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

yeah it means you fit in

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 1 May 2005 19:39 (twenty years ago)

four years pass...

we're also scared of having sex with "cunt", "dickhead", "prick", "fanny" (uk), "nobend"

Were they the original members of Oasis?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 00:34 (sixteen years ago)

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