I Like Daunte Culpepper...

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...so this makes me unhappy for him.

Fuck the Vikings as an organization, though. Fuck them in the eye.

― Dan (Excruciating Back Pain) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 31 October 2005 23:10 (nineteen years ago)

I don't see how the Vikings season could possibly get worse, yet it does.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 31 October 2005 23:25 (nineteen years ago)

I am kind of expecting to read a report about the defensive line being carried away by a swarm of mutant bees.

― Dan (Mutant Bees With Shotguns) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 31 October 2005 23:29 (nineteen years ago)

first chad pennington, now daunte -- plus donovan hasn't been in tip-top shape.

quarterbacks be droppin' like flies this season!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 31 October 2005 23:31 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.8848.ru/i/film/small/396.jpg

― Dan (The Vikings' Season In 1000 Words) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 31 October 2005 23:33 (nineteen years ago)

This year has been beyond excruciating...soooo glad I sold 4 of my 8 season tix this year

Man..this knee injury sounds horrible...ug....

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 31 October 2005 23:54 (nineteen years ago)

It LOOKED horrible, the bottom half of his leg went completely sideways! Ugh.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

Dan, you should change your handle to "(Excruciating Knee Pain)" in honor of Daunte's trifecta.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

I think this means his skin is the only thing holding the bottom half of his leg on.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

4-12 will win that division.

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

4-12 will win that division.

haha...yep.

I wonder what we Vikings fans did in our past lives to deserve this team?

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:33 (nineteen years ago)

I don't know but I'm never doing it again, that's sure as fuck.

― Dan (Excruciating 2005 Season) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:35 (nineteen years ago)

I guess this is a bad time to say HOW BOUT THEM GIANTS, huh?

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:36 (nineteen years ago)

.......

― Dan (Oh Look, A Middle-Finger Bouquet) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

Dan, don't worry too much, I mean the Vikings can win 2 more games and win the division.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:38 (nineteen years ago)

This is all going to somehow be blamed on the Metrodome, isn't it?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:41 (nineteen years ago)

I did that just the other day! Not the Metrodome but domes in general, I blamed it for the Eagles suddenly deciding not to mount a comeback against Denver on Sunday, and annouced that DOMES ARE THE END OF FOOTBALL. They should be destroyed. If those rugged, savage bastards in Green Bay and Buffalo can brave the outdoors, so can Vikings!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

I mean the Eagles were playing badly, then playing really really well, then it started to rain and they pissed themselves. I mean they're like the only team in the NFL who hasn't figured out how to confused Jake Plummer, and I blame a dome. Plus their ugly uniforms. Also Philadelphia in general. And Eagles aren't a good mascot. There's a lot wrong, there.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

"how to confused"

right, I need to stop eating Smarties.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:44 (nineteen years ago)

Hahahahahahahahaha yes, because it's really doing Green Bay shitloads of good to play outside.

― Dan (Green Bay Tea Party Society) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:44 (nineteen years ago)

Dan, you realize the misfortunes of the Vikes of late are a result of all the misbegotten ill will you wish upon the Red Sox, right?

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:45 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah well Brett Favre can create brass knuckles with his SB rings though.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:45 (nineteen years ago)

Also, never discount the advantage of the FROZEN TUNDRA of LAMBEAU FIELD when the Packers actually FIELD A GOOD TEAM.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

Apropos of nothing, did anyone else see that ad for Pro Bowl voting, where you can win a trip to Hawaii? And it was just a bunch of shots of John Elway being really depressed and lonely??? WTF was that about? I laughed my ASS off at that. Also: all of the Fed Ex ads with football players running in and giving inspiring speeches to guys trying to figure out how to ship a package.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

Dan, you realize the misfortunes of the Vikes of late are a result of all the misbegotten ill will you wish upon the Red Sox, right?

SHUT UP, YOU

Also, never discount the advantage of the FROZEN TUNDRA of LAMBEAU FIELD when the Packers actually FIELD A GOOD TEAM.

Granted, but guess what's not going to happen this year?

― Dan (Packers Are Teh Suck) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

domes in general, I blamed it for the Eagles suddenly deciding not to mount a comeback against Denver on Sunday

Bring back teh VET TURF!

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:48 (nineteen years ago)

You're awfully smug about Green Bay sucking for a Vikings fan.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:48 (nineteen years ago)

I hope Elway is depressed and lonely

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:49 (nineteen years ago)

You're awfully smug about Green Bay sucking for a Vikings fan.

This is what Vikings fans do!

― Dan (Excruciating Back Pain) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

Whither the football love?

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

Can we just go back to the Eagles for a minute? Cos I really dislike the Eagles. I just wanted to say that. Other teams I dislike include:

Baltimore
Miami
Dallas
Jacksonville (Has anyone else noticed they don't have Jaguars on their helmet? This really bothers me)
New England
New York Jets
Houston (What kind of name is Houston Texans???)
Tennessee
Denver
Kansas City
San Diego
Washington
Atlanta
Tampa Bay
Arizona (are they still owned by Bidwell? If not, I forgive them)

I'm ok with the rest of them. You'll note this includes the entire NFC North.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:54 (nineteen years ago)

I'm really still nto sure about the Bengals, either, but I'll let it pass.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:55 (nineteen years ago)

Um, Ally:

http://www.sportsfanshq.com/products/full/6833.gif

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

That looks more like a leopard, to me.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

Also the teal is hideous. I mean not Tampa Bay old skool hideous but still pretty ugly.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

Houston (What kind of name is Houston Texans???)

It's a Texan kind of name. I'm somewhat surprised that they didn't just name the team the Texas Texans.

My favorite [easy] trivia question is "Who are the only NFL teams that have helmets on their helmets?"

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:57 (nineteen years ago)

Google Image Search sez that leopard-looking thing is indeed a jaguar, and I'm not one to doubt Google Image Search.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:57 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.tigers-animal-actors.com/about/jaguar/jagswim.jpg

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:59 (nineteen years ago)

Dolphins shouldn't wear helmets, ever. I don't like that graphic at all. I really have a lot of fashion objections to the NFL.

xpost, it looks more like a leopard to me. They are similar but not the same. I am v. picky, about a cat. I would like it better if their helmets featured the cars.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

Tampa's old unis are much better than the new ones. There is no debate about that.

Also, the Bengals have some sort of super hero costume as uniforms.

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:02 (nineteen years ago)

My cousin's husband played for Jacksonville! DON'T HATE.

― Dan (Also I Like Pittsburgh And The Giants But The Jets Can Eat An Entire Bag Of, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:02 (nineteen years ago)

Ric Ocasek on a helmet I can get behind tho.

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.tsn.ca/images/stories/20050901/bears_84855.jpg

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.chicagobears.com/uploads/photos/perm/main/KKNPHAIFJGJA/TJones_inside091304.jpg

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

That's way too good for the Jets, Dan.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.usatoday.com/sports/nfl/_photos/2003-08-07-inside-urlacher.jpg

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:04 (nineteen years ago)

You know whose logo I really hate? Tennessee's. WTF is that thing? I mean, I know what it is, it's a giant, flaming T shooting out from outerspace but wtf does that mean?

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:04 (nineteen years ago)

http://media.scout.com/Media/Image/26/267203.jpg

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

FLAMING THUMBTACK

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.christmasteddy.com/images/96nflbuccaneers.JPG

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA why did they stop wearing this scheme?

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:06 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.covers.com/images/2005/180x180/smith_lovie050724.jpg

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:07 (nineteen years ago)

seriously, gear, what up.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:08 (nineteen years ago)

YOUR NFC NORtH CMAPEEN CHICAGO BEARS

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:08 (nineteen years ago)

The Bears = The SUCK

― Dan (Feh On Your NFC Central Teams With Superbowl Championships) Perry (Dan Perr, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

Guys let's all just agree that my team is a lot better than any of your teams, right now.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

Let's all just agree that football in 2005 didn't actually happen.

― Dan (Bobby Ewing In The Shower Time) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:10 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.sportal.com.au/photos/news/070882news.jpg
http://graphics.jsonline.com/graphics/packer/img/insider/oct04/bark1009.jpg
http://www.detroitlions.com/photos/Jett_112200.JPG

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:13 (nineteen years ago)

dan OTM

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:14 (nineteen years ago)

NY Giants, with hoes:

http://www.newyorksocialdiary.com/partypictures/2004/04_12_04/images/autoshow/Fe-Fendi-Tiki-Barber.jpg
http://img134.exs.cx/img134/6853/elimanning7be.jpg
http://starbodies.com/images/friends/7.jpg
http://www.emmyonline.org/emmy_images/24thsports/michael.strahan.jason.sehorn.jpg

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:15 (nineteen years ago)

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO JASON SEHORN?????????????

― Dan (Handsome Picture In The Attic) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:17 (nineteen years ago)

He sucked, that's what.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:18 (nineteen years ago)

Raposa OTM.

I think Eli Manning should make that photo his official NFL headshot.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:19 (nineteen years ago)

Eli must've been @ this party:

http://www.cadenhead.org/workbench/gems/steve-nash-dirk-nowitzki-drunk-drunk-drunk.jpg

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:20 (nineteen years ago)

bro-down

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

Fuck fucking Angie Harmon if that's what happens to you!

― Dan (From Adonis To Opie In Five Easy Years) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

Dan I don't remember him ever looking any different from that. Are you sure you are not perhaps thinking of, say, George Clooney?

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:34 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.mostbeautifulman.com/athletes/jasonsehorn/images/pic07.jpg

http://www.emmyonline.org/emmy_images/24thsports/michael.strahan.jason.sehorn.jpg

― Dan (Her Kryptonite Vagina Is Leeching His Chi) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/MMPH-E/168145.jpg

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:39 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.mostbeautifulman.com/athletes/jasonsehorn/images/pic07.jpg

― Dan (Stupid .htaccess Files) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:39 (nineteen years ago)

UGH DAN NO

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:44 (nineteen years ago)

JASON SEAPONY IS DISGUSTING. HE ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE. UGH. PLEASE.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

was eli smoking crack in that picture?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.deadspin.com/sports/terrellowensasgreenlantern.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

He kinda looks like this guy Brian I used to hang out with, in that picture.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

Err xpost I meant Eli, not Green Skull.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

"Terrell Owens as drawn by Rob Liefeld"

― Dan (Angie Is Channelling Her Evil Into Him) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

Dan, Angie didn't make Sehorn suck. Sehorn's suck was in him from the get-go.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:08 (nineteen years ago)

She did turn him into a Fievel-esque motherfucker, though. Sehron has gone from being ripped to Jack "Gaunty McSunkenEyes" Skellington.

― Dan (Punished By Punani) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:10 (nineteen years ago)

Welcome to old age, Dan! Enjoy the gout!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:14 (nineteen years ago)

Look what happened to Kent Hrbek!

http://www.yard-work.org/pix/lasorda_oops.jpg

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:14 (nineteen years ago)

OK what you both are failing to consider is that Jason Sehorn was ugly to begin with.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:16 (nineteen years ago)

I want to see Eli Manning get the shit knocked out of him, just once. Preferably in the playoffs. Maybe then the NFL press hounds will stop licking Manning brother scrotum until one of them WINS SOMETHING.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, HE'S 7-0 AGAINST A BUNCH OF SHITE TEAMS ... THEY MUST BE THE BEST TEAM IN THE NFL!!!!!

Did nobody learn anything from last year???

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:17 (nineteen years ago)

Derek Jeter in 2025:

http://img14.imgspot.com/u/05/88/16/Phantasm2TallMan10.jpg

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:18 (nineteen years ago)

I want to see Eli Manning get the shit knocked out of him, just once.

Maybe wait until he's played a full season's worth of games?

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:21 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah that whole post was a little confusing to me.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:31 (nineteen years ago)

Also in whose universe has Indy only played "a bunch of shite teams"?

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:33 (nineteen years ago)

"Terrell Owens as drawn by Rob Liefeld"

pffft!!! Coffee 1, Keyboard 0.

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:33 (nineteen years ago)

In what universe are Tennessee, Houston, San Francisco, and Cleveland not shite teams?

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:43 (nineteen years ago)

In what universe does 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 7?

― Dan (At Least I Can Add) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:44 (nineteen years ago)

Also, I'm getting bored of the NFL's uber-parity, where every crap team starts 5-2 the next year and people start tripping over superlatives like they're going out of style. That's why I want to see Eli taken down a notch.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:46 (nineteen years ago)

Fine, Dan: four shite teams plus three others whose combined record right now is under .500. The Colts have had just about the easiest route to 7-0 that you'll ever see.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:48 (nineteen years ago)

if there were an NFL board, would you ~~pedantic monday morning QBs~~ fellow fans contribute?

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

I would, especially about my ~~D&D for jocks~~ fantasy football follies.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 23:24 (nineteen years ago)

That's why I want to see Eli taken down a notch.

Watch him play on the road.

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 23:58 (nineteen years ago)

like he did against San Diego?

wow, that picture is pretty incredible.

gear, the Bears blow. They are not good just because they happened to beat my crappy Lions twice. everyone in this division blows.

― The Ghost of Poppy Hidalgo (diamond), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 00:31 (nineteen years ago)

good teams are supposed to beat crappy teams! just watch them smoke Carolina in three weeks, buddy. so it has been written, and so it shall be accomplished.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 00:32 (nineteen years ago)

if there were an NFL board, would you ~~pedantic monday morning QBs~~ fellow fans contribute?

Reppin' Buffalo

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 00:40 (nineteen years ago)

support teh movement:

NFL Board

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 00:52 (nineteen years ago)

four shite teams plus three others whose combined record right now is under .500.

Aren't you the person who is bitching right now about how record is not the ultimate determinant of how good a team is?

I'm really not sure why you need to see Eli get "taken down a notch;" the best thing that analysts say about him is that he has progressed much faster than thought and has the potential to be better than Peyton (which is most likely true; he seems more comfortable than Peyton was at the same point). I mean jesus christ get one sense of perspective and maybe apply some of this hype-over-nothing rage to, like, Parcells and the Cowboys.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 01:35 (nineteen years ago)

Dan Marino never "won" anything, sure as hell didn't make him a bad quarterback. I got no love for Peyton Manning really (other than he's fucking funny in commercials), but sitting there acting like he ain't got shit because he ain't gotten to teh big show is kind of disingenuous, at best.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 01:37 (nineteen years ago)

Let's go insurance adjusters, let's go!

aaaaaand .. it's full!!

Cut that meat! Cut that meat!

OMG best commercial ever.

hey Ally, you know Philly doesn't play in a dome, right?

― The Ghost of Poppy Hidalgo (diamond), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 01:50 (nineteen years ago)

Eli is a doll and learning. Quit jumpin' on the hate wagon; this is his second season and th' boy is blossoming.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 01:52 (nineteen years ago)

??????? My dad was lying to me all these years?????? Did they USED to play in one? There goes my argument about why Philly sucks.

Dude the part where he's like, "Will you sign this bread for my brother? He LOVES you!" cracks me up hardcore. NFL players are in the best commercials: the one where the offensive line dude from NE is like, "Why can't i be the director?" (while Tom Brady kind of sits there eating chips and being annoyed, how much did he get paid for that?), Montana and Culpepper's Fed Ex ads, the Peyton Manning series of ridiculous cheering scenarios, etc etc. I swear I have found ways to insert "CUT THAT MEAT!" into as many conversations as possible.

XPOST Forksclovetofu on the money. Also the ad where all the Giants are wearing Saints jerseys is sweet!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 01:53 (nineteen years ago)

I'm deadly serious, my dad, who is from Philly (and hates the Eagles!!!) insisted they played in a dome. My dad also insisted Dan Marino never played in a Super Bowl and that the entire time the Raiders were in LA they were the Oakland Raiders so his authority is not to really be trusted but since he's BEEN to games in Philly I figured he'd actually be an authority on at least that point.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 01:55 (nineteen years ago)

Baseball != football

Most of Indy's 2005 opponents are terrible teams. Everybody expected them to be terrible, and they are. And if you want to break it down further (as per your comment), their opponents have been terrible based on their points scored/allowed.

I never said that Peyton has nothing, I said that Indy are getting way too much credit for their 7-0 record considering they haven't beaten anything ressembling a good team. Hence my complaints about the NFL -- parity and scheduling makes it too easy for mediocre teams to compile impressive records early in the season, and for good teams to compile great records. When that happens, the hyperbole machine starts churning away. Lots of people are saying are saying that Indy is the best team in the NFL right now ... based on what? Look at their creampuff schedule. Let them beat the Pats next week -- a team that has outplayed them in every aspect of the game almost every time they've met (no luck involved there) -- and Pittsburgh in a few weeks and then I'll start believing it.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:01 (nineteen years ago)

Honestly I don't think Indy HAS been getting that much credit...I was just saying this this weekend--Indy has kind of quietly gone 7-0 with all the fuss about any number of other drama stories in the NFL. BECAUSE their schedule hasn't been impressive, nothing anyone would've picked up for a national game or something like that. That being said I mean I don't think a lot of the teams they played are necessarily as bad as their record shows. I mean, I'm stuck watching B'more games every week. They aren't as shit as that record shows. God I wish they were cos, hell, I hate that fucking purple they wear.

I really don't have doubts the Colts can beat the Pats, though. I mean, I didn't watch the whole game the other night but I don't think they looked that impressive. Good but seem to be on the downswing...Pittsburgh is another story. Pittsburgh is also the FATTEST TEAM IN THE NFL. Throwing that in as an aside, I was like wholly shocked last night when they threw out how big Rothlisberger is...I knew he was a big dude but 250???

I'm not saying Indy is best team in NFL by any stretch (for s tarters I haven't actually SEEN any of their games so I can't judge how they're playing other than on pure stats, which isn't something I like to do because I don't think stats account for everything). I am on record somewhere on this board as having stated that, if the Manning brothers aren't playing each other in a Super Bowl in a few years, it'll be Eli that's there before Peyton. I don't think Peyton has as much raw talent and smarts, and I don't think Indy has put a team around him that can fully...I dunno the word for it. The Marino comparison though was something I threw out there for a reason, Indy is doing a Miami IMO.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:09 (nineteen years ago)

I think the Philly thing is that the Vet was renowned for having the hardest turf in the NFL .. teams feared playing on that cement floor. So it was kind of dome-like.

the totally funny NFL commercials were those ones for Direct TV where the kid would randomly show-up in all these scenes .. slapping Peyton Manning on the butt, catching a ball thrown by Marty Schottenheimer, offering nachos to Shannon Sharpe, etc.. cracked my shit up.

― The Ghost of Poppy Hidalgo (diamond), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:15 (nineteen years ago)

Remember the one where dude's mom forced all the players to eat Chunky Soup??? Also the one with Clinton Portis and his 8 trillion Hungry Man meals is kind of funny, if just for thinking about what the hell kind of bathroom breaks dude must need after eating those nasty things. The way he's walking in the supermarket is pretty funny too.

Maybe the dome thing with Philly was also the amount of noise in the stadium? The sound of 50,000 people booing all at once can be very dome-like.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:17 (nineteen years ago)

My best friend's husband is in that Peyton Manning mastercard commercial; he's the waiter who tosses Peyton the apron as he leaves the restaurant. He told me that Peyton was great, funny and improving; there's a cut line apparently when dude tosses him the apron and Peyton said "Sweet! Danny, I swear, you're always gonna be my favorite waiter, no matter what!"

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:18 (nineteen years ago)

hahahaha that's adorable.

Tom went to college with Peyton Manning. He hates him on principle that Peyton was popular and good looking and in a frat and athletic and etc. but says he was a cool dude anyway. I cannot dislike him at all, he seems like too nice a guy, like you can walk up to him and fuck with him and he'd think it was funny and play along about how much he sucks.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:21 (nineteen years ago)

god Shockey has one of those Hungry Man ones, too ... I was like "what godawful looking crap"...

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:24 (nineteen years ago)

WTF IS THAT TATTOO SHOCKEY HAS??? It KILLS me every time I see his arm!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:26 (nineteen years ago)

it's true how nice Peyton always is in the post-game interviews and so forth, and it really doesn't seem phony. that's why it was so great when he busted out the "our drunken kicker" line re Vangerjagt.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:27 (nineteen years ago)

It's like he went to the tattoo shop with his "Never Forget 9/11" desktop wallpaper and had it permanently affixed to his bicep.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:28 (nineteen years ago)

The massive american flag one? Yeah, it's uh... a tetch over the top.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:28 (nineteen years ago)

"I didn't want something [that] 20 years later I'd be, Why did I get this?" says Shockey, who got the inking -- his first -- in the summer. "It speaks for itself. I'm proud to live in this country, to have the right to express anything you want.... I'm very American." The tattoo took 21 hours over three days, including a stretch of 16 straight hours. Says Shockey, "Six hours in I was, like, 'Just keep going.' Definitely painful."

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:31 (nineteen years ago)

"I'm very American"

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:31 (nineteen years ago)

My favorite Shockey quote was definitely this little gem from Maxim:

What’s your biggest sexual fantasy?
"A threesome with a mother and her two twins—that’d be the best!"

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:33 (nineteen years ago)

The top half of the tattoo is George Bush murdering some A-rabs.

Seriously every time I see it I half piss myself laughing. I mean what the hell does a decent looking dude wanna do putting s ome kind of ridiculous crap on his arm for everyone to see. So embarassing.

xpost OH MY GOD THAT IS DISGUSTING ESPECIALLY SINCE MY MOM HAS DAUGHTERS WHO ARE TWINS CREEEEEEEEPY.

Shockey needs to take some lessons from Manning, or Tiki Barber.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:34 (nineteen years ago)

What gets me is not just the especially dubious math (a threesome with a mother and her two twins? That's either four people or six, but not three); it's the fact that this guy's biggest sexual fantasy involves some really complex incest.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:35 (nineteen years ago)

I'm deadly serious, my dad, who is from Philly (and hates the Eagles!!!) insisted they played in a dome.

!!!! if the vet was domed, i sure couldn't tell the day i went to see 'em when i was a kid -- it was like -10 degrees below zero windchill!

(and yer dad is from south philly, right? i mean, he may have grown up not far from the vet!)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:39 (nineteen years ago)

actually, it's possible that the eagles still played at either connie mack stadium or franklin field when yer dad still lived in philly -- though neither of those stadiums were domed either!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:41 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, no, I'm kind of amazed by this news, as much as anyone else here could be. I mean seriously, I figured he would at least know that. I am not really sure what the hell he was talking about! I'm trying to think of a stadium he's been to that was domed now and I can't! He lived in Buffalo for a year--def. not domed. Giants stadium--not domed. The Cardinals stadium--not domed. No clue. I'm not gonna call him on it cos he's gonna say that he never said it! Same way he says about everything I call him on! Infuriating man. He thinks being a minor league baseball player makes him the authority on football, well the news is NOT.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:44 (nineteen years ago)

i like the bengals stormtrooper

colts can beat the niners and browns and titans and texans all they want, they ain't doing shit next january. i'd pick 3 afc teams over them in the playoffs, 4 if the chargers had a different coach. fuck em. right now my guess is pats or bengals, i'd rather play the pats bottom half of the schedule over the colts (esp if i was as banged up as the pats). not buying into the fucking BRONCOS. i predict neither the colts nor the BRONCOS will even play in the afc championship.

falcons falcons falcons

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:51 (nineteen years ago)

No one is buying into the fucking Broncos dude, I ain't giving you an award for that prediction. They have the most easily confused qb in the NFL and barely win games. I mean shit the Giants shouldn't have done that crap they did to them. Seriously, that's not a prediction, that's reality jb.

I still think the Colts can do the Pats.

The Stormtrooper is a fucking genius though. I love that man.

I'm gonna gonna be the douchebag on the Christmas Eve Skins/Giants game btw hanging over the first row screaming 'ELI ELI ELI U SO CUTE' so watch for me folks!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:55 (nineteen years ago)

Jake Plummer is like the weirdest QB in the NFL making top dolla. I mean, he plays first halves great and then the second a team starts doing shit, he gets confused what team he's on and starts hurling shit to anyone on the field. Also--what the FUCK is up with Denver's facial hair/head hair situation? I mean they all look like ddb. Or my dad in '73.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 02:57 (nineteen years ago)

teh Broncs are the fuckin worst. They are so boring right now, they really are. Way to let McNabb chuck three straight TD passes in the 2nd half you losers (ok, yeah, maybe i'm bitter because it meant I lost in fantasy to freakin Forkslove).

I'm totally on the Bengals bandwagon.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 03:07 (nineteen years ago)

Football talking heads have no memory or really don't follow teams. A few years ago, the Colts and Manning couldn't beat Miami, then they couldn't beat Tennessee and now it is NE. The Colts over came both the Dolphins and Titans, now it may be time for NE and we will find out next Monday. Even if the Colts pound NE, the same talking heads that are saying this is a "MUST WIN" will then say it doesn't matter until the playoffs.

The Colts cannot pick their schedule, they have beaten who they had to play. They have NE, Pitts, and Cinci in the next month, so it all averages out.

The credit that no one really gives Manning is that they are heading towards their sixth playoff, 10 or more game winning season in eight. Before Peyton came to the Colts, their last 10 game winning season was 1977. Bill Polian deserves a bunch of the credit for turning the club around, but I think Manning should get some acknowledgement. Crap...how much of a powerhouse was Tennessee football before he played there? OK, Peyton hasn't won the big game, but there was NO big games before he came around either.

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 03:46 (nineteen years ago)

one thing about the NFL always hold true, season after season: no team coached by marty schottenheimer will EVER make it to the super bowl.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 03:55 (nineteen years ago)

um, tennessee was a national power and perennial sec contender way before peyton was born, nevermind played there.

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 03:58 (nineteen years ago)

I don't know dude .. I could easily see that changing this year too. They haven't been perfect but god they have so much talent. Gates is out of his freakin mind and LT is the best player in football. The AFC is really a blast .. SO many good teams. My how the worm turns.

I like ATL in the NFC and like no one else.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 03:59 (nineteen years ago)

Baseball != football

worst cop-out ever.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 04:08 (nineteen years ago)

No one goes 7-0 in the NFL without some talent on both sides of the ball. And uh, the Jags are a pretty good team last time I checked. Good enough to go into Three Rivers, er, Heinz, and win.

If the Pats look like they did on Sunday, Edge and Reg run wild, and Brady might as well get out the good china for Dwight Freeney, who will be in his lap all day. They're still the champs etc etc, but the horsies might not be tested until their dates with Cincy the Sunday and Pittsburgh the Monday after.

Even if they LOSE both of those, they're well set for a first-round bye. And they're running the ball quite nicely.

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 04:50 (nineteen years ago)

The seasonal Southwest "must be football season" campaign is grebt; the fedex spots with Daunte Culpepper and Joe Montana are abysmal...

...and the best NFL-related TV spot EVER has yet to be mentioned here and did not feature or name a single NFL player or team.

http://www.perspectives.com/forums/attachment.php?id=6058

Great googly moogly.

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah well Brett Favre can create brass knuckles with his SB rings though.

-- Allyzay knows a little German (allyza...), November 1st, 2005.

ALL ONE OF THEM?

― Jimmy Mod Is The Damnation (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 04:58 (nineteen years ago)

God, that whole late-90s Snickers campaign was classic.

"Would you like that? Would you like to ride with Batman?"

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 05:10 (nineteen years ago)

i think ally should be the NFL board moderator (if the pwners that be ever get going on it!)

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 09:17 (nineteen years ago)

ALL ONE OF THEM?

Jimmy, have you ever been hit by an SB ring??????? Shit hurts.

Football announcers are almost all awesome, I dunno why you guys gotta give 'em any hate. I'm pretty pleased that Troy Aikman went that route, he's so pleasant and never says anything that's truly objectionable, usually has smart things to say.

Though still no talking heads beat those ESPN dudes. Best episode ever was when someone, I THINK Tom Jackson but coulda been Boomer, used the word "bereft" to describe a team's lack of playing ability and Michael Irvin just screamed out, "Bereft? What? Shut up, STEVE YOUNG!" Which is like the greatest thing anyone's ever said during a sporting show.

I'll gladly mod the board if you do not want to!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

oh I fucked up something in that post

Also the reason that quote is so great is cos Steve Young was sitting right there, I'm not sure if I should assume everyone watches ESPN's 8 hour lead up to football on Sunday and would know that Steve Young is there.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:14 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not sure if I should assume everyone watches ESPN's 8 hour lead up to football on Sunday and would know that Steve Young is there.

http://www.ruggedelegantliving.com/sf/a/images/Steve.Young.jpg

http://www.cinerhama.com/britalent/lawford1.jpg

http://www.moviestarsmovies.com/Images/BudAbbott.jpg

http://members.aol.com/kirstyneale/zeppophoto.jpg

― Jimmy Mod Is The Damnation (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

"Jimmy, have you ever been hit by an SB ring??????? Shit hurts."

That is probably why Putin palmed ole' boy Krafts ring a few months back.

What is scary about ESPN's NFL Countdown is that I am beginning to think (shudder) that Michael Irvin sometimes makes the most sense of that bunch outside of Jaworski, who is the best of breaking down game film of any of the TV analysts. For all of his education and vocabulary, Steve Young is a bit of an airhead. Young on Sunday kept going on that Washington wasn't ready yet to win 16-13 each week like all of Gibbs other great teams. Criminy...doesn't Young remember what Gibbs' teams were like, they ran the score up a couple of times against the 49ers when he was playing.

― earlnash, Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:35 (nineteen years ago)

I...don't understand...what this means.

xpost Michael Irvin is pretty great though, even if he wears fat comedian suits. I'd totally watch a show that is hosted by the announcer ex-Cowboys (I'm including Deion even though he's done lost his mind and rejoined the game). They're all such assholes, but in the most positive way you could mean that word possible. I mean seriously, ok, why hasn't someone tried to put this together: Jimmy Johnson, Aikman, Irvin, Sanders. Does Smith still announce? I know he did for a period, he can come too cos he was charming. I would never wanna hear another word out of Madden's mouth if I could sit through that every Monday, and I love Madden and the way he'll just blurt out "This team is just crap, I have no respect for this organization" during the middle of a game.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:39 (nineteen years ago)

former cowboy moose johnston is also very good in the booth

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago)

This is what I mean, about them being assholes but in the best possible sense of the word:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NFL#Rules_named_after_players

# the Deion Sanders rule -- no excessive end zone celebrations.
# the Emmitt Smith Rule -- no taking your helmet off on the field of play. Enacted in 1997.
# the Michael Irvin rule -- no taunting. Another rule, resulting in offensive pass interference, prohibiting WR's to push off CB's, is also often called "the Michael Irvin rule."

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

That is the answer to why Steve Young is in the booth.

― Jimmy Mod Is The Damnation (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

I still don't quite get it.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

Steve Young is the straight man?

― Dan (AKA The Boring One) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 16:27 (nineteen years ago)

where is the "don't get caught in a hotel room with a woman who isn't your wife who also happens to have a crack rock the size of a softball" rule?

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 16:28 (nineteen years ago)

Well I don't think he's particularly boring, he does like to use big words though when it's not necessary.

At any rate I dont' care if Steve Young is the most boring man on earth he's still better than Jillian Barbieri.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.photofile.com/Photos/Albums/Standees/Images/roethlisberger.jpg
Bigger than Big!
Taller than Tall!
Quicker than Quick!
Stronger than Strong!
Ready to fight for Right, against Wrong!
ROTH-LISSS-BERTOR

Thank you cartoon network + fox sports net + Ally

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 2 November 2005 16:37 (nineteen years ago)

Hahahahahahahaha awesome, we should come up with cartoon theme songs for all of the players.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

My sister-in-law's partner went to college with Roethlisberger. She also said he was ginormous.

― Dan (Freak Of Nature) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 16:45 (nineteen years ago)

ALL OF THE STEELERS ARE. ALL OF THEM. IT'S TERRIFYING.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 16:46 (nineteen years ago)

Does anyone remember the name of the linesman they had in the 90s who looked like he was Paul Bunyan's son? I stood next to this guy once and I swear he was twice my height.

(FYI: Are you in favor of creating an "I Love The NFL" board?)

― Dan (The World Is Their Lillyput) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

ALL OF THE STEELERS ARE. ALL OF THEM. IT'S TERRIFYING

Haha - not exactly. There was a sideline shot during the Monday Night game of Roethlisberger chatting with Randle El (listed at 5'10"). Big Ben, er, towered.

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah! I noticed that too, I was like man poor dude must feel like a midget next to these guys, he should join a tiny skinny team like the Giants instead.

Roethlisberger just kind of freaks me out, I mean he's way too big. I mean it's a totally arbitrary rule I have about this but he's just too big.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 17:16 (nineteen years ago)

tiny skinny team like the Giants instead."

Appearantly you have not seen the "HEFTY LEFTY" Jared Lorenzen in action. Lorenzen is a backup QB for the Giants and if he ever gets into a game and leads them to some amazing comeback victory, he will be a folk hero over night. That guy is listed at 275, but I think that is a low number and he plays QB. Unlike Big Ben, Lorenzen is really pudgy and looks more like a lineman or muffler repair guy than a QB, but the guy has a cannon of an arm.

― earlnash, Wednesday, 2 November 2005 17:40 (nineteen years ago)

275!!!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

That guy was a moose at Kentucky. Who even knew that UK had a football team?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

ally i would mod the board but i think you : NFL :: Raggett : MBV

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

that was a compliment, just to clarify

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 17:48 (nineteen years ago)

275???????????????????????????????? WAY TO GO FATTEY QB! YOU CAN DO IT!

gear I'm not sure if that is complimentary or not! hahahaha xpost

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 17:49 (nineteen years ago)

roffle

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 17:51 (nineteen years ago)

Who even knew that UK had a football team?

louisville fans remember once a season, when we beat them.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

I would never wanna hear another word out of Madden's mouth if I could sit through that every Monday, and I love Madden

-- Allyzay knows a little German (allyza...), November 2nd, 2005 9:39 AM.

hell yeah, Madden still rules. Madden-hating is the worst. I hate all Madden haters.

That was great on Monday when Michaels started blabbering about the "confluence" of the three rivers, and Madden just goes "the thing that's great about coming to Pittsburgh is that it's the only time you'll ever get to use the word 'confluence'". and then he busted out the telestrator and starting mapping out the confluence and basically just tried to insert the word confluence into everything. he is truly the best.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 19:13 (nineteen years ago)

Hahahaha yeah I remember that. That was pretty freaking awesome. I can not figure out why MNF ever went with Dennis Miller for a period.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

THE ANGULAR ONE
http://www.sportsattic.com/nflphoto/photos3/Carmichael,Harold3.jpg

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 19:18 (nineteen years ago)

WAY TO GO FATTEY QB! YOU CAN DO IT!

I've kind of been incapacitated with laughter for the past 20 minutes because of this.

― Dan (HAHAHAHAHAHA) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 19:20 (nineteen years ago)

This is his NFL mugshot! This is truly tremendous!

http://images.nfl.com/images/players/60x80/494145.jpg
WAY TO GO DAEREST FATTEY!

Other great NFL mugshots:
http://images.nfl.com/images/players/60x80/1003.jpg
WAY TO GO DAEREST HIPPY!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 19:28 (nineteen years ago)

Who even knew that UK had a football team?

Tim Couch?

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 19:56 (nineteen years ago)

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