screenwriting cliches (search and destroy)

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destroy: making your characters do your expository grunt work for you, e.g. when a character reveals a key piece of backstory we wouldn't have known otherwise and follows it up by asking the scene partner "remember?"

"my mother died three years ago... REMEMBER?"

every time i hear that, i myself die, inside, a little.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 06:57 (twenty years ago)

… "we can escape the neonazis soon as the fucking file finishes loading onto my flash drive."

― pretentioRemy (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:02 (twenty years ago)

Your only valid beef is with the "remember" part. Characters providing exposition is completely normal.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:02 (twenty years ago)

Sam Mendes.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:03 (twenty years ago)

Characters providing exposition is completely normal.

well DUH, but it's how they do it that matters.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:05 (twenty years ago)

OK... what were you watching when you thought of this?

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:05 (twenty years ago)

If it was David Lynch's "Dune", I'm totally with you.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:06 (twenty years ago)

i'm not watching anything at the moment, but it's something that's bugged me for a while.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:07 (twenty years ago)

what i meant with my first sentence ("grunt work" etc) was that writers think that this very lazy device gets them off the hook from having to do any actual thinking about how to craft a well-wrought script.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:12 (twenty years ago)

Perky blonde women dancing "badly" to show that their quirky sides. See also: Chicken Little.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:14 (twenty years ago)

~~that~~

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:14 (twenty years ago)

oof

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:14 (twenty years ago)

Kevin Klein (or a Kevin Klein-like character) crying at the discovery of how wonderful / lucky / precious life is.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:17 (twenty years ago)

Using an asian dude to immediate communicate "foreign & incomprehensible" bugs me a lot

also, employing high school social mechanics at a college

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:17 (twenty years ago)

the "THAT NIGHT" narrative voiceover on sex and the city.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:17 (twenty years ago)

Fans of screenwriting cliches need to see Equus.

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:18 (twenty years ago)

this doesn't happen so much anymore but i HATE HATE HATE when a scene starts with a character saying "so let me get this straight: [exposition here]" or "so that's the whole story. [exposition here, repeated for no reason]."

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:19 (twenty years ago)

Using an asian dude to immediate communicate "foreign & incomprehensible" bugs me a lot

i have no fucking idea why asians are still picked on in pop culture as much as they are. but that's outside the parameters of the thread, so i'll shut up.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:21 (twenty years ago)

I have a lot of rules involving narration. Narration at the end of a movie is like shitting at the table you were eating at.

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:22 (twenty years ago)

i kind of like it when movies start off with narration, then just sort of forget about it, like in "the third man" or every billy wilder movie.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:23 (twenty years ago)

i want to hear some "search" answers! what are your favorite screenwriting cliches from the world of good badfilm?

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:23 (twenty years ago)

i kind of like it when movies start off with narration, then just sort of forget about it, like in "the third man" or every billy wilder movie.

haha yes! wes anderson to thread.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:24 (twenty years ago)

destroy: characters wandering around aimlessly as a gentle pretty pop tune plays to signify their alienation! thanks a lot, mike nichols!

HAHA x-post!

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:24 (twenty years ago)

search: mental turmoil = downstage turn!

― gem (trisk), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:25 (twenty years ago)

I'm not the biggest Wilder fan, but he was right when he said that narration is a logical device to introduce a story, but totally extraneous when ending one. It's usually the sign of a writer who can't shut up.

one thing I'll give Tarantino is that it never feels like the movie has stopped so we can listen to a pop song. Few other directors pull it off.

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:26 (twenty years ago)

search: Robert Towne having someone tell a long joke whose only point is to make us like the character.

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:27 (twenty years ago)

the only end-of-movie narration i remember really liking was at the end of "band of outsiders." "stay tuned for the tropical adventures of odile and franz!!"

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:29 (twenty years ago)

i have to go to bed now. make me proud, ilx!

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:29 (twenty years ago)

search: ending an ensemble comedy with a free-for-all brawl. not to be mistaken for a car pile-up. I'm talking about faces mugging and punches (and pies) hitting the wrong person, not long shots of wreckage.

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:30 (twenty years ago)

search: when the heroine has a little sister who makes morbid comments all the time ("meet me in st louis," "the philadelphia story")

destroy: cranky old man with a heart of gold

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:34 (twenty years ago)

relating to what remy said, a group of women singing into various household items (usually a hairbrush) as though they were microphones and dancing around and such, to the accompaniment of a '60s pop tune

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:34 (twenty years ago)

oh i guess that's a destroy.

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:35 (twenty years ago)

supposedly there's a Freddie Prinze Jr./Julia Stiles movie that's full of that shit.

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:35 (twenty years ago)

oh dear god.

xpost: fuck, any (fill in position here) with a "heart of gold": DESTROY

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:37 (twenty years ago)

Kevin Klein (or a Kevin Klein-like character) crying at the discovery of how wonderful / lucky / precious life is.

Don't pick on Kevin Klein. This is way more Tom Hanks territory.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:39 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://tecfa.unige.ch/perso/staf/lattion/blog/images/thumb-GrandCanyon.jpg http://www.webwombat.com.au/entertainment/dvds/images/lifeas.jpg

kline is worth picking on

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:42 (twenty years ago)

I like that movie! Steve Martin: "Where's the money shot?!"

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:43 (twenty years ago)

OK, life as a house is a bit much.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:44 (twenty years ago)

Life as a House!
The Emperor's Club!
The Ice Storm! (but I like this one…)
Grand Canyon!

(Also… I think that voice-over narrations take a lot more heat then they deserve. It's like at some point it was decided that they were Bad writing, and so they've become a really soft target.)

― pretentioRemy (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:45 (twenty years ago)

(plus people are really bad at it these days - see Wonder Boys)

destroy: bad divorced dad redeems himself with the help of magic and/or criminal activity.

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:47 (twenty years ago)

voice-over narrations aren't so bad, if used effectively. it does sort of jar when it's used like in seven, where it appears practically out of nowhere.

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:48 (twenty years ago)

xpost

the "THAT NIGHT" narrative voiceover on sex and the city.

I hadn't thought of it, but yeah. "That night, Samantha FINALLY found someone to have really satisfying boob sex with."

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:48 (twenty years ago)

The Ice Storm! (but I like this one…)
Grand Canyon!

I will defend Grand Canyon, but understand that I'm schmaltzy that way.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 18 November 2005 07:50 (twenty years ago)

actually, I like Grand Canyon a little too…

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:03 (twenty years ago)

The Magical Negro without a doubt is the most annoying for me. I turned off "In America" about ten minutes after the offending character was introduced.

Related to that, I guess, would be the super-religious zealot black person, the freaky voodoo black person (who can tell the future/foreshadow), the Forrest Gump retard with wise and insightful things to say at just the right times, and last but not least the noble savage.

― recovering optimist (Royal Bed Bouncer), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:03 (twenty years ago)

I hate the female characters who are married to men with important jobs who get really mad when their husbands are called into work and who, invariably failing to realise that this is the most crucial day of his job ever, throw the kids and the dog and some soft duffle bags of clothes into the car and take off for their mother's.

― estela (estela), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:12 (twenty years ago)

Ooo! I hate that, too. That's one where I would really enjoy seeing a gender swap. The workaholic female attorney working on the biggest case ever, and the stay-at-home dad...

― recovering optimist (Royal Bed Bouncer), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:21 (twenty years ago)

like a star is born?

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:23 (twenty years ago)

Screenwriting cliche #1

First scene: protagonist wakes up and crawls out of bed.

― Good Dog (Good Dog), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:29 (twenty years ago)

Partially-obstructed views that give rise to miscomprehensions of various sub-sit-com situations. See "Sam Mendes" above.

― remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:37 (twenty years ago)

Amnesia. Has anyone is real life actually had amnesia?

― Good Dog (Good Dog), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:42 (twenty years ago)

search: the obligatory "parents are out of town" NEW WAVE PARTY SCENE in '80s teen/quirky romcom movies. oingo boingo and the vapors on the stereo. robotic dancing, stripey clothing, a devo-lookin' guy, a max headroom- looking guy.

not to be confused with the '80s COLLEGE FRAT PARTY SCENE. although "dead man's party" would appear there too.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:48 (twenty years ago)

Amnesia. Has anyone is real life actually had amnesia?

i can't re--- ah, never mind.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:50 (twenty years ago)

"show me which constellations you know"

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:55 (twenty years ago)

^destroy

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 08:55 (twenty years ago)

detective attends funeral but at a polite 30m distance.

― Good Dog (Good Dog), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:15 (twenty years ago)

kind simple salt of earth man married to vain unattractive childless social-climbing harridan

― estela (estela), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:20 (twenty years ago)

(that detective one is good)

― estela (estela), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:22 (twenty years ago)

i have no fucking idea why asians are still picked on in pop culture as much as they are.

what does this mean?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:33 (twenty years ago)

most people's lives are cliched and packed with redundancies. everything you do has been done a million times before, including grousing about screenwriters.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:34 (twenty years ago)

unhip loser characters* using pimp slang (as a way of showing what a JARRING ANACHRONISM that is, yawn)

*also see: characters with foreign accents, the elderly, juilliard professors

i have no fucking idea why asians are still picked on in pop culture as much as they are.

it means that every time i turn on comedy central and there's an "up-and-coming" white comedian with vaguely slimy libertarian values, he's making fun of asians. it puzzles me why this is acceptable.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:37 (twenty years ago)

ah, ok (we don't have that in england).

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:39 (twenty years ago)

most people's lives are cliched and packed with redundancies. everything you do has been done a million times before, including grousing about screenwriters.

including grousing about grousing about, ad nauseam.

dammit i KNOW that, but a script is not a life. even if you're going to do realism, you STILL need to know how to write for a breadth of possible situations. a good screenwriter wouldn't string together cliches to represent a character with a brilliantly innovative creative mind.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:43 (twenty years ago)

Amnesia. Has anyone is real life actually had amnesia?

see "unknown white male"

― sffd, Friday, 18 November 2005 09:44 (twenty years ago)

ha, remember when i said i was going to sleep? nice.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:44 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: Villain dies twice. So obvious it hardly needed saying though.
Destroy: Montage (thanks Team America for putting the montage song in my head)
Destroy: Famous person (usually the President) disguising themselves and wandering the streets incognito, gazing wistfully at normal people doing normal things (usually couples buying christmas trees while laughing).

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:48 (twenty years ago)

i often gaze wistfully at normal people doing normal things!

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:53 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: Montage (thanks Team America for putting the montage song in my head)

http://tesla.liketelevision.com/liketelevision/images/lowrez/potemkin211.jpg

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 09:57 (twenty years ago)

Re the detective at the funeral cliche : why are these funerals always outside? Real funerals are held in production-line chapels.

Anyway - not just narration, but narration to camera. Destroy! Apart from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Sassy, hip indie directors of the mid 1990's were particularly guilty of this.

Also destroy : action films (or any genre actually) ending with a glorified street brawl between the 2 main characters, who apparently have superhuman powers of endurance all of a sudden. It's just lazy and predictable, and also boring as you know who's going to win anyway.

I'm trying to think of a search.

― Matt #2 (Matt #2), Friday, 18 November 2005 10:01 (twenty years ago)

villain 'not dying' might be the most annoying of all.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 10:02 (twenty years ago)

Real funerals are held in production-line chapels.

my grandmother's funeral last year was outdoors (in the rain, beat that).

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 10:02 (twenty years ago)

search: the long, stationary shot of the character walking somewhere, in real time, as the closing credits roll (this could be more of a directorial/DP cliche than a screenwriting one)

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 10:06 (twenty years ago)

Horror or action film : 2 characters go off in different directions to search the creepy house. We follow the one character, it's dark, it's tense, they're feeling uneasy. JUMP! The other character's come out of nowhere and grabbed their shoulder. Other character looks at them meaningfully. They continue.

DESTROY!

― Matt #2 (Matt #2), Friday, 18 November 2005 10:07 (twenty years ago)

has anyone mentioned the good-guy about to get whacked, shot is heard, turns out the good guy's sidekick has shot baddie in the back?

that's my final answer.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 10:08 (twenty years ago)

detective attends funeral but at a polite 30m distance.

search this if it's dirty harry!

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 18 November 2005 10:09 (twenty years ago)

destroy: people hanging up the phone without saying goodbye. no one does this in real life except my grandpa.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 18 November 2005 10:11 (twenty years ago)

destroy: people hanging up the phone without saying goodbye.

every scene should contain five minutes of "okay, yeah... yeah, i'll see you later, no i gotta go... that's fine, look, i'm running late for a meeting... well just think of SOMETHING. gotta go. there's meatloaf in the freezer. love ya."

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 10:15 (twenty years ago)

also every movie should star either woody allen or bob newhart.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 18 November 2005 10:19 (twenty years ago)

I always just assumed Americans never said bye when they hung up.

― Good Dog (Good Dog), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

search: film starts with helicopter shot over city. we zoom into a car moving through the streets...

― Good Dog (Good Dog), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:05 (twenty years ago)

i like that!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:06 (twenty years ago)

Character turns on TV news just as the item about whatever it is they're interested in comes on. Then they turn it off again.

Apologies if this has been flagged up already, I can't be arsed to read through 90-odd posts to check. It is Friday, after all.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:09 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: flawed but loveable male protagonist comes across slightly-better-looking-than-her-position-in-life-might-suggest female in a situation which involves one of them embarrassing themselves.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:17 (twenty years ago)

'kipps'

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:18 (twenty years ago)

destroy: people hanging up the phone without saying goodbye. no one does this in real life except my grandpa.

Re the detective at the funeral cliche : why are these funerals always outside? Real funerals are held in production-line chapels.

I agree these are clichés, but why should it matter whether they reflect what is done in real life or not? Movies aren't real life. Although they sometimes reflect real life, the more interesting bits are when they don't.

Actually, the people hanging up the phone without saying goodbye cliché is probably far less annoying than if the movies showed how people actually said good bye on the phone.

― jz, Friday, 18 November 2005 11:20 (twenty years ago)

people hanging up the phone without saying goodbye. no one does this in real life except my grandpa.

Um, and Americans.

Though watching the "Infernal Affairs" trilogy I was tickled at how every phone conversation ended with "buhbye" - corrupt Hong Kong cops be well brought up!

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:23 (twenty years ago)

Um, and Americans.

not true! if anything we have a problem hanging up... as i alluded to before, we end up saying goodbye five or six times before we successfully end the call.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

Search: Scriptwriter resisting the temptation to labour the point.
Destroy: Some fucken eejit in the audience explaining it to the person next to him/her anyway.

Example: It is Witness. Lukas Haas sees the picture of Danny Glover in the trophy case. He looks back over at Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford catches the meaning of his look and comes over to stand beside him. He does not say "What is it, kid". He does not say "oh no, not Danny Glover, he was such a good cop". Luckily, at this point, some fucken eejit in the cinema behind me says "that's the guy who did it. he's a cop."

Did we not discuss on some thread a long time ago the whole hanging up/finding a parking space right outside where you need to be/turning on the telly to hear exactly the news you need to hear thing? Like, I don't really want to watch two characters spend twenty minutes parking their car, thanks.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:34 (twenty years ago)

destroy: showdown in a warehouse

― Good Dog (Good Dog), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

i think this thread has derailed a bit from dialogue cliches (which i dunno if 'we've' done b4) to scenario cliches (done many times).

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

How can it be derailed from something it wasn't specifically intended to be, Henry? (or was it, JBR?)

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

well, the thread started w. dialogue. and typically (i dunno, but...) i don't think screenwriters write much more than 'they park the car' -- if that.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:42 (twenty years ago)

i was hoping we'd get into the mechanics of scriptwriting, since we haven't talked about that much. but scenarios are good too.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:46 (twenty years ago)

i would get around it by not showing the characters parking in the first place (unless something significant happens during the parking). i'd just cut to them entering the room, and leave the audience to assume for itself what the characters' parking experience was like.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

destroy: tv news as stand-in for other, less played-out forms of exposition

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:51 (twenty years ago)

other, less played-out forms of exposition

84: INT DAY: Douglas hits 'REFRESH'

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)

search: a scene in a movie i saw where the radio was already on in the background (at low volume), there was an awkward lull in the characters' conversation, and when the relevant news story came on, the girl did the natural thing and walked over to turn the radio up.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 11:57 (twenty years ago)

One of my personal pet peeves is prequels that feel they have to map exactly on to the original film. The first three Star Wars films are the main baddies here. Why does absolutely everything that happened in the original three films have to be foreshadowed here? Also in the absolutely appalling Red Dragon, where Anthony Hopkins is told at the end that a female FBI agent will be coming to see him and he asks "what is her name?" and Will Graham has only just left the building! Man, Lecter has an exciting life for a prisoner.

in fact I think that film should be taught alongside Manhunter in screenwriting classes. "Less is More" is very much the lesson there.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 18 November 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

Jody was that something to do with space flight? What the hell was it? argh help

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 18 November 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

in fact I think that film should be taught alongside Manhunter in screenwriting classes. "Less is More" is very much the lesson there.

"As a child, my heart bleeds for him. Someone took a little boy and turned him into a monster. But as an adult... as an adult, he's irredeemable. He butchers whole families to fulfill some sick fantasy. As an adult, I think someone should blow the sick fuck out of his socks."

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 18 November 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

Jody was that something to do with space flight?

no, sorry. :-)

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

I see you missed out the What the hell was it? argh help bit. Ok I'll keep thinking

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 18 November 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

i'm thinking of a pretty obscure american comedy from the late '70s -- not even well-known as a cult movie. don't sweat too hard thinking of what it could be.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 November 2005 12:34 (twenty years ago)

typically (i dunno, but...) i don't think screenwriters write much more than 'they park the car' -- if that.

I think it depends on the writer, but by and large, if the parking is relevant or interesting, then obviously they'll write more. If it's not, then they'll write less. The writer isn't there to do the director's job for them, but any contribution that makes the script more rounded is worth including.

I have plenty of scripts on my desk if anyone wants me to find examples?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 18 November 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

search: in '80s college films especially, THE CRUSTY OLD DEAN

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 18 November 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

The evil villain or his assistants have the hero at gunpoint. Please just shoot the hero in the head or have a damn good reason not to, other than the need to have a dramatic confrontation. I cannot watch films of the "easily escapable and unnecessarily complicated death" school nowadays.

Search: the first Die Hard, where Willis gets to confront Rickman, but Rickman's unarmed so the problem doesn't arise.

― HALLUCIN 8 (noodle vague), Friday, 18 November 2005 13:35 (twenty years ago)

THE CRUSTY OLD DEAN who is always called Vernon.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 18 November 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

"Carl, don't be a goof."

― g-clit (g-kit), Friday, 18 November 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

Destroy:

"Get out."

(pause)

"I said GET OUT!"

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 18 November 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

The damn good reason for pausing is that the villian has to explain the full motivation of his dastardly plans to the hero who is about to die.

"Luke I am your father..."

destroy: child abuse as motivation

― Good Dog (Good Dog), Friday, 18 November 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

"Remember, no matter what, I'll always be there for you."

(dead no less than ten minutes later)

D-STROI

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: War film – just after 1st bit of fighting, everyone's laying around, talking about home. One youngish guy is passing round a photo of his wife and young kid back home. ('Hey I wouldnt mind a piece of that action when I rotate back to the real world,' etc.) He dies next.

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 18 November 2005 13:56 (twenty years ago)

Extra points if a sniper shoots him in the head right as the photo is handed back to him.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

Search: If the sniper shoots through the photo but the kid escapes unharmed.

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 18 November 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

My favorite: characters talking on the phone so that we know what the person on the other end of the line is saying.
(Man picks up phone)"Hello? Yes? You say you spotted Mendoza? He's at the waterfront district? Bring backup? What's that? Why am I repeating every goddamn thing you say?"

― Sengai, Friday, 18 November 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

I love that. It's like they're talking to Skippy.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

...followed by cops shouting "LET'S MOVE! LET'S MOVE!"

xpost

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

I also love when bad scriptwriters introduce characters:
"Can you pass the saltshaker, John Wilson?" "I sure can, Mary Lou Stevens! Right after Janet Parker is done using it!"

― Sengai, Friday, 18 November 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

Search:

"That's it, Branigan. I want your gun AND your badge on my desk in FIVE MINUTES!!! You're off the case!"

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:23 (twenty years ago)

Most of these are so cliched that no one actually uses them anymore. GET NEW CLICHES PLEASE. The "hot girl dancing poorly to show she is quirky" one was good.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

Destroy every uplifting little illustrative story they tell in films and telly programmes everywhere. The West Wing is particularly guilty of this kind of crap. You can always tell when they're going to start it, too. The character gets a faraway look in his or her eyes, turns slightly away from the person they're speaking to, and starts saying 'you know, when I was a little boy/college student/raw recruit, there was this kid with no shoes/giant apple tree/crusty old sergeant, and I/it/he used to cry whenever I laughed at him/drop apples on my head when the wind blew/beat me with a bar of soap tied up in a sock...' and so on. I hate it.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

Our hero is lying on the ground, with the villain pointing a gun at him. Close up on hero's face. We hear a shot, and the hero screws up his eyes. Cut to villain, still pointing gun. He topples over slowly. Behind him is hot chick, holding a smoking gun with both hands, like women do.

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

After a clean getaway, "Oh SHIT! We forgot _____. We have to go back!"

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:30 (twenty years ago)

Usually a cat or an adorable child.

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

how about movies where every character lights a fresh cigarette every time they reappear after any amount of time offscreen. Hell to watch when you're quitting.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

I don't know how long it's been since I saw a new movie with people smoking cigarettes. Even in 40's period pieces no one seems to smoke anymore.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

fight club and the man who wasn't there, to name two

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

(uh, to name two movies that illustrate fritz's cliche, that is)

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

Pointless, "edgy" flashback structure.
Example?
PULP FICTION.
What exactly was the purpose of it in that film? Or in any of the useless films that ripped it off? I'm excluding Memento from this because it was necessary to the plot.

― Matt #2 (Matt #2), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

TMWWT is a good counterexample to my cliche, though.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

because it's a period piece, you mean?

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 18 November 2005 15:55 (twenty years ago)

there lots of nonstop smoking in hong kong flicks too, i remember one recently (infernal affairs?) where the villain smokes as he eats a big bowl of noodles...

i'm thinking this may be more of a search than a destroy cliche

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 18 November 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

An appropriately smokey period piece, yeah.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 16:02 (twenty years ago)

Doesn't everyone still smoke in Asia and particularly China? In real life I mean.

See also Elliot Gould in The Long Goodbye. I love where he's run down by a car and still keeps his cigarette clenched in his lips.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 16:04 (twenty years ago)

Search the character in Le Cercle Rouge who lights a cigarette before he has to hide in the trunk of a car, then gets in while still smoking. Although I think that was Melville playing with the cliches really.

― Matt #2 (Matt #2), Friday, 18 November 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

we haven't even breached the topic of lifetime movies yet here, have we?

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 18 November 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

The structure in Pulp Fiction IS neccessary - if it was told in a linear fashion it would have to keep cutting between the characters, and that would weaken the film considerably. I personally like wanky narrative structures, anyway.

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 18 November 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

i hate characters that get epiphanies in the rain

― alex in montreal (alex in montreal), Friday, 18 November 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

This is more of a directorial cliche I think, but it's always bothered me when a helicopter just appears out of nowhere. One minute the hero is on the roof thinking he got away. Suddenly a helicopter rises above the roof line and is making huge noise and shining a spotlight on him.

― recovering optimist (Royal Bed Bouncer), Friday, 18 November 2005 18:40 (twenty years ago)

Just to follow up on the thing i mentioned before, Margaret Cho said about 10 years ago that you'd never see an Asian guy cast as just a regular guy, but always as a "foreign-exchange student or tai chi master or something."

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 18 November 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

CAMPAIGN EVENT: Ribbons and balloons are falling, the crowd is cheering, the candidate/president approaches the podium, shaking hands with people along the reception line. Everything filmied in slow-motion.
Suddenly, a pop is heard! The Secret Service guy reacts and begins to urgently survey the crowd. Haha, it is but a BALLOON popping! The Secret Service guy shakes his head in relief.

Then he sees the shady guy in trench coat approaching the candidate/president. Shady Guy is sweaty and nervous. Secret Service Guy moves in. He's just out of reach when Shady Guy reaches into his coat and sloooooowly - pulls - out - - - a pen and paper for an autograph!

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 18 November 2005 19:08 (twenty years ago)

Has anyone here ever shouted "Nnooo!" when somethingf bad happens, or even seen anyone else do it?

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 18 November 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

I have done it, like when a beer bottle is rolling and I can't stop it. from going over the edge of a cliff. But I rarely shake my fists at the heavens.

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Friday, 18 November 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

"Voiceover is the crutch of a poor screenwriter"

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 18 November 2005 19:30 (twenty years ago)

unhip loser characters* using pimp slang

Jody, you be straight trippin', boo.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 18 November 2005 19:32 (twenty years ago)

Margaret Cho said about 10 years ago that you'd never see an Asian guy cast as just a regular guy, but always as a "foreign-exchange student or tai chi master or something."

Isn't this why Harold and Kumar was such a landmark?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 18 November 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

Yup, exactly.

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 18 November 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

destroy: most scenes with animals, where you can practically see the trainer making hand signals off stage while the animals act knowledgeable, concerned, wacky, cover eyes with paws/flippers/wings. Certainly, screenwriters are not all to blame for this one, obv, but it often shows up in romantic comedies that aren't all that wacky. Stop making animals do stuff.
vs. good animal scenes like the staring cat in Go, or the dog in Gilmore Girls recently who seems to just hang out while everyone talks about his neurosis.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 18 November 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: conversations in dramatic TV shows that end with character 1 walking away, then char2 saying char1's name to get them to turn back around, and then char2 saying "good luck" or "thanks".

A search alternative to the original destroy: exposition through a character looking at pictures of the deceased person. It's used often enough to be a cliche but it doesn't bother me for some reason.

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Friday, 18 November 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: conversations in dramatic TV shows that end with character 1 walking away, then char2 saying char1's name to get them to turn back around, and then char2 saying "good luck" or "thanks".

More precisely, Char2 says, "Oh, and [Char1]?"

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 18 November 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

Search: the casual way people go about their business while being questioned by policemen on Law & Order

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

They are NYers, they don't give a fuck. They are questioned by police like every other day.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:07 (twenty years ago)

jaymc: Haha yes, as if they have suddenly remembered. TV characters are notorious for forgetting the most important piece of the conversation.

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

"It's over."

― Petroski (petroski), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

Fighting with an intruder and knocking him out - then turning away from the lifeless body, sighing in relief.
or shooting an antagonist 10 times, which causes only temporary weakness.

Also, all of 'Signs' with Mel Gibson.

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

re: Narration"plus people are really bad at it these days - see Wonder Boys"

I thought the point of it in that movie was (Spoiler) that V/O was text from the book Douglas is writing at the end about the events that led to the destruction of his novel. ...And that he ain't much of a writer.

― General Doinel (Charles McCain), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: Timebomb defuse scene including big digital readout and various colored wires.

― sleep (sleep), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

One thing that hasn't been mentioned (or has and I missed it) is "The Shameless Reference To An Earlier (and probably better) Movie" Stuff like the Truffaut and Wilder references in "Vanilla Sky", the end of "Sunset Boulevard" popping up in "Trading Places" etc.

― General Doinel (Charles McCain), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:46 (twenty years ago)

Unless it's in a Bond film and he stops it at 0:07.

xpost

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

Bringing up L&O in a "screenwriting cliches" deal seems to easy a shot.

"Yeah, I saw him on Tuesday - right after the game."
"Really? Cuz the doorman says you saw him Wednesday night."
"Maybe I did...are you going somewhere with this, officer?"

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:48 (twenty years ago)

too easy

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

"sports sports sports sports"
"argh, my spouse!"
"sports sports sports - hey what's that sound?"
"bark! bark!"
"are you ok, sir? are you...OH MY GOD!!!!"

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

Has anyone here ever shouted "Nnooo!" when somethingf bad happens, or even seen anyone else do it?

This exact thing was the shit-icing on the crap-cake that was Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. Seeing Darth Vader make a "NOOOOO!" actually made me LOL in the theatre really loudly.

― elmo (allocryptic), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

search: mysterious enemy delivers threat/ransom note/etc by attaching it to a dart/knife/arrow and shooting it near the hero from a hidden location.

― sleep (sleep), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: "Hacking" scenes where the someone triumphantly says "we're in!" after having hacked teh mainframe etc.

― sleep (sleep), Friday, 18 November 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

search: mysterious enemy delivers threat/ransom note/etc by attaching it to a dart/knife/arrow and shooting it near the hero from a hidden location.
-- sleep (enemy.airshi...), November 18th, 2005 2:57 PM. (sleep) (later)

Do you have a suggestion for a superior method of sinister message delivery?

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

No way. In fact that's how I deliver all my sinister messages myself.

― sleep (sleep), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

The old montage demonstrating a couple's new love by having them try on goofy hats to the sound of some peepy late 60s pop tune.

― Mark (MarkR), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

Oh sorry, I somehow missed that that was a "search."

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)

Should Dream Sequences be a "Search" or "Destroy"?

― General Doinel (Charles McCain), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

If the sequence is revealed in hindsight, destroy. If announced ahead of time by a vapory dissolve, search.

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

it's almost a cliche to mention this cliche, but what about the scene where the protaganist stands up to the Man in a climactic public showdown in front of The Whole Town...

They do their best to triumph, but they fail in a conventional sense and have to resort to convincing The Whole Town of their case by appealing to their Values a la It's A Wonderful Life...

then - and this is the big cliche part - one member of the crowd bravely begins to clap slowly and determinedly until everyone else slowly comes to their sense and joins in on the clapping and eventually cheering wildly...

Then the evil guy and his henchman look at each other like "woah! they're onto us! exit stage: immediately!" and then they try to run away but they fall into a vat of marshmallow or something and everyone's all "ha ha stupid evil guys, you should have remembered we're in a marshamllow factory!".

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

that ending almost ruins Revenge Of The Nerds

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

and it didn't even have a vat of marshmallow!

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

cinema would be better if vats of marshmallow were a movie cliche

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:32 (twenty years ago)

The more evil the villain, the more spectacular the death. I think the ultimate example of this is either

1 - Action Jackson (um, I think), wherein Jack Palance is shot through a penthouse window, for some reason bursts into flame and is tied to a bungee cord, then plummets (almost) the height of the skyscraper, but after he plunges through a greenhouse the bungee cord stops him and then he bounces around at the end of it burning alive.

2 - Road House, wherein Ben Gazzara takes something like 15 shotgun shells to the chest, one for each of the good, folksy townspeople he has wronged before finally falling over.

3 - Raiders of the Lost Ark, wherein the wrath of god melts Nazis.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

Hmmm...looking at imdb shows that Palance wasn't in Action Jackson, and I can't find a movie of his from about that time period that sounds right. I don't think I imagined that completely. Maybe it wasn't Palance OR Action Jackson that had that amazingly absurd death scene.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

fritz -- see the last ep of the boondocks (except everyone ignores huey and continues grinding to r. kelly)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:50 (twenty years ago)

is that show good? i've always meant to read the strip

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

Palance was in Tango & Cash. I can't remember how he died but he was quite non-kosher throughout. I wouldn't be surprised if that's how he went out.

― 'Twan (miccio), Friday, 18 November 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

Nah, in Tango and Cash it was just simultaneous Stallone and Russell bullets to the head.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 22:01 (twenty years ago)

I cna't believe I remember that. Please kill me. Preferably by mens of flaming bungee plunge.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 22:01 (twenty years ago)

erm, "can't" "means"

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

mens of flaming bungee plunge is very iron john

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 18 November 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

the strip is great; for some reason they've decided that the ART of the strip was BESIDE THE POINT for the TV show which is grrr just dumb ... i'm willing to give the show a chance but i love the strip's FLAT and MINIMAL look, which for the show has been jettisoned entirely in favor of ... japanese-style anime

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 18 November 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

I'll have to check it out... tracer's respect for Pogo makes me trust him on comic strip matters.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 18 November 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

The Boondocks is no Pogo. Walt Kelly had a fantastically fluid line due to old-fashioned pen-and-brush technique, and his commentary was not very sledgehammeresque. Boondocks gets a zero for subtlety and the art is distinctly mechanical in appearance.

I still kinda like it, but you shouldn't expect it to resemble Pogo is all.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 18 November 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

oh, I don't at all... it's just I like Pogo and I like that Tracer likes Pogo.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 18 November 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)

i don't think i want to destroy this one, but just last night i was wondering why screenwriters absolutely insist that people who start fights on moving trains must inevitably do it on the roof.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:25 (twenty years ago)

cuz itz more exciting that way?

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:35 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, if they do it in the aisles it's just your typical 23.50 service from Paddigton. No glamour in that.

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:41 (twenty years ago)

yeah i guess, but they could also just have thousands of deadly snakes drop from the ceiling?

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

See Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade!

(Well, not from the ceiling, but there are snakes)

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:46 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: conversations in dramatic TV shows that end with character 1 walking away, then char2 saying char1's name to get them to turn back around, and then char2 saying "good luck" or "thanks".

See also, instead of saying "good luck" or "thanks", there is a horrible pregnant pause, then they say "nothing". Then Char1 turns back to go as they had been trying to do before being so pointlessly interrupted, and then looks back to see if Char2 has decided to verbalise the inner angst. (S)he doesn't. Cue "meaningful" glances.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:48 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: conversations in dramatic TV shows that end with character 1 walking away, then char2 saying char1's name to get them to turn back around, and then char2 saying "good luck" or "thanks".

Search: when char2 says "May the Force be with you."

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

Destroy:

Char1 says something like "I'm glad it all worked out." Char2 says "So am I", then looks meaningfully into the middle distance and repeats in a soft voice, "So am I."

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:51 (twenty years ago)

Search: Orgazmo's treatment of varying cliches.

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:52 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: When young, male protagonist "shows 'em" by punching bully-type in the face, yet doesn't hurt their own hand.

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:53 (twenty years ago)

Or indeed any of Trey Parker and Matt Stone's treatment of movie cliches.

xpost

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Friday, 18 November 2005 23:53 (twenty years ago)

oh now that reminds me of when like, a couple really really hates each other and vehemently exhibits same by throwing out the old "not if you were the last so and so on earth" routine, then they pause, to stare at each other hatefully, then start making out. alternately, as the fighting climaxes it cuts to abrupt shot of same couple in bed.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 19 November 2005 00:01 (twenty years ago)

even worse is when a whole movie is based on that premise. I hate you I hate you, wait, I LOVE YOU!

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Saturday, 19 November 2005 00:10 (twenty years ago)

When a minor character has an obstructed bowel, just so the main character can show their compassion. I hate that cliche. Really a lot.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 19 November 2005 02:12 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: When a guy thinks his girlfriend is getting sexual with him (he can never see/is asleep or something) but it's really her pet dog/cat/monkey etc., then he sees it's a pet, thinks for a second, and "goes with it". eeewwww! it's not funny!

― scout (scout), Saturday, 19 November 2005 09:00 (twenty years ago)

In music biz films, when the story climaxes with the hungry-for-fame hotshot muso (or washed up former star) playing their big number onstage. Then the audience slowly start to clap along / look at each other and nod meaningfully / wave their hands in the air and whoop, etc. The protagonist has now "made it", roll credits. See Purple Rain, the execrable Hearts Of Fire, loads more.

Generally speaking, destroy.

― Matt #2 (Matt #2), Saturday, 19 November 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

Except when Wyld Stallyns save the universe at the end of Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. That one can definitely stay.

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 19 November 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

musical biopics, whether wholly fictional or purportedly true-to-life, will always include one scene where the humble bass player/DJ/drummer turns to the fame-addled/ego-bloated/drug-addicted lead singer/rapper/guitar wizard and says, "It was supposed to be about the music, man. The Music." before walking off in disgust, usually smashing instrument or tossing drum sticks in the process.

Thus begins the 3rd act: The lead singer/rapper/guitar wizard hits rock bottom, cleans himself up with the love a good woman. At the good woman's insistance, he finally seeks out the bass player/DJ/drummer, who now works teaching retarded kids to read, and apologizes - usually without having to really say anything because, like, they both just know. Triumphant reunion show (as described by Matt #2 directly above) follows - proving it really really is all about The Music.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Saturday, 19 November 2005 18:17 (twenty years ago)

dead man's curve anyone?

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 19 November 2005 18:32 (twenty years ago)

Also, singer rapper guitarwiz is NEVER a woman. Well, almost never.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Saturday, 19 November 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

Also, Patrick Swayze.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 19 November 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

oh, another terrible cliche: the audition/job interview montage where all the candidates are "hilariously" bad.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Saturday, 19 November 2005 19:06 (twenty years ago)

oh like in Mrs Doubtfire? otm

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 19 November 2005 19:15 (twenty years ago)

it's especially bad when one of the hilariously bad candidates is a wacky twist on an ethnic stereotype, and the audience is supposed to be all, "oh my god, a comical Rastafarian who wants to be a French chef!?!" or "a Hasidic rap group performing at the prom, I don't think so!"... sometimes they try to undercut this by having the apparently hilariously bad candidate end up getting the gig with hilarious but good results.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Saturday, 19 November 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

WOMAN: So, Morty called, and it looks like they've got a part for me in [L.A./New York/Nashville].
MAN: Oh, really? When do they want you out there?
WOMAN: Um, [tomorrow/by Friday/next week].
MAN: Wow. So what did Morty say when you told him no?
WOMAN: Uhhhhh...
MAN: You did tell him "no", right?
WOMAN: Uhhhhhhh....

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 20 November 2005 01:22 (twenty years ago)

I think this was done more often in 70s, but when the hero commandeers a vehicle at random in a chase scene and comedy ensues with the passengers getting taken along for the ride.

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Sunday, 20 November 2005 05:04 (twenty years ago)

-- Kim (grimstitc...), November 18th, 2005.

After which it cuts to outside - there's been a nuclear holocaust and they actually *are* the last so and sos on earth.

― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Sunday, 20 November 2005 05:07 (twenty years ago)

"a Hasidic rap group performing at the prom, I don't think so!"

it has to be said like "i don't THINK sooooooo" in a sing-songy valley girl voice, accompanied by a sassy "talk to the hand" gesture.

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 20 November 2005 05:26 (twenty years ago)

How about the awkward protagonist loss-of-virginity scene which immediately cuts to the next day, protagonist with springy step and ear-to-earrin.

― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Sunday, 20 November 2005 05:30 (twenty years ago)

er, grin

― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Sunday, 20 November 2005 05:30 (twenty years ago)

an old fave:

http://www.moviecliches.com/

When phone-calls are traced you can see a map on the screen with a beam closing in on the caller, and the caller always knows how long he can talk before he has to hang up to not be traced down. He always manages to say everything perfectly timed for 2 minutes.
Video-phones display pictures of the callers looking straight into the camera. The camera must be in the middle of their screen, in other words.
If the hero tries to call someone he needs urgently he won't need more than three rings to know that he/she is not there.
If someone wants to call the hero, he/she will let the phone ring forever before hanging up, expecially if the caller does not know that the hero has to fight his way to the phone through a bunch of bad guys.

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 20 November 2005 08:30 (twenty years ago)

How about the awkward protagonist loss-of-virginity scene which immediately cuts to the next day, protagonist with springy step and ear-to-ear grin.

classic! my favorite part of harold and maude!

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 20 November 2005 08:34 (twenty years ago)

My pet peeve is the "something for everyone" Hollywood ending, where all the "good" characters (and sometimes the bad guys too) reach some sort of satisfying conclusion before the movie ends. Example: the movie is about two sympathetic characters competing for the same romantic interest. In the end only one of them wins his/her heart, but the other one must find some love interest too. Or if the protagonist has a sidekick, he/she falls in love with the main romantic interest's best friend or something. This often happens in the final scene, like, the main couple is kissing and hugging, and the side character looks at them happy but kinda envious too, and then he spots the best friend/assistant/sister/etc he hadn't noticed before in that way, and ZING! Love isn't the only way to do the "something for everyone" ending though, it can for example be a speech that the protagonist holds at the end of the film, saying something nice and meaningful to every character that has helped him/her along the way (examples: Patch Addams, Girl, Interrupted). Or, if it's an action film with a male hero with a female sidekick, the sidekick gets to fight the bad guy's right hand (but never the bad guy himself), who's often female too. This sort of ending is so common that when a Hollywood film doesn't have it, you feel like something's missing... "Hey, what about that nice grocery store guy? Where's his happy ending?"

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 20 November 2005 12:31 (twenty years ago)

i don't think i want to destroy this one, but just last night i was wondering why screenwriters absolutely insist that people who start fights on moving trains must inevitably do it on the roof.

I wish a movie would connect doing it on the roof of a train with the "I hate you! I LOVE YOU!" cliche.

― 'Twan (miccio), Sunday, 20 November 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

And then it could go through a tunnel!

― 'Twan (miccio), Sunday, 20 November 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

HAHAHAHA Awesome

― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Sunday, 20 November 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

How about anything involving looking into a kaleidescope/snow globe/prism/aquarium/lava lamp or whatever to invoke wonderment and awe.

― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Sunday, 20 November 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

I hate it when there's too much gazing and eye-contact without dialogue between characters. In real life, people chatter and try to establish commonalities, even if with complete falsehoods. If someone gazed at you without speaking they way they do in every other movie you'd get the creeps. And when characters DO talk, it's often some stupid actor-ish monologue, while the other character is totally silent, rather than holding up their end with small responses and interruptions the way real people do.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 20 November 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

what i hate is the way tv/radio talk show hosts are always cutting off their guests. i know time is at a premium and they have to keep the shows entertaining, but sheesh, if you're going to have guests at all, don't keep interrupting them mid-sentence, don't ask them to hurry up and get to the point, don't second-guess all their answers before they've opened their mouths.

yeah people suck, but be honest with yourself about it.

― j b goddamnfucking r (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 20 November 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

It's true. Sometimes I transcribe taped interviews, and it's amazing to see how dogged interviewers can be about sticking to their list of questions. They'll interrupt the interviewee right when they're getting into the zone—really telling a good story—in order to ask something dopey like "who would you say were your biggest influences?" Makes me crazy. You resort to your question list if the interview is DRAGGING. Duh!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 20 November 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

How is that a screenwriting cliche?

― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Sunday, 20 November 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

uh, it's not, it's called the thread going momentarily off-topic.

― j b goddamnfucking r (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 20 November 2005 22:51 (twenty years ago)

my all-time favourite bit of "remember" exposition EVER is in the first dr who movie, where it is given to two DALEKS to explain the history of their own planet to one another!!

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 November 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

also you forgot the worst bit of film-phone business = when the other guy hangs up and the one our end LOOKS AT THE RECEIVER!

this has never happened in the history of real life ever

(sistrah becky always gets annoyed when ppl deeply dreathe in the scent of is it carnations? anyway a famously non-smelling flower except in films)

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 November 2005 23:12 (twenty years ago)

beth parker… I don't think most screenwriters worth their (waldo) salt have any interest in approximating the inarticulate verbal minutuae that makes up 'real' speech.

― remy (x Jeremy), Sunday, 20 November 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

i watched "john q" on tv last night -- it's hokey really but it ratchets up the "social message" business like sam fuller (kinda) (ie absurdly melodramatic and shouty in a a good way) and is v.watchable generally

but it has the MOTHER of all "carefully prepared forgotten elements", which i hesitate to mention as it feelks like a spoiler even though it TOTALLY isn't (it's obvious right from the moment the kid collapses what this earlier scene will come to mean, an hour and 20 mins later), but the way it's dpone is so extreme it's kinda spooky and disorientating

it is also fun bcz you can play the game of calling him "dave q" thoughout

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 November 2005 23:33 (twenty years ago)

the important thing to remember abt voiceovers is that they = unreliable narrator always

http://fladnag.free.free.fr/cercledefaeries/galeries/dune/alia8.jpg

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 November 2005 23:36 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: Happy endings

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

One irritating screenwriting cliché is when characters illustrate a point by telling a story. Like someone asks a character some important question, and whether he's a cop, a professor, a boxer, or a janitor, he's always able to come up out of the blue with an eloquent, metaphoric story (which usually concerns something about his childhood - "When I was a kid, my dad used to...") that'll in the end answer the question. And the other character always stays silent through the whole monologue. Can you imagine what this'd be like in real life...?

"Hey Jack, why do you always act like an asshole around women?"

"You see Bruce, when I was a child I had a dog that I loved profoundly. He's name was Beppo. Now Beppo, he loved digging up the worms in our backyard, his black nose always deep in the soil. But one day, one dreadful day that I'll never forget..."

"Hey! HEY!"

"What?"

"I asked why you're acting like a jerk, I don't want to hear a story about a fucking dog called Zeppo eating fucking worms!"

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:18 (twenty years ago)

Morgan Freeman always gets these parts.

"Oftentimes..."

"When a man..."

"You know, some say..."

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:23 (twenty years ago)

even worse is when a whole movie is based on that premise. I hate you I hate you, wait, I LOVE YOU!

In fairness, Jane Austen to thread.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:31 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I actually had an image of Morgan Freeman in my head while writing the previous post. The storyteller thing can often intertwine with the "magical negro" persona mentioned utphread, of which Freeman is the best present-day example.

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

I think I might skip the penguin film purely because of him. Even though I, like everyone else, love penguins.

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

what i hate is the way tv/radio talk show hosts are always cutting off their guests.

I love when radio hosts who do this get phone callers who are even worse.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Monday, 21 November 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

beth parker… I don't think most screenwriters worth their (waldo) salt have any interest in approximating the inarticulate verbal minutuae that makes up 'real' speech. Yeah, I know, accept the artifice inherent in the form, but sometimes screenwriters DO try, and it's alway cool. Or sometimes cool. The Altmanesque hubbub effect can be confusing. God forbid I get more confused than I already am.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 21 November 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

Destroy - sideline conversations about the minutae of popular culture, two blokes in a submarine arguing about who drew Silver Surfer the best or which Aerosmith album rocks hardest or the origins of smurfs etc:

Stand up Kevin Smith/Tarantino & loads of others...

― mzui (mzui), Monday, 21 November 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

Why should that be destroyed?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 21 November 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

That kind of thing was fresh and fun in the early 90s, but is so overplayed now.

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Monday, 21 November 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

Hack the computer. DAMN! It's asking for a password. I know:

Types: "OVERRIDE"

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 21 November 2005 17:08 (twenty years ago)

More tension = faster typing

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 21 November 2005 17:16 (twenty years ago)

That kind of thing was fresh and fun in the early 90s, but is so overplayed now.

Exactly!

― mzui (mzui), Monday, 21 November 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

The whole guessing someone's password on a computer in 30 seconds deal.

'Hang on! What was the professor's dead daughter's pet gerbil called?'
'Stinky'
*types STINKY, still no luck*
'Damn!'
*moments pause*
'Wait, what age was Stinky when he died?'
'Umm, 5'
*types STINKY5*
'WERE IN!'

― mzui (mzui), Monday, 21 November 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

Plus, no-one uses anything close to Windows, Linux or any other kind of platform in movies - it always looks like some kind of weird Powerpoint based interface or something done on a BBC Micro.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 21 November 2005 17:37 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, big green letters on a black screen.

― chap who would dare to tell uninteresting celeb spotting stories (chap), Monday, 21 November 2005 17:39 (twenty years ago)

I remember 'Contact' in particular being hilarious for it's computer based shenanigans, all that stuff about sidebands and isolating frequencies.

― mzui (mzui), Monday, 21 November 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

The finale approaches and everyone is wondering, whodunit? Omigod, it was the protagonist's best buddy!! Now who would've though that?!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 12:21 (twenty years ago)

xxpost
in flashing text:
"ACCESS GRANTED"
or
"MATCH FOUND"

come ON! we're in a hurry here!

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

"Now there are 7 locks on this safe. The first 6 I can do, but it'll take time. The 7th is going to be a real badass."

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

My least favourite line of dialogue ever : "I'm so, so sorry". Said mawkishly when someone's wife dies or whatever. Piss off.

― Matt #2 (Matt #2), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

WHITE DETECTIVE: Look, I'm just tryin' to do my job here. I can't help it if you people keep getting in my way.
BLACK POLICE OFFICER: "You people"? You tryin' to bring race into this?
WHITE DETECTIVE: You got me all wrong. I just know when to call a spade a spade.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

In Veronica Mars, everyone uses OS X.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

Destroy: conversations in dramatic TV shows that end with character 1 walking away, then char2 saying char1's name to get them to turn back around, and then char2 saying "good luck" or "thanks".

There's also "be careful"

Search: Harold wakes up to Kumar licking him

― alex in montreal (alex in montreal), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

Search: thousands of films from the Forties and Fifties that contain the line "Saaaay, whats the big idea?"

― mzui (mzui), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 22:49 (twenty years ago)

also: "oh, a wise guy, eh?"

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 24 November 2005 02:28 (twenty years ago)

two weeks pass...

Set-up: Oh no, ghosts!
Pay-Off: Oh NO! I'M A GHOST!

(ghost can be replaced by psycho killer, alien, brainwashed assassin etc.)

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 9 December 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

destroy: wickedly funny side character

― Autumn Almanac, Sunday, 1 June 2008 00:37 (seventeen years ago)

Has anyone here ever shouted "Nnooo!" when somethingf bad happens, or even seen anyone else do it?

Hahaha the movies have gotten me to do this. I end up making the NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO face in a lot of photos.

― Abbott, Sunday, 1 June 2008 03:45 (seventeen years ago)

fourteen years pass...

my current least favorite - someone who can't solve a mystery or piece something together....

UNTIL THEY HAVE A CONVENIENTLY LUCID DREAM THAT REVEALS THE ELUSIVE ANSWER.

exception: Sopranos season 2, Tony re: Big Pussy.

― We were clothed, except for Caan, who was naked. Don't know why. (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 13 July 2022 02:25 (three years ago)

God I hated the dream sequences in the Sopranos.

― Antifa Sandwich Artist (Boring, Maryland), Wednesday, 13 July 2022 13:56 (three years ago)

Yeah, big green letters on a black screen.

welcome to my notepad++ settings

― Ste, Wednesday, 13 July 2022 14:01 (three years ago)

I once passed James Gandolfini on the sidewalk of a Soho sidestreet sitting in front of a science project volcano, talking to another, standing man while the presumed creator or co-creator of the volcano as well as offspring of Gandolfini stood there as well. All I could think was “I’m in Tony Soprano’s dream sequence!”

― L.H.O.O.Q. Jones (James Redd and the Blecchs), Wednesday, 13 July 2022 16:13 (three years ago)

one year passes...

making defeating the ultimate villain near-impossible to the point where when it does happen, the way it happens has to be disappointing.

like the finale of Bodies

― a very very unfair (Neanderthal), Monday, 13 November 2023 19:22 (two years ago)

two middle aged men playing squash/raquetball in the white indoor court... one is happily married (George Segal), the other a divorced swinging single (Elliot Gould)

― Andy the Grasshopper, Monday, 13 November 2023 19:34 (two years ago)

Anything where two characters meet for the first time and one of them says something like “got to say - I’m a huge fan of yours”. Was cute when Christopher Eccleston said it to Charles Dickens - repeated to death now

― Chuck_Tatum, Monday, 13 November 2023 20:48 (two years ago)

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