Your office Christmas party

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Mine was last night. I ingested many tequilla-based pommegranate cocktails. I'm not sure which was worse:

Sleeping in my shoes. Which were THREE INCH STILETOS.

Shamelessing hitting on nice radio producer boy from downstairs, who I only decided I fancied about three hours into said party.

Shame share please, because I'm clearly a twat.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 December 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

Mine was Wednesday night. I didn't go, because I was too busy moving. Apparently the other Katies didn't get home until 4 in the morning. I feel somewhat relieved.

― Kate Classic (kate), Friday, 16 December 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

Mine starts in three hours time. Wish me luck.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 16 December 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

Good luck!

Mine was last Saturday; and was a bit boring, frankly.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 16 December 2005 12:23 (twenty years ago)

I don't have a job. I have a home office (not a Home Office). I could have a party with the cat, perhaps. Place bets on which of us gets the most drunk.

― Zora (Zora), Friday, 16 December 2005 12:24 (twenty years ago)

Last night. Lots of office conspiracies/ badmouthing/ sniping - perfect really.

― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 December 2005 12:26 (twenty years ago)

I DJ'd and was the hit of the party! I played Kylie, Madonna, Prince, Jackson 5, you name it. I had thirty drunk babes yelling requests for Lipps Inc and Chaka Khan in my ear. Miraculously, I had it all! And then this old Greek lady from Records requested Zorba's Dance. And I had it! Yes, that version. So everyone forms a circle and she does her thing in the middle! It was heaven!

― moley, Friday, 16 December 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

I've got mine tonight. Georges on Baggot Street after a 'champagne reception' (their words) in SCRUFFY MURPHYS!? Sloping off around midnight to a friends party a few doors up from me. I love who I work with but we are all so hungover and tired I don't think I'll even need to sneak off as we'll all be ready to head off around then.

Dreading Saturday.

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Friday, 16 December 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

I think I'm going to be sick.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 December 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

mine lasted five minutes this past tuesday. we gave gift certificates to the manager and vp and ate a sandwich. whoopee.

― slow jamz and white guy indie acoustic shit (Chris V), Friday, 16 December 2005 12:53 (twenty years ago)

i'm drinking already and still at the office.. xmas lunch in a bit. hopefully no one will shamelessly hit on me during this. and then i'm off to some TOWNIE CLUB, wherein i hope to be hit on shamelessly indeed.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 16 December 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

I think I can do better than slow jamz for my party. I'll give catnip to the cat and eat cake. Whee!

― Zora (Zora), Friday, 16 December 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

slom jamz, that's five minutes more than we got. pffft!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 16 December 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

"I think I'm going to be sick"

Maybe wearing such giant shoes has given you vertigo. I just looked at a ruler, and three inches is a LOT.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 16 December 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

Maybe wearing such giant shoes has given you vertigo. I just looked at a ~~ruler~~penis, and three inches is a LOT.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 16 December 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

anyone get a christmas bonus? i got a company coffee mug....YAY! 8 years here and i get a coffee mug.

― slow jamz and white guy indie acoustic shit (Chris V), Friday, 16 December 2005 13:12 (twenty years ago)

I got a bottle of wine. We drank it to celebrate finishing the move.

― Kate Classic (kate), Friday, 16 December 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

my friend got $5000...of course he is a vp.

― slow jamz and white guy indie acoustic shit (Chris V), Friday, 16 December 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

slow jamz, again you have outdone me.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 16 December 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

i had to get off the subway one morning after a company xmas party (not my company, but a gigantic multinational corp that we worked with) to be sick. it was not good. i blame henessey, which for some reason was the only free drink on offer. hence, henessey cosmos and henessey martinis and henessey sidecars and god knows what. like a trooper, i sampled them all and then had to double-check that they were really as bad as i thought they were the first time around.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 16 December 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

what up LL.

― slow jamz and white guy indie acoustic shit (Chris V), Friday, 16 December 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

I stayed a total of 80 minutes. And the CEO talked to me for 2 minutes, I wonder how drunk he was.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 16 December 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

i sampled them all and then had to double-check that they were really as bad as i thought they were the first time around.

but third time's the charm!

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Friday, 16 December 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

third time is when you convince someone to just give you the bottle. hic.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 16 December 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

every year i come up with an increasingly revolting medical excuse as to why i can't go to mine. this year's was especially vile and no one believed it, either

― sfxxx, Friday, 16 December 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

My department's party was full of introverts milling around staring into their wineglasses. On leaving I passed another department's party, which had the lights out, bass thumping, people dressed to kill, and dirty dancing.

It was like Stardust Memories, but with booty skirts.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Friday, 16 December 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

i drank enough whisky and beer to kill a large sea mammal, did the electric slide into an ottoman in a hilarious dick van dyke-esque scenario, told two men i loved them, and then i projectile vomited all over the bathroom upon returning home.

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

same old, same old.

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

The last time we had anything like an "office Xmas party" was in, like... 1992, or thereabouts. Heheh.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

Mine was last night, and I didn't go; I went and saw Certified Bananas instead and probably had a far better time doing so, although the absence of everybody in my department but me this morning indicates that there are some epic hangovers in play today among my co-workers.

Unfortunately I can't get out of going to my department-wide one next Wednesday, which is at somebody's house and involves the dreaded Yankee swap.

― d4niel coh3n (dayan), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

you people really don't know how to enjoy an office party

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

we used to have huge company affairs about 7 years ago, until people trashed hotel rooms and what not.

― slow jamz and white guy indie acoustic shit (Chris V), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

more recently (like last week), i went to hstencil's office xmas party and had such a good time with the top-shelf open bar that i spent last friday morning dry heaving.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

see, that's what i'm talkin about

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:07 (twenty years ago)

mine was fine

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

actually, i think i would have been okay had i stopped after the party. instead i went to another bar and was given a bunch of drink tickets and redeemed them all at once and sat there with a little ring of cocktails around me, just revelling in being a drunk.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:10 (twenty years ago)

i believe the next day, when my mother found out i wasnt at work and called me at home, her reply was "right on"

xpost: well yeah, it's the post-party bar-going that's always the kiss of death. "another round? IF YOU SAY SO."

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

i hope this is making you feel better, anna!

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

Talk about dress. Ours was supposed to be BUSINESS ATTIRE - is that common? I expected it to be a little less formal.

― sleep (sleep), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

i wore this delightful frock:

http://dts.ystoretools.com/1092/images/250x1000/caveman.jpg

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

i hope to be hit on shamelessly indeed.

Happyslapping stylee?

We don't do xmas parties here. Thank god.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

they are fun! god, what a bunch of friggin grinches

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

i know! FREE LIQUOR, people. plus a license for misbehavior, basically.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

Ours is tonight but I didn't even have to come up with an excuse not to go because no-one from our team is going anyway. We were all discussing when we are going to quit our jobs at lunchtime. Morale is v high right now :P

Unfortunately I'm not in a position to take the voluntary redundancy which we have to take by Dec 31st. Arse.

I have to stay away from FREE LIQUOR as I inevitably break something expensive after drinking the entire drinks allowance and calling someone important a cunt.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

Holiday "potluck" consisting of not-free party tray food laid out on the conference table and some wrapping paper taped to the doors. Oh and we just spent like 45 minutes learning all the problems associated with downloading a free xmas screensaver and getting it to play on a couple of plasma screens attached to a computer that isn't allowed to have screensavers installed on it.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 16 December 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

it's times like this that i'm glad i dont have one of those jobs where you have to show up at a predetermined time or wear shirts with collars

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

they are the very definition of hell, seriously!
i'm already working on next year's excuse, though hopefully i won't be here then.

― sfxxx, Friday, 16 December 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

any job that doesnt forgive you for saying stupid things at the holiday party and/or groping people in the coat room isnt worth having

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

Well I'm trying to find a new job but the one I applied for just now turned out to be in Acton which is about 2 minutes away from Chiswick where I work now, and the main thing I hate about this job is the fucking commute. Bastards, why do they just put "London" for the location, it shouldn't be allowed.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

See, Jess and Lauren have helped. I am shaking still.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:05 (twenty years ago)

There is a woman from the marketing department currently in my shower.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

certain posts on that thread just made me very queasy, thanks mark

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:13 (twenty years ago)

sex in hot tubs is great, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

my gay co-worker said lots of weird stuff about female genitalia.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

but what about the office party?

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

sex in hot tubs can lead to urinary tract infections.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

it wasn't the hot tub part

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

a week after that happened, said marketing girl, who wz very unhappily engaged to someone that she'd known for all of six weeks, sent me a warm goodbye email and quit. three weeks later, she sent me another, much angrier, vagely psychotic note saying that, actually, she didn't remember a thing that happened past 10pm that evening and why did i do what i did (the not-so-subtle subtext being: you raped me). incensed, i replied with a laundry list of every moment that evening where she bagged on what a douche her fiance was and why she couldn't stand the thought of marrying him. she contacted me soon after that to let me know that the second, accusatory email WAS actually her fiancee masquerading as her. i checked back and the email address was different. two weeks later i got a note from him proper saying that i might have to appear as a witness in some court process (!?!) to do with their separation. i told them both to fuck off and never to contact me again. they are now married with two children.

ex-post

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:22 (twenty years ago)

!!!

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:23 (twenty years ago)

i dont fuck people at work christmas parties anymore.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

It was the Juicy lucy part that got me.

x-post with mark's mad revelations.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

anna, have i ever told you that one of things i love most about you is that you don't let the fact that you're prone to disgusting filthy hangovers make one iota of difference in the amount of booze you consume?

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

seriously anna, if you can find anywhere to get a stinking hot sauna, that followed by about a litre and a half of mineral water is about the best hangover cure in the world

― sfx, Friday, 16 December 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

tough life, mark

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

it was, for a while! i had no idea what the guy looked like. all i knew was that he was crazy and that he knew who i was. when she woke up that morning she had 37 missed calls on her phone.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

Possibly Lauren if I didn't drink the amount I did I wouldn't get the evil things, but thank you for your supportive words in my time of need.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:28 (twenty years ago)

DNA test.

― snowkitten (g-kit), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

joint = best hangover cure ever

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

mark, was it an ilxor's wife? you can tell us.

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

hangover = best excuse for a joint ever.

― snowkitten (g-kit), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

i dont fuck people at work christmas parties anymore.

-- mark p

you mean now that it's no longer the work christmas party?

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

vicodin, my friend.

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

ilx: corny by the pound

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

people from work, period. that was my personal trapped in the closet.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

they call mark big man, because he's blessed

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

i dont fuck people at work christmas parties anymore.
-- mark p

this makes it sound like every one before this resolution was like a no-holds-barred orgy

― sfx, Friday, 16 December 2005 16:42 (twenty years ago)

37 missed calls! blimey

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:50 (twenty years ago)

"someone's popular"

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

Four years ago, my wife and I (then not even dating yet) got slutty and left what was to become, for this company, the last christmas party where they serve hard liquor. Various highlights include

- A female partner devolving into a crying mess at some point when a (much) younger employee wouldn't go home and have sex with her.
- A co-worker running around with a cafeteria tray and smacking partners, secretaries and hotel staff on the ass for a full 30 mins until we could wrestle him to the ground.
- A high-ranking administrative staff member threatening to blow up the building if the hotel staff didn't give him the key to the liquor closet - this was December of 2001. In DC.
- Above reference getting with my wife - The ONE and ONLY time I have ever exercised game. I was dead set on not going home alone that night. I had met her a few nights earlier, found her cute, and, at one point in the evening after more than a few gin and tonics, I say to her accross the room "Do you wanna get outta here?" She nodded yes immediately, and the rest is history. Awesome.

This year, different and much smaller company, I went to a very very nice lunch, got a generous bonus (unexpected, and I am a part-time employee - not big, but still), and then went back to studying.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

Next Wednesday, from 1-3 in the afternoon; we are, I believe required to either bring a potluck dish or pitch in for a "party platter." No booze: it is not permitted on the premsies. My boss still fondly remembers that time 15 years ago after a particulary arduous year, the employess tilled champagne in the garden. Most people won't even be able to stay for that long because their presence will be required by lovely patrons at the desks.

Today, I received a macrame bookmark as a Christmas present from the upstairs office. I guess that means no bonus.

At least there is no Secret Santa.

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 17 December 2005 02:47 (twenty years ago)

I missed my office party for a very virtuous reason: I had to go help my mommy put up her Christmas decorations, aww.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Saturday, 17 December 2005 03:08 (twenty years ago)

Missed my office party due to the office assistant/bimbo's stupidity. She gave me a memo with all the party details..time/date/location, etc. that was TWO YEARS OLD. Cunt.

Oh well.

― van igloo (van smack), Saturday, 17 December 2005 03:56 (twenty years ago)

OH NO I THINK I MAY HAVE RUINED MY LIFE (but i can't remember what i did!!!)

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Saturday, 17 December 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

our secondee trainee got kicked out the pub for falling asleep

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 17 December 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

maybe... maybe i was just being adorable and not just a fucked up drunked up twat...

Things I vaguely remember:
- standing next to the CEO at the urinal and having some kind of weird conversation

- Being hit on by a 35 year old woman from sales

- enthusing rather violently to my boss about how much I like ELO and nearly crying when the DJ cut off "Mr Blue Sky" halfway through.

- going up to ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE in my company (even people I didn't know) and introducing myself.

there were also a lot of naughty substances involved, ones I have never done and don't think I ever want to do again flying around the toilet stalls. Hopefully everyone else was in as bad a state as I was, but it would have been a bit of a feat.

I really have a sinking feeling I may have made the royalist prat of myself, but how to know!?

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Saturday, 17 December 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

where do you work?!

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 17 December 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

- going up to ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE in my company (even people I didn't know) and introducing myself.

Surely introducing yourself to peolpe you did know would be more odd?

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 17 December 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

I guess. Cozen, it's an ISP. I recently got promoted to a smaller quieter department with a more mature and decent breed of staff, so the onus was on me to behave myself to a certain degree. Doesn't help when all my mates in the sales centre were off their trolleys.

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Saturday, 17 December 2005 13:44 (twenty years ago)

A co-worker running around with a cafeteria tray and smacking partners, secretaries and hotel staff on the ass for a full 30 mins until we could wrestle him to the ground.
- A high-ranking administrative staff member threatening to blow up the building if the hotel staff didn't give him the key to the liquor closet - this was December of 2001. In DC.

Sounds like parties at my previous job.. DC as well.. in which the marketing department would have a blast and dance like crazy and the editors would get extremely neurotic and drink a lot. I had to tell one of the VPs that no, in fact, he was not going to beat the crap out of "that guy" (the president of the company), a manager started telling me about her alcoholic husband, and a senior reporter I'd never met before explained how he'd started once a fire in his office and had to piss all over his computer to put it out.

Current job, we got a morning of speechifying, a decent enough lunch at a seafood place by the waterfront, and the afternoon off. Drink tickets handed out for lunch = you got one drink. (I was pretty annoyed about this, not that I wanted a lot to drink esp. at lunch, but just.. sheesh, we are all adults, can we not do tacky things like that!)

― dar1a g (daria g), Saturday, 17 December 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

i am still reeling from shock. I'm dreading they pull me into HR tomorrow. Can they do that? I mean, it's a christmas party for goodness sake!

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Sunday, 18 December 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

Don't worry about it. My first office holiday party I became quite taken with the concept of "open bar" and ended up curled up around one of the executive toilets, had to be carried out, etc. Not a word was said to me afterwards, although the party switched to cookies and punch the next year.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

i have never been to an office christmas party. i never will

― terry lennox. (gareth), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:38 (twenty years ago)

blah blah blah

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

Mine is on Tuesday and has an 80s icons theme. I am going as Inspector Gadget. With any luck, the music will be non-stop Frankie and the Pet Shop Boys. Last time I went out properly with my workmates I woke up in bed with four of them and no recollection of how I got there.

It goes without saying that I intend to make it next week's Best Night Of My Life.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

disingeneous

― terry lennox. (gareth), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

Three years ago a workmate indulged in cocaine and whisky-induced vomiting at the dinner table, two seats down from our Chairman.

Two years ago I projectile vomited on a girl I'd convinced myself I was in love with. Then I refused to pay a cab driver the fare from Fulham to Blackheath (I still feel guilty about this).

Last year was a bit boring.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

i want to die.

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Sunday, 18 December 2005 19:38 (twenty years ago)

I didn't go this year, I don't even know half the people I work with plus can't really handle many nights out at the moment. I find it just a recipe for embarassment when you don't know people and are expected to have fun. If I was single and not sick I might have gone! That sounds kind of grandad but there you go.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 18 December 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

No office, no party. Maybe I could crash some other workplace's party.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 18 December 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

Mine's tomorrow after work. I wish it wasn't so late in the year: Ive still an awful lot of shopping to get done and I need to find a half decent dress to wear. Also, I have to get a secret santa for the damn senior NOC engineer, who is quite literally the Comic Book Guy. I did in fact consider getting him a Comic Book Guy doll, but that may be somewhat rude.

Idont want to go, because our company is smallish and it's mostly middleaged men who'll get drunk, and boring PA women; all the cool guys are in the NOC with me and half of em will be on shift and cant go anyway.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 18 December 2005 21:03 (twenty years ago)

My section party is in half an hour. We are going to a cafe for lunch and then for a nice walk in the bush. Because that's the kind of organisation we are. But there will be drinks and food and secret santas and everyone gets along lovely so I am looking forward to it.

The overall regional party was about a month ago and consisted of a meeting thingy in the morning and a barbeque at a local stately homestead. No drinks at all, whereas last year they had that one free ticket thing. It's a slippery slope.

― isadora (isadora), Sunday, 18 December 2005 22:41 (twenty years ago)

My last company, in the old days, was notoriously crazy with its parties, much like doglatin's ISP above with the dodgy substances in loos and whatnot. What is it about IT and sales guys? I guess everyone worked so hard/so much shift work all year (helpdesks are stressful) that we'd go completely nuts at the end of it.

Ah memories.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 18 December 2005 22:47 (twenty years ago)

Mine had breakdancers. And cheerleaders.

― Jeff-Beetle (Jeff), Sunday, 18 December 2005 22:51 (twenty years ago)

I woke up on Wimbledon station. I don't live in Wimbledon, so not quite sure what happened there.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 19 December 2005 06:08 (twenty years ago)

Did you, at some point in the evening, accidentally get on a tram?

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 19 December 2005 07:30 (twenty years ago)

my office didnt have a holiday party, but it seems like i went to everyone else's party this december, which meant 2 weeks of free liquor, which means i need a little detox now.

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 19 December 2005 07:39 (twenty years ago)

Did you, at some point in the evening, accidentally get on a tram?

Not that I recall. But I don't recall very much at all after about 10pm. Life's little mysteries, eh?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 19 December 2005 07:56 (twenty years ago)

no one has said anything so far this morning.

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Monday, 19 December 2005 10:52 (twenty years ago)

And they wont, if any ISP Ive ever worked at can be relied on DL ;) Seriously, IT sales guys are nuts.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 December 2005 10:54 (twenty years ago)

btw (total derail aside sorry sorry) I have some of your tefosav stuff on a cd from modex - its good!

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 December 2005 10:54 (twenty years ago)

the idea of doing drugs with my coworkers... boggling.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 19 December 2005 10:56 (twenty years ago)

Dog Latin - I survived. Even after the shameless hiiting on (boy in question is sweetly amused). But I recognise the fear, that's why I started this thread.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 19 December 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

Didn't bother me but then, I worked with ppl I was friends with before the job - IRC meant everyone ended up working at the same damn ISP at one point. It was pretty hilarious. We all went clubbing after shifts.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 December 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

tomorrow

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 19 December 2005 11:00 (twenty years ago)

We started drinking in the office at 11am, when I was presented with my leaving gifts (watch, perfume, chocolates, wine) and a lukewarm speech was made by the head of department. I was complimented on jeans-tucked-into-boots.

To a hotel at midday. Some people from the Daily Record were at the next table and they won the quiz. The food was nouveau: one sprout. Half of the tables cleared immediately after the food. Did they really have to go back to the office? We stayed and danced in a big circle to Lips Inc, stamped our feet to the Proclaimers and ran off when Shania Twain came on. "You're so drunk!" somebody said. I'd had four glasses of wine, enough to turn me back into my self (rather than work self), but I wasn't so drunk.

On to Wetherspoons, where I began on the gin. Kenny from IT joined us. I left to join the people I'll be working with in January at the campus bar. Two steps from the door, my heel snapped. The barman helped me tape it back together. At some point we transferred to the staff club and while we were walking there one of my future colleagues told me several times in a highly creepy way that I was dead sexy and had an incredible arse (this has not led me to rate it any higher, however).

It all goes fuzzy around now. I remember telling an Aussie with big hair not to knock Pop and he confessed to owning To The Extreme. At 10pm I stopped drinking and went to ~~sleep through~~ see King Kong. Woke up, then got annoyed at the length of the film, Cineworld's nacho cheese and my by now extremely uncomfortable tight jeans. Taxi to boyfriend's house, collapse.

No hangover the next day. The red wine/gin combo works for me every time.

― Mï¿½dchen (Madchen), Monday, 19 December 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

.... and then i'm off to some TOWNIE CLUB, wherein i hope to be hit on shamelessly indeed.
-- ken c (pykachu10...), December 16th, 2005 1:05 PM. (ken c) (later)

heh!

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 19 December 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

I'm starting drinking in about 10 minutes. I smell ruin.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 19 December 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

I woke up on Wimbledon station. I don't live in Wimbledon, so not quite sure what happened there.
-- Hello Sunshine (fiver_the_bunn...), December 19th, 2005.

You woke up ON the station?

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Monday, 19 December 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

Ah, Wimbledon station. I could tell many a tale about that place*

It's my office party today. I'm never good at sussing out the level of simmering sexual tension, professional jealousy or drug addiction, so I imagine it'll be fairly banal. I wonder if I'll be proved wrong?

KEN - DID YOU PULL????

*being mugged, and accidentally stumbling upon some guy wanking another guy off. They're not very good tales.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 19 December 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

Oh yeah, "accidentally stumbling upon". I don't think waiting for hours in the gents toilets counts as an accident.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Monday, 19 December 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

You seem to have an uncanny knowledge of the event in question, James...

I almost wrote "coming across" but cottagetastic troilism isn't my scene (though today is Xmas office party day, so who knows).

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 19 December 2005 12:10 (twenty years ago)

KEN - DID YOU PULL????

well, I was at the bar with a dude from work and it may have been drunken misunderstanding, but his hand kept being in the region of MY ASS and I thought he was just drunk and losing his balance and didn't want to make a hassle of it. THEN when I got the drinks I was looking down and that hand had shifted and it was going towards the CROTCH region! and i was like "woah!" and i think he said "can i do that?" and i said "err no don't do that". and that was it and he went home soon afters.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 19 December 2005 12:18 (twenty years ago)

You put an 'h' instead of a 'w' in that last bit. "...and that was it and we went home soon afters"

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Monday, 19 December 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

This year we went to an overpriced Italian restaurant where I think I drunkenly announced that I had a job interview on Monday and hence would be leaving this shitty place. Sadly, I didn't get the job. Nobody has said anything though.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 19 December 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

Hmm, ours was last Thursday and was an afternoon thing of finger foods cooked up by many different library folks -- and the food was all pretty great!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 19 December 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

Ned, let's not beat around the bush - did you assfuck anyone while high on PCP?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 19 December 2005 12:37 (twenty years ago)

Archel, that's exactly the sort of thing I would do! Mine is on Thursday. Thankfully I have Friday off then we're closed right over Christmas and New Year so if I make a tit of myself (quite likely, since booze is involved) then I don't have to face anyone for a fortnight, by which time they may well have forgotten.

Last time I went out with people from work I ended up getting punched in the face by a colleague who was a bit upset that my friend didn't fancy her (somehow this was my fault). I hope not to have a repeat of that incident.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 19 December 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

Further investigations reveal that I was supposed to be making my way to a late bar in Paddington, but clearly got on a district line train going in the opposite direction by mistake. I assume I then got off a Wimbledon and, feeling a little confused, sat down to ponder what to do, only to fall asleep and be woken up by the sound of the last train of the night trundling off up the tracks.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 19 December 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

btw (total derail aside sorry sorry) I have some of your tefosav stuff on a cd from modex - its good!

ace! I totally forgot you knew Modex!

It turns out I was comparatively well behaved, considering all things. Some guys made a total state of the limo they'd hired out to get to the do and the limo company had been recommended to them by the head of sales, who's friend owned it. They had to pay up.

I had been wondering if I'd pissed off the head of marketing by trying to blather rubbish at him but it turned out he probably was just wary of sales-y people as one of my colleagues had apparently laid right into him about I don't know what. Said colleague phoned in sick today and is likely to be in a world of trouble.
I think I tried to hit on this quite pretty girl who I hadn't met and who I found out today basically runs an entire section of the company hahaha! Luckily she doesn't work in the same building as I do.

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Monday, 19 December 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

has madchen been reading brett easton ellis?

― sunny successor (katharine), Monday, 19 December 2005 16:40 (twenty years ago)

The 35-year old senior saleswoman who was really obviously trying to pull me (her chat-up line was "sorry Charlie, is it really really obvious that I'm trying to pull you?"), was strikingly non-sheepish this morning. I have teh fear!

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Monday, 19 December 2005 16:40 (twenty years ago)

Hey come on 35 isnt that old ;P

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:27 (twenty years ago)

http://www.deezteez.com/nss-folder/images/gotmilf-deez.gif

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:28 (twenty years ago)

Bathe her and bring her to me!

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:33 (twenty years ago)

no, but a 12 year old in a 35 year old's body (as in this case) would be practically pedophillia.

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:33 (twenty years ago)

here's the chick at the office whose fake tits have prompted everybody to google her name lookng for evidence of her presumed former employment on the pole:
ihttp://mishami.image.pbase.com/g3/42/208742/2/53667094.IMG_9462a.jpg

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:43 (twenty years ago)

ours was this afternoon at "the old spaghetti factory."

No booze, but we got food and a nice card with an unsuspected gift inside.

hoorah.

― kingfish holiday travesty (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 19 December 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

how's their meat sauce holding up?

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Monday, 19 December 2005 23:12 (twenty years ago)

Enh. It's exactly as good as one would think it should be.

― kingfish holiday travesty (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 19 December 2005 23:16 (twenty years ago)

During this mornings secret santa gifts, one poor woman was given a really saucy pink bra (wtf!) and someone got this plastic box shaped like a Koran that plays the call to prayer when you press a button! Haha. I work with crazypeople.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 December 2005 23:26 (twenty years ago)

I brought 'Lil Smokies in BBQ sauce in crockpot! They were the hit of the party!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 19 December 2005 23:29 (twenty years ago)

aw yeah, Lil' Smokies!

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Monday, 19 December 2005 23:30 (twenty years ago)

I have been volunteering for a world-renowned organization which shall remain nameless. Last night was their xmas do, wherein I managed to quaff a lot of free booze, chat with the Director (about knitting, I think!), dance around to "Don't Stop Me Now!" with everyone else, and somehow get my ankle injured by some dancing drunk woman. The party ended at 9 and by then the same woman had left an enormous vomit puddle in the grand entrance, and was slumped over in a wheelchair on the front steps, apparently still being sick.

None of this is particularly scandalous, but I still sort've can't believe I was talking to the director, especially while on my 3rd glass of wine. The party only lasted a few hours but it was way more raucous than I expected.

― sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 13:13 (twenty years ago)

it must be horrible to be a company director at a works do.

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

either that, or really funny!

― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

I do remember an ex-flatmate of mine coming home early from a work do because he knew he would probably make a tit of himself within the hour and didn't want to do it in front of people he managed. So we sat up drinking champagne (he was bribing me, I was going to bed) until a stupid time instead.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

Mine was awesome! Proper 80s playlist all night, I won the prize for the best costume (long grey coat, hat with actual flashing battery-powered propeller, two stuffed gloves on the end of slinkies for extendable arms). I was later filthily propositioned by the new girl, dressed as Jessica Rabbit "are they the only part that's extendable?"

This later led to me later drunkenly using the phrase "go go gadget penis" in front of my boss. Shudder. I drank an enormous amount of free champagne and don't remember the last bit of the party at all. Now I have mild fear.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 13:52 (twenty years ago)

'go go gadget penis' is my nu catchphrase.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 14:13 (twenty years ago)

And "I have mild fear" shall be mine!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

fifteen years pass...

Can't believe this thread hasn't been revived. Perhaps a similar one has?

"I have a mild fear" has taken on a new meaning.

― djh, Thursday, 2 December 2021 23:03 (four years ago)

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