I HATE THE MANDRILL!

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Goddamn that blue-faced son of a betch the mandrill! It is so ugly that I hate it! I want it to become extinct immedately! Are there any objections? What animals do you wish were extinct?

http://www.whozoo.org/Intro98/shanford/shanford2.htm

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:04 (twenty years ago)

humans

― vahid (vahid), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:06 (twenty years ago)

besides them!

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:08 (twenty years ago)

now, now, hanle y, what have mandrills ever done to you?

― kingfish pibb Xtra (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:22 (twenty years ago)

I saw one at the BOston zoo and it raged at me with great fury, trying to intimidate me through the glass. It worked! I wished I had an UZI so I could blow his blue-faced-ass away.

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:24 (twenty years ago)

― vahid (vahid), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:26 (twenty years ago)

It doesn't say anything abou tnot Uziing the animals but maybe that falls under "vex"

http://www.thejump.net/wild-hogs/1-wild-hog-picture-1/hog-2.htm

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:28 (twenty years ago)

there is a sign in the petting zoo on the rabbit hutch. it says

"bunnies can get grumpy, and grumpy bunnies bite"

i nominate GRUMPY BUNNIES

― vahid (vahid), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:28 (twenty years ago)

Here here. I wonder what is the world's most annoying animal?

Let us build our new Loathesome Species list

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:30 (twenty years ago)

"bullyrag"?

― kingfish pibb Xtra (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 8 January 2006 08:46 (twenty years ago)

I think that means to drape a rag over an animals face which has on it a picture of Teddy Rosevelt. They hat e that

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 09:03 (twenty years ago)

but Mango Meat is the shit!

― mucho, Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:21 (twenty years ago)

I nominate lesser bushbaby for having one of the most ridiculous species names:

ihttp://primatecenter.duke.edu/animals/lesserbushbaby/general.jpg

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:43 (twenty years ago)

http://primatecenter.duke.edu/animals/lesserbushbaby/general.jpg

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:43 (twenty years ago)

Red ruffed lemur, on the other hand, looks pretty damn cool:

http://primatecenter.duke.edu/animals/redruffed/general.jpg

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:45 (twenty years ago)

"You talking to me, kid? Step back, kid, step back!"

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:46 (twenty years ago)

Agreed, Tuomas. I mean really, it might as well be named "The Unimportant Drip". In a related questionable naming, the SUGAR GLIDER

http://www.skinhorse.net/gliders/taming.html they sound like stupid pets too!

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:48 (twenty years ago)

"lesser" Agreed, Tuomas. I mean really, it might as well be named "The Unimportant Drip". In a related questionable naming, the SUGAR GLIDER

http://www.skinhorse.net/gliders/taming.html they sound like stupid pets too!

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:48 (twenty years ago)

that lemur seems to have scottish mutton-cops!

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:49 (twenty years ago)

B-b-but they're so cute!

http://sandmanssugargliders.com/images/blondeincup.jpg

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:52 (twenty years ago)

they produce foul odors to mark their territory and they intimidate kittens and they enjoy watching "Ellen"!

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:53 (twenty years ago)

http://www.animalliberationfront.com/News/AnimalPhotos/Animals_31-40/32Misc.htm

this page seems somehow exploitative in a pronografic way

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 10:58 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, some of those are way too much "aww, isn't it cute", and I'm an old animal rights activist myself. I like this one though:

http://www.animalliberationfront.com/News/AnimalPhotos/Animals_31-40/pretendgirafflion.jpg

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 8 January 2006 11:05 (twenty years ago)

That lion appears to be savoring the irony. I wonder if after this was taken the lion promptly ate the giraffe.

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 11:13 (twenty years ago)

Pandas? Live or Die?

― GET EQUIPPED WITH BUBBLE LEAD (ex machina), Sunday, 8 January 2006 13:05 (twenty years ago)

Those are just severed heads on poles. The zoo erected that cardboard cutout to disguise its lion-and-giraffe-sandwich-eating proclivities.

― Vic Fluro (Vic Fluro), Sunday, 8 January 2006 13:33 (twenty years ago)

Fuck you, man! Mandrill is outstanding.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Sunday, 8 January 2006 14:52 (twenty years ago)

Well if they will keep trying to take over the world and kill Daredevil, they can expect to be hated...

http://www.norse-man.net/Marvel/Char-M/Mandrill.jpg

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 8 January 2006 15:15 (twenty years ago)

I wish Spark Mandrill were extinct. That dude's killed my Megaman too many times.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 8 January 2006 16:49 (twenty years ago)

Curtis OTM.

― melton mowbray (adr), Sunday, 8 January 2006 16:50 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha - comic book villians are so amuseing. You can make a ocmic book villian abou tanything. I mean, I can imagine "Carrot Man" somehow being evil - the best ones were form the Twinkies ads

http://www.seanbaby.com/hostess.htm

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 20:07 (twenty years ago)

There was the Flaming Carrot, but he was a hero rather than a villain.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 8 January 2006 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Calm yourself, please. Surely what needs to happen here is that YOU and THE MANDRILL simply need to mediate your differences in an adult and responsible manner. Then it's a win-win situation all the way around! Wouldn't that be nice?

― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 8 January 2006 20:31 (twenty years ago)

How is mandrill not a euphamism for penis?

― spinning, Sunday, 8 January 2006 20:33 (twenty years ago)

Mandrill "Get on your knees insolent fool! I will dominate you! Present your ass submissively!"
Me " Why are you so overbearing! Can't we work out our problems? You think your bluenose of hapiness means anything to me!"
Mandrill (attacks and savages me)

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 21:20 (twenty years ago)

this has got to be the most absurd villian of all time . Kwirkagard

http://www.seanbaby.com/hostess/ironman3.htm

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 8 January 2006 21:21 (twenty years ago)

ha, that's great. My vote for Iron Man's lamest opponent ever: Squirrel Girl.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 8 January 2006 21:33 (twenty years ago)

Kwirkegard!

― latebloomer: Let's just say I do for bullshit what Stonehenge did for Rocks (lat, Sunday, 8 January 2006 22:16 (twenty years ago)

Existential depression ray! "Puny humans are about to learn the sad truth about life."! This has gotta be the best villain ever! And it's kinda ironic how the joy of living can only be found through consumerism and sugary snacks. Perfect allegory for capitalism, innit?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 8 January 2006 22:40 (twenty years ago)

Iron Man is surely the only person in the world who calls NYC "fun city"?

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Monday, 9 January 2006 00:19 (twenty years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf300/f387/f38766o6acv.jpg

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Monday, 9 January 2006 00:20 (twenty years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd400/d433/d43396x9ox6.jpg

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Monday, 9 January 2006 00:21 (twenty years ago)

I just realized - Mandrill = Man+drill! Man phallus! There must be also a monkey named a Girlhole.

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Monday, 9 January 2006 05:22 (twenty years ago)

two weeks pass...

YOU DIDNT THINK I WAS THROUGH WITH THIS THREAD DID YOU ! THE HATRED CONTINUES!!!!!!!!!!

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Friday, 27 January 2006 05:46 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf400/f492/f49254cf3zd.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 27 January 2006 05:55 (twenty years ago)

AAAIIIGHGHG!!!!!!!!

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Friday, 27 January 2006 05:59 (twenty years ago)

i think MANDEE should buy a mandrill.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 27 January 2006 06:33 (twenty years ago)

mandrills have strange asses

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 27 January 2006 06:54 (twenty years ago)

even for monkeys

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 27 January 2006 06:55 (twenty years ago)

MOnkey asses in general are an afront to creation. Let's make weird-assed monkeys all be extinct or genetically engineer them to have cat-asses. Also, female chimps "swellings" - icky!

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Friday, 27 January 2006 07:00 (twenty years ago)

don't hate her, she blows
http://www.barbara-mandrell.com/pic4.asp

― lily of leeds, Friday, 27 January 2006 07:22 (twenty years ago)

MOnkey asses in general are an afront to creation. Let's make weird-assed monkeys all be extinct or genetically engineer them to have cat-asses.

http://www.philgomes.com/blog/uploaded_images/5ass-742967.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 27 January 2006 15:09 (twenty years ago)

My God - why...

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 28 January 2006 04:56 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.81x.com/Images/Objects/Animals%20Insects/Funny/monkey.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 28 January 2006 05:26 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/steve_bell/2004/05/06/bell512.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 28 January 2006 05:27 (twenty years ago)

Bush is indeed a chimp-
http://www.bushorchimp.com/

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 28 January 2006 05:32 (twenty years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf400/f492/f49254cf3zd.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 28 January 2006 11:08 (twenty years ago)

God I hate them

http://www.geometer.org/beginner/mandrill.jpg

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 28 January 2006 11:13 (twenty years ago)

I cannot understand how you can hate such a clearly bitchin' animal

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Saturday, 28 January 2006 12:44 (twenty years ago)

http://www.themanwhofellasleep.com/marmoset.jpg

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 28 January 2006 22:33 (twenty years ago)

don't be fooled by their charisama. they eat head

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 29 January 2006 06:07 (twenty years ago)

http://askforjanice.com/photos/chknbr1.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 29 January 2006 08:15 (twenty years ago)

I love chicken bears

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 29 January 2006 09:09 (twenty years ago)

I would prefer being eaten by a mandrill to almost any other kind of death and I hope someone films the whole thing

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Sunday, 29 January 2006 13:00 (twenty years ago)

They would make a good attack pet

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 29 January 2006 16:46 (twenty years ago)

http://www.orlyowl.com/combo.gif

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 30 January 2006 03:38 (twenty years ago)

cute!!!!!!

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Monday, 30 January 2006 08:21 (twenty years ago)

"they eat head"

― Dan (OH NOES) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 January 2006 21:33 (twenty years ago)

That will be quite enough Mr. Perry! DOn't make me turn you into a castrati - I have the psychic ability to explode balls!

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Monday, 30 January 2006 21:49 (twenty years ago)

mike, do you think i'm SEXAY?!?!?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 03:44 (twenty years ago)

let's try that again ...

mike, do you think i'm SEXAY?!?!?!?

http://www.geometer.org/beginner/mandrill.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 03:45 (twenty years ago)

your facelooks lieka vegetable

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 04:40 (twenty years ago)

http://www.whozoo.org/Intro98/shanford/MandrillsG_112003_912C.JPG

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 17:10 (twenty years ago)

GO TO HELL YOU MUTHERFOUKERS!!!!!!!!!

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 06:12 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

http://www.photoi.org/gallery/data/502/881Bold_n_Beautiful_Mandrill-med.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 03:56 (twenty years ago)

http://www.tapirback.com/tapirgal/gifts/friends/primate/mandrill-plastic-189.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 11 March 2006 05:29 (twenty years ago)

three months pass...

MANDRILLS _ ATTACK THE CROAL SNAKES!

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Sunday, 25 June 2006 03:45 (nineteen years ago)

haha i totally forgot about the "world of pain" marmoset!

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 25 June 2006 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

"Mandrills have been protected under British law since Queen Elizabeth I gave birth to a baby resembling one by mistake.'

― chap who would dare to be a nerd, not a geek (chap), Sunday, 25 June 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

four months pass...

even they have a softer side

http://www.sandiegozoo.org/animalbytes/images/mandrill_inset_baby.jpg

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 18:11 (nineteen years ago)

HITLER LOVED DOGS. AND STALIN LOVED CHILDREN.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 18:18 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.yumbrad.com/extra/pics/mandrill.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

bet hanle y can't hate these guys

http://myspace-792.vo.llnwd.net/00039/29/70/39260792_l.jpg

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 10 November 2006 03:34 (nineteen years ago)

the one on the left is dreaming of tiny bananas.

― A Giant Mechanical Ant (The Giant Mechanical Ant), Friday, 10 November 2006 03:53 (nineteen years ago)

weird enough i saw some tiny banana plants for sale at petsmart in one of their aquarium tanks

― latebloomer and his 'Cyborg Companion', Hacker (latebloomer), Friday, 10 November 2006 04:52 (nineteen years ago)

i should hook the little dude up

― latebloomer and his 'Cyborg Companion', Hacker (latebloomer), Friday, 10 November 2006 04:53 (nineteen years ago)

I'm sure the mandrills are all, like, really cut up about this thread.

I reckon mandrills are cool as fuck.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 10 November 2006 05:00 (nineteen years ago)

The one on the left actually looks like he's practicing the many faces of Carlos Santana.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 10 November 2006 22:22 (nineteen years ago)

I have decided the cassowary is the mandrill of the BIRD world. Fucking asshole birds they are.

http://www.worldwildlife.org/expeditions/newguinea/images/cassowary.jpg

― Abbott (Abbott), Friday, 10 November 2006 22:56 (nineteen years ago)

cassowaries are the birds with the poison spike on their feet, right?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:00 (nineteen years ago)

from wikipedia:

A cassowary's three-toed feet have sharp claws; the dagger-like middle claw is 120 mm (5 inches) long. This claw is particularly dangerous since the Cassowary can use it to kill an enemy, disemboweling it with a single kick.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:01 (nineteen years ago)

ASSHOLES, see?

― Abbott (Abbott), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:03 (nineteen years ago)

actually, they sound kinda ... KEWL.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:05 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.cassowary.com/brcass.jpg

― Abbott (Abbott), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:09 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.coastalpoodlerescue.org/newsevents/eventpix/PinkPoodle.jpg

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:28 (nineteen years ago)

VAHID! I have that poster! At the bottom, it says "by the order of San Diego Zoo and San Diego Wild Animal Park" and at some point of my childhood I memorized the whole thing. Super trippy to see it here.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 10 November 2006 23:31 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

FITE!!

http://www.unfamiliar-image.co.uk/photos/cassowary.jpg

vs.

http://www.cogsci.indiana.edu/farg/harry/bio/zoo/mandrill.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 January 2007 03:19 (nineteen years ago)

Well, a cassowary has a much bigger penis, I'll tell you. IN FACT, ratites (ostriches, emus, rheas, cassowaries and kiwis) ARE the only birds with PENISES instead of cloacas. And they're long and weird. I have not seen the scary CASSOWARY dick up close but my parents raised ostriches, emus and rheas and they have scary, drippy dicks that uncurl from their sheaths.

Cassowaries also have horrid, useless vestigial wings which hide under their long feathers. They are basically like a 10" long creepy human finger with a curved black claw at the end.

See, cassowaries have many disturbing things hiding, many of which are secret even to me, I am certain. Whereas the crummy mandrill constantly draws attention to its obviousness and stupid colored ass with its loud screams for undeserved attention. It is the quiet animals one should be afraid of!

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 4 January 2007 07:32 (nineteen years ago)

I also saw an emu, basically like a crestless cassowary, slash its giant toes into my mom's arm. A giant glob of FAT fell out and it severed her muscles. She bled everywhere and went to the hospital with hilarious suicide-like scars to this day. Now imagine a cassowary doing that: even scarier! They're shady fucks.

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 4 January 2007 07:34 (nineteen years ago)

"Sexing is easiest when the cassowary is young and examination physically practicable. There are a number of methods, including eversion of the cloaca as in waterfowl (which is suitable for chicks up to two weeks old), or the use of endoscopic speculums and optic fibre scopes, but the simplest, quickest and least traumatic for the older bird is direct palpation of the penis. The bird should be forced to the ground so it is in a crouching position with both feet underneath the body. One person, at least, will be needed to keep the bird in this stance while another, using a lubricated surgical glove, can then try to explore, after the spasms have ceased, into the cloacal region for the presence of a penis or tiny clitoris. Sexually mature male cassowaries (and emus) can be easily identified using this method because the penis is large, but immatures and out of condition birds can lead to confusion. Feeding Valium tablets inserted into grapes or other soft fruit two hours before the examination will minimise the bird's panic and outrage."

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 4 January 2007 07:36 (nineteen years ago)

Hmm, I was wrong, only 3% of birds have penises but they are not exclusive to ratites:

"Bigger birds, including ducks, geese, ostriches, and swans continue to have a penis. The Australian blue duck, for example, has a penis so large that when it finishes copulating the bird has to turn on its back and stuff its penis back into its cloaca. Montgomerie says, it remains a mystery as to why these types of birds continue to have a penis."

Blah blah blah, sorry for the multiple posts.

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 4 January 2007 07:39 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.ccicards.com/graphics/thankyou-mandrill-mind-lg.jpg http://www.sustainablework.com/offline3/stork160b.JPG

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 4 January 2007 07:52 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.ccicards.com/graphics/thankyou-mandrill-mind-lg.jpg http://www.sustainablework.com/offline3/stork160b.JPG

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 4 January 2007 07:53 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

the baboon hates himself

― Beth Parker, Wednesday, 7 March 2007 23:56 (nineteen years ago)

I think I just hate all monkeys except orangutangs

We are the champoin mokeys! We have risen above! We win! Go to hell monkeys, you will never live in space like us!!!

― Latham Green, Thursday, 8 March 2007 01:15 (nineteen years ago)

five months pass...

http://www.african-safari-pictures.com/image-files/mandrill-baboon.jpg

― Eisbaer, Sunday, 19 August 2007 17:04 (eighteen years ago)

three years pass...

don't be fooled by their charisama. they eat head

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Sunday, January 29, 2006 1:07 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark

― Poontang Clan Ain't Nothin' ta ... (Eisbaer), Monday, 14 February 2011 10:00 (fifteen years ago)

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