And now I would like to prove to you that Astrology is a real science, for if i'tweren't how could it be so fucking accurate? (note: I am not talking about horoscopes foretelling the future by your s

I read this description of the Scorpio on some astrology site the other day. I must say that yes, I do indeed fit one of those descriptions nearly every time I speak! Spooky!

I mean, assuming that this does give me a 'fucking accurate' picture of myself, how does it work? What is at play here?

I mean, assuming that this does give me a 'fucking accurate' picture of myself, how does it work? What is at play here?

That's the weird thing. If it works, it must be based on some principle or something which makes it an accurate system, so it must be scientific rather than just marvelous coincidence, but how does it work? That's something only people who really know what the fuck they're talking about Astrology-wise could tell you. And it works like a motherfucker because I've already done my entire family and 3 of my friends. It was emailed to me by a person that has taken astrology seriously for the last 25 years or so, who wanted me to "check it out for myself." At first, I thought she wrote it and was fucking with me, but she didn't.

hahaha very tricky!

Out of 12 paragraphs, there were only 2 things I thought didn't sound right. One was that I need to exercise to feel healthy. I thought, "I hate exercise." Then, I realized, "well, no shit! That's why I don't feel healthy! When I do exercise I feel great!"

Not very tricky at all! Check it out.

incidentally this was wrong about me on almost every single count.

possibly true.

As such, you seem to enjoy travel and sightseeing and generally being "on-the-go."

travel and sightseeing yes, being on the go NO.
You get quite listless when things around you become static and dull, but your excitement returns whenever you are stimulated by a new idea.

true, i suppose, but then so are all tautologies.

Chatty, inquisitive and quite playful, you enjoy practical jokes and games in general.

I am the exact opposite of chatty.

Your moods change quickly and often -- you are very restless and constantly in motion. You are known for your versatility and adaptability. Your vivaciousness enlivens any social gathering.

couldn't get any wronger

Moon is in 25 Degrees Capricorn.
You are serious and shy and very uncomfortable in those situations where spontaneous and exuberant emotional reactions seem called for.

doesn't this directly contradict the previous bit?

ok i'm bored now and can't bring myself to read the rest. must be my short-attention span!

it must have confused with someone else.

it would be fun to gather a bunch of people together who were born at the same place and time and see if they're all the same person.

No?

Then fuck off, please, and stop abusing words you don't understand.

Perfect.

Pretty much says all that needs be said on the subject really.

"Peace and harmony at all costs is your battle cry."

Actually, I'm well-known for going up to bands after a show and telling
them that they sucked.

"Flashy, but not gaudy, you prefer to dress elegantly."

No, I dress like the feral child from Road Warrior.

Various other results were highly contradictory, depending on which celestial
body's opinion it was...

If you think astrology has some scientific validity, then an interesting
experiment would be to get the data from a set of test subjects (say,
20 people), get their astrological charts, and then show the anonymized results,
and have each subject rate each chart for personal relevance.

If it can't past a blind test, it isn't real.

*hums*

You have never been to Jupiter. You are a happy, optimistic person, unless something has happened to make you sad, or you unless feelings of sadness arise for no discernable reason.

You were born on a Friday. [/i]

AMAZING!

Suspect.

Wendy? Yes, Lisa?

"There's this thing called being so open-minded your brains drop out."

-Richard Dawkins

Mine tells me that I'm an intellectual and that "emotions and emotional people are difficult for you to understand. You are known for being calm, cool, detached and objective.", yet the next bit tells me "Very emotional and sensitive, you have an intuitive understanding of the "vibes" around you". My mother represents security for me, which is completely down to me being born at 11.47 in the morning and nothing at all to do with mothers in general being protective and common symbols of security for the entire human race.

"Feeding others can give you great pleasure" - I am not, and have never been, a feeder. I am apparently easily swayed by flattery, which can't be true otherwise I'd be praising this reading for its accuracy when it called me intelligent earlier on. And "You are known for being calm, cool, detached and objective" and "You are known to be a warm and affectionate person" (I'm known for a lot of things it seems).

(I'm not fishing for people to say "oh, you *are* attractive" - it's more the "charm" that made me laugh.)

In short:

Rising sign: complete rubbish
Sun sign: accurate
Moon sign: mostly accurate
Mercury: accurate, but fairly generic
Venus: about 50%
Mars: about 50%
Jupiter: mostly accurate
Saturn: mostly accurate but generic
Uranus: about 33%
Neptune: not very close at all
Pluto: half of ILX will have got the same result anyway, given the speed it moves at. Appropriately, it is completely generic.
N Node: rubbish.

So, all in all, *I* think it's about 50% accurate for me. Which is hardly a promising result.

N. Node is in 02 Degrees Libra.
You find it very difficult to be comfortable being alone -- you would much prefer to be in an environment where many people are working together toward common goals. Your charming and sincere approach to others assures your popularity -- you have the gift of being able to ease tensions just by your mere presence. You're the perfect "team player" willing to sacrifice your own importance so that the group goal can be accomplished. Be careful, however, not to become overly dependent on your interactions with others -- you have personal private needs that should not be neglected.

A lot of that sounds like me, although there are also quite a few contradictory statements in there.

Clearly my horoscope was wrong - it didn't say "you need to be more paranoid" anywhere.

Of the many things I noticed, that wasn't one of them. Apparently I'm attracted to the outdoors and physical sports and excersize...

Presumably the first line of such a chart should read; "You are unbelievably credulous."

- Although probably quite conservative yourself
- you are attracted to the bizarre, shocking and unusual

THIS IS SO ACCURATE!

The Science Of Either Or

isn't everybody ?

That was another one. Doesn't sound "quite conservative" to me.

The "science" is in knowing people behave this way and working out how to make money from it.

I got this as well, I think you should print this thread off and show it to Anne before ATP so we can discuss "going for a walk".

Rising Sign is in 20 Degrees Sagittarius
You are known for being open, frank, outgoing and honest. At times, though, you are also blunt and quite indiscreet. Others have to learn not to take everything you say personally, because you usually do not mean any harm. You appreciate living your life in a straightforward and simple manner -- you dislike social niceties and consider them to be hindrances to real communication. You have lots and lots of energy and tend to become quite restless if you feel confined. You demand the freedom to do as you choose -- you must be self- directed or you feel trapped and anxious. With your abundant energy, you enjoy being outdoors, and you should be attracted to physical exercise or to those forms of sport which can help you burn off some of that excess energy. Very gregarious, you love to socialize -- your innate enthusiasm livens up any gathering.

Sun is in 15 Degrees Aries.
By nature, you are very energetic and high-spirited. You are fiercely independent -- you must be first in everything you do, and you enjoy taking risks. You are the one who will rush in where angels fear to tread. Quite brilliant at initiating new projects, you are terrible at following them through to completion. You are an enthusiastic leader but you tend to be a reluctant follower. Often you are quick to anger, but you usually recover just as fast, regretting later things you said when you were upset. One of your best traits is that you are simple and direct, blunt and honest -- just be careful you do not hurt others' feelings. Your need to be competitive at all costs may provoke resistance from others, but, as long as you maintain your usual Sunny good humor, this should not prove to be a major problem for you.

Moon is in 23 Degrees Virgo.
You tend to be serious-minded but cheerful for the most part. You need tasks that engage both your mind and your hands. A careful worker, you enjoy making things. You are neat and orderly, and are very concerned with good health habits. Fastidious to the extreme, you cannot tolerate messes and will immediately clean them up. Reserved, shy, and very self-critical, you tend to be very hard on yourself. You usually will go out of your way to be helpful and useful to others. Practical, reliable, efficient and conservative, at times you are a bit of a prude. You are known to lead a simple, uncomplicated, frugal, methodical and unemotional lifestyle. You are devoted and caring to those you love.

Mercury is in 20 Degrees Pisces.
Your ideas and thought processes do not come to you in an orderly, logical fashion. Instead, you think with your feelings or with images produced by your rich and fertile imagination. A very subjective person, your dreams and fantasies are very important to you. You trust your intuitions and tend to reject ideas that are based solely on logic. Very impressionable, you are sensitive to the moods and emotional states of those with whom you come into contact.

Venus is in 28 Degrees Aquarius.
You are a friendly and outgoing individual, but close relationships are difficult for you to maintain due to your fear that they will cause you to lose your freedom. You attract friends and associates who are exciting, different and sometimes a bit odd. You are popular with others and enjoy working within a group toward group goals.

Mars is in 21 Degrees Gemini.
Your energies get turned on quickly whenever anything interests you. But you have a very short attention span and it is difficult for you to complete tasks because something else more interesting always seems to be beckoning. You love to debate and argue, usually in a spirit of friendly disagreement. But watch out that you do not get too overly aggressive or antagonistic or others will be quick to take offense where none may have really been intended. You need to be in constant physical motion -- sports or daily exercise is a must for you if you are to feel fit and healthy.

Jupiter is in 06 Degrees Pisces.
You are at your best when you give of yourself and what you have -- try to avoid being a martyr about it, though. You're a true idealist, but you must learn not to be upset when life does not cooperate with the way you think things should be. Very concerned with spiritual truth and growth, when you practice what you preach, you make an excellent role model for others. You are so devoted to altruistic ventures and concerns that you tire easily at times. It then becomes necessary for you to go off by yourself to recharge your batteries.

Saturn is in 28 Degrees Gemini.
You are such a clear thinker and speaker, with a logical orderly mind, that you are repulsed by abstract, intangible or unorganized thoughts or ideas. But you tend to get uptight about speaking in public because you are afraid to be wrong. Remember that the best way to learn is by making mistakes. Also, you will be so carefully prepared that you probably will not make many mistakes anyway. To be interesting to you, ideas have to be practical and useful.

Uranus is in 26 Degrees Libra.
You, as well as your entire peer group, have a very free, unstable and unconventional approach to relationships and emotional commitments. You will be attracted to experiments in marriage and shared lifestyles. Personal freedom is more important to you than entangling emotional bonds. In the realm of art and aesthetics, you are attracted to the bizarre, shocking and unusual.

Neptune is in 09 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."

Pluto is in 05 Degrees Libra.
For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.

N. Node is in 21 Degrees Sagittarius.
You will probably have many different contacts and acquaintances throughout your life. You're quite gregarious by nature and your natural curiosity about others lets you take the lead in forming new relationships. You'll form close ties with those who have similarly idealistic ideas -- especially those who can stimulate you intellectually in your chosen field of interest. Your enthusiasm for learning new things may also cause you to do quite a bit of traveling. Because you probably will have many wide-ranging interests and concerns, you most likely will have contacts and connections in various parts of the country (or world).

I think things like, "You enjoy sports" are sometimes true, even if you're an anti-jock sports hater. I myself disklike sports in theory, but if I find something I like, I love it and want to play it all the time.

And that "science of either or" post was not an accurate classification in what is going on in the examples cited. Not at all.

(that is a technical IT term, honest)

They all try to express the same complex idea in different terms. That complex idea is that you need to get OUT of The Word. The Word is representation to Mind of "self" and "other" by classification. This is what is called Maya or Illusion. The Logos. In the beginning was the word and the word was with god and the word was god... and god said let there be thus and so... and the word was made flesh... etc.

The question is how do you get OUT of The Word using language? Burroughs and Gysin tried to explain or show, but it's a pretty tricky bugger to wrap your head around.

You are such a clear thinker and speaker, with a logical orderly mind, that you are repulsed by abstract, intangible or unorganized thoughts or ideas.

Your ideas and thought processes do not come to you in an orderly, logical fashion. Instead, you think with your feelings or with images produced by your rich and fertile imagination.

Are these both BALLS ACCURATE? Really?

That is exactly how my mind works. I am always on 6 things at once, but that is because all 6 things "go together" in some creative fashion. Or, even if they don't, eventually things "fit" whether I need to get through 12 or 18. That is in the PRESENT. In the past are all the things I've worked on, are organized in a logical fashion, probably more complete due to the many-angled approach I take toward everything. This is also why it can be sometimes hard for me to finish things, because I follow my muse. This is also why I dislike social convention and feel trapped by traditional thinking. This is also why I get snappy when I ask a specific question and receive an answer to a different question than the one I posed (ie. Q: What Time is it? A: We have to be there by 6. A: ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!)

Nope, just disproved you and will dismiss you just as easily as you dismiss me. Shall we continue this dance?

You are such a clear thinker and speaker, with a logical orderly mind

Your ideas and thought processes do not come to you in an orderly, logical fashion.

If you don't read those as contradictory then the second one is true.

Humans are creative and logical. The two go together. Computers are not creative. Therefore, they do not think. Therefore, they are not logical. They simply work with logic and depend upon the creativity of the user. The user's creativity is inextricably linked to logic.

Sooner the fucking better. Have you tried modafinil?

-- ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, (,,,,,,,,...), February 24th, 2006. (tracklink)

YES!

and going back to the topic of this thread, kinda makes your reading/point redundant

Alternately, get me an astrologer who can examine an impartial account of my personality and tell me when I was born.

Uses the word cunt a lot.
Supports Celtic.
Has two cuet wee laddies.
Likes pies.

You were born in November 1970, in the middle of the afternoon.

xpost to Onimo

Read the above natal chart again! Duh. But, this time, think "nude spock" as you read it.

I really want to post "A Nairn to thread" after this, even though I don't think it's true, just for the roffles.

Signed,
The Trapper Keeper

At first I thought "Wow, this is pretty accurate" until I realised that the statements put forward are the traits that most people see of themselves. It lost it halfway through and started being totally inaccurate, along with contradicting itself: Apparently I love travelling but I hate travelling. These contradictions almost seem to be there as a safety net so that you'll quickly forget the inaccurate one and remember the accurate one.

The thing about it is that most of the traits they talk about could apply to almost anyone. There are no specifics like "You are a smoker", "You have one best friend and a lot of aquaintances", "You hate potatoes". It's all "You have difficulty with relationships" (Doesn't everybody at some point?), "You are wary of people" (Everyone has a paticular level of mistrust) and "You enjoy being honest" (Everyone likes to say and hear that about themselves, true or not).

I'll bet if I make up a birthdate, the results will be about as accurate as the last one.

A picture is worth a thousand words; a very thorough prison!

ha very ha

You are attracted to money, but fear jobs that sound too difficult or time consuming. You enjoy the comforts of home and spending time on the computer. Your willingness to swallow utter bullshit and then try to pass the re-digested turds off on others makes you a valuable employee but an untrustworthy friend.

You have an idea that might be witty in theory if it wasn't already disproven in the words you didn't read wherein the identity of the "viral marketer" was revealed at which point the thread took on an entirely different tone.

(xpost - haha :))

Consequently, people did exactly as you asked them to and found that the results were not accurate, contained essentially contradictory and inapplicable statements and told you about these.

Whereat, you told them they were wrong. This is not exactly a good track record for your presumed "proof".

If, for example, someone told you to mix vinegar and baking soda in equal amounts and that this mixture would turn purple, then red, then yellow, fading slowly to white, and when you followed their instructions you did not get the promised results, what would you think if the person told you that you were wrong and the results were precisely what they predicted? You'd think that person was full of horseshit.

That's the position you are in right now, vis a' vis the people for whom the results were not "astonishingly accurate". Accept this as the truth it is. Berating people for not seeing what you told them to see is foolish.

http://images.wikia.com/memoryalpha/en/images/a/a3/NP_TOS_Attacks.jpg

Sun is in 09 Degrees Capricorn.
Extremely serious and mature, you are capable of accepting responsibilities and do so willingly. Others expect you to be dutiful as a matter of course. You tend to get angry when people get rewards after not having worked anywhere near as hard as you. You are goal-oriented and an achiever by nature -- you're a hard worker and are justifiably proud of the tangible results of your efforts. You tend to have "tunnel-vision" -- this allows you to block out extraneous matters that might distract others and to concentrate totally on the matter at hand. As such, you are the ideal one to manage or administrate any ongoing project and to be practical and efficient at it. You are not a fast worker, but you are quite thorough. You are known for being totally persistent, tenacious and tireless in reaching your goals.

"Totally accurate."

Sorry abt yr lack of peripheral vision, nick.