Tom Cruise: Gay or Straight?

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You heard me. The Cruiser gets miiiighty tetchy whenever the persistent rumours of his possible Gayness-ocity rear up. Those foolhardy enough to point the finger of suspicion get WALOPPED by Cruise-freindly lawyer-power!!!!!!!

The latest news is a video of The Cruiser BEING GAY WITH A MAN is in the possession of one porn stud-muffin who threatens to release it if he doesn't recieve $$$$$$! Thomas Cruise Mapother IV denies it's existence. But! instead of saying "let's see it then" and calling the scamps bluff he's slapped a huge-mungous law-suit on his arse. Hmmmm. Yeeesss. What dooo we make of it all?

SO whaddaya think? Is the Top Gun a secretly practising 'Friend Of Dorothy' orrr is he a straight-guy with possible homophobicicity and / or no time to play your silly is he / isn't he games?

EH?

― DavidM, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As long as "Days of Thunder" keeps playing on Ted Turner owned television properties, I don't give a fuck who Tom Cruise fucks. Cole Trickle is such a classic character.

― Kris, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, the answer could be found out if a dna test was done on Nicole's miscarriage, becaue according to my collective cultural memory, I thought Mrs Cruis 1 ie Mimi Rodgers accused him of being impotent - and read into that what you like.

― Geoff, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Probably Gay. The whole Kidman thing seemed unexplained. PLus hes a cult member (scientology) so he is confused about life and himself. His career and millions are based on being straight so it makes sense he would be closet. COurse he coud swing both ways

― -- Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think a more appropriate question would be, "Tom Cruise: Smug or Smug?"

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Eh. I don't really enjoy many of his movies, but I can't get that bothered about him. If he's closeted, so what?

― Nicole, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Are Top Gun and Days of Thunder the two best movies ever?

― Otis Wheeler, Sunday, 24 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sorry Otis, 'Cocktail' takes that honour

― tarden, Sunday, 24 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sorry Tarden, Risky Business takes that honour.

― AP, Sunday, 24 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cocktail and Risky Business are fanfuckingtastic. I had never seen them before this weekend, and thus I hated Tom "To Answer The Question, Most Likely, Yes" Cruise. But man, do I respect that bastard now. He totally needs to do more movies like that and stop trying to be a "serious actor".

― Ally, Sunday, 24 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

eleven months pass...

Let's remember that Liberace sued a journalist in the 1950s for calling him "light in his loafers" and Liberace actually *won* the lawsuit. That poor journalist. He deserves a refund.

― Thierry Lafalaise, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

why, was he heavy in his loafers?

― mark s, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought he called him 'fruit flavoured'

― Richard Jones, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cocktail? Risky Business? I think the real answer to this question is Losin' It.

― Vinnie, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Richard: He also referred to him as "sniggering," "winking," and a number of other things that don't mean much by themselves, but mean much, much more together.

― Christine "Green Leafy" Indigo, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Let's remember that Liberace sued a journalist in the 1950s for calling him "light in his loafers" and Liberace actually *won* the lawsuit. That poor journalist. He deserves a refund.

I could be wrong, but I think he did get a refund. Liberace's estate returned the damges after his death. Did I dream this? Cruise in Top Gun, Cocktail, Days of Thunder, Color of Money...I'll tell you what, the kid just oozes talent, but he needs some discipline.

― Mark, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hehe. hopefully everyone has experienced the tarantino rant about top gun in 'sleep with me'

― Ron, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think liberace ever wore loafers, so it was a moot point.

― Queen G of the 7th Ass, Thursday, 30 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, Dr. Dre stole them.

― Richard Jones, Thursday, 30 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh! I'd forgotten about him.

― Tim, Thursday, 30 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'Sleep with me' is the worst film ever made by a man or a woman.

― Austin., Thursday, 30 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

in Eyes Wide Shut he is walking around New York when a gang of frat boys jostle him and call him a short arsed faggot.

― DV, Friday, 31 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

Tom Cruise has always been gay. I've known this for 8 years before the rumors swept the Internet. My college roommates brother works for the William Morris Agency in Los Anglels and is the agent for a number of prominenet members of the acting profession. He himself is gay, and has confided to his brother that Tom & Nicole are both gay. So the children were props to help furthur there careers, a ploy to convince their public that they were normal heterosexual folks. I have to give Mr. Cruise some credit thought, he's a better actor than I thought he was, he had me fooled. I'll also give you a hint on another hollywood actor who's sexual preference isn't what you believe for this former sweathog...

― Peter Feldman, Wednesday, 3 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"my cousin boudreaux's hairdresser bought a used air conditioner from this guy whose brother's parole officer used to hang out with phil greenspun, and he says peter feldman had a single when he was in college"

― nabisco%%, Wednesday, 3 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

normal heterosexual folks

hmm but tom and nicole always seemed like UTTERLY BONKERS heterosexual folks to me (and N can't get me for dissing Nicole now he's in glasgow ha!!)

― katie, Wednesday, 3 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Re Tarantino's theory: I seem to remember a heterosexual sex scene in Top Gun.

― chris sallis, Wednesday, 3 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, but why does scientology attract these ppl?

― Queen I never had sexual relations with that BildeberG, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i tort it was "you can be my wingman" not "you can ride my tail anytime". Or have i very worryingly just made that up?

(obviously cruise also retorts with "you can be MINE" in my version, he doesn't just then still say "you can ride MINE" haha take that Kilmer)

oh dear this will be very tedious if i have made this up

― Bob Zemko, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

So the children were props to help further their careers...

Implying that gay people can't possibly want children?

― Frank Kogan, Friday, 5 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

i wish, he was a gay... i would travel all the way to america just to kiss him, and to suck his (probably long, and hard) dick... till it discharges hot white cum over me. i love him. i love him from the day, i first saw him... he is such a cute and handsome man, i can die for him. i consider nicole kidman one of the luckiest ladies on earth, coz she has had countless sex sessions with him. and penelope cruz is the stupidiest, who left the sexy hunk. i wish, i were at her place... getting fucked and sucking him 24 hours a day, seven days a week...

― salman minhas, Saturday, 27 March 2004 11:15 (twenty-one years ago)

thr's also a scene in top gun when the head guy screams out his office (after cruise's circus-stunt fly-by): "I want butts. get me someone's BUTT!" and a scene where cruise is bent over and viper aligns himself behind him and the camera swoops round to skew the perspective. in fact, there's lots of this in top gun.

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 27 March 2004 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

O and I love tom cruise. he's probably my favourite modern hollywood actor and I wish his self-editing film-choosing sense would get it together and get him in some good roles. it's the black-hole narcissism swallows me whole. also his smile is smug beyond his ability.

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 27 March 2004 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Swallowed by the old "black-hole" eh? I think I catch your drift.

― Tim Matheson, Saturday, 27 March 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Ted Casablancas had a blind item that I thought might refer to him: "what star is currently cruising on the gay side? Could it be this notorious 'Tom Thumb'?"

― Harley Earl, Saturday, 27 March 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Stop beating up on Tom. Not only is he the best working actor in the tri-state area, he's also a scientist. That's how smart he is.

...huh? Yeah, that's right...oh. I see.

― Skottie, Saturday, 27 March 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been fond of Tom Cruise as an actor since seeing him in some enjoyable films over the last few years. I did like the way in "Eyes Wide Shut" the fratboys who hassle his character call him a shortarse faggot. I don't really care if he is gay or not.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Saturday, 27 March 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I've always heard that Mike Ovitz arrange the marriage with Nicole. This is obv. back when his name meant something in Hollywood. He promised N. easy entry into films if she'd marry T.C. as a cover. Sounds to byzantine, however, to be true.

OTOH, the marriage ended when
1) Mike Ovitz has no power to enforce any deals
2) Nicole demonstrated she didn't need any help in Hollywood.

Also, I'd heard that T.C. used a specific escort service when he visited Miami and presumably other cities. This is consistent with the porn star allegations somehow. He may have worked for such a service.

Actor or not, he continues to be a movie star. A very separate thing.

― I'm Just Saying..., Saturday, 27 March 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Definatly straight. Did you guys hear that on the movie "The last Samuri" they almost accidentally beheaded Tom Cruise.(Major Whoops)

― Ellen Lane (Ellen Lane), Saturday, 27 March 2004 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

his character was named MAJOR WHOOPS?!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 27 March 2004 17:06 (twenty-one years ago)

No! Duh. I have no idea what his character was named!

― Ellen Lane (Ellen Lane), Saturday, 27 March 2004 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

His character's name was "Swishy LaRue"

― Skottie, Saturday, 27 March 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

A girl I knew worked for six months as R*bert D*wney Jr's personal assistant (even living in his guest house). She told me that one time R*bert, in a confessional moment, told her that during the '80s he'd had a bit of a fling with T*m Crui$e.

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 27 March 2004 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone I know who used to work as a hairdressser in Hollywood told me that their ex used to work as Cruise's gardener and he ( TC) has a policy of employing only gay lookalikes as staff ( pilots, masseurs, chefs, personal trainers, gardeners etc). And he likes to get hot and heavy with his mirror image, basically. Which strikes me as very vain.

I saw the hairdresser's ex's picture; he did indeed look like a Mexican version of Cruise.

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Saturday, 27 March 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Why is nobody talking about the post that revived this thread?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 27 March 2004 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Because it's something so pure that we can't even acknowledge it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

in "Eyes Wide Shut" the fratboys who hassle his character call him a shortarse faggot

One of those fratboys was a good friend of mine (the tall one). He happened to be in England and got the walk-on part because the guy who was originally supposed to do it (another friend from university) had to leave the UK before the super-slow-perfectionist Kubrick got around to shooting the scene. He was bummed.

Anyway, my friend who wound up doing the scene said it was kinda fun calling Tom a faggot. I have no idea if Tom is actually gay or not, but I just thought I'd share that with y'all.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Saturday, 27 March 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

haha Ned! that's very funny.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 27 March 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

that scene and the connotations are one of the reasons I like that film so much.

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Saturday, 27 March 2004 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Why is nobody talking about the post that revived this thread?

salman OTM ;-)

― jed_ (jed), Sunday, 28 March 2004 10:09 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...

Gay. So gay. Off the fucking gaydar. Just admit it, Tom. Lots of people in Hollywood have "come out" and had their carrers stagnante. Your movies are shit anyhow, just admit it and be done with it. Maybe you can land a guest spot on Will & Grace.

― HesSoGay, Monday, 2 August 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

My friend's sister used to work with someone who is a big fan and has seen a lot of his movies and she thinks he's straight, so who cares and who would ever think it's any of their business.....?

― jimmycrackhorn, Monday, 2 August 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

oh wait the pink background what the fuck
the pink backgourd

― jimmy crackorn, Monday, 2 August 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

This film producer once tried to convince me Tom Cruise has been having an affair with David Geffen and that the Kidman divorce went through days before she was to get 50% of his riches.

Do I believe it? No.
Do I care? No.

I kinda wish celeb gossip didn't exist. Who cares about Tom Cruise's personal life? He's a good looking guy who's done well for himself and has done some pretty top films ("Risky Business" is perfect and "Born on the 4th of July"... for which he was robbed of an Oscar, "A Few Good Men") and, like most actors, some pretty bad ones ("Top Gun", "Days of Thunder", "Mission Impossible" series). I wish he'd do more serious stuff.

― CRW (CRW), Monday, 2 August 2004 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh - just to mention. I was told Nicole was gay but I was even less interested in that rumour. He said the person she was having an affair with too, a really famous girl, but I was so dis-interested I've forgotten.

― CRW (CRW), Monday, 2 August 2004 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i had heard naomi watts, but don't take that as fact or anything...

― Maneating Leopards of India (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 2 August 2004 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

In other words, the guy is likely straight but subjected to rumours from bitter people.

― CRW (CRW), Monday, 2 August 2004 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Naomi? That was the one.

― CRW (CRW), Monday, 2 August 2004 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

Hey now.

― Tom Cruise, Friday, 22 October 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

seven months pass...

Tom, its cool that youre gay, just admit it.

and get you fucking paws off Katie holmes, it just looks WIERD.

i mean, why couldnt the scientologists have chosen, i dunno, Jamie Presley to be the bride of cruisenstien?

― JD from CDepot, Monday, 13 June 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

"Paws" is such a great word in that context.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 13 June 2005 18:39 (twenty years ago)

i didnt mean that in a homophobic way, i swear! all apologies if that was taken the wrong way.

― JD from CDepot, Monday, 13 June 2005 18:43 (twenty years ago)

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 13 June 2005 18:44 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, I was just sort of thinking to myself how great the phrase "get your paws off [such-and-such]" is. Really quite evocative. I'm sleepy.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 13 June 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

Katie Holmes Converting to Scientology

Associated Press

2 hours, 41 minutes ago

LONDON - Katie Holmes says she's converting to the Church of Scientology, embracing the religion of her boyfriend, Tom Cruise.

Holmes, in London to promote her new film, "Batman Begins," said Monday that she's excited about her lessons in Scientology, a religion founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard.

The 26-year-old actress and Cruise went public with their romantic relationship in April. The former Catholic and star of television's "Dawson's Creek" grew up with a poster of Cruise on her bedroom wall and has said she grew up wanting to marry him.

"We all keep dreaming, and luckily, dreams come true," Holmes said.

Cruise was in Tokyo Monday for the premiere of his new film, "War of the Worlds."

In an interview in the June 17 issue of Entertainment Weekly, the 42-year-old actor was asked if Holmes is curious about Scientology.

"Yeah, absolutely. She digs it," he tells the magazine.

In response to a question about whether he'd asked Holmes not to do "Factory Girl" — about Edie Sedgwick and Andy Warhol — because of the drug use in the movie, Cruise says: "I don't even know what `Factory Girl' is."

He adds: "Listen, the thing you've got to know about Katie is that she's an incredibly bright and self-determined woman. She makes her own decisions."

Cruise was previously married to Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman, and dated

Penelope Cruz for several years.

Holmes and actor Chris Klein recently called off their engagement, after dating for five years.

When asked by Entertainment Weekly if he plans to propose to Holmes, Cruise replies: "It's gonna happen, man. It'll happen."

___

On the Net:

http://www.ew.com

― Vichitravirya XI, Monday, 13 June 2005 18:50 (twenty years ago)

maybe he's not gay, but is actually MISSING HIS GENITALS.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Monday, 13 June 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

"It's gonna happen, man. It'll happen."

― Vichitravirya XI, Monday, 13 June 2005 19:00 (twenty years ago)

There is something almost curiously asexual about him, A. might be on to something.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:01 (twenty years ago)

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:02 (twenty years ago)

"We all keep dreaming, and luckily, dreams come true," Holmes said. - these ppl genuinely are removed from all notions of worldly reality outside of their bubble of famewealthpower, arent they?

― Vichitravirya XI, Monday, 13 June 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

BEST. BEARD. EVER!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:07 (twenty years ago)

I think James Van Der Beek's semen affected her brain somehow.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:11 (twenty years ago)

Ugh, he is so revolting, I dunno what it is abt the guy that fills me w/such nausea whenever I see a picture of him. I honestly don't think I cd sit through a film w/him in it.

roffle @ c-mang's posts upthread.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

xpost - ugh

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

James Van Der Beek isn't still an item with his TV dad?

Being that Cruise's entire career is based on the fantasy of his being a straight male -- and he'd be confessing he's a fraud -- he's staying way deeper in that glass closet than Kevin Spacey.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

tom cruise is sterile, right? that's where all the hubbub about him & nicole adopting a few years ago came from?

― kf, Monday, 13 June 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

tom cruise of finland

― wackyname, Monday, 13 June 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

New Tom Cruise rumor just in: Apparently Tom Cruise held an interview with Katie Holmes prior to their becoming a couple to assess their mutual compatibility and whether or not he would be able to be "in love" with her - and furthermore, around the same time, according to my information, he held similar interviews with Jennifer Garner and Jessica Alba, though presumably they did not fare as well as Holmes did, despite the possible benefits to their careers that such a liaison would naturally offer.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 03:04 (twenty years ago)

He probably submitted the form on her behalf without telling her. "Hi Katie! You're ONE OF US now! So can we fuck or is it still pretending?"

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 03:36 (twenty years ago)

jessica alba is way too bootylicious for tom cruise.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 03:49 (twenty years ago)

ok, i can check off "have used the word 'bootylicious'" on my "things to do before i die" chart.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 03:50 (twenty years ago)

My Gay-Best-Friend claims to have recently read a gossip collumn which surmises that all the recent TomKat hubbub is being launched because something BIG is going to come out about Tom's private life. The GBF thinks the something BIG is Tomgayness.

All I know for sure is that it's the most over-publicized hookup of the early 2000s.

― Jacqui Pickles (Jacqui Pickles), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 04:13 (twenty years ago)

BEING GAY WITH A MAN

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 04:23 (twenty years ago)

TomKat hubbub

I so thought of the theatre when i read this.

If only there was real Tom Cruise gossip with the TomKat on Santa Monica Blvd

― Vichitravirya XI, Tuesday, 14 June 2005 04:24 (twenty years ago)

"Hi Katie! You're ONE OF US now! So can we fuck or is it still pretending?"

adam I think you've missed the point slightly, THEY WILL NOT BE HAVING SEX.

― cheeses haitch christ (haitch), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 04:33 (twenty years ago)

They can't anyway, because Cruises's right-angle willy won't go in there. Unless she has a genital made of Meccano.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 04:35 (twenty years ago)

ppl who don't know in 2005 that TC is gay = little old lady fans in 1982 who didn't know Liberace was gay

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

Tom cruise = Grate

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 14:29 (twenty years ago)

Cruise says: "I don't even know what `Factory Girl' is."

has he been reading ilx??

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 16:40 (twenty years ago)

Tom is Geir.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 17:16 (twenty years ago)

majorly majorly gay--heard from millions of hollywood peeps, babbysitters, etc, it's OFFICIAL

― breezy, Tuesday, 14 June 2005 18:07 (twenty years ago)

babysitters?

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 18:10 (twenty years ago)

"Apparently Tom Cruise held an interview with Katie Holmes prior to their becoming a couple to assess their mutual compatibility and whether or not he would be able to be "in love" with her..."

I think everyone does that, except it's usually called "dating".

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

http://snl.jt.org/arc/char/DaCa-Lyle%20Billup.jpg

I NEVER!

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I would call it "dating" too (the quotation marks are key).

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

I must say, when prospective lifemates postpone these one-on-one sessions because they have to "wash their hair" or they planned a "girls' night out" a few weeks ago - that is so unprofessional, and liable to cost them my business (which is, of course, boomin').

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

I have it on impeccable authority that Mr. Cruise is neither straighth nor gay. He is stray.

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

How can you doubt his sexuality? LOOK AT THIS HUG!

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/ap/20050617/capt.ny11506171102.cruise_holmes_ny115.jpg?x=246&y=345&sig=Jpir9W38Nq9AjqzHBV.R1A--
Cruise said he and girlfriend Katie Holmes are engaged, after he popped the question early Friday morning June 17, 2005 atop the Eiffel Tower.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 17 June 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

TC is just a step below MJ on the mad-ladder, if you ask me. His plastic surgery also has the fortune of being less pronounced.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 17 June 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

this real/fake relationship is UK TV news today!

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 17 June 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

i think he's kind of ugly, and i also predict something really creepy happening between them, like a crime-of-passion-type murder

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:01 (twenty years ago)

Or Rosemary's Baby. (since TC is reportly impotent anyway)

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:02 (twenty years ago)

Perhaps the goal is to get them to star in Battlefield Earth 2: Electric Boogaloo.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:05 (twenty years ago)

I watched Collateral last night. Pretty good, I thought.

TC isn't gay, he's just crazy. Also: plastic surgery?

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:05 (twenty years ago)

gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

― Roz (Roz), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:06 (twenty years ago)

Oooh, good call on Rosemary's Baby, J!

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:07 (twenty years ago)

Gayer than Christmas.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

is anyone else fascinated by the BALD SKEPTICISM of tomkat by the media??? i've never seen anything like it, aside from maybe incidents involving elizabeth taylor and michael jackson. it's like the media is saying "we've bought yr bullshit for far too long, but yr asking too much this time." that ny times piece a couple of weeks ago was insane. i mean, if the old grey lady is hopping the cruise-bashing bandwagon, you can safely assume that katie's beardness is accepted fact.

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

I don't think Cruiser has had plastic surgery, unless he purposefully went from having a straight nose to having a broken one at some point after Risky Business. I'd imagine if he had plastic surgery he woulda fixed that little slip.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:15 (twenty years ago)

Aw shit...I read a really good article about this the other day, but I forget where. Basically, it was saying that Tom C's gayitude AND scientology used to be heavy-duty offlimits because of his kick-ass publicist. Like, if you mentioned it you'd never get an interview with him OR any of her other clients ever again. But recently he fired her (why it isn't said) and now that she can't "protect" him it's turned into a blood bath.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:15 (twenty years ago)

I think Oprah is one of the last to buy into the heterosexuality of both Travolta and Cruise

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:19 (twenty years ago)

Anyway this nonsense with Katie Holmes has got to stop, not for either of their sake but for my sister's sanity.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:20 (twenty years ago)

the TV news is reporting some US magazine poll (People?) which claims that 2/3rds of people think that the engagement is a publicity stunt.

But recently he fired her (why it isn't said) and now that she can't "protect" him it's turned into a blood bath.

it seems like the wrong time for him to start barking like a dog and jumping on various chat show hosts sofas then.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:20 (twenty years ago)

Anyway this nonsense with Katie Holmes has got to stop, not for either of their sake but for my sister's sanity.

Was your sister secretly engaged to Katie, then?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

claims that 2/3rds of people think that the engagement is a publicity stunt.

...but for what? It's not like their respective movies AREN'T going to make a bazillion dollars apiece?

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:22 (twenty years ago)

Here's the article you're thinking of, giboyeux.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:22 (twenty years ago)

i guess theyr'e substituting "publicity stunt" for "katie is Tom's beard" so they don't get sued.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:24 (twenty years ago)

I read an article similar to the one giboyeux mentions. The reason he canned his last publicist was that they were good at keeping his sci3nt0logy under wraps but he really wanted to mention it on the tour for that samurai film. It was the cult or the pr firm, and the pr firm lost.

― mike h. (mike h.), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

That's the one, jaymc. Further proof that his Scientological beliefs are going to be the end of him.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:27 (twenty years ago)

Is Katie Holmes your sister?

xpost

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:27 (twenty years ago)

Ned, around the time Dawson's Creek ended, that whole year, my sister was constantly being mistaken for Katie Holmes, hearing hundreds of times a day "Did anyone ever tell you you look like Katie Holmes?", there was an incident when I put her up in the R1tz-C4rlton where a group of tourists were taking photos of "Katie Holmes", etc. Then Katie Holmes disappeared off the face of the earth and everything was cool.

Well, no more.

I think that perhaps if I was my sister I would kill Katie Holmes.

(NB I don't think she looks THAT much like Katie Holmes to warrant all this but people think what they wanna think ya know?)

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:27 (twenty years ago)

Doesn't Mimi Rogers (wife # 1) make fun of him publicly all the time now for Sc$entology?

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:30 (twenty years ago)

I'm friends with a girl who looks a lot like Katie Holmes!

Well, not so much a friend as this girl who is friends with a friend of mine, one to whom she gave what he described as "a spontaneous blowjob on the floor of a Spanish hotel room".

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:31 (twenty years ago)

Seize the day.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:31 (twenty years ago)

"spontaneous blowjob" is my Friday phrase of the day

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:33 (twenty years ago)

Tom hires Scientologist handler to "keep an eye" on Katie. Creepy.

― Roz (Roz), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:34 (twenty years ago)

Will your sister go out with me, Allyzay?

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:42 (twenty years ago)

I place the blame on this little monster:

http://moviething.com/members/full/Murphy,_Brittany/C56013.jpg

It's like staring to the abyss of hell and watching it feast upon your entrails with crooked teeth.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

In this picture she is hissing hexs in a deep devil voice. Tom is only smiling because he has to.

ihttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v719/gofugyourself/tomdak.jpg

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

I HATE Dakota Fanning. She's so fucking cloying and sweet she's rotting her OWN teeth.

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 is that Brittany's NIPPLE?!

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

YES

Nipples are attacted to evil

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:50 (twenty years ago)

Which explains why you're such an asshole. Er, wait.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

Because i'm the opposite of evil?

(NB: i'm not suggesting that nipples are to opposite of assholes)

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:53 (twenty years ago)

I must be as pure as the driven snow, then.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 17 June 2005 18:53 (twenty years ago)

So what good does all this do Katie?

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Friday, 17 June 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

I thought that was the girl from Adamrl's wedding photos.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 17 June 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

So what good does all this do Katie?

it gets her 5million and rising for her next few films

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 17 June 2005 19:53 (twenty years ago)

i mean she wasn't really A-list. i guess she is now.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

I seriously think Cruise DID interview her, as in "If you get this role, you'll get mega-publicity and a massive jump in pay. Right now you're playing supporting roles/love interest roles. Look at what I did for Nicole Kidman!"

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

Hey, what was the website which supposedly had all the dirt on the celebrities, there was a thread but I couldn't find it.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

Nicole didn't get big till she and Tom were into the last few years of their marriage! Marrying him didn't do shit for her for ages. Maybe "Far and Away" was a lot bigger than I remember

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Not to get too psychoanalytical here, but the biggest draw to the Tom-is-gay theorizing has got to be the fact that he continually dates women with attributes that make it absolutely impossible to imagine his having any serious emotional connection with them. Nicole Kidman is both the exception and the rule on this one: her vibe is so pinched and frosty that it's damned near impossible to even imagine her getting down on her knees to give Tom, but on the other hand that just might make her the perfect match for Tom's equally-pinched inhuman neurotically-intense fake-enthusiasm thing, this whole stupid pent-up rigor that makes it totally natural for his spirituality to belong to a bureaucratic organization with seminars and heirarchies and such. Penelope Cruz is at least human, but then she's clearly too human for him; she goes around getting boozy and playing Punked pranks on Salma Hayek, for god's sake, activities that would surely leave Tom freaked out in the men's room washing his hands over and over and calling his Scientological counselors. And now Katie Holmes, someone young enough -- and raised during the appropriate phases of his career -- that it's difficult to imagine any emotional connection that isn't completely polluted by weird power dynamics and businesslike arrangements and plain old traditional age issues that some people could get past but I can't imagine Tom can.

So one explanation is that he's gay. Another explanation is that he's so damned pinched and pent-up and neurotically closed-off that he's incapable of the traditional give-and-take and emotional connection of relationships, and so approaches each one like some sort of strange business arrangement, in which he selects appropriate and qualified applicants for the position in the knowledge that he will never actually be able to grow close to any of them.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Oh shit I meant to type "getting on her knees to give Tom A HUG!" It wasn't sexual! I mean, geez, you can imagine toddlers toddling over to Kidman bawling and in need of comfort and she'd probably back away.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

Wow you must know him really well! Head would've been better, the short jokes're really played out

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I couldn't imagine Nicole Kidman giving head to Tom Cruise... until now. Thanks, nabisco. Thanks a lot.

― The Ghost of Grrr Yuck (Dan Perry), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

She was living in the danger zone.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

her vibe is so pinched and frosty that it's damned near impossible to even imagine her getting down on her knees to give Tom, but on the other hand that just might make her the perfect match for Tom's equally-pinched inhuman neurotically-intense fake-enthusiasm thing, this whole stupid pent-up rigor that makes it totally natural for his spirituality to belong to a bureaucratic organization with seminars and heirarchies and such. Penelope Cruz is at least human, but then she's clearly too human for him; she goes around getting boozy and playing Punked pranks on Salma Hayek, for god's sake, activities that would surely leave Tom freaked out in the men's room washing his hands over and over and calling his Scientological counselors.

fave post of the day

xpost

DAMMIT. the other way was funner.

― kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

The bigger draw is uh that the guy is gay and there have been rumors floating about him in Hollywood since like Taps (if not before.) That his marriages have been terrible exercises in covering that fact up is just icing on the cake. It's not coincidence or poor marriage planning that's resulted in this stuff floating persistently around him and not say Johnny Depp or Keanu Reeves (both of whom's presumably past ahem gay indescretions have faded as time has gone on.) Where there is smoke there is fire.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

Blowjobs are presumably not essential to healthy emotional relationships. And I can imagine Kidman going down on Cruise, only in this way where neither of them are really even emotionally there, and she's only doing it as part of a deal they made about whether to vacation in France or New Zealand.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

i just have a hard time imagining her going down on him because she's so TALL. he's either pushed to the edge of a chair & she's awkwardly fitting her body into the space of his legs or her legs are dangling off the end of the bed or . . . or . . . or . . .
perhaps i should've just kept those images to myself.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

yes.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

THREAD OF DOOM

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

nabisco's theory makes a lot more sense than Tom-is-gay

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

Hey, what was the website which supposedly had all the dirt on the celebrities, there was a thread but I couldn't find it.

I think you mean this one, Billy. Hasn't been updated since March '04, though.

http://www.geocities.com/mnussitch/gossip.html.

― Puddin' (Arthur), Friday, 17 June 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

Haha, I forgot about that "the A list" site. This explains all!
Holmes, Katie. "Obsessively searching for drugs to enhance and increase her orgasms." Linked with Joshua Jackson, Chris Klein, and James Van Der Beek.

See, this is why she is really interested in Scientology. The orgasms.

― mike h. (mike h.), Friday, 17 June 2005 21:44 (twenty years ago)

scientology is opposed to drugs, though.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 17 June 2005 22:34 (twenty years ago)

What about orgasms?

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 17 June 2005 22:36 (twenty years ago)

Tools of the psychiatric industry.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 17 June 2005 22:40 (twenty years ago)

L Ron Hubbard was against 'em! Wasting precious fluids!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 17 June 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

the more orgasms you have, the more your Body Thetans prosper.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 17 June 2005 22:51 (twenty years ago)

i caught the end of access hollywood today and it was a billy bush-hosted stormer!

first i saw an interview with the cruiser where he was acting defensive and smirky in a way that really reminded me of george w bush!! in a strong, weird way!

then at the end billy faced the camera and said "we might make fun, but let's remember that a man and a woman got engaged to be MARRIED today. and that's a beautiful thing. good night."

so weird.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:32 (twenty years ago)

omg.

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 18 June 2005 04:48 (twenty years ago)

the tribune had a headline like "well, so you KNOW it's real now!"

no, i don't.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 18 June 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...

Blowjobs are presumably not essential to healthy emotional relationships.

prior to reading this I would have called nabisco the most insightful poster on ile

― Mr Straight Toxic (ghostface), Monday, 26 December 2005 00:49 (twenty years ago)

He did say "presumably." Your mileage may vary.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 26 December 2005 00:57 (twenty years ago)

Inchage — I don't think I'll ever get to mileage.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Monday, 26 December 2005 03:13 (twenty years ago)

three months pass...

Can anyone convince me that this is a baby?

http://gallery.katieholmes.com/albums/outabout06/part5/normal_shopapril04_001.jpg

more pictures of "pregnant" Katie's shopping trip last Tuesday:
http://gallery.katieholmes.com/thumbnails.php?album=445

― StanM (StanM), Thursday, 6 April 2006 21:18 (nineteen years ago)

I think that's a tumor!

― Dan (Or Maybe A Midget) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 April 2006 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

its not a baby, its the REINCARNATION OF HIS HOLINESS L. RON

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 6 April 2006 21:23 (nineteen years ago)

That looks like a pillow.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 6 April 2006 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

Oddly the first thing that popped into my head:

"Basketball is a peaceful planet!!"

― i'm from hollywood, Thursday, 6 April 2006 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

According to a quick google search, Katie was six months pregnant in early December. Which makes her now ten months pregnant. No wonder she looks so odd.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 6 April 2006 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 6 April 2006 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

in vitro alien vampire babies take longer to hatch than normal human babies.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 6 April 2006 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

People, that's what retarded ass-sex babies look like.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 6 April 2006 22:08 (nineteen years ago)

-- Dan (Or Maybe A Midget) Perry

http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/littleman/index.html

― C0L1N B... (C0L1N B...), Thursday, 6 April 2006 22:17 (nineteen years ago)

ew.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 6 April 2006 22:18 (nineteen years ago)

All I know is that movie is someone's pervy fetish fantasy AND IT SURE TEH HELL AIN'T MINE.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 6 April 2006 22:20 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

http://www.tmz.com/media/2006/06/scientology_gay_4_0613_375.jpg

TMZ Staff
Filed under: Life Style, Celebrity Feuds

If Tom Cruise's recent public displays weren't evidence enough, Scientologists Jenna and Bodhi Elfman prove that they, too, are willing to go to great lengths to defend their religion.

Indie film director John Roecker tells TMZ he was walking to his car with a female friend in LA's trendy Los Feliz neighborhood last Sunday when he was approached by a shirtless man and a tall blonde. "Hey, man, you're making fun of my religion," said the stranger angrily.

Roecker quickly recognized the couple as actor Bodhi Elfman and his wife, 'Dharma and Greg' star Jenna Elfman. Mr. Elfman's ire was apparently drawn by Roecker's self-made t-shirt, which had a picture of Tom Cruise on the front under the caption "Scientology is Gay!" and a 'Stayin'-Alive'-era John Travolta on the back with the words "Very Gay!" For the record, both Cruise and Travolta have said repeatedly they are not gay.

According to Roecker, whose encounter was first reported on LA's KROQ-FM's Kevin and Bean Show, the invective started to fly after he made several references to Scientology theology and its reported central tenent, the story of Xenu.

Roecker says Jenna repeatedly said "What crimes have you committed?" and began screaming at Roecker, "Have you raped a baby?" as motorists on Los Feliz Boulevard drove by in snarled traffic.

Roecker says it appears that Bodhi Elfman prepared to take a swing at him, but thought against it.

Bizarrely, Roecker also says that the Elfmans had a young, twenty-something male companion with them whom they continually instructed to move away and cover his ears whenever references to Xenu were made.

Roecker says this is not the first time he has worn a t-shirt that has provoked similar reactions from fellow devotees of L. Ron Hubbard like Juliette Lewis, Lisa Marie Presley, and actor Hal Ozman, who worked on 'Dawson's Creek' with none other than a certain Katie Holmes. Sources at the Church of Scientology's Celebrity Centre say Roecker is no stranger to them. Several non-celeb parishioners have also complained about Roecker's t-shirts.

Bodhi Elfman's rep Jenni Weinman tells TMZ that according to Bodhi "He was out for a Sunday stroll with his wife, when some guy walks by with a t-shirt on, very prominently attacking his religion. Words were extended and Bodhi and Jenna were personally attacked for their beliefs. As they went about their business, the guy continued to try to illicit negative responses from the both of them. As they walked away he continued to scream propaganda and hate at them. Apparently he spent all Monday calling the press to promote himself."

http://www.tmz.com/2006/06/13/when-elfmans-explode/

― ¨ˆ¨ˆ¨ˆ¨ˆ¨ˆ¨ˆ (chaki), Thursday, 15 June 2006 06:40 (nineteen years ago)

Bizarrely, Roecker also says that the Elfmans had a young, twenty-something male companion with them whom they continually instructed to move away and cover his ears whenever references to Xenu were made.

"He's not an OT III yet, so ixnay on the Eenu-zay!"

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 15 June 2006 07:05 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.tmz.com/media/2006/06/elfman_g_200x240.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 15 June 2006 07:07 (nineteen years ago)

so has she reached the level where you supposedly get telekinetic powers?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 15 June 2006 07:08 (nineteen years ago)

BACK 2 THA GAYNESS:

my acquaintance who used to work on a hollywood lot says mr. cruise's gayness was common knowledge and that hella people had to sign non-disclosures and that his lover was a bit-actor asian dude who he'd introduce around like no big deal.

― jergins (jergins), Thursday, 15 June 2006 07:11 (nineteen years ago)

put that one in the books as FACT

― jergins (jergins), Thursday, 15 June 2006 07:14 (nineteen years ago)

wasnt there at one point a rumor he was fucking that kid who played his son from war of the worlds or something?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 15 June 2006 07:37 (nineteen years ago)

trapped in the clooooset

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 15 June 2006 08:59 (nineteen years ago)

Jenna repeatedly said "What crimes have you committed?" and began screaming at Roecker, "Have you raped a baby?"

WTF

― Marmot 4-Tay (marmotwolof), Thursday, 15 June 2006 09:17 (nineteen years ago)

"Publicist, they're making fun of my religion! Alert the media and criticise them for calling KROQ before you could!"

Crazy people are allowed to be crazy as long as they have MONEY. Duh.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 15 June 2006 09:20 (nineteen years ago)

what else does money allow?

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 June 2006 09:23 (nineteen years ago)

shopping, I suppose

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 June 2006 09:23 (nineteen years ago)

She has very pretty hair.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 15 June 2006 10:20 (nineteen years ago)

http://members.shaw.ca/alvandyk/HeadExplode.gif

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 15 June 2006 10:39 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.hollywood.com/images/4_1716301.jpg

― Q('.'Q) (eman), Thursday, 15 June 2006 11:40 (nineteen years ago)

"Honey, they're making fun of our RELIGION again!"
"Yeah, this is America - they don't have the right to do that!"

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 15 June 2006 11:46 (nineteen years ago)

that grin of hers is evil! she'll chew yer head off!

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 15 June 2006 12:20 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.tmz.com/media/2006/06/elfman_g_200x240.jpg

http://members.shaw.ca/alvandyk/HeadExplode.gif

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 15 June 2006 12:23 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

jesus the toupee on that baby!

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 11:35 (nineteen years ago)

A dirt-dishing publicist I know told me the other day "There is no baby." (also, Tom has his fave male pornstar stashed away in LA for secret visits.)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 12:30 (nineteen years ago)

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3494/635/1600/060906mapr01.jpg

LOL. that thing could be anywhere between the ages of 3 months and 6 y.o. (scaled down in photoshop).

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 12:37 (nineteen years ago)

why are they telling suri about their baby?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

seriously, the kid looks like baby zoolander.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 13:01 (nineteen years ago)

it does look like a rug.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

i used to like vanity fair

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

actually I think the kid's giving us Blue Steel on the cover there.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

http://perso.orange.fr/troudair/blog2/uploaded_images/omen-737668.jpg

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 14:39 (nineteen years ago)

OTM

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

whoa wtf.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

The Photo of Suri you won't see in VF:
http://www.gawker.com/news/suri/suri-the-photo-you-wont-see-in-vanity-fair-198786.php

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

ok I have tried 17 ways to sunday to see the picture in question on that page and it's not appearing so I give up on that gawker link.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

http://bonaldi.thehold.net/chiz/suricruises.jpg

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

that didn't show up, it's giving a 404.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 15:14 (nineteen years ago)

I'm doing well. It should show up now.

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 15:14 (nineteen years ago)

I was just getting worried it was me, I was being kept from the internets haw haws :(

Also: JESUS.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 15:17 (nineteen years ago)

http://bonaldi.thehold.net/chiz/suricruises.jpg
http://www.cbaa.org/images/lronhubbard.jpg

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 15:21 (nineteen years ago)

also, this had better be a joke: http://enewschannels.com/2006/08/28/enc92_214151

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 15:23 (nineteen years ago)

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO ITS EYES?!

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

It's kinda rare you see the new Paris Hilton's career from birth.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 15:32 (nineteen years ago)

That babe looks seriously Asian.

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 15:36 (nineteen years ago)

A Special Note to Our Readers (and the Vanity Fair PR Department): This is a parody. A parody. The Asian baby photoshopped into this image is not meant to represent the Asian baby shown in the actual image. The baby in this photo is not Tom Cruise's daughter. As far as we know; the dude gets around. Thank you for your wisdom and understanding.A Special Note to Our Readers (and the Vanity Fair PR Department): This is a parody. A parody. The Asian baby photoshopped into this image is not meant to represent the Asian baby shown in the actual image. The baby in this photo is not Tom Cruise's daughter. As far as we know; the dude gets around. Thank you for your wisdom and understanding.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 21:41 (nineteen years ago)

what's parodic about making the baby look asian?

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 22:08 (nineteen years ago)

because you can buy asian babies, i guess.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 22:10 (nineteen years ago)

because tomkat arent asian ok

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 22:46 (nineteen years ago)

I assume they meant because they have seen a photo that shows a very diff kid and this is their "representation"/pisstake of that? I dunno.

The VF actual pic certainly looks like the kid is Katie's.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 7 September 2006 01:15 (nineteen years ago)

It looks like Tom, too. I say the kid is legit. Or a wax sculpture.

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Thursday, 7 September 2006 01:26 (nineteen years ago)

Jeez, she doesn't have Asian eyes, she's got Tom Cruise's eyes (or even Chris Klein's *snicker*). Actually, she looks quite frighteningly a lot like Tom the way she's staring at the camera in the cover photo. Everything else is very Katie.

And don't knock the hair, you should have seen how much hair I had at four months.

― Roz (Roz), Thursday, 7 September 2006 01:40 (nineteen years ago)

While I'm the last person to defend Tom Cruise (and I won't), I have to say that the criticism and ridicule Katie Holmes has received for laying low since the birth is absurd.

All the new mothers I've been around have wanted to keep to themselves as much as possible. I'm sure if they had access to a "compound" in Colorado they too would have hidden away for months.

She does deserve ridicule for being with Tom in the first place, though.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 7 September 2006 04:33 (nineteen years ago)

My first impression on seeing the picture was that the baby looks a little *too much* like both its parents.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 7 September 2006 08:35 (nineteen years ago)

In a really adult way, I mean. A baby might have a baby's version of its Dad's nose, but not an adult version. And I wondered just how much PSing had gone on. But maybe I'm just too cynical.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 7 September 2006 08:36 (nineteen years ago)

And also her hair is way too dark.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 7 September 2006 08:37 (nineteen years ago)

haha, madchen i had the same thought. "they found a really good lookalike"!

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 7 September 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

She's a cute kid. They look happy.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 7 September 2006 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

And also her hair is way too dark.

huh? how can a baby's hair be too dark? i mean, if it's black, it's black, right?

anyway, i don't care. i hope everyone is happy. i don't want to be cynical about this at all.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 7 September 2006 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

I think she's really adorable and from the other photos, seems like a well-adjusted happy baby. Yay for Tomkat, I suppose.

― Roz (Roz), Thursday, 7 September 2006 11:23 (nineteen years ago)

I dunno, it just doesn't look right. It looks like mine does immediately after I've dyed it, before I've washed it a couple of times and the colour has settled down.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 7 September 2006 11:32 (nineteen years ago)

maybe we've become to jaded because of photoshop and the like? i refuse to question the pics. i hope they are happy.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 7 September 2006 11:33 (nineteen years ago)

gee, mega-rich people being happy?

I seriously thought the hair was a hat (not in this pic, previous one I saw)

― spectra (spectra), Thursday, 7 September 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah rich people are never unhappy.

By "they look happy" I meant that they don't look like they've been forcefeeding each other deep fried placenta and baby shit for months or like they've been held prisoner by the Church of L Ron or any of the other crap that regularly gets churned out about them. It's really fucking sad that they feel they have to prove to people that they're a "normal" family.

All the "there is no baby" and "we demand pictures" stuff was pathetic. I know he courts publicity and jumps about on Oprah's couch like a fucking maniac but if they want to be left in piece with their newborn baby then I think people should leave them to it.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 7 September 2006 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

"baby"

(sorry)

― Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Thursday, 7 September 2006 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

Tom Cruise has brought all the the shit upon himself and his family with his self-righteous bullshit. It's awful convienient how pretty baby picutres and a "heartfelt" apology to Brooke Shields come about now that Paramount has dropped him and deemed him a nutcase.

― Sam: Screwed and Chopped (Molly Jones), Thursday, 7 September 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

It's really fucking sad that they feel they have to prove to people that they're a "normal" family.

Well, seeing as they're probable weirdos who depend financially on convincing the public that they're blissfully, glamorously normal, I'm not sure this is a huge surprise. But yeah, there is something maybe funny about how much we all would love to find out that Tom brainwashed Katie in order to use her as the surrogate mother for an L. Ron Hubbard clone, or something -- there is a terrific Rosemary's Baby ending hidden somewhere in here, and real life just refuses to provide us for it.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 7 September 2006 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

OK what I find creepy about the two photos is not really the baby (either one) but the way Katie seems like...an afterthought? Are these at all representative of the VF layout? Because 22 pages of Tom Cruise licking a baby and Katie Holmes hovering vaguely behind him, off to the side is...well, weird. That's actually what I find creepy about these two pictures, and like kind of unpleasant?

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Thursday, 7 September 2006 18:56 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I found that weird too. Why wouldn't they just be holding the baby between them? That's the pose most parents with newborns arrange themselves almost automatically whenever I photograph them.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 8 September 2006 00:53 (nineteen years ago)

CONSPIRACY.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 8 September 2006 01:59 (nineteen years ago)

ok ppl not to be all Mother Earth Times and shit but have y'all not noticed that OMG WTF ALL CELEBRITY FOTOS ARE FUCKING CREEPY BY THEIR VERY NATURE

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Friday, 8 September 2006 02:07 (nineteen years ago)

22 pages of Tom Cruise licking a baby

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 September 2006 02:10 (nineteen years ago)

that photo has great production values. Katie is the false summit of Mount Mapother IV. she also seems to have a cheerio hanging from her ear.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 8 September 2006 02:13 (nineteen years ago)

xpost: Russell Crowe's new album?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 8 September 2006 02:13 (nineteen years ago)

i like the Pendleton tease

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 8 September 2006 02:16 (nineteen years ago)

that is not a baby.

LITTLE MAN

― chaki (chaki), Friday, 8 September 2006 03:33 (nineteen years ago)

i'm going to guess that tom went around to apologize to brooke shields after katie went through post partum depression herself (probably not to the psychotic extremes shields apparently did)

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 8 September 2006 05:39 (nineteen years ago)

You can read whatEVER you want into pictures. I mean, seriously, if you like you could think: what the hell's that mountain in thebackground doing there? Maybe Tom has decided Katie's not religious enough and he'll throw her off it.

Of course Tom's being more present. If Katie had done Top Gun and a million other films, in short had the career and success he had, then she'd probably be more the centre. Or maybe not. Were we there when they decided to take the pics? No.

Actually it'd be kinda cool if she had done Top Gun. Even at her age. Crawling like a toddler in that MIG. "I feel the need... the need for... GOOOGAAAGAGGA MILK MOMEY!"

Of course this couple - and Tom in particular - is not normal like you and I. But that's inevitable. Live a life like he does, earn that much money, you are not thinking like the average person. SFW. I still hope they are happy. That baby won't ever know what *reality* (like we experience) is because she's born into money. I still hope they are happy.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 8 September 2006 07:30 (nineteen years ago)

Did you just use 'SFW' in an unironic context?

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 8 September 2006 08:56 (nineteen years ago)

Tom Cruise's Baby: Gay or Straight?

― señor citizen (eman), Friday, 8 September 2006 11:53 (nineteen years ago)

I'll also give you a hint on another hollywood actor who's sexual preference isn't what you believe for this former sweathog...

-- Peter Feldman (ucyber...) (webmail), July 2nd, 2002 9:00 PM.

Arnold Horshack, we hardly knew ye

― señor citizen (eman), Friday, 8 September 2006 11:59 (nineteen years ago)

I wasn't criticizing Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes, my criticism was of VF and Annie Leibowitz since far too many seemed to have missed that.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

TOMKATE

― and PappaWheelie, author of Have You Ever Been Poxy Fuled? (PappaWheelie 2), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

KATEMAS

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 8 September 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

i'm going to guess that tom went around to apologize to brooke shields after katie went through post partum depression herself

I think you're giving him far too much credit for being human, which he's obviously not.

― Sam: Screwed and Chopped (Molly Jones), Friday, 8 September 2006 16:03 (nineteen years ago)

Nath, Tom Cruise's abnormality is totally not limited to being rich and famous. He is a big weirdo just, like, as a person. Far weirder, even, than wealth and fame make most rich-and-famous people. I guarantee you could not spend an hour alone in a room with him without getting fairly creeped out and feeling tremendously relieved when it was time to go.

His personality seems strangely like that of an obsessive 10-year-old boy who's carved a vast edifice of self-control and efficiency and normality out of his own face -- with the help of Scientologists, who are basically like corporate consultants for your psyche. The reason he skeezes me out (and probably others, too) is that it seems like there's a weird, stunted, driven-crazy person trapped in there behind it, like Cruise is simultaneously

1. the weird obsessive child (inner core),
2. the strict abusive stepfather who locks the child in a closet and burns it with cigarettes (middle layer), and
3. the mother who puts on her makeup and smiles out at the world and keeps up a facade of perfection (outermost layer)

all at once. There's something off about the guy. It's not about wealth or fame. Watch that clip where someone shoots water at him out of a microphone, and you get a taste of something very odd going on inside him.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 8 September 2006 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

Or, admittedly, he could just be that sort of guy -- the type he is -- in a really normal non-weird way.

That would be even worse, though, because it would mean he was just plain incredibly brain-meltingly lame as all get-out.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 8 September 2006 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

Nath, Tom Cruise's abnormality is totally not limited to being rich and famous.

No, I realize this, but it's due to his fame and money. Those two things enabled him to become who he is. He was a completely average/normal/non-weird guy BEFORE all this.

Y'know, I don't really care.

And yes, I just used SFW in a non-ironic way. Shit, blame it on my English as second language.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 8 September 2006 18:06 (nineteen years ago)

Meanwhile, Vampire co-star offers moral support:

http://wcco.com/entertainment/entertainment_story_251155123.html

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Friday, 8 September 2006 20:29 (nineteen years ago)

Tom is as gay as they come.

No fucking way he is anything but gay.

The bitch ass can't act either.

The faggot isn't very smart.

The butt pirate is a twinkie loving fruitcake.

I can't enough about the cock smoking dickhead.

― Blake (BlakeSEVEN), Saturday, 9 September 2006 05:38 (nineteen years ago)

I can't enough about the cock smoking dickhead.

YOU NEVER HIM?

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Saturday, 9 September 2006 05:40 (nineteen years ago)

Cruise's response to the asshole water spray guy was spot on.

(asshole water?)

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Saturday, 9 September 2006 08:50 (nineteen years ago)

ew!

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 9 September 2006 11:24 (nineteen years ago)

It's Bjork!!

― JTS (JTS), Saturday, 9 September 2006 12:07 (nineteen years ago)

Tom's response to getting squirted was remarkable and totally valid, I think, but there was still something strange in it. Immediately after the squirt, you see a second of intense rage pass over his face. Then -- and this is admirable -- he goes into this ultimate self-control mode, and starts acting reasonable the way one acts reasonable with children: "Why would you do that to a person?" The problem is that the condescending/reasonable thing is such a facade, so much Cruise acting out the role of being reasonable and magnanimous and too cool to be upset. In fact, it takes him a second to decide he's allowed to be upset, and then he does it in this incredibly pinched manner -- the part where he's like "what are you, some kind of jerk? You know what, that's what you are: you're a jerk" (in this whole "there, I said it" kind of way). I dunno, I find it fascinating to watch, because all through it, you don't see any element of recognizable unmastered human reaction -- he doesn't throw up his arms or sputter or look dejected or chuckle or start to curse or look around at other people for reaction or any of the things normal humans would wind up doing in that situation. It leaves me feeling like he's either weirdly lacking in any basic human form or he's just pinched down so hard with his self-control that he's practically a robot. (What's ironic is that if he'd had more of a normal-human reaction, the clip would be less funny and less watchable -- the humor of it stems from how ridiculously controlled and officious his response is. Especially his very controlled family-friendly use of the vehement "you know what? you're a jerk.")

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 9 September 2006 15:21 (nineteen years ago)

Also he's really intensely up in the guy's face with the Cruise Stare (TM) -- "don't go away, come back here for your lecture."

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 9 September 2006 15:22 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, I take it back, he actually seems to be chuckling as it happens, because he's in this really irritating smug mode before he gets the shot. The main problem after is that he's trying to stare down and get the guy to say something, like the guy's a toddler, and so he just keeps staring and repeating "why would you do that" until he can think up some more good things to say (like "that's incredibly rude" and eventually "you're a jerk").

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 9 September 2006 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C4UvvHMoZs

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 9 September 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

I think the best bit about it is the lackies all trying to get him away and you know someone somewhere's just had "A TOWEL! MR CRUISE NEEDS A TOWEL STAT!" shouted into an earpiece.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Saturday, 9 September 2006 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

i like the little high-pitched squeal he makes as the water hits him, like for a second he's actually enjoying it

― señor citizen (eman), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

I think the best part is how he goes "you know what?" and then seems to just stand there drying himself.

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

Nath, you think Tom Cruise is normal but Steve Irwin was totally loony? Really?

― Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Saturday, 9 September 2006 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

ten months pass...

http://chud.com/nextraimages/valkyrie2.jpe

― latebloomer, Sunday, 22 July 2007 03:54 (eighteen years ago)

gay as a tangerine

― jergïns, Sunday, 22 July 2007 03:56 (eighteen years ago)

lol this thread.

― the table is the table, Sunday, 22 July 2007 22:28 (eighteen years ago)

textbook revival

― never acid again, Sunday, 22 July 2007 22:49 (eighteen years ago)

That picture is seriously awesome. That is all.

― DustinR, Sunday, 22 July 2007 23:26 (eighteen years ago)

his smile is smug beyond his ability.

My favorite bit of movie criticism, like, ever.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Sunday, 22 July 2007 23:44 (eighteen years ago)

ten months pass...

http://www.tomcruiseisnuts.com/images/TOMCRUISE.jpg

― am0n, Friday, 6 June 2008 23:40 (seventeen years ago)

weird depth of field issues there... looks fake.

― s1ocki, Friday, 6 June 2008 23:56 (seventeen years ago)

pretty sure that's photoshopped.

― s1ocki, Friday, 6 June 2008 23:57 (seventeen years ago)

I don't see anything that suggests that it is fake in any way.

― Z S, Friday, 6 June 2008 23:59 (seventeen years ago)

reputable source verified it to me

― am0n, Saturday, 7 June 2008 01:08 (seventeen years ago)

weird aphex twin vibes coming from that pic

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Saturday, 7 June 2008 01:11 (seventeen years ago)

Z_S needs eye exam. Lefthand face was duped and slapped onto the original head. It fairly howls "I was shopped!"

― Aimless, Saturday, 7 June 2008 01:40 (seventeen years ago)

Er, I think he was taking the piss.

― Autumn Almanac, Saturday, 7 June 2008 02:08 (seventeen years ago)

I just don't know when anyone's being ironic any more. Maybe I could hide in this empty tomato juice tin until the world goes away.

― Aimless, Saturday, 7 June 2008 02:22 (seventeen years ago)

Scooch over - make room for me in there.

― B.L.A.M., Saturday, 7 June 2008 03:14 (seventeen years ago)

I think he is both G-AIGHT

― CaptainLorax, Saturday, 7 June 2008 15:30 (seventeen years ago)

this thread is an existential threat to the board, no?

― banriquit, Saturday, 7 June 2008 15:31 (seventeen years ago)

that inquiry frightens me

― CaptainLorax, Saturday, 7 June 2008 15:32 (seventeen years ago)

every pre-9/11 thread

― wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 7 June 2008 15:36 (seventeen years ago)

if ILX devolves into inanity, banality and backbiting, then the terrorists have won.

― wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 7 June 2008 15:40 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

lol

He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, “You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?” I mean, his lingo was larded with the most… There was no basis for it. It was like, “It’s a nice day, I’m glad there are no gay people standing here.” Very, very strange.

― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 15:53 (sixteen years ago)

wtf is that

― surm, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:01 (sixteen years ago)

That's a very dishy interview.

― M. Grissom/DeShields (jaymc), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:07 (sixteen years ago)

more lolz:

AVC: In order to achieve that level of success, you have to have a burning ambition.
BP: I guess so. It’s just a different kind of animal, like a racing greyhound versus a mutt that sits in your lap. I guess I’m a mutt that sits in your lap. I don’t know what that is, but I’ve seen it many times. I think Denzel Washington has it—he’s one of the most unpleasant human beings I’ve ever met in my life, but he’s this mega-superstar.

― Roman Polanski now sleeps in prison. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:09 (sixteen years ago)

oh duh, link

― surm, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:12 (sixteen years ago)

Denzel Washington has it—he’s one of the most unpleasant human beings I’ve ever met in my life

I have heard this elsewhere; no wonder he and Spike get along.

― Your Favorite Saturday Night Thing (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:26 (sixteen years ago)

Holy crap, what an entertaining intview. Surely he can't say all those things? But I'm glad he did.

― I would feel confident if I dated her because I am older than (Laurel), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:49 (sixteen years ago)

balki's really putting his career on the line here

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:51 (sixteen years ago)

wkiw BP

― velko, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:52 (sixteen years ago)

he's a legendary hwood cocksman iirc

― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:55 (sixteen years ago)

great interview

― cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 16:56 (sixteen years ago)

i always check for the gays before i get ice cream

― bnw, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:00 (sixteen years ago)

one of those mistakes you only make once

― bnw, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:01 (sixteen years ago)

that is an amazing interview

― how rad bandit (gbx), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:08 (sixteen years ago)

"he's a legendary hwood cocksman iirc"

what does this mean

― how rad bandit (gbx), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:08 (sixteen years ago)

he does it

― Bobby Wo (max), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:14 (sixteen years ago)

with chicks

― Bobby Wo (max), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:14 (sixteen years ago)

his most recent movie on imdb:

This is the story of Allison McCormack. Twenty-one years old and a student at Shermer University, Allison is in love with her best friend, Jake. Disaster strikes as the band that is supposed to play the big show cancels. Who will Allison be able to find to replace them? Luckily, she spent a year as a roadie for Good Clean Fun. Since then, the band has changed their name to "The Goodcleanfuns" and become the most popular band on earth. Will she be able to get them to play the show? Are the rumors that they have sold out true? Why is Jake's roommate getting kicked out of school? Who makes a guest appearance as The Dean? Written by Issa Diao

spoiler: bronson pinchot makes a guest appearance as the dean.

― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:15 (sixteen years ago)

Holy crap, what an entertaining intview. Surely he can't say all those things? But I'm glad he did.

Yes, that was definitely the most entertaining interview I've read in a long time.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:16 (sixteen years ago)

Hooking Up (2008) More at IMDbPro »
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After "hooking up" with a series of guys at a house party, April is the talk of her high school. Her best friend Michelle, envious of all of April's attention, decides to try and follow in her footsteps and become more sexually forward. At the same time, their mutual friend Caroline has become so infatuated with her older boyfriend Ryan that she doesn't realize he's just using her. All the while, John, spends the week informing his two best friends, Colin (April's repressed and confused brother) and Tyler (the subject of Michelle's crush), about obscure sexual urban legends he reads about online, that just somehow end up managing to come true. Throw in the naive principal Dr. Jordan, who also happens to be Michelle's father, and Mr. Kimbal, a chemistry teacher trying desperately to dodge repeated seduction attempts from his students. Written by Anonymous

spoiler: bronson pinchot makes a guest appearance as the chemistry teacher.

― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:16 (sixteen years ago)

lol good clean fun is a real band

― Bobby Wo (max), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:17 (sixteen years ago)

dc sxe h/c iirc

― Bobby Wo (max), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:17 (sixteen years ago)

maybe we need a separate balkie thread.

― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:17 (sixteen years ago)

hahahaha its the real good clean fun

http://www.goodcleanfunthemovie.com/

― Bobby Wo (max), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:18 (sixteen years ago)

maybe we need a separate balkie thread.

I AM LUUKING FOR MY KOZZEN LARRY!

― Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:24 (sixteen years ago)

Beverly Hills Cop opened up a whole world. I got the television show and movies, and I would go sign autographs for one hour and get paid $25,000. I had bodyguards and police barricades, and I had that whole life from 1985 to about 1992, ’93. Eddie was going through his period at the time of doing movies that were not hits, and he was very low-spirited, low-energy. I said to him, “All anyone ever wants to know when they meet me is what you’re like.” And he said, “I bet they don’t ask that anymore.”

;_;

― access flap (omar little), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:24 (sixteen years ago)

Interview could only have been better if they asked him about my family's personal cult film, "The Langoliers."

― existential eggs (Abbott), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:27 (sixteen years ago)

langoliers is the best

― Bobby Wo (max), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:29 (sixteen years ago)

*high fives*

― existential eggs (Abbott), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:32 (sixteen years ago)

i remember reading the story as a kid thinking "when are they gonna make a movie outta dis?" and like a month later they did.

― well pull down my pants and call me swamp thing (latebloomer), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 20:47 (sixteen years ago)

month seems like a lot of time in production for what they came out with

― Bobby Wo (max), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 20:51 (sixteen years ago)

I haven't read the interview yet, but Bronson Pinchot looks so much better now than he did when he way playing that "zany" sheepherder in that dreadful 80s sitcom.

Kudos, Balki!

― Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 20 October 2009 21:05 (sixteen years ago)

As long as "Days of Thunder" keeps playing on Ted Turner owned television properties, I don't give a fuck who Tom Cruise fucks. Cole Trickle is such a classic character.

― Kris, Monday, June 18, 2001 12:00 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

so so classic

― Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 21:23 (sixteen years ago)

Tom Cruise, inspiration for Bale's American Psycho

― Jesus, the Czar of Czars (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 22 October 2009 21:46 (sixteen years ago)

In Eyes Wide Shut he looks uncannily like Christian Bale In American Psycho.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Thursday, 22 October 2009 21:49 (sixteen years ago)

I've seen American Psycho like 5 times and never made the connection, but it seems so obvious now!

― auuuuuu!!!! sexy ledy, my favorite anomal! (Whitey on the Moon), Thursday, 22 October 2009 21:52 (sixteen years ago)

Eyes Wide Shut - 1999
American Psycho - 2000

so, yeah

― Jesus, the Czar of Czars (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 22 October 2009 21:52 (sixteen years ago)

the link would be Miles Fisher

― henry s, Friday, 23 October 2009 01:40 (sixteen years ago)

Thread title question needs a poll. Settle this once and for all. We owe it to posterity.

― Aimless, Friday, 23 October 2009 03:02 (sixteen years ago)

i bought a tom cruise biography at a dollar store a few months ago, along with some hand sanitizer and some candy.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 03:10 (sixteen years ago)

it was a pretty entertaining read. no particularly shocking revelations. the consensus from people who knew him over the years seemed to be that he was straight and in fact tended to be rather unpleasantly homophobic, pretty much just as described in that bronson pinchot interview.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 03:12 (sixteen years ago)

He seems like he wouldn't really be attracted to people, maybe something like sea lions. Or the Eiffel Tower.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 23 October 2009 03:31 (sixteen years ago)

maybe something like sea lions.

Straight

Or the Eiffel Tower.

Gay

― Paul in Santa Cruz, Friday, 23 October 2009 03:47 (sixteen years ago)

he was straight and in fact tended to be rather unpleasantly homophobic

Being unpleasantly homophobic doesn't rule out being gay. Ask Ted Haggard.

― Zelda Zonk, Friday, 23 October 2009 07:58 (sixteen years ago)

no one knows save for him and his scientology life coach

― amateurist, Friday, 23 October 2009 08:04 (sixteen years ago)

also as soon as bronson pinchot made that comment about denzel, something sort of snapped into focus. yeah, denzel does seem like a big asshole, doesn't he?

― amateurist, Friday, 23 October 2009 08:05 (sixteen years ago)

Being unpleasantly homophobic doesn't rule out being gay. Ask Ted Haggard.

― Zelda Zonk, Friday, October 23, 2009 7:58 AM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark

true, just saying the evidence of him being gay is pretty slim.

("unpleasantly" before "homophobic" was redundant obviously)

no one knows save for him and his scientology life coach

― amateurist, Friday, October 23, 2009 8:04 AM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark

no argument from me!

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 08:36 (sixteen years ago)

yeah i can totally see denzel as total asshole.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 08:36 (sixteen years ago)

like, totally

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 08:37 (sixteen years ago)

I think the homosexual allegations (?) started because Nicole Kidman made some ambiguous comment in an interview, no? I seem to recall so. Yes, I have paid full price for TWO Tom Cruise bios. :-(

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 23 October 2009 09:04 (sixteen years ago)

Actually according to the bio I read, they started pretty early in his career right when some shirtless pictures of him were sold to a gay magazine (or something to that effect.) Plus, Top Gun.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 09:10 (sixteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G36VaaEJi6I

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 09:12 (sixteen years ago)

I wonder if Tom was actively gay before joining Scientology (which views homosexuality as yet another symptom of Xenu's sinister legacy), and has since gotten crazier and crazier as he goes through his series of girlfriends/wives.

In contrast to Cruise, I've heard Travolta just straight up sexually harasses male crewmembers on his movies.

― Matt Armstrong, Friday, 23 October 2009 09:24 (sixteen years ago)

lol, "actively gay." It's late, people.

― Matt Armstrong, Friday, 23 October 2009 09:24 (sixteen years ago)

travolta is pretty much confirmed gay. i mean, there's photographic proof!

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 09:27 (sixteen years ago)

Yeah, he's kissing some dude on the cheek. Oooooooo. :-)

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 23 October 2009 09:52 (sixteen years ago)

Are straight men not allowed to kiss other men in America? Maybe I've been living in France too long.

― Zelda Zonk, Friday, 23 October 2009 09:59 (sixteen years ago)

nope. it's against the law in every state except canada!

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 10:11 (sixteen years ago)

seriously tho that pic proves nothing of course. but two ostensibly hetero adult, unrelated american males kissing another is pretty rare/uncommon here.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 10:21 (sixteen years ago)

anyway the main point being that the rumors and "evidence" are more pervasive and substantial (relatively speaking) for travolta than cruise.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 10:25 (sixteen years ago)

but still anything's possible. cruise has more $$$ and a whole religion on his side to buy and enforce people's silence.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 10:33 (sixteen years ago)

seriously tho that pic proves nothing of course. but two ostensibly hetero adult, unrelated american males kissing another is pretty rare/uncommon here.

Actors are rarely what you'd call "typical males" though.

― Tuomas, Friday, 23 October 2009 10:50 (sixteen years ago)

I mean, the field of acting tends to attract people who are more flamboyant and eccentric than the regular Joe. I'm not saying Travolta necessarily belongs to this category, but I wouldn't see him kissing another guy as a definite proof of anything.

― Tuomas, Friday, 23 October 2009 10:54 (sixteen years ago)

lol i was gonna say "but i never said it was proof of anything" but then i remembered that i totally did (albeit flippantly)

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, 23 October 2009 10:57 (sixteen years ago)

have heard rumours that travolta is having an affair with his own professional lookalike, but have no proof

― it's like a Shark-Cage but for "Your Junk" AKA Your Penis & Balls (stevie), Friday, 23 October 2009 12:04 (sixteen years ago)

also as soon as bronson pinchot made that comment about denzel, something sort of snapped into focus. yeah, denzel does seem like a big asshole, doesn't he?

― amateurist, Friday, October 23, 2009 4:05 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

omg totally

― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Friday, 23 October 2009 12:18 (sixteen years ago)

anyway the main point being that the rumors and "evidence" are more pervasive and substantial (relatively speaking) for travolta than cruise.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, October 23, 2009 6:25 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

but still anything's possible. cruise has more $$$ and a whole religion on his side to buy and enforce people's silence.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Friday, October 23, 2009 6:33 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

doesnt travolta also have tons of $$$ and a whole religion on his side?

― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Friday, 23 October 2009 12:18 (sixteen years ago)

I don't get your point... If scientology is anti-gay, why would scientologists help to cover up Cruise's supposed gayness?

― Tuomas, Friday, 23 October 2009 12:32 (sixteen years ago)

they would suppress it and deny it.

― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Friday, 23 October 2009 12:36 (sixteen years ago)

presumably.

― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Friday, 23 October 2009 12:37 (sixteen years ago)

i mean cuz if their #1 spokesman was gay, and they were anti-gay, that wouldn't be a great look for them.

― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Friday, 23 October 2009 12:37 (sixteen years ago)

Actors are rarely what you'd call "typical males" though.

Like all Swedes are "typical naive".

I don't get your point... If scientology is anti-gay, why would scientologists help to cover up Cruise's supposed gayness?

Huh?

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 23 October 2009 12:55 (sixteen years ago)

(Sorry cranky, never mind, let's all focus on Cruise)

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 23 October 2009 12:58 (sixteen years ago)

iirc scientology has its members divulge all of their their past sexual experiences and 'deviant behaviors' as part of the process of becoming 'clear' -- these confessions are kept on file and used to blackmail members if they step out of line. so i've read.

― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Friday, 23 October 2009 13:40 (sixteen years ago)

doesnt travolta also have tons of $$$ and a whole religion on his side?

Travolta's been a member longer but in terms of influence and clout Cruise is basically #2 in the $cientology organization, after the chairman David Miscaviage (who is BFFs with Cruise.)

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Saturday, 24 October 2009 03:10 (sixteen years ago)

elmo otm, incidentally.

― HOOS Ass Is It Anyway? (latebloomer), Saturday, 24 October 2009 03:14 (sixteen years ago)

three years pass...

Cruise, cruising

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 17 June 2013 17:06 (twelve years ago)

if it's on the internet...

― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Monday, 17 June 2013 17:08 (twelve years ago)

http://www.lightmasterstudios.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Eyes-Wide-Shut-Mask1.jpg

¡Hola!

― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 17 June 2013 17:10 (twelve years ago)

Today's episode, in which we find that Sasha Baron Cohen has "a gay go-go dancer" as a friend.

― Aimless, Monday, 17 June 2013 17:13 (twelve years ago)

I WANT TO BELIEVE

― shohreh aja/danteloo (Stevie D(eux)), Monday, 17 June 2013 18:34 (twelve years ago)

haha that is the perfect urban legend

― they are either militarists (ugh) or kangaroos (?) (DJP), Monday, 17 June 2013 18:46 (twelve years ago)

fidelio

― i wanna be a gabbneb baby (Hungry4Ass), Monday, 17 June 2013 18:52 (twelve years ago)

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