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THE WORST NME COVER OF ALL TIME

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Aya Napa / Ibiza? Gay Dad? Campag Velocet? Starsailor? Hear'say? Sleeper? Carter? Neds dustbins? etc.etc.etc.etc.

― gretnagreen, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Strokes. Had to be said.

― Ben Butler, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am currently looking at the NME of 25 February 1995. Elton John is on the cover in a jacket that makes him look as though he has incredibly bad dandruff. Why did/does he insist on wearing one earing that looks like it belongs in a curtain rail? The headline reads: "ELTON JOHN! The ultimate rock'n'roll interview!" (Was this the beginning of the end for the NME?)

― Mascara, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ocean Colour Scene in 1996. Any occasion when they thought it was necessary to put Oasis on the cover within a month or two of their previous appearance. White Stripes. Did Lo-Fidelity Allstars ever get a cover? If so, them as well: what a pointless band.

― Robin Carmody, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD! That "Has The World Gone Mod?" was the first one I ever bought! I remember they had a Noelrock (as it was then dubbed) Good Thing / Bad Thing article, and I sided it was a bad thing, because I liked Blur.

― DG, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Apropos whatever, completely unexpectedly, Lo-Fis were fucking brilliant at Knebworth at the weekend. The sound's completely redeveloped since their early days - less glitchly, more bassy, and more like Bugged Out!-esque funky house / techno spun out into MDMA- mantras than Embrace faiing to make dance music.

― Chris Houghton, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Northern Uproar was pretty bad, but the day I stopped buying it (never to resume) was the Bratpop cover. And I'll admit to an extremely base and childish reason, one of the prepubescent bands covered in that issue played with us once and drew about 11 people, plus they sucked, and we didn't even get a mention.

― dave q, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh god I just had a horrible flashback - anybody remember Symposium? They were quite terrible, but get loads of bonus points for being un- PC

― dave q, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Campag Velocet cover was an undeserving band alright - but this isn't a bad thing, part of the charm so-to-speak of NME is when it gets it 'wrong': I like the idea of CV being SOMEBODY'S future of pop.

BUT it was also a horrible cover aesthetically - pink and black and a nasty-looking man in leathers.

Actual worst NME cover: a 'global pop' issue circa 1990 where they interviewed Midnight Oil and on the cover had a map of the world poorly drawn on top of a bald head, clearly meant to be that of Midnight Oil bloke but he wouldn't do it so they got some staffer instead. It looked horrible whatever.

― Tom, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yes tom, that midnight oil one is a definite contender

― gareth, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'There's a riot going on: So what are you doing?' - really childishly suggests riots are cool and rock 'n' roll. that 'yoof' one. because i'm a yoof and I'm nothing like that. am I the only person who actually vaguely likes Campag Velocet then?

Bill

― Bill, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But they maybe cancelled out the crap covers by putting Destiny's Child on the cover when they knew it was likely to piss off all the people who like 'real music'. Grate!

Bill

― Bill, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

does anybody remember "romo" (romantic modernism ,new wave of new romantic)? well ,one of those covers

― francesco, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That was Melody Maker, he sez anally.

― Tom, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tony Blair

― Missus Mo, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Haha: I am old enuff to remember — and have been on-staff and been aghast — when they put NEIL KINNOCK on the cover.

― mark s, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well at least Kinnock had Red freakin Wedge instead of the Blighthouse Family

― Missus Mo, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You must have been even more aghast when they did it a second time.

― Billy Dods, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anything and everything by Tangerine Dream.

― alex in montreal, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hang on!!! The "Bratpop" cover was actually Melody Maker!!! I know, because I wrote a rather stiff letter to them about the content of that particular issue!!!!

Old Fart!!!!!

― Old Fart!!!!, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Aaliyah. One of the most boring interviews I've ever read, but at the same time it's Aaliyah on the cover. Isn't that trying just a little bit too hard to be down with the kids?

― Greg, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

bill... am editing nme letters page this week... that destiny's child cover is still pissing people off.

robin - care to submit a letter to my hotmail address? slim pickings, m'friends...

― stevie, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

youth suicide?

― flowersdie, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Stevie...feel free to make up letter from me about how it was the best cover ever made better by the fact they're actually good! I'd e- mail it to angst, but i) Can't be bothered 2)You didn't print my letter about that crap MP questionnaire thing. Bastards.

Bill

― Bill, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I recall Newman and Baddiel on one cover. Posing with guitars. A mite irksome.

― Dickon Edwards, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As far as MM in the 90s goes...

Thousand Yard Stare naked on the front - in preference to Polly Harvey, big interview in same issue.

Daisy fucking Chainsaw - in preference to Hole, major first interview same issue.

Both covers the responsibility of future NME editor Steve Sutherland (and over my dead body too.)

― Jerry, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Have been sorting through NME / MM - struck by how many BAD COVERS.

Bob Mould: big offender. Daisy Chainsaw: with candle. Belly: over- exposed.

Amazing how eg. the Cure were MOST IMPORTANT BAND IN THE WORLD in MM poll 1992. And 'Suede play some dates...' *every week*, with Brett A in same shirt about to get torn off him.

― the pinefox, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Thousand Yard Stare naked on the front - in preference to Polly Harvey, big interview in same issue."

Shyiiiiit! I remember that one. Wasn't it just one 'Stare' that was nekkid with the others standing behind his milk-sop body holding their thumbs n forefingers an inch apart? Desperate fkn' tossers.

"Daisy fucking Chainsaw - in preference to Hole,"
I prefer Daisy fucking Chainsaw actually.

"Both covers the responsibility of future NME editor Steve Sutherland"
On the advert for the new Ministry of Sound Ibiza album on the telly, it says it's been remixed by one 'Steve 'Smooth' Sutherland'. They can't be one and the same can they? Can they?


Which paper was it that had the Hothouse Flowers standing looking bored like gimps? Dullllllllllest cover ever.
And the MM cover of Throwing Muses with Kirsten holding her x-eyed baby still gives me the collywobbles.

― DavidM, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This week - The Strokes - yet again ! twice this year! 10/10 album review and notice that the price has risen 20p this week (that works out as 15% rise in sale price, way above the rate of inflation - the NME have to increase price of their rag because the clueless idiots have a declining consumer base - and they don't know why they are losing readers !

I can't recall a music magazine ever fawning of such blatant hyped mediocrity and the magnitude of misguided praise is now getting laughable - The Strokes an epidemic of bullshit started by NME.

I just wish they go away because they are not needed in 2001.

£ 1.50 the highest price and worst NME ever, look at the rubbish this week Eminem, Papa Roach, American Hi-fi, Travis, Staind, OPM, Ash etc - total tosh and an NME bib - total crap cut out ! Who is the rubbish aimed at !

Ladies & Gentlemen the worst and highest price NME ever ! ...but wait till AOL Time Warner turns it into a fortnightly Rolling Stone with lots of glossy ads, and AOL CD sellotaped on the front cover! and free Warners showcase of bullshit bands! its coming to ya soon!

I have said it before - but there must be a publisher out there with the guts to take on a weak and sickly NME ! ...and launch a new music magazine.. the time is right NOW.

― DJ Martian, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

One of the Strokes on this week's cover worryingly resembles Tom Hanks.

― Dickon Edwards, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I personally prefer NME.COM to the paper version. It's free, quicker with the news, comes with audio and video clips, saves paper, and you get entertaining pop reviews by my dear friend T-- that don't appear in the inky incarnation.

― Dickon Edwards, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

All this bile reminds me of one of the greatest punk singles ever - Thee Headcoats' venomous two chord thrash, We Hate The NME. I was playing it only yesterday, coincidentally.

― Jerry, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Surely they haven't given the Strokes 10/10? Surely? Are they totally unaware of the concept of self-parody?

― DG, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

DG it's true, it's getting pathetic - first page of news Strokes Live at the festivals the band you must see, then in the middle massive article of band talking rubbish, and a gushing album review 10/10 - as I said it's a epidemic!

― DJ Martian, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is there a live review of the Lollies Ladyfest gig on Saturday though? I heard there were a few journos there.

― DG, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Things are worse than ever. NME has just axed 20 jobs including the live reviews editor. Current rumour is that it may even become a monthly magazine. It's not just NME - all other music-related publications are apparently hitting an all time ciculation low. Maybe it's the Net. All very sad.

― Dickon Edwards, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But there's good news at least - Cast have split up. Hurrah!

― Dickon Edwards, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What about Hurrah!?

― Jerry, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Praise the lord - that runt Power has disbanded Cast ! what a useless band.

NME.com they can't do a decent job with 20 people, now reduced to 5 they will just rehash PR news releases of big name artists for masinstream audiences - they don't have any authority/mandate or passion for supporting or discovering new music. NME.com Utter crap.

NME - I expect a switch to a fortnightly publication within the next 6 months, when is their 50th? anniversary ! I think they will try a relaunched fortnightly title as Uncut is a monthly already.

Hurrah - I remember them! that Sweet Sanity track - their image though black leathers was a bit sub Psychedelic Furs to say the least!

― DJ Martian, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Actually, I think the 20 redundancies are at NME.COM rather than NME the magazine. I don't really understand why. I thought NME.COM was winning awards and was generally being looked upon as an IPC success story.

Suppose I'll have to send our next album to horseandhound.co.uk after all.

― Dickon Edwards, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

NME.COM might have won awards, but it lost money hand over fist because IPC never figured out a way to make it profitable. I heard it had lost over a million, but who knows? Hence the redundancies (if they have happened)

― Jerry, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

NME.COM might have won awards, but it lost money hand over fist because IPC never figured out a way to make it profitable. I heard it had lost over a million, but who knows? Hence the redundancies (if they have happened).

― Jerry, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...
new candidate the useless southern bar boogie retro long haired rockers: Kings of Leon. They look stoopid [they deserve to be held down and have their hair sheared], they make the most dullard retro rock.

NME: this week
http://microsites.nme.com/thisweek/
Kings of Leon

I agree with Norman Records
http://www.normanrecords.com/reviews.php

Kings of Leon. 'Youth & Young Manhood' LP/CD (Hand me down/BMG)
NME review: - "the best debut album of the last 10 years' 9/10.
Our review:- " the worst debut album of the last 50 years" 0/10

Go to any bar, anywhere and hear this kind of stale rubbish. If anyone's seen the film Ghost World then the word 'Blueshammer' sums this album up rather accurately. Incredibly, incredibly bad beyond belief. Not one glimmer of any kind of idea, melody or anything....just.....nothing......blues rock of the dullest sort, out of tune singing(!) completely hopeless. What is the world coming to? (Fuckin' bad pub rock. Unbelievable!! x Brian)

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, I thought the cover of that record is very interesting, since it appears to represent the Four Ages of Roy "Wizzard" Wood!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

NB An image search for "Kings of Leon" brought up this!!!! Do you think they'll look this when they get to my age?!?!?!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never heard them, but the name is terrible. It makes Dumpy's Rusty Nuts sound cool.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...
a new candidate:

http://microsites.nme.com/thisweek/

[the return of] The Strokes

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Hee Hee, Casablancas looks silly

― person#0 (person#0), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

And this was a change how?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmmm, I just can't profess a *complete* hatred of the Strokes, as much as I want to. It's a kickback to my indie-disco days.

― person#0 (person#0), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Eh, this is nothing about Strokes hatred, this is just about him looking silly. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but to admit he's always looked silly would to be to hate on him unethically (!)

― person#0 (person#0), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

No, it was the one for Glastonbury one year with Carter USM on the cover. They looked like indie hoboes and were even more vomtastic than usual.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Can someone dig out the mid-70s cover where they report on the Japanese rock scene with the headline "CAN YELLOW MEN SING THE WHITES?" and an entertaining 'slitty eyes' cover pic? I'm going home now.

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...
a new candidate:
http://microsites.nme.com/thisweek/

Jet

useless retro rock band from OZ - digusting hippies !

Why is the NME so backwards ?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

"The Lairiest band in the world"? huh? like thats something to celebrate again?

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

or ever was!?!

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

my god, they are ugly.

― hmmm, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

i wish Campag Velocet would be on magazine covers again...

i vote for the Tony Blair one, something about his face just annoys but it's the statement intended really, and he's holding a guitar iirc

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

If any of you have a spare few minutes on lunch have a read of Kerrang's interview with that cunt from The Vines. It's an absolute hoot

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Ken Livingstone on the decks, with a pair of big headphones on and the words KEN YOU KICK IT? emblazoned across the front page surely wins this hands down?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

what's "lairy"?

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Lairy- drunkenly threatening.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

cheers

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Menswear, anyone?

― JJ, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I was way pissed off that I missed that Godspeed You Black Emperor cover (was in Australia for a couple fo weeks either side of it).

So, personally it would be that one.

But Red KeNME is my proper vote.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

And check out that Vines article. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I think that Livingstone cover was when Ben Knowles was editor. He was appointed by Livingstone as one of London's cultural advisors. Conicidence?

― Canada Briggs (Canada Briggs), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

No.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

But yes to 'conincidence'.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Can someone post a link to the nutty Vines article? My googling is not working.

― Ben Boyer (Ben Boyer), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Their Nu Metal campaign around 2001 was quite pathetic.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...
New worst NME front cover:
http://microsites.nme.com/thisweek/

useless garage rock band Razorlight naked with St George's cross Flag.

I thought The Ordinary Boys would be the biggest brit trad rock duffers of 2004, they now have competition in the complete useless c-unts stakes, step forward Razorlight.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought it said Emo2004 rocks, but remembered that silly "football" game you kill each other over.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

hard nosed music fan who has seen everything in last few years saw this lot last night in bristol fully expecting to rename them razorshite by the end of the evening. anyway ..she said they were ace and so still refers to them as razorlite.
still, seriously cr*p cover .. and what with the latest Q cover .. theres deffo sommat in the water ..

― mark e (mark e), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:47 (twenty-one years ago)

The best one was Pat Nevin

― coco, Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

as for NME.com - what a useless news service, Libertines daily updates zzzzzzzzzzzz

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

The worst was 'Summer 2001 White Riot What are you fucking doing? etc -- ed.'

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

yep, it definitely needed a response from the Mekons

― robin carmody (robin carmody), Thursday, 10 June 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

"Summer 2001 Riot: racism is bad, mmm'kay?" was a particular lowpoint, but how about the post Almost Famous "NME journalists talk about themselves" cover?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 10 June 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...
the worst ever:

http://microsites.nme.com/thisweek/img/cover_030704_L.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i see they have appropriated a Smash Hits-ism from 20 years ago.

the amusing thing is that NME covers never had that sort of design EVEN WHEN THAT SORT OF DESIGN WAS FASHIONABLE THE FIRST TIME; their covers then were very plain-looking, serious affairs. and is that a reference to "the new Darkness"? whoever can they mean ...

― robin carmody (robin carmody), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...
new worst ever cover

http://microsites.nme.com/thisweek/img/cover_140904_L.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my god!! it really is turning into q. that's ridiculous.

― piscesboy, Tuesday, 14 September 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that today's? Good fuck. (PS. What score have they given Embrace?)

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, it's this week's NME:
http://microsites.nme.com/thisweek/

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

That looks like something you'd buy from The Works.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

That really is bad. Who the hell doing their graphic design, Bazooka Joe?

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew DJ Martian would revive this thread, he's the ILX equivalent of 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells'.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Not only is this the worst front cover, it's the worst NME issue ever. Absolute gormless garbage.

If a publisher launched a new weekly music magazine - they would wipe the floor with competition so weak as the NME.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

no they'd sink after just two months. NME has it's name to fall back on.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i dunno, depends on the demographic. none of us old cunts are buying it: how much does 'nme' really mean to Ver Kidz in WH Smith?

― HKM, Wednesday, 15 September 2004 12:58 (twenty-one years ago)

(PS. What score have they given Embrace?)

One out of 10 *cackle, wheeze*

― DJ Mencap0))), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

If a publisher launched a new weekly music magazine - they would wipe the floor with competition so weak as the NME.

Do you have this fucking sentence on your desktop so you can c+p it in every time a thread about the NME pops up?

― DJ Mencap0))), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:05 (twenty-one years ago)

at least they could have used a different number. even 1002 would be more interesting. but i suppose that upsets symetry.

― frankE (frankE), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...
I think this week's could be a winner. Features a terrible photo of Kings Of Leon with the horrible strapline of 'YOU BIGGER, BETTER NME STARTS INSIDE!', which is true, because it definitely doesn't start on the cover.

Also, the new 'Tracks!' section doesn't work. Even though it quite easily could, as a million blogs have proven. They haven't sorted them properly - you can't tell straightaway what's a proper single, what's a download or what's simply getting radio play. It seems to completely ignore 'illegal' downloads in favour of iTunes or Napster stuff, unsurprisingly.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 00:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Ugh.

http://microsites.nme.com/thisweek/img/cover_191004_L.jpg

They've sort of rejigged the insides as well. As in taken what they'd obviously spent months on for their last redesign, and changed some of it about a bit. Like emboldening the font they'd use for headlines for the 'Go Postal' page (ie 'Angst') and putting a border around it. Except now the letters page is called 'The Letters Page'.

I count at least four plugs (including one full page) for 'SUBSCRIBE NOW! GET EIGHT ISSUES FREE!'.

This has to be the last stage before it gets to the 'shrink it down to A4 size and make it glossy like Smash Hits' point that killed Melody Maker. Now that the whole Strokes/White Stripes fuss has died off, it's got to be losing sales again, right?

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

SUBSCRIBE NOW! GET EIGHT ISSUES FREE!

...except we'll fold soon so you wont.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

if america ever decides it gives a shit about the kings of leon i am going to be sooooo mad. they won't though. they won't.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

i kiss you anthony!

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Has DJ Martian got any views on the feasibility of a rival music magazine to the NME?

― Chairman ROFLMAO (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 06:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I like how Kings Of Leon have got a stylist now the fuss about them has finished.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 07:17 (twenty-one years ago)

When I were a lad...

http://perso.wanadoo.fr/sebsioux/Sioux%20other%20items/Sioux%20mags/mag%20covers/NME%2008Nov80.jpg

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:04 (twenty-one years ago)

The covers get better and better as you go back in time. This one is a work of art:

ihttp://kinks.it.rit.edu/discography/singles/UK/NME660304Dedicated.JPG

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:07 (twenty-one years ago)

(Continuing with good ones): Steel Pulse, 1978:

http://cambodia.e-files.dk/nme.jpg

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Perhaps the NME needs to outsource its writing to India.

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:16 (twenty-one years ago)

NME Eno cover, 1976, old masthead:

http://www.geocities.jp/suuuku/keyword/keypics/76nme.jpg

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:17 (twenty-one years ago)

(NB: This magazine does still exist, it's just called The Wire now.) (Sorry, Marcello.)

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Some questions:

1. When did the NME begin to feel that good graphic design was incompatible with its survival, and why?

2. Was NME's artyness in the late 70s and early 80s the result of New Wave etc being inherently more 'arty' than what's around now, or an attempt to differentiate itself from competitors Sounds and Melody Maker?

3. 'Good NME' seems to express divergent values -- 'let's expand the definitions of what music is, and who makes it, and what its values are' -- whereas 'bad NME' expresses a hysterical convergence on 'rock values' which nevertheless seem further away than ever: parodic, post-modern, Spinal-Tappish, Golden-Ageist. Does Britain as a society no longer believe in 'the future' and 'the other', but only 'the past' and 'us'?

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Some more questions, based on this week's NME cover. Help me here, because I no longer live in Britain.

Let's look at the text this time.

'Your bigger, better NME starts inside'.

Now this is a parody of cliched marketing-speak, right? And yet it is also cliched marketing speak. So is it ironic or sincere? A joke or a plug? Have the inverted commas around a moronic phrase sort of melted away, leaving a kind of sincerity?

Next: 'Win Justin Hawkins' guitar!' ('Win' in white, 'Hawkins' guitar underlined' in red)

Competitions, imperatives, more marketing cliches. And we're only on line two!

Okay, now the headline. All caps, three lines, three different point sizes, two different colours, two lines of type slanted diagonally.

THE SOUTHERN BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN
KINGS OF LEON
RICHER, RANDIER AND ON THE ROAD TO HELL

Okay, so there's a Thin Lizzy reference. They're British, so 'southern' doesn't mean redneck confederate staters, but middle class boys from southern England, right? The NME sets up a 'bathetic gap' between cliched rock iconography, which is American, and reality, which is British. Already there's an Alan Partridge / The Darkness comedy element creeping in. We can't be authentic, but we can make you laugh by presenting the gap between real and fake, America and Britain...

The 'richer, randier' line. Sex, money and religion. But 'hell' here is nothing to do with Christianity, right, it's just another invocation of tired old rock cliche? And what are we meant to feel about these people being 'richer and randier'? Again, it's just an invocation of rock cliche about stars getting tons of money and blowjobs, isn't it? If so, couldn't they have added a drug reference, just to complete the cliche?

So is the NME being genuinely moronic, or ironic-moronic? Or perhaps they're hoping to be both? In which case, couldn't they clutter the graphics even more by adding a few of the invisible quote marks that seem to be hovering around every word on this cover (even the incongruous comedy southern accent of 'art-rockin' in the USA')?

Drop shadow and a funny angle on those quote marks, please, Mr "Art" "Director"!

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:47 (twenty-one years ago)

1. When the Sept '84 WAR ON POP cover proved to be their then lowest-selling edition ever.

2. Cf. Jon Savage/Chris Bohn/Richard Williams in the MM of the time and Dave McCullough in Sounds; there was just more scope for being arty in that pre-Q era.

3. Not necessarily, but the post-1986 NME does believe in demographics.

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 20 October 2004 08:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree that 1985 or so is when the change happened.

The weird thing, to me, is that this sort of ironic-moronic marketing-speak is not even necessary for actual, effective marketing. Here in Berlin we have free mags which rely totally on marketing for their existence, like Intro. They look arty and their design is good. Likewise de:bug:

http://www.de-bug.de/news/images/db_images/2806.jpg

I can only assume that British people like stuff that looks cluttered and commercial. It's an aesthetic preference on a national level, not a commercial or demographic necessity. It's like those cafes which have commercial radio on, pumping advertising into the premises. It's not to sell things, or because anyone pays them to do it. It's because the choice is between a dead, sullen silence and the 'lively' sound of the advertising.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:01 (twenty-one years ago)

They're British, so 'southern' doesn't mean redneck confederate staters, but middle class boys from southern England, right?

You might want to revise that!

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's the current Intro, with an attack on the Bush administration on its cover:

http://www.intro.de/img/cover/cover121_300.jpg

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:07 (twenty-one years ago)

In Paris, the rock and culture weekly Les Inrockuptibles leads this issue with the death of Jacques Derrida:

http://www.lesinrocks.com/picts/visuels/200410/44361.jpg

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:09 (twenty-one years ago)

(Okay, Kings of Leon are really US southern. And the hell reference is to their dad being a hellfire preacher. This is why I'm asking you this stuff...)

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:12 (twenty-one years ago)

The current Vice in New York is the Worst Ever Issue:

http://viceland.com/issues/v11n9/htdocs/cover.jpg

A parody of the worst apects of style mags, it drips with the kind of vitriol for stupid, lazy media habits not seen since... the 'Death of Media' issue of NME (plain black cover, with words 'Death of Media issue' in white) in 1984.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

In Tokyo, the latest edition of Rockin' On shows it in Q and Mojo territory:

http://www.rock-net.jp/rockinon/cover/0411.JPG

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the message of all this is clear. Rock music is dead. Those involved in rock journalism in 2004 have a clear choice. Either

a) Become a sort of museum curator of the glories of the past.

or

b) Use rock journalism as a platform for political activism.

Actually, there is a c) which can fit with either a) or b), depending on how it's applied:

c) Snake eating own tail solution: use position as rock journalist to make media about media. This can either be self-congratulatory (as a lot of TV is) or self-critical (ie the current edition of Vice).

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Where does NME stand then? Is it attempting to resurrect rock?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

The NME is basically a pre-Q publication. In other words, it's got the attitude that rock is dead and finished, but it's using new bands to promote that ideology. It presents the new bands in terms that refer back always to the glorious past. There's no notion of progress, of expansion, of experiment or adventure. Therefore NME readers will inevitably discover that, where no new rock template is acknowledged, since The Beatles and The Stones (or Bowie and Lou Reed, or whoever) can't be bettered in the old template, they'll become Q and Mojo readers sooner or later, and shift from buying the work of new bands to buying back catalogue of old artists.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

In other words, if rock music is the British Museum, the NME is the gift shop at the entrance, where you can buy postcards and ingenious little plastic models of the antiquities on view inside.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh god.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 09:42 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.rock-net.jp/rockinon/cover/0411.JPG

how great does that LOOk though? gorgeous.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 10:02 (twenty-one years ago)

By the way, exactly what does it cost to get the NME cover these days? Does anyone know? It is for sale, isn't it? How does that work? In the old days (see the Kinks / Pye Records NME cover above) you just bought the space. But today it's not as simple, is it? You have to pass some sort of 'Are you the kind of white retro primal pastiche rock band that appeals to our ever-dwindling base of readers?' test, don't you?

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 12:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Gosh. A music magazine only putting bands on its front cover that its readers are likely to be interested in. Imagine!

― Mog, Wednesday, 20 October 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

HOW DO I IGNORE MOMUS


THANKS

JW

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

see now i don't think that's true.
don't confuse 'the nme' with the cover of the nme.
a lot of what you read in the reviews section, the news, the
gig stuff, the last franz article etc. certanly doesn't
have the atitude that rock is dead. quite the opposite.
often there's plenty of support for experimentation
adventure etc. you may not guess that from the cover.

― piscesboy, Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Yea, because Franz Ferdinand is sooooooooo experimental and adventurous!

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost to Momus:

Did you find that issue of Vice to be as unreadable as I did? It's as bad as the magazines it spoofs.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought it could have been done better. It wasn't so far from an Onion for media junkies. But I did laugh, I have to say. Whereas the NME just makes me want to cry.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you find that issue of Vice to be as unreadable as I did? It's as bad as the magazines it spoofs.

While the style mag spoofs in the current issue of Vice don't say anything particularly funny / original / cutting about style mags, the parts where it's spoofing itself (the Dos and Donts, the 'Hot' and 'Cool' articles) actually serve draw attention to how shit Vice itself is (as if anyone needed to have that brought to their attention).

― Graeme (Graeme), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the problem with that Vice Worst Issue Ever is that fashion, like fine art, plays much more supple, subtle games with taste than rock does. Often 'the unspeakable' or 'the taboo' or 'a bloody joke' becomes, in art and fashion, a source of new styles. Transgression against the law of the collector or the law of the stylist becomes the new law of the collector, the new law of the stylist. I'm thinking of something like the Chapman Brothers making a model of McDonald's as hell, or Terry Richardon trying to make models look like they're in some cheap porn shoot. Uncool can become cool much more unpredictably in these art / fashion than it does in music, and especially in the NME's conception of music.

I remember when it was different: the 'Is Ginger Baker joining PiL thing, for instance. It seemed like a spoof, but it turned out to be serious. It was a reversal of punk ideology, but punk then was much closer to the kind of sudden, breathtaking reversals that art or fashion alone attempt now.

For Vice, the pitfall of trying to make an edition that looks naff is that naff is exactly where new fashion is likely to come from. It doesn't stay naff for long. At the competitive and creative end of fashion nothing is off limits, and there's nothing that can't be redeemed if the right people get behind it. So the laughs threaten at any moment to be on them. But, you know, I like their vulnerability. I like the fact that they walk a dangerous line with that. The magazine feels alive for that very reason. And just because the NME might go out of business at any moment, it doesn't mean it isn't already dead, and hasn't been for quite a long time, as far as I can see.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...
warning, prepare for comedy:

This Week - The Cool List 2004
http://microsites.nme.com/thisweek/

Everyone over 20 prepare to laugh at what the NME thinks is cool.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

don't care, honest

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

that's the new worst cover ever tho

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

You never know, Krzysztov Komeda may be on it.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to see Thom Yorke covered in chocolate.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

it gets worse, a sponsorsed promotion:

Hologram first for IPC's NME
http://www.mediaweek.co.uk/articles/2004/11/ipc-nme-o2hologram

The next edition of the NME will carry what it claims is a world first for a weekly magazine – a 3D hologram for the entire front cover, celebrating its 50 musical movers and shakers of 2004.

3d hologram features 02 phones

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it just looks so weird dropping that gadget next to drugzz-bloke.

soo fucking weird.

do the sponsors really want that kind of association ..

― mark e (mark e), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

they should have Pete holding the phone in one hand, and a tortoise in the other

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

did O2 know who would be number 1/ on da front cover, when they booked the "Cool List" Ad front cover?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

actually the pose seems to indicate that they were going to superimpose the handheld into the appropiate place. ahem.

.. but i wonder if O2 reconsidered when they saw the photo ..

― mark e (mark e), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Junkiez R kool + konsumer products R kool > konsumers R junkiez + rock izza konsumer product and it's all kool > skore skore skore

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

hooray! um..

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd rather read the Momus Cool List

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

The gherkin is pretty cool, I'll give them that.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i do wish some of what was inside could be scooped out and kept seperate from that sort of sh-t. god help us. there's still some good stuff in there every so often, but this is depressing as all hell.

― piscesboy, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...
This week's has a 'UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT' tag over the NME logo. So I picked it up thinking maybe McNicholas had been sacked, or that IPC had sold the magazine on, but instead it's a reference to the fact that Franz Ferdinand are 'editing' this week's issue.

Didn't actually notice the huge banner headline saying 'FRANZ FERDINAND TAKE OVER NME', because I'm an idiot.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.nme.com/media/images/ff_scarf021104_S.jpg

Wrap up warm this winter with the exclusive Franz Ferdinand scarf, plus more goodies.

― LSD ARISTOCAT (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

STRANGLE INDIEFUX

― LSD ARISTOCAT (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

That is just a Hull City* scarf with FRANZ FERDINAND written on it. Must try harder

*I think - help someone

― DJ Mencap0))), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely it's a Dundee United scarf, what with them being Scots.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, but that would surely be too close for comfort, as Edinburgers?

― DJ Mencap0))), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

It's like the inverse of Dumbarton's famous "licorice allsort" kit.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 6 January 2005 09:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT"

Only one man can save the NME:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39947000/gif/_39947788_chelsea2_203.gif

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 6 January 2005 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

wow, this is the second publication ff have 'edited' after g2 about a year back.

now: why do people think teh ferdinand are 'intelligent'? are lines about terry wogan more clever than lines about tight jeans and stiletto heals? plz show working

― kaiser wilhelm, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

the only problem with that FF lyric is i can't remember Terry Wogan ever being on BBC2.

― Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

the other problem with the lyric is it's so pleased with itself and i don't know why: it's not just that divers critics and fans think ff is clever; it's also that the band clearly concur.

― henry miller, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost)

true! i guess they wanted to mention the bbc for whatever up-sucking reason, and "I'm on bbc2 now" sounds better than the (more factual but more vague for non-Brits) "I'm on Radio 2 now" would.

Damn them and their inaccuracy! Damn them to hell!

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

well the lyric is a brag disguised as nonchalance isn't it? so you could argue Kapranos is singing it in character. an annoying character indeed but perhaps that is the point.

― Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

divers critics and fans think ff is clever.

I like that one.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Franz seem to be an intelligent band. True, not all of them went to art school, but they're not one of these bands who pretend to be thickos in order to look "cool". It's just a shame they didn't comission as interesting features as they did in the Guardian. That said, Nick McCarthy deserves a round of applause for commissioning a piece on the German music scene.
The Glasgow hot spots list wasn't very good - the choices were fine, it's just the writer didn't have a clue. Stephen Pastel's Monorail, the best record shop in Scotland, is merely a "vinyl section" in a cafe (wouldn't want to big that shop up too much, cos it might introduce people to a world of musical possibilities far beyond Conor McNicholas's wildest dreams!), while Stereo is in a part of town populated by "purple faced" old alkies. Not when I lived there.
But I'm being pedantic.
It's a shame Franz didn't suggest art galleries or the like, cos Glasgow is producing some interesting stuff (Luke Fowler is the latest Scot to be nominated for the Becks prize) but maybe their suggestions were ignored. Wouldn't want to seem too intellectual.

― stew, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

did EMF make the cover ?- i still play their first , still trying to get into t heir 2nd,i've returnred the 3rd and the greatst hits is not as good as their first.
s kids buy their first and then stop....

― graced boy, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:49 (twenty-one years ago)

it's true ff dont pretend to be hard to be cool; instead they pretend to be clever to look cool. pick your poison really, it's all pretense in pop. personally i can't stand that kind of arch 'cleverness', not least because it's often not as clever as it thinks. teh ferdinand's whinnying on 'mythology' being essential to music is not clever: it's an nme doxa which serves to cover up the musical conservatism of the bands it champions... like teh ferdinand.

― henry miller, Thursday, 6 January 2005 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

EMF had the Christmas 1991 cover, shared (at their own insistence) with Carter USM, all the Meffers wearing Santa hats and Jim'n'Les in their enormous sacks. Or Derry's enormous foreskin. Or something.

(the Greatest Hits beats the debut because of the covers and the Stephen Fry track and the bonus disc of remixes (though it doesn't have all the best Unbelievable mixes :( ))

― kit brash (kit brash), Thursday, 6 January 2005 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

over the holiday i discovered an old copy of the NME, c 1991, which had the cover story of the Inspiral Carpets touring America. Headline? Why "Allied Carpets" of course.

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 6 January 2005 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

EMF had the Christmas 1991 cover, shared (at their own insistence) with Carter USM, all the Meffers wearing Santa hats and Jim'n'Les in their enormous sacks. Or Derry's enormous foreskin. Or something.
(the Greatest Hits beats the debut because of the covers and the Stephen Fry track and the bonus disc of remixes (though it doesn't have all the best Unbelievable mixes :( ))

-- kit brash (kitbras...), January 6th, 2005.
what;s all the covers - i know of cream cover

― forest freak, Thursday, 6 January 2005 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

EMF had the Christmas 1991 cover, shared (at their own insistence) with Carter USM, all the Meffers wearing Santa hats and Jim'n'Les in their enormous sacks. Or Derry's enormous foreskin. Or something.

Oh no oh no oh no I'm having some traumatic recovered memory of this now...

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 6 January 2005 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

[x-post] That's where it all went wrong, they don't do headline puns like they used to in NME now. or, um, anything really.

much as I'a enjoying the Carter/'Mef nostalgia - what's the bit in the Franz issue this week on fanzines, have they just crowbarred a big retrospective of '98-era cut'n'paste-style Yummy Fur coverage past the unknowing current NME editorial muppets? Or did I imagine that bit in the nme e-mailout i'm still stuck on?

― peteflynn (piratestyle), Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew there was something I wanted to look at in the NME but I totally missed it when flicking through in the shop. Oh well, back up the road then...
I doubt they included my zine - but the List did. (shameless plug alert)
http://beardmag.blogspot.com

― stew, Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

have they just crowbarred a big retrospective of '98-era cut'n'paste-style Yummy Fur coverage past the unknowing current NME editorial muppets?

Fraid not. There are a couple DIY kinda things, plus the very good Robots & Electronic Brains and Black Velvet, which is a strange glossy covered thing that mainly features glam rock and Lostprophets and the like

― DJ Mencap0))), Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

yay Robots!
why on earth Black Velvet though, longevity....?

― peteflynn (piratestyle), Thursday, 6 January 2005 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I have no idea. Maybe it's the first hit in a google search for 'fanzine', or something. The piece was written by James Jam, though, and he should have a clue about this sort of thing.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Thursday, 6 January 2005 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...
The best nme.com of all time?

spoof

― Rubber Ogden, Thursday, 3 March 2005 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Well weapon!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:03 (twenty-one years ago)

haha, the 'Queens Of Noise are great' headline links to the Auto Trader website

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha, even better than the real thing.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:17 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

― NRQ, Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Good work that man.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 March 2005 11:15 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...
http://nme.com/images/69_190905_killers_cover.jpg

NME comes out every Wednesday, is priced a mere £1.90 and is available in all good newsagents.

This Week
New Look NME! More Reviews! Bigger Radar! All new sections!

Needless to say, it's shit. The reviews have moved to the center pages (probably would work better if there was more of them, probably only moved them to disguise the lack of interviews), a horrible new font which looks like it's out of a student magazine (probably the intention) WHICH THEN CHANGES HALFWAY THOROUGH to a 'serious' font with those serif things on for the hard-hitting interview with The Killers about shampoo or oranges or stamps, or something.

There's even a strangely apologetic "Editor's Letter" from Conor McFuck where his gist is essentially "We don't know why we changed it".

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:26 (twenty years ago)

Who the fuck are "Arctic Monkeys"?

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:35 (twenty years ago)

one pound ninety!?

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:57 (twenty years ago)

The killers are pig ugly, and their music sucks shit through a straw.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

...so i guess i won't be buying nme this week either.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

How is that new Radiohead track mind-bending?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:06 (twenty years ago)

becuase the journos are not used to listening to anything good/interesting.

― hmmm (hmmm), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 10:48 (twenty years ago)

It looks like a free magazine my bank would send me to let me know about all the interesting people that have accounts with them.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 10:59 (twenty years ago)

NO, it's-ah pashmina-ah that sucks-ah shit-ah through-ah a straw-ah!

― Mark E. Smith, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

the one with shaun ryder and his nose full of cocke.

― hub, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

If a publisher launched a new weekly music magazine - they would wipe the floor with competition so weak as the NME.

― DJ Martiain, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

I have said it before - but there must be a publisher out there with the guts to take on a weak and sickly NME ! ...and launch a new music magazine.. the time is right NOW

― DJ Martiain, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

imposter ALERT ! YOU Cheeky parody MONKEY !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

How is that new Radiohead track mind-bending?

-- Sick Mouthy (sickmouth...), September 21st, 2005.

The lyrics are "look into my eyesssss/you arrrrrre gettttinnnnng sleeeeepppppyyyy"

― ken taylrr has gone off the internet because of you (ken taylrr), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

oh come on. its a good mag. and you are all a bunch of tossers who nothing better to do then complain!

― lipzo tyson, Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

Cutting.

― kit brash (kit brash), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:12 (twenty years ago)

Have they spelt Shaun Ryder's name wrong on that front page?

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

LOL

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

I like that it says "Oasis" TWICE on the cover.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

taking sides Momus NME Vs Strokes NME

http://www.nme.com/images/69_270905_strokes_cover.jpg

[Strokes a band that are so naff 2001]

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

MAD NEW SOUND!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

Hahahahahaha "The Single That Will Change Everything...Again"

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

That cover has convinced me that the NME staffers need to have their coke allowance withdrawn, pronto.

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 16:56 (twenty years ago)

Did the Strokes get a new Julian?

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

"the single that will change everything back to the way it was before, sorry about that"

― kit brash (kit brash), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

"The Soundtrack of YOUR Summer".

read: "We tell YOU what to listen to and you will do it".

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 22:08 (twenty years ago)

Arctic Monkeys are a bunch of twelve year olds who sing about how they got beat up by their girlfriends.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

how fucking dare you say that artic monkeys are crap.
whats next the libertines were a bit shit?
how old are you any way?

― lipzo tyson, Wednesday, 28 September 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

i like how it says 'can they do it again'? in a present tense like that. as if any self respecting 18-24 year old hasn't already heard, liked/ dismissed the new franz lp by now.

still, to be fair to them there are club listings now, and the NME was where i first read about ANNIE way back in summer 04, so i'll always defend some of the content, still buy it.

― piscesboy, Wednesday, 28 September 2005 18:07 (twenty years ago)

MAD NEW JULIAN

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

i like how it says 'can they do it again'? in a present tense like that. as if any self respecting 18-24 year old hasn't already heard, liked/ dismissed the new franz lp by now.

Sadly, they're probably referring to sales and such.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

"the single that will change everything back to the way it was before, sorry about that"

Haha.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Was that guy on the left always in the Strokes?

― JoB (JoB), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

Was that guy on the left always in the Strokes?

-- JoB (jobdewi...), September 28th, 2005.

Judging from that, I think it's Nick Valensi that needs his coke allowance withdrawn. Goodbye sunken cheekbones, hello fatface.

― Cracks (Crackity), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:16 (twenty years ago)

Drugs don't make you thin anymore? The fug?

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Thursday, 29 September 2005 00:13 (twenty years ago)

i like how it says 'can they do it again'? in a present tense like that. as if any self respecting 18-24 year old hasn't already heard, liked/ dismissed the new franz lp by now.

i am glad to be 25, so idon't have internet dudes disrespecting me for not hearing albums before they come out.

― N_RQ (Enrique), Thursday, 29 September 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

It's like there's so much clutter on the cover now all they have room four is the faces of 4 or 5 men grouped around the lead singer in the foreground.

Rather like the 'groom with ushers' shot of a cheap wedding photographer.

― bham, Thursday, 29 September 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

huh? when did nme turn into a full colour glossy magazine?

― nerve, Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

re cover clutter. exactly what soooo wrong with the whole thing if you ask me.

its just soooo ugly i rarely even spend 10 minutes flicking through it.

does the new redesign tidy up the insides ? afterall the website is a lot cleaner now ?

― mark e (mark e), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

Uh oh, this is bound to be shit:

http://microsites.nme.com/blog/

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Friday, 30 September 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

NME now designed especially for 17 year old indie dorks in Doncaster. This week NME features the most useless band in Britain

http://www.nme.com/images/82_81005_babyshambles_cover.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

Why does Pete Doherty have that weird Afro?

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

b-but "oasis and kasabian unite", martian! Who could fail to be thrilled by such news!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:28 (twenty years ago)

"rock 'n' roll" gives its verdict on the strokes? what?

NEWS JUST IN: SEX PISTOLS SHOCKER

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:28 (twenty years ago)

This week's 'aving a laugh at the headlines

World Exclusive: NME should tell it readers Pete Doherty has no music talent ?

Oasis and Kasabian Unite: Twinned Tripe ?
Sex Pistols Shocker: Sid is dead before you lot were born
Strokes: Mad new single [Do the NME have a PR deal with the Strokes?]
Nirvana: unleashed tosh found & reviewed

..at least Peel is remembered

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

sid died before i was born (ie i am 25, so, you know, the nme's target demo, even in the 'golden age').

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

I wonder if Conor McNicholas and Steve Sutherland follow our now weekly laugh at how crap the NME is in 2005.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

Antony Hegarty: He is quite good after all

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:38 (twenty years ago)

DAREST CONTOR I WAS BORN IN 1980 AND STOPPED READING IN 2001 -- THOUGHTS?

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

I've got better things to do than read this shitty board, there's not enough coverage of Pete Doherty and his amazing new Afro. (Must dash as I am fellating Pete as we speak.)

― C*n*r McN*ch*l*s (noodle vague), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

At the moment the NME somehow seems to get worse each week. How does Conor achieve this?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

I wonder if Conor McNicholas and Steve Sutherland follow our now weekly laugh at how crap the NME is in 2005.

why would they care what a bunch of cynical music lovers over 25 and impossible to demographise in any useful way etc.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

There's something jaw-dropping about the fact that The Strokes' new material gets described as "mad" twice in the space of two covers. Since I haven't heard it, I must speculate that it features a kazoo.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/fastshow/characters/images/colin_hunt2.jpg

Mad!

― Flyboy (Flyboy), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

x post

I cut up the previous week's edition, throw it in the air and publish the newly arranged pieces, but with more ringtone adverts.

― Conor McNicholas (noodle vague), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

hmm, in related news popjustice just said rachel stevens' new is likely to debut at number 10 in the charts. probably all 37 copies were bought by ilxors.

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

now you really are a tard it is a hat not a fro!!!
NOW FUCK OF AND DIE.
AND ARCTIC MONKEYS ARE V-GOOD!!!!!

― lipzo tyson, Tuesday, 4 October 2005 18:32 (twenty years ago)

I think the worst part of that latest cover is "JOHN PEEL DAY: What's happening near you?" where most of the country can point and say "Fuck all".

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

now you really are a tard it is a hat not a fro!!!

Whatever, he still looks like a twat.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

Me and Mrs Vague came to the conclusion that the hat is the essence of Doherty's twattery, the Objective Correlative, as T.S. Eliot would put it.

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

He really is the Freddie "Parrot Face" Davies of rock.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 05:42 (twenty years ago)

three weeks pass...
new candidate:

http://www.nme.com/images/82_011105_littlebritain_cover.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

winner.

sorry, but that has to be the worst. ever.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:49 (twenty years ago)

'TICKETS to MEET green day' [ask yer dad] rings weird.

as for 'the album that almost broke him'... it's like the fucking NOTW.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

NME in the Autumn of 2005 is a Total Laughing Stock.

Naff front covers, crap copy headlines EVERY WEEK

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

LMAO: NOW NME 2005 "How Arctic Monkeys Smashed the System"

20 Years Earlier..

NME THEN 1985: Join Red Wedge to Kick Out Thatcher

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

What the hell are we doing here?"

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 18:15 (twenty years ago)

The picture wont show. So I right clicked and selected View Image and

Oops
Page not found

We're sorry, we didn't find the page you were looking for. This could be either because it no longer exists or it was misspelt. You can search for it in the box below.

haha have they moved it because of ILM?

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

http://nme.com/images/62_011105_littlebritain_cover.jpg

?

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

and.... *sigh*

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

Ok thats a pretty bad cover.

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...
it gets worse

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NME_Cover_L101205.jpg

― mark e (mark e), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 08:46 (twenty years ago)

Actually, those two chappies from Little Britain ("Dick Emery for C@%£$" as I've heard it described in another popular netwebby bbs-ey!!!!!) look more credible on the cover of the NME than Babyshambles!!!!!

Mind you, I'm not suprised in the least!!!! "The album almost broke us"!?!?!?!?

Look you twunts, you're supposed to be rock stars for Cliff's sake, yet you're hardly able to play concerts, and find making records too onerous!??!!? Perhaps you should just be honest and re-brand themselves as "Crack Stars". The Sun will still cover you anyway- I mean it's not as though you're going to find any member of Da Franz in 3-in-a-bed vicar/goat kiss-n-tell any time soon, is it?

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

Re: New cover of the "NEW MUSICAL EXPRE".

"Nirvana The Movie!!! And Kurt Narrates it!!!!"
How does that work exactly?!?!?! Are they digging him up and installing a computer operated voicebox or something?!?!?!?!

Re: Nole Gallagher!!!!
Why's he on the cover all the time they need a retro band?!?! Why can't do any with with Menswear or Ned's Atomic Dustbin!?!?!?

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:43 (twenty years ago)

How does that work exactly?!?!?! Are they digging him up and installing a computer operated voicebox or something?!?!?!?!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40852000/jpg/_40852193_jon1.jpg

"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

are the NME still stuck in 1995? with Oasis on the front cover yet again.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

i know! they shd definitely be covering more intelligent dance music and jungle, am i right?!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

You spelt "amirite" wrong.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

DJ Martian, do you not like the NME?

― Venga (Venga), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

the design of this one looks a bit better than most recent covers though. at lease there is less going on.

― mms (mms), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

I like the John Lennon gets shot bit. Imagining a 14 year old wondering if he died or not or if it was a west coast/east coast deal. (yeah maybe David Crosby shot him.)

― MitchellStirling (MitchellStirling), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...
it gets worse:

retro chav mods on the front cover:

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NME_cover_L110206.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:16 (twenty years ago)

I'm all about "PUNK IS 30 YEARS OLD- we talk to Morrissey, who owns some punk records"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:21 (twenty years ago)

god these covers are depressing... and hideous...(my sentence applies to "rock" in general, i guess !)

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:27 (twenty years ago)

NME: rock music weekly for teenage morons

UNCUT: Paul Weller on the front cover. These days Uncut gets more boring, aimed at Mr Average Aged 40 trad rock tosser.

Notice the massive generation gap: people in their 20s/ 30s are Not being served by IPC Ignite.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:36 (twenty years ago)

may the circle be unbroken

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:37 (twenty years ago)

I hope the Arctic Monkeys are working on their remake of Spiceworld.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:38 (twenty years ago)

why bother with anything when rateyourmusic.com exists

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:40 (twenty years ago)

EDITORS were due to be on the cover. it was trailed last week with
'no supermodels. no bullshit. how EDITORS did it their way'
oh the irony. they've got every right to be bloody furious i'd say.

― piscesboy, Tuesday, 7 February 2006 16:58 (twenty years ago)

Good luck to Editors I say, They've got this far with nothing more than minimum NME help. Approaching 500K sales now.

― MitchellStirling (MitchellStirling), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 17:09 (twenty years ago)

http://static.flickr.com/13/17651664_0cc0ba9904_m.jpg

"EDITORS: HOW THEY GOT HUGE WITHOUT SELLING OUT"

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 17:22 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...
the worst bowl haircut on the front cover since inspiral carpets

http://www.nme.com/images/thums/84_NME_cover_L250306.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 16:15 (twenty years ago)

Karen O gets more and more unfortunate.

― R.I.P. Concrete Octopus ]-`: is a guy with a belly button piercing (ex machina), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 16:34 (twenty years ago)

Is that this week's, Martian?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 16:41 (twenty years ago)

she moved to LA cuz NYC was "stale."

― senseiDancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 16:43 (twenty years ago)

Wouldn't it have been easier to do some cleaning?

― Why does the birds always shitting on me? (noodle vague), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 16:44 (twenty years ago)

yes, this week's as seen: http://www.nme.com/magazine

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 16:46 (twenty years ago)

Do people really respond well to magazine covers that are jampackedthismuch with pictures and keywords? As odd as it might sound, I think the best music mag covers in general are ones done right after someone dies.

― musically (musically), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 18:35 (twenty years ago)

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e202/dog111333222/NME_180306.jpg

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 18:47 (twenty years ago)

that was last week's issue

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 18:52 (twenty years ago)

Oh, pick any of the 67 NME issues with Ian Brown on them... I choose this one, just because of the title..

http://www.rockmem.com/NME/19_11_94.jpg

― Yoo Doo Nut (donut), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 19:00 (twenty years ago)

wait, tom petty AND m people?

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 19:02 (twenty years ago)

And Harry Fuckin' Enfield! Still, I bet you a pound to a piece of shit that it was a better read then than it is now. Is this the thread where you get to call Conor McNicholarse a cunt? If so, count me in.

Bit of a while ago now but did anyone see him on that end-of-year MTV2 best of round-up bullshit with Zane Lowe 'round Christmastime? Hasn't he just got the most kickable face you've ever fucking seen?

I really don't like Conor McNicholas by the way.

― yer mam! (yer mam!), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 19:20 (twenty years ago)

Conor Mclickspittle is like the most appalling spotty school prefect, I just hope he knows he stands for absolutely nothing except the perpetuation of cultural hegemony. Don't worry tho, in a few years he'll have a column in the Groaniad (yay.) then be a regular talking head on do you remember the 00s (fantastic.)

― gekkoppel, Tuesday, 21 March 2006 21:27 (twenty years ago)

I trust everyone else was as intensely disappointed as me when they actually saw the "sickest rock merch ever"

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 21:55 (twenty years ago)

People are ignoring that the last band on that NME cover are Nancy Boy. Not the Placebo song, but the long forgotten glam-metal band fronted by Mickey Dolenz's son.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 22:00 (twenty years ago)

If anything, Tom Petty ages that issue more starkly

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 22:23 (twenty years ago)

four weeks pass...
Possibly a new candidate:

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NMEcover_L180406.jpg

It's rather deceptive but I think I got the better of it when I read "How four hardcore kids staged a punk rock revolution" and thought "Huh?".

Also, they have a token fat dude in a silly hat.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 21:29 (twenty years ago)

My 12 year old adopted cousin knows this shit is whack.

― Fight the Real Enemy -- Tasti D-Lite (ex machina), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 21:32 (twenty years ago)

THE 11 LOUDEST RECORDS IN ROCK

1. Arctic Monkeys
2. Metal Machine Music (ask yer grandparents)

continue.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 21:32 (twenty years ago)

Fat dude in a silly hat = US equiv. to Kaiser Chiefs Peanut.

11 loudest records in rock feature surprisingly not bad, if pointless.

Interview with Be Your Own Pet on last page references ex-Swans singer Michael Durra! If y're transcribing a tape and a band mentions someone you haven't heard of (and this being the NME these days that's probably anybody ever) wouldn't you take the five seconds to check the spelling on the internet? You could find that out on Amazon! Contempt for reader ahoy.

Why is Shaun Ryder dancing like that? He's shat himself.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 21:40 (twenty years ago)

People still read NME? I don't even read it in smiths now.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 22:21 (twenty years ago)

"Punk rock revolution"

Fucking cunts. The very notion was dead as the credits played on the Grundy programme.

― Venga (Venga), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 22:54 (twenty years ago)

stop the revolution I want to get off

― fandango (fandango), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 22:57 (twenty years ago)

How many of you are going to festivals? Please hunt down Conor McNicholas and tell him that he is a company boy twat until he starts crying. He may not be the main culprit but he'll do.

― Venga (Venga), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 23:01 (twenty years ago)

new issue =
http://www.nme.com/images/84_nmecover_L240406.jpg

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 23:16 (twenty years ago)

Why are they reviewing a fucking advert?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 23:18 (twenty years ago)

People in ad agencies do coke. Coke is a basic, sempiternal rock and roll value. Therefore, advertising is rock and roll, and as such warrants coverage by the NME.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:14 (twenty years ago)

completely bizarre

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:19 (twenty years ago)

New Kaiser Chiefs Tracks Revealed:

"Oh Fack Giles, Here Come the Townies"

"I Like Girls"

"Baggy Trousers"

― Ricky Nadir (noodle vague), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:21 (twenty years ago)

(shrug) I see nothing wrong with that NME cover.

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:16 (twenty years ago)

I wouldn't want to be a member of any disco that played Panic! At The Disco.

― fandango (fandango), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:22 (twenty years ago)

(shrug) I see nothing wrong with that NME cover.

It was more that they were reviewing an advert than the actual cover!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:26 (twenty years ago)

Win Carl Barat's Signed Guitar? Like ver kids care about Carl Barat these days.

― Bring Me The Head of ESTEBAN BUTTEZ (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:56 (twenty years ago)

Lumme. I stopped reading the NME back in about 93 and it doesnt look like I've missed anything at all :/

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:26 (twenty years ago)

This week: four casually dressed young men, standing in a line in a photographer's studio! Again!

― bham (bham), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 08:05 (twenty years ago)

(shrug) I see nothing wrong with that NME cover.

Learn to look better.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 08:08 (twenty years ago)

Yeah but the Club Of The Week is bob on!

― Affectian (Affectian), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 09:30 (twenty years ago)

xpost to Est - Hey, it's a guitar! for free.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 09:32 (twenty years ago)

"Girls Aloud are as exciting as Franz Ferdinand"

This is a palpable untruth, but nice to see the NME catching up with me four years later.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 09:33 (twenty years ago)

Who the fuck are "Arctic Monkeys"?

I should've known these words would come back to haunt me.

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 11:19 (twenty years ago)

Apropos whatever, completely unexpectedly, Lo-Fis were fucking brilliant at Knebworth at the weekend. The sound's completely redeveloped since their early days - less glitchly, more bassy, and more like Bugged Out!-esque funky house / techno spun out into MDMA- mantras than Embrace faiing to make dance music.

-- Chris Houghton

― jimnaseum (jimnaseum), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 20:27 (twenty years ago)

Punk rock for the kidz! The next major step in realizing the possibilities of music on the internet!

NME.COM, a Time Warner Inc. company (NYSE: TWX), and Mercora, Inc. today announced an agreement whereby NME.COM will develop a beta version of MyNME Radio that brings Mercora's innovative 'music search' and legal music sharing capabilities to NME.COM users. As a result, NME.COM users will have the ability to search, find, and listen to music on the world's largest user-contributed digital radio network. Users will also be able to broadcast their own collection of music to others on the network, as well as browse and listen to their friends' music collections. MyNME Radio will be available by the end of Q2 2006 at www.nme.com.

"With 1.5 million of the most passionate music fans visiting the site each month, NME.COM is the U.K.'s most important music community ," said Kevin Heery, director of Digital Development, IPC Ignite! "Our partnership with Mercora will provide this community with the ultimate music social network experience. This is the next major step in realizing the possibilities of music on the internet."

http://www.transworldnews.com/NewsStory.aspx?storyid=8024&ret=Default.aspx

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 22:52 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...
http://www.nme.com/magazine

"why syd matters now more than ever"

― pisces (piscesx), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 16:36 (nineteen years ago)

"why syd matters now more than ever"

Because he's dead, apparently.

― musically (musically), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

"why syd matters now more than ever"
Because they can do a Syd special and cash in.
And then theres the NME/Mojo Classics special issue to come no doubt.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 17:43 (nineteen years ago)

Why Sid matters now more than ever:

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

BECAUSE OF FAULTY HTML FUCK
http://www.chairmanmoo.co.uk/images/news/syd.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.essentialchristian.com/images/a-picmain/MWT0422.jpg

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 22:01 (nineteen years ago)

Was it Syd Little who ended up working as a minimum wage painter and decorator, or Tommy Cannon? I can never remember.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

I am not able to hate journalists because of what they like, I am a lot more likely to hate them because of what they dislike.

Thus, any backclash against Britpop special will be the worst thing ever.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 22:47 (nineteen years ago)

I've got this idea in my head that the NME office is like a combination of Press Gang, The Daily Planet and Fagin's den from Oliver Twist.

― badg (badg), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 23:13 (nineteen years ago)

that sounds too good.

I think it's a combination of New Labour PR department, the Feltham Young Offenders Institution, and a hair salon.

― Major Alfonso (Major Alfonso), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 23:17 (nineteen years ago)

Had a look at this at Tesco at lunchtime. It was OK and I'm quite surprised that they bothered at all. They reprint some Nick Kent article on Syd that I couldn't be bothered to read bcz I don't like him.

Alan McGee says, "He was the original punk rocker." Does he never tire of fatuous wrongess?

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 12:21 (nineteen years ago)

Syd's about the 14th "original punk rocker" that the ginger millionaire has cited in the last ten years.

― Venga (Venga), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 12:36 (nineteen years ago)

Other "Original punk rockers" that AMc has cited:

Kevin Rowland, bosoms can't be bothered ..

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

Was it Syd Little who ended up working as a minimum wage painter and decorator, or Tommy Cannon? I can never remember.
-- Dom Passantino (juror...), July 18th, 2006.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh i've GOT to know.

― pisces (piscesx), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 15:48 (nineteen years ago)

Silly Alan McGee, everybody knows that Joyce Grenfell was the original punk rocker:

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

"why syd matters now more than ever"
Because they can do a Syd special and cash in.
And then theres the NME/Mojo Classics special issue to come no doubt.

Christ, damned if they do, damned if they don't. Would it be better if they *hadn't* made a big deal?

I don't read the NME any more because there are other places I like to read about music these days. However, it's like TOTP and, dare I say it, John Peel. Not as good as it used to be, or just not as relevant to me, no real place for it in my world any more, but I'd be sad/will be sad/was sad* when it is/was* removed for good.

*delete as appropriate

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

I felt like that when Melody Maker went. Although, from 87-97 it was the greatest music paper ever.

― Venga (Venga), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 20:01 (nineteen years ago)

i thought NME had wrote off Pete Doherty, so why is the talentless prat on the front cover again !

http://www.nme.com/images/84_nmecoverpetedoherty_L250706.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

Oasis Again ! the key question: When are the going to break up - sunnnnnnshine

Indie-Rave ? The last time that term was used was The Shamen in 1992

New Music [More tuneless local indie tripe]: Larrikin Love, The Holloways !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:04 (nineteen years ago)

what album are they talking about re indie-rave?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

many nme readers were scarcely born when rave started.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

I hope Pete says sorry to me for the three minutes I wasted listening to a fuck-awful Libertines song once before I deleted the fuck out of that shitty mp3.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

no idea !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

probably the beginning of a 6-month hype pre-release campaign for The Klaxons

― fandango (fandango), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

Doherty: "What is wrong, with my life, that I must get junk every night. I'm sorry"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

Indie-rave = The Fratellis to cover "Cubik"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

maybe Kasabian? - they are sub stone roses drivel

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

Please please please let it be MSTRKRFT.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

uh-oh there's a band called the fratellis.

xpost -- haha i was gonna say that.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

yeh i thought Kasabian - but then they would surely have mentioned their name on the cover no?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

TS: Indie-Rave vs. Grindie

― fandango (fandango), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:27 (nineteen years ago)

GRINDIE RAVE

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

GRINDIE EMO RAVECORE

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

NEW ACOUSTIC GRINDIE EMO RAVECORE

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

NEW WAVE OF BRITISH NEW ACOUSTIC GRINDIE EMO RAVECORE

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

"There's always been a dance element to my music" says Paolo Nutini

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:32 (nineteen years ago)

grindiemo would be awesome, just for the lulz.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:34 (nineteen years ago)

Last weekend there were 2 niche festivals in England:

Futuresonic
http://www.futuresonic.com/
[Manchester]

and

SuperSonic
http://www.capsule.org.uk/Supersonic/
[Birmingham]

..instead the NME dish up Doherty / Oasis tosh.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

grindiemo would be awesome, just for the lulz.

http://www.getcapewearcapefly.com/

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

I think a bunch of ilxors should storm the NME office in a musical revolution and take over.

Whos with me?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/400/comedyspecial_1.jpg

― Citizen Smith (Kerr), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

Docherty isn't talentless although it is easier for you to think he is so he can represent.... spomething, for you.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

You're right. He's clearly supremely talented... at getting himself in the papers.

― Silver Machine Manor (kate), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

NEW WAVE OF BRITISH BAGGY SHOEGAZE ROMO NEW ACOUSTIC GRINDIE RAVECORE

― Ricardo (jaxxalude), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

Did you hear that tuneless drivel of a single he released last year?

If MM was still with us, Doherty would abused by Mr Agreeable every week !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:40 (nineteen years ago)

Docherty isn't talentless although it is easier for you to think he is so he can represent.... spomething, for you.

Indeed. I too would like this constant wave of Jack Docherty-bashing to stop.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

Did you hear that tuneless drivel of a single he released last year?

If MM was still with us, Doherty would abused by Mr Agreeable every week !

-- DJ Martian (altmartinu...) (webmail), Today 3:40 PM. (djmartian) (later) (link)

Mr. Agreeable was long gone from MM when it bit the dust.

― Ricardo (jaxxalude), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

If MM was still with us, Doherty would be on the cover every other week. Just like Liam and Noel were in '96.

DJ Martian, I do kinda sympathise with your hankering for a music press which functioned as it did in the late 80s/early 90s, but have you not, even after all these years of complaining about the NME on ILM, begun to accept that for a multitude of reasons those days are firmly in the past and will never return?

― Venga (Venga), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

does NME still do Thrills?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

Indeed. I too would like this constant wave of Jack Docherty-bashing to stop.

-- ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (estebanbutte...), July 25th, 2006.

-1.0

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

but have you not, even after all these years of complaining about the NME on ILM, begun to accept that for a multitude of reasons those days are firmly in the past and will never return?

LOSER TALK! DAMN QUITTERS

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

I find Martian's resilience strangely heart-warming.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

-1.0

Aw, come on. It had to be done.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

does NME still do Thrills?

Well the only two copies of NME I've read in the last 5 years were the Peel and Syd tribute issues and there seemed to be no attempt to take the piss out of pop stars therein. Unless the Kasabian interview in last week's was the subtlest piece of satire since Swift. The NME is clearly a PR journal for various "indie" acts these days and nothing else. Ho hum.

― Venga (Venga), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

"Thrills" was usually pretty rank back in the day, in any case. sub c*l*m humour, most of the time.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

True.

But the "diary of Kurt and Courtney" and/or "Evan/Juliana" were some good things, until reality kinda took teh funnie away...

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

Collins and Maconie were/are no match for teh Stubbs.

― Venga (Venga), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

i think calling Johnny Cigs-type humour 'sub Calum' is some wack ordering.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

nah. i know stubbs is more 'one of us'-y but nah.

xpost

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

could it be FABRICLIVE cut copy the 'indie rave' album they are bigging?

― pisces (piscesx), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

ok, "proto-c*l*m".

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

I liked 'Techno News with Troy Wembley'

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. New Musical Express isn't musical nor does it express. Discuss.

― Ricardo (jaxxalude), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

How new is it?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

It came out at lunchtime today, that's pretty new.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

How good was "Old musical express" before the takeover?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.jamesshuggins.com/i/hum1/burnout.jpg

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

I would say it was much better than the new one were that not a possible falsehood, bearing in mind that I've not been tempted even to browse in the thing in WH Smiths since about 2000.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:40 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.mr-agreeable.net/stubbs/default.asp

mr agreeable site

― pisces (piscesx), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

..instead the NME dish up Doherty / Oasis tosh.

-- DJ Martian (altmartinu...), Today 3:35

but, isn't this the logical outcome of Systems Thinking?

― -- (688), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

Remember that Melody Maker never made any Melodies.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

this thread has lost it.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

At least this thread reminds us every time we open it of Carmody's theory that Ocean Colour Scene was a Tory conspiracy.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

Theory?

― Annie Get Your Gin (noodle vague), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

Well, Carmody claimed that almost everything that occurred in Britain from 1911 to 1997 was a Tory conspiracy so you kinda forget which ones were real and which ones weren't.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 25 July 2006 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

So that future generations can read this thread and know what the indie rave album they HAD to hear was, it's something called Digital Penetration that costs a fiver and features the Klaxons. The review of it is something of a new rave manifesto, or seemed to be as I skimmed it really quickly. It's just a pity that The Klaxons sound like Test Icicles part 2.

The FABRICLIVE cut copy does get a mention elsewhere in the issue. Apparently it is "Italo flavoured." On the same page as that we are told that Alan Brake (their spelling) and Fred Falke have done one of their Italo Disco remixes for some indie nonce.

Oh, and Babyshambles have written a song that "makes Oasis sound like the Smurfs." Maybe that's why Doherty feels he should apologise.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:30 (nineteen years ago)

Didn't Oasis stop the Smurfs from covering Wonderwall? Is that what they meant?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

makes Oasis sound like the Smurfs

What the fuck does that even mean?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:41 (nineteen years ago)

I fancy listening to the Smurfs version of "I Wanna Be A Hippy" now.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:44 (nineteen years ago)

What the fuck does that even mean?

Smoke some crack and you'll 'get it.'

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

I bet NME never got shit like this in 1928.

― JTS (JTS), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 23:12 (nineteen years ago)

Worthless music in the NME is no surprise, but who in god's name designs those covers? Is the graphics department run by chimpanzees? Even the tabloids are better put together.

― Ice Cream Electric (Ice Cream Electric), Thursday, 27 July 2006 00:24 (nineteen years ago)

i think i might like the covers more, if they were less red and black, and more blue and green

― -- (688), Thursday, 27 July 2006 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

Joyce Grenfeld is a LEGEND. She should be on the cover of NME when her nursery school tapes get reissued. ROCK ON!!!!

― JTS (JTS), Thursday, 27 July 2006 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

man like simon reynolds is backing the klaxons.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Friday, 28 July 2006 07:54 (nineteen years ago)

I dunno if "it had to happen i spose" = backing.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Friday, 28 July 2006 08:25 (nineteen years ago)

This band are SERIOUSLY in need of a punch.

― fandango (fandango), Friday, 28 July 2006 08:36 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...
the NME try to get analytical: War on EMO? Which side are you on?

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NMEcoverEMO_L160906.jpg

they should have have been ridiculing these EMO artists from the start, but no they gave them coverage

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:10 (nineteen years ago)

there are probably other artists, that they could have given coverage to :(

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:17 (nineteen years ago)

This is really ridiculuos.

― zeus (zeus), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:31 (nineteen years ago)

I just saw the cover in the shop just now and was coming back to post it.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:35 (nineteen years ago)

aww, all the little Kaiser Chiefs fans in Doncaster must be growing up :D get a move on Conor!

this is a good way to put two of the most genuinely popular with 'ver kids (yet un-incubated by the NME Britpop 2.0 bullshit dept) rock bands ON THE COVER whilst simultaneously trying to give off a "still relevant" look, like they haven't dropped the ball completely w/r/t covering what the yoof who are now 15 and up are listening to.

― boredom to the left, babylon to the right (fandango), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:37 (nineteen years ago)

Esteban Buttez: "The judges aren't stupid, just worthless cunts."

― Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:37 (nineteen years ago)

What is SH*TOR DISCO?

― Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

trend analysis 2006/7

indie kids > metal
emo kids > metal

NME > fucked
Kerrang > smug & creamy

― boredom to the left, babylon to the right (fandango), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:42 (nineteen years ago)

Whatevah the NME's position on emo is, mine is the opposite.

― Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:43 (nineteen years ago)

The Hip Hop Wars were never like this.

― Venga (Venga), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:44 (nineteen years ago)

What NME should be covering this week: Mastodon

http://www.terrorizer.co.uk/images/issues/bigt149.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:46 (nineteen years ago)

If Panic! At The Disco are getting threatened in the street The Killers UK tour should be pretty short.

― boredom to the left, babylon to the right (fandango), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:49 (nineteen years ago)

Can the Arctic Monkeys save us from this American invasion???

― boredom to the left, babylon to the right (fandango), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:51 (nineteen years ago)

ripvanwinkle.jpg

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:52 (nineteen years ago)

I pitched that Welsh scene report idea but they were way ahead of me. I'd like to write for Terrorizer

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

Can Eric sort the NME out? When did Eric Fuller edit Sounds magazine?

new managing director of IPC ignite! starts September 18th

IPC MEDIA APPOINTS ERIC FULLER MANAGING DIRECTOR OF IPC IGNITE!
http://tinyurl.com/hmd8b

IPC Media chief executive Sylvia Auton today announces the appointment of Eric Fuller, currently publishing director of IPC ignite! magazines, Nuts and Loaded, to the role of managing director
of IPC ignite!

.....

Eric joins the IPC Media board on September 18, 2006 and will oversee the IPC ignite! portfolio of men's and music magazines, Nuts, Loaded, NME and Uncut and their digital brand extensions, including the market-leading NME.COM.

.....

Eric started his career at Spotlight Magazines' music weeklies Sounds and Record Mirror, both of which he edited. He was promoted to publishing director of Kerrang! and also worked in the US as group publisher of Guitar Player and other magazines for musicians.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 10:58 (nineteen years ago)

also look who has turned up at 6 Music

ex NME writer

Imran Ahmed
http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/shows/music_week/biog_imran.shtml

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

Another good excuse for me not to invest in a digital radio.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:16 (nineteen years ago)

Imran actually admitted to a friend of mine that his sole reason for working at the long dead NME was not because he had the slightest interest in music, but to get himself on the radio, and presumably from there into some kind of meeja career. Hmm, a bit like John Peel then.
-- snotty moore (liljelvi...), March 12th, 2005 12:03 AM. (link)

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:46 (nineteen years ago)

Cut his ears off now, if he hasn't the slightest interest in music.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:47 (nineteen years ago)

dj martian, why do you care so much about what 14 year olds are listening to?

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:48 (nineteen years ago)

bit extreme.

xpost

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:48 (nineteen years ago)

As I've said before, if anyone thinks Imran Ahmed's hip-hop writing was bad, you need to see his pro-wrestling journalism. In particular his celebration of Bill Goldberg's wide ranging moveset.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:48 (nineteen years ago)

Anyway, I was torn between starting up a new thread and bumping this one to discuss teh indie v emo warz, but we may as well carry on here.

Thoughts:

1) Emo has basically left the NME fucked. Kerrang are back ahead in the ABC figures, and the NME is torn between appealing to its current readers by saying "Look at these poofs from America, I bet they don't drink WKD like real men such as the Fratellis do", and going "Well, there's a lot more money in emo than indie by the end of this year, let's break out the eyeliner". So, yeah, it basically is the modern day equivalent of the hip-hop wars.
2) NME-endorsed hatred of indie hatred of emo basically boils down to misogyny, right?
3) Where does this leave the Killers?
4) Mastodon fucking suck.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:52 (nineteen years ago)

why misogyny?

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:54 (nineteen years ago)

i kind of lump indie in with emo. i am very out of touch. it's all 'lol indie' to me.

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:55 (nineteen years ago)

why misogyny?

Because emo is basically for and specifically targetted at 14/15 year old girls. Go to My Chemical Romance's Myspace, try and find comments left by males.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:56 (nineteen years ago)

i see. i didn't know anything about it.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:58 (nineteen years ago)

it's not like the hip-hop wars. it's like the bald-men-and-the-comb wars.

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:58 (nineteen years ago)

So, let's see, IPC unwilling to use real writers with a real passion for music, preferring to use crap writers using "music journalism" as a kindergarten stepping stone to reviewing films for the Daily Sport.

Ah well, if you pay peanuts, you know what you get...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 11:59 (nineteen years ago)

some metal dude laughingly recounted to me a story of how at download an "emo kid" had been tied to a chair by a bunch of metal types who proceded to threaten slicing his wrists open. i thought that was quite unpleasant.

― pscott (elwisty), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:00 (nineteen years ago)

you were very complimentary about 'plan b', and they don't even pay peanuts.

xpost

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:00 (nineteen years ago)

the NME has *always* covered EMO bands. i'm certain there have been other covers with the word large style on the cover over the last few years.

― pisces (piscesx), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:01 (nineteen years ago)

The NME discovered emo, what, two years after "The Middle" came out?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:04 (nineteen years ago)

Thing about Plan B is that the payment issue doesn't bother me; I would enjoy writing for it anyway, as I do for Stylus (maybe I ought to think up some ideas for articles and get in touch with The Management). Whereas two years with IPC convinced me that obedient sweatshop writers were all they wanted.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

Dom Dom Dom, when are we gonna see an emo character in wrestling? (Jeff Hardy doesn't count.)

― Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:20 (nineteen years ago)

Aren't Ring of Honor doing an emo character with one of their undercard workers? He does a lot of moping about his valet and then gets squashed. Alex Shelley would be a pretty cool emo heel I think, but Paparazzi Productions > anything else in wrestling at the moment so there's no point changing him.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:24 (nineteen years ago)

My Chemical Romance are effectively a boy band. And we've been slagging off certain boybands forever without misogyny accusations (because most people agree their songs are shit).

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:27 (nineteen years ago)

Somebody didn't get the memo about My Chemical Romance being this generation's iconic band!

― Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:31 (nineteen years ago)

Amusing to see Dom accusing people of misogyny!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

It's odd to thing that people who loved I dunno, Franz Ferdinand hating My Chemical Romance or vice versa - talk about the narcissism of small differences.

or is, as I suspect, this whole 'war' made up?

― Bidfurd (Bidfurd), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

What do you think?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

if there is a "war" its more disgruntled hatebreed fans than kooks fans who are on the front line. nme's problem is just that its cycle has just peaked. it's 1997. don't worry, rock will be back in four years

― pscott (elwisty), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

bidfurd otm

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

In the NME of 1984 it was WAR ON POP.

Now the author of WAR ON POP slags off anyone who slags off Paris Hilton in a pah-yr-just-jealous-cos-she-rich Simon Heffer style.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 13:34 (nineteen years ago)

i miss the days of hating on The Promise Ring style emo.

― The Ultimate Conclusion (lokar), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

and the get-up kids

― The Ultimate Conclusion (lokar), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

but maybe actually kind of liking them.

― The Ultimate Conclusion (lokar), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

Whatever happened to Neds dustbins?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

i'm pretty sure they played glasgow last year at some point.

― The Ultimate Conclusion (lokar), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

He hasn't been well, you know.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 14:37 (nineteen years ago)

Could someone pls. explain to the US readership exactly what the context for this War on Emo is? Cause I'm looking at this cover and have absolutely no idea what they're on about.

― Sean Braud1s (Sean Braudis), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

Right-wing newspaper decides that My Chemical Romance are actually the cause of everything that's wrong with our youth today, some Kasabian fans throw bottles at Panic at the Disco at a festival, stuff happens.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

Right-wing newspaper decides that My Chemical Romance are actually the cause of everything that's wrong with our youth today

Wait, really? Is there an article about this I can read?

― Sean Braud1s (Sean Braudis), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, there's an ILM thread on it as well, but...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=400953&in_page_id=1770

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

OH GOD IT WAS THIS GENERATION'S ALTAMONT

― Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

No Dumpy's Rusty Nuts! No respectability!!

― Ice Cream Electric (Ice Cream Electric), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 20:49 (nineteen years ago)

another person moving on

mediaguardian
http://tinyurl.com/lp5jy
Malik Meer, the assistant editor of NME, has been appointed editor of the Guide, the Guardian's entertainment listings magazine.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 14 September 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

ipcretirementhome.jpg

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 14 September 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

people in leaving jobs, getting new jobs incident.

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Thursday, 14 September 2006 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

scratchmediocrebackillscratchyours.jpg

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 14 September 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

lol @ daily mail "emo cult" page.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 14 September 2006 15:42 (nineteen years ago)

LOL @ BRITISHES "EMO"

― Really cool, wickedly cool, cooly cool bon apetit! (ex machina), Thursday, 14 September 2006 16:32 (nineteen years ago)

holy christ, that mail article is jizz. "teenage girls are frightened of manliness: they like boys who look like girls" ... yes, of course. that's why all the girls in my sixth-form were busy shagging me and my sorry-ass be-curtained mates instead of the local toughs with the cars and the skinheads and the DRUGZ.

er, hang on ...

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 14 September 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

Someone sounds bitter..

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 14 September 2006 19:03 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not very manly and I get plenty of ass.

― struttin' with some barbecue (jimnaseum), Thursday, 14 September 2006 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

x-post: sometimes i frighten even myself.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 14 September 2006 19:08 (nineteen years ago)

didn't Michelle Malkin or some other US right-wing nut already write that daily mail article? Still stupid.

― Roz (Roz), Thursday, 14 September 2006 19:12 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...
new musical excrement

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NMEcover_panicatthedisco_L2.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 08:52 (nineteen years ago)

someone inform melissa - PATD "want to be the new Radiohead"

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 08:54 (nineteen years ago)

haha they look like idiots.

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 08:55 (nineteen years ago)

Birmingham the new Yorkshire? have the NME found the new Arctic Monkeys for 2007?

Fratellis Explosion? someone threw a grenade at them?

New Pixies Album, but Frank Black already stated there wouldn't be a new album

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 08:59 (nineteen years ago)

How does conor mcnicholas achieve so much unintentional humour?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 09:05 (nineteen years ago)

systems thinking

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 09:07 (nineteen years ago)

Didn't they do a "Grebo" cover once? That must be their worst cover ever. Or maybe one of those covers when they were mad about Nu Metal for about a couple of months in early 2001.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 09:44 (nineteen years ago)

they forgot to mention oasis

― a.b. (alanbanana), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 12:10 (nineteen years ago)

"Emo is bullsh**t. We want to be the new Radiohead."

er...

― braveclub (braveclub), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

Are all the Brummies proud to be the new Yorkshire then?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:05 (nineteen years ago)

It's not the new Yorkshire, it's the new NEW YORKshire. Clever pun there DO YOU SEE. Or can you lot just not read?

So, er, they've found the new Strokes then. Hurrah.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

The Birmingham indie scene is absolutely wretched. At least Yorkshire has Monkey Swallows the Universe and the first few Long Blondes singles.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

i looked at this in the newsagent today - if comeone vomited on a sheet of paper it couldn't look any worse than this.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:16 (nineteen years ago)

"At least Yorkshire has Monkey Swallows the Universe and the first few Long Blondes singles."

Which county owns their later ones?

― braveclub (braveclub), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:16 (nineteen years ago)

It's not the new Yorkshire, it's the new NEW YORKshire. Clever pun there DO YOU SEE. Or can you lot just not read?

oooh... i remember some old school lesson years ago, about how arranging words in this kinda fashion (duplicate word last on first line, and first on next line) tricks the brain into only seeing the word once.

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:19 (nineteen years ago)

panic! of the emo

― fade into goo (fandango), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:24 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe it was a great big front page typo and no-one noticed except me! I'm fucked if I'm reading the article to find out what they meant though.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

seems the strategy we can't beat kerrang so we'll join them

― secondhandnews (secondhandnews), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:31 (nineteen years ago)

NME Ireland launched this week.

check the front cover:
http://blogorrah.com/2006/10/nme_versus_hot_press_oh_the_hu.php

Who are Humanzi ?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Friday, 20 October 2006 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

DJ Martain failure to name band. systems thinking fails? Should plank martian resign from blogosphere be replaced by team of expert portsmouth based allmusic staff?

― acrobat (elwisty), Friday, 20 October 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

more corporate rawk rubbish

http://www.nme.com/images/061024_154121_NMEcover_281006.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

ha NME = New Musical Emo

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

"conquered the nation" ? that will be product marketing £8.79 at Woolies as heard on commercial radio

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 14:54 (nineteen years ago)

botton left-hand-corner: lexattacks?

― benrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

Paris Hilton's latest video is a direct MCR rip-offhomage though!

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.last.fm/group/NME/charts&charttype=weekly&subtype=artist

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

now that's what i call market research

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

that list seems to indicate that putting emo on the cover isn't going to play well with the current readership

― pscott (elwisty), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 15:19 (nineteen years ago)

At least glam-emo breaks with the NMEs love of dull reality-principle-indie. Anything has to be better than Arctic Monkeys, Fratellis etc...

― gekoppel (Gekoppel), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

the royal we

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 19:14 (nineteen years ago)

Only the NME could put the tagline "The week the world went black" under the whitest of white bands.

― The Real Esteban Buttez (EstieButtez1), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 19:43 (nineteen years ago)

The Royal We - good band in NME shockah! It's all downhill for them now I fear... ;)

― Stew (stew s), Wednesday, 25 October 2006 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

Furthermore, NEM writing about a good Glasgow band for a change shockah!
Their favoured Glasgow bands of late have been the horrid Fratellis and Dykeenies.

― Stew (stew s), Wednesday, 25 October 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

er NME that is...

― Stew (stew s), Wednesday, 25 October 2006 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

Wait, I thought Panic at the Disco were emo... And who the fuck is Kasabian?

I'm an American— do I have to keep up with this shit or can I just wait until the next ejaculation hits the NME?

Can't they just focus on telling me whether rock is dead or alive?

― js (honestengine), Wednesday, 25 October 2006 18:38 (nineteen years ago)

Kasabian - they are unfortunately popular in the UK
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kasabian

they are well known for slating other bands on a regular basis

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 25 October 2006 18:46 (nineteen years ago)

what do you like in the uk top 40 dj m? albums or singles?

― pscott (elwisty), Wednesday, 25 October 2006 18:51 (nineteen years ago)

i was thinking about the shocking state of "mainstream music" the other week, i came to the conclusion that 2006 is the worst year for [album] chart / mainstream music in my lifetime *. [* well since 1980, i was too young to remember indepth the 70s]

as for singles chart i try to avoid daytime radio, but it's dismal: r n b trash / rap blink blink/ supermarket rock - radio 2 aor / NME tripe / Commercial US emo rawk related / watered down commercial dance / boy/ girl bands aimed at teenager girls

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 25 October 2006 19:13 (nineteen years ago)

The Momus spoof still wins this thread.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Wednesday, 25 October 2006 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

DJM OTM, more or less.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 26 October 2006 10:01 (nineteen years ago)

Marcello OTM about DJM being OTM.

DJM OTM, of course.

― The Real Esteban Buttez (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 26 October 2006 10:03 (nineteen years ago)

the solution is: don't care. what does i matter how bad the charts are? don't listen to the radio, there's already too much good current music to hear via other routes.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 26 October 2006 10:10 (nineteen years ago)

what does i matter

Are you Linton Kwesi Johnson?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 26 October 2006 10:22 (nineteen years ago)

aye aye.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 26 October 2006 10:29 (nineteen years ago)

Jacques Dutronc - Mini Mini Mini. S'in French though.

― braveclub (braveclub), Thursday, 26 October 2006 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

oops sorry wrong thread!

― braveclub (braveclub), Thursday, 26 October 2006 12:58 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...
http://myspace-877.vo.llnwd.net/00435/77/84/435444877_l.gif

― boney (b0n3y), Sunday, 12 November 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NMEcover_oasis_L111106.jpg

― a.b. (alanbanana), Sunday, 12 November 2006 22:17 (nineteen years ago)

I was going to look for the Grebo cover from the early 90s (or was it late 80s?), but all Google was able to come up with was this:
http://www.grebo-ik.org/tennis/grebo-open/2002/images/barn_ungdom.jpg

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Sunday, 12 November 2006 22:53 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NMEcoverGreendayBono_L18110.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 19:17 (nineteen years ago)

Bono & Green Day - in 2006 who cares

Oasis vs Beatles - battle of trad songs rock

My Chemical Brothers - The Black Parade - What is means to you - tuneless tripe for moronic teenagers

Foo Fighters - Another Generic Rock Album, Grohl bores us again

Yeah Yeah Yeahs team up with NME failure fad band The Horrors

Fratellis - We love the Clash - they listen to daytime 6 Music

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

Muse Brainwash Britain - Jools Holland Later show gig to include hypnotic hallucinating light display with bloated subliminal chorus repeated through song

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)


6 goths

i'm sure there are more than that in 2006, but still you never really know ..

― mark e (mark e), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 19:36 (nineteen years ago)

Bono & Green Day - in 2006 who cares

amazingly the answer is "millions of people". who cares about the sort of music you like? or the music i like, for that matter?

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 19:37 (nineteen years ago)

on no it's the "cool list" issue plus a free generic guitar bands CD

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NMEcoverMUSE_L251106.jpg

The View - tuneless generic guitar tripe

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

why don't they just have a Cool List on their site that people can vote on so it's constantly changing?

i guess it would take the sense of control and influence away from the 'experts' and put it in the hands of their 'bibbling ignorant readership', so no good.

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 15:48 (nineteen years ago)

My Chemical Brothers - The Black Parade - What is means to you

I like the Daily Mail / Generic "Woman's Magazine" appeal to this headline

― you win again, gravity! (tissp), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 15:50 (nineteen years ago)

watch out plan b magazine - beth ditto is NME cool

anyone notice NME has activated an Interactive Web strategy on
http://www.nme.com/news

- comments on News items [registered users only]
- suggest third party RSS Feeds [all of them so far are from other big media outlets]
- an interactive web form to contact the NME

"What do you think of the beta version of the changes to NME.COM news? - click to have your say"

looks like web2.0 hype and blogs have influenced this strategy

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

do Plan B do a Cool List?

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

DiS unleash the NME Cool list:

http://www.drownedinsound.com/articles/1328024

1 Beth Ditto (The Gossip)
2 Faris Rotter (The Horrors)
3 Lily Allen
4 Jarvis Cocker
5 Karen O (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
6 Kieren Webster (The View)
7 Kate Jackson (The Long Blondes)
8 Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance)
9 Thom Yorke (Radiohead)
10 Lovefoxxx (CSS)
11 Paul Simonon (The Good, The Bad & The Queen)
12 Liam Gallagher (Oasis)
13 Jamie Reynolds (Klaxons)
14 The House Of Lords (The Young Knives)
15 Tahita Bulmer (New Young Pony Club)
16 Cee-Lo (Gnarls Barkley)
17 Ryan Ross (Panic! At The Disco)
18 Carl Barat (Dirty Pretty Things)
19 Jack White (The White Stripes/The Raconteurs)
20 Jamie Frost (The Automatic)
21 Serge Pizzorno (Kasabian)
22 Eugene Hutz (Gogol Bordello)
23 Albert Hammond Jr (The Strokes)
24 Meg White (The White Stripes)
25 Jay-Z
26 Keith Richards (The Rolling Stones)
27 Matt Bellamy (Muse)
28 Pete Doherty (Babyshambles)
29 Brandon Flowers (The Killers)
30 Statik
31 Richard Hawley
32 Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys)
33 Vincent Vincent (Vincent Vincent & The Villains)
34 Lupe Fiasco
35 Alexis Taylor (Hot Chip)
36 Mike Patton
37 Jamie Williams (Tilly & The Wall)
38 Bobby Gillespie (Primal Scream)
39 Mike Skinner (The Streets)
40 Ali Love
41 Tunde Adebimpe (TV On The Radio)
42 Mince (The Fratellis)
43 Devendra Banhart
44 Sam Duckworth (Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly)
45 Victoria Bergman (Ex-The Concretes)
46 Jackie McKeown (1990s)
47 George Barnett (These New Puritans)
48 Cat Power
49 Thorunn Antonia (Fields)
50 Amy Winehouse

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

do Plan B do a Cool List?

Cool: Not paying your writers
Uncool: Paying your writers

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Tuesday, 21 November 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

Kieren Webster (The View)

Would you know this non entity if he was on the front cover of "the fly"?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

who? George Barnett (These New Puritans)

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

31 Richard Hawley

y'see the trick is to NOT be cool...

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 17:18 (nineteen years ago)

50 Amy Winehouse

Do these people not have televisions or something?

― chap who would dare to welcome our new stingray masters (chap), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

Beth Ditto: Am I cool, kids?
DJ Martian: (dismissive) No.
Beth Ditto: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool, not caring, right?
DJ Martian: (dismissive) No.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Tuesday, 21 November 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

Martian, "let go".

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

Is Beth Ditto considered particularly uncool? Why?

― brr (fandango), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 18:07 (nineteen years ago)

i think she's pretty cool by most people's standards.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 18:17 (nineteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6172794.stm

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

That new Jarvis record is terrible.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

He's nicking my songs. Again.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:27 (nineteen years ago)

Funny how the BBC site mentions how Beth Ditto is the coolest rock star then shows a picture of Lily Allen instead.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

NME editor Conor McNicholas said: "This year's Cool List is a testament to the raft of hugely talented women who have taken hold of the music scene in 2006."

"From Beth to Lily to Karen, they've brought new energy to a scene dominated by men.

"They're also living proof that you can still rock a crowd when you're wearing stilettos."

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:33 (nineteen years ago)

perhaps on December 1st we can have a list thread of women who wear stilettos while 'rocking a crowd' on stage.

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

Man, Connor Mack just can't wait to follow his predecessor into the world of cheap wank rags, huh?

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

Cool: Not paying your writers
Uncool: Paying your writers

plan b have begun paying contributors, dom.

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:41 (nineteen years ago)

Does Word Magazine really only get 7,000 readers an issue more than you these days? And will there be a merger if you close the gap further?

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

me? do you mean loose lips?

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

if word is selling only 7000 more than loose lips, i would be flabbergasted.

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

Bono & Green Day - in 2006 who cares

Judging from 2004 album sales by both bands: Quite a lot of people.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

compiling Cool Lists = NOT COOL

― braveclub (braveclub), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

ILM COOL LIST 2006

1. Black people

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

2. Whichever commissioning editor you'd slagged off merely two weeks ago who's now offering you work on DUBSTEP~!

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

in 2006 who cares

Judging from 2004 album sales

PRECISELY

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

Green Day + US < Westlife, remember?

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

U2 lol freudian

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

actually cool people on that list:

1 Beth Ditto (The Gossip)
5 Karen O (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
10 Lovefoxxx (CSS)
16 Cee-Lo (Gnarls Barkley)
25 Jay-Z
34 Lupe Fiasco
48 Cat Power
50 Amy Winehouse

actual coolest person to have existed this year: ellen allien

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

Well, just because it's the oughties doesn't mean that nobody cares about bands that were around in the 90s or earlier. Lots of people do indeed care more about those than about new and "hip" acts.

Unlike whatever NME "next big thing" darlings they may put on their next cover, U2 and Green Day have already proved lasting appeal. But I guess some people are against the idea of something having lasting appeal at all (Does this mean that members of different generations may like the same music??? Oh God forbid! Don't ever let that disaster happen!!!!!)

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:57 (nineteen years ago)

what's cool about this woman?

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:58 (nineteen years ago)

Geir Explains It All

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 13:58 (nineteen years ago)

Lex, if you think Lupe Fiasco's cool, you'd probably pop a cork at some of the hep cats in attendance at your local cosplay convention.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

Karen O tries too hard, she's like a pantomime rock star.

― braveclub (braveclub), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

fucking karen o. lame.

i would be shocked and stunned if word only sold 7,000 more than plan b.

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

i don't pay attention to what karen o is like on stage or in interviews or in person, but i love her voice on the yeah yeah yeahs album. that's cool enough for me!

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

also, i don't much like rock stars, so it stands to reason that i'd like a pantomime version of one.

lupe fiasco is CUTE.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

Deciding how cool someone is based entirely on their music:

Seven letters:

-o-k-sm

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

also, i don't much like rock stars, so it stands to reason that i'd like a pantomime version of one.

pete doherty!

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

Dorkasm?

New word!

― braveclub (braveclub), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

cockism

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

The bi-monthly magazine Plan B, edited by esteemed Melody Maker journalist Everett True, still does not have office space, but through eight issues since June 2004 it has comfortably reached the impressive circulation of 25,000.

Word Magazine

This summary report refers to the period 01-Jan-2006 to 30-Jun-2006.
This report was approved by the ABC on 17-Aug-2006.

Heading Detail
Publisher Name: Development Hell LTD
Magazine Classification: Music:Other
ABC Primary Figure: 35,142

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

'esteemed'

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:17 (nineteen years ago)

deciding on how good someone's music is depending upon how cool they are, on the other hand...

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

if that's true, then good on 'em. (xxpost)

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:24 (nineteen years ago)

Is Loose Lips Sinks Ships ever going to have a new issue out?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

If U2 and Green Day were so hot they wouldn't have to record Skids covers to get a hit!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha just noticed

"My Chemical Brothers"

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

STEP AWAY STEVEM

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

Wrist Slashin' Beats

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

'If You Kling To Me, You'll Never Hear The End Of It'

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

OMG guys GUESS WHAT...when you say "NME" out loud it sounds like you're saying "ENEMY"!

― stoked for the madness (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

LOCK THREAD

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:47 (nineteen years ago)

11 Paul Simonon (The Good, The Bad & The Queen)

This is wrong, he's cool for The Clash, not for some band that have released one single and a couple of 'secret' gigs.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

The Good, The Bad & The Queen suck
The Good, The Bad & The Queen suck
The Good, The Bad & The Queen suck
And The Clash sucked too

― lol anal cunt lyrics amirite? (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

Thrusting Thatcherkids may not necessarily have heard of the Clash.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

Have I ever told ILX the story of how when Strummer pegged it, Radio 1's opening headline was "The lead singer of a band who influenced U2 has died"?

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

lucky them

xpost

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

joe strummer is dead?!?!?!

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

who is joe strummer?

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

He was the lead singer of Racey.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

(http://www.walkingskeleton.com/images/careometer.jpg)

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

i've never heard of racey!

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

xxpost

No he wasn't Lex, they're teasing you. Ian Curtis was the lead singer of Racey, Joe Strummer was the lead singer of Matchbox.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

Is Loose Lips Sinks Ships ever going to have a new issue out?

yes, some time early next year. we're also putting on 2 gigs in december - details at http://llss.tv


― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

i like the quote fratelli's vs. the horrors as that I've never heard of either, but in NME land they appear to be worthy of a headline

― pernicus (pernicus), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

No he wasn't Lex, they're teasing you. Ian Curtis was the lead singer of Racey, Joe Strummer was the lead singer of Matchbox.

ha, i can never tell when people are LYING or not. matt dc always lies. i've never heard of matchbox either though.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

we're also putting on 2 gigs in december - details at http://llss.tv

Where/what is the other one?

― braveclub (braveclub), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS
....kiss the yuletide sky
SCOUT NIBLETT
TODD
VIKING MOSES
TENEBROUS
Friday December 22nd
the Luminaire
£5.00 advance
£6.00 door
www.theluminaire.com

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

come one, come all!

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

even noel gallagher's a fan

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:39 (nineteen years ago)

Has Lex heard of Noel Gallagher?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:42 (nineteen years ago)

no-one seems to be giving reasons why this woman is cool, except basically: she's a lesbian, and she's physically unattractive in a world where looks rule. the janis joplin comparisons suggest it ain't about the music.

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:42 (nineteen years ago)

who's YOUR cool list #1 benrique?

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

Chris Burney from Bowling for Soup is exactly 271,922 times cooler than Beth Ditto, plus he's fatteyer and uglier and, you know, has been involved with some songs that aren't shit.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

The Gossip>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Bowling for Soup.

― braveclub (braveclub), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

who's YOUR cool list #1 benrique?
-- 2 american 4 u (n...), November 22nd, 2006.

no self-respecting internet hipster would have a "cool list". what is this, myspace?

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

Since when were you a hipster?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

http://home.indy.rr.com/mcurley/mattemotes/sarcasm.jpg

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

i can't decide if i like The Gossip's cover of 'Are You That Somebody' or not.

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

beth ditto isn't unattractive, really. fat, but not particularly ugly. really good eyes.

also, she's got an amazing voice - it's v rare to hear a gospel-trained instrument of real power in indie music (well, it's rare to hear someone who can HIT NOTES AT ALL in indie music). i'm not too keen on the music - the gossip remind me of the bellrays, an amazingly cool frontperson hampered by bogstandard guitar sludge - EXCEPT their one classic song per album ('nite', 'standing in the way of control') which alone would make them classic (cos who cares about albums innit).

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

i can't decide if i like The Gossip's cover of 'Are You That Somebody' or not.

despite everything i said i really disapprove of this and can't envision it being anything other than bull-in-china-shop unsubtlety. i like the gossip and beth ditto's cool but seriously STEP THE FUCK OFF AALIYAH AND SHOW SOME RESPECT.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 15:57 (nineteen years ago)

who is aaliyah?

― pscott (elwisty), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

She had a hit in 1981 with "Japanese Boy."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

Beth Ditto - Has own style.
Karen O - Has own stylist.
Ellen Allien - Has own fashion line, ironing forbidden :)

― brr (fandango), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

dry clean only?

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

oh she's on my cool list, if i had one.

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

hang out to freeze dry over east/west divide

― brr (fandango), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

who is aaliyah?

the greatest artist of our generation

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

Did she do RnB?

― Bidfurd (Bidfurd), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

You sure you're not mixing up Aaliyah with Lucien Freud?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

Did M.I.A. forget to register?

― brr (fandango), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

i think i heard the song she did with sonic youth. that was good. and did she do rip it up and start again? that was good as well.

― pscott (elwisty), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

No, Rip It Up And Start Again was Vicki Sue Robinson.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:22 (nineteen years ago)

marcello do you like northern lights by renaissance? i'm suprised it hasn't cropped up on pick of the pops yet.

― pscott (elwisty), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:25 (nineteen years ago)

Hated it. Loathed it. Especially when Annie Haslam was interviewed in MM at the time and complained about other acts on TOTP when they were on, e.g. "Who is this Jilted John? I'm sorry, but that is NOT MUSIC." Fuck you, then and now.

Mind you, on POTP Dale would probably play "Northern Lights" and not "Jilted John."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

I quite liked Northern Lights. Until just now.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

I don't know what Roy Wood ever saw in her.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

); they're both great songs imo. it's really odd to think of them being on the same TOTP though... i reckon dale would play jilted john it's not that likely to scare the horses in 2006... is it?

― pscott (elwisty), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

Remember you're talking about the Sunday Radio 2 demographic in the context of Parkinson, Elaine Paige And Her Showtunes, Richard Baker and David "Hallo Thar" Jacobs so elderly horses with weak hearts are likely to be very easily scared.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 23 November 2006 08:44 (nineteen years ago)

yay for beth

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Thursday, 23 November 2006 08:59 (nineteen years ago)

The Gossip>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Bowling for Soup.

-- braveclub (fishohfis...), November 22nd, 2006. (braveclub) (later)

Wrongest ILX poste ever.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 23 November 2006 12:33 (nineteen years ago)

Believe me, I've seen both bands live, and I know of what I speak.

― braveclub (braveclub), Thursday, 23 November 2006 12:34 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.boomspeed.com/henngin/bethditto2.jpg

"Driving in a Trans-Am/ Does a mullet make a man?"

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 23 November 2006 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

i agree with braveclub, but then i think BFS are one of the five worst bands of all time

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Thursday, 23 November 2006 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

haha beth is wearing a missy t-shirt! hurrah.

bfs are ghastly, obviously.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 23 November 2006 13:04 (nineteen years ago)

indies have been digging on missy since '97.

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 23 November 2006 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

Lex being exhibit #1.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Thursday, 23 November 2006 13:09 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.drownedinsound.com/articles/1335688

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Thursday, 23 November 2006 15:48 (nineteen years ago)

personally I don't think a bunch of people sitting in an office drinking tea, inventing musical genres, and watching Nathan Barley DVDs are leading any kind of cool brigade, do you?

she should come to ilx.

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 23 November 2006 15:52 (nineteen years ago)

unfamiliar twinge of grudging respect for Lallen

― Mickey Neuman Snr (Ferg), Thursday, 23 November 2006 15:52 (nineteen years ago)

L'ALLEN OTM!

― standing in the way of control-alt-delete (fandango), Thursday, 23 November 2006 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

"I mean how fucking patronising. Is that all we are, stilleto-wearing people? Is that all he could say, that we brought a 'new energy' to the music scene? Don't make me sick. We've always been here, you arrogant prick. This was your chance to actually show you meant it. And instead you put Muse on the cover, 'cause you thought that your readers might not buy a magazine with an overweight lesbian and a not-particularly-attractive-looking me on the front. Wankers.

"You should take your heads out of your New Rave arses, and actually think about your responsibilities to youth culture, and to women in general."

Fantastic. Are you still anti this woman, Marcello?

― Venga (Venga), Thursday, 23 November 2006 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

about your responsibilities to youth culture

ok gran!

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 23 November 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

I'm going to e-mail the NME now, asking why Dom Passantino didn't make the cool list.

http://static.flickr.com/104/292188855_f42b0713f4.jpg

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 23 November 2006 15:58 (nineteen years ago)

I mean how fucking patronising.

Because when you want an expert on being a fucking patronising bitch, you call Lily Allen!

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:00 (nineteen years ago)

(Not to say the NME waz right or anything, she's just full of bullshit and that clouds any good points she might have...)

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

Hang on, Lex has heard of Beth Ditto?

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

re: lily, sheer class, top marks, spot on. if only she could bring that same spirit to her records.

this was a very strange addition to the cool list...

36 Mike Patton

much as I love the guy, I had no idea why he should have been there, as it's not as if NME even give his work the barest of glances. but a trip to the supermarket's magazine-browsing shelf reveals he's 'cool' for slagging off wolfmother in an interview (which is fair enough. they are a pile of monkeycock), and not for the three great albums he released this year.

feh, NME, feh! very poor!

― mister the guanoman (mister the guanoman), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:03 (nineteen years ago)

Have women always been "cool" or is this a recent development?

― braveclub (braveclub), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:03 (nineteen years ago)

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Wrong end of the Glowstick . NME rant
Current mood: aggravated

I probably shouldn't be writing this , but I have to get it off my chest . I am not a big fan of the NME , as they sold me down the river when I last talked to them , I did and interview and made a sarcastic joke using the word "gak" which is slang for cocaine . They glorified my joke and used it out of context , then their public relations dept , contacted the tabloids in a shameful attempt to sell more copies . And , I have ever since been known as " Lily Allen , Pint sized potty mouth popstar who once admitted she would celebrate her no 1 single by taking cocaine ! " .
Thanks NME . Now , I have read many articles in the NME , where male band members freely admit to, or associate themselves with the taking of drugs , and I havent seen many of them ending up in the tabloids . Take Klaxons for example, and the ongoing MDMA references. " MDMAZING " I believe was the title of a recent article ( how responsible! ) .
The only reason I can think of , for recieving such a different form of treatment , is because I am a woman . I did recieve a written apology from Conor Mcnicholas ( the editor) . But i vowed never to work with the NME agian . As I thought, if there was one publication I could trust and be frank with , it would be the theirs .

Anyway , I was aproached by them again , with regards to the "Cool List Issue 2006" , five women had made it into the top 10 and , subsequently we (the women) were asked to pose for photos to be the main feature for the cover . As I said before , I vowed not to work with them again , but as the context was so important ie; a a strong female presence in music . I thought i might aswell put aside my differences and do it . Now i don't care for " the cool list " , and I said this to them in the interview , which is probably why they didn't print it . I don't really think the NME are in any position to tell us who is cool and who isn't , personally I don't think a bunch of people sitting in an office drinking tea , inventing musical genres , and watching Nathan Barley DVD's are leading any kind of cool brigade , do you ?
But i did find it interesting that they wanted to put five women on the cover , and wanted to name 2006 , our year .

I went to get a copy yesterday , and this is what we ( the women ) got . Another fuckin MUSE cover . I like Muse , infact , Black Holes and Revelations , is one of my favourite albums of this year . But the NME have covered them so much this year already .

Now usually you might expect a call , just out of courtousy telling us we had been pulled off the cover , but we recieved nothing .

This is Conors ( the editors) comments on this issue , He has obviusly put out some press release , stating how supportive the NME is to women in music

Conor McNicholas, the editor of NME, said he was pleased that the Cool List was full of women who had brought "new energy" to the music world.

"This year's Cool List is a testament to the raft of hugely talented women who have taken hold of the music scene in 2006," he said. "From Beth to Lily to Karen, they've brought new energy to a scene dominated by men. They're also living proof that you can still rock a crowd when you're wearing stilettos."

I mean how fucking patronising " you can still rock a crowd wearing stilletos "
Is that all we are , stilleto wearing people , is that all he could say ,that we brought a " new energy" to the music scene . Don't make me sick , wev'e always been here you arrogant prick , this was your chance to actually show you meant it . And instead you put Muse on the cover . Cause you thought that your readers might not buy a magazine with an overweight lesbian and a not particularly attractive looking me , on the front . Wankers .

You should take your heads out of you New Rave arses , and actually think about your responsibilities to youth culture , and to women in general .

Oh and by the way , theres not enough RAVE in New Rave .

11:51 AM - 275 Comments - 266 Kudos - Add Comment

― standing in the way of control-alt-delete (fandango), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

Have women always been "cool" or is this a recent development?

According to the NME, it happened sometime earlier this year.

According to Lily Allen, it happened when Lily Allen starts making records!

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

personally I don't think a bunch of people sitting in an office drinking tea, inventing musical genres, and watching Nathan Barley DVDs are leading any kind of cool brigade, do you?

she should come to ilx.

We have an office?

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

Welp, "I like Muse , infact , Black Holes and Revelations , is one of my favourite albums of this year" and "theres not enough RAVE in New Rave" totally destroys any good points she might have.

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

Lily OTM obv.

re that Dom photo

how did Frank Skinner get on the cover of Time?

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

Have women always been "cool" or is this a recent development?

According to the NME, it happened sometime earlier this year.

According to Lily Allen, it happened when Lily Allen starts making records!

-- wordy rappaport (estiebuttez...) (webmail), November 23rd, 2006 4:05 PM. (EstieButtez1) (later) (link)

Don't make me sick , wev'e always been here you arrogant prick

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

Fantastic. Are you still anti this woman, Marcello?

From her Times Magazine "interview" last Saturday:
"I don't get out of bed for anyone, you know."

Two years from now she'll wish she had.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, Lily.

I wondered howcome, that the first time I saw the "Gak" 'joke' was in the Sun, and the second time was in the NME.

I'm reading Stuart Maconie's book at the moment, he harks back to the late eighties days when the 'highbrow' writing style was haemorraging NME readership. Back then, they'd have shot someone who'd sold out copy to the Sun. Now, it's company policy.

That's what would make me stop buying it!

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

Having said all that, you can't say on the one hand "Oh the cool list is unimportant" and then complain they didn't put it on the front cover.

Mind you, in past years they made it the main feature on the front page.

Maybe next year they won't have one.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

Don't make me sick , wev'e always been here you arrogant prick

-- i am not a nugget (stevieisdrinkingdosequi...), November 23rd, 2006. (stevie)

I await the day when Lily Allen recognises ANY female that has come before and paved the way for her.

But I'm not holding my breath for it.

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

but you're awaiting it. it's something you're actively waiting for.

― benrique (Enrique), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:18 (nineteen years ago)

Why is her fucking music so shit tho?

― gekoppel (Gekoppel), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

but you're awaiting it. it's something you're actively waiting for.

Only for the comedic value that will come out of it.

― wordy rappaport (EstieButtez1), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

From her Times Magazine "interview" last Saturday:
"I don't get out of bed for anyone, you know."

I don't suppose most people would

― Feargal Hixxy (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

hang on, mark grout buys the nme?

― pscott (elwisty), Thursday, 23 November 2006 16:32 (nineteen years ago)

I've not read any proper Allen interviews so have not heard talk about any artists, men or women, that 'paved the way' for her. I'm not sure who they would be either. Apart from her Dad obv.

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Thursday, 23 November 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

Having said all that, you can't say on the one hand "Oh the cool list is unimportant" and then complain they didn't put it on the front cover.

Mind you, in past years they made it the main feature on the front page.

it seems a fair complaint all things considered.

out of interest how many women HAVE been on the NME cover this year?

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Thursday, 23 November 2006 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

enrique, you just need to hear "standing in the way of control" to know why Beth Ditto is so cool.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 23 November 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

xpost - or black people?

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 23 November 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

i suppose NME would argue that there aren't any bands as big and famous as Muse, Franz, Kaisers etc. that are female-fronted let alone all women.

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Thursday, 23 November 2006 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

vicious circle really

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Thursday, 23 November 2006 17:16 (nineteen years ago)


go lily.

― pisces (piscesx), Thursday, 23 November 2006 18:41 (nineteen years ago)

haha lallen otm! "responsibilities to youth culture" nonsense notwithstanding she is quite right.

Oh and by the way , theres not enough RAVE in New Rave .

this is PARTICULARLY otm.

nme = most racist, sexist publication of all.

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 23 November 2006 18:49 (nineteen years ago)

nme = most racist, sexist publication of all.

*cough* daily mail *cough*

― mister the guanoman (mister the guanoman), Thursday, 23 November 2006 18:51 (nineteen years ago)

nme = daily mail of music

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 23 November 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

at least the daily mail virtually ADMITS it

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 23 November 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

I Just Bought A Copy of 'Nuts'

― pscott (elwisty), Thursday, 23 November 2006 19:29 (nineteen years ago)

incidentally what is it about the NME that you consider racist and sexist? I'm not being facetious...I haven't read it for years, not since the steve sutherland days, probably.

― mister the guanoman (mister the guanoman), Thursday, 23 November 2006 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

it's as racist and sexist as the industry it documents and the readers it caters for...

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Friday, 24 November 2006 00:01 (nineteen years ago)

It's just dull.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 24 November 2006 00:17 (nineteen years ago)

Lily is OTM.

Another gobsmackingly ignorant comment came from the NME's Krissi Murrison in today's Independent:

"She's one of the first really talented lesbian musicians that we've seen for some time."

I mean, hello?

― Stew (stew s), Friday, 24 November 2006 00:17 (nineteen years ago)

ROFL.

― Dan Barramouss (jimnaseum), Friday, 24 November 2006 00:38 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...
how punchable are "The View" ?

http://www.nme.com/images/84_nmecovertheview_L080107.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 9 January 2007 20:35 (nineteen years ago)

NME = BOR-RING!

― GLC (ZakAce), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 03:48 (nineteen years ago)

what were the other 9 bands?

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 03:52 (nineteen years ago)

b, l, o, c, p, a, r, t, y

― friday on the porch (lfam), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 04:38 (nineteen years ago)

i had a 7" by A. it wasn't very good

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 04:51 (nineteen years ago)

Oi, The View, get your hair cut. Better still, get your head cut.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 08:25 (nineteen years ago)

Now now, gentlemen, let's not leap to judgement!

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 08:27 (nineteen years ago)

Already I detest them for not having short back and sides and for not wearing suits and ties.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 08:28 (nineteen years ago)

Already I detest them for their awful lad-pop records.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 08:32 (nineteen years ago)

The tall one at the back has almost the same hair as I did before I had it cut the other day!

Raw Patrick probably OTM, however; they seem the sort of band about whom you can leap to judgement having heard a mere 5 seconds of their music. And that in itself's a LOJ. Argh.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 08:34 (nineteen years ago)

the view are a lot of fun live, and the record's very good [caveat ahoy] at what it does. i'd say they're a no-brainer for success this year.

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 10:26 (nineteen years ago)

stevie over on the other place, on a thread about the nme / terris / strokesocalypse you made a reference to being considered "a bit of a joke" at the nme, what did you mean? i have been trying to sort of work it out from what i remember of yr stuff back then (i was reading nme cover to cover in them days) and i can't see any reason. i guess office politics or summat...

aren't the the view the ones who declared "what's so cool about being a fat dyke anyway?" from the stage? i read it in the London Lite. it made me rather queasy.

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

On the contrary, I can make a snap judgement about them having heard NOTHING

(xpost to Louis)

― you win again, gravity! (tissp), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:15 (nineteen years ago)

Kerrang is worse this week. According to them Biffy Clyro is the band who will change your life.

(mind you I suppose it didn't actually sayfor the better)

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:19 (nineteen years ago)

Still going are they? Good heavens.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.nme.com/images/84_NMEcover_panicatthedisco_L2.jpg

This one, from mid-October 2006, strikes me as being so absolutely SMASH HITS CIRCA 1986 that it almost hurts.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

Birmingham scene = Ocean Colour Scene

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:39 (nineteen years ago)

Birmingham's current local band scene may be the worst in the country.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

"Take two copies of Smash Hits into the shower?"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

Birmingham's current local band scene may be the worst in the country.
-- Dom Passantino (juror...), January 10th, 2007.

how do you know?

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:42 (nineteen years ago)

ie doe sit compare badly to the, like, cirencester scene?

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:42 (nineteen years ago)

wasn't smash hits circa 1986 recently much lauded when said pop journal folded?

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

shit moves fast at this url, bub.

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:44 (nineteen years ago)

Cirencester band with the most Myspace hits:

http://www.myspace.com/aerielcarthief

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.multinet.no/~jonarne/Hjemmesia/Favorittartister/the_alarm/smash_hits_1986.jpg

"Contemporary AOR is bullshit. We want to be the new XTC"

― reverto levidensis (blueski), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:48 (nineteen years ago)

The Alarm and their "Spirit Of '76" and even then I was yelling LET GO PEOPLE

The golden pop age of Hollywood Beyond, Nick Berry and It Bites.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.gastonx.net/Zitrone/800025.jpg

― reverto levidensis (blueski), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:50 (nineteen years ago)

golden age

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

googling NME 1986 brings up several 1991 covers for some reason

― reverto levidensis (blueski), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

omg

everything about that cover is hysterical

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:52 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.poplife.info/Bilder/213087.JPG

reppin' Lovebug Starski 4 da popists

― reverto levidensis (blueski), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:53 (nineteen years ago)

EASTENDERS... BREL

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

genius

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:57 (nineteen years ago)

i'm pretty sure mark s wrote at least some of that attali-related nme noise piece

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 15:57 (nineteen years ago)

i wasn't allowed near it!! it wz mostly biba, with a slather of don w. -- i only knew abt it when it came out

(i wz still v.v.v.low on peckin order in 1986) (not that i wz ever high, nme-wise)

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

What a strange year 86' was, next week BROOKSIDE - BOGSHED - SHIRLEY BROWN - EURYTHMICS

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:03 (nineteen years ago)

aren't the the view the ones who declared "what's so cool about being a fat dyke anyway?" from the stage? i read it in the London Lite. it made me rather queasy.

NO! that was the pigeon detectives, arctic monkeys ripoffs with cold black holes where their souls should be. (though, for the sake of accuracy, he said "lesbian" and not "dyke")

that sonic youth NME cover is amazing

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

read the coverlines and catch the scent of the coming hiphop wars!

bein an editor: it's all abt weakly panderin to difft embattled office factions popkidz!

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

Still going are they? Good heavens.

Exactly what I thought.
Then I thought the same about Snow Patrol last year and now they have the biggest selling album of 2006.

Scary!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

amazingly bad, but still better than many 00s offerings upthread (xpost2)

― reverto levidensis (blueski), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

read the coverlines and catch the scent of the coming hiphop wars!

The Emo wars took off even less than the Paris Hilton Wars©
did. Not that the NME would be interested in that one.
NME needs a good war, what could it be?


© The Lex

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

somalia

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

The Emo wars took off even less than the Paris Hilton Wars©

Not really, as recently as last week the Observer was doing a forthcoming look at the year piece that include some kinda "Ooooh, proper manly bands featuring manly men like Kasabian will helpfully save us from the poofy kids in eyeliner".

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:12 (nineteen years ago)

the SY photo is tremendous actually, very energetic and dynamic, and works much better IRL -- very faded now and-plus always poorly served by dull inkie repro

the type looks REALLY lumpen w.hindsight -- at the time that cover felt unusually stark and minimalist-modernist, let down mainly by the content of the words

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:12 (nineteen years ago)

bein an editor: it's all abt weakly panderin to difft embattled office factions popkidz!

I pity the sadsack who was in the Dr & The Medics faction.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

office wars are actually very much not the same as critical wars -- this is the bitter lesson i learnt that year

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

bein an editor: it's all abt weakly panderin to difft embattled office factions popkidz!

I pity the sadsack who was in the Dr & The Medics faction.

Or Lawnmower Deth

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

dr & medics = no.1 in actual real pop chart (clumsy public reach-round for w.h.smiths randoms)
lawnmower deth = probably no.1 in "indie" chart (clumsy pr-r for whatever-metal randoms)

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

86 is pretty much the turnaround year for nme as a recognised showcase for [bogus word alert] really excellent photographers -- its rep for this had been deserved and was pissed away in next to no time

(from a circulation POV this rep had probably been a net drag of course -- corbijn-esque artiness no match for the tabs' gradual realisation sleb-snapping was theirs to conquer)

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:27 (nineteen years ago)

haha sorry the bogus word was "groundbreaking" -- so bogus i couldn't bear to click submit!

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

i remember the 1986 indie charts and mighty lemon drops were number one for something like 50 out of 52 weeks!

actually this period was about the last period of the nme which appealed to me since the thematic/people-free covers foresee mark s' protoblog wire

(relevant office fractions in the latter, if i understand it correctly:
editor: fule this is the future!
publisher: sell copies)

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:36 (nineteen years ago)

i feel sad that there isn't any room these days for don watson and his ballard-reading train journeys

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:37 (nineteen years ago)

the SY photo is tremendous actually, very energetic and dynamic, and works much better IRL -- very faded now and-plus always poorly served by dull inkie repro

it reminds me of a lot of steve gullick's stuff, like the cover for the second Careless Talk, or the live shots from Loose Lips covers... i love that style of photography.

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

ok. when / if connor m goes onto the great broadsheet job / executive position what chance is there a new editor would / would be allowed to turn the nme "around"...

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

it's doing quite well now circulation-wise to the zane lowe crowd isn't it? they probably won't feel any pressing need to turn it around.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

that's half the question, sort of. i'm guessing the money men will recruit the next ed. from Nuts rather than Plan B or summat...

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

I've said it before, NME's basically the Newcastle United of the music magazine world, something with that much history and, more importantly, that much money to burn should be doing a lot better than "slightly below average".

The budget for Kerrang is around a third of the NME's, right?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

lex as editor debuting with a sally shapiro cover might not be what ipc are looking for.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

are you talking circulation there dom?

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:56 (nineteen years ago)

Nuts to NME would be a step-down though, unless the NME just appoints a Nuts staff writer to the position. Which, well, they won't.

Imran Ahmed is my guess. Joy.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:56 (nineteen years ago)

xp Circulation, yeah.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:56 (nineteen years ago)

he's gone to radio now hasn't he? i'm sure i saw he had a show on 6music.

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, but 6Music mid-table jock to NME editor is a step-up, stinnit?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:58 (nineteen years ago)

He was hosting the documentary slot on Radio 1 whilst he was writing for the NME, anyway, so he's got history of doing both.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 16:58 (nineteen years ago)

i was thinking though he could just jump the editorship and go on to a higher profile broadcast media position. possibly.

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:03 (nineteen years ago)

Who the fuck is Imran Ahmed?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

No matter how often it happens, every time I see "The Mighty Lemon Drops" I always go "fucking hell I'd forgotten all about them!"

I'll have forgotten again by the next time someone mentions them, even if it's tomorrow.

― onimo (onimo), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

it's real poisoned-chalice time at the moment -- mcnicholas has done well enough at the things publishers appear to like ("re-establishing the brand") that successors wanting to introduce tweaky content-improvements will be discouraged from trying (or even applying for the job)

it needs to be in a total circn AND content tailspin to be "turned around" -- then someone actually smart might step and risk all (bcz they have little to lose; they won't be blamed for a disaster already in place)

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

how NME fares depends (too much) on where Bwitish Wock goes next surely.

― reverto levidensis (blueski), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

I prefer the '91 issue ("Walsall Pact!", "A Rabbit With Hutch", "Punt's Not Dead!"). I, for one, welcomed our Quantick/Collins/Maconie overlords.

Imran Ahmed only has a one hour weekend show on 6Music I think. Just as well really, as he has a painfully stilted delivery as if he's tracing his finger along the line as he reads his script out.

― DavidM* (unreal), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

yes but it needn't! the wire used to be a jazz mag!

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:11 (nineteen years ago)

surely they have some chicken egg thing going on with Bwitish Wock (i first read this as some sort of jibe along the lines of NME is the market competitor of practical cooking magazine or summat) they can, by sticking to very narrow parameters always find what they are looking for. i mean 5 years ago saying "oh there jus another NME band" didn't mean that much but now folks say it all the time. well some do. maybe there are gaggles of long haired lads setting out to fuffil connor's accountants wet dreams. there ambition for a cover feature halping them to tick each box with accuarcy and dilligance. it's brand management.

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

oh and for nick http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onemusic/journalist/profilesp05.shtml

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

the wire used to be a jazz mag!
-- mark s (mar...) (webmail), Today 5:11 PM. (later) (link)

[big heavy moderator edit, prob]

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:21 (nineteen years ago)

every time I see "The Mighty Lemon Drops" I always go "fucking hell I'd forgotten all about them!"

There is a very good reason for this.

― Clothing the Gotterdammerung Doors (noodle vague), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

I just searched and found them on a "forgotten bands" thread :)

― onimo (onimo), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

the pigeon detectives are much better than the arctic monkeys (although maybe not if they're going to go round dissing beth)

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 23:04 (nineteen years ago)

i looked at the magazine in the co-op. fucking hell there tips for the year... so the story goes the strokes begat the libertines the libertines begat the arctic monkeys now... we have the post monkeys diaspora... jesus as i remember the twang, the view, the pigoen detectives and like 5 others, two token bands with girls in... does anyone remember the post libertines wave, the others and the rakes being the most succesful. jesus. this is getting sort of scary.

― acrobat (elwisty), Friday, 12 January 2007 15:21 (nineteen years ago)

http://imagebank.ipcmedia.com/imageBank/c/conor%20mcnicholas%20apr%2006%20.jpg

HOT

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 14 January 2007 22:42 (nineteen years ago)

no way were the others successful

― PAUL FUCKING ROBINSON (electricsound), Sunday, 14 January 2007 22:55 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't read the whole thread, but did anyone ever pinpoint when the NME covers became so terrible? I've determined 1975 was the year Rolling Stone covers turned to crap. However, even the worst Rolling Stone covers are better than any NME cover from the last few years at least.

― musically (musically), Sunday, 14 January 2007 23:39 (nineteen years ago)

The NME have changed their website, no unique weekly jpg, now the front cover image is formatted in php and the details of each week's issue has a [long] permalink.

http://www.nme.com/layout/magImage.php

This week's NME features My Chemical Romance and a cluttered front cover
http://tinyurl.com/2rbek6

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:10 (nineteen years ago)

http://img471.imageshack.us/img471/1254/untitled13ff.jpg

copy & paste into photoshop, upload to imageshack...

― fandango (fandango), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 20:20 (nineteen years ago)

Right. The "Secret" pain at the heart of MCR.

― God Bows to Meth (noodle vague), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 21:02 (nineteen years ago)

'it's difficult to watch someone deteriorate'... ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY WERE SHIT TO BEGIN WITH!!11!!!!!1!!

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 10:01 (nineteen years ago)

(hahahaha!)

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 10:08 (nineteen years ago)

again the amount of text per double-page is really quite impressive:

http://www.nme.com/images/84_mcr1.jpg

― vita susicivus (blueski), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 10:37 (nineteen years ago)

i hope the article DOESN'T continue overleaf actually.

― vita susicivus (blueski), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

jesus the inside looks like the independent on sunday or something!

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 10:58 (nineteen years ago)

Good to see "1977 punk" finally getting some coverage- the music press has really not looked at this topic enough.

― Neil Stewart (Neil Stewart), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 11:43 (nineteen years ago)

It's remained dormant far too long

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 11:47 (nineteen years ago)

Archival searches of 1977 NME reveal no retrospectives on 1947 ("The spirit of Geraldo lives!").

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 11:48 (nineteen years ago)

That was more Melody Maker, then.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 11:57 (nineteen years ago)

battle of the lightweights

My Chemical Romance Hit Back At Kasabian
Calling the Leicester band 'ignorant'...
http://www.gigwise.com/news.asp?contentid=27128

instead of 1977 punk why aren't the NME doing a 30th celebration of Pink Floyd - Animals
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animals_%28album%29
Released: January 23, 1977 (UK)

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

because it's shit?

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

Calling Kasabian "ignorant" is a little bit like calling My Chemical Romance "ridiculous, pompous, overblown prog-emo", isn't it?

― Neil Stewart (Neil Stewart), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

Kaiser Chiefs...

NME 10.02.2007
http://tinyurl.com/2a24uo

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 21:00 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...
http://img108.imageshack.us/img108/5157/nmemagimagecx8.jpg

― abanana, Monday, 26 February 2007 18:53 (nineteen years ago)

It seems the worst NME cover is always the most recent one.

― billstevejim, Monday, 26 February 2007 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...
Worst for a long time...TWANG
http://www.nme.com/blog/index.php?blog=8&m=200703

― djmartian, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

it looks like they had to distort that photo to fit all those nerds on it

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

I can imagine they've done much worse than that

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

Who is going to be 1st to photoshop TWATS instead?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:28 (nineteen years ago)

NME need to re-format their copy...how's this

Twang - getting wasted with the best NME Chav Indie Band of 2007 for teenage morons - are you thick enough to want some?

― djmartian, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:34 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a380/mattslack/magImage.jpg

― Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 17:23 (eighteen years ago)

yaaaooow!

― blueski, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 17:24 (eighteen years ago)

NME goes Zoo or Nuts

Is this the best or worst front cover?

Beth Ditto naked !

This week's NME
http://tinyurl.com/2vzwuh

is that a photoshop hack or the real deal?

― djmartian, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 17:25 (eighteen years ago)

oh Nick ! got in quick ! [it just arrived in my bloglines]

― djmartian, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 17:26 (eighteen years ago)

next person to piss me off on ILX gets their face photoshopped onto Beth's (face or ass, haven't decided yet).

― blueski, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 17:28 (eighteen years ago)

Actually, that cover is great and a rare example of wit on NME's part.

― Billy Dods, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 19:21 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.spittel-schramberg.de/adobe%20logo.gif

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 19:30 (eighteen years ago)

How is it witty? Also, they have removed most of her lower back.

― Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

lol at the fact that they've had a meeting to discuss how many rolls of fat they can Photoshop out of the picture while still making her recognisably fat.

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 19:49 (eighteen years ago)

Well, it's clearly a play on the Demi Moore Vanity Fair cover and lad's mags, subverting the typical body image found on that (and other) magazines.

Then again they may have just liked the idea of having a naked BBW on the cover.

― Billy Dods, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 19:55 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, if there's one thing you don't associated with emaciated pasty indie boys it's a love of fat girls.

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 19:56 (eighteen years ago)

Ha. She's been on the cover already right? Hope so. I'd rather see her in some sort of ridiculous costume, man's suit whatever. Going nude always seems a cynical or desperate ploy - that 'it's a man's world after all' thing. I can't see this as some liberating feminist statement just because of her figure (as opposed to 'weight').

― blueski, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 19:58 (eighteen years ago)

http://i12.tinypic.com/2uzqbmh.jpg

Photoshopped indeed!

― Finefinemusic, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 20:24 (eighteen years ago)

The message here is not "it's a man's world after all" or some kind of liberating feminist statement. It's quite clearly "Kiss My Ass".

The joke, as I see it is the LOLs at indie music geeks struggling to make sense of it.

― everything, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 20:40 (eighteen years ago)

..plus she strips off to various degrees whenever they play live so it's not much of ploy in this case.

― everything, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 20:43 (eighteen years ago)

Beth Ditto will be appearing on MTV News within the next few days to let us know what Beth Ditto thinks of the Beth Ditto controversy.

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

"controversy"? What is this? 1989?

― everything, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 21:06 (eighteen years ago)

The message here is not "it's a man's world after all" or some kind of liberating feminist statement. It's quite clearly "Kiss My Ass".

going nude doesn't really enhance a 'kiss my ass' message anymore than say...dressing up as a 12ft lizard and pointing a gun at the camera tho right?

― blueski, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 22:59 (eighteen years ago)

Except you get to paint a big kiss mark on her actual ass. And just in case that's not obvious enough, the happily print "Kiss My Ass" in large letters right next to it.

Clear enough for ya?

― everything, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 23:28 (eighteen years ago)

it's not about the (unoriginal, banal) messages they INTEND tho is it.

― blueski, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 23:32 (eighteen years ago)

Yes. Yes it is.

― everything, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 23:34 (eighteen years ago)

No. It's about the messages received, not the ones that are sent. But if you prefer to see the cover as harmless fun with no connotations AT ALL beyond arse value then good luck to you in your gumdrop house on lollipop lane. ADIEU.

― blueski, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 23:48 (eighteen years ago)

If you look closely, it's Paul McCartney who has left the lipstick on Beth's bottom.

― Scik Mouthy, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 08:17 (eighteen years ago)

Loaded magazine has a picture of Harry Hill on the front this month.

Q: Does the editorial crow proudly about breaking convention and having male front page this month?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 08:23 (eighteen years ago)

How the fuck has You've Been Framed presenter Harry Hill have any cultural capital left?

― Scik Mouthy, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 08:25 (eighteen years ago)

But yeah, the NME "Ditto naked" cover screams to me "we're desperate for something to hang a hook on in the absense of any real musical movements; oh, and we're also radical - look, a fat naked lesbian!". It does nothing for 'feminism' because she's still plastered in make-up and airbrushed to within an inch of her life; they've just managed to sexually objectify a fat woman, is all.

― Scik Mouthy, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 08:28 (eighteen years ago)

Also: We're a bit sorry about the "Muse" business before.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 08:32 (eighteen years ago)

there's this program called harry hill's tv burp, nick. it's good. swing by the rolling uk comedy thread on ile one day.

― acrobat, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 08:33 (eighteen years ago)

uh yeah. tv burp is possibly the best show on UK TV.

― jed_, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 08:35 (eighteen years ago)

Let's have a picture of an actual NME writer on this thread:

http://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpg

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 08:35 (eighteen years ago)

From: Dawn Est3fan <dawnest3✧✧✧@tx-me✧✧✧.c✧.u✧>
To: dawnest3✧✧✧@tx-me✧✧✧.c✧.u✧
Date: Wed, 30 May 2007 11:10:28 +0100
Subject: NME EXCLUSIVE BETH DITTO NAKED!/UNI
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1. Multipart:
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2. (paperclip) BethCEllisParrinder.jpg (application/octet-stream), 16 K

IS THE NME SNEAK PREVIEW USEFUL TO YOU?
DO YOU EVER USE THE NME MAG AS A REFERENCE OR WOULD YOU LIKE A MEMBER OF
THE NME TEAM TO COMMENT ON YOUR SHOW
DROP US A LINE AND GIVE US SOME FEEDBACK
WERE ALWAYS HERE TO HELP
Please find attached the NME Exclusive Cover Preview. Beth Ditto does give a
F**k about body image!!!

Yet one of the things Beth Ditto does gives a f*ck about, is body image. So
much so, that Beth recently refused for The Gossip to play instores at
Topshop, citing her dissatisfaction that there isn't a clothes range
available in her size. She even went as far as to offer to design clothes
for them. She's never claimed to promote her body size ("I'm just saying
people should be empowered about who they are," she tells us), yet it's
worth asking, does she feel a responsibility to pick a side in the size zero
debate?
"Not at all," says Beth, immediately. "Things are more complicated than that
- there's too many factors to pick a side. The older I get and the more
models and designers I meet... sometimes models are naturally just thin.
Like, that's their size."
When you talk about meeting models, do you mean Kate Moss?
"Kate is amazing," purrs Beth.
"I spent one night talking to her and she just said the most amazing things
about bodies. At first I didn't think I was going to like her, but she just
turned up to one of our shows and said, 'Do you know what I hate, Beth? When
people tell my big girlfriends, 'You have a beautiful face...'' I mean,
that's a really radical concept."
Do you not think Kate Moss actually has a responsibility to answer to the
size debate, though?
"You can't hate a person for dieting, and you can't blame a person for
feeling shit about themselves. You have to blame the machine that feeds it,
the thing that makes people feel like that. There are lots of things that
are part of that machine, and it's too easy to lay the blame at the feet of
women - men don't know what it feels like to be a woman and be expected to
look a particular way all the time. The Beckhams are part of the machine;
Paris Hilton is part of the machine. There's that thing Paris Hilton said
about Lindsay Lohan - 'You're poor, ugly and fat'. It's always women who are
victims of that machine and the messages the machine gives out."
But surely Kate Moss is that machine?
"I had those conversations with Kate," says Beth, "and Kate agreed with me.
She's a smart person."
Do you think she's happy doing what she's doing?
"I don't know."
But if she agreed with you...
"I have this thing where I don't ever want to bad-mouth a woman. Except for
Paris Hilton." She laughs again. "Please tell me you saw that thing where
she was crying in the newpapers, about her going to prison. It was so funny.
I was laughing until I was crying."
Tell me more about not wanting to bad-mouth women...
Beth speaks quietly again. "I pick and choose my battles. I think
Condoleezza Rice is more of a goddamn shame than Kate Moss, and I think
those are the things people should concentrate on. What I'm saying is that,
if there's anyone to blame for size zero, it's not women. Blame the media.
Blame gay men who work in the fashion industry who want these women as
dolls."
IF YOU GIVE OUR COVER A MENTION DROP US A LINE AND GIVE US SOME FEEDBACK

See ya next week!
Dawn Est3fan - Barker/Tony Barker
TX Media
http://www.tx-media.co.uk <http://www.tx-media.co.uk/&gt;

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 10:30 (eighteen years ago)

beth ditto comes across very well there

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 10:32 (eighteen years ago)

Gay Men/Dolls? hmmm.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 10:37 (eighteen years ago)

yeah! CIO gay men!

― blueski, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 10:46 (eighteen years ago)

Drummer for Gay Dad

― Herman G. Neuname, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 11:11 (eighteen years ago)

Beth Ditto was the drum riser for the rock group Gay Dad.

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 11:12 (eighteen years ago)

Hi, girls!

I'm a femail singer/songwriter. My friends and I want to form a gay girl rock band. We need a guitarist and a bassist to complete our band.
We play indie/punk rock.
Influences: Greenday, Blink 182, A.Lavigne, Razorlight, The View and so on.

If you're a gay girl, who plays a guitar or a bass, please, email me! :o)

― acrobat, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 15:31 (eighteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

CD given free with NME, 13th June 2007
To coincide with Muse's Wembley Gigs on the 16th and 17th June 2007

1. (00:02:28) Lord Buckley - The Train
2. (00:01:20) Gustav Holst - Mars: The Bringer of War
3. (00:03:50) Clor - Good Stuff
4. (00:04:03) The Flaming Lips - The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
5. (00:04:57) Lightning Bolt - Magic Mountain
6. (00:03:09) Shy Child - Generation Y (We Got It)
7. (00:03:05) Death From Above 1979 - Blood On Our Hands
8. (00:03:38) Does It Offend You,Yeah! - Battle Royale
9. (00:04:01) CSS - Alala
10. (00:03:44) Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up To Dry (Live)
11. (00:04:04) Bjork - Triumph of a Heart
12. (00:01:54) Muse - Man of Mystery
13. (00:11:50) Lord Buckley - The Nazz

― Herman G. Neuname, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 17:48 (eighteen years ago)

Didn't Clor split up about two years ago?

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:11 (eighteen years ago)

yeah and holst's DEAD!

― pisces, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:21 (eighteen years ago)

I can't imagine Lightning Bolt agreed to include that from the comments I heard about Muse

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:23 (eighteen years ago)

2. (00:01:20) Gustav Holst - Mars: The Bringer of War

ha ha matt bellamy is such an arsetrumpet.

― Frogman Henry, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:39 (eighteen years ago)

ha ha matt bellamy is such an arsetrumpet.

qft

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:42 (eighteen years ago)

Did Dom Passantino have a wank over that NME cover with Beth Ditto on it?

― acrobat, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:07 (eighteen years ago)

Did he?

― Herman G. Neuname, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 22:19 (eighteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1147/710517578_ada42f6a92_o.jpg

― A B C, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 04:24 (eighteen years ago)

The surprising thing for me is that there picture of Momus' uncle.

― everything, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 04:42 (eighteen years ago)

the Jonny Borrell front cover is slightly more offensive

― blueski, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 10:12 (eighteen years ago)

That's a pretty good and amusing Photoshop.

― King Boy Pato, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 13:57 (eighteen years ago)

Oh god, the cunt's a HMHB fan?

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 13:58 (eighteen years ago)

Oh god, the cunt's a HMHB fan?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

― King Boy Pato, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 14:00 (eighteen years ago)

This is the greatest thing ever.

― King Boy Pato, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 14:00 (eighteen years ago)

hang on this isn't real. this isn't real. this can't be real.

― That one guy that quit, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 14:04 (eighteen years ago)

http://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpg

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 14:06 (eighteen years ago)

the Rolling Stone cover is more of a headfuck

― blueski, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 14:21 (eighteen years ago)

PLUS: Stiltskin!

― King Boy Pato, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 15:55 (eighteen years ago)

fuck yeah what the fuck?

― That one guy that quit, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 16:42 (eighteen years ago)

back to beat Biffy Clyro at a game they weren't even alive at the time to play

― blueski, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 16:44 (eighteen years ago)

NME "New Look" this week, read via:
http://tinyurl.com/2f23hj

The NME, IPC’s weekly music title, is undergoing a redesign this week and introducing a host of new elements.

the slogan should be:

New Look Design, More Crap Music

This week: The View
http://tinyurl.com/2zbk7w

rubbish guitar band are "The New Kings of Scotland" just who were the old kings? The Fratellis?

Are there really people at NME that rate The View or is it a blatant marketing exercise to appeal to teenage morons?

Next week:

"Don't miss next week: The Enemy… lad-rock is back" - a ten rate shambolic "The Jam" for the gormless NME reading teenagers to read about.

― djmartian, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 14:59 (eighteen years ago)

they removed the CLUBS section completely last month. odd considering all the hoo ha about raves an ting.

― pisces, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 15:02 (eighteen years ago)

"Stuff We Love... extends coverage to fashion... "

Uh-oh.

― pisces, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 15:10 (eighteen years ago)

ha, NME want's to be new "The Face" ?

― djmartian, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 15:13 (eighteen years ago)

RIP

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 15:16 (eighteen years ago)

They still had a clubs section?! (xpost)

Oh wait "what the funk is baile funk?" - now that's punnery

― DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 15:16 (eighteen years ago)

the slogan should be:

New Look Design, More Crap Music

do you think that might turn potential readers off, though?

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 15:16 (eighteen years ago)

http://static.sky.com/images/pictures/1558074.jpg

― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 15:17 (eighteen years ago)

"Stuff We Love... extends coverage to fashion... "

http://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpg

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 15:17 (eighteen years ago)

do you think that might turn potential readers off, though?

Viz use slogans like this all the time and their sales have been rising year on year since the early 90s. I say djmartian OTM

― DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 15:22 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.coastaltown.nildram.co.uk/porl/PEELBLASPHEMY.jpg

― Lynskey, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 18:00 (eighteen years ago)

Readers will also now have album reviews published.

― Herman G. Neuname, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 18:44 (eighteen years ago)

This thread is rather pointless but I glanced at this weeks cover and whilst it's by no means the worst of all time it's certainly feels like one of the most philosophically depressing.

― acrobat, Thursday, 19 July 2007 08:00 (eighteen years ago)

Lad rock is back. The Enemy on their hometown heroes, and how shit England is

OMG MUST READ

― blueski, Thursday, 19 July 2007 10:35 (eighteen years ago)

Stuff We Love: You saw the indie luminaries playing it, wearing it, riding it, smoking it, punching it… Now we tell you where to get it

wow, just like cosmo

― tissp, Thursday, 19 July 2007 12:40 (eighteen years ago)

The new wave of thrash metal feature this week is pricelessly cute, I just want to pick it up and hug it

― DJ Mencap, Thursday, 19 July 2007 12:57 (eighteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Pete Doherty - a druggy loser makes another shambolic crap album

http://tinyurl.com/2kyotq

― djmartian, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 12:46 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

http://img77.imageshack.us/img77/9786/magimageiw0.jpg

― abanana, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 16:46 (eighteen years ago)

that is really depressing.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 16:53 (eighteen years ago)

http://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpg

Still love this photo, forget who the fuck it's of tho

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 16:55 (eighteen years ago)

cheryl tweedy and that other guy.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 16:59 (eighteen years ago)

He's pulling that face because he has a mobile phone in his ass?

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 17:08 (eighteen years ago)

three months pass...

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/music/2008/02/music_magazine_covers.html

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 12:40 (eighteen years ago)

tl;dr

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 12:41 (eighteen years ago)

To this day, I can recite verbatim the opening paragraph of Nick Kent's epic critique.

Thus far and no further.

― Pashmina, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 13:07 (eighteen years ago)

Amazing how nearly all of the cover photos Wilde cites were taken by the same photographer.

There might be a clue in there somewhere.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 13:13 (eighteen years ago)

Did Lo-Fidelity Allstars ever get a cover? If so, them as well: what a pointless band.

robin could be so hurtful

― blueski, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 13:36 (eighteen years ago)

^^^Dude's posting again, pay attention

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 13:45 (eighteen years ago)

!!??

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 13:45 (eighteen years ago)

Word(s) that only ever appeared in one (hit) song, ever.

"February Callendar"

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 13:48 (eighteen years ago)

o shi

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 13:51 (eighteen years ago)

So, I'm back up in the game,
Running things to keep my swing,
Lettin' all the people know,
That I'm back to run the show,
'Cause what they didn't know was wrong,
And all the nasty things you've done,
So, baby, listen carefully,
While I sing my comeback song.

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 13:53 (eighteen years ago)

What makes you think that is Robin C, out of curiosity? I don't get it.

― Pashmina, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 14:15 (eighteen years ago)

he said it was him, didn't he?

― ailsa, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 14:16 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, him saying "I am Robin C" was a bit of a giveaway

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 14:17 (eighteen years ago)

I missed that, obv. I'm glad he's back! I like Robin.

― Pashmina, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 14:22 (eighteen years ago)

thought FC was someone else

― blueski, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 14:30 (eighteen years ago)

Frankly, it's a pity he isn't.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 15:07 (eighteen years ago)

I predict three months before he leaves again and starts posting stupid comments about Oxbridge-educated music writers who like Girls Aloud, the Mod revival, etc., on his own blog, and wonders why certain people don't bother talking to him any more.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 15:09 (eighteen years ago)

http://i10.ebayimg.com/05/i/08/b5/4d/ag_1.JPG

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 15:10 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.pickinglosers.co.uk/files/u11/wrestling460.jpg

― NickB, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 15:12 (eighteen years ago)

Ha, I thought at first that FC may be another Marcello pseudonym, with his extensive knowledge of long forgotten 1970 chart hits. Then they started replying to each other.

― Billy Dods, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 15:12 (eighteen years ago)

Yes, I think I'll have to Geirify him.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 15:13 (eighteen years ago)

http://img5.allocine.fr/acmedia/medias/nmedia/18/36/35/66/18629180.jpg

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 15:13 (eighteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/135/335792950_c834796cfd_b.jpg

Will the grafter of Italian origin do over the cocky young upstart with the interest in urban music? Stay tuned.

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 15:15 (eighteen years ago)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d4/Nme_blur_oasis.jpg/180px-Nme_blur_oasis.jpg

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 15:59 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.poster.net/alien-vs-predator/alien-vs-predator-whoever-wins-we-lose-paul-ws-anderson-3700999.jpg

― onimo, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 17:20 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.vinmagarchive.com/thumb.asp?f=NME%202%20JAN%201999(1).jpg&w=275

Ooooh, I'm scared.

― Bodrick III, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 19:57 (eighteen years ago)

Hard to tell which member of Gomez is least intimidating. Far left, probably, though second left's in with a shout.

― chap, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

I still have a theory that the NME was trying to go bankrupt '98-'00.

― Bodrick III, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

Aya Napa / Ibiza?...

-- gretnagreen, Sunday, 12 August 2001

Beefa in 2000 was class, best summer of my life!

― Bodrick III, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 20:05 (eighteen years ago)

OK that Gomez one is laughable

― blueski, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 20:36 (eighteen years ago)

Hard to tell which member of Gomez is least intimidating. Far left, probably, though second left's in with a shout.

-- chap, Wednesday, February 13, 2008 8:00 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

saw far left guy in waterstones once. weird attempt to cash in on 'lock, stock' imagery (released a few months prior) on that cover.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 23:27 (eighteen years ago)

saw far left guy in waterstones once

Was he polite when he served you?

― Billy Dods, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 23:40 (eighteen years ago)

(I knew far left's sister. Don't think I ever met him tho. She asked me if I thought they'd win the Mercury that year and I made some polite noises and said "well it is a pretty open year".)

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 23:43 (eighteen years ago)

looooool

xpost

i was behind the counter as it goes.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 23:49 (eighteen years ago)

Far left looks like every guy who is ever in Waterstones, is the thing - including me, a bit.

― chap, Thursday, 14 February 2008 00:52 (eighteen years ago)

Fucking hell, I remember posting to this thread back in my early twenties.

The truth is that I don't like or recognise the person who posted here all that time ago. I'm not sure whether I like myself much, if at all, now, but I'm astonished at how low my regard is for my old self, how little connection I have with him. Much, if not most, of what I posted was pretty much worthless shit (plus ca change, possibly), and I don't think I ever represented myself well, or reflected (with a few exceptions) what I'm actually capable of. I came back on a whim, really (and because I'd fantasised about the 'words in only one hit song' thread in my head years ago, easily-amused as I may be), wondering how long it would take before anyone saw through me. When Marcello did, I thought it was better to admit it immediately rather than play any more games.

Many of the statements I made in the great war with Dom and Nick (which was the moment the bridges burnt) were misjudged, to say the least, and within a few months I had distanced myself from quite a few of them. I am as full of anger at the self-perpetuating nature of the new elite - or as it should be called the New Boy Network - and the way it holds back genuine talent in all fields as anyone else on here, and (I would suspect) more so than many. The difference is that I don't dismiss individuals simply because of their background, as Dom did when he made his grotesquely bigoted remarks about Stephen Fry. I hate the system, but I don't hate people simply because they were born into it (which was not after all their choice). I only hate them when they are artistically worthless, pernicious in their influence and keep out of the mass consciousness those who deserve it far more, c.f. Lily Allen and her hellspawn. None of those descriptions apply to Stephen Fry. Of course there is a residual Old Toryism in the It's a Soaraway Life sketch (which, along with all the other strongly anti-Murdoch / anti-US-influence ones, I suspect was much more Fry than Laurie). But there are also principles that are bigger and stronger than any forum factions, and we are risking all our futures if we cannot see them through our own petty agendas.

I may well be more conservative than I want to be. But there is a fervent radical's heart beating here as well. In the age of Sarkozy and the horrendous Milliband, I feel I am needed more than ever. It would be betrayal for me to be anything else.

I think I'll keep this name from now on. I prefer it.

For what it matters (very little), the Brel article in the 1986 NME whose cover appears upthread - and that is probably their last great cover (though I agree with Mark about the font at the bottom) - was by Momus. As for continuing to add new covers to this thread, for me it's like worrying about people who still wear bowler hats. The NME is the rock'n'roll (kill the Krauts, kill the Arabs) old-guard hangover. But the system in which it's a miniscule pawn deserves all the abuse we can throw at it, and more.

― February Callendar, Thursday, 14 February 2008 04:24 (eighteen years ago)

Lily Allen has never praised the comedy stylings of Bernard Manning, though?

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 14 February 2008 10:01 (eighteen years ago)

I sigh, and then I cry, and I wonder why...

― Mark G, Thursday, 14 February 2008 10:04 (eighteen years ago)

Bernard Manning to Peter Cook on the Joan Rivers show: "You used to be very funny Peter." Then to camera: "He can't remember his lines you see. I work every night."

― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 14 February 2008 10:05 (eighteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/202/522514950_bfb448770a.jpg

nothing can beat this for sheer disgustingness

― binge, Thursday, 14 February 2008 10:09 (eighteen years ago)

http://kscakes.com.nyud.net:8080/LolCats/Uploads/Saved/in-ur-cricket-team-hatin-ur-jewz.jpg

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 14 February 2008 10:18 (eighteen years ago)

hating your fatty jowls morelike

― binge, Thursday, 14 February 2008 10:23 (eighteen years ago)

This week's NME issue features The Wombats they deserve a critical beating.

― djmartian, Thursday, 14 February 2008 12:00 (eighteen years ago)

You sure you're not mixing up the Wombats with Keegan's Newcastle?

― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 14 February 2008 12:05 (eighteen years ago)

what about a caged fight between Joey Barton and The Wombats?

― djmartian, Thursday, 14 February 2008 12:09 (eighteen years ago)

Music weekly NME has been overtaken by Classic Rock for the first time after the IPC title lost 12% of its circulation in a year.

Empire and Uncut were among the titles to put on sales among the leading music, film and entertainment magazines, but there were losses elsewhere for Mojo and Kerrang!.

NME had an average weekly sale of 64,033 in the second half of last year, down 6% on the previous six months, according to Audit Bureau of Circulations figures published today.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/feb/14/abcs.pressandpublishing7

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 14 February 2008 16:08 (eighteen years ago)

time for another new rock revolution.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 14 February 2008 16:12 (eighteen years ago)

Music weekly NME has been overtaken by Classic Rock for the first time after the IPC title lost 12% of its circulation in a year.

I shouldn't laugh really, but LOL, awesome.

― Pashmina, Thursday, 14 February 2008 16:21 (eighteen years ago)

IPC Ignite publishing director Paul Cheal said NME would be revamped later this year.

"NME magazine sits at the heart of the brand and we are constantly sense checking what readers want and looking to evolve the magazine's content and design," Cheal added.

"With this in mind our editorial team are currently engaged in exciting development work which will come to market later this year."

What are the on, these corporate planks at IPC Ignite?

"exciting development work"

with McNicholas and Krissi Murison in charge ! ha ! a bigger joke than The Wombats and The View

― djmartian, Thursday, 14 February 2008 16:26 (eighteen years ago)

DJ Martian - what would you do to revamp the NME in 2008 to boost sales?

― Matt DC, Thursday, 14 February 2008 16:35 (eighteen years ago)

Close it down ! and relaunch Melody Maker ! with a complete new agenda

― djmartian, Thursday, 14 February 2008 16:42 (eighteen years ago)

You position exclamation points in an hypnotic way, djmartian

― DJ Mencap, Thursday, 14 February 2008 16:53 (eighteen years ago)

The spirit of Wyndham Lewis lives.

Melody Maker relaunched with me as editor is an excellent idea, I think.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 15 February 2008 08:19 (eighteen years ago)

I thought ILX decided ages ago no one over 30 should be allowed to write for the weeklies?
;)

― Herman G. Neuname, Friday, 15 February 2008 10:46 (eighteen years ago)

Um, I think you might be mixing up "ILX" with "The Lex" there Herman...

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 15 February 2008 11:24 (eighteen years ago)

He will be 30 one day too

― Herman G. Neuname, Friday, 15 February 2008 11:26 (eighteen years ago)

"That's what I love about these kids on the bus, man. I get older, they stay the same age." - The Lex

― Raw Patrick, Friday, 15 February 2008 11:30 (eighteen years ago)

oh snap

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 15 February 2008 11:39 (eighteen years ago)

I picked up "Classic Rock" for the first time ever today.

Interesting bit of writing on Moby Grape, I have to say.

― Mark G, Friday, 15 February 2008 11:55 (eighteen years ago)

I can't think of a title like Classic Rock without imagining it being spoken in a Late Great Tommy Vance voice.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 15 February 2008 12:17 (eighteen years ago)

The magazine is actually very Tommy Vance. The plus side of it is that the writers seem to be genuinely into what they're writing about, it's not cynical at all, the minus is that some of it is pretty terribly written, though every issue I've ever bought has had one really good piece about some band who never get any props anywhere else - Budgie, or Kansas, people like that. It's one of the very, very few magazines I still pick up and buy, but only twice or three times a year, which is enough.

― Pashmina, Friday, 15 February 2008 12:22 (eighteen years ago)

four months pass...

Conor Mack's current Facebook display photo is of him tied to a chair hanging out with the Mighty Boosh, at least one of whom is wearing "ironic" "pirate" "gear"

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Monday, 14 July 2008 13:26 (seventeen years ago)

It has been since the week before "the Boosh" got their first cover the week beofre series three. Can't remember why I was snooping around his page. He should have it set to private.

― Raw Patrick, Monday, 14 July 2008 13:40 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.mercuryloungenyc.com/u/i/4/2110bfc5.jpg

― Free Peace Sweet!, Monday, 14 July 2008 13:50 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/in-the-mix-the-rebirth-of-the-mixtape-866759.html

I owe my life to a mix tape. I was in sixth form in Bradford, and I was aware that there was a world of music beyond Prince and Sting, but I didn't know where to start. I did, however, have one friend called John Shanks who listened to John Peel a lot, and he offered to make me a tape.

It was indie – The Stone Roses, a bit of Primal Scream I'm sure – and one track set my synapses firing – The Charlatans' "The Only One I Know". This was what I'd been hearing on the radio, this was the music I was looking for, and now here it was for me to play again and again.

When I screwed up my A-levels and entry into Cambridge, I was secretly delighted. I applied to Manchester University – I wanted to be in the same city as the Smiths and the Mondays and to go to the Hacienda. While I was screwing up my degree, I DJed, played in bands, ran a small magazine and met my wife. That tape reset my brain. I lost it while I was at university, which is a pity because I'd treasure it now.

Conor McNicholas is the editor of 'NME'

― James Mitchell, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:08 (seventeen years ago)

a new generation of music lovers is falling for the romance of the C90

So not an old generation of music lovers whose teenage kids have taught them how to work computers, then

― DJ Mencap, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:12 (seventeen years ago)

so the secret of Conor Mc's success is to not have a brain? right

― blueski, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:14 (seventeen years ago)

He'd been hearing it on the radio but was unaware of what it was/how to get it?

― Raw Patrick, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:18 (seventeen years ago)

It's important to the publishers that the editor of the NME is someone that is in love with alternative but mainstream music. Stuff that is difficult to find or listen to or understand if all you have is a tape recorder and an old C90.

― Mark G, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:30 (seventeen years ago)

Don't IPC pay him enough that he has to go prostituting himself in broadsheets all across the land?

MEMO TO ALL MUSIC WRITERS*: NO MORE MEMOIRS OF MIXTAPES OR ANYTHING ELSE TO DO WITH YOUR FUCKING MEDIOCRE PAST

*exceptions subject to my discretion

― Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:32 (seventeen years ago)

I mean you didn't have Percy Dickins going on about his mixtapes back in the day when the NME was a world renowned etc. did you?

― Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:34 (seventeen years ago)

As I mentioned on my blog, there's 158 songs in this article, and none of them are rap music. This is just two weeks after the Indie was full of "People who don't like rap music - GET WITH THE PROGRAM GRANDAD" articles in celebration of Jaz-O's weed carrier headling some music festival or other.

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:36 (seventeen years ago)

Broadsheets don't like blogs, you know that. Why, there was a four-page lead piece about it in the Observer Review yesterday.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:57 (seventeen years ago)

Also, they only pretend to like hip hop for a week at a time. Knife crime shock horror youth cult probe innit.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:58 (seventeen years ago)

five months pass...

http://www.nme.com/images/218_magbooshcover.jpghttp://www.nme.com/images/218_magkolcover1L151208.jpg

yeah, they really needed to do two of those

― abanana, Thursday, 18 December 2008 12:16 (seventeen years ago)

probably couldn't guarantee KOL availability so had to have back-up

― Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2008 12:29 (seventeen years ago)

Mighty Boosh can always be relied upon to be unfunny in whichever publication comes calling.

― Neil S, Thursday, 18 December 2008 12:34 (seventeen years ago)

which one did grout get?!?!

― Iconic Erection (sic), Thursday, 18 December 2008 12:42 (seventeen years ago)

Obviously there is no crossover between Mighty Boosh fans and Kings of Leon fans in the NME's readership.

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 18 December 2008 13:28 (seventeen years ago)

"It's weird when everybody loves you ..."

― the pinefox, Thursday, 18 December 2008 13:50 (seventeen years ago)

How would they know?

― the pinefox, Thursday, 18 December 2008 13:50 (seventeen years ago)

"Heather Mills reviews the singles of the year" if I read that right. OMG, rushing out to buy my copy now!

― Neil S, Thursday, 18 December 2008 13:56 (seventeen years ago)

don't forget that Lily Allen wants babies

― the pinefox, Thursday, 18 December 2008 13:56 (seventeen years ago)

My Indie Christmas TV Guide? Why, thank you.

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 18 December 2008 15:27 (seventeen years ago)

OH MY GOD THE FUCKING DOTS.

― cee-oh-tee-tee, Thursday, 18 December 2008 15:34 (seventeen years ago)

OH MY GOD THE FUCKING DOTS DOLTS.

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 18 December 2008 15:36 (seventeen years ago)

also features Charlie Brooker, Bloc Party and Oasis

― the pinefox, Thursday, 18 December 2008 15:58 (seventeen years ago)

When did the NME start using the same design fonts as the supermarket tabloids? Those covers are ugly and cluttered. I remember when they used to actually be well designed.

http://www.visi.com/fall/news/pics/81nov14_nme/81nov14_nme-cover.jpg

Do they just not care anymore?

― leavethecapital, Thursday, 18 December 2008 22:27 (seventeen years ago)

that's got it's flaws too e.g. if i was Costello i'd be annoyed

― Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2008 23:12 (seventeen years ago)

How would not changing their fonts in 30 years = "caring"?

― ^likes fat girls (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Thursday, 18 December 2008 23:15 (seventeen years ago)

One's a paper for adults and one's for kids - there's really not much more to it than that

― please_stanton_dont_burt_em (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 18 December 2008 23:28 (seventeen years ago)

snmesh hits

― some duomas (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 18 December 2008 23:34 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3491/3253091961_08aea8bce6.jpg

― Mister Craig, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 18:39 (seventeen years ago)

def contender for worst strapline ever

― Donate your display name to Gazza (sic), Thursday, 5 February 2009 03:22 (seventeen years ago)

there is not a single appealing thing on that cover

― carbonara not glue (electricsound), Thursday, 5 February 2009 03:34 (seventeen years ago)

Is Skins the British OC? God I hope it is

― throwbookatface (skygreenleopard), Thursday, 5 February 2009 06:37 (seventeen years ago)

You know, I'm not really one to join in NME hating, but MON DIEU!

That cover makes me hate music. It really does.

― tenori-pr0n (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 5 February 2009 09:59 (seventeen years ago)

I don't watch Skins, but guy on the end's head has to be photoshopped on, right? Unless he has giganticism.

"The" "Gay" "Blades"? Seriously?

― Limoncello Carlin (The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics), Thursday, 5 February 2009 10:02 (seventeen years ago)

haha totally right about the shop

but the real question: what exactly was the verdict on the lily allen album

― carbonara not glue (electricsound), Thursday, 5 February 2009 10:08 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.nme.com/reviews/jay-z/10071

dunno, but this is some solid writing right here.

― special guest stars mark bronson, Thursday, 5 February 2009 10:11 (seventeen years ago)

The Gay Blades, the band tipped for big things by Sheffield Wednesday supporters' websites.

I flicked through this in WHSmiths yesterday lunchtime as per but forgot to read it closely enough to see how they backed up that "made music better" thing - like I don't even know what that might mean, unless there are that many people so insecure about their taste that they need to see Foals playing on a teen TV drama before they could commit to them

― Peter Andre Test Tube Babies (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 5 February 2009 10:16 (seventeen years ago)

worked for crystal castles in the last series

― straightola, Thursday, 5 February 2009 10:21 (seventeen years ago)

It all begs the question how much of the NME's "brand" would be altered if they actually put out a non-disfigured magazine.

― Limoncello Carlin (The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics), Thursday, 5 February 2009 10:23 (seventeen years ago)

Well, Skins did manage to make Wolf Eyes the household name they are today, so that's something.

― dowd, Thursday, 5 February 2009 10:58 (seventeen years ago)

dunno, but this is some solid writing right here.

― special guest stars mark bronson, Thursday, 5 February 2009 10:11 (50 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah, I remember how keen the British left were on the Kosovan war. Good writing all round.

― Limoncello Carlin (The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics), Thursday, 5 February 2009 11:02 (seventeen years ago)

http://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpghttp://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpghttp://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpghttp://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpghttp://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpghttp://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpghttp://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpghttp://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpghttp://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpg

― Limoncello Carlin (The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics), Thursday, 5 February 2009 11:18 (seventeen years ago)

God that cover looks bad.

Tempted to suggest a "extrapolate NME cover design to the year 2013" photoshop competition.

― anatol_merklich, Sunday, 8 February 2009 00:24 (seventeen years ago)

'Fix You'. Utterly wonderful. I shed a real tear. Lovely lovely lovely.

http://twitter.com/ConorMcNicholas/status/1225068901

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 19 February 2009 02:32 (seventeen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7910631.stm


Oasis have been named best British band at the NME Awards in London.

The Manchester band were nominated in a record seven categories, but picked up just one. Noel Gallagher also scooped a gong for best band blog.

A host of artists gathered the capital's Brixton Academy to see The Killers, from Las Vegas, given the title of best international band.

Muse were the biggest winners at the annual awards, picking up three prizes, voted for by the magazine's readers.

The Devon trio were named best live band for the second year in a row and were given the award for best album artwork for HAARP, their live album recorded at two gigs at Wembley Stadium during summer 2007.

Singer Matt Bellamy also won on of the more frivolous awards of the night, being named sexiest male.

Indie rock legends The Cure were presented with the Godlike Genuis award after 33 years together.

Nashville rockers Kings of Leon, who picked up two Brit Awards a week ago, followed on that success, winning best album for Only By the Night.

New-wave New Yorkers MGMT did a double, picking up best new band and best track for Time to Pretend.

Villain of the year

US pop band the Jonas Brothers also won two awards, though are unlikely to celebrate being crowned worst band and worst album.

Glastonbury won the top festival award, while best venue was won by London's Astoria, which closed in January and faces demolition to make way for a new cross-city rail link.

New US President Barack Obama was named hero of the year, with former commander-in-chief George W Bush winning the villain of the year for the sixth year running.

The show also featured live performances by Mercury Prize winners Elbow, Scots bands Glasbogus and Franz Ferdinand and ended with a 30-minute performance by The Cure.

Hosted by comedian Mark Watson, the 2009 awards will be broadcast on Channel 4 on Friday.

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 25 February 2009 22:55 (seventeen years ago)

Ha ha, apparently Oasis were booed, but they don't report that, do they?

― Sneaky Sneaky Prog Friend (Masonic Boom), Wednesday, 25 February 2009 23:09 (seventeen years ago)

woah what muse are still going?

― meme economist (special guest stars mark bronson), Wednesday, 25 February 2009 23:11 (seventeen years ago)

Noel Gallagher also scooped a gong for best band blog.

Haha what

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/2484/oasisinetannouncementsr5.jpg

― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 25 February 2009 23:34 (seventeen years ago)

Scots bands Glasbogus

I see what you did there.

― Eerie, Indierocker (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Wednesday, 25 February 2009 23:38 (seventeen years ago)

glansvegas

― juicy sweet are (electricsound), Wednesday, 25 February 2009 23:39 (seventeen years ago)

shitbandegas

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Thursday, 26 February 2009 00:04 (seventeen years ago)

Ha ha ha, with all the twittering going on about it, I'm really convinced that the entire Academy is filled with nothing but crackberrying and iPhoning freaks tweeting each other. Oh, the hilarity.

― Sneaky Sneaky Prog Friend (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 26 February 2009 00:26 (seventeen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v622/thingummy99/Picture2-1.png

STILL ON TOP

― William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 26 February 2009 01:20 (seventeen years ago)

Yo, I thought I told you that we won't stop
Now whatcha gonna do when it's cool
bag a money much longer than yours

― Eerie, Indierocker (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Thursday, 26 February 2009 01:33 (seventeen years ago)

The full list of nominees for Hero Of The Year were:

Barack Obama
Noel Gallagher
Brandon Flowers
Alex Turner
Noel Fielding

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 26 February 2009 08:19 (seventeen years ago)

who does barack obama think he is, ducking the ceremony like that?

― meme economist (special guest stars mark bronson), Thursday, 26 February 2009 08:44 (seventeen years ago)

He was sat in the White House posting comments on Noel Gallagher's myspace blog.

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 26 February 2009 09:03 (seventeen years ago)

I'm glad my 15+ votes for the singer from Paramore helped her to an historic victory. I also did 15+ votes for Oasis is every category they were nommed.

― Reflex Gaffney (Raw Patrick), Thursday, 26 February 2009 09:33 (seventeen years ago)

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom

― Luka ModReq (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 26 February 2009 09:50 (seventeen years ago)

that one's worth a repoll!

― Mark G, Thursday, 26 February 2009 10:06 (seventeen years ago)

http://a442.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01516/14/47/1516937441_l.jpg

― Eerie, Indierocker (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Thursday, 26 February 2009 10:17 (seventeen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7911613.stm

And so, on to the coveted best British band award. It's a biggie and who should win but Oasis... who were subjected to some pretty deafening boos from across the venue.

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Thursday, 26 February 2009 19:20 (seventeen years ago)

woah what muse are still going?

― meme economist (special guest stars mark bronson), Wednesday, 25 February 2009 23:11

Huge in mainland europe, I believe. also the main dude in band is one of those guys who gets a feature in guitarist's magazines once every three months.

― Pashmina, Thursday, 26 February 2009 19:23 (seventeen years ago)

And girls love him

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Thursday, 26 February 2009 19:26 (seventeen years ago)

Huge in mainland europe

It was only two years ago they played friggin Wembley Stadium as well! I think it's actually that they don't need to have any sort of presence when they're not releasing an album or playing gigs

― Luka ModReq (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 26 February 2009 19:32 (seventeen years ago)

Unlike Oasis or most pop bands who feel the need to get into the tabloids so people dont forget about them. If Muse were in the tabloids I think they would be far more hated

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Thursday, 26 February 2009 19:35 (seventeen years ago)

Are Oasis in the tabloids much these days?

― ailsa, Thursday, 26 February 2009 20:49 (seventeen years ago)

When they have a record coming out Noel always gets in them.

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Thursday, 26 February 2009 20:55 (seventeen years ago)

Tempted to suggest a "extrapolate NME cover design to the year 2013" photoshop competition.

game

― O Supermanchiros (blueski), Thursday, 26 February 2009 21:54 (seventeen years ago)

but it really won't exist by then, right?

― O Supermanchiros (blueski), Thursday, 26 February 2009 21:55 (seventeen years ago)

cant see it. Web presence only. kinda surprised they havent got a huge website like PFM for themselves. Lots of daily reviews and news with the NME brand it would be a massive hit in the UK im sure. Maybe there's no money in that? Not that there can be much money in printed media these days.

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Thursday, 26 February 2009 21:59 (seventeen years ago)

Pity they didn't keep their archive of old and new reviews of albums that they had 9 years ago before the cost-cutting. NME.com was good back then. I don't think I've visited it in years now bar the links to it posted on ILM.

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Thursday, 26 February 2009 22:12 (seventeen years ago)

Ugh what an ugly site http://www.nme.com/

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Thursday, 26 February 2009 22:13 (seventeen years ago)

Today in Smiths I saw two magazines I hadn't seen before. One was Shindig a magazine for old garage rock,funk,folk etc. Stuff that isn't mainstream enough for Mojo to cover. And a "Rock And Metal" magazine called Power Play with Justin Hawkins on the cover and it covers Slipnot and other such mainstream rawk/metal. Pretty much looks like a UK version of Metal Edge before unperson took it over. Looks totally pointless and cant see it lasting. Is it a new magazine or just new to my local wh smiths?

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 4 March 2009 14:46 (seventeen years ago)

ok it appears Power Play has been going for 10 years

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 4 March 2009 14:49 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.myspace.com/powerplaymagazine

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 4 March 2009 14:50 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.shindig-magazine.com/

― Pfunkboy in blood drenched rabbit suit jamming in the woods (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 4 March 2009 14:51 (seventeen years ago)

four months pass...

http://i28.tinypic.com/2vwzpfp.jpg
NME going for the Kerrang readership?

― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 23:02 (sixteen years ago)

Is that Sylar?

― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 23:02 (sixteen years ago)

It's Biffy Clyro dude

― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 23:08 (sixteen years ago)

Biffy Sylar?

― surm? lol (sic), Thursday, 9 July 2009 05:31 (sixteen years ago)

I could give a fuck about the band but that's quite a neat cover I think. Have they used actual handwriting or one of those crappy fonts? Some of the letters look the same, some don't

― Real Men Play On Words (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 9 July 2009 08:01 (sixteen years ago)

Has Macnichols dude left yet?

― Violent In Design (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 9 July 2009 08:19 (sixteen years ago)

two months pass...

I don't get it... why now?

http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/2750/magimagephp.jpg

― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 13:12 (sixteen years ago)

'Lux Interior by Bobby Gillespie'

― thomp, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 13:15 (sixteen years ago)

That's the last Conor McNicholas issue, there are loads of different covers, partly as a bit of a final flourish for him and also presumably to give him a nice sales bump to go out on.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 13:16 (sixteen years ago)

xp ha I'm no fan of Bobby Gillespie but to single him out amongst the pantheon of winners on that cover...

― Vladislav Delap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 13:18 (sixteen years ago)

Show the Syd one!

― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 13:24 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.nme.com/photos/pop-stars-now-and-then/154487/1/1

Anyroad: Here's a "LOL POP STARS NOW LOOK OLD AND DECREPIT" feature.

Except that virtually all of them look, um, alright really.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 13:29 (sixteen years ago)

For all those NME readers who have been wondering what Limahl from Kajagoogoo and Nik Kershaw are up to these days.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 13:44 (sixteen years ago)

More fun is 'pictures of Kanye West's funniest outbursts':

Back in 2005 his target was none other than US President George W Bush. During a TV benefit for victims of Hurricane Katrina, he accused the government of insitutional racism: "George Bush doesn't care about black people!" Pic: PA Photos

And here's that picture:

http://akamai-static.nme.com/images/gallery/kanye_west_PAPhotos_016.jpg

er

― thomp, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 13:45 (sixteen years ago)

"Why now" may have something to do with interest in Cobain by people who discovered him through Guitar Hero.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 13:53 (sixteen years ago)

the average 17 year old NME reading teenager in 2009, was a toddler when Kurt Cobain blew his head off in 1994, so how could they miss him?

The NME have realized the landfill indie is rubbish and have been playing it safe since Murison has taken the editor role. Last week Monkeyhead Brown and Jay Z, this week Mojo/Uncut lite retro Necrophilia condensed.

― djmartian, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:10 (sixteen years ago)

They can't miss him, but NME can tell them that they should and they'll buy that. I'm 30 and people of my generation carried the torch for like, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, etc.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:18 (sixteen years ago)

Cobain's appeal to a certain species of teenager has outlived any awareness of him at the time, though. I was nine in 1994 and they were still my favourite band age 14 and later the favourite band of a lot of people I knew age 14.

― thomp, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:21 (sixteen years ago)

I suspect there were a lot more people developing that sort of relationship with Sid Vicious up until about 1993 than there were in 1995, though.

― thomp, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:22 (sixteen years ago)

There were a lot of Pistols fans at my school when I was in my mid teens c. 94-95. Also there will be teenagers listening to Nirvana forever, it's a new perennial.

The NME have realized the landfill indie is rubbish and have been playing it safe since Murison has taken the editor role.

Conor McNicholas edited the most recent edition, or at least had executive responsibility for it.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:24 (sixteen years ago)

The point being popular video game with cobain in it + cobain on the cover of a magazine = magazine sales, whether the article is about Missing Him or His Effects Pedals or whatever.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:26 (sixteen years ago)

Conor left the NME at the end of August, Krissi M has been editing the NME since early September.

so why are NME pretending to "we" it on the front cover.

NME would be better creating the agenda for the future: e.g bands such as Salem and Twisted Wires

― djmartian, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:28 (sixteen years ago)

on the cover?

― history mayne, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:30 (sixteen years ago)

27 Musicians we miss?

Presumably no-one missed Syd until he actually was dead then?

― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:30 (sixteen years ago)

That's a strangely horrible bit of handwriting on that cover.

― Gunther von Hagen Daas (NickB), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:33 (sixteen years ago)

"JOE STRUMMER by JAMIE T"

Was Jamie T the cuntbox who wrote something about Strummer for some real newspaper last year, and made the entire piece about how most people don't know this obscure song Train In Vain and so don't appreciate the soft, sensitive, yearning way in which Strummer could sing when he wanted you to feel his pain?

― Dandy Don Draper (sic), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:34 (sixteen years ago)

yep why not, Salem are one of the most exciting and interesting emerging bands, when their debut album drops in 2010 prepare for greatness.

Music magazines should set their own agenda, not recycle established retro icons or wait and follow others for new artists.

― djmartian, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:35 (sixteen years ago)

the average 17 year old NME reading teenager in 2009, was a toddler when Kurt Cobain blew his head off in 1994, so how could they miss him?

Dunno but there were enough moonfaced tools with a Jim Morrison boner in my sixth form 11 or 12 years ago, so this is hardly a new or NME-created thing

― Vladislav Delap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 14:59 (sixteen years ago)

it happened with buddy holly in the 60s too
"the day music died"

― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:03 (sixteen years ago)

in a parallel universe, Sounds or Melody Maker is still being published and Ulver are on the front cover this week.

― djmartian, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:05 (sixteen years ago)

Of all the billions of eventualities in billions of parallel universes, that's certainly the one I'd most like to end up in.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:08 (sixteen years ago)

djmartian should be editor of Terrorizer

― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:08 (sixteen years ago)

In a parallel universe, he is.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:09 (sixteen years ago)

In a world where Portsmouth have won double the number of games.

― Gunther von Hagen Daas (NickB), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:11 (sixteen years ago)

Ulver are on the cover but HITLER is both NME editor and Pompey chairman

― modescalator (blueski), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:11 (sixteen years ago)

Parallel universe aspirations:

1. Ulver on cover of Sounds
2. Portsmouth top of the Premiership
3. DJ Martian married to Jet from Gladiators

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:12 (sixteen years ago)

4. Cadbury indulge in 40% less 'brand extension'

― thomp, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:15 (sixteen years ago)

5. No such thing as £1.50 lottery ticket

― thomp, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:16 (sixteen years ago)

6. Strictly Come Darkwave rules the ratings.

― history mayne, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:17 (sixteen years ago)

Strictly Come Darkwave

OMG.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:21 (sixteen years ago)

dancing the batcave dance tonight...

Siouxsie and the Banshees - Arabian Knights
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP-ZUbSmkRM

― djmartian, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:23 (sixteen years ago)

I like the way the NME old popstars thing excitably lists all these addictions and tragedies as a way of explaining why a bunch of guys look about 20 years older than they did 20 years ago.

― MPx4A, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:31 (sixteen years ago)

7. plans for 2010 general election scrapped and new government elected according to Rateyourmusic positions; My Dying Bride settle gingerly into new role as MP for Knowsley South

― Vladislav Delap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:37 (sixteen years ago)

(Adam Ant actually looks about 5 years older on his!)

― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:38 (sixteen years ago)

8. David Cameron forced to stand down after having got 51 SB nominations from party MPs after voting "happiness is a warm gun" the worst song on the White Album.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:39 (sixteen years ago)

Yeah, I dunno what they've got against Wendy James either, we can't all look 12 for ever like Conor M

― MPx4A, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:39 (sixteen years ago)

9. New Kerrrang! editor Matty Taylor vows that Muse have graced the cover for the last time

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:39 (sixteen years ago)

10. Elizabeth Fraser enters Eurovision and wins it

11. Jools Holland Later gets canned, and is replaced by a new version of Snub TV

12. the BBC revamps 6 Music with a radical new direction

― djmartian, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:43 (sixteen years ago)

13. DJ Martian standing on the Pyramid Stage for two hours ringing a bell really loudly while singing "play up Pompey" is hailed by Michael Eavis as the greatest Glastonbury headliner since Radiohead in 1997.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 15:58 (sixteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

+PLUS+

― abanana, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 19:18 (sixteen years ago)

14. That arse from Biffy Clyro puts his fucking shirt on for once.

― MaresNest, Thursday, 29 October 2009 00:01 (sixteen years ago)

Tempted to start a generic indie guitar band called +PLUS+ just so I can claim I'm on the cover every week.

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 29 October 2009 00:07 (sixteen years ago)

That "then and now" article is hilarious.

"age and a recent alcohol addiction have washed away most of his youthful good looks."

No, really? Age rid him of his youth?

― i obtain much semillon (Trayce), Thursday, 29 October 2009 00:24 (sixteen years ago)

http://kayascodelario.net/photos/albums/magazines/2009/02_NME/Kaya_Scodelario_001.jpg

― PaulTMA, Thursday, 29 October 2009 02:06 (sixteen years ago)

wasn't there an entire thread dedicated to that cover?

― musically, Thursday, 29 October 2009 02:24 (sixteen years ago)

L-R: Ant, Dec, Severed Head

― Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 03:45 (sixteen years ago)

one month passes...

Posting this here so i can find it at a later date as no doubt i will forget which thread it was in and this will be the 1st one i search :)

http://i49.tinypic.com/14xm992.jpg

― Pfunkboy : The Dronelord vs The Girly Metal Daleks (Herman G. Neuname), Friday, 11 December 2009 23:52 (sixteen years ago)

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Pix/pictures/2009/12/15/1260874129094/NME-Christmas-2009-issue-006.jpg

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN A NEW LEADER EMERGES. It's the chest hair that does it.

― Space Battle Rothko (Matt DC), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 00:22 (sixteen years ago)

come back conor mcnichols, a certain amount is forgiven.

― Dean Gaffney's December (history mayne), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 00:32 (sixteen years ago)

That is your God.

― cee-oh-tee-tee, Wednesday, 16 December 2009 00:50 (sixteen years ago)

Also, this just in: THE CLASH WERE A BAND.

― cee-oh-tee-tee, Wednesday, 16 December 2009 00:50 (sixteen years ago)

That is your God.

Yes exactly and I dunno: that is actually a half-decent cover with some clarity, as opposed to the unfocusable-upon clutterfest I expect... ok it's just been shuffled westwards on the page I suppose, hold left hand over baubles and I say it looks not bad at all...

― anatol_merklich, Wednesday, 16 December 2009 23:12 (sixteen years ago)

I read the Cowell interview earlier and he comes off as pretty reasonable really - I hope no-one had their fingers crossed it was gonna be a monstering because it's nothing of the sort

― ITT: A Kreature Named Kranjkar (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 23:18 (sixteen years ago)

He's coated off every interviewer that's sat with him. Even Clarkson!

― cee-oh-tee-tee, Thursday, 17 December 2009 01:41 (sixteen years ago)

three months pass...

not really the worst

but

http://www.nme.com/images/10322_164604_mumfordandsons_nmecoverL220310.jpg

― abanana, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 15:02 (sixteen years ago)

at least the whole approach of the cover is 'cleaner' than they used to do a few years ago.

― mark e, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 15:17 (sixteen years ago)

actually, please replace years with months

eg that skins cover upthread.

― mark e, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 15:18 (sixteen years ago)

New editor seems to have changed a great deal of the mag.

Although, a greater reliance on 'archive reprints'.

SO, is there an extended (or even a small) tribute to AChilton?

― Mark G, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 15:44 (sixteen years ago)

looking at that cover it's difficult to tell

― MPx4A, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 15:48 (sixteen years ago)

oh look one of them's wearing a newton heath man u fan scarf! what a hero!

― LiveJournal (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 15:50 (sixteen years ago)

abysmal

― nakhchivan, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 15:52 (sixteen years ago)

Yeah that cover looks like any number of em from like 1996, sucky band but perfectly OK other than that imo

― Not a musician, but I thought of Justin Fashanu for some reason (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 16:31 (sixteen years ago)

-the period in the subtitle
-the newton heath scarf
-'big star's underground icon'
-the big pink suede panda bear hurts
-the cunts in the picture whoever they are
-countryside realness shit

― nakhchivan, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 16:36 (sixteen years ago)

thx

― the big pink suede panda bear hurts (ledge), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 16:38 (sixteen years ago)

the big pink suede panda bear hurts

Hmmm, I've not heard it called one of those before.

― Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Farting in Space (NickB), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 16:43 (sixteen years ago)

well you can do what you want, but don't step on it

― LiveJournal (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 16:45 (sixteen years ago)

Vampire Weekend the other week was apparently their worst selling cover ever: 21,000 was the rumour.

― ithappens, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 16:56 (sixteen years ago)

the worst of the TEN covers this week

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Pix/pictures/2010/4/6/1270558733051/Biffy-Clyro-005.jpg

― mdskltr (blueski), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 15:15 (sixteen years ago)

I automatically inserted a tutting sound after "the state of music today".

― Convenience Fish (snoball), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 15:21 (sixteen years ago)

"being in a band..." line cribbed from the Manic Street Preachers' Big Book of Bollocks...

― Convenience Fish (snoball), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 15:21 (sixteen years ago)

Mumford And Sons should really think about hanging themselves

― PaulTMA, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 15:24 (sixteen years ago)

note suspicious wear pattern on the Strat

― Convenience Fish (snoball), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 15:29 (sixteen years ago)

Obviously had a belt sander taken to it.

― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 15:32 (sixteen years ago)

I guess it's too much to hope that belt sanding a guitar is part of their live act.

― Convenience Fish (snoball), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 15:34 (sixteen years ago)

Mumford And Sons should really think about hanging themselves

Or starting a firm of solicitors...

― Convenience Fish (snoball), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 15:36 (sixteen years ago)

Ten covers? Ten fucking covers?

― Venga, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 15:39 (sixteen years ago)

And none of them feature Oasis - NME standards slipping then...

― Convenience Fish (snoball), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 15:42 (sixteen years ago)

i do like the cleanliness of the new logo

― mdskltr (blueski), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:04 (sixteen years ago)

http://img59.imageshack.us/i/nmecoverlcd010410.jpg/

salright
should really be polling them

― nakhchivan, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:11 (sixteen years ago)

http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/8288/nmecoverlcd010410.jpg

― nakhchivan, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:12 (sixteen years ago)

I love the text describing it on the website:

Inside this week:
New Look NME
10 Special Covers
New Content
On Sale Now!

Forgetting that the '10 Special Covers' won't be 'Inside this week', I wonder if 'New Content' really is something that the kids will go for.

― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:16 (sixteen years ago)

haha

― nakhchivan, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:25 (sixteen years ago)

maybe they've brought back film reviews?

― mdskltr (blueski), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:35 (sixteen years ago)

Basically it looks like the NME is trying to reposition itself as Q - one artist/band per cover, complete with wanky quote from said artist/band. The Rihanna one is hilarious - "You need people to tell you when you're f***ing up" quoth 'anna, with a sequinned top and a parrot on her shoulder.

― Convenience Fish (snoball), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:35 (sixteen years ago)

Yeah that cover looks like any number of em from like 1996, sucky band but perfectly OK other than that imo

― Not a musician, but I thought of Justin Fashanu for some reason (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, March 23, 2010 4:31 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

FREE TO SAY ANYTHING

― rip sarah silverman 3/19/10 never forget (history mayne), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:36 (sixteen years ago)

really do hate multiple covers per issue generally. STOP DITHERING.

― mdskltr (blueski), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:38 (sixteen years ago)

new logo and cover layout looks pretty good to me although it's a bad idea to have james murphy's head across half of your new logo.

it almost always looks terrible when mags obscure their logos but on its debut week it's a particularly bad idea.

― jed_, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:38 (sixteen years ago)

"I'd love to see the record labels crash and burn. Er, except my one..." says Elton John

― Convenience Fish (snoball), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 16:40 (sixteen years ago)

The LCD Soundsystem cover is a Morrissey joke, which makes it ok.

― Popture, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 22:26 (sixteen years ago)

i actually really like the look of the new covers, even if the actual content is pretty lol. nice to see it look so clean after years of being headache inducing. also lol at a record label boss saying he'd like to see them crash and burn.

― he might have even have gone in. (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 22:41 (sixteen years ago)

i actually like the new look covers.
clean and simple.
though as stated by others, the multiple covers thing is overdone now.
are people really out there collecting them all ?
have pokemon kids moved onto printed media driving this marketing need?
suspect not.
also, that list of 10 discussing the state of music in 2010 is pretty much as to be expected from NME.
well that is all apart from : magnetic man
which required a quick wiki dive to find out more.

― mark e, Tuesday, 6 April 2010 22:47 (sixteen years ago)

it's kind of a cop-out in terms of a safe way to put both rihanna on there and magnetic man who are too unknown to make it otherwise.

― mdskltr (blueski), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 23:11 (sixteen years ago)

it almost always looks terrible when mags obscure their logos

tell that to SFX's circulation figures

― one of the jones boys (sic), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 23:15 (sixteen years ago)

one month passes...

http://i49.tinypic.com/21c8jut.jpg

LIAM
'OASIS'
NOEL GALLAGHER

― abanana, Wednesday, 2 June 2010 02:43 (fifteen years ago)

the new cleaner design didn't last long.

― jed_, Wednesday, 2 June 2010 03:10 (fifteen years ago)

who the fuck is serge?

― jed_, Wednesday, 2 June 2010 03:11 (fifteen years ago)

bloke from kasabian.

― mark e, Wednesday, 2 June 2010 03:18 (fifteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

http://www.nme.com/layout/magImage.php
GLASTONBURY
GLASTONBURY
GLASTO'S
GLASTO 2010
THE SMITHS
JOHNNY MARR
40 years
40th ANNIVERSARY
+
+
+
oasis

― the most horrifying moment in shallow grave (abanana), Tuesday, 22 June 2010 20:11 (fifteen years ago)

It will sell a lot of copies.

― kraudive, Tuesday, 22 June 2010 21:10 (fifteen years ago)

yeah, that looks like the office SEO expert has gotten into the design dept

― dyaon't (sic), Wednesday, 23 June 2010 02:24 (fifteen years ago)

two months pass...

http://i38.tinypic.com/14w3gw5.jpg

what year is it?

― Mosquepanik at Ground Zero (abanana), Wednesday, 25 August 2010 06:29 (fifteen years ago)

i was expecting to see oasis, so it's a small step up from that at least

― governor-general allin (electricsound), Wednesday, 25 August 2010 06:41 (fifteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

http://static.nme.com/images/magazine/nmemagcover4sept300810.jpg

ew...

― Neil S, Thursday, 9 September 2010 12:42 (fifteen years ago)

i hate the libs, but its a good picture

― the cusses of 2 live crew (stevie), Thursday, 9 September 2010 12:50 (fifteen years ago)

eight months pass...

http://static.nme.com/images/magazine/NmeCoverLibertinesCC090511.jpg

there is no future for this band

― jay lenonononono (abanana), Thursday, 12 May 2011 04:09 (fourteen years ago)

hopefully

― jay lenonononono (abanana), Thursday, 12 May 2011 04:10 (fourteen years ago)

the headline so nice they strapped it twice

― "I like to wear tops that show my cleavage and show off my ladies," (sic), Thursday, 12 May 2011 05:26 (fourteen years ago)

that could be a cover from any week in the last 5 years. the nme, folks.

― craig carl (or something), Thursday, 12 May 2011 11:24 (fourteen years ago)

NME getting more like Mojo all the time.

― got a whole lotta gloves (snoball), Thursday, 12 May 2011 11:31 (fourteen years ago)

Lol @ the last three covers on this thread all being Libertines.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 12 May 2011 11:50 (fourteen years ago)

I saw a copy earlier this week (Friendly Fires on the cover I think) and it looked and read better than in the McNicholas era. Putting more words in has probably helped.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 12 May 2011 11:52 (fourteen years ago)

what am i missing here? how is this week's cover the same as one from a year ago? have just seen it in the paper shop by ours.

― craig carl (or something), Thursday, 12 May 2011 16:46 (fourteen years ago)

the old one had an address that they keep changing the image on. my fault for not rehosting it.

― jay lenonononono (abanana), Thursday, 12 May 2011 16:48 (fourteen years ago)

one month passes...

.. this weeks one with Bono on it.

Not because it's Bono, necessarily. But then again...

― Mark G, Tuesday, 21 June 2011 21:39 (fourteen years ago)

http://www.nme.com/layout/magImage.php

(I assume this pic won't be of Bono by next week...)

― Mark G, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 09:44 (fourteen years ago)

rawr

― owenf, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 10:01 (fourteen years ago)

For posterity:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y115/kitbrash/magImage.jpg

― underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have pwned (sic), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 13:30 (fourteen years ago)

Who to see! By the shitty bands themselves

― little mushroom person (abanana), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 14:09 (fourteen years ago)

v sporting of them to suggest how to survive them

― blueski, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 14:15 (fourteen years ago)

Has the cover that featured Miles Hunt, Andrea from the Darling Buds and Guy Chadwick been mentioned on this thread? Fuckination no wonder acid house and sub pop thrived. It had a nauseating 'flowers of our youth' type headline with the three fuckwits posing with flowers. I only spent the 55p for Steven Wells at this point.

― Damo Suzuki's Parrot, Saturday, 25 June 2011 00:25 (fourteen years ago)

The LCD Soundsystem cover is a Morrissey joke, which makes it ok.

I thought it might be a homage to Jonathan Meades.

http://www.theartsdesk.com/media/k2/items/cache/feb7e9c589993a5a644987614f09b605_XL.jpg

― Pheeel, Sunday, 26 June 2011 13:45 (fourteen years ago)

one month passes...

http://i.imgur.com/IvvOj.jpg

In this week's NME... (15/08/11)

One story has dominated the music world over the past week: the needless and mindless torching of a warehouse on London’s outskirts that has plunged the independent music sector into chaos. With £millions of stock up in flames, entire backcatalogues wiped out and the future of some of the country’s most beloved indie labels hanging in the balance, NME asks: will the UK indie scene ever be the same again?

Plus, the big clean up. The riots may have smashed up our cities, but they can’t break our spirits. Kaiser Chiefs, Emmy The Great, Everything Everything and Sam Duckworth lead the way as the UK music scene mucks in to get Britain back on its feet. Go indie!

So when did that racist girl off Big Brother take over at NME?

― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 16:24 (fourteen years ago)

so kasabian are talking about dinosaurs, and laura marling is talking about beast, but its kanye who's talking nonsense?

― sbgorf (stevie), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 18:25 (fourteen years ago)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/aug/18/nme-circulation-falls

Circulation now below 30,000. You could fit everyone who buys the NME into White Hart Lane and still have about 7000 seats left over.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 18 August 2011 13:58 (fourteen years ago)

that's the same warehouse torching that many people on this board expressed some degree of upset about, right? i know this cover is ... poorly expressed, but it doesn't really seem that bad of a deal

― thomp, Thursday, 18 August 2011 14:26 (fourteen years ago)

UK music scene mucks in to get Britain back on its feet. Go indie!

i really hate the 'cleaners-up = fascist' meme but... ugh @ this too

― old money entertainment (history mayne), Thursday, 18 August 2011 14:31 (fourteen years ago)

The riots may have smashed up our cities, but they can’t break our spirits.

who are we? (to be clear, i think rioting and looting are bad.)

― old money entertainment (history mayne), Thursday, 18 August 2011 14:32 (fourteen years ago)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/table/2011/aug/18/abcs-consumer-magazines

what the hell is that at #70 "Moshi Monsters Magazine" ?

― Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker, Thursday, 18 August 2011 14:34 (fourteen years ago)

^Top 100 selling UK publications list btw

― Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker, Thursday, 18 August 2011 14:35 (fourteen years ago)

Irish Farmers Journal coming in at a credible 92

― Number None, Thursday, 18 August 2011 14:36 (fourteen years ago)

Moshi Monsters is some kids thing. I only know this cos the photographer I work with a lot has little kids who are into it so he's mentioned it.

― lol sickmouthy (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 18 August 2011 14:53 (fourteen years ago)

one month passes...

NME: Welcome to the w*nk dungeon.

― anorange (abanana), Wednesday, 5 October 2011 14:41 (fourteen years ago)

?

― Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker, Wednesday, 5 October 2011 14:42 (fourteen years ago)

http://i53.tinypic.com/a9tie0.jpg

― anorange (abanana), Wednesday, 5 October 2011 14:43 (fourteen years ago)

I skimmed it on lunch and iirc that refers to an injoke some rubbish band featured in the mag had on their tour

xp

― the green manalishi (with the big boobies) (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 5 October 2011 14:45 (fourteen years ago)

It's the name of a "venue" it seems.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 5 October 2011 14:59 (fourteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b356/olem/nmepaws.jpg

― anatol_merklich, Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:21 (fourteen years ago)

BRING THEM BACK

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Observer/Columnist/Columnists/2010/11/6/1289045449458/Danny-Kelly-and-Danny-Bak-006.jpg

― ٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶ (sic), Thursday, 3 November 2011 22:49 (fourteen years ago)

has there ever been a poll for best nme editor?

― Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker, Thursday, 3 November 2011 22:53 (fourteen years ago)

ten months pass...

http://i.imgur.com/qk4zQ.jpg

Great lyrics writer Kurt "an albino, a mosquito" Cobain

― get you ass to mahs (abanana), Saturday, 8 September 2012 17:21 (thirteen years ago)

Alex Turner gives us an insight into his boundless imagination: "I write about what I see. What else is there?"

― Poor.Old.Tired.Horse. (Stew), Saturday, 8 September 2012 17:47 (thirteen years ago)

What a northern wit!

― get you ass to mahs (abanana), Saturday, 8 September 2012 17:48 (thirteen years ago)

There's only one word to describe that Libertines poster: classic.

― DavidM, Saturday, 8 September 2012 18:03 (thirteen years ago)

Christ the NME is depressing. Would hate to see the male to female cover artist face-count ratio for the last 5 years. And yet they still occasionally review good stuff (The Pheromoans album got an 8/10 this week, not bad for a 750 LP run on Upset The Rhythm) and have some decent writers in amongst the shit that means I hate them every time I succumb/have a long train journey and weaken and buy a copy.

― Cragenham Craig (Craigo Boingo), Saturday, 8 September 2012 18:12 (thirteen years ago)

"classic Libertines"

― centibutt hz (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 8 September 2012 18:15 (thirteen years ago)

Alex Turner gives us an insight into his boundless imagination: "I write about what I see. What else is there?"

― Poor.Old.Tired.Horse. (Stew), Saturday, September 8, 2012 5:47 PM (42 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

eh I don't particularly care for Alex Turner but this doesn't really work as a zing at all

― it's-a me, irl (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 8 September 2012 18:31 (thirteen years ago)

Well, it's not exactly the world's greatest zing, but Turner's non-more-realist rhetoric does betray a lack of imagination. Nothing wrong with realism, but my response to 'what else is there' would be, well, quite a bit more... Not that I'd necessarily want to hear him singing about warlocks and space demons...

― Poor.Old.Tired.Horse. (Stew), Saturday, 8 September 2012 21:39 (thirteen years ago)

Ooo lyrics. I like lyrics in songs.

― save the game like a memory card (cajunsunday), Saturday, 8 September 2012 21:47 (thirteen years ago)

Although in fairness to Alex Turner, he could be bringing some Kantian transcendental idealism into the NME by stealth...

― Poor.Old.Tired.Horse. (Stew), Sunday, 9 September 2012 11:37 (thirteen years ago)

Wonder if they manage to get through a whole issue on lyrics without mentioning hip hop.

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Sunday, 9 September 2012 13:27 (thirteen years ago)

Actually if it's a list-type situation they'll probably have Eminem and Mike Skinner.

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Sunday, 9 September 2012 13:30 (thirteen years ago)

funny you say that Craigo. check this:

http://www.thegirlsare.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/nme-covers-2-480x360.png

‘For Whatever Reason’ Annie Gardiner, 2012

installation of copies of NME magazine from 1989-2008. Piles of magazines divided by gender of artists depicted on the cover, as follows:

Female – Male – Both – None

― piscesx, Sunday, 9 September 2012 16:43 (thirteen years ago)

ha. i wonder how the wire would compare?

― tubular, mondo, gnabry (Merdeyeux), Sunday, 9 September 2012 16:50 (thirteen years ago)

Would probably have to go with cover mentions to compare with the Wire, given they do single artist photo covers with five or six others mentioned, whereas the NME has photo splashes where the Wire just has text mentions.

Over the last 2 years it's 2-15-3-4, solely based on cover photos.

― Cragenham Craig (Craigo Boingo), Sunday, 9 September 2012 17:41 (thirteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Last few months worth of NME covers according to Wikipedia:

25/04/12 John Lydon
01/05/12 2012 Summer Festivals Preview
08/05/12 Alabama Shakes
15/05/12 The Ramones
22/05/12 The Hot List
29/05/12 The Stone Roses
05/06/12 David Bowie
12/06/12 Mumford and Sons
19/06/12 100 Greatest Songs of NME's Lifetime
26/06/12 The Stone Roses
03/07/12 The Stone Roses
10/07/12 Florence and The Machine
17/07/12 The Rolling Stones
24/07/12 Muse
31/07/12 Two Door Cinema Club
07/08/12 Joe Strummer
14/08/12 The Killers
21/08/12 The Vaccines (Reading and Leeds 2012 preview)
28/08/12 Foo Fighters and Green Day (Reading and Leeds 2012 review)
04/09/12 Kurt Cobain
11/09/12 Joy Division
18/09/12 John Lennon

So the new editorial strategy appears to be 'Become Mojo'.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 10:52 (thirteen years ago)

I still didn't quite believe rock music was dead until I saw those covers all laid out like that. It's like they've given up.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 10:54 (thirteen years ago)

I wouldn't conflate rock magazine is dead with rock music is dead.

― how's life, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:02 (thirteen years ago)

yeah a bit like saying dance music died with Muzik or Jockey Slut

― Algerian Goalkeeper, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:04 (thirteen years ago)

except who would mourn if the nme died now

― Algerian Goalkeeper, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:05 (thirteen years ago)

it would be like the dandy where old people mourn old nme that hasnt existed in a long time

― Algerian Goalkeeper, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:06 (thirteen years ago)

It's probably a conflation of 'mainstream rock music is dead' with 'print media is dead' but you'd think they'd have more ideas than that.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:12 (thirteen years ago)

oh my god is that cobain cover real

― Hungry4Ass, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:15 (thirteen years ago)

classic Libertines!

― Hungry4Ass, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:16 (thirteen years ago)

matt maybe its actually selling more now than it was?

― Algerian Goalkeeper, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:19 (thirteen years ago)

Then that doesn't reflect well on the current state of its core stamping ground then does it?

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:28 (thirteen years ago)

more its readership

― Algerian Goalkeeper, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:29 (thirteen years ago)

You make it sound like these things are completely unconnected.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:33 (thirteen years ago)

current state of its core stamping ground

England?

― how's life, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:37 (thirteen years ago)

"Voice of a generation" - whose generation? I thought I was the tail end of the Nirvana generation (liked them but was too young to see them live) and I don't think my generation or the one above is really of much interest to the Nirvana readership; we're their parents and the boring office workers who clog up the buses at 8:30am when they go to school/college, surely?

I mean looking at that list maybe it is just selling to people a few years older than me who want to read about the Stone Roses for the billionth time, but... who are these people and did they not stop buying it a decade ago when it went Kerrang!-sized and the remaining 80 words per page became (possibly thankfully) unreadable due to being printed in e.g. hot pink on a red background?

― still small voice of clam (a passing spacecadet), Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:38 (thirteen years ago)

idk there will always be rock revivals

― A.R.R.Y. Kane (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:38 (thirteen years ago)

it is dead but will never die

― A.R.R.Y. Kane (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:38 (thirteen years ago)

i literally have no idea what class sixth formers + northern ppl listen to any more

― A.R.R.Y. Kane (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:40 (thirteen years ago)

/middle/ class

― A.R.R.Y. Kane (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:40 (thirteen years ago)

what about lower class and upper class?

― how's life, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:43 (thirteen years ago)

article in today's metro abt this:

http://www.metro.co.uk/music/913247-nme-celebrates-60th-birthday-but-can-it-reclaim-its-former-glory

― Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:43 (thirteen years ago)

There's no equivalent list of Kerrang covers but my guess would be they'd provide a much better picture of commercially successful rock music in 2012.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:44 (thirteen years ago)

in london anyway, working class kids tend to be more into 'urban'/dance or whatever

provinces + north 'indie'/rock has/had full spectrum dominance but again idk what music exactly the kids listen to these days

is it just like the vaccines + maybe odd future or something

― A.R.R.Y. Kane (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:49 (thirteen years ago)

kids i know seem to be mostly emo metal or mersh hip hop/r and b stuff

― syntax evasion (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 26 September 2012 11:58 (thirteen years ago)

i don't really remember anyone into metal when i were a lad but then that was in era when papa roach ruled metal

― A.R.R.Y. Kane (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 26 September 2012 12:00 (thirteen years ago)

also i guess every british thread shouldn't be about racism + class factionalism + general resentment/bitterness/stupidity but there was an awful lot of rhetoric towards rap/garage etc that could be described as crypto-racist in the same way as david laws could be described as a crypto-tory

i kinda imagine this might have improved in the last decade

― A.R.R.Y. Kane (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 26 September 2012 12:08 (thirteen years ago)

eleven months pass...

This week's is very, very bad and features the worst picture of Cobain I think I have ever seen.

― many machines on ilx (MaresNest), Thursday, 12 September 2013 13:38 (twelve years ago)

pic?

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 12 September 2013 13:39 (twelve years ago)

http://static.nme.com/images/13910_171007_NMECoverCMA3Nirvana100913.jpg

― Holy Shirt! (stevie), Thursday, 12 September 2013 13:45 (twelve years ago)

I have approx 250 words in it. Haven't read anything else in there yet, though.

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 12 September 2013 14:04 (twelve years ago)

ok that is a shitty photo

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 12 September 2013 14:10 (twelve years ago)

surprisingly good teeth i thought

― i'll be your mraz (NickB), Thursday, 12 September 2013 14:31 (twelve years ago)

He's American.

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 12 September 2013 14:33 (twelve years ago)

teeth too pretty to die young

anyhow, it looks like they have serious problems if M.I.A. is the newest artist mentioned on their front cover

― i'll be your mraz (NickB), Thursday, 12 September 2013 14:35 (twelve years ago)

change that '20 years' to '10 years' and the 'new' in nme makes some sense again.

― Waluigi Nono (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 12 September 2013 14:42 (twelve years ago)

on every nme cover ever: "Pete Doherty's back and up to his old tricks"

― idembanana (abanana), Thursday, 12 September 2013 16:23 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theguardian.com/media/2013/sep/24/nme-experiment-online-charge

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Tuesday, 24 September 2013 21:45 (twelve years ago)

Lol no way is that going to work, you're talking literally the most entitled readership ever.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 25 September 2013 10:42 (twelve years ago)

But it's "30p cheaper than one of the San Fransisco band's singles on iTunes."

― how's life, Wednesday, 25 September 2013 10:51 (twelve years ago)

Print circulation of the 62-year-old indie bible fell to 20,011 in the first half of this year, down from 56,284 five years ago, according to the latest Audit Bureau of Circulations figures. Visits to its website, however, have rocketed to an estimated 8 million users a month.

20,000 a week isn't very much.

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 25 September 2013 11:11 (twelve years ago)

If they're starting to go down the online payment route then how long until the papermag stops getting published?

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 25 September 2013 15:55 (twelve years ago)

http://www.musicweek.com/_media/images/NME_Relaunch_Bowie.jpg

― Mark G, Monday, 7 October 2013 11:57 (twelve years ago)

http://cdn.umg3.net/lanadelrey/images/sized/cdn/images/uploads/NME_Cover-597x739.jpg

― how's life, Monday, 7 October 2013 12:02 (twelve years ago)

no matter how hard she tries she still can't manage any look other than "boring and sullen"

― Bap & Ounge (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 October 2013 12:03 (twelve years ago)

Quite like the design of that new cover (although it's basically The Face) but that's a terrifying picture of Bowie.

― Matt DC, Monday, 7 October 2013 12:07 (twelve years ago)

***about BOXCAR time*** is so horrible my toes are still curled up in embarrassment for the sub

― Bap & Ounge (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 October 2013 12:13 (twelve years ago)

at least they didn't spell it 'MVSIC'

― PaulTMA, Monday, 7 October 2013 12:23 (twelve years ago)

'Why don't you call yourself New Mojo Express and just be done with it?'

― hewing to the status quo with great zealotry (DavidM), Monday, 7 October 2013 12:46 (twelve years ago)

the nme typeface bit looks nice. If there really are more reviews I might even read it in the co-op next time im in.

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 13:17 (twelve years ago)

also ldr has her tongue out. Miley copying her?

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 13:18 (twelve years ago)

look at the bottom left of the pic

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 15:09 (twelve years ago)

other way around, LDR copying Miley...

― i also enjoy in line skateing (spazzmatazz), Monday, 7 October 2013 15:11 (twelve years ago)

such an embarrassment, this rag

― lex pretend, Monday, 7 October 2013 15:13 (twelve years ago)

Difficult to say which is the bolder innovator in that regard.

― Matt DC, Monday, 7 October 2013 15:14 (twelve years ago)

"January 2012" ?

― Mark G, Monday, 7 October 2013 15:19 (twelve years ago)

Miley Cyrus's Video For "We Can't Stop" (Being Badass Means Sticking Your Tongue Out A Lot Apparently...) [Started by scott seward in June 2013

― Mark G, Monday, 7 October 2013 15:19 (twelve years ago)

correct
xp

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 15:19 (twelve years ago)

other way around, LDR copying Miley...

LDR was copying Miley over 18 months ago?

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Monday, 7 October 2013 15:20 (twelve years ago)

Del Lana Montana?

― Mark G, Monday, 7 October 2013 15:22 (twelve years ago)

i know who carries it off better

― Bap & Ounge (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 October 2013 15:23 (twelve years ago)

as posted elsewhere
http://cdn.thedailybeast.com/content/dailybeast/articles/2013/04/19/lil-bub-the-world-s-cutest-cat-stars-in-documentary-lil-bub-friendz-at-tribeca/_jcr_content/body/inlineimage.img.503.jpg/1366337940819.cached.jpg

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 15:48 (twelve years ago)

how long has nme been using "The Past,Present and Future Of Music" as a byline? What direction are they taking now then? Beatles/Dylan on the cover every 3 months like Mojo/Uncut ? or reprinting classic features of the past?

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 15:58 (twelve years ago)

How much photoshopping on Bowie's jowels/neck? A lot.

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 7 October 2013 16:01 (twelve years ago)

Never seen it before. (xpost)

― Mark G, Monday, 7 October 2013 16:02 (twelve years ago)

reprinting old features could be good i suppose but we already have mojo/uncut etc for new articles on old music. We dont need new articles on the glory days of britpop/landfill/libertines

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 16:05 (twelve years ago)

But David Bowie’s not the only thing to get excited about in the new NME. Here are five more reasons why our latest reinvention matters:

The new NME will set the weekly music agenda

Every week we’ll ensure that we’re not only reflecting the biggest talking points in music, but also setting the agenda for the next seven days. Whether that’s through insightful opinion pieces (this week, MIA reacts to being sued by the NFL), or exclusive stories and photos, NME magazine is everything that matters in music, every week.

The new NME is packed with information

No-one wants to pick up a magazine and get the feeling that they’re reading regurgitated guff from Wikipedia. That’s not our thing, and it’s important to us that you know that. We’ll make sure that everything you read in the new NME is thoughtful, insightful and properly curated, whether you’re reading about the 20 most essential tracks of the week in our enhanced On Repeat section, a classic album in our new Anatomy Of An Album feature, or the songs that changed someone’s life in Soundtrack Of My Life.

The new NME is a voice you can believe in

It’s never been more important to us that you feel you can trust our knowledge and opinions, and the only way we can achieve that is by being credible. That means believing in the artists we champion – and the way we champion them. Each week, we’ll write passionately about the best emerging artists in our bigger and improved Radar section, give you honest and informed verdicts on next week’s most important albums and last week’s vital gigs, and take you into our archive for classic features from the past 60 years of NME that highlight how deep this passion and knowledge runs.

The new NME is for all music fans

We know that you all love music just as much as we do, and are all incredibly knowledgeable too, and therefore we’ll never be patronising and never talk down to you. Every word we write will be open to all. Whether you’re the expert looking for that extra bit of insight, or the rookie discovering an artist for the first time, we’ll make sure that you can take something meaningful away from the page.

The new NME is essential

We’re not naïve. The world is full of choice, and in order to remain relevant today, music magazines need to adapt. At NME we’re incredibly proud of the progress we’ve made as a brand, creating the world’s biggest music website, continuing to innovate on mobile and tablet, and putting out some of the most exciting live shows of the year, every year, and NME magazine remains an absolutely vital part of our plan. If we deliver on everything we’ve promised, continue to get the best access to the artists you care about, share the passion that you all have for a whole world’s worth of music and capture it with insightful words and iconic photography, we’ll be the essential music magazine for everyone who shares our belief in the power of amazing music and brilliant music journalism.

We hope you like the new NME. Write in and let us know what you think: lett✧✧✧@n✧✧.c✧✧
Read more at http://www.nme.com/blogs/nme-blogs/welcome-to-the-new-nme?&recache=1&t=1231374#cbCeWOY9m8gTUVdr.99

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 16:30 (twelve years ago)

oh good, agendas and importance, just what music needs

― Bap & Ounge (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 October 2013 16:33 (twelve years ago)

The NME may as well just become a monthly magazine now, shouldn't it?

― hewing to the status quo with great zealotry (DavidM), Monday, 7 October 2013 16:35 (twelve years ago)

a monthly podcast

― Bap & Ounge (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 October 2013 16:36 (twelve years ago)

If it did then it couldnt set the agenda for the next seven days!

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 16:37 (twelve years ago)

think i'll manage

― Bap & Ounge (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 October 2013 16:43 (twelve years ago)

What's tomorrow?

― Mark G, Monday, 7 October 2013 17:05 (twelve years ago)

http://www.nme.com/blogs/nme-blogs/5-ways-hmv-will-change-for-the-better-by-hilco-boss?recache=1&t=1231313

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 17:13 (twelve years ago)

More mugs. That'll get it baby!

― Mark G, Monday, 7 October 2013 18:06 (twelve years ago)

not just any mugs

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 18:09 (twelve years ago)

Did the NME really just publish a press release from the boss of a private investment vehicle? Wow.

― Matt DC, Monday, 7 October 2013 18:10 (twelve years ago)

Rge last of the 5 is a good one tbf

Improve what we stock
When Hilco took over, HMV could no longer afford to stock as many artists as it should. We’re putting a lot of effort into improving that. We need to stock as wide a range of music as possible. Band merchandise is something we want to engage with as well. You’ll see a good selection of T-shirts, mugs and so on for the bigger acts like The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, and it’s something that will get bigger.

Relaunch our digital store
HMV got left behind in the digital revolution and didn’t have a digital presence for too long. We need to quickly get HMV up to speed, and will be announcing a relaunch of our digital side within the next month, so that people can buy from us in the way they want.

Increase the number of Fopp stores
We rescued the nine remaining Fopp branches as part of the HMV deal. We’ve been examining what’s going on the independent record store market and learned some good practice there, which we can act on via Fopp. It’s quite a different brand from HMV and we’re looking to expand the number of Fopp stores.

In-store gigs
Blur played on the roof at 363 Oxford Street in 1995, and we want the return of event appearances like that. But it isn’t just about big names. Our Irish branches have specific evenings dedicated to breaking local new bands, and that’s something to consider in the UK too, as part of interacting with the music industry. Around October 18th, we’ll be announcing one of the biggest names in the world as playing a gig at our newly-reopened flagship store at 363 Oxford Street in London.

Listen to local stores
We’re building a programme that will let local staff to decide how high a percentage of product goes into their stores. So many cities have local scenes, and they need to be represented in our stores.

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 18:10 (twelve years ago)

Actually maybe not. They dont get to choose what to stock just the amount of what they're told to stock.

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, 7 October 2013 18:11 (twelve years ago)

that new HMV in Oxford Street is tiny.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Monday, 7 October 2013 22:06 (twelve years ago)

Not as big as it used to be?

― Mark G, Monday, 7 October 2013 22:38 (twelve years ago)

they've relocated to where HMV used to be in olden times, but it's only three floors, and much smaller than what used to be their flagship london store.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Monday, 7 October 2013 22:49 (twelve years ago)

when that HMV closes another bit of my youth will die, like when they demolished the Astoria ;;

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Monday, 7 October 2013 22:49 (twelve years ago)

Hopefully this will be the Lamacq of relaunches

― PaulTMA, Tuesday, 8 October 2013 00:04 (twelve years ago)

bigger acts like The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, and it’s something that will get bigger.

― I'm disillusioned about what Labour are going to do to my asp (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 8 October 2013 10:19 (twelve years ago)

http://images1.mtv.com/uri/mgid:uma:content:mtv.com:1606329?width=281&height=211

Hey HMV - Getta loada these mugs!

― how's life, Tuesday, 8 October 2013 10:55 (twelve years ago)

Was interesting to see how Empik (the Polish equivalent of HMV) has sustained its position over the last couple of years. They're offering a load of different youth-orientated services (including one of the biggest language schools in Warsaw) alongside the traditional retail side.

― Inte Regina Lund eller nån, mitt namn är (ShariVari), Tuesday, 8 October 2013 11:30 (twelve years ago)

Anyone going to buy the new look NME?

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Tuesday, 8 October 2013 15:04 (twelve years ago)

I'm not, but I wish it well. The new ethos, however new it is, sounds healthy, and there's some great people there now, Laura Snapes and Jenny Stevens especially.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Tuesday, 8 October 2013 15:47 (twelve years ago)

As long as it covers music I'm not interested in I wont be buying it. Same goes for Kerrang. (One day I hope they start covering good music)

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Tuesday, 8 October 2013 16:22 (twelve years ago)

ps i liked your cover story. Read it in the co!

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Tuesday, 8 October 2013 16:22 (twelve years ago)

Ha! Thank you. Please understand that I had no part whatsoever in the final sentence.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Tuesday, 8 October 2013 16:40 (twelve years ago)

Ooh, what's the final sentence? "Catch ya on the flipside"? "Love 'em or hate 'em they're here to stay"? "And with that, they are gone"? "Shine on you crazy diamonds"?

― Deafening silence (DL), Tuesday, 8 October 2013 20:36 (twelve years ago)

will dm you dl

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Tuesday, 8 October 2013 22:51 (twelve years ago)

poor dl being daily mailed

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Tuesday, 8 October 2013 23:03 (twelve years ago)

I bet Mark G bought it (for the bowie)

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 12:46 (twelve years ago)

Nope.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 9 October 2013 15:25 (twelve years ago)

the from the vaults article is sid vicious in prison after nancy's murder

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 17:14 (twelve years ago)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

― I like to tackle hard and am crazy (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 17:15 (twelve years ago)

oh i forgot there's a short article by nick kent from 78 too

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 18:15 (twelve years ago)

Weird. I thought those things - Nick Kent, Sid Vicious, Bowie - were Mojo rather than NME, these days.

― djh, Wednesday, 9 October 2013 19:20 (twelve years ago)

the byline is "The Past, Present And Future Of Music" now
http://i.imgur.com/xqabL4A.jpg

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 19:33 (twelve years ago)

There was no actual Bowie interview either.

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 19:35 (twelve years ago)

wonder when Johnny Marr will be back on the cover again

― PaulTMA, Wednesday, 9 October 2013 20:36 (twelve years ago)

There was no actual Bowie interview either.

Wait. What??

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 20:36 (twelve years ago)

whoever said that cover looked like the face is otm. bottom half looks a lot like the wire too. but neither would have done that horrid underlining thing iirc.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 20:41 (twelve years ago)

twas me

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 20:45 (twelve years ago)

the bowie stuff was on him by those mentioned on the cover (irvine welsh etc)

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 20:46 (twelve years ago)

multiple x-post. Yes, had seen that. I guess what I am wondering is: who is the magazine for now?

― djh, Wednesday, 9 October 2013 21:18 (twelve years ago)

Not sure they know

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 21:21 (twelve years ago)

There was no actual Bowie interview either.

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, October 9, 2013 7:35 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

tbf the cover makes that as clear as possible short of actually saying "we tried to speak to him but no-one would let us"

― when I was Ted Croker man I couldn't picture this (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 10 October 2013 09:30 (twelve years ago)

Wasn't AG joking about being outraged by the absence of a Bowie interview? If he hasn't felt the need to do one so far this year he's obviously not going to start now.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 10 October 2013 09:55 (twelve years ago)

I'm... sort of not outraged, but impressed by the chutzpah while also questioning the wisdom of NME's relaunch issue arriving with the subtext "We don't even have enough weight as a title anymore to get an interview with our cover star." Obviously Bowie's not doing any interviews, so its not NME's 'fault' that they didn't get to talk to him. But if so, why put him on the cover? Why 'bait and switch' your readership in the issue that's supposed to relaunch the brand and win a new, hopefully loyal consumer base? Why not put someone else on the cover? And why on Earth put an artist with a discography stretching back six decades on the cover of the issue that relaunches the New Musical Express?

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 10:04 (twelve years ago)

I mean I know it's an obvious point to make and it's an open goal and whatever. And maybe it's a bit 'Get orff my land" coming from a MOJO contributor, but really.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 10:05 (twelve years ago)

[And once again, I want this relaunch to be awesome, even though I don't write for NME, partly because a healthy and successful NME helps all of us in the world of music journalism, and partly because I think there are some great people working there now]

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 10:06 (twelve years ago)

I agree. I want NME to succeed and it's a tough market.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 10 October 2013 10:33 (twelve years ago)

[Obvs I want MOJO and Kerrang! to continue to do much better than NME, obv. I want the sea level to raise all boats!]

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 10:40 (twelve years ago)

haha I wasn't outraged

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 12:43 (twelve years ago)

What are Kerrang and MOJO's circulation figures like? And Q? Does Uncut still exist?

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 10 October 2013 12:53 (twelve years ago)

I think MOJO's still the best selling monthly in the country, and I think K! still outsells NME, but I don't seek out ABC figures as they're rarely good news.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 12:56 (twelve years ago)

From what I can see:

Kerrang - 37,603
NME - 20,011
Mojo - 79,345
Q - 58,980
Uncut - 56,894
Classic Rock - 56,714
Mixmag - 14,602

Spot the pattern there.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:09 (twelve years ago)

Also the lead review this week is a page-and-a-half review of the new Paul McCartney album. Seriously.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:12 (twelve years ago)

I wonder how much those expensive "specials" mags cost by the likes of NME and Classic Rock. There's like 10 issues of Classic Rock Magazine Presents : AOR

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:17 (twelve years ago)

cost? I mean SELL

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:17 (twelve years ago)

For what it does on the tin Mojo's the worthy leader there

― Master of Treacle, Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:19 (twelve years ago)

did that 80s pop mojo type magazine get to issue 2?

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:27 (twelve years ago)

issue 7 and still going by the look of it.

― woof, Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:40 (twelve years ago)

Huh. I'd never seen its stablemate, Vintage Rock

― woof, Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:43 (twelve years ago)

Ive not even heard of that. Never seen the 80s pop mag in Smiths tbh

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:45 (twelve years ago)

Ooh, Classic Pop looks pretty good tbh.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:45 (twelve years ago)

Spot the pattern there.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:09 (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The older the target readership, the better the circulation figure. Except for Kerrang.

― Mark G, Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:45 (twelve years ago)

From memory of Careless Talk, it's eye-wateringly expensive to get a magazine on the shelves of Smiths.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:46 (twelve years ago)

Kerrang!'s been at around double the circulation figures of NME since 2002 IIRC.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:46 (twelve years ago)

blimey its on issue 8

xps

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:47 (twelve years ago)

Kerrang was selling over 70,000 5 years ago, mainly to teenage girls according to a survey apparently.

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:49 (twelve years ago)

I remember an electronic mag launched but I cant find it but I did stumble across
http://electronicsound.co.uk/
Think its app only though no print version

http://electronicsound.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cover4-01.png

Our latest issue features GARY NUMAN giving us the inside story on his new album, ‘Splinter’… JOHN FOXX remembers his Ultravox days and ‘Metamatic’… THE ORB’S ALEX PATERSON reveals his influences… Plus interviews with CAN founder IRMIN SCHMIDT, BORIS BLANK from YELLO, BILL LEEB from FRONT LINE ASSEMBLY, POLLY SCATTERGOOD, BOOM BOOM SATELLITES, ULTRAMARINE, CLARA HILL, ULRICH SCHNAUSS AND MARK PETERS and SIN COS TAN… BOY’S OWN guv’nor TERRY FARLEY on the early days of acid house, FINI TRIBE’S DAVY MILLER on the making of ‘Detestimony’, and JACK DANGERS on HENK BADINGS and the PHILIPS RESEARCH LABORATORY. We also review albums by FACTORY FLOOR, NYPC, CHVRCHES, VILE ELECTRODES, MARCEL DETTMANN, GIORGIO MORODER and loads more. Tune in and oscillate!

Electronic Sound is a new UK-based magazine dedicated to the very best in electronic music. We’ve drawn a line through the entire history of electronica and we’re intent on finding new ways to join the dots. Each month, we’ll features weighty interviews, in-depth reviews, great photography, and lots of video and audio clips. Tune in and oscillate!

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:58 (twelve years ago)

Could you do that line over but sound a bit more worried please pfunk? I have been sat on a kerr-angst pun for so long now, it's going to split me in two when it finally pops out. Thanks!

oops xp

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 10 October 2013 13:59 (twelve years ago)

I think K! has had a mainly-female readership for a long, long time to be honest. And I think that's a good thing?

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:02 (twelve years ago)

Kerrang was selling over 70,000 5 years ago, mainly to teenage girls according to a survey apparently. AND NOW ITS FALLING AND OH THE DESPAIR

xp

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:03 (twelve years ago)

everyone's falling. it's a miserable time.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:05 (twelve years ago)

Pretty sure that teenagers have basically stopped buying magazines in their entirety.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:06 (twelve years ago)

but we might get a quality pun from nick b out of it!
xp

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:06 (twelve years ago)

they have websites now. from a financial point of view it's hard to argue with.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:07 (twelve years ago)

xp oh i buggered that up there didn't i

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:07 (twelve years ago)

it's all spoilt now!

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:08 (twelve years ago)

I cant really imagine teenagers buying digital magazines for their phones/ipads

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:09 (twelve years ago)

It's amazing that the NME website is still so poor, especially given that Pitchfork exists and, for all its faults, is still a pretty great example of how to structure an online publication.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:14 (twelve years ago)

former pitchfork uk person Laura Snapes is now NME's features ed iirc so hopefully that will lead to a perking up of the website. MOJO's website has recently had a relaunch, lots of ace stuff to read on there.

NickB, to make up for ballsing up the joke twice...

Kerrang was selling over 70,000 5 years ago, mainly to teenage girls according to a survey apparently. AND NOW ITS FALLING AND OH THE DESPAIR

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:16 (twelve years ago)

I think I need to be the one saying it?

Kerrang was selling over 70,000 5 years ago, mainly to teenage girls according to a survey apparently. AND NOW ITS FALLING AND OH THE DESPAIR

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:41 (twelve years ago)

Laura's good but she was editorial not technical; I can't see her exerting influence over interfaces and usability.

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:53 (twelve years ago)

Kerrang was selling over 70,000 5 years ago, mainly to teenage girls according to a survey apparently. AND NOW ITS FALLING AND OH THE DESPAIR

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:53 (twelve years ago)

ha too late i flounced off already!

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:55 (twelve years ago)

I don't really get why Laura Snapes is seen as the barometer of quality these days, I mean she's better than most of them but her writing isn't exactly spectacular and she has the most boring taste in music imaginable.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 10 October 2013 14:59 (twelve years ago)

otm.

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 10 October 2013 15:03 (twelve years ago)

I can imagine much more boring taste.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 10 October 2013 15:06 (twelve years ago)

I can imagine much more exciting though.

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 10 October 2013 15:12 (twelve years ago)

But it probably wouldn't sell a weekly magazine to teenagers and students. Saying that, not much seems to.

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 10 October 2013 15:12 (twelve years ago)

ahh there's the thread I started
CLASSIC POP Magazine - ILM's Ideal Magazine for Old Farts?

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 October 2013 15:21 (twelve years ago)

i spent some money in fopp today and was given a free copy of the bowie nme. it is not to my tastes, but i was impressed by how PACKED, content-wise, it was. seemed p gd value for £2.40

― Ward Fowler, Friday, 11 October 2013 18:59 (twelve years ago)

Was there lots of reviews?

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Saturday, 12 October 2013 15:59 (twelve years ago)

So this week NME is asserting its new brand by publishing (print only, can't find it online) its 500 greatest albums of all time list.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:01 (twelve years ago)

There are some interesting choices. They don't seem to like dance music at all. Or jazz. Or much hip hop beyond Kanye. They like The Strokes a lot. And The Smiths. These aren't surprises.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:02 (twelve years ago)

what's the top 5?

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:03 (twelve years ago)

From memory: SMiths, Strokes, WhiteAlbum, Pulp, um...

― Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:06 (twelve years ago)

I think it was collated by:

50 people listed their 50 top albums,
then the "top 50 albums of each year" got incorporated in.

Oh yeah, Stone Roses.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:07 (twelve years ago)

haha, fucking hell

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:08 (twelve years ago)

Top 10:

10. Definitely Maybe
9. White Album
8. Doolittle
7. Stone Roses
6. Different Class
5. VU & Nico
4. Is This It?
3. Hunky Dory
2. Revolver
1. The Queen Is Dead.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:08 (twelve years ago)

Lots of 'alumni' of the paper submitted top 50s, plus every top 50 ever published, #1 gets 50 points, #2 49 etc etc.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:09 (twelve years ago)

I doubt very much that they'll have gerrymandered results, before anyone suggests that.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:10 (twelve years ago)

thanks nick, that's one grim list

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:10 (twelve years ago)

I doubt very much that they'll have gerrymandered results, before anyone suggests that.

they fuckin' should have, out of embarrassment

― ͼѾͽ (sic), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:20 (twelve years ago)

20. OK Computer
19. Whatever People Say I Am etc etc
18. Loveless
17. It Takes A Nation Of Millions...
16. Closer
15. Let England Shake
14. Low
13. Funeral
12. Horses
11. Nevermind

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:20 (twelve years ago)

30. Enter The Wu-Tang
29. Marquee Moon
28. Back to Black
27. Screamadelica
26. Pet Sounds
25. What's Going On
24. Exile On Main Street
23. Ziggy Stardust
22. Parklife
21. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:21 (twelve years ago)

50. Dusty in Memphis
49. Sound of Silver
48. Hounds of Love
47. Strangeways, Here We Come
46. Debut (Bjork)
45. Parallel Lines
44. Holy Bible
43. Rubber Soul
42. Innervisions
41. Daydream Nation
40. Unknown Pleasures
39. London Calling
38. Never Mind The Bollocks
37. Forever Changes
36. Blood on the Tracks
35. In Utero
34. Abbey Road
33. Modern Life is Rubish
32. Paul's Boutique
31. Dog Man Star

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:24 (twelve years ago)

Album Poll Connections!

14. Low
13. Funeral
12. Horses
11. Nevermind

― Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 10:08 (twelve years ago)

John Mulvey's submitted list: http://www.uncut.co.uk/blog/wild-mercury-sound/my-top-50-albums-of-all-time-subject-to-change

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 10:50 (twelve years ago)

I like John a lot but that's a very, very Uncut list.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 10:51 (twelve years ago)

Still think this list was awesome: http://stylusmagazine.com/articles/weekly_article/top-101-200-favourite-albums-ever-the-stylus-magazine-list.htm

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 10:52 (twelve years ago)

Music mag that champions guitar bands lists loads of guitar bands in its best albums ever list … shock!

Still don't understand why this surprises people. I dread to think how I'd be crucified if I listed my 50 favourite ever albums.

― Unsettled defender (ithappens), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 11:06 (twelve years ago)

Unless you're a teenager (ie in NME's target market) these things are only really interesting in a kind of stock exchange way (the stock of Bowie, Morrissey and the Pixies is way up, Beatles more or less as they were, Radiohead way down).

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 11:17 (twelve years ago)

Nirvana down as well apparently.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 11:18 (twelve years ago)

xposts

Yes, obviously, and that's fine and to be expected, etc, and I know that 'rock' writers are absolutely petrified of jazz, but there's still 500 albums listed here, and there's only (rough count) maybe 9 or 10 records I'd count as electronic / dance (Chemical Brothers, DJ Shadow, Avalanches, The Orb, Daft Punk [x2], Aphex Twin [x2], Prodigy [x2], Fever Ray, MIA; didn't cunt Primal Scream or Kraftwerk), the highest of which (and only one in the top 100) is Discovery (at 76), and there's only two jazz albums that I've spotted (Love Supreme and Kind of Blue). I've probably missed some by scanning through at my desk while I eat a sandwich.

I know these lists are an arsehole to put together, and I know why they get put together, I guess I'm just always a bit boggled at them. I probably spend too log on here and not reading the mainstream music press so I've forgotten how rock-centric it is.

Matt's totally right re: the stock exchange fascination; The Smiths and Bowie are way, way up at the moment.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 11:28 (twelve years ago)

Amusing typo in there next to Primal Scream.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 11:28 (twelve years ago)

Music mag that champions guitar bands lists loads of guitar bands in its best albums ever list … shock!

I get that but even if you accept the predictable indie guitar bias, this list is so parochial, so heavy on middling Britpop albums and the most tepid American stuff. It's the lack of evolution that surprises me, like Matt says, this is the same bunch of soft-scoop choices as ten years ago but just shuffled around a bit.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 11:40 (twelve years ago)

I grew up in the era where guitar acts shared the revolving front-cover of NME with electronic artists and rappers and so on, so I always find it somehow sad that it's just accepted that the magazine "champions guitar bands" over all other music nowadays, even though it was probably true back when I read it (and was certainly mostly true when I wrote for it).

I much prefer lists that challenge canons rather than reinforce them, tbh.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 11:42 (twelve years ago)

OTM.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 11:43 (twelve years ago)

I think that's the thing for me; when I read NME every week cover-to-cover it felt like it was forcibly squeezing my mind wider to let in techno and dance and hip hop and experimental music and all sorts of other stuff, but maybe this is me rose-tinting things from a great distance (best part of 20 years). Same went for Select and Vox, too.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 11:46 (twelve years ago)

I bought these mags to have my ears and my mind opened, not to have my prejudices massaged. And I always felt like Melody Maker - with ET, Kulkarni, Sharon O'Connell, Cathi Unsworth, Chris Roberts, Simon Price, Taylor, Caitlin et al - did a much better job of this than NME back then.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 11:56 (twelve years ago)

OTM

― ۩, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 12:01 (twelve years ago)

I can't really complain about this list though, as I was invited to contribute my own Top 50 to it, but I really hate making those lists, and I'll be fucked if I'd do it without being paid to do so.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 12:08 (twelve years ago)

http://www.nme.com/blogs/nme-blogs/nme-staff-pick-their-top-10-greatest-albums-of-all-time?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=top10albums&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=500method

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 12:34 (twelve years ago)

Would rather more lists with five The National albums in them than the welter of lists with The Beatles in them, and I don't care about The National.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 12:35 (twelve years ago)

Yeah, I thought that was kind of sweet and super honest.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 12:37 (twelve years ago)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL at those lists

just fucking terrible, like even more canon-craven and dull than you'd even expect, these are YOUNG writers? beyond fucking parody

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:25 (twelve years ago)

These are albums that millions of people like but the lack of imagination is beyond parody, especially that Eve Barlow one.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:28 (twelve years ago)

Conformity is the new rock'n'roll

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:30 (twelve years ago)

I honestly can't imagine loving The National that much (or hating them really) and I dunno if it's the connotation-free name or the singer's voice or some quality of the music itself but I have difficulty ascribing any distinctive sonic characteristics to them at all.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:32 (twelve years ago)

every time i'm reminded that eve barlow continues to hold a senior editorial position at a national publication despite that despicable racist blog she wrote a while ago it's just...kind of lol but mostly sad

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:35 (twelve years ago)

They don't really have any distinctive sonic characteristics at all, and I say that quite liking them: it's kind of the point that they don't have a USP, they're just A. Good. Rock. Band.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:35 (twelve years ago)

I'm totally National-agnostic, but Laura choosing 5 National albums seems so much more honest and genuine and exciting and funny and provocative than everyone lining up to say how good the Beatles were.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:36 (twelve years ago)

on the one hand that's correct but on the other: the nationalolololololoLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLL

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:36 (twelve years ago)

also for fun: number of women in those lists, number of non-white artists in those lists, GO!

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:37 (twelve years ago)

though it's not like the nme hasn't been a proud bastion of musical conservatism for as long as i've been aware of it so whatevzzzz

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:38 (twelve years ago)

Dude, with all due respect and I love you and you know that, I'd be the same way if your list included five Paris Hilton albums (I know I know) - I'd think it was rad because it was honest and it might you know start a conversation about something BIGGER and Laura would probably reply paris hiltlololololololololol, and that's the way it should be. The IPC Sub-Editors Who Dictate Our Youth telling everyone that The Beatles and The Stones were as good as it got so why even bother is not the way it should be.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:39 (twelve years ago)

Te guy with four Stones albums in a row makes me want to set my head on fire.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:40 (twelve years ago)

even the conservative choices are conservative album choices.

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:40 (twelve years ago)

no i just meant in that the national are p much as conservative as it gets musically so even though by the lamentable standards of this exercise it's certainly a radical and honest move it...isn't actually all that different to beatles/stones worship in terms of broadening anything

xps

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:41 (twelve years ago)

it's kind of the point that they don't have a USP, they're just A. Good. Rock. Band.

That doesn't explain loving them so much you think they made the four best albums ever though, although I don't doubt that love is sincere.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:41 (twelve years ago)

I couldn't even begin comprehending trying to explain why anyone would love them that much.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:42 (twelve years ago)

i dont like his list but will stick up for dann stubbs being a really solid , top guy, even though he promised me work and then never delivered

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:57 (twelve years ago)

he did get me a date that went really badly tho

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:57 (twelve years ago)

would you let him drive the train to cork?

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:58 (twelve years ago)

despicable racist blog

???

― Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:01 (twelve years ago)

dan stubbs is lovely

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:04 (twelve years ago)

Eve's despicable racist blog was sort-of defending Lena Dunham for not having any non-white characters in Girls.

cosign, Dan is nice.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:04 (twelve years ago)

cringe that she hasn't even taken it down yet http://eve-barlow.tumblr.com/post/33109972052/wtf-is-woc-weapons-of-colour

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:04 (twelve years ago)

i dont like his list but will stick up for dann stubbs being a really solid , top guy, even though he promised me work and then never delivered

haha i don't know him but the first and second halves of this sentence don't go together

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:05 (twelve years ago)

Dan is a good guy. Eve is not a despicable racist but that is an eye-wateringly simplistic blog.

― Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:10 (twelve years ago)

There's an aggressive defensiveness to a lot of her writing that I mostly put down to youth + not really having thought things through properly.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:12 (twelve years ago)

Eve is not a despicable racist but that is an eye-wateringly simplistic blog.

Agreed. I would delete it, and then deny its existence.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:15 (twelve years ago)

you don't have to be a racist to do racist things and that blog reeked of it. i will grant you that she is merely an idiot with the usual low-level white middle-class liberal prejudices and privilege rather than a fully paid-up BNP member, however

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:16 (twelve years ago)

It's an awful, terrible blog.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:17 (twelve years ago)

Yeah belligerent naivete is nagl and I have no desire to restage the Lena Dunham privilege wars. All I can say is that's by far the stupidest thing she's written and I wouldn't judge on her that alone.

― Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:27 (twelve years ago)

yay Dog Man Star!

― piscesx, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:36 (twelve years ago)

oh my god, google autocorrect and eve barlow <3

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:40 (twelve years ago)

That whole blog is astonishing.

― boxedjoy, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:42 (twelve years ago)

Today a journalist left Twitter which is a shame because a) she was lovely and humble on Twitter, b) she tweeted about house music at approx 11pm which is usually the time I play bangers by Frankie Knuckles, SL2 and Capella (all I really listen to is a CD called The All Time Greatest Hits Of Dance 2) and it was nice to share that and 3) she was good at explaining Newsnight and Question Time – TV programmes that are so inaccessible to me they regularly convince me I have severe learning disabilities.

― boxedjoy, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:44 (twelve years ago)

you mean the google autocomplete?

yeah, just tried it..

― Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:47 (twelve years ago)

I think I'm doing OK in life as long as Google autocomplete doesn't include "racist" in the first 10 options.

― Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 15:10 (twelve years ago)

Tried Morrissey, you have to add a space and an 'r' before..

And even then, you get "robert smith" higher up on the suglist.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 15:21 (twelve years ago)

creepy, my google autocomplete contains my workplace.

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 15:40 (twelve years ago)

Google autocomplete is based on your own search history, guys.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 15:41 (twelve years ago)

^^^ megalols

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 15:51 (twelve years ago)

what does that mean when "racist" comes up for someone you've never met? it can't be solely based on your own.

i was thinking "i've never searched for myself and my own workplace" but i did a few weeks ago as i had an interview and wanted to find some work i'd done.

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 15:53 (twelve years ago)

#anecdote

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 15:53 (twelve years ago)

i think nick was trying to make a joke?

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 15:59 (twelve years ago)

i don't like comedy

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 16:06 (twelve years ago)

can't stay i've got to go and cash my cheque at the bank of zing

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 16:07 (twelve years ago)

top 50 breakdown

uk: 27
usa: 21
canada: 1
iceland: 1

― zanana rebozo (abanana), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 17:29 (twelve years ago)

John Mulvey's submitted list: http://www.uncut.co.uk/blog/wild-mercury-sound/my-top-50-albums-of-all-time-subject-to-change

my main takeaway from this was "mulvey used to iron his hair?" and then I thought I can't even remember anything about his writing

also, lol at Liquid Swords and Maggot Brain

― ͼѾͽ (sic), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 17:42 (twelve years ago)

ugh that was the most ILM post of all time, apologies, setting myself on fire, brb

― ͼѾͽ (sic), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 17:43 (twelve years ago)

lol at Liquid Swords and Maggot Brain

why?

― when I was Ted Croker man I couldn't picture this (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 18:02 (twelve years ago)

I think that's the thing for me; when I read NME every week cover-to-cover it felt like it was forcibly squeezing my mind wider to let in techno and dance and hip hop and experimental music and all sorts of other stuff, but maybe this is me rose-tinting things from a great distance (best part of 20 years). Same went for Select and Vox, too.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, October 23, 2013 11:46 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

without wishing to speak for you this doesn't seem like rose-tinting to me exactly, more symptomatic of the differences between being in your teens in the mid-90s and being in your 30s in 2013... like in let's say 1995 I had very little recourse to expanding my horizons about music other than reading the music press which is *mostly* a case of skimming the surface of stuff. there were reviews of techno/hip-hop/experimental music in there and there still are now (I know this cos sometimes I write them), and most of them are/were probably fairly rote and obvious selections from the respective genre, but I think there are a huge pool of readers, esp youthful ones, for whom it's still really off their normal indie radar. whether they give enough of a shit to even so much as check out e.g. Tim Hecker, who the fuck knows

not saying that the mag is exactly the same as 15-20 years ago but I feel like more ppl should acknowledge the fact that they're 15-20 years older

― when I was Ted Croker man I couldn't picture this (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 18:29 (twelve years ago)

A lot of that was confined to the Singles page, I think, it made the individual tastes of different writers really obvious and it was obvious that there were people championing their own favourites to get them into the paper.

The idea of a cacophony of voices disagreeing with one another was on the wane throughout the 90s and possibly even before that. Still, I'm pretty sure that the Conor McNicholas era actively discouraged it in a way, although its coverage has broadened somewhat since then, but the print media apocalypse coupled with the damage that was done during that era has meant that no one really has the courage to fully row back from that, and it would probably be commercial suicide anyway.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 18:42 (twelve years ago)

I have a copy of Vox from late 96 or early 97 and it's like looking into a different world. Most of the non-indie picks are cringeworthily obvious but it's the non-music stuff that's really weird, like it's stuffed full of tobacco advertising and there's an article on how rock and roll Tony Blair is.

There's also a big interview with Nick Cave that could have been in any magazine at any point in the intervening 16 years.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 18:45 (twelve years ago)

Wasn't joking re: Google autocomplete, btw; if you're signed in to your Google or Gmail account then EVERY thing you search for is logged and run through algorithms and compiled and analysed. And if you're using Google Chrome, then every fucking thing you do on the internet is run through the same stuff, too. All that furore about GCHQ spying on us? Google have been doing it for a decade + and are really good at it. I'd not be at all surprised if autocomplete also took into account searches by people in your circles on Google+. The only way to get an unbiased Google search result is to log out, and even then your results will be geographically skewed according to how advertises have paid for results to be ranked. God, working in marketing sucks for making you realise how much we're all manipulated.

Anyway, as I said, I probably was rose-tinting, but I have very distinct memories of Second Toughest In The Infants and In Sides getting absolute rave, 9/10, ***** reviews all across the music press I was reading in 1996, and that's what made me buy it and have my mind blown. And OK, those were 'big' artists in the scheme of things, but they were artists my guitar-loving friends were pretty repulsed by, and it felt really out there to be exploring them. But that was when I was 16/17 and lived in a tiny seaside town in Devon, and now I'm 34 and live in a bigger sort-of-city in Devon and own a lot of jazz...

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 18:53 (twelve years ago)

I put this on twitter a while ago, but I think the most baffling thing about the individual staff top 10s is that most of them are younger than me, but their favourite records are from 20+ years before they were born, in most cases, and that always baffles me. A damn good chunk of mine would be from when I was 15-30, if not 10-22. Older stuff, as much as I might love it, often feels like someone else's favourite music that I just appreciate a lot. Like, I much prefer Four Tet to Kraftwerk, because he's mine, he's my era, I've been able to see him live and enjoy anticipating his records and going and buying them on the day they came out.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 19:01 (twelve years ago)

500. Outkast, 'Stankonia'
499. Belly, 'Star'
498. Lou Reed, 'Berlin'
497. Daft Punk, 'Random Access Memories'
496. Girls, 'Album'
495. The Killers, 'Hot Fuss'
494. The Cure, 'The Head On The Door'
493. This Mortal Coil, 'Blood'
492. These New Puritans, 'Hidden'
491. Pet Shop Boys, 'Actually'
490. MC5, 'Back In The USA
489. The Wedding Present, 'George Best'
488. Leonard Cohen, 'I'm Your Man'
487. The Jam, 'Sound Affects'
486. Bjork, 'Homogenic'
485. Kendrick Lamar, 'Good Kid M.A.A.D City'
484. Bruce Springsteen, 'The River'
483. Elvis Costello And The Attractions, 'Blood And Chocolate'
482. Billie Holiday, 'Lady In Satin'
481. Brian Wilson, 'Smile'
480. Aretha Franklin, 'I Never Loved A Man The Way I Love You'
479. Throwing Muses, 'The Real Ramona'
478. The National, 'Trouble Will Find Me'
477. Crystal Castles, 'Crystal Castles'
476. Foo Fighters, 'Foo Fighters'
475. Kurt Vile, 'Smoke Ring For My Halo'
474. Fuck Buttons, 'Tarot Sport'
473. The Verve, 'A Storm In Heaven'
472. Smashing Pumpkins, 'Melon Collie And The Infinite Sadness'
471. MGMT, 'Oracular Spectacular'
470. Kanye West, 'Graduation'
469. The Beach Boys, 'Holland'
468. The Shins, 'Chutes Too Narrow'
467. Iggy Pop, 'The Idiot'
466. The Wu-Tang Clan, 'The W'
465. The National, 'High Violet'
464. Kings Of Leon - 'Because Of The Times'
463. The Breeders, 'Pod'
462. Metallica, 'Master of Puppets'
461. Manic Street Preachers, 'Generation Terrorists'
460. Nirvana, 'Bleach'
459. Jay-Z, 'The Black Album'
458. Wilco, 'Yankee Hotel Foxtrot'
457. Goldfrapp, 'Black Cherry'
456. Frank Sinatra, 'September Of My Years'
445. Vampire Weekend, 'Vampire Weekend'
454. Destiny's Child, 'The Writing's On The Wall'
453. The House Of Love, 'The House Of Love'
452. The B-52's, 'The B-52's'
451. Big Star, 'Third/Sister Lovers'
450. PJ Harvey, 'Rid Of Me'
449. Arctic Monkeys, 'AM'
448. Suede, 'Sci-Fi Lullabies'
447. David Bowie, 'Diamond Dogs'
446. Hot Chip, 'The Warning'
445. Fleetwood Mac, 'Tusk'
444. Depeche Mode, 'Violator'
443. Bill Callahan, 'Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle'
442. Al Green, 'Al Green Is Love'
441. Abba, 'Arrival'
440. Billy Bragg, 'Life's A Riot With Spy Vs Spy'
439. The Futureheads, 'The Futureheads'
438. Kings Of Leon, 'Aha Shake Heartbreak'
437. TV On The Radio, 'Dear Science'
436. Battles, 'Mirrored'
435. Patti Smith, 'Easter'
434. Prefab Sprout, 'Steve McQueen'
433. Dr. Dre '2001'
432. Tindersticks, 'Tindersticks'
431. Soundgarden, 'Badmotorfinger'
430. Scott Walker, 'Scott 4'
429. Jimmy Eat World, 'Bleed American'
428. Bruce Springsteen, 'Born In The USA'
427. Brian Eno, 'Here Come The Warm Jets'
426. Sonic Youth, 'Goo'
425. Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood, 'Nancy And Lee'
424. U2, 'The Joshua Tree'
423. The Who, 'Live At Leeds'
422. Dexy’s Midnight Runners, 'Too-Rye-Ay'
421. Big Star, 'Radio City'
420. A Tribe Called Quest, 'People’s Instinctive Travels And The Paths Of Rhythm'
419. Spiritualized, 'Let It Come Down'
418. Eels, 'Electro-Shock Blues'
417. Ash, '1977'
416. Animal Collective, 'Merriweather Post Pavilion'
415. Chet Baker, 'Chet Baker Sings'
414. Chemical Brothers, 'Dig Your Own Hole'
413. Happy Mondays, 'Pills ‘N’ Thrills And Bellyaches'
412. DJ Shadow, 'Entroducing'
411. Madvillain, 'Madvillainy'
410. Interpol, 'Antics'
409. Can, 'Tago Mago'
408. Pavement, 'Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain'
407. Ride, 'Going Blank Again'
406. Queens Of The Stone Age, 'Rated R'
405. Otis Redding, 'Otis Blue'
404. Gene Clark, 'No Other'
403. Björk, 'Vespertine'
402. Mystery Jets, 'Twenty One'
401. Throbbing Gristle, '20 Jazz Funk Greats'

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 20:18 (twelve years ago)

I can get with 400-500

― Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 20:31 (twelve years ago)

why?

bcz so token

― ͼѾͽ (sic), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 20:32 (twelve years ago)

481?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 20:50 (twelve years ago)

I suspect metal is going to be less represented in this list than hip-hop.

― Unsettled defender (ithappens), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 20:51 (twelve years ago)

can i just make a quick plea to AG (and everyone) to not c/p the entire top 400, think of our scrolling fingers

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 20:52 (twelve years ago)

I'm forgetting, it probably rated highly 7 years ago, or whenever it was (re 481)

― Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 20:55 (twelve years ago)

lex otm

― how's life, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:00 (twelve years ago)

Sorry lex but i had nowhere to link to as i got the list via imessage

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:01 (twelve years ago)

http://pastebin.com

― zanana rebozo (abanana), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:02 (twelve years ago)

Lots of my favourite albums in the 500-401 section that should be way higher (Tindersticks, Gene Clark, Prefab Sprout, Big Star, Bjork, Scott Walker, The B-52's etc) I think the big problem is their choices from the last ten years. The Futureheads, The Killers, Arctic Monkeys and Kings Of Leon are just the pits. Is that the best they can do? I'm presuming everything Pete Doherty has been involved with will be higher up. Maybe they'll even find some room for Glasvegas?

Also LOL at 417!

― Kitchen Person, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:04 (twelve years ago)

NME Album of the Year 2010 in with a bullet at #492

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:05 (twelve years ago)

Guessing that all the ones in this part of the list only got one or two votes?

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:06 (twelve years ago)

Glasvegas are indeed in there.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:51 (twelve years ago)

ugh

― ۩, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:53 (twelve years ago)

Amazing! Hopefully they're in the top 100 just for the comedy value. Who else? Did they find room for Hard-Fi? Have they remembered what an important band The Cooper Temple Clause were? I'm actually kind of excited to see the rest of the results now.

― Kitchen Person, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:58 (twelve years ago)

Terris?

― ۩, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:01 (twelve years ago)

Get scrolling you bums:

1. The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead (1986)
2. The Beatles - Revolver (1966)
3. David Bowie - Hunky Dory (1972)
4. The Strokes - Is This It (2001)
5. The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground & Nico (1966)
6. Pulp - Different Class (1995)
7. The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses (1989)
8. Pixies - Doolittle (1989)
9. The Beatles - The Beatles (1968)
10. Oasis - Definitely Maybe (1994)

11. Nirvana - Nevermind (1991)
12. Patti Smith - Horses (1975)
13. Arcade Fire - Funeral (2004)
14. David Bowie - Low (1977)
15. PJ Harvey - Let England Shake (2011)
16. Joy Division - Closer (1980)
17. Public Enemy - It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back (1988)
18. My Bloody Valentine - Loveless (1991)
19. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (2006)
20. Radiohead - OK Computer (1997)

21. Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010)
22. Blur - Parklife (1994)
23. David Bowie - The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars (1972)
24. The Rolling Stones - Exile On Main St. Street (1972)
25. Marvin Gaye - What's Going On (1971)
26. The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (1966)
27. Primal Scream - Screamadelica (1991)
28. Amy Winehouse - Back To Black (2006)
29. Television - Marquee Moon (1977)
30. Wu-Tang Clan - Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) (1993)

31. Suede - Dog Man Star (1994)
32. Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique (1989)
33. Blur - Modern Life Is Rubbish (1993)
34. The Beatles - Abbey Road (1969)
35. Nirvana - In Utero (1993)
36. Bob Dylan - Blood On The Tracks (1975)
37. Love - Forever Changes (1967)
38. Sex Pistols - Never Mind The Bollocks... Here's The Sex Pistols (1977)
39. The Clash - London Calling (1979)
40. Joy Division - Unknown Pleasure (1979)

41. Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation (1988)
42. Stevie Wonder - Innervisions (1973)
43. The Beatles - Rubber Soul (1965)
44. Manic Street Preachers - The Holy Bible (1994)
45. Blondie - Parallel Lines (1978)
46. Björk - Debut (1993)
47. The Smiths - Strangeways, Here We Come (1987)
48. Kate Bush - Hounds Of Love (1985)
49. LCD Soundsystem - Sound Of Silver (2007)
50. Dusty Springfield - Dusty In Memphis (1969)

51. Fleetwood Mac - Rumours (1977)
52. The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed (1969)
53. David Bowie - Station To Station (1976)
54. Talking Heads - Remain In Light (1980)
55. The Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers (1971)
56. Neil Young - After The Gold Rush (1970)
57. Kraftwerk - The Man Machine (1978)
58. Pixies - Surfer Rosa (1988)
59. Radiohead - In Rainbows (2007)
60. Massive Attack - Blue Lines (1991)

61. The Clash - The Clash (1977)
62. Bob Dylan - Blonde On Blonde (1966)
63. Joni Mitchell - Blue (1971)
64. Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited (1965)
65. REM - Automatic For The People (1992)
66. Radiohead - The Bends (1995)
67. Oasis - (What's The Story) Morning Glory (1995)
68. Van Morrison - Astral Weeks (1968)
69. REM - Murmur (1983)
70. The Libertines - Up The Bracket (2002)

71. Neil Young - Harvest (1972)
72. Lou Reed - Transformer (1972)
73. Bob Dylan - Bringing It All Back Home (1965)
74. Nas - IIImatic (1994)
75. Green Day - Dookie (1994)
76. Daft Punk - Discovery (2001)
77. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells (2001)
78. Suede - Suede (1993)
79. Miles Davis - Kind Of Blue (1959)
80. Iggy And The Stooges - Raw Power (1973)

81. Kraftwerk - Trans-Europe Express (1977)
82. Carole King - Tapestry (1971)
83. The Band - The Band (1969)
84. Hole - Live Through This (1994)
85. Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run (1975)
86. Jeff Buckley - Grace (1994)
87. The Beatles - Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)
88. Roxy Music - For Your Pleasure (1973)
89. Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill (1998)
90. The Streets - A Grand Don't Come For Free (2004)

91. Prince And The Revolution - Purple Rain (1984)
92. Super Furry Animals - Radiator (1997)
93. Queens Of The Stone Age - Songs For The Deaf (2002)
94. The Rolling Stone - Beggars Banquet (1968)
95. Talk Talk - Spirit Of Eden (1988)
96. Public Enemy - Fear Of A Black Planet (1990)
97. The Smiths - The Smiths (1984)
98. Neutral Milk Hotel - In The Aeroplane Over The Sea (1998)
99. The Libertines - The Libertines (2004)
100. The Smiths - Hatful Of Hollow (1984)

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:02 (twelve years ago)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7a/Auto_Racing_White.svg
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http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7a/Auto_Racing_White.svg
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― what a horribly farmed "cock" (wins), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:05 (twelve years ago)

token canonical jazz pick!

― ۩, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:06 (twelve years ago)

Well Billie Holiday was in the upper 400's too don't forget, keeping good company with the Wedding Present and the Shins.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:09 (twelve years ago)

rofl

― ۩, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:11 (twelve years ago)

Rank the White Albums

― what a horribly farmed "cock" (wins), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:12 (twelve years ago)

Read down to #40 before I fell asleep. "Definitely Maybe" is ranked way TOO LOW.

― Luigi Nono le petit robot, actually, saves Christmas (seandalai), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:14 (twelve years ago)

Both The Libertines albums in the top 100! Pretty annoyed they didn't manage to make room for something by Babyshambles and Dirty Pretty Things too.

― Kitchen Person, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:14 (twelve years ago)

Libertines + Oasis would have made a good top 10. Assuming they have 10 albums between them.

― Luigi Nono le petit robot, actually, saves Christmas (seandalai), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:16 (twelve years ago)

They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?) but yeah it's doable.

Just realised they think My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is the second best rap album of all time! They didn't even have it that high in their 2010 list, think it was just inside the top 30.

On a more positive note, nice to see Spirit of Eden make the list. It's about 80 places too low but still, I was pleasantly surprised to see it there.

― Kitchen Person, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:21 (twelve years ago)

97. The Smiths - The Smiths (1984)
100. The Smiths - Hatful Of Hollow (1984)

Definitely need both of those in the top 100, you really do not want to go freeing up some space for some reggae or something.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:22 (twelve years ago)

if this list prompts even one kid to check out the beatles it'll all be worth it

― what a horribly farmed "cock" (wins), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:26 (twelve years ago)

xp don't you know that reggae is vile?

― I like to think I have learnt a thing or two about music (Neil S), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:29 (twelve years ago)

xpost I've never understood that rule about letting Hatful of Hollow in these lists when most other compilations aren't allowed? Are The Smiths just that special?

No New Order or Pet Shop Boys in the top 100 is pretty surprising. 80s pop in general has been mostly ignored apart from Purple Rain. Lexicon of Love and Dare should obviously be right up there. The last time they did this they had Rio, Thriller and Like a Prayer in there obviously that era is not in vogue now.

― Kitchen Person, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 22:31 (twelve years ago)

The post-2000 albums in the list:

4. The Strokes - Is This It (2001)
13. Arcade Fire - Funeral (2004)
15. PJ Harvey - Let England Shake (2011)
19. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (2006)
21. Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010)
28. Amy Winehouse - Back To Black (2006)
49. LCD Soundsystem - Sound Of Silver (2007)
59. Radiohead - In Rainbows (2007)
70. The Libertines - Up The Bracket (2002)
76. Daft Punk - Discovery (2001)
77. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells (2001)
90. The Streets - A Grand Don't Come For Free (2004)
93. Queens Of The Stone Age - Songs For The Deaf (2002)
99. The Libertines - The Libertines (2004)

― Eyeball Kicks, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 23:00 (twelve years ago)

Im surprised they didn't slip the new arctic monkeys into the top 10 to troll everyone

― ۩, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 23:04 (twelve years ago)

PJ Harvey ahead of Arctic Monkeys is actually rather cool. As a matter of fact, I don't really think that list looks different than what I would expect?

― Frederik B, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 23:16 (twelve years ago)

They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)
They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)
They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)
They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 23:31 (twelve years ago)

PJ Harvey ahead of Arctic Monkeys is actually rather cool.

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 23:31 (twelve years ago)

They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)
They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)
They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)
They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)They'd have to include some Beady Eye (and why not?)

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague)

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/47921000/jpg/_47921692_009291201-1.jpg

― Kitchen Person, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 23:51 (twelve years ago)

top 100 breakdown. i'm counting the band as canadian but ymmv.

usa: 47
uk: 45
canada: 4
kraftwerk: 2
iceland: 1
france: 1

― zanana rebozo (abanana), Thursday, 24 October 2013 00:02 (twelve years ago)

Hatful of Hollow seems to be the only compilation album represented here. I suspect a lot of most people’s top 100 albums would be greatest hits or similar.

When NME polled its writers in 1986 The Queen Is Dead only came ninth; the eight albums above it were as follows:

1. Prince & the Revolution – Parade
2. Anita Baker – Rapture
3. Janet Jackson – Control
4. Sonic Youth – EVOL
5. Cameo – Word Up
6. Paul Simon – Graceland
7. The Fall – Bend Sinister
8. Run-DMC – Raising Hell

I have no problems with any of these.

On a Then Play Long basis only four of the top ten albums (not including TQID) made number one.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 09:24 (twelve years ago)

If you'd told someone at NME in 1994 that Dookie would have made their Top 80 of all time they'd have pissed themselves laughing.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 24 October 2013 09:59 (twelve years ago)

Especially since it came 18th in the NME's '94 EOY list.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 10:20 (twelve years ago)

obviously that era is not in vogue now.

The 80s are very much in vogue with bands but maybe not in canon-building circles.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 10:21 (twelve years ago)

enjoyed this a bunch just now http://thequietus.com/articles/13683-nme-greatest-albums-list-johnny-sharp-cigarettes

― when I was Ted Croker man I couldn't picture this (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 24 October 2013 10:39 (twelve years ago)

Found the rest of the list if anyone's interested:

http://www.acclaimedmusic.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1317#p16748

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 24 October 2013 10:40 (twelve years ago)

Has there ever been a great or even decent music writer called "Johnny"? The NME list was '85 not '86, I don't remember The Nightfly being in it and obviously in "Johnny Cigarettes"' world such a record pales against the majesty of the Senseless Things and Five Thirty.

Have to say, though, that a list without contributions from Kent, Murray, Burchill, Parsons, Baker, Morley, Penman etc. etc. (I bet they all had their price) is not really representative.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 10:46 (twelve years ago)

Paul Morley? Make a list? Nah, couldn't see it myself.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 24 October 2013 10:48 (twelve years ago)

hahah!

VOTING INSTRUCTIONS: "Definable drumbeats are banned - only treble-heavy, off-the-beat, biscuit-tin-rattle indie drums allowed."

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 10:58 (twelve years ago)

Oh yeah, in 1985 wasn’t the 100th slot left empty for readers to write in with their suggestions? I think The Nightfly might have got in there.

That was the same poll wherein it was said that Psychocandy would have been one of the greatest albums ever made had it come out two weeks earlier.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 11:01 (twelve years ago)

1985 list here.

http://www.timepieces.nl/chart/9620/1985-nme-writers-all-time-top-100-albums#.Umj94CROxyg

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 11:02 (twelve years ago)

Ah, it was the Undertones at #100.

The blurb on the same list also described Sgt Pepper as being "an Exocet to the very heart of rock music." That was excellent news.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 11:11 (twelve years ago)

Has there ever been a great or even decent music writer called "Johnny"?

John(ny) Gill, krautock/industrial guy @ Sounds

― Thomas K Amphong (Tom D.), Thursday, 24 October 2013 11:21 (twelve years ago)

Krautrock even... Krautock's just south of Maybole, on the way to Kirkmichael

― Thomas K Amphong (Tom D.), Thursday, 24 October 2013 11:22 (twelve years ago)

I only ever knew him as John Gill, I must say. Is he still around?

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 11:24 (twelve years ago)

Never came across as a "Johnny", that's true. Don't know what happened to him, it was all a very long time ago.

― Thomas K Amphong (Tom D.), Thursday, 24 October 2013 11:25 (twelve years ago)

Think John Gill went to Time Out after Sounds, but that was a v. long time ago, too

― Ward Fowler, Thursday, 24 October 2013 11:34 (twelve years ago)

1985 list here.

http://www.timepieces.nl/chart/9620/1985-nme-writers-all-time-top-100-albums#.Umj94CROxyg

That's a great list!

― Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 24 October 2013 12:22 (twelve years ago)

It is, isn't it? I have no quarrel with almost anything that's on the list - my only question would be: was Mad Not Mad really THAT great?

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 12:46 (twelve years ago)

Wouldn't be my choice of Madness album tbh (Rise & Fall, or maybe Complete Madness, if greatest hits are allowed).

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 12:48 (twelve years ago)

I note soul and R&B are largely represented on the list by compilations (Impressions, Al Green, Jackie Wilson, Temptations, Miracles, JB) so no reason why Complete Madness shouldn’t be counted, although on an album-as-album basis I too would have to go with Rise & Fall.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 13:05 (twelve years ago)

A couple of years ago, I asked for Guardian writers' five favourite - not best - albums ever. Result was so diffuse I couldn't do anything with it. NME list, and Laura's picks, provided an excuse to write something and list all the albums nominated. It's an interesting selection and it's here.

― Unsettled defender (ithappens), Thursday, 24 October 2013 13:38 (twelve years ago)

Mad Not Mad is easily the weakest of the first six Madness albums. Seven and The Rise & Fall are their two classics.

― Kitchen Person, Thursday, 24 October 2013 13:47 (twelve years ago)

I'm not sure if its *easily the weakest - there's nothing on there quite so "closing theme to 70s BBC sitcom" as chunks of One Step Beyond and Absolutely.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 13:49 (twelve years ago)

Some highlights from the full list

Down in Albion higher than Behaviour Off the Wall..you guys.

Glasvegas higher than Surf's Up and This Year's Model.

Parachutes higher than Roxy Music and Ocean Rain.

290. The Bluetones - Expecting to Fly

Four Beck albums in between the 400-301 section was quite surprising. Had no idea he was rated so highly these days.

Genuinely happy to see all three Dexys albums make the list. Searching For the Young Soul Rebels, Dare, The Lexicon of Love and Technique would all be in my top 10, none of them made the top 100 (obviously not in the same league as those Libertines albums) but still nice to see they remembered those albums. Poor Rio!

― Kitchen Person, Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:08 (twelve years ago)

I'm not sure if its *easily the weakest - there's nothing on there quite so "closing theme to 70s BBC sitcom" as chunks of One Step Beyond and Absolutely.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie)

There aren't any songs on Mad Not Mad as good as the highs on those albums though. Apart from Yesterday's Men I can't really remember anything else worthwhile on there and the production is really hard to get through at times.

― Kitchen Person, Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:11 (twelve years ago)

Thought you were having a pop at the Pretty Things there but that would be Parachute, not Parachutes. xpost

― Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:12 (twelve years ago)

xp What's the point in complaining that a paper with a young readership favours some big 00s indie albums over some 60s-80s classics? Obviously the Libertines are a bigger deal than Dexys or ABC to that generation. It's not as if the old guard don't get a look-in, to an often tedious degree.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:14 (twelve years ago)

That's a fair point. I just really really hate The Libertines.

― Kitchen Person, Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:19 (twelve years ago)

It's just that the "new guard," as the NME sees it, is maybe even more tedious. The National? Leon and the Kings? The Killerzzzzzzz?

Yes, I am old.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:21 (twelve years ago)

Mad Not Mad is Madness' The Visitors, hence being picked for its albumness imo

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:22 (twelve years ago)

x post Yeah that's it I suppose. I have no problems with them rating albums from the last ten years so highly but couldn't they have gone for someone more interesting than all these boring indie bands (3 Kings of Leon albums, 3 Pete Doherty, 2 Arctic Monkeys, 2 Coldplay etc) If they were putting Junior Boys, Broadcast or The Knife higher I wouldn't mind at all.

― Kitchen Person, Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:27 (twelve years ago)

xp Oh yeah, my own tastes are closer to Kitchen Person's than they are to NME's but I'm well aware that for a certain cohort that came up in the 00s the Libertines are way more important than Roxy Music and I would find it more depressing if those people cringed and downplayed the music that inspired them in their teens in order to pay homage to canonical albums that were released before they were born.

Oh, what KP just said is pretty much how I feel. Yes to 00s choices on principle, just not those ones.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:31 (twelve years ago)

xps yeah not to be a loyalist or anything but the Guardian "my favourite album" series was a TON more interesting than this: POLL: The Guardian's "My favourite album" series - Guardian and Observer writers pick their favourite albums of all time

― lex pretend, Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:32 (twelve years ago)

I keep wondering, do the people who voted multiple Beatles albums in their Top 10 listen to these albums on a regular basis? I mean, I respect the Beatles and love some of those songs. But those records - I've heard them enough. I pretty much never feel the need to listen to them anymore. But then, my list would be awash with Stevie Wonder records made before I was born, and I still play those records to death.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:35 (twelve years ago)

oh god dude, now we get to read 100 posts from people who play their fucken Beatles albums every day

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:37 (twelve years ago)

Kind Of Blue featuring in all these polls is such total bullshit. Not cos it isn't great, it is, but I remember buying it at 14 or something based, probably, on it being the lazy touchstone for all rock critics, and I liked it well enough, but it's like, he had a whole fucking decade of making rock-influenced music. His most prolific era, some of the greatest albums of all time, he has stuff that's practically metal ffs. It's so clearly tokenism of the worst kind, by people with no genuine understanding of the artist.

I mean, I love Kind Of Blue now, but I dunno, its magic (and it is magic when it begins) only really revealed itself to me wholly as an adult. Not saying that's a universal experience but it does seem like electric Miles stuff would be a better token choice for your rock-loving teen.

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:38 (twelve years ago)

xpost Yeah I don't know. It's probably split between people who genuinely still listen to The Beatles and would rate those albums that highly and people who are maybe voting for albums they think are the most important (to themselves or to music in general) I'm never sure if people go for the albums they still listen to the most or the ones that helped them get into music. This is probably part of the reason these lists are lot of nonsense (as fun as they are to discuss)

― Kitchen Person, Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:41 (twelve years ago)

I still listen to my fucken Beatles albums quite a bit, but then I was alive when some of them were first released.

Bitches Brew does appear lower down in the current NME list, somewhere in the 300s I think.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:42 (twelve years ago)

A couple of years ago, I asked for Guardian writers' five favourite - not best - albums ever.

omg completely forgot this ever happened, had to do a gmail search to remember my nominations (which are probably exactly what you thought they were)

― lex pretend, Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:43 (twelve years ago)

Kind of Blue still outguns Bitches Brew for when people really wanna signify that they're listening to Jazz

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:44 (twelve years ago)

I love how with Dexy's and Roxy Music we're now into a discussion of which generation of white dudes is being unjustly overlooked here.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:46 (twelve years ago)

in the same spirit, sic, and many xps obvs, what parliafunkadelicment album should one pick for their list that isn't "token", if Maggot Brain is "token"? because I don't think John Mulvey's really the type to make tokenistic selections tbh but perhaps you know better.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:46 (twelve years ago)

Agree with Lex that the Guardian feature was a really interesting one. Seeing people pick albums by Magnetic Fields, Bjork, Hidden Cameras, Millie Jackson, Chic and Pet Shop Boys (even Tori Amos) as their favourites was really refreshing to read. Reading the personal stories for their choices was nice to see too.

― Kitchen Person, Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:47 (twelve years ago)

ultimately, this whole thing reminds me how much I hate lists, and making lists, and discussing lists, and how boring it all is when you try and boil individual taste down into something like this. Lists have fucked the music press worse than the internet, mark my words.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:48 (twelve years ago)

a lot of Funkadelic feels pretty accessible to rock fans imo, if i was going down the tokenism wormhole i might argue that the band itself cd be a token Funk pick - but I'M NOT MAKING THAT ARGUMENT

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:48 (twelve years ago)

Lists have fucked the music press worse than the internet

Lists have also fucked the internet more than the music press.

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:49 (twelve years ago)

Top 14 lists to get angry at.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:50 (twelve years ago)

That sounds cool but I don't know what you mean. (xp)

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:51 (twelve years ago)

Listicles!

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:52 (twelve years ago)

maybe it's telling, especially for people who argue that lists make great foundations for discussion and debate, is that nearly every discussion about a list circles round the same few points, cos nearly every list looks the same

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:52 (twelve years ago)

yeah I regretted and recanted the post immediately, but Maggot Brain totally feels like the most "rock" pick from P-Funk canon-ready options

― ͼѾͽ (sic), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:52 (twelve years ago)

It's easy to play gotcha with stuff like this, but Maggot Brain is a pretty great album, so... (My choice would be America Eats Its Young tho)

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:54 (twelve years ago)

ah, gotcha, LG.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:54 (twelve years ago)

maybe it's telling, especially for people who argue that lists make great foundations for discussion and debate, is that nearly every discussion about a list circles round the same few points, cos nearly every list looks the same

otm. mostly the reason lists are bad is cos people with nuanced tastes dislike ranking wildly different pieces of art numerically.

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:56 (twelve years ago)

(even Tori Amos)

EXCUSE YOU

― lex pretend, Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:57 (twelve years ago)

Stevie, could you compile a list feature on the 100 best music lists ever for me?

― Unsettled defender (ithappens), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:58 (twelve years ago)

*VOMITS WITHOUT EVER STOPPING*

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 14:59 (twelve years ago)

Truth is I actually quite enjoy a good listicle, with an interesting angle, penned by a knowledgeable and opinionated writer. But I do honestly believe that a constant procession of "Top 100 Rock Anthems" style list pieces that padded out music mags for much of the 00s are lazy as hell. Gimme a list that exists to provoke, not one that aims for an agreement that The Beatles are as good as its ever gonna get so we might as well give up.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:01 (twelve years ago)

a lot of people like their taste validating. regularly.

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:04 (twelve years ago)

Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:06 (twelve years ago)

Let's all agree to agree (zzzz)

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:09 (twelve years ago)

Yeah actually I might choose Let's Take It To The Stage now I think about it, Better By The Pound is just unimpeachable.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:10 (twelve years ago)

Was shifting piles of magazines round the other day and came across that one copy of the Wire with the 100 Records That Set the World on Fire (While No One Was Listening) list in it. Great feature and an amazing list.

List is here and some nutcase has typed all the blurbs into Discogs too right here.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:11 (twelve years ago)

Scarily, I have 86 of these. Well I was listening anyway.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:15 (twelve years ago)

I really enjoyed all those vanity polls that ppl like emil.y and imago and Eric h were doing recently of their favourite albums/films (or, a bunch of albums/films they thought ppl should seek out). That's the sort of list I like.

― Jesus (wins), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:16 (twelve years ago)

Main gaps are mostly down to dull electronica from 1993, but not Atlantis by X-103 (aka Jeff Mills) which is truly classique.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:19 (twelve years ago)

Ha, I believe it - it is mostly a very Marcello list.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:24 (twelve years ago)

That Wire list was very important to me at the time as a statement of purpose - I think I own just 15 of them but a number of those turned out to be cornerstones of my taste (Sextant, Black Woman, World of Echo, In Greenwich Village, Paris 1919, Faust Tapes, Belle Album).

― Luigi Nono le petit robot, actually, saves Christmas (seandalai), Thursday, 24 October 2013 15:32 (twelve years ago)

388. Tim Buckley, 'Happy Sad' (1969) Elektra. A daring venture into jazz at the beginning of a rich experimental period for the English songwriting icon.

http://www.nme.com/photos/the-500-greatest-albums-of-all-time-400-301/324199/1/1#13

― Position Position, Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:00 (twelve years ago)

Ruh roh

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:01 (twelve years ago)

I guess he wrote songs in English?

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:02 (twelve years ago)

"daring"

"OHMYGOD HE'S VENTURING INTO JAZZ, BE CAREFUL TIM!!"

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:07 (twelve years ago)

"last guy i knew ventured into Jazz two or three years back now, we never heard from him again"

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:07 (twelve years ago)

Now you've got me sucked in.

383. The Long Blondes, 'Someone To Drive You Home' (2006) Rough Trade. Sheffield janglers provide a glossy guitar-pop fantasy alternative to Alex Turner’s grey depiction of life oop t’north.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:10 (twelve years ago)

oop t'north

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:10 (twelve years ago)

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BXVj9QpCIAAAodV.png

― lex pretend, Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:12 (twelve years ago)

There's some Google Translate-style prose going on here.

357. Sugar, 'Copper Blue' (1992) Creation. Husker Du's Bob Mould discovered a post-Nirvana spurt of accessibility and cracked out the breeziest record of the grunge era, making us all dance to the drownings.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:13 (twelve years ago)

Greetings From Luton is my face buckley album

― Jesus (wins), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:14 (twelve years ago)

Talented American MC collection.

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:14 (twelve years ago)

Lmao lex

― Jesus (wins), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:16 (twelve years ago)

330. Portishead, 'Third' (2008) Island. A mesmerising trip-hop adventure, noted for Geoff Barrow’s slick, soulful production.

Love the slick trip hop of Third.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:16 (twelve years ago)

357. Sugar, 'Copper Blue' (1992) Creation. Husker Du's Bob Mould discovered a post-Nirvana spurt of accessibility and cracked out the breeziest record of the grunge era, making us all dance to the drownings.

I don't actually hate that sentence, and it certainly suggests Bob's seminal, without saying it.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:20 (twelve years ago)

301. Arthur Russell, 'World Of Echo' (1986) Rough Trade. Pioneering electronic murmurs that hypnotised NY dance-floors in the mid-’80s and beyond.

^^^ has obviously never heard World of Echo.

― Luigi Nono le petit robot, actually, saves Christmas (seandalai), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:20 (twelve years ago)

We love these records so much we got the work experience to write these blurbs armed with wikipedia and a computer without a sound card.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:20 (twelve years ago)

326. Yo La Tengo, 'I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One' (1997) Matador. Proving themselves masters of jangly indie pop, this eighth album included a cover of Beach Boys’ ‘Little Honda’.

― Luigi Nono le petit robot, actually, saves Christmas (seandalai), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:25 (twelve years ago)

If only my band had covered Beach Boys' "Little Honda", we could have had the 326th greatest album of all time!

― Luigi Nono le petit robot, actually, saves Christmas (seandalai), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:26 (twelve years ago)

I don't want to be a dick about it but I do think if you're going to do a big once-in-a-decade mega-list you should at least edit the entries so that they (a) are grammatical and (b) describe the right record.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:27 (twelve years ago)

357. Sugar, 'Copper Blue' (1992) Creation. Husker Du's Bob Mould discovered a post-Nirvana spurt of accessibility and cracked out the breeziest record of the grunge era, making us all dance to the drownings.

Actually did Whiney write this?

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:30 (twelve years ago)

It’s never been more important to us that you feel you can trust our knowledge and opinions, and the only way we can achieve that is by being credible.

― Jesus (wins), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:32 (twelve years ago)

357. Sugar, 'Copper Blue' (1992) Creation. Husker Du's Bob Mould discovered a post-Nirvana spurt of accessibility and cracked out the breeziest record of the grunge era, making us all dance to the drownings.

I don't actually hate that sentence, and it certainly suggests Bob's seminal, without saying it.

Cracked out a spurt of seminal what now?

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:33 (twelve years ago)

Seminal release

― Jesus (wins), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:34 (twelve years ago)

remind me how much of Mould's pre Copper Blue work was really, really inaccessible?

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:37 (twelve years ago)

Well Copper Blue is way catchier and glossier than early Husker Du. That claim isn't the biggest problem with that review.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:40 (twelve years ago)

dunno, i have more problems with the bizarre characterization of his career path than whether the language is a bit off

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:42 (twelve years ago)

glossier yes, catchier no. warehouse is chockfullahooks.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:43 (twelve years ago)

OK OK, you win, Dü crew.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:45 (twelve years ago)

But anyway, writing like this is unforgivable. It reads like it was mistranslated from the original Thai. I don't understand how anyone thought some of these entries were printable.

498. Lou Reed, 'Berlin' (1973) RCA. Few albums manage to envisage the languish and pain that the artist struggle to express, but ex-Velvet Underground member executes it strikingly. Although Reed isn't a paramount vocalist, his abrasive delivery works wonderfully with the tone of the record.

497. Daft Punk, 'Random Access Memories' (2013) The French duo with their latest electro-dance album claimed huge success, full of undeniably catchy hooks like 'Get Lucky' and dance tunes such as 'Doin' It Right' featuring Panda Bear.

495. The Killers, 'Hot Fuss' (2004) Lizard King/Vertigo. The Las Vegas stadium fillers broke onto the scene with this massively successful debut album. It brought us the indie-essential tracks 'Mr Brightside' and 'Somebody Told me' which remain to be some their best work to date.

494. The Cure, 'The Head On The Door' (1985) Fiction. One of the more accessible albums from The Cure, the alternative band reached a point in the career where their sound was evolving. 'Inbetween Days' shows this awareness of maturing, "Yesterday I got so old, I felt like I could die, yesterday I got so old, it made me want to cry".

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:50 (twelve years ago)

This is more in the style of Ladies Home Journal in 1967.

492. These New Puritans, 'Hidden' (2010) Domino. In the midst of new indie bands of muddled, reverb-happy recordings, These New Puritans have a refreshingly clean-cut sound thats joyous to hear.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:52 (twelve years ago)

We love these records so much we got the work experience to write these blurbs armed with wikipedia and a computer without a sound card.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, October 24, 2013 5:20 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:52 (twelve years ago)

Notably the entires for 500 to 431 have no blurbs in the print mag.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:52 (twelve years ago)

are these actually for real? i'm scared to look

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:54 (twelve years ago)

This clown can't even spell "weird", let alone write a sentence. It's not even lazy boilerplate. It dreams of one day being lazy boilerplate. I know that NME has quite a few good writers so who wrote this stuff?

486. Bjork, 'Homogenic' (1997) One Little Indian Bjork is wierd, but it's an insatiable wierd. Homogenic is a an album of grandiose scale, embracing her iceland roots, and epic orchestral moments that make it such a dramatic listen.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:56 (twelve years ago)

Few albums manage to envisage the languish and pain that the artist struggle to express

I assume that's "anguish and pain", quite like "languish and pain" though

― Thomas K Amphong (Tom D.), Thursday, 24 October 2013 16:58 (twelve years ago)

language?

― Mark G, Thursday, 24 October 2013 17:17 (twelve years ago)

We can't get enough of their no-bars-held guitar smashing rock

No bars held

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 24 October 2013 17:22 (twelve years ago)

lasagne and pain

― Luigi Nono le petit robot, actually, saves Christmas (seandalai), Thursday, 24 October 2013 17:22 (twelve years ago)

While I agree with most xps that it'd be nice to see some more of the likes of Orb, Orbital, Underworld etc. from the last 25 years overall it's a decent 500. I much prefer it, or it feels much more like my record collection, than the Rolling Stone Top 500's from recent years with its lack of multiple Jackson Browne, Tina Turner and Eagles albums.

It probably suffers from unweighted ballots as two #24 votes are worth more than a #1 which leads to pushing albums with lots of medium votes above those with fewer, higher votes. Which is one of the reasons people find the bottom half of these lists more interesting.

It's interesting to see the falling away of some of the darlings of the 1980s who would poll well on here and Pixies, Smiths and so on do better. Also a more sober look at Brit Pop than happened at the time. A lot of the positions on the list like Pulp and Dog Man Star so high feel like opinions and conversations that have been bubbling away for a decade.

With that in mind it feels very much like the NME Canon for the last pre-broadband generation, those that had used the internet before hitting 18 but not broadband. Being post Britpop and pre-Strokes aged 15/6(which includes me) there's a lot of knowledge of records 20 years older than they are driven by the raft of lists like these from the turn of the century. The 1999 Melody Maker all-time list I used as a personal checklist for shopping at Our Price and Virgin for a very long term. I would hope this list would be used in the same way by today's 15 year olds and they will discover GZA, Gene Clark, Sam Cooke and so on from the panels lower down the list in the way I didn't as I had no broadband and no lists like Q Reader's best of 1998 as my gatekeepers which kept the likes of Kraftwerk, Aphex Twin, Neu, Suicide off my radar for longer.

Like the Pitchfork 2000-09 list is skewed 2000-4 this one is too on recent entries, again I put that down to the last gasp of contemporary records really chiming as soundtrack to people's lives before the pre-broadband gush. It is a bit of a shame it is so Libertines, Kasabian, Killers featuring so often rather than your more esoteric acts like The Knife that dominate Pitchfork lists of the same period.

Compilation wise Hatful and The 3 EPs are the de facto "allowed as a studio album" that tend to be included, didn't see the latter but Sci-Fi Lullabies was on it.

Tl;dr

― Mitchell Stirling, Thursday, 24 October 2013 17:27 (twelve years ago)

301. Arthur Russell, 'World Of Echo' (1986) Rough Trade. Pioneering electronic murmurs that hypnotised NY dance-floors in the mid-’80s and beyond.

^^^ has obviously never heard World of Echo.

― Luigi Nono le petit robot, actually, saves Christmas (seandalai), Thursday, October 24, 2013 1:20 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just amazing

― zanana rebozo (abanana), Thursday, 24 October 2013 19:15 (twelve years ago)

xpost "No Bars Held" sounds like the title to some particularly gruesome record by the Tubes.

― Unsettled defender (ithappens), Thursday, 24 October 2013 19:38 (twelve years ago)

World of Echo is the one record in common between this thing and the Wire list. Can't say it does anything much for me though, gimme Loose Joints etc anytime.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Thursday, 24 October 2013 20:24 (twelve years ago)

is the full list anywhere online in a handy easy-to-rattle-through format?

― piscesx, Friday, 25 October 2013 06:34 (twelve years ago)

Page southy.

shall I count the ones I got?

― Mark G, Friday, 25 October 2013 06:42 (twelve years ago)

http://pastebin.com/E9b479Uf

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 25 October 2013 06:55 (twelve years ago)

I keep feeling tempted to compile my own top 500 list, like Kerrang! editor james jam did on twitter the other day, and then thinking 'fuck me that's a lot of effort for no money'.

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Friday, 25 October 2013 07:12 (twelve years ago)

i'm all for a good year-end list to take stock but "of all time" seems incredibly pointless and impossible, like i don't think i even care about my favourite albums of all time particularly

― lex pretend, Friday, 25 October 2013 07:15 (twelve years ago)

I'd just list the 500 albums in my collection id pick up first. I dont keep crap I dont like nor do I tend to buy crap albums based on raving reviews anymore due to being able to preview them in the internet age.

― ۩, Friday, 25 October 2013 07:23 (twelve years ago)

DJ Martian's contributions to this thread are among the funniest things ever to be posted on ILx. And I agree with most of what he says!

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 25 October 2013 08:17 (twelve years ago)

349. Alt-J, 'An Awesome Wave' (2012) Infectious. A worthy Mercury Prize winner, ‘An Awesome Wave’’s minimalist electro-folk defined the dark-'net generation.

What does this mean?

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Friday, 25 October 2013 08:43 (twelve years ago)

346. New Order, 'Low-Life' (1985) Factory. The moment the former Joy Division members left behind their post-punk roots to truly embrace dance.

uh, like no?

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Friday, 25 October 2013 08:44 (twelve years ago)

Um, yeah, kind of rediscovered their post-punk roots on that one

― Thomas K Amphong (Tom D.), Friday, 25 October 2013 08:46 (twelve years ago)

323. Miles Davis, 'Bitches Brew' (1970) Columbia. Rebelling against convention with loose, improvised rhythms, this is the jazz hero at his most punk.

Thank god Miles finally rebelled against jazz's adamant refusal to improvise, he's like the Green Day of bebop.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Friday, 25 October 2013 08:53 (twelve years ago)

Looks like NME work slaves rediscovered the splitting of the infinitive there.

Really, does anyone at that paper seriously think that any of their readers are going to be tempted to listen to any of these records with writing this abysmal?

Why don't they just wave the white flag and say, we can't compete with the internet so let's not even bother?

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 25 October 2013 08:54 (twelve years ago)

Thinking about it they might have been better off rolling this out slowly, over a period of months, and going into each record in more than one sentence, rather than splurging it out in one. Would have sold more copies, almost certainly.

― Matt DC, Friday, 25 October 2013 09:06 (twelve years ago)

If they'd done just ten albums a week, for instance, they could have had this list run the whole year, with the top ten in the Christmas issue. The writing would almost certainly have been better and they absolutely would have sold way more copies in general.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 25 October 2013 09:12 (twelve years ago)

and it would have given people a chance to listen along as it were

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Friday, 25 October 2013 09:16 (twelve years ago)

Bjork is wierd, but it's an insatiable wierd.

I don't know what's worse, that "lol nutty woman being nutty" was deemed adequate commentary or that apparently neither the writer nor the subeditor could spell "weird".

"Star" by Belly was arguably the first album I was obsessed with (certainly the first to be an entirely private obsession not shared by any of my friends), so it was nice to see it squeak in at #499 but now I'm a little scared to read the blurb.

(lol at stevie's all too accurate summary, I didn't mind the Copper Blue blurb despite the babelfishy ending but Third, World of Echo, YLT in proper "here's what someone down the student union bar told me about a band I've never heard" territory)

― the supreme personality of Godhead : a summary study (a passing spacecadet), Friday, 25 October 2013 09:23 (twelve years ago)

That would have been a great idea marcello

― ۩, Friday, 25 October 2013 09:25 (twelve years ago)

OK I was also pleased to see Stankonia in at 500 until I read the blurb, which starts:
"500. Outkast, 'Stankonia' (2000) LaFace Records. Canadian electro producer Grimes comments ''I really enjoyed Outkast as a kid, I don't know why."

So much for thinking that someone at the NME chose it, or that they could find a less "will this do?" quote.

Not sure I can bear to click through 500 ad-laden pages just to wince at the prose, so if anyone else can please continue to paste the worst bits here.

― the supreme personality of Godhead : a summary study (a passing spacecadet), Friday, 25 October 2013 09:29 (twelve years ago)

It does look like it was outsourced to a data mining company tasked with looking at other references to the artists on the website and compiling a semi-randomised blurb based on the results.

I thought they might be culled from reader reviews on the NME website (not sure if that's still a thing) but the readers in question shouldn't have got them so wrong. It's difficult to believe that a work experience kid would make so many odd mistakes.

― Ramnaresh Samhain (ShariVari), Friday, 25 October 2013 09:35 (twelve years ago)

Huh. That's actually quite plausible. Ugh.

(And the kind of thing which sounds like an interesting computational challenge until you remember that the only uses for it are to be an evil SEO pagerank-cheat or to make actual online content from publications who should know better that much shittier)

― the supreme personality of Godhead : a summary study (a passing spacecadet), Friday, 25 October 2013 09:44 (twelve years ago)

that outkast blurb is literal dogshit

― Defund Phil Collins (stevie), Friday, 25 October 2013 09:45 (twelve years ago)

a work experience kid working to a really tight deadline tho

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Friday, 25 October 2013 09:45 (twelve years ago)

and by kid i mean 14 year-old who only listens to music on video games

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Friday, 25 October 2013 09:46 (twelve years ago)

Googlism for: outkast stankonia

outkast stankonia is another type of 'classic' that is hard to appreciate when you have no idea what to expect

― Mark G, Friday, 25 October 2013 09:49 (twelve years ago)

Googlism for: miles davis bitches brew

miles davis bitches brew is beautifully produced and a reminder of the furore that greeted it on its release
miles davis bitches brew is back
miles davis bitches brew is now here · comments
miles davis bitches brew is amazing

― Mark G, Friday, 25 October 2013 09:51 (twelve years ago)

Googlism for: the smiths the queen is dead


Sorry, Google doesn't know the smiths the queen is dead

― Mark G, Friday, 25 October 2013 09:51 (twelve years ago)

Googlism for: ilx

ilx is traded on the american stock exchange
ilx is not read back
ilx is taken except ilx
ilx is moving
ilx is the preferred system of the most demanding professionals on wall street
ilx is not responsible for
ilx is to determine the best such translation given the overall goals of ilx
ilx is an experimental implementation of a set of extensions to ms
ilx is to determine the "best" such translation given the overall goals of ilx
ilx is preparing a big move into las vegas
ilx is on the move
ilx is the collective name for ilm and ile
ilx is not far away
ilx is approximately $2
ilx is a mailing list
ilx is a gated community from which i have wilfully locked myself out
ilx is almost never available
ilx is in a good position to take advantage of the increasingly desperate demand for high
ilx is a provider of real

― ۩, Friday, 25 October 2013 09:59 (twelve years ago)

ilx is a gated community from which i have wilfully locked myself out

Wave!

― Mark G, Friday, 25 October 2013 10:01 (twelve years ago)

lol I just googled it to find out who said it

― ۩, Friday, 25 October 2013 10:05 (twelve years ago)

ilx is a provider of real

damn right it is

― Luigi Nono le petit robot, actually, saves Christmas (seandalai), Friday, 25 October 2013 10:24 (twelve years ago)

"(I'm sure if I knew the minutiae of the relationship that scarred her so deeply on 'Rid Of Me', it wouldn't have brandished me in quite the same way)"

'Brandish' means 'wave or flourish', right?

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 25 October 2013 10:27 (twelve years ago)

Not at the NME it doesn't

― Thomas K Amphong (Tom D.), Friday, 25 October 2013 10:28 (twelve years ago)

That's from this, btw - http://www.nme.com/blogs/nme-blogs/after-morrissey-the-rock-autobiographies-that-would-be-amazing

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 25 October 2013 10:29 (twelve years ago)

I think she meant to say "branded."

Lucy Jones is possibly the worst music writer in the history of music writing, except for everybody else on that page.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 25 October 2013 10:44 (twelve years ago)

A good judgement of the quality of a music writer is what they say about "Revolution 9." On the NME list it was "Lennon went TOO FAR." Lord amucks! Send for Mary Whitehouse! Give him a good spanking! That Lennon - he was very SAUCY

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 25 October 2013 11:03 (twelve years ago)

Revolution 9 = Amelodics

― Thomas K Amphong (Tom D.), Friday, 25 October 2013 11:04 (twelve years ago)

yeah, they're confusing it with the "Two Virgins" album...

(nr, obv)

― Mark G, Friday, 25 October 2013 11:04 (twelve years ago)

Next bunch of blurbs (200-300) is a lot better in as much as they're written in English and there aren't too many obvious factual clangers. Bit disheartening though to see the Bluetones album one place above Younger Than Yesterday.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Friday, 25 October 2013 11:22 (twelve years ago)

lol amazing

― I like to think I have learnt a thing or two about music (Neil S), Friday, 25 October 2013 11:29 (twelve years ago)

nah i can understand young people not liking the jaded old-fashioned trad rock stylings of the Byrds as much as the ahhh forget it

― increasingly desperate demand for high (Noodle Vague), Friday, 25 October 2013 11:53 (twelve years ago)

216. New Order, 'Power, Corruption And Lies' (1983) Factory. In the wake of 'Blue Monday', New Order cranked up the synths and lit up the nervous system of the monster we call 'dance'.

I think I'd probably argue with that if I knew what it meant.

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Friday, 25 October 2013 12:16 (twelve years ago)

the monster we call 'dance'

― I like to think I have learnt a thing or two about music (Neil S), Friday, 25 October 2013 12:21 (twelve years ago)

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01484/PF-dance_1484184c.jpg

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Friday, 25 October 2013 12:23 (twelve years ago)

LOL

― Thomas K Amphong (Tom D.), Friday, 25 October 2013 12:59 (twelve years ago)

That's pretty much what they said about "Low Life", i.e. the first 'dance' album..

― Mark G, Friday, 25 October 2013 13:05 (twelve years ago)

Rock critics' desperate need to credit New Order for inventing dance music is almost as annoying as referring to everything in terms of punk to bestow importance.

― Matt DC, Friday, 25 October 2013 13:17 (twelve years ago)

yes.

(I did mean "Their first dance album", but what you said still stands true)

― Mark G, Friday, 25 October 2013 13:19 (twelve years ago)

I'm waiting for the big canonical piece putting Blue Monday in the rich lineage of the Euro Summer Novelty hit.

― Unsettled defender (ithappens), Friday, 25 October 2013 14:50 (twelve years ago)

That sounds like an awesome April 1st commission right there.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 25 October 2013 14:51 (twelve years ago)

Do you know, I'm really very sorely tempted to get something done on it.

― Unsettled defender (ithappens), Friday, 25 October 2013 14:56 (twelve years ago)

synth tone v. similar to "The Birdie Song" now i think about it

― increasingly desperate demand for high (Noodle Vague), Friday, 25 October 2013 14:57 (twelve years ago)

Other big Euro hit of summer '83 was "Dolce Vita" by Ryan Paris. The 12" break is anticipatory of House music.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:16 (twelve years ago)

I've never bought this shitsheet in my life so excuse my ignorance but I am actually a bit surprised that nu-nme is riding for like the national killers of Leon &c, not that I'd expect them to be putting the knife on the cover or anything but I guess I assumed eg disclosure et al would be where they're at now?

― Jesus (wins), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:17 (twelve years ago)

think the audience for reading about what music is the best ever probably skews classic rock, whatever people are listening to at any one time

― increasingly desperate demand for high (Noodle Vague), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:34 (twelve years ago)

Dolce Vita is a FUCKING BANGER!!!!!!!!!

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:39 (twelve years ago)

Just reading through the list on the NME site. Think they really nailed this one.

224. Echo And The Bunnymen, 'Heaven Up Here' (1981) Korova. Like Joy Division's 'Closer' if the drugs worked, the Bunnymen's second album was steeped in doomy grandeur but kept one cheek in the sunlight.

Also really like how much effort they put into this one, some detailed research here.

226. The Doors, 'The Doors' (1967) Elektra. 'Light My Fire'. 'The End'. 'Break On Through (To The Other Side)'. Psychedelic blues got no better.

― Kitchen Person, Friday, 25 October 2013 15:44 (twelve years ago)

Chillwave? Daft Punk?

214. Air, 'Moon Safari' (1998) Virgin. Chillwave? Daft Punk? 21st Century robo disco? The source is here, in 'Sexy Boy' and 'Kelly Watch The Stars' from the fresh princes of Versailles' celebrated debut.

― Kitchen Person, Friday, 25 October 2013 15:46 (twelve years ago)

xp the question is, which arsecheek remained in sunlight?

― I like to think I have learnt a thing or two about music (Neil S), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:48 (twelve years ago)

xpost Yes, Dolce Vita 12" was on one of the Disco Discharge comps, and I was staggered by how great it was.

― Unsettled defender (ithappens), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:48 (twelve years ago)

On reflection, I probably agree with about 10% of what DJ Martian has to say on this thread.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:48 (twelve years ago)

looool

― increasingly desperate demand for high (Noodle Vague), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:49 (twelve years ago)

xpost I can see chillwave in Air. Presume Daft Punk comes from them being French, and nothing much else.

― Unsettled defender (ithappens), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:49 (twelve years ago)

not fair. French, dance-y, two of them.

― increasingly desperate demand for high (Noodle Vague), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:50 (twelve years ago)

No really, they only had Moroder on that RAM track cos the guy who played the tuba on Moon Safari was way too busy

― gotta lol geir (NickB), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:53 (twelve years ago)

LOL

― Jesus (wins), Friday, 25 October 2013 15:57 (twelve years ago)

Wait that Air blurb suggests they were the "source" for Daft Punk? I know there's nothing to gain from trying to read sense into these but...

― snoop dogey doge (seandalai), Friday, 25 October 2013 16:06 (twelve years ago)

I've never bought this shitsheet in my life so excuse my ignorance but I am actually a bit surprised that nu-nme is riding for like the national killers of Leon &c, not that I'd expect them to be putting the knife on the cover or anything but I guess I assumed eg disclosure et al would be where they're at now?

They should really be eviscerating the music of the last decade by now.

― Matt DC, Friday, 25 October 2013 16:13 (twelve years ago)

I'm looking at the full list and I really didn't expect to see the second Whitney Houston album in there at 348.

― Matt DC, Saturday, 26 October 2013 14:12 (twelve years ago)

My mum bought that

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Sunday, 27 October 2013 16:09 (twelve years ago)

http://www.nme.com/images/NMECoverArcade_CMA3_291013.jpg

― ۩, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 11:35 (twelve years ago)

FROM THE VAULT : KEITH RICHARDS 1978
35 years since Rolling Stone Keith Richards was charged with possession of 22 grams of heroin, we revisit NME’s in-depth reporting of the case
Read more at http://www.nme.com/magazine/issue/inside-arcade-fires-hypnotic-new-album#TCtr4fJkGz6JPKLB.99

― ۩, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 11:38 (twelve years ago)

oh that's sweet, they've let the work experience kid do the cover design this week

― http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVzmecHQ4TM (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 30 October 2013 11:40 (twelve years ago)

they forgot the Sir

― ۩, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 11:42 (twelve years ago)

does the Arcades Fires do that to their hair deliberately?

― http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVzmecHQ4TM (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 30 October 2013 11:47 (twelve years ago)

new entry at number 1 with Arcade Fire

― PaulTMA, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 12:12 (twelve years ago)

Gets my vote

― Thomas K Amphong (Tom D.), Wednesday, 30 October 2013 13:36 (twelve years ago)

It looks a bit that Radiohead cover Q did when Kid A came out. I can't seem to find any pictures of that, though.

― kirti madam you're not a gag mrs thatcher eighty advantage and myspace (soref), Wednesday, 30 October 2013 13:39 (twelve years ago)

I like the Arcade Fire cover tbh.

― kirti madam you're not a gag mrs thatcher eighty advantage and myspace (soref), Wednesday, 30 October 2013 13:39 (twelve years ago)

So, that's the Lou Reed memorial edition then?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:23 (twelve years ago)

if they had waited a fortnight they coulda had VU at #1 in their alltime list

― ۩, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:27 (twelve years ago)

OK, that is you, innit?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:28 (twelve years ago)

Hands up if you don't know the exact content of that Bradley Wiggins feature before even opening the magazine.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:47 (twelve years ago)

SIR

― ۩, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:48 (twelve years ago)

Dadley Wiggins

― Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:48 (twelve years ago)

Well, uh..

― Mark G, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:48 (twelve years ago)

Sir Modley

― ۩, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:50 (twelve years ago)

Heck of an echo goin on...

― Mark G, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:53 (twelve years ago)

what is weird about arcade fire?

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 17:07 (twelve years ago)

For the NME they are the Suicide to Coldplay's VU

― PaulTMA, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 17:31 (twelve years ago)

Context is everything

― Evan, Wednesday, 30 October 2013 19:10 (twelve years ago)

I had a quick flick-through this weeks, there are 'only' two large pages on Lou Reed.

I assume that next weeks will be a larger, more fulsome affair.

― Mark G, Thursday, 31 October 2013 09:17 (twelve years ago)

Right, I don't know if this is new, but..

On the website, there is "100 best songs of the 60s"

Number 100 is "Send me a postcard" by Shocking Blue.

Could this list actually be interesting? Hmmm.....

― Mark G, Monday, 4 November 2013 10:51 (twelve years ago)

http://www.nme.com/images/NMELouReedCoverCMA3-091113.jpg

The 'larger, more fulsome affair'..

A long interview by Lester Bangs, the sort of thing people would write in and say "the writer spent three-quarters of it writing about himself", but of course, they won't now : It's Lester Bangs!

.. and an enlarged version of his last interview alongside Mick Rock, about a photo-book.

― Mark G, Thursday, 7 November 2013 14:56 (twelve years ago)

according to the front page of this week's Kerrang! there is a Lou tribute inside, courtesy of one of My Chemical Romance who isn't the singer. I thought this was very sweet given that there's no real reason why they should note his passing at all

― too much Michu, not enough meta (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 7 November 2013 15:27 (twelve years ago)

Juxtaposing Lester Bangs and Mark Beaumont like that is the least flattering comparison ever.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 7 November 2013 15:32 (twelve years ago)

two months pass...

0__o

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/1604449_10152556551359167_525277165_n.jpg

― piscesx, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 13:20 (twelve years ago)

tbf, if nme is fully committed to being a nostalgia magazine now, I'd me more interested in reading about several of the artists on that cover than the nme's usual fare of stone roses/oasis/sex pistols etc

― soref, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 13:28 (twelve years ago)

I can only assume the reggae-pop explosion of 93 and 94 is well documented inside

― Master of Treacle, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 16:36 (twelve years ago)

nu metal of course started in 94 with the 1st Korn album and Kerrang calling it "Nu-Metal" because metal was old fashioned and wouldnt sell and was really really bad and they had to make up a genre that would help sell magazines.

― ۩, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 16:39 (twelve years ago)

amazing how knackered Brett looks. maybe i'm mistaken but you'd never see a relatively big star Indie rock name look so blates wasted on a cover these days.

― piscesx, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 16:40 (twelve years ago)

Were the NME big on post rock in 1994? Seems more Melody Maker

― Master of Treacle, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 16:44 (twelve years ago)

NME briefly flirted with post-rock in 1999 (Mogwai's Blur t-shirt, GYBE! on the cover), I don't recall it being much of a feature before then - though I'd stopped reading regularly by 1994 so idk maybe it was a thing.

― good day to you, (onimo), Tuesday, 28 January 2014 16:48 (twelve years ago)

i dont remember it being so

― ۩, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 16:53 (twelve years ago)

Select was quite big on it from around that big Tortoise album - Salaryman, Labradford, Ui etc

Can't remember a big push from NME's direction before this

― Master of Treacle, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 17:29 (twelve years ago)

'94 was the year I started reading the music press and I think quote-unquote post-rock bands would have got some coverage in NME even if that descriptor wasn't in their lexicon yet. MM was definitely a bigger booster of that kind of thing yeah

― wilful brony (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 28 January 2014 18:31 (twelve years ago)

To be fair that top ten albums list is pretty damn good. Top two are overrated, but ymmv.

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 28 January 2014 18:34 (twelve years ago)

94 was the last good year of nme lists probably. It still had decent stuff in the top 10 til the end of the 90s (unless you hate spz/mercury rev)

― ۩, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 18:36 (twelve years ago)

but i was always a melody maker guy until they gave catatonia album of the year in 96?

― ۩, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 18:36 (twelve years ago)

http://www.rocklistmusic.co.uk/mmpage.html

http://www.rocklistmusic.co.uk/nmeindex.html

― ۩, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 18:37 (twelve years ago)

98 it was

― ۩, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 18:38 (twelve years ago)

Attention, there has been another important list from the NME!

http://www.nme.com/photos/the-500-greatest-songs-of-all-time-500-401/330541/1/1

http://www.nme.com/news/nirvana/75297

― Kitchen Person, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 16:23 (twelve years ago)

I love to hate a list as much as the next guy but no way I'm clicking 500 links to see 500 items.

jan.hansen.9693 said 3 hours ago
"Imagine" - John Lennon at only number 476 !!!! Just after "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley at 475 !!!! Then I stopped reading !! This is a joke !!!

nathan.king.777
nathan.king.777 said 2 hours ago
Salt-N-Pepa 'Push It' #466, John Lennon 'Imagine' #476..........What the actual f#@k?????

george.pap13
george.pap13 said 44 minutes ago
Imagine no476, above it shitty hip hop no fucking way

Above us only shitty hip hop.

― I am a 'music' fan. Revolutionary, isn't it? (onimo), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 16:32 (twelve years ago)

i imagine working at buzzfeed provides more job satisfaction and pride than working at nme these days

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 16:34 (twelve years ago)

The Top Five in NME's list of the greatest songs of all time is:

5: 'Last Nite', The Strokes
4: 'How Soon Is Now?', The Smiths
3: 'I Feel Love', Donna Summer
2: 'Love Will Tear Us Apart', Joy Division
1: 'Smells Like Teen Spirit', Nirvana

okay

― Watain Coyne (NickB), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 16:40 (twelve years ago)

valuable, original and much-needed top 5 for 2014

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 16:43 (twelve years ago)

They've only uploaded 500-401 so far. Blur, Arctic Monkeys, Coldplay, Bowie, Nirvana, Primal Scream, R.E.M and The Jam have all had more than one song place already.

The only decent surprises in that first section have been the appearances of Patio Song by Gorkys Zygotic Mynci, Shame Shame Shame by Shirley & Company, Across 110th Street by Bobby Womack and Overload by Sugababes (or just Sugababe as they've called them) Apart from those it's just the usual suspects. No Libertines yet but they've got to fill that top 100 somehow.

― Kitchen Person, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 16:49 (twelve years ago)

i imagine working at buzzfeed provides more job satisfaction and pride than working at nme these days

current buzzfeed uk editor is ex nme online bod iirc

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 16:59 (twelve years ago)

To be fair that top ten albums list is pretty damn good. Top two are overrated, but ymmv.

was in the mood just to dis nme, but had the same reaction

― ad music for ad people (Hunt3r), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 17:09 (twelve years ago)

lol onimo

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 17:17 (twelve years ago)

above it shitty hip hop no fucking way

― UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 18:15 (twelve years ago)

imagine

― Mark G, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:12 (twelve years ago)

was very surprised by the Bobby Womack choice yeah.

last time they did this (greatest singles of all time) was 2002. top 10 was

1. Joy Division - 'Love Will Tear Us Apart'
2. Nirvana - 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'
3. The Sex Pistols - 'Anarchy In The UK'
4. The Rolling Stones - 'Paint It, Black'
5. David Bowie - ''Heroes''
6. The Stone Roses - 'Fools Gold'
7. The Smiths - 'This Charming Man'
8. Oasis - 'Live Forever'
9. Massive Attack - 'Unfinished Sympathy'
10. The Clash - 'London Calling'

― piscesx, Thursday, 6 February 2014 01:52 (twelve years ago)

oh this is songs not singles my bad.

― piscesx, Thursday, 6 February 2014 01:58 (twelve years ago)

That 2002 list: so many of those choices are really challenging, weird and new in their original context, but so boring in this context

― cardamon, Thursday, 6 February 2014 02:09 (twelve years ago)

493. Sugababe – 'Overload' (2000, London). Many's the harried hack songwriter has tried to capture the pain and thrill of young womanhood; they all ring hollow next to this innocent-but-sexy, slinkily irresistible hookfest of a track.

What a sentence!

― cardamon, Thursday, 6 February 2014 02:12 (twelve years ago)

You should check out the Best Albums Ever thing they did last year. Some of the writing in that makes what you just posted read like Joan Didion.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 10:09 (twelve years ago)

Man, maybe I should start writing, because I sure as hell know I can do a better job than that already.

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 10:23 (twelve years ago)

Oh no, you’re on a hiding to nothing if you do that, unless you have a day job. I don’t think that good writers are being sought out at the moment; editors would rather have “bratty 20yr olds who take the piss out of everything” mainly because they’re cheaper and provide handy yelpy clickbait. Which is all that people seem to want these days.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 6 February 2014 10:43 (twelve years ago)

I've no problem with bratty young writers, or "hip young gunslingers" as they were once known, taking the piss. It's been part of the fabric of music writing since before I was buying music.

― I am a 'music' fan. Revolutionary, isn't it? (onimo), Thursday, 6 February 2014 10:53 (twelve years ago)

It works about as well as that other long outmoded model, the “adversarial” Westminster Parliamentary system.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:00 (twelve years ago)

It depends who they are and how they write. Age isn't the issue. A 20-year-old wouldn't have stuck me as a bratty young writer when I was 15 and devouring three music papers a week.

Not that I have a dog in this fight, I got old and stopped reading.

― I am a 'music' fan. Revolutionary, isn't it? (onimo), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:09 (twelve years ago)

The problem isn't whether or not a writer is bratty. It's whether or not they can write well. Dull, inept writing is far more common (though less annoying) than snarky gobshites.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:16 (twelve years ago)

bratty young writers who are good = classic
bratty young writers who are also dull and inept = cringe

― lex pretend, Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:17 (twelve years ago)

like, brattiness by-the-numbers is like...what even is the point of being bratty and obnoxious if you're saying things we've heard before again & again & again

― lex pretend, Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:18 (twelve years ago)

Morley and Penman were on the NME by the time they were 20 (so were Burchill and Baker) and they had a lot more to offer than the recycled PR blether with hyuk-hyuk lolz sauce on the side you tend to see these days. I find it immensely dull and inept, wherever I find it.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:18 (twelve years ago)

Marcello, as someone born in 1990 I - obviously - wasn't around for Morley et al. I read read every issue of NME between 2002-2006 but couldn't pinpoint a single WOW! article in that batch from memory...what was it about the paper at that time that allowed Morley/Penman to write the kind of stuff they did? Why has that changed now? Aside from advertising/internet attention spans etc.

I can't think of a single place to pitch longform, considered music writing to in the UK, maybe outside of the Quietus. Someone please please tell me if I'm wrong.

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:25 (twelve years ago)

and don't suggest noisey/thump because the noisey editor went psycho on me and now im banned from contacting either place ever again.

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:26 (twelve years ago)

Rest assured, I wasn’t going to recommend the noisy/thump option.

The only reasonable answer I can find to your question is that in the seventies publishers hadn’t quite worked out what was what, so if a magazine was ticking over well enough in terms of circulation and/or reputation it could more or less do what it liked. Because, I suspect, editors at that time tended to throw anything at the wall to see what would stick, greater chances could be taken and there were greater opportunities to be had.

You could say that Q Magazine etc. in the mid-eighties onward did for long-form thinkpiece-type writing but that doesn’t explain the incredible creativity at work in, say, Melody Maker from the mid-80s to the mid-90s. But then IPC gets bought out by multinationals, the internet starts muscling in, and it all ends up becoming about demographics; giving its readers, and "more importantly," its advertisers, what they think they want.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:41 (twelve years ago)

I don't mind young writers having a small degree of "attitude" in their writing style, but over the last couple of years I've been reading "pieces" in places like NME Online and I've often come away with the feeling that the writer is just being snarky for the sake of it, without offering anything else in terms of substance regarding what it is they're writing about. By that, I mean that there's room for a degree of "edge" within a thoughtful, balanced and factually accurate critical piece, but what I feel some of these writers are offering is all snark and not a lot else. I just come away from reading some of these "pieces" feeling that they've been designed to get a negative reaction out of whoever reads them. It's a shame, because when music writing is at its best, it can be insightful and informative and make you look something from an angle you've never considered before.

I don't want to sound like a kiss-ass here, but one of my favourite examples of music criticism in recent years has to be Dorian Lynskey's review for Embryonic by The Flaming Lips as published in Q Magazine. To cut a long story short, DL found the album didn't do an awful lot for him and gave the album two stars. However, I still ended up buying the album anyway on the strength of the review. Why? Because even though DL didn't really rate the album very highly and gave his reasons for doing so, the way he described the album in his review made me think "fair enough, he concedes that the album isn't for him but the album still sounds like something that I'd very much like to hear and may even love". If he'd went the "online journo" route and wrote something that basically read as "this is complete bollocks", without giving much of a reason behind his critical stance or taking the time to describe the albums content, I probably wouldn't have checked the album out.

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:45 (twelve years ago)

I think you’re right in your first paragraph; the stuff they write, or are told to write, is essentially clickbait, posted to gain the greatest number of hits possible, with no real underlying wisdom or insight (which you got from Burchill and Parsons back in the day, even at their snarliest and punkiest; you had the feeling they were fighting for something else, maybe something better – who knows?).

As far as your second paragraph is concerned; well, that’s how I try to structure Then Play Long when I come to an album that I know I don’t like – because it is the easiest thing in the world to say “this is complete bollocks, who are these morons who bought this crap?” and the hardest thing in the world to be less than complimentary or even enthusiastic about these records, but to try one’s best to listen hard and find out what was in these records, in this music, which attracted so many people, so that readers might be tempted to give them a chance even if I don’t.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:54 (twelve years ago)

Another thing that bewilders me when reading stuff on places like NME Online is when I stumble across factual inaccuracies, especially when reading about older releases. I don't hold anything against young writers being unable to fully understand the context surrounding a release that is older than they are, but some of them don't even seem to try to get as close to understanding the context as they possibly can. In the era of Google and the internet, researching a topic has never been easier, so when I do stumble across inaccuracies in a piece I generally get the impression that the writer is lazy, can't be bothered and has very little passion for what they're writing about. That's my opinion, of course, but that's how I feel about it.

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:58 (twelve years ago)

I’d agree with that.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:01 (twelve years ago)

I think you’re right in your first paragraph; the stuff they write, or are told to write, is essentially clickbait, posted to gain the greatest number of hits possible, with no real underlying wisdom or insight (which you got from Burchill and Parsons back in the day, even at their snarliest and punkiest; you had the feeling they were fighting for something else, maybe something better – who knows?).

Yes, exactly! This is exactly what I was getting at!

As far as your second paragraph is concerned; well, that’s how I try to structure Then Play Long when I come to an album that I know I don’t like – because it is the easiest thing in the world to say “this is complete bollocks, who are these morons who bought this crap?” and the hardest thing in the world to be less than complimentary or even enthusiastic about these records, but to try one’s best to listen hard and find out what was in these records, in this music, which attracted so many people, so that readers might be tempted to give them a chance even if I don’t.

Absolutely, I completely agree. In that instance, writing something like "this is complete bollocks, who are the morons who bought this crap?" would be such an incredible cop out to me. You're right, it is the easiest thing in the world to do and it smacks of not only not trying, but also not wanting to try. I have far more respect for a critic who has put themselves through the mill trying to find something, anything to latch onto that they could single out for praise. For me, it shows they've given the work a fair listen and made an attempt to understand the release. It also shows they take their role as a critic seriously.

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:14 (twelve years ago)

Marcello, with all the respect possible and again, without wanting to sound like an incredible kiss-ass, I have read several of your Then Play Long retrospectives and enjoyed them a great deal. What I like about your retrospectives is that you naturally understand the context surrounding the releases, and actually try to put this across in writing so that it gives younger readers like myself a reasonable idea of what kind of climate those albums were released into. Also, I love the effort you put into research of every release in an effort to understand the point of view of the artist when he/she/they were making those records; whether it be the influences of the artist or even events that could have been an inspiration to the artists' work. It's far more interesting to me to read that kind of writing, because I often find it enables me to view a work from an angle I'd never considered before.

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:23 (twelve years ago)

Sir, you understand the point of the work I'm doing, and I take my hat off to you.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:28 (twelve years ago)

The next few years are going to be very interesting for me, given that the NME are doing retrospectives on 1994 now. Chances are, there'll be at least one or two writers for the NME that were born that year, and it's going to be interesting to see how they write about albums that came out in their year of birth. If truth be told, regarding that particular publication, I expect the writing to be very superficial and occasionally at odds with how I remember it.

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:31 (twelve years ago)

Thanks Turrican. That's good to hear.

What worries me about new writers is that they're not getting any editorial guidance as far as I can tell. I can point to one or two editors when I was starting out who kicked several bad habits out of me and when I read a lot of publications with young writers I don't sense anyone taking on that role. I see writers who have flair and passion but they're hampered either by cliches or a misguided idea of what constitutes provocative writing (outside music this is known as Charlie Brooker Wannabe Syndrome), so they're not getting any better. I wish someone would take them aside and go OK, this stuff is great but those bits are naff and jejune and you need to grow out of them quick. If you see errors or sloppy thinking on, say, NME.com then it's a failure of editorial guidance.

Of course, some writers are strong enough to get it right without help from editors and some are hopeless and should do something else but the ones in the middle feel like a wasted resource.

Agree with Turrican that what's admirable about TPL is the amount of work that obviously goes into each entry - it's never lazy received wisdom.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:34 (twelve years ago)

The best editor - aka the harshest - I've worked with so far has been Kev at V**e, mainly because he's so thorough and really, really makes you work hard at your 'jokes'.

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:44 (twelve years ago)

My guess would be that NME was bringing in A LOT more money in the Penman era and that IPC would have been pretty happy to let it carry on doing its thing with minimal interference, but at this stage in its decline no editor is going to go "you know what will turn things around, more Ian Penman-esque thinkpieces". The rot set in in the 90s really and the horse has long bolted by now.

NME's big failing over the last 12 years or so hasn't been failing to live up to its 80s pomp, or to early 90s MM, but that's, in writing terms, it's failed to even keep pace with Pitchfork, despite that publication's obvious success.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:45 (twelve years ago)

Matt DC otm.

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:46 (twelve years ago)

If I can go back briefly to my point about the seeming lack of outlets, really, outside of the vice network, the quietus, maybe nme, the guardian (michael hann never got back to me tho)...where is there? If I'm not looking hard enough please chastise me.

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:46 (twelve years ago)

xp It does ok in terms on clicks, though, doesn't it? It's pretty much a rolling news site but a fairly successful one, i think.

― Ramnaresh Samhain (ShariVari), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:48 (twelve years ago)

DY, if you can't find any decent outlets out there, maybe you should start your own?

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:53 (twelve years ago)

Yeah Matt's spot-on. There's zero likelihood of Morley/Penman-style essays returning to NME, or even much of a readership for them beyond the kind of people itt, but there's no reason why they shouldn't be nailing the simple business of reviews and interviews.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:57 (twelve years ago)

Should point out that I'm not bemoaning any of those I've mentioned!

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:58 (twelve years ago)

Which is not to say that there aren't any good writers there. There are, but the quality control is very wobbly and falls to pieces when you get to the lower reaches of these big lists they've been doing. Some of the writing in the Best Albums list was genuinely shocking.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 13:02 (twelve years ago)

I can point to one or two editors when I was starting out who kicked several bad habits out of me and when I read a lot of publications with young writers I don't sense anyone taking on that role.

Interesting! What kind of things did you used to clash with your editors over, if you don't mind me asking?

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 13:05 (twelve years ago)

Its very hard to say anything, let alone say anything decently, with the tiny wordcounts the writers have for those lower-reaches entries, is I think a large part of the problem. Like that Sugababes entry above, there's a glimmer of an interesting angle or idea in there, but to say it in a sentence? Impossible.

I try and maintain a "Hate the playa, not the game" attitude here. Am sure I wrote some shocking stuff when I was at NME, but I know I always wanted to be writing better. With two notable exceptions (Mulv and Kitty), though, there was little interest on the part of the editorial team to offer help and advice really.

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 13:05 (twelve years ago)

hahahaha i mean 'Hate the game not the playa' obvs

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 13:06 (twelve years ago)

a lot of the photos in that countdown on their website don't even match the songs. i mean if they can't even get that right then.. sheesh.

― piscesx, Thursday, 6 February 2014 13:07 (twelve years ago)

no effort to link to any audio/youtube either, their online presentation is very half-arsed at times

― Watain Coyne (NickB), Thursday, 6 February 2014 13:11 (twelve years ago)

So many music sites have that half-arsed approach. If you're going to do a huge list make some playlists, get the right pictures, embed some videos, provide links to buy the records, add links to background reading.

― I am a 'music' fan. Revolutionary, isn't it? (onimo), Thursday, 6 February 2014 13:19 (twelve years ago)

xp iirc it was mostly to do with avoiding cliches and phrases that only music journalists use, eg "sophomore release". Also, corny last lines, which have become a pet hate of mine. I'm still grateful. Not that I'm never guilty of bad habits but to have good editors keep me in line early on was invaluable. Even now that every writer gets feedback via comment threads, it's never the kind of pinpoint critique you get from an editor.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 13:27 (twelve years ago)

Me and my other half spent a good hour last night in the pub with this NME list in the print edition and we were astonished at how bad it was. I think you can say interesting things about a song in an economy of language, but it didn't feel like there was any effort to in a lot of the entries, just lots of context-setting and vague efforts to say "this is fun."

The longer entries were even worse though. I couldn't believe the write-up for "Wonderwall", which claimed it wasn't the best Oasis song (despite being their top entry in the list) and it wasn't even the best version of the song (Ryan Adams!) but they had included it for its cultural significance.

― boxedjoy, Thursday, 6 February 2014 14:38 (twelve years ago)

iirc it was mostly to do with avoiding cliches and phrases that only music journalists use, eg "sophomore release".

Ha! It's weird that you should say that in particular, because I really loathe the term "sophomore release" for some reason. Don't get me wrong, I understand how and why that particular term originated, and I couldn't really fault an American music journalist using the term, but I keep seeing the term time and again in reviews by young British kids and I'm thinking "why are you using that term?"

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's a ridiculous term or attempting in any way to be 'anti-American' (I'm not); it's more that, if one works for a British publication, surely the largest portion of the audience would be British, and I wouldn't really expect the "average" Brit to know much about American high school terminology. I could easily imagine a fair amount of Brits looking at the term and thinking "what's a sophomore?"

I'm guessing that there's a fair few young British journalists who have seen the phrase crop up in a Pitchfork review, or a US-based music blog and thought "ah, so that's what the pro critics call a second album"

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 16:13 (twelve years ago)

the appeal of 'sophomore album' lies in finding a new way of saying 'second album' when you've used that phrase already several times in a piece. but yeah, it's lame.

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 16:26 (twelve years ago)

eh you're probably not wrong but I've been seeing it in UK-based music writing for longer than Pitchfork or blogs have existed. the reason it thrives is probably less craven Ameriphilia and more because there aren't that many synonyms for 'second'

― wilful brony (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 6 February 2014 16:27 (twelve years ago)

xp obv :D

― wilful brony (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 6 February 2014 16:28 (twelve years ago)

great minds... fools seldom...

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 16:30 (twelve years ago)

eh you're probably not wrong but I've been seeing it in UK-based music writing for longer than Pitchfork or blogs have existed. the reason it thrives is probably less craven Ameriphilia and more because there aren't that many synonyms for 'second'

― wilful brony (DJ Mencap), Thursday, February 6, 2014 4:27 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Surely there's a fair few ways of getting around this, though? Like, instead of directly referring to it as the "second album", mention it as being "the follow-up to their debut", or "one album on from their debut"... I mean, of course it depends on the artist/album/context etc.

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 16:46 (twelve years ago)

graduated from debutsville

― Watain Coyne (NickB), Thursday, 6 February 2014 16:47 (twelve years ago)

yeah, but the key is, 'sophomore album' is only two words, and thus infinitely preferable to "the follow-up to their debut" when dealing with the tyranny of the word count and making text fit on to the page. in fact, i prefer sophomore to "the follow-up to their debut", which is hella clunky.

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 16:51 (twelve years ago)

I agree, it is clunky! But I wasn't saying use those exact words, more that referring to the album in relation to their debut could possibly be a way of getting around directly referring to it as a "second album". I had thought that word-count might be problematic, but I suppose it depends what you do with the rest of the words, right? What is the average word count for a printed album review? I mean, for both "event" releases and smaller releases?

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:04 (twelve years ago)

Never understood why people give a shit about "sophomore album". No one is trying to be pretentious with it. It's not a cliché, it's purely functional

― lex pretend, Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:07 (twelve years ago)

Word count is ALWAYS problematic

― lex pretend, Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:08 (twelve years ago)

At MOJO, its 140 for a downpager, 450 for a boxout, 1000 or thereabouts for a lead. And especially at the lower-end of the spectrum, every single word counts.

xp agreed lex. i find people's issues with it to be more pretentious, tbh.

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:08 (twelve years ago)

Cue those of my editors who read this thread going YES WE KNOW ;_;

Xp

― lex pretend, Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:09 (twelve years ago)

Don't get me wrong folks, I'll be the first person to admit that I don't know how professional music journalism actually works, hence why I'm asking so many questions about it! All I really know is what I'd personally like to read and what I don't.

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:24 (twelve years ago)

I appreciate being able to explain the process, tbh!

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:26 (twelve years ago)

One of the best things I learned was that it's often better to use the simplest terms than naff synonyms, in the same way that in interviews "says" is often better than "ponders", "avers", etc. "Second album" is better than "sophomore album", "guitarist" is better than "axeman", "guitar-wrangler", "fretboard wizard", etc. Worry about making the rest of the writing interesting, not jazzing up functional phrases that work just fine.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:26 (twelve years ago)

It is not so terrible to say sophomore, in itself, but so many reviews I see are composed entirely from the kinds of phrases DL mentions that I suspect they've been written using music journalism fridge magnets.

― Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:30 (twelve years ago)

xp "mused fretboard frotter Simmons"

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:30 (twelve years ago)

xp When I have my subbing cap on, many's the time I've wanted to take a writer aside and say, 'Okay, what you've submitted looks like music criticism, but is actually a nonsensical jumble of cliches - what do you actually MEAN?'

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:32 (twelve years ago)

I dont understand why you're having a discussion about music writing and journalism on an NME thread.

― ۩, Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:33 (twelve years ago)

http://news.3yen.com/wp-content/images/WAKA-WAKA-FONZIE.jpg

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:36 (twelve years ago)

Every article, whether about music or not, should contain the phrase "fretboard wizard" imo.

― pariah newsletter (seandalai), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:40 (twelve years ago)

So the trick is not bombard the reader with garbage and keep the framework of the piece simple in order to draw attention to what you actually have to say, while keeping within the limits of the word count?

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:41 (twelve years ago)


"One of the best things I learned was that it's often better to use the simplest terms than naff synonyms, in the same way that in interviews "says" is often better than "ponders", "avers", etc. "Second album" is better than "sophomore album", "guitarist" is better than "axeman", "guitar-wrangler", "fretboard wizard", etc. Worry about making the rest of the writing interesting, not jazzing up functional phrases that work just fine."

this.

― mark e, Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:42 (twelve years ago)

Every article, whether about music or not, should contain the phrase "fretboard wizard" imo.

― pariah newsletter (seandalai), Thursday, February 6, 2014 5:40 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Haha... it's fair to say I laughed out loud when I read "fretboard wizard". It's as if The Who re-wrote one of their classic tracks to be about Steve Vai.

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:43 (twelve years ago)

"That fretboard wizards got such a supple wrist!" *widdlywiddlywiddlywiddly*

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:44 (twelve years ago)

See also: "sticksman" for drummer and "beatmeister" for dance producer.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:47 (twelve years ago)

So the trick is not bombard the reader with garbage and keep the framework of the piece simple in order to draw attention to what you actually have to say, while keeping within the limits of the word count?

and also to have some fun, obvs. i mean, i think those rules apply to all kinds of writing, to be honest.

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:47 (twelve years ago)

it depends upon the title, of course. metal mags were traditionally a little more pulpy than yer broadsheet or NME, and could fling about 'sticksman' without embarrassment.

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:48 (twelve years ago)

iirc Stuart Maconie had a good bit about the 70s cliche "keyboard merchant" (Rick Wakeman et al) making him think of someone with a market stall shouting "Get yer keyboards! Lovely keyboards!"

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:49 (twelve years ago)

Given how often Wakeman's been bankrupt, I can actually imagine that being true.

― the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:50 (twelve years ago)

I don't want to turn this into DL's writing seminar but one thing I'd tell any young writers is: don't fret about the language too much. Just have a theory and express it clearly. It amazes me how many write-ups about classic albums contain no ideas beyond received wisdom. I don't need to be told that The White Album is "sprawling" or Maxinquaye was a "seminal trip hop album". Listen again and find something new to say.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:53 (twelve years ago)

Important thread: tunesmithery

― pariah newsletter (seandalai), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:54 (twelve years ago)

"Tunestrel" is unforgivable imo

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 6 February 2014 17:57 (twelve years ago)

Just have a theory and express it clearly. It amazes me how many write-ups about classic albums contain no ideas beyond received wisdom. I don't need to be told that The White Album is "sprawling" or Maxinquaye was a "seminal trip hop album". Listen again and find something new to say.

Absolutely! I guess this goes back to what I was saying earlier regarding what I enjoyed about Marcello's TPL articles, and how I'm not really expecting all that much from NME's retrospectives.

Anyhow, I've gleaned plenty of insightful tips from this thread today, so thanks everyone!

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 6 February 2014 20:06 (twelve years ago)

Use of the word 'seminal' just automatically equates to "I have no original opinion about this" to me.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 6 February 2014 20:11 (twelve years ago)

"I jizzed listening to this"

― (D1CK$) (sic), Thursday, 6 February 2014 21:31 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theguardian.com/media/2014/feb/13/nme-sales-falling-off-charts-music-magazine-circulation

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 13 February 2014 20:39 (twelve years ago)

http://fuckyouneilkulkarni.blogspot.com.au/2014/02/my-pompoms-are-too-droopy-some-thoughts.html?spref=tw

Williams, and everyone else at the NME, have to play a delicate balancing act between their own avowed poptimist eclecticism and the reactionary, snob nature of many of their indie-rock readership. Turner's speech, as Williams knew, was the ideal chance to shore up the NME's constituency, make sure they were in the tent pissing out. For all Williams' rather pointless ass-covering about Turner's speech not being about 'genre-elitism' a whole load of rights-for-whites-rocknrollers were in no doubt. In the FB thread we got pearls like "Without a doubt the most sensible thing Williams has written since taking over. Turners speech was inspired and necessary. Now the NME need to act. Stop writing about RnB and Hip Hop, it's dull and tedious. Indie/Alternative music is where the NME is strongest. Promote it, embrace it." Every NME thread has variants of this. The english-rock defence league.

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 10:12 (twelve years ago)

That's true about certain readers and the NME's balancing act but the rest depends on assuming that Turner meant what the dim rockists think and not what Williams thinks. Judging anything by what the worst commenters think is disingenuous imo. (Although I do think Williams overstates his case too - "a call too arms"? Not really.)

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 10:40 (twelve years ago)

But then this is a man whose end of year list was 14,000 words about all the singles he hates.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 10:57 (twelve years ago)

lol @ 'a call to arms' featuring the line 'and there's nothing you can do about it'. Yeah man, I'm wid it just give me a gun and point me at the enemy.

― UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:00 (twelve years ago)

Afaik Alex Turner has never delivered a call to arms in his life so I doubt he's decided to start now. He has, however, delivered many sarcastic deadpan acceptance speeches.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:04 (twelve years ago)

"no i thought i'd just shit in my pyjamas instead"

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:09 (twelve years ago)

oh wait, deadpan

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:09 (twelve years ago)

Surely Mumford & Sons are "Britain's biggest band"? Arctic Monkeys haven't actually sold all that many records, right? They're nowhere near 96 Oasis, right?

Williams' piece feels like desperate brand-alignment by NME, to me, one last push to associate themselves with the spirit of rock n roll while the carcass isn't even steaming anymore.

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:21 (twelve years ago)

Sales are broadly similar in UK terms - both hit 5 x platinum with first albums, but M&S sales in US are ten times higher than AM's.

― heritage punk act (onimo), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:29 (twelve years ago)

Surely Little Mix are Britain's biggest band

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:33 (twelve years ago)

sorry forgot 1D existed

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:35 (twelve years ago)

good job Olly Murs isn't a band or that line wd be even ronger

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:36 (twelve years ago)

god how many clowns bought that Pastille rekkid?

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:38 (twelve years ago)

they might be irrelevant now but it's probably the rolling stones right?

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:44 (twelve years ago)

or iron maiden

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:44 (twelve years ago)

Nolans ftw

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:45 (twelve years ago)

wait are they irish?

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:45 (twelve years ago)

tbh, list of bands bigger than the Arctic Monkeys wd be a long list

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:46 (twelve years ago)

Gallon Drunk

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:46 (twelve years ago)

Red Lorry Yellow Lorry

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:46 (twelve years ago)

from ireland via blackpool iirc xps

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:46 (twelve years ago)

Kursal Massive

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:48 (twelve years ago)

God 1D. Of course. Fucking enormo-massive.

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:50 (twelve years ago)

Last Stones album sold 100k in UK, last Arctic Monkeys has already sold five times that.

Again, US sales make the Stones bigger.

― heritage punk act (onimo), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 11:53 (twelve years ago)

The Meteors, they was good

― we sold our Solsta for Rock'n'Roll (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 12:07 (twelve years ago)

I think its fair to say arctic monkeys are pretty huge in the UK . They straddle the indie nme/kerrang market + crossed over to pop kids like my cousins 17 yo and friends who usually listen to Rihanna.

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 12:21 (twelve years ago)

The Very Things

― the immortal jellyfish will never die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 12:22 (twelve years ago)

Have you just broken into the cupboard in our back bedroom or something?

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 12:43 (twelve years ago)

Even in this discussion Coldplay can't get any credit, despite surely outstripping everyone except possible 1D in sales terms.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 13:00 (twelve years ago)

Coldplay hugely outstrip everyone including 1D with something like 60 million album sales worldwide. They're just so forgettable.

― heritage punk act (onimo), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 13:13 (twelve years ago)

Ha! Despite the fact that Chris Martin's from Exeter (and my dad worked for his dad etc etc etc) and their first album is so British I kind of think of them as being a global / American / sans nationality thing these days.

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 13:54 (twelve years ago)

Because they've got so little character.

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 13:54 (twelve years ago)

I think its fair to say arctic monkeys are pretty huge in the UK . They straddle the indie nme/kerrang market + crossed over to pop kids like my cousins 17 yo and friends who usually listen to Rihanna.

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, February 25, 2014 12:21 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I still find them quite easy to ignore, though. It's not like '96 Oasis where they were literally fucking everywhere!

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 13:55 (twelve years ago)

I think we have now safely established that Arctic Monkeys are not "the UK's biggest band".

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 13:56 (twelve years ago)

South Yorks' biggest band maybe?

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 13:57 (twelve years ago)

Neepsend's biggest band.

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 14:01 (twelve years ago)

Gotta be

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 14:03 (twelve years ago)

top three at least

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 14:03 (twelve years ago)

Which is why NME editor's desperate reaching for quantitative justification is so dumb; he's bowing to neo-liberal understanding of justification; "we write about Arctic Monkeys because they're the most massive and significant (they're not the most massive or significant)"; he needs SO BADLY to justify his magazine, to align it with something, that he's grasping. Go counter-culture! Go underground! Go alternative! Define yourself by being special, not by being big. I blame Oasis. They broke how we understand success.

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 14:04 (twelve years ago)

"neo-liberal understanding of justification"? I'm sure the phrase "biggest band in x" existed before both Oasis and neo-liberalism.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 14:21 (twelve years ago)

the thing is, the williams thing was just really bad copywriting, but if you were any good at copywriting you'd be earning £££s doing it for a corporation, not filling pages in the NME.

― you are clinically deaf and should sell you iPod (stevie), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 14:24 (twelve years ago)

"neo-liberal understanding of justification"? I'm sure the phrase "biggest band in x" existed before both Oasis and neo-liberalism.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, February 25, 2014 3:21 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Well yes, 'bigger than Jesus' etc etc, bit NME's 'brand' 'value' seems confused as to whether it's about alternative rebel spirit or being massive; the two sometimes align (Nirvana? perhaps Oasis very early on) but generally they don't. Why not talk about Arctic Monkeys being the 'best' band in the world? Because you can't quantify it. So lie about them being the biggest. (False claims as lies.)

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 14:28 (twelve years ago)

Best band in the world is used in alternate weeks iirc

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:03 (twelve years ago)

Why are we even still ~talking~ about the Arctic Monkeys? Alex Turner has such a bad haircut and I don't even want to shag *any* of his band.

― Bipolar Sumner (Branwell Bell), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:03 (twelve years ago)

i wd like to thank Mr Kulkarni for the Ted Bovis gag if nothing else

― the immortal jellyfish will never die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:04 (twelve years ago)

surely we're long overdue another go at Rockabilly

― the immortal jellyfish will never die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:05 (twelve years ago)

wasnt there a daily mail feature on the rockabillys in the usa living in some town where everything in their houses are from the 50s?

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:31 (twelve years ago)

worlds first AMish community

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:37 (twelve years ago)

There's an amazing punchline at the end of that Kulkarni rant where he... vows never to read the NME again.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:39 (twelve years ago)

he's a rockabilly rebel

― the immortal jellyfish will never die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:40 (twelve years ago)

nme coverpic on facebook
http://i.imgur.com/q18n8Mb.png

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:47 (twelve years ago)

lol
http://i.imgur.com/jQuk2GO.jpg

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:54 (twelve years ago)

oh no

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:55 (twelve years ago)

well that fulfils the thread title tbh

― you are clinically deaf and should sell you iPod (stevie), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:56 (twelve years ago)

RU ONSIDE

wasnt he an old blues guy?

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:57 (twelve years ago)

O R U snide?

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:57 (twelve years ago)

a ass pocket full of wacky

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:58 (twelve years ago)

YOU ARE THE REF

― the immortal jellyfish will never die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:58 (twelve years ago)

RL Turnerside

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 15:59 (twelve years ago)

he's just got to keep a-rockin', everywhere he goes

― the immortal jellyfish will never die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:00 (twelve years ago)

Fuck me.

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:06 (twelve years ago)

ROCK ROLL NEEDS YOU

N

― Gavin, Leeds, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:09 (twelve years ago)

when the hell did k d lang get so aggressive?

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:14 (twelve years ago)

alfred otm

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:18 (twelve years ago)

http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/alvin-stardust.jpg

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:23 (twelve years ago)

Good spot.

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:24 (twelve years ago)

I like that the "N" is in scare quotes; like they're somehow sceptical of the "and" connecting "rock" to "roll." "Yeah, the man wants you to think it's rock 'and' roll, maybe it's rock *or* roll, did you ever think of that?"

― voyou, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:26 (twelve years ago)

http://fashiongrunge.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/rolling-stone-cover-volume-905-9-19-2002-the-vines.jpg

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:26 (twelve years ago)

Bound, gagged and loving it. The people who pay to be kidnapped. Is that what is happening in that Vines picture?

― Kitchen Person, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:30 (twelve years ago)

Hey NME lets go for a little walk..
http://i.imgur.com/4l2yDpL.jpg

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:34 (twelve years ago)

I like that the "N" is in scare quotes; like they're somehow sceptical of the "and" connecting "rock" to "roll." "Yeah, the man wants you to think it's rock 'and' roll, maybe it's rock *or* roll, did you ever think of that?"

― voyou, Tuesday, February 25, 2014 4:26 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ummmm... To be fair, that's how "rock'n'roll" is generally stylised, isn't it?

― doglato dozzy (dog latin), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:45 (twelve years ago)

the n in rock'n'roll is supposed to have two apostrophes, whereas as voyou says the n on that cover is in quote marks

― Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:48 (twelve years ago)

omg I just noticed the quote from Henry V

― soref, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:48 (twelve years ago)

rickroll needs you

seriously it's a classic web 2.0 prank and it sucks people forgot about it

― imago bantz and the deems context (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:48 (twelve years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx5lHXr1lmw

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:49 (twelve years ago)

That rock n roll eh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MCTGXnNKks

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:51 (twelve years ago)

dear god i had such a crush on Rita Ray

― the immortal jellyfish will never die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:52 (twelve years ago)

the n in rock'n'roll is supposed to have two apostrophes, whereas as voyou says the n on that cover is in quote marks

― Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, February 25, 2014 4:48 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wait... are we talking at the same cover? Those are 's not "s ?

― doglato dozzy (dog latin), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:53 (twelve years ago)

can't we go back to laughing at Alex Turner please

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:55 (twelve years ago)

no, they are "'"'s

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:55 (twelve years ago)

you can have single quote marks

it's just shitty typesetting

xp

― my father will guide me up the stairs to bed (anagram), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:56 (twelve years ago)

"first rule of Indie, Spike, you must have reality"

― the immortal jellyfish will never die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:56 (twelve years ago)

there should be a whole thread for posting youtubes of 70s/early 80s rock 'n' roll homage pop

― soref, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 16:59 (twelve years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLC2P8WR-g8

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 17:03 (twelve years ago)

do it!

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 17:05 (twelve years ago)

50s homage songs from the 70s/80s

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 17:07 (twelve years ago)

http://ring.cdandlp.com/kroun2/photo_grande/114865231.jpg

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 17:14 (twelve years ago)

http://i58.tinypic.com/e8l7bb.jpg

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 20:09 (twelve years ago)

you managed to get paul shane's head in proportion to the hand better than nme did with turner

― soref, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 20:18 (twelve years ago)

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6015/5955103043_7b4be1a9ea_o.jpg

― painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture (DavidM), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 20:24 (twelve years ago)

oh it wasnt me. I cribbed it from fb

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 20:28 (twelve years ago)

the wikipedia article on Hi-de-Hi! claims that Ted Bovis was born in November 1936 literally one sentence before saying he joined Maplins upon demobilisation in 1945.

― soref, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 20:35 (twelve years ago)

the show was set in summer 1959, making Ted Bovis 22 years old

― soref, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 20:38 (twelve years ago)

What's going on with Brian Setzer's nose in that photo?

― Vast Halo, Tuesday, 25 February 2014 20:41 (twelve years ago)

It was Ted Bovis that made Hi-de-Hi watchable. A likeable crook.

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 21:03 (twelve years ago)

Nick B who is the "Peggy" of indie?

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 23:07 (twelve years ago)

david gedge

― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Tuesday, 25 February 2014 23:25 (twelve years ago)

oh my god, lolololololololol forever at this cover

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 12:41 (twelve years ago)

So did anyone read it in a supermarket yet?

― Scooby Doom (۩), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 12:41 (twelve years ago)

"everyone's still talking about it" might be the most offensive thing about the cover. no one is still talking about that stupid acceptance speech!

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 12:42 (twelve years ago)

what speech?

― Scooby Doom (۩), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 12:43 (twelve years ago)

I for one am offended by a music magazine's front cover being a bit stupid

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 12:44 (twelve years ago)

i thought TV Choice magazine was very disingenuous as to the shocking nature of Ronnie's confession to Roxy this week too

― i'm a subject; you're a object (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 12:48 (twelve years ago)

If Rock "N" Roll makes people get haircuts like that, then I am Against Rock "N" Roll.

― Bipolar Sumner (Branwell Bell), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 13:27 (twelve years ago)

The best bits of all these covers are the lines beneath the photo/headline

'...so what are YOU doing?', 'everyone's talking about it'

deluded NME at it's worst

― Master of Treacle, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 15:56 (twelve years ago)

it's not delusion if you're just saying stuff to vibe with yr target audience

― The Buzzing of Summer Tweets (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:00 (twelve years ago)

and a lot of people ARE talking about it.

― piscesx, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:25 (twelve years ago)

lol no, gonna need receipts for that. it certainly hasn't cropped up on my twitter feed or any articles i've noticed since the morning after

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:28 (twelve years ago)

wait, so someone who professes complete uninterest in the NME and all the bands they feature hasn't heard anything about this?

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:32 (twelve years ago)

The only reason people are still talking about this is because the NME is still drawing it out, in previous years a vaguely sarcastic acceptance speech would barely even have been noted.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:33 (twelve years ago)

All it really illustrates is the NME's desperation to wring some sort of agenda out of this.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:33 (twelve years ago)

Making a Thing out of not very much is what music papers do. I remember they once tried to convince us we gave a shit about S*M*A*S*H or that people from Menswear and Blur both occasionally drank in the same pub.

― every time you sneer at "white boys with guitars" a Ramone dies (onimo), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:36 (twelve years ago)

Making a Thing out of not very much is what music papers do.

well it shouldn't be!!!

mdc otm

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:37 (twelve years ago)

music magazines should stick to reporting the facts, just like Smash Hits used to

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:38 (twelve years ago)

matt dc otm

― Scooby Doom (۩), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:40 (twelve years ago)

look what happened to smash hits

― Scooby Doom (۩), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:40 (twelve years ago)

smash hits is the one magazine I thought would last the longest.

― Scooby Doom (۩), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:41 (twelve years ago)

sarcasm aside, I think NME are entitled to try and wring an agenda out of this if they want, and we're entitled to laugh at them for trying. And I think that NV is right, all they're doing is trying to appeal to their core audience and bolster their sales which isn't necessarily a bad thing, whatever any of us might think about that agenda or the quality of the music they are championing.

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:43 (twelve years ago)

and of course whether that appeal is doomed (as I think is probably the case, FWIW), time will tell.

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 16:43 (twelve years ago)

Making a Thing out of not very much is what music papers do.

This is exactly what NME/MM/Select did in the early-mid 90s when they were selling truckloads, and what Kerrang! does now. It's about stoking a conversation within a reader community. I don't have a clue who most of the people in Kerrang-world are, let alone what they're up to but it's not for me. It's no dafter than a hip hop magazine hyping a beef that is only relevant to hip hop fans or a dance mag trying to push a new genre.

Which is not to say that this particular cover isn't horrible and embarrassing.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 17:07 (twelve years ago)

Yeah I don't have a problem with it either, just pointing out that it's nothing new.

SHROOM. Remember SHROOM? After 40 years of kids taking psychedelics and listening to music a new thing started where kids were taking psychedelics and listening to music

― every time you sneer at "white boys with guitars" a Ramone dies (onimo), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 17:12 (twelve years ago)

Skunk-rock RIP

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 17:15 (twelve years ago)

Googling around just now I found this contender for the crown.

http://static.nme.com/images/gallery/NMECoverCMA3040910.jpg

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 17:17 (twelve years ago)

Sex God. Dance King. Total Nutjob.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 17:17 (twelve years ago)

who the actual fuck is darwin deez?? not even kidding i have never heard that name before

once again, this is why i hated the music press growing up!

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 17:21 (twelve years ago)

It's quite sobering reading old music magazines in the British Library and realising how many of the people in the new artists slots were never heard of again. That's showbusiness.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 17:22 (twelve years ago)

you sort of wonder whether they continued to make worthwhile music that just wasn't in fashion, or whether they were always destined to only have a handful of good songs in which case...idk, this is one of the weird things about pop music journalism, when some of the best examples of the form are made by people you KNOW don't deserve to be talked of in long-term terms, but at the same time you can't actually acknowledge that

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 17:25 (twelve years ago)

Darwin Deez is an American indie band from New York City signed to music label Lucky Number. The group's frontman Darwin Deez attended Wesleyan University and previously was a guitarist for the Creaky Boards and a rapper.

― every time you sneer at "white boys with guitars" a Ramone dies (onimo), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 17:43 (twelve years ago)

oh, that Darwin Deez

― The Buzzing of Summer Tweets (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 17:57 (twelve years ago)

Was he in Deez Nuts?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 18:07 (twelve years ago)

i say i say i say, my wife has just been watching the test match with a hot new guitar band from nyc

― eardrum buzz aldrin (NickB), Wednesday, 26 February 2014 19:45 (twelve years ago)

So Arctic Monkeys won the same awards last night from NME as they did last week at the Brits. Brand differentiation in action!

― the drummer is a monster (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 27 February 2014 07:52 (twelve years ago)

Deez Nuts is from Sydney, Mark, don't you know ANYTHING

― I got the Poison, I got the Rammellzee (sic), Thursday, 27 February 2014 08:17 (twelve years ago)

one cannot be in Deez Nuts, quite the contrary

― The Buzzing of Summer Tweets (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 27 February 2014 08:56 (twelve years ago)

you don't understand, Deez Nuts is etc. etc.

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Thursday, 27 February 2014 09:26 (twelve years ago)

true fact: dee snuts was the original name of the singer from twisted sister until he got it changed by deed poll

― eardrum buzz aldrin (NickB), Thursday, 27 February 2014 09:35 (twelve years ago)

dee d'poll

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Thursday, 27 February 2014 09:39 (twelve years ago)

Eddie Deed-Poll Tudor

christ I think I need a lie down

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Thursday, 27 February 2014 09:39 (twelve years ago)

Why is Debbie Harry's head relegated to the bottom of the cover?
http://i.imgur.com/kKNSeqN.jpg

― Scooby Doom (۩), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 14:07 (twelve years ago)

because she's not shit

― jamiesummerz, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 14:16 (twelve years ago)

the league of extraordinary haircuts

― soref, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 14:16 (twelve years ago)

what a fucking mess.

i hate the font for 'awards/special'

and yes, they clearly had their line re 'gentlemen' all set up and so debbie had to be sidetracked.

not good.

― mark e, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 14:18 (twelve years ago)

debbie's nme awards haircut was significantly more extraordinary than damon's , if they'd used my headline she could have been up there.
the picture kind of looks like damon is auditioning for the league of extraordinary haircuts and is about to be turned down.

― soref, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 14:23 (twelve years ago)

her heads just there like a football for the 4 dudes

― Scooby Doom (۩), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 15:40 (twelve years ago)

Alex Turner has said that his Brit Awards speech was his attempt at teaching people about the importance of rock music.

http://www.nme.com/news/arctic-monkeys/75872

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 15:42 (twelve years ago)

its really really pathetic. Why would any girls buy NME? It's pretty obviously seen as a guys mag now and Kerrang is for girls. I remember when both appealed to boys and girls.

― Scooby Doom (۩), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 15:42 (twelve years ago)

that image cuts of the bottom of the cover, the actual cover doesn't actually have debbie harry's disembodied head floating along the bottom, not to disagree with your more general point.

― soref, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 15:56 (twelve years ago)

One of the people in that picture is an innovator, a songwriter and a conqueror... and it ain't Albarn, Cooper Clarke, Turner or Harry.

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 16:03 (twelve years ago)

xp

still looks like an afterthought!

― Scooby Doom (۩), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 16:05 (twelve years ago)

Oh, I just clicked it's not the latest new indie band with members prematurely aged.

iow, that elbow bloke is 40. Like, it's only just happened omg.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 18:50 (twelve years ago)

this one is just a mess. It's like a bad cover of the old Look-In magazine

http://i.imgur.com/UT9X4jK.jpg

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 11 March 2014 23:06 (twelve years ago)

I don't know who Peace, Wolf Alice or Temples are :(

― μ thant (seandalai), Tuesday, 11 March 2014 23:23 (twelve years ago)

big fan of wool phallus here

― eardrum buzz aldrin (NickB), Tuesday, 11 March 2014 23:27 (twelve years ago)

All you need to know about Peace
http://fuckyouneilkulkarni.blogspot.com/2013/04/peace-in-love-columbia.html

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 11 March 2014 23:38 (twelve years ago)

so, how long have they been doing these small print quotations on the left of the cover ?

not that i care to be honest.

worthiness of featured bands aside, the design aesthetic of this new era is truly dreadful.

― mark e, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 10:22 (twelve years ago)

some other music mag did that quotation thing didn't it? maybe Q on the spine.

― Eyeball Kicks, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 10:29 (twelve years ago)

yup.

but seem to recall that they never gave the source of the quote, and part of the 'game' was to figure out the connection to an article in the issue.

a bit like how mojo head all their printed letters with movie quotes and you are supposed to figure out the source.

― mark e, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 10:34 (twelve years ago)

I had not noticed the mojo letters quotes!

― Eyeball Kicks, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 10:41 (twelve years ago)

Ugh can people stop linking to Kulkarni's old man yelling at clouds schtick? He has been coming across exceptionally poorly over the last few months.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 10:45 (twelve years ago)

Someone had to say it I guess... I notice this kind of unbridled bitterness seems to be a prevalent thing among writers of Kulkarni's generation lately. The thing is I don't necessarily think they're wrong - they've certainly got a reason to be antsy, but it also displays an utter lack of consciousness or humility, as if everything used to be wonderful and now it's all commercialised shite etc, and before you know it you're sitting in a cab with Kulkarni as the driver spouting off about how everything's wrong with the world today... Also, am I the only one who finds some of his sentences completely unreadable? Is that on purpose?

― wank-bond-villain-looking villain, (dog latin), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 10:58 (twelve years ago)

as if everything used to be wonderful and now it's all commercialised shite etc

daresay there are a bunch of lol old writers whose spiel fits this description but everything I've read by Kulkarni in years has him going out of his way to *not* be that guy

can't say I much enjoy reading him or anyone else foaming at the mouth about some ignorable indie band or other these days, although not sure if that's more to do with the quality of the rhetoric or the fact that it seems so easy to compartmentalise most rubbish music out of my life, generally speaking

― trying to emulate Kirk Cobain with a shrill, shouting voice (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 11:20 (twelve years ago)

The problem is the gap between the idea that Peace are being forced down everyone's throats by an overbearing, powerful industry and the reality that they're extremely ignorable.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 11:26 (twelve years ago)

http://fuckyouneilkulkarni.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/funk-singular-page-march-2014.html

kulkarni foaming at the mouth about lily allen was about half great and so nearly the kind of calling-out i wanted to read but he just kept devolving into old-man-shouts-at-cloud-about-younger-writers and wah-they've-run-me-out-of-the-industry. frustrating because the bits about media mateyness protecting her was otm

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 12:06 (twelve years ago)

xposts Yeah i've not heard of any of these acts until now either, but despite considering myself an alt/indie fan, I've long considered the NME universe as distant nebula. Same goes for the BRITs. For his sins, Charlie Brooker recently identified a certain part of British pop culture as 'Bake Off', and I know what he means. It's stuff the media seems to think people ought to be interested in, a big glut of mediocre pap that is neither commercially nor alternately interesting (at least not to me). I'm not personally fussed about Emili Sande, Strictly Come Dancing or Arctic Monkeys, but also I see little reason to get wound up about it because this kind of thing's always been around. To me it's like the people who say music's gone down the dumper because 'everything's just Simon Cowell nowadays'. Hasn't this kind of thing always existed? Maybe it's the perception that the once-irreverent, once-independent NME is joining the ranks of Bake-Off, but reading NK's rhetoric I'm never quite sure what it is he's actually frustrated with - he just comes across as angry, and for someone who doesn't like to be seen as a ranter or a finger waggler or a rose-tinter he sure has me confused.

― wank-bond-villain-looking villain, (dog latin), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 12:15 (twelve years ago)

What does "neither commercially nor alternately interesting" mean? I don't understand the Bake-Off analogy. Sande and Strictly aren't "stuff the media seems to think people ought to be interested in" - they get coverage because millions of people really are into them.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 13:33 (twelve years ago)

And people are into them because they get coverage. They're not interesting to me, but I'm not denying people like them or anyone who does like them. That's my point, it's not worth getting wound up about.

― wank-bond-villain-looking villain, (dog latin), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 13:38 (twelve years ago)

just taste-tested all 3 of those bands and they're ok tbh as long as i don't look at them, altho the Peace bloke has got the horriblest marble-mouthed yelp voice

― first rule of franco club (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 14:02 (twelve years ago)

like if indie 2014 is having a shoegazy fake psyche phase god knows it's done worse

― first rule of franco club (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 14:03 (twelve years ago)

What makes them 'unholy'? Do they sing about satan?

― wank-bond-villain-looking villain, (dog latin), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 14:05 (twelve years ago)

haha that Neil Kulkarni review of Lily Allen is magnificent me-bait :D I think I might have to listen to all the music he angrily links to

― You cannot interrupt his tea stirring because it is his holy trick (imago), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 14:12 (twelve years ago)

wah-they've-run-me-out-of-the-industry

This is the worst thing about these screeds really, like I have sympathy for him to an extent, but at the same time not that much because this is something that every generation of young music journalists have done, including/especially his own.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 14:15 (twelve years ago)

"This is a significant moment"
HARRY

― a hoy hoy, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 14:28 (twelve years ago)

Well, I've read it all and I agree with it. I don't think it comes off as particularly bitter about his own career, but I speak as a fellow ex-private-school pupil who (bitterly) rejects the bland & baseless elitism of accepted cultural hierarchies, so perhaps I'm overly disposed in its favour to begin with.

Plus, this Bolzer EP is fucken immense :D

― You cannot interrupt his tea stirring because it is his holy trick (imago), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 14:29 (twelve years ago)

it is!

― Scooby Doom (۩), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 17:06 (twelve years ago)

can't really hate on john cooper clarke getting on the cover of a mag in 2014

― gimme the lute (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 17:25 (twelve years ago)

JCC does voiceovers for oven chip ads in 2014.

― oppet, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 17:28 (twelve years ago)

Yeah there's less of that in the (completely OTM) Lily Allen piece and he used to be a great writer but like the much more clownish Everett True it's an approach to writing that becomes less and less edifying as the writer gets older. Also as with all these guys the prose just isn't anywhere near as exciting as the writer seems to think.

Don't get me wrong I'd take Kulkarni over any modern day IPC hacks any day of the week but this is a fight that would be better left to some actual young people, except none of them give a shit about the NME or most of the music it covers.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 17:57 (twelve years ago)

Timely reminder that more people now buy Horse & Hound every week than the NME.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 18:01 (twelve years ago)

two weeks pass...

http://nme.assets.ipccdn.co.uk/images/NMECoverKurt_CMA3_010414.jpg

― PaulTMA, Tuesday, 1 April 2014 13:45 (twelve years ago)

It's like they are now pandering to this thread as it's the last remaining evidence of interest

― PaulTMA, Tuesday, 1 April 2014 13:46 (twelve years ago)

oh ffs

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 14:03 (twelve years ago)

"Kurt the musical is very likely to happen..."

― Angkor Waht (Neil S), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 15:46 (twelve years ago)

isnt that a drawing of Macaulay Culkin?

― Scooby Doom (۩), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 15:54 (twelve years ago)

The cost of stock Cobain photos must have gone through the roof this year.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 1 April 2014 15:55 (twelve years ago)

♩_♩

― DDD, Tuesday, 1 April 2014 16:08 (twelve years ago)

Forget the drugs and the shotgun
Forget the drugs and the shotgun
Forget the drugs and the shotgun
Forget the drugs and the shotgun
Forget the drugs and the shotgun
Forget the drugs and the shotgun
Forget the drugs and the shotgun
Forget the drugs and the shotgun

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 20:07 (twelve years ago)

four weeks pass...

http://www.nme.com/images/NMECoverStoneRoses_CMA3_220414.jpg

actually made me want to punch someone -anyone- in the face

― ricky don't lose that number nine shirt (NickB), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 10:37 (twelve years ago)

Just to remind everybody what the NME said about the record at the time.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 10:45 (twelve years ago)

That was acid house stormtrooper Jack Barron though. He liked it but was annoyed it wasn't ravier.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 10:59 (twelve years ago)

I’m thinking of all those baffled 15-24 year-olds who the NME would like to be reading them (rather than the 35-54 year-olds who actually do) scratching their heads about an album released before they were born, the original review of which contained references to Rain Parade and Dream Syndicate (“Whit’s that? Ye whit?”).

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 11:17 (twelve years ago)

If you're young and you like indie-rock I don't think the first Stone Roses album is likely to cause much head-scratching. The Beatles split up before I was born but I wasn't puzzled by people talking about them when I was a teenager.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 11:25 (twelve years ago)

I naively imagine they'd prefer the NME to be on the case about stuff that's happening now. However, the eighth best album in their 1989 critics' poll was Hup by the Wonder Stuff, so no change there really.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 11:27 (twelve years ago)

I like that record, and loved it to bits when I was 15, but I am fucking fed up of it now.

― i reject your shiny expensive consumerist stereo system (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 11:32 (twelve years ago)

Not Hup, btw.

― i reject your shiny expensive consumerist stereo system (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 11:32 (twelve years ago)

Obviously. It's impossible to be fed up with Hup.

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 12:15 (twelve years ago)

I've only ever owned the singles collection, but The Wonderstuff were a bloody marvelous singles band.

― i reject your shiny expensive consumerist stereo system (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 12:35 (twelve years ago)

Calling The Stone Roses "the most important debut album in history" seems to me to be servicing a pifflingly small and parochial demographic to the exclusion of all others, but whatevs. Would be interested to see how they could argue that an album that was only ever followed by disappointment (a shit second album, that most inglorious Reading 1995 show, 'We're Only In It For The Money' reunions, etc) was "the most important in history" but, eh, actually I'm not interested after all.

― it definitely wasn't designed to be a pants pocket player (stevie), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:14 (twelve years ago)

Like, did any of them do anything of any real merit at all after The Stone Roses, really? I mean, I hate Oasis like I hate porridge and the colour beige and willing stupidity, but I could imagine a world where a coherent argument could be made for Definitely Maybe being "important".

All in all, I guess I don't really give much of a shit about whether or not an album's "important" really, and certainly the metrics of "important"-ness that prevail at the NME are a pretty deadening measure far removed from the realities of why I love music and love writing and reading about it.

― it definitely wasn't designed to be a pants pocket player (stevie), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:17 (twelve years ago)

hey if we shift to the Eight-legged groove machine we can unify the wonderstuff and 'most important debut album in history' conversations.

― woof, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:19 (twelve years ago)

Like, did any of them do anything of any real merit at all after The Stone Roses, really?

Kowalski, XTRMNTR

― Gritty Shakur (sic), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 14:09 (twelve years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psyCm1vUmbE

― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:15 (twelve years ago)

http://imgs.zinio.com/magimages/67156525/2014/416302117_370.jpg

― and yo-yos (abanana), Friday, 2 May 2014 00:18 (eleven years ago)

I'm sure they've used that exact same cover and headline many times now.

― Kitchen Person, Friday, 2 May 2014 00:28 (eleven years ago)

setting aside that i hate the libs, that's a pretty good cover, with an excellent photograph.

― it definitely wasn't designed to be a pants pocket player (stevie), Friday, 2 May 2014 07:51 (eleven years ago)

a shame they've dribbled all that type over it.

― it definitely wasn't designed to be a pants pocket player (stevie), Friday, 2 May 2014 07:51 (eleven years ago)

I hate the overdose of type on most magazine covers. So needy. Was talking to someone the other day about the confidence of this Select cover which doesn't even mention the band's name.

http://selectmagazinescans.monkeon.co.uk/showpage.php?file=wp-content/uploads/2011/11/cover.jpg

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:03 (eleven years ago)

http://selectmagazinescans.monkeon.co.uk/showpage.php?file=wp-content/uploads/2011/11/cover.jpg

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:04 (eleven years ago)

the issue, i guess, is the fractured music culture - they're not chasing one middling market but a number of smaller ones. if the NME itself had strength as a brand then that wd matter less but i guess this kind of touting for business is evidence that it doesn't

― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:11 (eleven years ago)

i.e. the notional "sad cases in their 30s still chasing their indie youth" market that meanies like me might point to as the audience clearly isn't much of an audience else they wdn't need the come-ons

― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:12 (eleven years ago)

I don't mean the names of other bands, which are lined up neatly, but all the clashing Libertines text. It's ugly and it achieves nothing because people who want a Libertines interview don't need six different bits of text.

The Select cover I was trying and failing to post was the one from Feb 95 which is just a picture of the Stone Roses and the single line "So what kept you?"

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:15 (eleven years ago)

ach, god knows what that is, it's all effing ugly anyway

― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:19 (eleven years ago)

(the Libs cover i mean - clearly the Select is better but i think it comes from a more monolithic culture)

― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:20 (eleven years ago)

Does the world really need a print article about "LIAM'S TWEETS." Really.

― Bramble Bluebell (Branwell Bell), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:20 (eleven years ago)

not gonna start on my jaded old person's lack of wide-eyed wonder re: what music journalism needs

― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:22 (eleven years ago)

It's not even "what music journalism needs" - it's more like, what is the conceivable audience for a print piece about Liam's tweets? Someone who doesn't have the internet or twitter and cannot go and look them up for themselves? Is this 80 year old grandfather really in the NME's desired demographic? I guess maybe!

― Bramble Bluebell (Branwell Bell), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:25 (eleven years ago)

I guess Oasis fans might not know what the Internet is? They must know their demographic better than I do, so who am I to say.

― Bramble Bluebell (Branwell Bell), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:28 (eleven years ago)

MAN TWEETS!

Front page news.

― Bramble Bluebell (Branwell Bell), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:28 (eleven years ago)

everybody loves goss in the social media age

― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:31 (eleven years ago)

hopelessly trying to remember what kind of things i wanted to read about in Kerrang! in 1984

― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 May 2014 08:34 (eleven years ago)

highly promising debut album from New Jersey rockers Bon Jovi.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 2 May 2014 09:13 (eleven years ago)

FISH SPEAKS!

― ricky don't lose that number nine shirt (NickB), Friday, 2 May 2014 09:15 (eleven years ago)

have spent half an hour trying to work out an early 80s equivalent to Twitter just so's i cd do a lame King Diamond joke

xp sadly i did read every Marillion-related tidbit but they felt a bit more substantial at the time

― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 May 2014 09:16 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/7YQLgBf.jpg

― ۩, Saturday, 10 May 2014 17:19 (eleven years ago)

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sonny-Moores-sausage-fingers/362286913588

― the final toasting before making a dash for the frigid regions upstairs (soref), Saturday, 10 May 2014 17:26 (eleven years ago)

really hate this font they are using for the cover.

― mark e, Saturday, 10 May 2014 18:02 (eleven years ago)

oh man enough with this stuff already

http://www.nme.com/images/NMECover101Albums_CMA3_130514.jpg

― piscesx, Tuesday, 13 May 2014 16:15 (eleven years ago)

Doherty almost ruined the only ones for me im not letting him ruin Love.

― ۩, Tuesday, 13 May 2014 16:58 (eleven years ago)

its going to the pete doherty weekly now that he and carl are back together isn't it ..

― mark e, Tuesday, 13 May 2014 17:27 (eleven years ago)

LOST CLASSICS and FORGOTTEN GEMS from underappreciated artists neglected by history like Michael Jackson, the Smiths and Neil Young.

― bizarro gazzara, Tuesday, 13 May 2014 17:32 (eleven years ago)

look who is on the cover again
http://i.imgur.com/m4OXLhU.jpg

― ۩, Wednesday, 21 May 2014 21:10 (eleven years ago)

Band name mentioned 3 times

+Pete Doherty

No Oasis tho'

― mohawk ororoducer (abanana), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 22:08 (eleven years ago)

23 page article inside though

― ۩, Wednesday, 21 May 2014 22:09 (eleven years ago)

the quotes are especially vile

― a hoy hoy, Wednesday, 21 May 2014 22:40 (eleven years ago)

I love the AM and am going to see that show, but good grief, NME needs to shut up about them for a bit.

― president of the people's republic of antarctica (Arctic Mindbath), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 23:51 (eleven years ago)

This thread should be renamed "This weeks NME Cover, you guys"

― Mark G, Thursday, 22 May 2014 09:07 (eleven years ago)

pls stop with the speech bubbles

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Thursday, 22 May 2014 09:13 (eleven years ago)

Blast from the "noughties"
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-t_LotRcb01c/T5UY9cXdyMI/AAAAAAAAANA/vNmQAEJd_Vk/s400/nme11.jpg

― PaulTMA, Thursday, 22 May 2014 09:21 (eleven years ago)

xxxxxxxpost:

I mis-read that band name as 'The Amazing Smackheads' for a second there!

― Toni Braxton-Hicks (Turrican), Thursday, 22 May 2014 14:10 (eleven years ago)

By his cellmate

― Master of Treacle, Thursday, 22 May 2014 14:48 (eleven years ago)

two months pass...

http://www.lesinrocks.com/wp-content/thumbnails/uploads/2014/08/capture-tt-width-324-height-489-bgcolor-FFFFFF.png

― Number None, Sunday, 10 August 2014 18:46 (eleven years ago)

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/53500/nuke-o.gif

― pictures of people who seem to have figured out how to use dropbox (wins), Sunday, 10 August 2014 18:52 (eleven years ago)

Gun Club at 7 seems random and Breeders a bit too. I love both those bands though but had not realised they were more 'influential' than say Joy Division. Thankfully the NME has put me right.

― Hinklepicker, Monday, 11 August 2014 05:48 (eleven years ago)

if you read the blurbs it appears to be "most influential on bands that the NME has covered in the last six months"

― Number None, Monday, 11 August 2014 08:41 (eleven years ago)

Yeah I love the Gun Club and wouldn't have put them that high. Not sure where they've directly influenced people. Other than expansion of accepted influences or possibly loud quiet loud.
I have a Jeffrey lee Pierce tshirt on as I type.

― Stevolende, Monday, 11 August 2014 09:03 (eleven years ago)

I don't know what the context for that list could be because I don't understand it at all. Influential is not subjective enough a concept to leave much wiggle room. You sort of have to lead with the people who changed the game to a measurable degree like Dylan, Bowie, Beatles, Velvets, Stooges, Kraftwerk, Stevie, Kate, Run-DMC, etc or go down the contrarian FACT magazine route and say Arthur Russell and ESG. This is just baffling.

― Re-Make/Re-Model, Monday, 11 August 2014 10:07 (eleven years ago)

Found the explanation:

"When the idea was first floated of an issue celebrating the most influential acts in music today, one question was paramount: where do you put The Beatles? Obviously modern music wouldn’t exist in its current form without them, virtually every facet of NME’s world can be traced back to ‘The White Album’, they’re clearly the most influential act in rock history. End of argument, right?

But how many bands today turn up to a rehearsal room plastered with posters of Ringo, neck a load of brown acid and plug in planning to write a 21st Century ‘Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds’? Far fewer, we reasoned, than want to write their own ‘Seven Nation Army’ or ‘Crystalised’. Ditto Dylan, The Stones and The Who, et al. These are acts whose influence is written in stone, the very bedrock of the form, but who aren’t necessarily directly informing the music being made today any more than Chaucer is influencing Buzzfeed. Influence is a fluid concept, so rather than simply tipping our caps to the legends (again), we set out to quantify which are the biggest influences on today’s music scene. "

― Re-Make/Re-Model, Monday, 11 August 2014 10:15 (eleven years ago)

I mean

6. The Flaming Lips. Whether full of light and colour on 'Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots' and 'The Soft Bulletin' or dark and tormented with 'The Terror', The Flaming Lips were the band that made psychedelia look like an undated, still-potent musical force, and from which all modern psych sprang. Without them, there'd be no Tame Impala, Pond, Temples, Toy or Jagwar Ma.

5. The Strokes. The Strokes remain one of the major touchstones for modern indie. Were it not for them, there would be no Arctic Monkeys, no Franz Ferdinand, no Killers, no Libertines and no Cribs; and their ardent pace, Julian’s no-fi yowls and Albert Hammond’s high-end twangs can still be heard in Palma Violets, The Orwells, Parquet Courts and Twin Peaks.

― Number None, Monday, 11 August 2014 10:17 (eleven years ago)

It's just embarrassing.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 10:31 (eleven years ago)

I think those two examples above are fine, though I'd imagine Parquet Floors would vomit at the thought that they were influenced by The Strokes.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 10:42 (eleven years ago)

Like, there's direct lineage from Lips to Tame Impala, or from Strokes to Libertines. Whether these are good things or not is up for discussion, but the line of influence is there.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 10:43 (eleven years ago)

Libertines and Strokes were practically contemporaries, weren't they? In my head, at least.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 10:59 (eleven years ago)

Yeah, those examples are fine imo. Flaming Lips did inspire a new wave of psych-pop and the Strokes absolutely kicked off an onslaught of skinny guys with guitars, Libertines included.

― Re-Make/Re-Model, Monday, 11 August 2014 11:26 (eleven years ago)

Now that I realise they're narrowing the scope to what's influenced bands in the last few years it makes more sense. You could say that a lot of the minimalist leftfield R&B is Aaliyah + xx and countless female singers sound somewhat like Kate Bush. If we're talking recent I'd throw in James Blake - I constantly hear him cited by people like Lorde and FKA twigs. And Daft Punk should be in there because Alive 2007 basically triggered EDM and Discovery rehabilitated plenty of 70s/80s influences that are now de rigeur. I seem to hear Four Tet's influence everywhere as well. But electronic music doesn't appear to interest whoever put the list together.

― Re-Make/Re-Model, Monday, 11 August 2014 11:32 (eleven years ago)

de rigueur

― Re-Make/Re-Model, Monday, 11 August 2014 11:32 (eleven years ago)

Libertines and Strokes were practically contemporaries, weren't they? In my head, at least.

I first saw Libs when they were touring UK with The Strokes in 2002, so its very close - but let's say that the Strokes definitely had an effect on the Libs and where they were going, or how they presented what they were doing.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 11:42 (eleven years ago)

It's just amazing to me, how 14 years into ILM, people are still discussing "influence" as if it is a real thing.

Because Band X "sounds like" or even "looks like" Band Y, that does not mean that Band X were "influenced by" Band Y.

Influence is this thing that was just invented by record companies or music journalists, to explain how they create and dismantle, and more importantly *sell* bands - 'The' bands with skinny ties are selling well right now, therefore we will say they are all influenced by The Strokes. Did The Strokes invent suit bands? No, they fucking didn't. But after The Strokes had some success, every record company decided they wanted a Strokes, so that's what they go and look for, so that's what they find.

It's almost never artists citing other artists as "influence", it's music journalists saying "X sounds like Y" and then suddenly people remember that as being attributed to the artist, not the marketing mechanism. Music journalists decide what your influences are, and then tell you.

I mean, maybe the NME did go into a bunch of stinky studios around the country and polled the assholes with gig bands they found sitting waiting for rehearsal. Maybe they just asked their readership, who are all in shitty indie bands. If you asked the readership of Guitar Player Magazine, who would they decide were the most "influential" bands? How about the readership of Future Music? Or Resident Advisor? Or Sound On Sound? What fucking "game" are we even talking about? God this is so fucking dumb.

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 11:45 (eleven years ago)

If The Strokes did not exist, it would have been necessary for the British Music Press to have invented them.

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 11:49 (eleven years ago)

It's almost never artists citing other artists as "influence"

I don't think this is true. It's normal to name artists who inspired you, even if you don't directly sound like them (eg Disclosure and Burial). Then you get the journalist-suggested ones, which are sometimes artists that the bands supposedly influenced haven't actually heard, but there's usually overlap between what the artists say and what journalists assume. So The xx hadn't heard Young Marble Giants, true, but they were open about being influenced by Aaliyah.

― Re-Make/Re-Model, Monday, 11 August 2014 11:53 (eleven years ago)

It's almost never artists citing other artists as "influence"

this is not my experience of interviewing artists. they often are open and happy to name influences, and more often than not those who aren't are trying to cover their tracks.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 11:56 (eleven years ago)

Well, I have had the experience from the other side - and so have many, many other artists that I've talked to about it.

That you can go into an interview, saying "my influences are X and Y" and the interviewer will ignore you, and tell you that your influences are Z. Yes, people are willing to name their influences. And after experience, you will learn that your stated influences will be ignored in favour of what the journalist feels like saying you sound like. It's an immensely frustrating situation.

I've been in that seat, of saying "our influences are Spacemen 3, Kenickie and Stereolab" and having journalists tell me to my face, "no, your influences are Sleater-Kinney" when, at that point, I had honestly never heard a Sleater-Kinney record. I'm sure you would have said that was us "trying to cover our tracks."

The "we're influenced by Aaliyah" but "music press insists they're influenced by Young Marble Giants" is pretty textbook in this.

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 12:22 (eleven years ago)

No, it's overlap, not contradiction. The music press also mentioned Aaliyah. It's a Venn diagram. But I'm sure it's frustrating if a journalist flatly ignores your stated influences and insists on a band you haven't heard. Although you did name some influences so the idea of influence isn't a fallacy.

― Re-Make/Re-Model, Monday, 11 August 2014 12:27 (eleven years ago)

For me, the job of a critic is to say which artists sound like they could be influences, even if they're off-target, and the job of an interviewer to listen to what they're being told.

― Re-Make/Re-Model, Monday, 11 August 2014 12:28 (eleven years ago)

When we say "influence is a fallacy" what that means is that influence does not work in the way that that irritating NME thing claims that it does. You cannot tell what a band is "influenced" by, by what they sound like or look like to *you*.

I wish they would invent a new word - or call it what it is; marketing. The Strokes being successful means that for the next five years there will be a glut of bands that<s>sound like</s> dress like The Stokes.

As far as the NME is concerned, the job of a critic is to tell you "if you like B(r)and X, you will like B(r)and Y". Like a marketing guide. Which is fine and there's a place for that, consumer guides are helpful for buying fridges and haircut bands. But don't try to pretend that what that is, is "influence".

Conversations like this really, really make me miss Mark S.

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 12:38 (eleven years ago)

I can only speak from my experiences of interviewing artists over the years, and i believe influence is a think. sorry you were interviewed by a dick that time.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 12:48 (eleven years ago)

a *thing. not a think. but maybe a think.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 12:49 (eleven years ago)

That's right! It was just that "one bad apple" that "one time" and not at all a pattern that happened to me, or any other bands, and there is nothing wrong with that NME list and music journalism has got so much better over the past 15 years, yes*!

*are you kidding me

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 12:56 (eleven years ago)

influence is a thing but rly it's neither a list of names the artist will reel off in interviews nor is it whatever points of comparison first pop into the reviewer's head, though it's probably more the former than it is the latter. dropping a few names sure doesn't work as an easy shorthand for summing up the various social, individual, and collective forces that come together when people make music.

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 11 August 2014 13:03 (eleven years ago)

i had to look up what 'Crystalized' was.

― piscesx, Monday, 11 August 2014 13:04 (eleven years ago)

i guess i'm just suggesting that just because you yourself were not influenced by other artists, and that artists you've spoken to weren't influenced by other artists, that it doesn't mean no artists are ever influenced by other artists. Like I said, I've discussed influence as a thing and influences in general and specificity with artists a lot over the years, and many artists have been willing and open to discuss those influences. I don't mean its always as simple as "I liked this band so I tried to sound like this band", although occasionally it has. Jack White, for instance, has always made it explicit the extent to which he was influenced by specific blues artists, in part to establish his persona, in part to doff a cap to his heroes, and in part out of honesty. I don't doubt there aren't artists whose ideas spark into their head with no external influence - but that's not been, from my experience, the totality, or even the majority.

And as for the person who interviewed you, they sound like they were being a dick. Some of them are dicks. There are also lots of journalists who I respect as interviewers and writers, and its a shame for you that you weren't interviewed by one of them.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 13:06 (eleven years ago)

Also, re: influence, its a thing to talk about, isn't it, to help a reader know where an artist is coming from? If you want to call that marketing as opposed to criticism then knock yourself out, but I'm sure as heck being paid critics' rates and not marketeers' rates.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 13:07 (eleven years ago)

I don't know. I mean, part of why I write about music is I'm genuinely fascinated by the creative process, where the ideas come from, what feeds them, what shapes them, and so on. So influence is a part of that. I'm curious about this stuff. I don't do this so I can write about blow and groupies and lurid nonsense, the creative process is often the meatiest part.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 13:08 (eleven years ago)

i agree with merdeyeux, influence is probably a thing but closer to "everything" than "specific things" and the laundry list of bands-in-our-field with a couple of curveballs (one of whom is usually aaliyah) is a boring thing indeed, and THAT is definitely more about marketing than the creative process

― lex pretend, Monday, 11 August 2014 13:11 (eleven years ago)

whatever the mechanisms of influence might be, i think when an artist is described as "influential" then it is mostly external factors that are being described and trying to trace influence in that direction is a critical rather than artistic pursuit

― The aim of Rooney is spot correct (Daphnis Celesta), Monday, 11 August 2014 13:17 (eleven years ago)

I was going to ask what the Gun club thing said, then went and looked on the site to find this
'7. The Gun Club. : "They play very intense blues punk and I don't think anybody's really done it like that since then. It's incredible. People talk about how The Velvet Underground and how they weren't popular but they influenced a bunch of bands. The Gun Club are the same way."

Read more at http://www.nme.com/photos/nme-s-100-most-influential-artists-50-1/346061/1/1#KIIXvxvdweKVDHXD.99'

which sounds contradictory. & at best some kind of distant hearsay. I'm not sure who was being quoted there anyway.
I was wondering what the story was on bands influenced by them given the qualification I read elsewhere. & I'd really like to know who they are. They might be something I'd like to be listening to.
But then again I'd probably have the same feeling as I do with the MC5, if there was another band as outstanding as the MC5 in a later era they couldn't really sound the same since their originality was a strong factor and a later clone would be pretty different. ( That is if you don't just think of MC5 as being the Who with another guitarist and a possibly harder hitting sound)
I'm not sure you 'd arrive at a decent approximation of The Gun Club without the internal chemistry of the band both positive and negative. & that's probably down to the personalities involved.
Same is probably true with The Birthday Party, Swans, Sonic youth and a number of others.

But that is probably a different thing to what influence one would take from any of those bands.

― Stevolende, Monday, 11 August 2014 13:54 (eleven years ago)

Stevie, do you think that that thing you are describing is the impetus behind this NME list? Or is it more of a marketing exercise, in terms of "readers of the NME like bands that 'sound like' or 'look like' these bands"?

And take the example of the White Stripes; I know if you talk to Jack White, that he will namecheck the blues artists that he dug, and that's the kind of "influence" you're talking about.

But if you take the wave of bands that were signed in the wake of the White Stripes' success - your Kills and your Raveonettes (and some other bands I'm sure I've forgotten) - those bands were signed because they had the right "stylish boy-girl duo" look and the right "stripped-down blues-influenced roots rock" sound to appeal to ~people who liked the White Stripes~. But if you talked to those bands, I bet they wouldn't say they were "influenced by the White Stripes", they'd say they were influenced by Link Wray or the Jesus and Mary Chain, or whoever. These bands did not pick up a guitar because of the White Stripes. But they certainly got picked up on by the press/record companies because they fit into a specific look/sound pigeonhole. What's the word for the nebulous term that's gone on there? Because it's not "influence". And yet *that* thing is what lists like the NME's list here are showing.

Who's the "Influence"? The original blues artists? The White Stripes? The Jesus & Mary Chain/Link Wray/whoever the other bands are gonna namecheck?

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 13:58 (eleven years ago)

THinking about influences, there always used to be regular columns of the Portrait Of The Artist As A Consumer type where the artist gives a list of things that are significant to them at least in hindsight. Or alternatively at the current moment which isn't the same as influences that lead them to where their successful sound came from but might give some insight into the current one.

I was just wondering if there were things like that in NME etc these days.

Melody Maker also used to run intermittent features of artists listing their top 10s or whatever. I found some very interesting music from there. Odd to see things like Genesis P Orridge listing a lot of psych & acid folk in the late 80s.

― Stevolende, Monday, 11 August 2014 14:00 (eleven years ago)

An A&R rep?

xpost

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:03 (eleven years ago)

The Quietus' Baker's Dozen feature is a modern analogue of that kind of feature. And generally really interesting. And not about 'influence' necessarily.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:04 (eleven years ago)

~Influence~: "Pretenders have aped Joy Division’s sound, but they didn’t have the same spirit. Now, though, true heirs have arrived." <- what does that even *mean*?

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:04 (eleven years ago)

Stevie, do you think that that thing you are describing is the impetus behind this NME list? Or is it more of a marketing exercise, in terms of "readers of the NME like bands that 'sound like' or 'look like' these bands"?

Honestly, I think the impetus behind this list is just to cook up a "new" "twist" on the same dull list features that have smothered the music press for over a decade now. It's definitely marketing, but I'm unwilling to dismiss the whole concept of influence just because there's another unimaginative feature concept here.

What you're talking about with regards to the bands signed in the wake of the White Stripes, sure, the marketing dudes are "influenced" by the success of the White Stripes and might market them like that. To be honest that side of the business has never held any interest to me. I think a good critic would be able to discern what those artists' "true" influences were, and a lazy critic will just cite the "influences" mentioned on the press release.

But the truth is that sometimes bands/artists are as cynically "influenced" by another artist's success as the marketing departments you are talking about. That hysterical douchebag from Razorlight was shopping around various different incarnations before shaping himself in the guise of the bands who were big then and hitting some fleeting success.

I'd argue also that a lot of artists may not be conscious of who they're influenced by, and a critic might be able to hazard a wise guess that would be more illuminating than who they say they're influenced by. In the end it's just conjecture.

Anyway, I was mostly responding to your suggestion/insistence that "people are still discussing "influence" as if it is a real thing." As I said before, it may not be for you, but I've discussed influence and influences often with artists, and often found it illuminating.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:10 (eleven years ago)

The NME List is probably just the writers for the rag trying to bring attention to their favourite artists. I've barely glimpsed at what the contents are, while fast forwarding to get to the Gun Club but it does seem there are some oddly placed names at least in terms of that being a heirarchical list.

But that thing about these other somewhat similar bands being signed is something that has gone on for years. Certainly during times like Mersey beat, punk and whatever.
I think i noticed something similar with film actor/resses where somebody like Sigourney Weaver gets discovered because Faye Dunaway is popular or something. & that's just down to some level of facial resemblance. I could be wrong on that example but it does seem that there has been some level of that happening over the years.

Still having a scene of very original bands may be very difficult for those doing the signing. Reducing originality to a formula that can be cloned and marketed is counterproductive, at least in terms of quality.

― Stevolende, Monday, 11 August 2014 14:10 (eleven years ago)

~Influence~: "Pretenders have aped Joy Division’s sound, but they didn’t have the same spirit. Now, though, true heirs have arrived." <- what does that even *mean*?

I guess that sound and spirit aren't necessarily the same thing - that you can 'sound' like something, but maybe there's an energy, a quality, that's absent. I don't know, that's not a particularly illuminating sentence, and truly I don't want t hear any bands in 2014 who sound or share the spirit of Joy Division.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:12 (eleven years ago)

Also influence always struck me as being at its most important in the formative stages of a band, before they started writing their own original material i.e. found their own voice.

― Stevolende, Monday, 11 August 2014 14:13 (eleven years ago)

and yes, those quietus bakers dozens are often lots of fun (and illuminating, seemingly my word of the day) to read.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:14 (eleven years ago)

one last point (and then i need to go off and think up some "funny" photo captions) but I remember Jack White complaining that critics often made comparisons between his voice and Robert Plant's, and him responding that Plant was his least favourite element of Led Zeppelin and that was why he found the comparisons offensive. I don't think he sounds a huge amount like Plant, but he doesn't sound unlike Plant, in some moments.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:19 (eleven years ago)

also, my favourite album of the year so far is kate tempest's, and I'm bummed that I haven't had a chance to interview her, because I'm really fascinated to know where she's coming from, influence-wise - literary as well as pop-wise, as well as life-wise - because I would love to know what led her to make that album.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:21 (eleven years ago)

What you're talking about with regards to the bands signed in the wake of the White Stripes, sure, the marketing dudes are "influenced" by the success of the White Stripes and might market them like that. To be honest that side of the business has never held any interest to me.

See, I find *that* side of the music business absolutely fascinating. The fads, the trends, the bandwagons, how they form, how they get dismantled, what drives those weird memetic fashions in music and genre. How artists both contribute to the process, and subvert the process. I find that sort of thing amazing and illuminating. Some of my favourite narratives-of-artists have been ones who were opportunistically signed at the end of a bandwagon, and exploded into something completely different. (I'm specifically thinking here of Blur getting signed at the tail end of Baggy here.)

I mean, yeah, there are bands like Razorlight, who will go jumping on any bandwagon just to get signed. I know that happens. And then there are the more nebulous cases. The link of The Stokes -> The Cribs is an interesting one. (I've told this story a million times before but I'll tell it again.) Because we met them before they were The Cribs, in fact, they buttonholed us at one of our gigs, talking my ear off about Riot Grrrl and Kill Rock Stars and K Records, and all the stuff that they were into. Then we came back on our next tour, and almost overnight, they had metamorphosed into a Strokes-a-like band, changed their clothes, their hair, even their *name*. Were they "influenced" by The Strokes? Was that a cynical bandwagon-jumping exercise in trying to get signed? (I guess it worked!) And yet, I still occasionally read interviews with them, and they're back to talking about Riot Grrrl and K Records as if that whole Strokes thing was just a T-shirt they put on to get signed. It was a lot more complicated than it looked.

To me, those questions about "how creativity" works are actually ... it's not that they're boring, so much as they are *inexplicable*. The two most common answers are: 1) "I tried to write a song that sounded like something completely different, and this came out" or 2) "I have no idea, it's like listening to the radio, songs are just out there, and all I do is write them down." It's as personal to that artist, and as opaque to anyone else as trying to describe "what did you dream last night" or "what does an orgasm feel like". It loses something in the retelling; turns a process which seems like it should be profound into something on a level of "groupies and blow" (and you know what, I wouldn't go dismissing the influence of drugs or women on art, either, TBH.)

I'd argue also that a lot of artists may not be conscious of who they're influenced by, and a critic might be able to hazard a wise guess that would be more illuminating than who they say they're influenced by. In the end it's just conjecture.

Do you have any idea how patronising this sounds? This is exactly what I'm talking about; bands who will be *told* by critics that they were ~influenced by~ things they may never have heard. Critics who think they know more about the artist than the people themselves do: seriously, get over yourself. This is the worst. This is the kind of attitude that prompts me to say things like "There is no such thing as influence."

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:37 (eleven years ago)

Amazed that any band would admit to being influenced by the Strokes at this stage, they should be at peak levels of unfashionable right now.

― Matt DC, Monday, 11 August 2014 14:42 (eleven years ago)

Totally with Bramwell on the marketing side of things. Find it fascinating. Also adore the "what are you listening to" type aspect of artist interviews, but I think that's something different to 'influence'.

Philosophically, in terms of both marketing and art and psychology, most people don't know specifically what they're channeling, a lot of the time, just because there's too much stuff being channeled, some of it deliberately and a lot of it not so.

Bramwell, have you seen the recent Swedish film "We Are The Best"? I'd be intrigued to know what you think of it if you have.

xpost - aye, nothing so uncool as 10-12 years after its peak. But they might be about to roll past that uncool point?

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:44 (eleven years ago)

The point at which "totally uncool and unfashionable" turns into "elder statesmen of rock" is about 12 years.

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:53 (eleven years ago)

See, I find *that* side of the music business absolutely fascinating. The fads, the trends, the bandwagons, how they form, how they get dismantled, what drives those weird memetic fashions in music and genre.

i find it fascinating too, but i have about as much idea re: the answers as i did ten years ago, because no one ever cops to this happening until 10-20 years after the fact! at the time, most critics just prop up the narrative that whatever "trend" scene dominates the music press at the moment really is the most exciting, most NOW thing happening rather than anything to do with marketing or hype bubbles...

― lex pretend, Monday, 11 August 2014 14:54 (eleven years ago)

How much is that to do with musicians and artists and writers (etc etc) (of a certain stripe) wanting to feel that they are immune to such influences?

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:55 (eleven years ago)

Thing is, with historical hindsight plus "there at the time" knowledge, who gets roped in vs who gets left out is also really, super interesting. (And reveals the historians' biases, hugely.)

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:56 (eleven years ago)

I don't mean for it to be patronising - what I mean is, an artist might not be consciously able to pull apart their art that way, they may not even be inclined to - it might spoil "the magic", and so on. The critic, as an external force, might be able to hear clearer at a distance. I know you've clearly taken a very partisan stance against "the critic" but isn't any listener able to offer their own take on their music? Or is the creator's take on it the only valid one? Because that flies in the face of everything I've ever understood about art and how it is received and consumed, and I don't believe it one bit - in fact, I find it impossibly patronising of *the listener*.

And sure, drugs and women (or men, men can be groupies too) are powerful influences - that's not what I'm saying, and I'm guessing you know that. I'm saying that discussing the art and what made it is infinitely more interesting to me than the rote sleaze and boasting many magazines seem to prize above all. That stuff that would never make for a great pull-quote is often the substance for all this.

And can you stop making out that I'm some patronising villainous critic, maybe? I think its hugely misrepresentative of my work and how I approach it, and its something I take very seriously, and that's something I'd argue is borne out by my body of work, and I don't really appreciate being slighted because some dick from a fanzine told you you were influenced by Sleater Kinney. And I won't judge you on the experiences I've had with shithead musicians.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:57 (eleven years ago)

Stevie, you know that I have consistently taken the Barthes position on fandom, and the listener's interpretation is just as valid as the creator's interpretation of a piece of art.

But what I am *AGAINST* is the idea of "music critic" as some kind of ~Super-Listener~ who somehow ~knows the artist's intentions better than the artist does~. That is complete fucking bullshit. You can argue interpretations. The critic's position is one interpretation, among many. (And it's often a position I, personally, tend to de-prioritise, on account of the demographics of who tends to be "music critics".) This whole idea that the critic takes one interpretation, turns it into an intention, and calls it ~influence~? That's pernicious bullshit!

And the more that you try to paint this as "just me" having "one bad experience" with one dickhead "fanzine writer" - the irony is, I only went to look up the Joy Division entry because I wanted to know if they mentioned Int*rp*l. Another case in point, of a band who have been told their entire career that they must have been influenced by Joy Division, when it's impossible to talk to Int*rp*l for more than a minute without discovering that actually their principle songwriter was actually way, way more inspired and influenced by Fugazi? This is not some ~isolated experience~ of mine. It's a common thread with many artists, in their dealings with the british press.

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:08 (eleven years ago)

I mean, gah, being oversensitive above there, but it really is a drag to be trying to discuss this from a critic's point of view and to be constantly told that I'm being patronising for not swallowing the artist's press release unquestioningly. The listener's perspective has validity too. And the artist is occasionally masking the fact that they might be a little too influenced by another artist. Although your band were clearly, from what I remember, not influenced by Sleater Kinney.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:08 (eleven years ago)

xp

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:09 (eleven years ago)

I don't think anyone's take-away from this thread is that you're a "patronising villainous critic", dude, not at all.

xposts.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:09 (eleven years ago)

enjoying this but can i be nosey? i don't know new ilx names so can someone say who bramnwell used to be/wh4t b4nd N's 1n?

― a hoy hoy, Monday, 11 August 2014 15:10 (eleven years ago)

Please DON'T, thanks, hoy hoy.

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:11 (eleven years ago)

Always baffles me that I can recognise Bramwell's tone at about 1000 yards regardless of username but I can't keep track of anyone else who changes their name.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:12 (eleven years ago)

its cool, i knew i was being nosey.

― a hoy hoy, Monday, 11 August 2014 15:13 (eleven years ago)

I mean, I think everybody's main takeaway of this thread is "the NME is a shitstained rag of an excuse for music writing" but I think that no longer needs to even be stated. ;-)

I can recognise Bramwell's tone at about 1000 yards

But you still can't SPELL my damn "tone" ppttttthhhhtt :-P

(Now can we please not continue on this topic, IRL-identity-speculation does genuinely upset and worry me. Thanks.)

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:15 (eleven years ago)

Damnit.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:16 (eleven years ago)

I mean, fair enough. To be honest Interpol never held my interest long enough for me to discover if they sounded much like Joy Division (though if I'd heard much that reminded me of Fugazi I'd have listened closer). It seems insane to me that an interviewer would posit to an artist that they *had* heard a band when they hadn't - not saying it doesn't happen or didn't happen to you, more that I don't understand where they think that might go as a critical gambit. The whole question of "influence", like I said above, is often a guess to place an artist in some kind of context, a shorthand, certainly in reviews - but again, artists' relationship to the music that first inspired them can be a really illuminative path of inquiry.

And it doesn't have to be music - one of the most interesting interviews I did last year (and it should have been, considering it lasted 5 hours and included very confrontational passages where the artist was explicitly fucking with me) was with an artist whose new album was mainly inspired/influenced by his first serious relationship, an influence/inspiration he teased discussing with me for a large part of the interview, before opening up later on, as he'd clearly wanted to do throughout.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:16 (eleven years ago)

Influenced by and reminded of = not analogues (of course, of course, I know you know, etc etc). But Fugazi are kidn of a perfect example of influence here, because what might artists influenced by them takeaway? A guitar tone? A compositional approach? A lyrical direction? A DIY business model / ethic? Taken independently any one of these pieces might be indiscernible to any given listener.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:19 (eleven years ago)

That's a good point. If I say your band sounds like the Stooges, there might be a different Stooges that lives in my head to the Stooges that live in your head. One of the challenges of criticism, I guess.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:21 (eleven years ago)

eh, I'm not making sense any more. off to fashion those puns...

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:23 (eleven years ago)

Exactly; this is why the "sounds like X" is such a meaningless way of describing music, because what you like about Fugazi might be completely different from what I hear in Fugazi.

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:24 (eleven years ago)

I said a few months ago that "I like this bit of this song by this band because it reminds me of this bit of this song by this band but made into a pop song", and pretty much everyone else I knew went "I like it because it sounds like this whole other band that you don't even like and specifically are unfamiliar with this era of" and I had to just go "oh". #u2

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:25 (eleven years ago)

People experience the world in vastly different ways, even if it seems like they have stuff in common to start with. I'm as solipsistic as they come in many ways but even I have to recognise that fact (and work hard with it every day in my job).

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:26 (eleven years ago)

this is why the "sounds like X" is such a meaningless way of describing music, because what you like about Fugazi might be completely different from what I hear in Fugazi.

It's at-best imperfect, but, short of just directing people to youtube clips/spotify links (and fuck that btw) its a way of starting a/the discussion.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:27 (eleven years ago)

I mean "the Stooges that live in your head vs the Stooges that live in my head" is the most pithy and valid thing you've said on this thread, Stevie, and I know *exactly* what you mean.

Years and years of saying that I loved the Velvet Underground, and failing to understand why so many bands that did three chords & a ton of feedback while wearing leather jackets failed to capture what I loved about the Velvets - I guess this is what they *meant* about the "spirit" as opposed to the "sound" of Joy Division (though, honestly, I, too, am *tired* of both.) It took me decades to realise that "feedback plus drugs" was not what I was responding to in the Velvets, but "Queerness and the painful yet ultimately beautiful poetry of accepting yourself in the Other and the Other in yourself" was.

― are we shoegaze or are we dancer? (Branwell with an N), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:32 (eleven years ago)

Alan Moore once offered a useful variation on this - "The poem that you read might be better than the one that I wrote" - and claimed it came from Eliot, but I can't find corroboration of this, now.

― sʌxihɔːl (Ward Fowler), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:35 (eleven years ago)

That's a good point. If I say your band sounds like the Stooges, there might be a different Stooges that lives in my head to the Stooges that live in your head. One of the challenges of criticism, I guess.

― Sporkies Finalist (stevie), Monday, August 11, 2014 4:21 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I found it interesting reading critics reviewing their work from different perspectives. Like those who were coming to the work fresh because it was just being released so hadn't got its own sui generis weight. Who things were being compared to etc.
& trying to remember the big russian review site's name where the guy mainly specialises in first wave prog etc. Since he was coming at that material from a different perspective too.
& even if I totally disagree with a reviewer it can lead to me hearing things from a different perspective.

I've been listening to the first 2 Stooges lps since I was first getting into music in my mid teens thanks to my elder brother having the 2 lps so it has its own somewhat iconic position. Still to hear the bonus material like the Cale mixes of some of the first lp tracks gives you a different slant.

It was also interesting to read reviews of the late 60s with things like comparing Jim Morrison's voice to that of Eric Burdon. At the time you're presumably having to set up a picture for a reader who has no easy way of going off and hearing the record so the archetypes used as icons for that picture forming are pretty interesting. i don't think I would have made the comparison overly since I was hearing both the Doors and the Animals around the same time rather than Eric Burdon is the one baritone singer people would be familiar with. & the way the 2 sing is pretty different I think.

― Stevolende, Monday, 11 August 2014 15:39 (eleven years ago)

When Baths released his second album a few years back, in every interview he would talk about how inspired he'd been by Azeda Booth, and I was really excited, since I think Azeda Booth were one of the best bands of the last decade, which I can tell you I'm pretty alone in thinking, in Copenhagen but also, like, everywhere. Plus, Baths was really perceptive as to why Azeda Booth were so brilliant, and he explained that he'd been introduced to them from Braids, another band I'd loved and wondered if they'd heard Azeda Booth. But here's the thing: Even though the guy had explained exactly what band had influenced him, and how, when the reviews came in nobody mentioned Azeda Booth, even though they would obviously list several bands he sounded like. Probably for two reasons: 1) Azeda Booth are obscure, and therefore not great shorthand. 2) The brilliance of Azeda Booth is complicated, having to do with the cynical but shockingly straightforward way they discussed sex and drugs. Or something. It takes an effort to explain.

And talking about influence is so often about dumbing down the discourse. I mean, Paul Banks sounds like Ian Curtis, he just does, they sorta have the same voice. But that is both immediately striking, but also completely beside the point as to what Interpol as a band is actually trying to do. Joy Division? They were a yelpy voice, sometimes with a synth backing. The Strokes? Young guys with guitars and expensive hair. Sleater-Kinney? Women! My Bloody Valentine? Guitar pedals. It's just always reductive. Whenever I blog about music, I've always kept in mind to describe differences, instead of similarities. It's always the differences that are interesting.

NP: Azeda Booth. Gonna make your heart beat faster.

― Frederik B, Monday, 11 August 2014 15:49 (eleven years ago)

I remember uploading my hard-work onto one of those early 'sell yr music' websites (Peoplesound or Vitaminic) and there was a "List your influences" section.

Of course, they don't care that you have been listening to Beefheart , Beatles, Kraftwerk and sultansof Ping,

They want to label your song as to who it sounds like that's going right now. So, if it's a bit like Oasis, that's what they want. Even if you actually have been 'influenced' by the exact same forebears, they do not care.

― Mark G, Monday, 11 August 2014 15:59 (eleven years ago)

Bramwell With An N

― noballs (wins), Monday, 11 August 2014 16:00 (eleven years ago)

I think we're all saying much the same thing now.

Influence is who we listened to that made us think we could be musicians or artists.

The other word is defined by 'who is going right now that you sound like that has a modicum of success which means you might ride on their bandwagon a bit by appealing to the same people?"

Does that word exist?

― Mark G, Monday, 11 August 2014 16:03 (eleven years ago)

One of the fascinating recurrences of the record club format is how often we realise, through discussion while listening, that we like the same records for really radically different reasons. Or one likes it and one dislikes it for the same reason. Or various other permutations thereof.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 11 August 2014 16:04 (eleven years ago)

three weeks pass...

http://xrrf.blogspot.nl/2014/09/ipc-subeditors-no-longer-dictate-our.html

― Kibbutzki (Jaap Schip), Friday, 5 September 2014 00:17 (eleven years ago)

http://s.pixogs.com/image/R-1477912-1222664504.jpeg

― Mark G, Friday, 5 September 2014 01:03 (eleven years ago)

http://s.pixogs.com/image/R-1477912-1222664504.jpeg

try again

― Mark G, Friday, 5 September 2014 01:04 (eleven years ago)

http://eil.com/Gallery/165194b.jpg

― Mark G, Friday, 5 September 2014 01:08 (eleven years ago)

Yep, that was worth it!

― Mark G, Friday, 5 September 2014 01:08 (eleven years ago)

Ah. If you were coming in here to complain about the Interpol cover, I was going to break some heads.

― Shugazi (Branwell with an N), Friday, 5 September 2014 09:33 (eleven years ago)

They haven't dictated any youth in some time

― PaulTMA, Friday, 5 September 2014 09:52 (eleven years ago)

They don't appear to have sub-edited any articles in a long time, either. Caught 3 blatant errors in a single article. I guess fact-checkers are a thing of the past.

― Shugazi (Branwell with an N), Friday, 5 September 2014 12:33 (eleven years ago)

two weeks pass...

NME definitely on its last legs, they only went and put my band in the Radar section. I'm still somehow incredibly happy about this, though.

― emil.y, Thursday, 25 September 2014 01:10 (eleven years ago)

omg well played

the NME is obv not a monolithic institution and presumably still employs or sources content from ppl with a genuine interest in good under-the-radar music from a variety of milieux. its primary agendas are usually reductive & boring but it's good to hear that the institution hasn't entirely sacrificed its grip on musical diversity

― pretentious over rated bloody old rubbish (imago), Thursday, 25 September 2014 01:12 (eleven years ago)

congrats! mb you'll be able to gauge the extent of its decline by how useful a commendation this proves to be

― ogmor, Thursday, 25 September 2014 01:16 (eleven years ago)

presumably still employs or sources content from ppl with a genuine interest in good under-the-radar music from a variety of milieux.

Yeah, I still buy it every so often and there are good writers and good bits on new and interesting bands* hidden away in there. The covers and main features almost entirely laughable, though.

*New and interesting guitar bands, for the most part, yes, but there are actually a lot of good, non boring-Bugg-premature-grandad-with-guitar types ones out there at the moment.

― emil.y, Thursday, 25 September 2014 01:59 (eleven years ago)

good enough reason to be happy

― nakhchivan, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:02 (eleven years ago)

oh wow, good work **** of ****!!!!!

― john wahey (NickB), Thursday, 25 September 2014 06:08 (eleven years ago)

fug o' smells

― john wahey (NickB), Thursday, 25 September 2014 06:09 (eleven years ago)

s. log flumes

― john wahey (NickB), Thursday, 25 September 2014 06:10 (eleven years ago)

what did they say about you anyway? i want juicy quotes

― john wahey (NickB), Thursday, 25 September 2014 06:12 (eleven years ago)

This is awesome! I'll see if I can find a copy on campus.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 25 September 2014 07:55 (eleven years ago)

congrats. and:

the NME is obv not a monolithic institution and presumably still employs or sources content from ppl with a genuine interest in good under-the-radar music from a variety of milieux. its primary agendas are usually reductive & boring but it's good to hear that the institution hasn't entirely sacrificed its grip on musical diversity

is definitely true and probably has always been true for its entire existence.

― A college wearing a sweater that says “John Belushi” (stevie), Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:29 (eleven years ago)

ps what is yr band?!

― A college wearing a sweater that says “John Belushi” (stevie), Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:40 (eleven years ago)

Arctic Monkeys, innit.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:42 (eleven years ago)

Ba-dum-tsh.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:42 (eleven years ago)

I'll get my coat.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:43 (eleven years ago)

Sorry.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:43 (eleven years ago)

Oh god I've killed the thread.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:43 (eleven years ago)

stevie, at the risk of letting the moggy out of the sack:
http://riotsnotdiets.bandcamp.com/album/begin-to-dissolve

― john wahey (NickB), Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:54 (eleven years ago)

thanks nick!

― A college wearing a sweater that says “John Belushi” (stevie), Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:55 (eleven years ago)

Congrats, Emil.y!

(The NME can be a sewer, but I can still quote our 2 reviews word for word)

― Welcome to reality. No spitting, please. (Branwell with an N), Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:59 (eleven years ago)

loving the tracks.

― A college wearing a sweater that says “John Belushi” (stevie), Thursday, 25 September 2014 09:28 (eleven years ago)

Thanks, guys!

Arctic Monkeys, innit.

Well, I laughed, anyway.

― emil.y, Thursday, 25 September 2014 12:12 (eleven years ago)

yo that's rly good!! think i liked the b-side best but yeah godspeed

― pretentious over rated bloody old rubbish (imago), Thursday, 25 September 2014 12:25 (eleven years ago)

yeah i think i liked the b-side best too

― A college wearing a sweater that says “John Belushi” (stevie), Thursday, 25 September 2014 13:31 (eleven years ago)

two months pass...

can't wait to see how well this is received

― glumdalclitch, Wednesday, 26 November 2014 05:27 (eleven years ago)

two months pass...

pretty sure this is it:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/NME-MUSIC-MAG-ZZ-TOP-17-NOV-1984-/201051298970

― ledge, Monday, 2 February 2015 14:23 (eleven years ago)

worse than the one with a bald bloke's head painted like a globe, because the mag featured an extensive interview with midnight oil?

― #Research (stevie), Monday, 2 February 2015 14:34 (eleven years ago)

http://thumbs1.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mzywkEkl-R-dEo5q_pbEEwA.jpg

― #Research (stevie), Monday, 2 February 2015 14:35 (eleven years ago)

Jack Barron's head, as we've probably covered upthread

― oochie wally (clean version) (sic), Monday, 2 February 2015 14:59 (eleven years ago)

if you didn't like the ZZ Top cover don't sweat it, just wait until next week and all will be well again

http://www.rockofages.uk.com/stock/6818.jpg

― hot takes: audit in progress (DJ Mencap), Monday, 2 February 2015 15:02 (eleven years ago)

design-wise that's a million miles from awful

― oochie wally (clean version) (sic), Monday, 2 February 2015 15:08 (eleven years ago)

oh agreed, I just posted it because it amuses me tbh

― hot takes: audit in progress (DJ Mencap), Monday, 2 February 2015 15:17 (eleven years ago)

Adrian Thrills, now music critic for the Daily Mail

― sʌxihɔːl (Ward Fowler), Monday, 2 February 2015 15:19 (eleven years ago)

one month passes...

Noel takes on Courtney Love

new musical express

― poxy fülvous (abanana), Monday, 9 March 2015 17:42 (eleven years ago)

http://www.nme.com/images/gallery/NMECoverBeatles_CMA3_170315.jpg

― cgi bubka (NickB), Thursday, 19 March 2015 13:45 (eleven years ago)

most ilm cover they've had for a while though tbf

― cgi bubka (NickB), Thursday, 19 March 2015 13:46 (eleven years ago)

NME covers since the start of 2015:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v472/birdnestsoup/nme.jpg

― cgi bubka (NickB), Thursday, 19 March 2015 13:49 (eleven years ago)

Noel Gallagher's miserable face on 25% of them

― cgi bubka (NickB), Thursday, 19 March 2015 13:51 (eleven years ago)

I know you got Noel!

― a cocoanut rink (how's life), Thursday, 19 March 2015 13:51 (eleven years ago)

fucking hell, that beatles cover. that picture's nearly 50 years old ffs!

― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 19 March 2015 14:00 (eleven years ago)

statistics indicate that there are three times as many noel gallaghers making music as there are women or black people

― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 19 March 2015 14:47 (eleven years ago)

LOL @ "100 Greatest Beatles songs!" Really curious to hear what Dave Grohl and Jack White have to say about that, I only have their opinions on everything else in the universe.

― ©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 19 March 2015 15:54 (eleven years ago)

one month passes...

http://i.imgur.com/aQ20DQm.png

― Eric Burdon & War, On Drugs (Cosmic Slop), Monday, 27 April 2015 21:39 (eleven years ago)

I don't know who that guy even is!

― You’re being too simplistic and you’re insulting my poor heart (Turrican), Monday, 27 April 2015 22:15 (eleven years ago)

Wass not Wazz

― Pat Condell tha funkee homosapien (Noodle Vague), Monday, 27 April 2015 22:16 (eleven years ago)

Mick Talbot

― Master of Treacle, Monday, 27 April 2015 22:20 (eleven years ago)

dont you notice the "get tickets" but? nobody at nme.com has either it seems

― Eric Burdon & War, On Drugs (Cosmic Slop), Monday, 27 April 2015 22:25 (eleven years ago)

*bit

― Eric Burdon & War, On Drugs (Cosmic Slop), Monday, 27 April 2015 22:25 (eleven years ago)

five months pass...

We have a winner
http://nme.assets.ipccdn.co.uk/images/NMECoverChrisMoyles_CMA3_WhiteBorder_300915.article_x4.jpg

― Black Arkestra, Thursday, 1 October 2015 00:14 (ten years ago)

fucking hell, that beatles cover. that picture's nearly 50 years old ffs!

Apparently - two of them are supposed to be 'flying' (tripping), unbeknownst to the other two. I assume it's John and Paul ?

― Luna Schlosser, Thursday, 1 October 2015 07:33 (ten years ago)

But -yes, completely depressing set of covers.

― Luna Schlosser, Thursday, 1 October 2015 07:42 (ten years ago)

effortlessly tapping in to twatosphere culture wars zeitgeist tbf

― called a 'Star' by the Compliance Unit (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 1 October 2015 08:55 (ten years ago)

twatosphere

to avoid getting trenchanted, should point out that this wasn't intended as a pun on 'twittersphere', which has only just occurred to me.

― called a 'Star' by the Compliance Unit (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 1 October 2015 08:57 (ten years ago)

don't trenchant me bro

― called a 'Star' by the Compliance Unit (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 1 October 2015 08:58 (ten years ago)

lots of cats are going to asking each other this week who the stubbly dude on their litter tray liner is

― Ray Chard (NickB), Thursday, 1 October 2015 09:00 (ten years ago)

this is the nme equivalent of clickbait.

3 issues into the new era and only one has been a musician.

i picked up the ex-vampire issue.

summary : its a 20 minute (max!) bus ride skim read.

― mark e, Thursday, 1 October 2015 09:16 (ten years ago)

summary: it's litter

― called a 'Star' by the Compliance Unit (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 1 October 2015 10:21 (ten years ago)

We're done here. Lock the thread. Go about your business.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 1 October 2015 10:24 (ten years ago)

Well, quite.

― Mark G, Thursday, 1 October 2015 10:42 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/lP90f7l.jpg

― Cosmic Slop, Thursday, 1 October 2015 15:19 (ten years ago)

nme.com currently promoting this (dunno if its in the mag or not ) http://www.nme.com/photos/50-greatest-guitar-riffs-of-all-time/289593

― Cosmic Slop, Thursday, 1 October 2015 15:29 (ten years ago)

eight months pass...

http://nme.assets.ipccdn.co.uk/images/NME-Cover-100thingstodothissummer-090616.magazine.jpg

― PaulTMA, Thursday, 16 June 2016 21:34 (nine years ago)

with no actual article in it, just an extended listicle ..

the metro on a wednesday has better (and more) reviews in it now.

― mark e, Thursday, 16 June 2016 21:51 (nine years ago)

strangely reminds me of Youth Suicide in a way

― PaulTMA, Thursday, 16 June 2016 21:57 (nine years ago)

Magazine suicide more like

― Oh baby, if only you knew / Gabnebb hit a hundred-and-two (stevie), Friday, 17 June 2016 07:53 (nine years ago)

Faintly surprised it's still going.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 June 2016 08:08 (nine years ago)

Shit By Both Sides

― Cosmic Slop, Friday, 17 June 2016 11:47 (nine years ago)

surely only a matter of weeks before the content of every article is 100% emojis too

whenever i see a copy of the nme now it's part of a massive stack of unclaimed issues - is anyone even reading anymore other than the morbidly curious music journalism diehard? the most recent abc figures to the end of 2015 show they were distributing more than 300,000 copies of each issue but i have no earthly idea who might be picking them up

― an alternate version of his real world dog (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 June 2016 13:35 (nine years ago)

Walking past shoreditch high street this morning they had 3 people handing them out. Its p easy to be handed something. Reading it is another matter.

― plums (a hoy hoy), Friday, 17 June 2016 13:43 (nine years ago)

You just don't see anyone reading it. Get on the train and there are people reading Time Out and Stylist and Shortlist all over the place but you pretty much never see anyone reading the NME.

― Matt DC, Friday, 17 June 2016 13:52 (nine years ago)

You can finish it in about 5 mins.

― Mark G, Friday, 17 June 2016 14:11 (nine years ago)

Ive tried. Its not even a magazine though. No reviews, no interviews, no news. Basically its some hair gel adverts and a couple pictures of pop stars or ladrock stars and oh look a bin why am i carrying this

― plums (a hoy hoy), Friday, 17 June 2016 14:19 (nine years ago)

How long is it going to last then? Surely not long now.

― PaulTMA, Friday, 17 June 2016 14:25 (nine years ago)

https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7342/27789557981_3851da8532_o.png

― PaulTMA, Thursday, 23 June 2016 23:04 (nine years ago)

Hmm, a cup of tea.

― Mark G, Friday, 24 June 2016 06:15 (nine years ago)

three weeks pass...

No idea what the content is like for this, but the cover echoes the previous 'Anarchy in the UK' cover in 2000 regarding the May Day anti-capitalist riots.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cn3tbTHWEAAOVPc.jpg

― painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture (DavidM), Thursday, 21 July 2016 08:29 (nine years ago)

the past couple of issues have been pretty political too, very critical of of the brexit vote. i'm sure it's one such voice among many within media targetted at young people, but it did make it seem slightly less redundant

― frank field of the nephilim (NickB), Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:13 (nine years ago)

i might choose to disown that comment though if the next cover is owen smith hanging out with the kooks

― frank field of the nephilim (NickB), Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:15 (nine years ago)

Did they do a cover about the referendum before it happened? because that might actually have been useful

― woke newt (stevie), Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:40 (nine years ago)

Brexit tout seul is about as apolitical a Lib Dem talking point as you can get, hence Mr Kooks etc

― Guangchang, thank you man (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:43 (nine years ago)

I can confirm that they did cover the Referendum, yes.

The usual thing, a bunch of indie stars (me neither) saying that Remain was the way, for the most part.

― Mark G, Thursday, 21 July 2016 10:33 (nine years ago)

I felt sure that the thread revive would be to say it was closing completely.

― djh, Thursday, 21 July 2016 19:57 (nine years ago)

only a matter of time I'm sure

― Cosmic Slop, Thursday, 21 July 2016 20:05 (nine years ago)

three weeks pass...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cps0OwVWYAIuT04.jpg

― lazy rascals, spending their substance, and more, in riotous living (Merdeyeux), Saturday, 13 August 2016 08:15 (nine years ago)

Quite a good fit, they're both very brand-conscious. At the expense of everything else, except the brand.

Also, quite a lot of hidden truth in the small phoned-in subheading:

"Let the mischief commence"

mischief < Old French, noun derivative of meschever, to end badly, come to grief

― sbahnhof, Saturday, 13 August 2016 09:08 (nine years ago)

I like how this cover has "F**K THE GENERAL PUBLIC" written on it, particularly since the "general public" has been saying "FUCK THE NME" for years now.

― the hair - it's lost its energy (Turrican), Saturday, 13 August 2016 09:11 (nine years ago)

i like the devil horns from the M. have they done that before?
but yeah, gervais in 2016 making a dumb face, no.

― Einstein, Kazanga, Sitar (abanana), Saturday, 13 August 2016 09:19 (nine years ago)

I don't think the general public knows what the NME is.

― Matt DC, Saturday, 13 August 2016 10:07 (nine years ago)

That YouTube ad where Gervais says "Don't press skip I want to show you a trailer for my new movie" <<< FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

― and all the politicians making crazy sounds (snoball), Saturday, 13 August 2016 10:08 (nine years ago)

If you read the interview, the highlighted comment makes sense in context.

You know that, of course.

― Mark G, Saturday, 13 August 2016 10:55 (nine years ago)

up next: The New Corden Revolution

― PaulTMA, Sunday, 14 August 2016 11:32 (nine years ago)

five months pass...

OK, this thread will do as the search function is broker.

This weeks NME has an article about Lego. Why? Because of how its used in the Lego Batman movie.

― Mark G, Sunday, 12 February 2017 09:56 (nine years ago)

one month passes...

Stormzy is going ham on NME on Twitter right now with some justification.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 13:30 (nine years ago)

@Stormzy1

You lot know I don't rant or open my mouth up for no reason but serious @NME magazine are the biggest bunch of sly, foul PAIGONS.

18m
#GSAP‏ @Stormzy1
@NME They've used me on their cover without my permission. Depression is a very very sensitive issue and it's something I've spoken about

16m
#GSAP‏ @Stormzy1
@NME it is a subject that isn't the easiest thing to speak about. And I've been careful in how I've dealt with it in the media

16m
#GSAP‏ @Stormzy1
@NME after I spoke on it I realised how widespread the issue is which made me think ok kool maybe that was the right thing to do at first

14m
#GSAP‏ @Stormzy1
@NME However using my face as a poster boy for it to sell your magazine is so foul and below the belt I will never respect you lot

― Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 13:36 (nine years ago)

Is anyone even reading it these days

How can it possibly have survived this far into 2017

― PaulTMA, Thursday, 16 March 2017 13:39 (nine years ago)

@Stormzy1 49m49 minutes ago
More
@NME You lot are a bunch of real life fucking pussyholes. Proper dickheads. We've had a good relationship before this, why do you think

@Stormzy1 48m48 minutes ago

@NME it is kool to use my me as a poster boy for such a sensitive issue without permission? You lot have been begging me to be on your cover

@Stormzy1 47m47 minutes ago

@NME and you go and do it in the biggest pussyhole, sly way possible. Bunch of fucking paigons

― Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 13:46 (nine years ago)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=paigon
Top Definition

paigon

friend that lies betrays and isnt true to u

drini: u wana cum cinema
dina: na i woz feelin sik all week includin toai so am stayin home
drini: k den

- hour later drini is walkin to the cinemas-

drini see's dina in the near by shop wiv sum of her frenz drini thinks omg wot a PAIGON SHE LIED TO ME DAT BITCH

― Mark G, Thursday, 16 March 2017 14:52 (nine years ago)

they're still printing over 300,000 issues a week - in fact, the latest abc figures show a rise in circulation from july to december last year

where is the money coming from?! i'm starting to wonder if the continued existence of the nme is some kind of the producers-style high-concept scam

― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:05 (nine years ago)

lol! paigon is one of them funny words that make me irrationally giddy.

― calzino, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:09 (nine years ago)

Paigon is clearly this generation's great insult for many many reasons. Just incredibly verbally satisfying.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:21 (nine years ago)

The editor has been on Twitter trying to smooth this over and is both lying and taking him for a moron, arguing that because they're a freesheet they aren't trying to shift copies.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:22 (nine years ago)

Do you pronounce it like Miss Paigon or like a paigon ritual?

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:22 (nine years ago)

i assumed it was derived from pagan but maybe not? it is an excellent word

― mark s, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:25 (nine years ago)

sometimes spelled pagan fwiw

need to know the etymology too

― lex pretend, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:26 (nine years ago)

nme remains trash obviously

― lex pretend, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:26 (nine years ago)

Where the fuck are they putting these 300,000 copies? Cos I never see them around. Are they still distributing them via university campuses?

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:33 (nine years ago)

they are, according to their abc info

the rest get dumped in canals up and down the country i assume

― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:34 (nine years ago)

never seen one in scotland

― Odysseus, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:35 (nine years ago)

They give them out at London train stations. I think I even read one once.

― Colonel Poo, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:36 (nine years ago)

i've seen a copy left on a bus now and then

― mark s, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:37 (nine years ago)

i've seen some in fopp on byres rd i think, and i've seen them in glasgow uni and some shops in town too. mind you i'm always surprised whenever i do happen across a pile of copies

― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:37 (nine years ago)

saw some in an eastbourne record shop last year, never on a campus though.

― devvvine, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:38 (nine years ago)

xpost
There are always huge piles of them in the Glasgow Fopps, and in dump bins outside River Island too.

― Bernie Lugg (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:38 (nine years ago)

piles and dump being les mots just

― Pengest & Corsa (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:40 (nine years ago)

i've been writing all day abt the UK music papers of 35 years ago -- i made my peace with the changes like 25 years ago i'm not weeping for what's lost or anything, plus (a) changes unavoidable over such timespans and given the internet (b) i p much stopped reading ALL dead-treework 15 years ago unless i was actually subbing it or on-staff

but all the same it is odd to feel associated with what it now is (i think i still know one person who works there who was there when i was, not in editorial per se and in no way to blame for any of the bad stuff -- must be far stranger for her)

― mark s, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:46 (nine years ago)

not that long ago i saw a bundle of hundreds of copies sitting in the rain outside king's cross station, which seemed a little on-the-nose as far as metaphors go

― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:51 (nine years ago)

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Dh-9NNyBipk/maxresdefault.jpg

― devvvine, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:51 (nine years ago)

Does print-NME spend much time extolling vinyl? All creaky old formats together.

Stormzy is currently tucked away towards the bottom of the NME homepage which generally has a bland monochromatic anyweb approach design-wise (interesting disconnect with the printed mag). Several advantages to ditching print and concentrating on the site, brand etc. online - cover star controversies included.

― nashwan, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:59 (nine years ago)

Does print-NME spend much time extolling vinyl? All creaky old formats together.

point of order: people still care about vinyl

― Dysphagia Nutrition Solutions (stevie), Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:03 (nine years ago)

they even pay actual money to own it, which is another crucial difference between vinyl and the nme

― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:13 (nine years ago)

NME has actually been a lot better at putting black artists on the cover since the switch to freesheet. But they're going for a different market now - and even their core demographic is going to me more interested in Stormzy or Wiley than Blossoms or whoever these days. What's inside the cover is woefully thin even by NME standards obviously.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:14 (nine years ago)

Derived from the English pagan (a non-believer) and panga, a type of machete favoured by back-stabbers.

idk how plausible that is

― ogmor, Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:15 (nine years ago)

point of order: people still care about vinyl

I wouldn't have brought it up otherwise! My obscurer point is on how much the print and site content and even agenda may differ.

― nashwan, Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:19 (nine years ago)

given that their demographic also all own phones and probably tablets, the freesheet is presumably a kind of cross-subsidised physical reminder to access the site once a week, with a kind of legacy tangibility that gives it heft or brand aura (or something) that sites which never published a paper version don't have? (kind of like a 10-page flyer for a website)

(also have to say this cover, while clearly stupidly thoughtless in ten different directions, is by no means as bad as the anti-craig david cover of 2000, or whenever it was) (i don;t think depression is a topic they are wrong to consider covering, given their readership -- tho clearly this is a v bad start and i have not yet turned to the actual words involved)

― mark s, Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:24 (nine years ago)

that was MM though

― Odysseus, Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:28 (nine years ago)

MM asks: "Should UK Garage be outlawed?"

― Odysseus, Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:29 (nine years ago)

lol was it? you young people, wot next eh

― mark s, Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:32 (nine years ago)

did we ever work out whether uk garage should be banned btw

― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 16 March 2017 19:56 (nine years ago)

2000-era NME was reasonably pro-UKG fwiw. I mean not to the extent of covering more than Terris or whoever but they did put Craig David on the cover properly and at least some of their writers appreciated what was happening.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 23:05 (nine years ago)

https://sites.create-cdn.net/siteimages/5/5/8/55872/66/5/3/6653512/248x318.jpg

GOMEZ AND ROBBIE - intrigued by this elusive 2 Step duo one can find no trace of today.

― nashwan, Thursday, 16 March 2017 23:37 (nine years ago)

P sure NME did a cover feature on UKG that sent Louis Pattison to Aiya Napa too. Terris just got the one cover feature, during that week in January they always put long shits on the cover.

― Dysphagia Nutrition Solutions (stevie), Friday, 17 March 2017 09:52 (nine years ago)

Long shits.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 March 2017 10:16 (nine years ago)

I liked that debut EP by Terris. Saw 'em live once and they were good. Better than Coldplay who they were co-headlining with.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 March 2017 10:16 (nine years ago)

Yeah, I liked the debut EP too, and enjoyed 'em when I did their first live review at Bedford Esquires. LP was p bad, though, and the singer guy was just a 24 carat dickhole.

― Dysphagia Nutrition Solutions (stevie), Friday, 17 March 2017 10:23 (nine years ago)

Also he sounded like Cartman which should have been a huge signal that they were going to do absolutely nothing.

― Matt DC, Friday, 17 March 2017 10:26 (nine years ago)

tbf Cartman is massive

― Dysphagia Nutrition Solutions (stevie), Friday, 17 March 2017 10:47 (nine years ago)

also a lack of talent no barrier to success in the realms of indie rock

― Dysphagia Nutrition Solutions (stevie), Friday, 17 March 2017 10:48 (nine years ago)

[I remember thinking they reminded me of Bad Brains the first time I saw them, which I totally cannot understand now]

― Dysphagia Nutrition Solutions (stevie), Friday, 17 March 2017 10:48 (nine years ago)

lol waht

― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 March 2017 10:55 (nine years ago)

I mean not early Bad Brains, more I Against I-era Brains, but... That certainly never made it to the record.

― Dysphagia Nutrition Solutions (stevie), Friday, 17 March 2017 10:57 (nine years ago)

that's my favourite bad brains era but yeah i never heard any of that in terris' output! maybe they'd have stuck around longer if it had

― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 March 2017 11:03 (nine years ago)

I honestly can't explain it. It was a dry old time, musically, and I think I was willing stuff to be better than it was, if only to deliver us from Feeder et al

― Dysphagia Nutrition Solutions (stevie), Friday, 17 March 2017 11:20 (nine years ago)

eight months pass...

https://noisey.vice.com/en_uk/article/9kqpx3/nme-2002-oral-history-indie-strokes-libertines-scene

― PaulTMA, Monday, 27 November 2017 19:44 (eight years ago)

In 2002, we owned the scene completely. If you look at the sales of NME, there’s a long slow curve of downward sales from 1964. But there are two blips where they increased – ‘77 to ’78, when NME had finally jumped on the punk bandwagon, and ‘02 to ’05.

Kerrang! was outselling NME 2:1 during 02-05 iirc.

― "Taste's very strange!" (stevie), Monday, 27 November 2017 20:36 (eight years ago)

owned a scene

― Big Pred aka (Noodle Vague), Monday, 27 November 2017 20:41 (eight years ago)

three months pass...

Who was on the final cover? Was it as good as Melody Maker's?
https://www.rarerecords.com.au/store/magazines/melody-maker-20th-december-2000-fred-durst-on-cover/

― PaulTMA, Wednesday, 7 March 2018 13:02 (eight years ago)

According to wiki it's shame, as in the emotion not the name of a band. Kind of apt I suppose.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NME_covers

― Dan Worsley, Wednesday, 7 March 2018 13:27 (eight years ago)

lmao

― (robot gives Mum a hot dirty slap) (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 13:32 (eight years ago)

(@ wikipedia hyperlink)

― (robot gives Mum a hot dirty slap) (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 13:32 (eight years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DXhdBSNUMAIxSH8.jpg

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 13:39 (eight years ago)

5 wite dorks tryin 2 look tough and edgy, a fitting end

― (robot gives Mum a hot dirty slap) (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 13:43 (eight years ago)

Temporarily locking this one as the conversation is also going on here: Has The NME Got Good?

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 7 March 2018 13:44 (eight years ago)


This thread has been locked by an administrator

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