"The Average ILMer"

- hates indie rock/undie rap
- overrates some pop music
- thinks Outkast is mediocre
- alt country = no good
- Pitchfork: Worse than Rolling Stone
- Christgau = Shakespeare

but that's just a general stereotype that has no relation to reality, right guys?

right? =[

Thank you -- check's in the mail.

prone to sweeping generalizations
slightly cliquish
prone to overreliance on lit criticism as model for music criticism
secretly agrees with c/man
doesn't shave as much as they should (male or female)
in denial about JT's utter craptitude
thinks Thor could whoop Superman's butt

i also get the impression most ilmers loath any music writting that is not their own.

Don't come at me with your pop-freudisms!!!

Oh, then the phrasing was perfectly accurate:

http://www.markglinsky.com/tull2.jpg

Are we going by international fixed standards here?

New York City is for sellouts

"without"

X = MC squared.

JAMES TAYLOR AND THE ORIGINAL FLYING
MACHINE?

But I might be projecting here, or something.

yes

~ Has had sex with around five people.

no

~ Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot; no harder drugs.

no

~ Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

no

~ Out of shape.

yes

~ In debt/still paying student loans.

no

~ Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

no

~ Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

no

~ Grew up in a suburb of a major city.

no

born between 1973 - 1979
has a blog
lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area
has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion
takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously
makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme
reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]
male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women]
likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield
still listens to Joy Division
thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers
Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin

Date of Birth 6th September, 1973
Birthplace Milan, Italy
Position Goalkeeper
Height 6' 1''

Carear and Transfer History
From To Date Fee
Castel di Sangro Chelsea 03/07/2000 Undisclosed
Castel di Sangro Chelsea 20/07/1999 On Loan
Lazio Castel di Sangro 01/08/1997 NA
Milan Lazio 01/08/1996 NA

~ Has had sex with around five people.

no

~ Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot; no harder drugs.

no

~ Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

yes, but still in school

~ Out of shape.

debatable, too skinny

~ In debt/still paying student loans.

no

~ Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

no

~ Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

yes

~ Grew up in a suburb of a major city.

no

true

~ Has had sex with around five people.

haha omg lol maybe as of 1994 omg lol

~ Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot; no harder drugs.

true (no illegal drugs though)

~ Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

true

~ Out of shape.

I'm a skinny mofo

~ In debt/still paying student loans.

true....

~ Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

nope

~ Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

some people might think my shirts are ironic, but they're not!

~ Grew up in a suburb of a major city.

yes....but it wasn't very suburban

Yes
~ Has had sex with around five people.

Yes

~ Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot; no harder drugs.

Yes

~ Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

No

~ Out of shape.

Yes

~ In debt/still paying student loans.

No

~ Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

No

~ Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

Yes

~ Grew up in a suburb of a major city.

Yes

has a blog
* Did at one time

lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area
* Yes. L.A.

has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion
* Yes. Coachella.

takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously
* No

makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme
* Yes

reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]
* Yes

male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women]
* Yes

likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield
* No (very much no)

still listens to Joy Division
* Yes

thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers
* Yes (but still read it when I can)

Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin
* Yes (I'm American, and yes I read Spin... but I also read imported copies of Select when I could find it!)

has a blog
Yes

lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area
No

has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion
No

takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously
What's Pazz & Jopp?

makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme
No

reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]
No

male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women]
Allegedly

likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield
Yes

still listens to Joy Division
Never listened to JD, even though i own two albums by 'em. Am I missing out?

thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers
Pretty much

Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin
Yes

~ 24-35.
Yes

~ Has had sex with around five people.
I can't remember. Between 5-7 I think.

~ Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot; no harder drugs.
Drink, don't smoke or take drugs.

~ Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.
University library

~ Out of shape.
Not really - maybe a stone overweight but I can run and I walk faster than you; play football twice a week.

~ In debt/still paying student loans.
Student loans!

~ Attended at least one Lollapalooza.
Nope. Nor Glasto.

~ Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.
Nope.

~ Grew up in a suburb of a major city.
Nope

Well I...huh?

Who is the *most* average ILM? Is it Jess? Somehow he seems too... Jess?

Jess ain't no average person anyhow! He breaks the scale, o' course. :-)

The great thing about this place is that among all the threads with pointless one-line jokes numbering in the dozens... there are some fucking FASCINATING reads here--great arguements, not flamewars. That's pretty rare.

But yeah, Supes is weak against magic--Thor whups 'im. 'Nuff said, true believers!

(x-post)

~ 24-35.
30, barely

~ Has had sex with around five people.
depends on what "around" means

~ Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot; no harder drugs.
drinks occasionally, that's it

~ Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.
sure

~ Out of shape.
My neighbor has a basketball hoop that's a few inches short of regulation. I hope to dunk on it by the end of the summer, but right now, sadly, yes.

~ In debt/still paying student loans.
oh yeah

~ Attended at least one Lollapalooza.
nope

~ Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.
neither

~ Grew up in a suburb of a major city.
small town

has a blog
sounds fun, but how do you people find the time?

lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area
yes

has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion
No. Wouldn't pay for them, that's for sure.

takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously
guilty as charged

makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme
whenever I can find the time

reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]
no

male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women]
yep

likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield
not *particularly*, but I'm not agin it

still listens to Joy Division
not really

thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers
never read NME

Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin
yep, Spin

Nope

~has a blog

Nope

~lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area

Nope

~has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion

'Fraid not (I did see 'em the first time 'round 'though if that counts?)

~takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously

What is this "Pazz & Jop" of which you sepak?

~makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme

Nope

~reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]

Nope

~ male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women]

That was a pretty safe guess then, wasn't it?

~ likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield

Meh

~ still listens to Joy Division

Indeed yes (although I'm extremely curious to know how the "average" ILMer can possibly be "still" listening to Joy Division if they weren't even born until "between 1973 - 1979"!)

~ thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers

Yes - but then I'm developing a marked tendency to think that about pretty much everything.

~ Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin

Select

Has had sex with around five people.

Certainly not. I've never had sex with more than three other people.

~ Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot; no harder drugs.

I drink and I smoke.

~ Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

I work with a computer....

~ Out of shape.

Magnificently so.

~ In debt/still paying student loans.

Not unless you're including a mortgage as "debt".

~ Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

I've done most Reading's since '77; did most Glasto's 1980-93; 2 or 3 Futuramas (if anyone remembers them?)....

~ Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

I can't remember ever having worn an "ironic" T-shirt

~ Grew up in a suburb of a major city.

Nope.

pazz & jop 2003
http://www.villagevoice.com/specials/pazznjop/03/

[a music poll organised by Village Voice magazine, that certain Americans on ILM take far too seriously re: predictions and analysis of results]

i suppose i should have given a parallel brit oriented option: NME albums of the year - when many Brits every year moan at the rubbish selection of albums chosen by NME writers.

or maybe analyse the poor selections for the much maligned Mercury Music Prize shortlist, every year.

-starts threads attempting to annoy people who make ilm slightly better than average internet board.

-posts to these threads

-continues to post to these threads despite suspicious absence of "average ilmers" who are being discussed

-continues to post to ilm despite suspicious absence of ilm

I had gathered what it was - the reason why it seems to be taken quite as seriously as it is however remains shrouded in the deepest mystery.

did you know about this new-ish website right up your street:

http://www.londonimprov.com/londonimproved/index.php

Anyway, howcome no one thought of this--

V/A "This Are Two-John"

born between 1973 - 1979 missed it by a fortnight
has a blog nope
has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion saw them the first time round
takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously nope
makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme nope
reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] don't read it at all
male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women]nope
likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield not especially
still listens to Joy Division didn't listen to them first time round, no intention of starting now
thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers haven't read it in years, so have no idea who it's aimed at and if it's rubbish
Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin read select religiously, the only mag I ever did read every issue

Also, the opposite to everything Gear! said at the top of the thread. Ha, I told you I was the anti-ILM.

24-35. Nope.
Has had sex with around five people. Nope.
Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot; Never.
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry. Nope.
Out of shape. Not so much, actuallu.
In debt/still paying student loans. Unfortunatly.
Attended at least one Lollapalooza. No.
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. Hmmmm... I'm honestly not sure. I don't think so, though.
Grew up in a suburb of a major city. Country!
Born between 1973 - 1979: Younger!
Has a blog... Fuck no.
...which links almost exclusively to other ILMer blogs. N/A
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. Country, still.
Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion. Not yet...
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. I don't take bullshit seriously.
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. I've got several pages of ideas, but nothing complete--pretty geeky.
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] Nope.
Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] Yes.
Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. A little bit.
Still listens to Joy Division: Sometimes--they're OK.
Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers hyperbolic, but not exclusively for teens, and not everything for teens is rubbish
Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin. All that stuff is crap, and at might have fooled me slightly when I was 13, but not today. I read Big Takeover and am all the better for it.

24-35. yes, almost 30
Has had sex with around five people. um, more
Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot drinks socially, other drugs more frequently (esp. weed)
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry. oh my yes
Out of shape. and how
In debt/still paying student loans. tax debt forthcoming, but not for long since I have money saved up, yay
Attended at least one Lollapalooza. two of 'em
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. haha yes
Grew up in a suburb of a major city. Richfield, MN, 20 minutes south of Minneapolis

Born between 1973 - 1979: 1975
Has a blog which links almost exclusively to other ILMer blogs. two of them, three if you count the one where I keep track of my favorite albums (yes I am a sad motherfucker), and yes quite a few of my links are to other ILX folk
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. Lovely Seattle, Washington
Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion. saw it twice, covered it for Rolling Stone
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. I shall hide my head in shame now
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. no, I make EXTREMELY nerdy compilations on a theme. get it straight
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] I don't read it daily, but I browse it about once a week, usually not very deeply. the fact that I know what it is says plenty.
Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] including myself
Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. never cared for Leftfield and think Orbital are reeeally uneven, but basically yes
Still listens to Joy Division: sure, once in a while
Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers probably--haven't looked at it in forever
Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin. Spin for me; I did like the few issues of Select I saw, too.

Yes Yes.

Plus, is Ned Australian? I imagined him as some kind of English guy that looks like he should've been in TG.

~busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever
~alternately, busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative
~doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing")

24-35. guilty
Has had sex with around five people. guilty
Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot yeah, I smoke very very rarely though
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry. I'm not a computer geek, but the general public probably thinks I am.
Out of shape. I'm still in good shape.
In debt/still paying student loans. I don't have to repay my student loans ... yet ... because I'm still a student. I think that counts as a "yes".
Attended at least one Lollapalooza. Three! '91, '94, '97
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. No. Although I do own shirt that might NOW be considered ironic if I wore them.
Grew up in a suburb of a major city It wasn't as buttfuck nowhere as a lot of others I know, but yeah, it was a suburb of T.O.
Has a blog Five years and counting
...which links almost exclusively to other ILMer blogs Yes.
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. downtown T.O.
Has tickets for the Pixies reunion. No, I've never seen them.
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. Not this particular list, but I do take lists far too seriously in general.
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. If mixtapes count, then yes, otherwise no.
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] I look it over a couple of times a week, but I don't get too worked up about anything they write.
Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] *checks* .......................... yes.
Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. OMG DANCE MUSIC WTF ARE YOU SAYING THAT HIP-HOP ISN'T DANCE MUSIC WHAT'S WITH THIS GATEKEEPER HORSESHIT ... yes.
Still listens to Joy Division: I'm a big fan.
Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers hyperbolic, but not exclusively for teens, and not everything for teens is rubbish I haven't read it regularly in years, so I can't really say.
busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever no/no/no/some
alternately, busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative Whatever that is, we probably have the Canadian equivalent on Much More Music and the answer is very likely yes.
doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing") Compared to my post-1979 knowledge, the answer is an overwhelming yes.

24-35. nope! I'm old!
Has had sex with around five people. nope!
Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot drink yes, smoke/pot nope!
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry. nope!
Out of shape. spot on!
In debt/still paying student loans. Debt yes, student loans paid off long time ago.
Attended at least one Lollapalooza. nope!
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. I honestly can't remember, but probably.
Grew up in a suburb of a major city sure!
Has a blog which links almost exclusively to other ILMer blogs Blog(s) yes, although my main one is ailing and will soon die; links: when they were up they were somewhat more eclectic than that.
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. city of 200,000 in south-central Wisconsin, so sure!
Has tickets for the Pixies reunion. nope!
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. I've been taking this too seriously since before I ever actually read the Village Voice.
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. Finally burned my first CDR comp last week; theme was "20 Non-Sucky Country Songs."
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] yep!
Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] yep!
Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. I have one Orbital record.
Still listens to Joy Division never did.
Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers I think it's rubbish aimed at 30 year olds who wish they were teenagers.
busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever no, yes, kinda, no in thunder
alternately, busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative ?
doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing") nope!

A vision! (I am in fact American.)

24-35. nah, 18
Has had sex with around five people. yeah
Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot my old ILM name was DOPESMOKER and I'm in college...
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry. I discovered ILM while working at an ISP.
Out of shape. I kickbox, I can't afford to be out of shape.
In debt/still paying student loans. Still a student though it's going to make me poor for life.
Attended at least one Lollapalooza. Too little.
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. Yeah, but I was a Freshman in High School, is that forgivable?
Grew up in a suburb of a major city Not really a major city persay.
Has a blog Five years and counting Nah, too lazy.
...which links almost exclusively to other ILMer blogs NA
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. NYC
Has tickets for the Pixies reunion. Yeah, I went.
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. I'll agree with this: Not this particular list, but I do take lists far too seriously in general.
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. You know it. How to seduce corny ____ fux.
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.
Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] Yeah dude.
Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. Not really anymore, though I was way into Chemical Brothers around the time Setting Son came out, I think I was about 12.
Still listens to Joy Division: I'm a convert.
Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers hyperbolic, but not exclusively for teens, and not everything for teens is rubbish Never read it, never wanted to.
busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever Yes/Yes/No/No
alternately, busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative What?
doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing") Big time.

any other gay boys here? I'm guessing not many....

today's playlist, although a typical show will have stuff like the cure, the sundays, the happy mondays, dramarama, transvision vamp...

The Alternative 11/11 (ET)

Lightning Seeds - Pure
Pete Shelley - Homosapien
Frank Black - Hang On To Your Ego
Gene Loves Jezebel - Jealous

Public Image Ltd.-Warrior
Depeche Mode - A Question Of Lust
Jesus And Mary Chain - Happy When It Rains

Talking Heads - Girlfriend Is Better - Stopping Making Sense
Velvet Underground - Sweet Jane
Clash - I Fought The Law
Ramones - Do You Remember Rock N' Roll Radio

Jam - Strange Town
Wall Of Voodoo - Mexican Radio
Peter Godwin - Images Of Heaven
Fixx - Saved By Zero

-lives in his parent's basement
-is proud of his complete collection of Guides By Voices albums and singles
-reads Pitchfork religiously, if only to bitch about it on ilm later
-thinks girls are icky

Now, 90% of the people who post on ilm aren't like this at all. But when I think of the people who make ilm a tedious place to be, this is the sort of guy I picture.

The fuck? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I still listen to Joy Division.

24-35 - I am 33
Has had sex with around five people. Oh good lord, I would feel like such a tragic gay whore if I really counted it up, so let's just say it's rather larger than that figure.
Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot - I was straightedge growing up, then hit the LSD pretty hard, now I'm kind of a stay at home nerd (hello ILM!) with occasional binges.
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry. I make music that is tangentially related to entertainment.
Out of shape. - I'm not ripped, but I'm not out of shape.
In debt/still paying student loans. I am not in debt and don't have student loans, but I'm still in grad school.
Attended at least one Lollapalooza. Nope.
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. My fave says "I'd rather be 40 than pregnant"; yesterday I wore my Uriah Heap shirt with the cool looking wizard on it. Irony isn't my primary concern, but it doesn't have to be such a bugbear either. . .
Grew up in a suburb of a major city Louisville, KY is pretty un-major, I reckon.
Born between 1973 - 1979 , nope, '71
Has a blog. No.
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. SF
Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion No, the reunion shows that had me all a-quiver this year were TG and Incredible String Band. They both ruled!
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. I've never really read it; stumbled onto it once while web-surfing, and left quickly.
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. Momus' answer was good: I make nerdy albums on a theme.
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] I am guilty, in more ways than one.
Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] Yes
Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. I'm definitely down with 90s dance music, but that list isn't my cup of fur. It just sounds like the HMV singles bin circa the Criminal Justice Bill riots . . .
Still listens to Joy Division: yes, of course
Thinks NME these days is rubbish. I just don't read it so how would I know?

24-35 21
Has had sex with around five people In the general area
Drinks, maybe smokes socially More drinking than smoking.
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry History major student
Out of shape. I suppose I am these days. In high school I swam every day, but since then....
In debt/still paying student loans Heh yeah I'm still a student but...
Attended at least one Lollapalooza. Wouldn't have gone near it.
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. I have a t-shirt that says "Bank of dad." I guess its ironic?
Grew up in a suburb of a major city Barely; I'm within 4 blocks of chicago, and a block from the El.
Has a blog Five years and counting Just passed the one year mark.
...which links almost exclusively to other ILMer blogs Nope.
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. at school in the middle of nowhere
Has tickets for the Pixies reunion. Nope.
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. I'm interested in it, but not "far too seriously" i think.
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. Occasionally.
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] Perhaps twice a week.
Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] uh-huh.
Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. No. I probably should investigate it more.
Still listens to Joy Division: "Still"? I own all three albums.
Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers hyperbolic, but not exclusively for teens, and not everything for teens is rubbish Never read it.
busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever Sometimes/Yes/No/Usually.
alternately, busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative no.
doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing") Virtually half my collection is pre-1979 jazz.

er...all three albums that matter, that is.

you mean like gay people? *runs*

I haven't been here long and I mostly lurk but what I understand being the average ILMer is a knowledgeable, passionate and open minded music lover that doesn't mind arguing for the sake of it without any aggressivity.

No, I don't mean gay people.

YAY!

Apparently, there are morons out there who count oral like a good old fashioned screw

So I guess you haven't gotten a good blowjob yet. ;-)

Just turned thirty.

Has had sex with around five people.

Uh, closer to a dozen.

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot

Social drinker and pot smoker. I drop an E maybe once every 2-3 months. Didn't try drugs or indulge in any hangover-inducing drinking until my late 20s.

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

Day job: Selling and tech-supporting digital audio workstations (Pro Tools, Logic Audio, Apple computers, etc.).

Freelance job: All-purpose digital musician and producer. I've done everything from commercial jingles to house remixes. Yes, I get paid.

Out of shape.

Reasonably slim at the moment, but want to drop a couple of inches off my tummy and firm up.

In debt/still paying student loans.

Killed off my student loan (finally) last year. I have a couple of debts (one credit card, plus one credit line thru bank for financing equipment), but nothing I can't handle.

Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

Didn't care about Lollapalooza when it was a twentysomething rite of passage, and barely blinked when it got cancelled.

Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

Yeah, and I still do (wear 'em and decry 'em, that is). Isn't that the fun of it?

Born between 1973 - 1979

1974.

Has a blog

No, I prefer semi-autobiographical message board ramblings.

...which links almost exclusively to other ILMer blogs.

No, I'm relatively late to the party that is ILM.

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area.

Beautiful downtown Toronto.

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion.

No. Although I have a soft spot for "Monkey Gone To Heaven".

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously.

What, that Christgau wrap-up thingy? Nah.

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme.

Sometimes, yeah.

Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]

No, I dorked out on Pitchfork for about a week after I found out about it, but on the whole, it's a little too indie-fixated for me.

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women.

Guilty. (???!!!)

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield.

"Chime" blew my mind when I was fifteen. All three acts are OK by me, but I was never a hardcore fan - when they were huge, I was more into things like deep house, d'n'b, and the emerging UKG scene.

Still listens to Joy Division Apart from the "hit(s)"

I'm only really familiar with their best-known stuff, like "Love Will Tear Us Apart" and "She's Lost Control". I like them but am a little too young too have been a fan. New Order, however, are another story. I bought "Bizarre Love Triangle" on 7-inch vinyl as a kid - that was a pivotal moment for me.

Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers

Haven't read it recently at all. Can't comment.

So, whaddya think? Do I fit the profile?

just turned 19

Has had sex with around five people.

Five is correct

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot

Yes to all

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

Kind of.

Out of shape.

too thin. So i guess so.

In debt/still paying student loans.

not yet

Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

Nope

Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

Everything i do is for the furtherence of irony.

Born between 1973 - 1979

1985

Has a blog

Ish

...which links almost exclusively to other ILMer blogs.

---

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area.

small village

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion.

I saw them at a festival if that counts.

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously.

Only found out what that is just now.

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme.

Sometimes

Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]

Not anymore

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women.

Yes!

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield.

I prefer 80s house. I like Orbital though.

Still listens to Joy Division Apart from the "hit(s)"

From time to time. But i still love the so called "hits".

Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers

Hyberbolic rubbish, aimed at 30 somethings. Only loser type teenagers read this.

I've been a bystander for about a year...was too intimidated to post. God knows why.

Has had sex with around five people -- Much more.

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. -- Sure.

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry --- I'm a med student.

Out of shape --- I'm actually deeply into weightlifting.

In debt/still paying student loans forever --- Nope.

Attended at least one Lollapalooza what is a lollapalooza? --- Always have lived here in El Salvador, Central America... so no.

Born between 1973 - 1979 --- No, born in 1984.

Has a blog --- Sure.

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area --- Sorta.

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion --- Nope.

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously --- Don't even know what that means.

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme --- Nope.

Reads Pitchfork daily --- Nope.

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] --- Definitely.

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. --- I don't like any of the aforementioned bands, but I do like Autechre and early AFX.

Still listens to Joy Division --- No.

Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers --- Well, now that you say it, I agree.

busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever --- Nope.

busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative --- No.

doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing")--- No.

One thing about this question I'd like to point out: it should be shortened Thinks NME these days is rubbish. Originally it was just that, but somebody incorporated Haibun's answer into the question, rendering it sort of confusing, and everybody (myself included) has been repeating this in their responses.

Has had sex with around five people: haha, no one who knows me will be surprised that it is more than that.

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot: yes.

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry: yes, I'm a systems analyst.

Out of shape: no. Muscly, almost no fat.

In debt/still paying student loans forever: no, lots of money.

Attended at least one Lollapalooza what is a lollapalooza? No.

Born between 1973 - 1979: two decades out.

Has a blog: nope, unless you count Freaky Trigger, which is clearly not mine.

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area: yes, London.

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion: good lord no. I wouldn't go to see them if they were playing in my back garden, if I had such. If they tried it, I would call the police.

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously: pay no attention to it at all.

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme: yes.

Reads Pitchfork daily: never.

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women]: yes.

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. Yes - I have just about everything all three ever did.

Still listens to Joy Division: Still have the records (I even saw them live) but it's years since I played them.

Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers: don't particularly go along with the last clause, but I did give it up years ago.

busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever: I like the first two, though 'busts a nut' overstates it, love the third, don't much care about the fourth.

busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative: good grief no.

doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing"): Absolutely not. A large proportion of my favourites (soul, punk, rock & roll, old R&B...) were before then, and I know quite a lot about some of that.

Has had sex with around five people: I forget everything that happened before I got married.

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot: Drinks, no cigs, yes pot.

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry: More and more tangential as time goes by.

Out of shape: Not bad for my age, though far from my athletic prime.

In debt/still paying student loans: Yes/ N/A

Attended at least one Lollapalooza: No.

Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts: Wore Kiss T-shirt at height of punk late 70s. Later jumped on the anti-irony bandwagon.

Grew up in a suburb of a major city: Yes, if Cincinnati counts.

Born between 1973 - 1979: Theoretically, I could have fathered a child during these years. Only in theory!

Has a blog: No.

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area: NYC.

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion: Had enough of 'em in the 80s. Never my idea of a "lively" live band. I liked their records.

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously: Not even when I voted.

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme: Have done a few times.

Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone: No.

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women: Yes, but I'm a sensitive modern guy.

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield: Prefer Ultramarine and Underworld (ducks)

Still listens to Joy Division: Recently for the first time in years.

Thinks NME these days is rubbish: Haven't read it since early 80s.

Busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever: NO.

Alternately, busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative: FUCK NO.

Doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing"): Actually I don't know all that much about music released after 1999. A situation I'm trying to remedy.

Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin: Wrote a few things for Select tho I'm an American, and enjoyed reading it. Never liked Spin.

Has had sex with around five people: way more (i'm a ho)

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot: yes, smoke when I wanna relax, pot every now and then.

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry: nope.

Out of shape: slightly out of shape and lazy.

In debt/still paying student loans: nope

Attended at least one Lollapalooza: nope

Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts: what?

Grew up in a suburb of a major city: Suburb yes, major city not that much.

Born between 1973 - 1979: yep

Has a blog: yep

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area: Middle sized, boring as fuck town.

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion: fuck pixies.

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously: didnt even know that existed until recently. what I did see was as generic as most lists except mine ;)

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme: i'm starting to detest comp cd's with a passion.

Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone: yep, dont always disagree/agree

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women: yep

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield: Not that much of a chemical bros and leftfield fan

Still listens to Joy Division: of course.

Thinks NME these days is rubbish: read it once, never felt the need again.

Busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever: nope

Alternately, busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative: nope

Doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing"): I know everything.

Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin: not familiar with those.

he's a cunt

24-35. Just about 26
Has had sex with around five people. Sorry, slightly fewer.
Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot Drinks yes. Haven't toked the peace pipe in two or three years.
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry. Tangentially to journalism, I guess
Out of shape. A little
In debt/still paying student loans. Free and clear.
Attended at least one Lollapalooza.Nope. I DID go to the Tibetan Freedom Concert one year though.
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. Sure. I have a shirt I wear often that says "Classic Grandpa" in Coca-Cola style script. But I also like it because I actually think of myself as an old man. I also have a pro-abstinance tee-shirt "I'm Worth The Wait" that I've never actually had the guts to wear in public. I'm still in favor of occasional ironic t-shirts, but they should be very carefully selected for content and make up only a small percentage of one's wardrobe.
Grew up in a suburb of a major city Sorry, DC proper.
Has a blog Nevah evah. I dislike "the blogosphere".
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. Jersey City is like all three man.
Has tickets for the Pixies reunion. Never gave two shits about the Pixies. But I was psyched that my friends in The Capitol Years got an opening slot.
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. Couldn't care less about it.
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. Nope
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] Rarely read it.
Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] Uh huh.
Still listens to Joy Division "Still". Nope, more like never.
Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers I've read it like once. I had never heard of NME before I came to this board.
Doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 That's like 75% of what I know about.

My theory is that his place is just really 8 friends signing in with different screennames, going back and forth about music as if they're opinions are actually valid to the outside world. Every so often an outsider will chime in, but I'm convinced the meat of this board consists of the opinions of a small few.

24-35. 44.
Has had sex with around five people. Not even close. Such a slut in the 1990s.
Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot All of that.
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry. Both, though only the former pays.
Out of shape. Fractionally.
In debt/still paying student loans. Good wage, rich partner, sorry.
Attended at least one Lollapalooza. No, and no outdoor festivals, unless you count Oasis at Knebworth.
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. Regularly wear a glow-in-the-dark Camembert Electrique T-shirt to gigs, with some mildly ironic intent. Do not decry them on others.
Grew up in a suburb of a major city. Grew up in dreary village in the arse end of nowhere, nestling in the shade of the local slag-heap.
Has a blog. Yes - regularly updated for the past 5 years.
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. Only during the week.
Has tickets for the Pixies reunion. Saw The Breeders once; that's it.
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. Faintly bemused by all those who do.
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. Rarely, and only as presents.
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] It barely features on my radar. If I want that sort of thing, I'll go to Stylus.
Male Oh, frightfully male.
Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. Yes, but not actively. Fond memories and all that.
Still listens to Joy Division. Still keeps meaning to, like, reallly listen to Joy Division. Never quite gets around to it. Their music hangs over me like an overdue coursework assignment.
Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers. Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that - but I am generationally obliged to mourn its fate, obviously.
Doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979. I tail off before 1969, and splutter to a standstill before 1959.

or am I?

YES -on the liberal side of many issues.
YES -is in college or has a degree.
YES -at least occasionally takes music too seriously.
YES -has traveled more than 4 hours for some musical purpose.
YES -has owned at least 500 cds, cassettes, or lps... but more likely has owned greater than 1000.
YES -is fairly computer literate.
YES -likely to have heard the next big thing before it is the next big thing.
YES -buys or downloads at least 5 records a month.
YES -knows someone at least marginally famous (or knows someone who knows someone.)

^ that profile was the most spot-on for me

...has a beard

and I have a beard.

http://www.blog.mediaprojekte.de/wp-content/wp-filez/rails_bootcamp_peoples.jpg

20, I'm a young'un

Has had sex with around five people.

Unfortunately, no

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot.

Drinks socially, no tobacco, pot, hard drugs

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

The latter, I guess

Out of shape.

Fit as ever

In debt/still paying student loans.

No, but probably soon.

Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

Nope

Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

I don't think so

Grew up in a suburb of a major city.

Ugh.

Has a blog.

I never write in it

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area.

Yeah

Has tickets for the Pixies reunion.

Never heard them

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously.

No

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme.

Nope

Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]

You got me

Male

That is so

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield.

I like the Chembruhs alright. Don't know the other two.

Still listens to Joy Division.

Never heard them

Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers.

Never read it

Doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979.

Fair enough, but I try

I'm good little librul

-is in college or has a degree.

In

-at least occasionally takes music too seriously.

If I didn't, why would I be here?

-has traveled more than 4 hours for some musical purpose.

No

-has owned at least 500 cds, cassettes, or lps... but more likely has owned greater than 1000.

Workin' on it

-is fairly computer literate.

Sure

-likely to have heard the next big thing before it is the next big thing.

I'm always late to everything

-buys or downloads at least 5 records a month.

If I bought only 5 records a month I'd have a lot more money

-knows someone at least marginally famous (or knows someone who knows someone.)

I know Kenny Loggins' nephew