The Worst Band/Artist Ever

My pick is Celine Dion. I'm sure I don't have to convince you of how bad she sucks, but you cannot possibly have any conception of how *unavoidable* she is here in Québec. Every last sneeze and fart from her or her husband makes the damn front page of all the newspapers and magazines. It's hugely embarrassing. My apologies on behalf of the whole province for foisting her on y'all. I hope giving you Leonard Cohen makes up for it.

dull dull dull dull

They are : (in no particular order)

New Model Army

The Mission

The Levellers

Killing Joke.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: when indie rock becomes soap opera soundtracks is when i'll stick with metal.

no kitsch quotient will ever rescue this diabolical pairing.

Everyone other than Killing Joke. EVERYBODY knows that!!

Ah, right. I don't agree, as it happens, but I'm not about to go down the "you obviously haven't heard " route because that can only lead to perturbation and despair.

I found Stevie T's answer a tad more convincing.

Billy Joel, The Eagles, David Frishberg, Loverboy, Journey, Chicago (worst guitar solo- "24 or 6 to 4?) the dreck flows on.

"Everything from Woodstock to the Ramones was pure shit." - Billy Zoom

Something like that.

No contest. Hate them, hate their music, hate their fans.

Complaining about Blink 182, or Celine Dion or Backstreet Boys feels to me like complaining that Jim Davidson's Generation Game isn't Citizen Kane, by their own terms of reference Blink 182 seem pretty good to me in providing a quality product to their target market. I'm not in their target market and find they lack the emotional depth and breadth of cultural commentry I would prefer. But it looks like its fun to be a Blink 182 fan and where is the harm in that? Its all dumb shiney pop music isn't it?

But the gap between what they deliver and what they claim to deliver is much greater for The Manics. Never in, uh, the fabric of rock's rich tapestry has such a shabby second rate product been sold as its direct opposite.

• Music - plodding pub rock. Cast have more sparkle.
• Attitude - Contrived controvesy put to almost criminally ill targeted ends.
• Lyrics - Stupid lyrics are OK (see Ramones) stupid lyrics written by stupid people who are too stupid to be aware of their own stupidity and think they aren't stupid = just stupid.
• Appearance - oh grow up for god sake.

2. U2

p.s. Billy Zoom was guitarist for X.

I once insulted a teacher because she liked Clannad and "Division Bell"-era Pink Floyd, so I suppose those two must go in there, because it took some hatred for me to get over my terror of authority figures.

in the years since mr. sublime's death, his particularly brainless form of party skate-punk mixed with out-of-context ska has continued to fill the minds of those too impressionable to seek out either *real* punk or *real* ska with its nonsense blend of pro-marijuana sloganeering and self-referent boasting.

"he died of heroin you know, that makes the music better".

isn't there an avalanche somewhere for these people to snowboard into?

Worst of all time = REO Speedwagon. There's just nothing redeeming there. Everything is crap.

Adam, you have my sympathy.

1. Lauryn Hill
2. Wyclef
3. Well, I can't say Pras because he sucks, so I'll say "Ready Or Not" instead, which is a KILLER track and one of the best singles that came out that year.

Puddle of Mudd, like Staind before them, do seem to be as ugly as their name. But I stick with Clannad and "Division Bell" Pink Floyd BECAUSE I HATED THEM SO MUCH I INSULTED A TEACHER WHO LIKED THEM

Music & Video Exchange bargain basement some years ago. I thought it might be good for sampling.

i will try to come up with more inspired contributions, but really, you tend to block this sort of thing from memory.

haha *spits coffee all over the place on like a hundred levels*

My picks include: Everything, LFO, Smashmouth, Steve Miller Band

If not, Dave Matthews, for whom my loathing knows no bounds.

And as a side note: FUCK YOU JANET JACKSON.

Christ, innocent days there.

I choose b4-4. Everybody download "Get Down" and you will realize that it is the worst song ever made.

However, when people like Big Brovaz or Blazing Squad or Mel B exist, it's so difficult to pick only one.

And whoever said The Pogues up there is just wrong on so many levels.

also: Boyzone

i have a certain hatred for Geri Halliwell mainly because she is such an odious, supremely irritating person, but her records, even by today's manufactured-pop standards are really quite atrotious.

i also have an aversion, actually it's more akin to a phobia for Mariah Carey's singing. Especially in that video for "Without Me" - all that phoney emoting, all that "look at me! i'm so emotional!". Urghhh!!

Careful, if you say it one more time, you know what'll happen...?

http://www.yoursongscollectibles.com/item-1078.jpg

Not actually sure if these are the worst bands ever but all 3 make me feel physically sick...

Queen - I just don't get it. I mean Radio Gaga is passable (mainly 'cos of Moroder). Other than that their fusion of opera and rock reminds me of the weird kid in school trying to make the hamster and the tortoise mate by pushing them together. Ditto the chilli peppers 'funk rock' while we're on the subject. I like funk and rock but fusing them is incredibly.

Bare Naked Ladies - Just wrong on so many levels. Over sincere vocal - check. Quirky lyrics - check. Clean production - check. Sort of band that gets idolised by dim lads who think this is smart.

Black Eyed Peas - How did they go from Jurassic Five style also rans to this? You've said it all before. My Humps? Least sexy song ever.

Celine Dion - I was so rude once to someone who liked them he never talked to me again. Why is it though that their biggest fans that I meet seem to be corporate drones who in person are inoffensive but you just know at work they have one of those jobs that through an Excel spreadsheet fucks over the lives of millions in third world countries. they never see.

...that was a bit of a rant wasn't it?

UB40 dammit.

Wheatus maybe?

pete yorn

Momus

Sandi Thom.

Bob Pfeifer

Talk about bile. Now I want to hear it just to see what the shouting is all about!

The bands listed in the top 15 current threads qualify as most of my nominees.

Colorado Springs CO must have a really supportive scene

Moby

LOL Wheatus

That Billy Zoom quote about Woodstock/Ramones means he's it-the worst artist ever.

one republic, surely?

The Killers for me at the moment. Off goes the radio when they come on.

Whoa -- what did Billy Zoom say about the Ramones?

I feel like Jeff Buckley deserves at least one mention here, so he doesn't feel left out. (Not saying he's necessarily the worst musical artist ever, but he's worse than anybody else I just saw nominated during a quick skim of the thread.)

This from a man who owns several Teen Marie albums.

Hey, I just own one. (And that's one more than I own of Jeff's.)

Zoom apparently said all music between Woodstock and the Ramones was shit. Those happen to be my favorite years in all of music.

Zoom apparently said all music between Woodstock and the Ramones was shit. Those happen to be my favorite years in all of music.

Yeah, that's a bit of an ridiculous generatlization. And Billy Zoom is a creepy Christian zealot, but still --- he's Billy Zoom. He wrote the riff to "Hungry Wolf." I'll let it slide.

Teena Marie should be slapped with a fish.

Teena Marie's too irrelevant to be the worst anything.

What? "Behind The Groove" is amazing!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/Chinatown.jpg

The Killers?!?!?!?1 come on

LEAVE IT JAKE

Teena Marie's too irrelevant to be the worst anything.

Well that's the case with just about anything shitty, innit ain't it?

I was just reading the GG Allin thread and although the word "worst" when referring to Allin is just a few shades deeper than it is when referring to Teena Marie, you could say the same thing about GG Allin.

Anyone who really sucks is gonna be so cult that they are a priori irrelevant; anyone popular enough to be relevant has a large group ready and willing to explicate why they didn't, after all, suck that much.

Therefore, nobody sucks, or at least, nobody sucks the most.

Interesting theory. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Razorlight perhaps?

The guy who said Train about 5 years ago may be the winner.

creed are pretty indefensible. they were just so unnappealing in every way. same with staind. and probably nickelback too, but luckily i haven't heard enough of them to judge accurately.

bush wrote the worst lyrics of any rock band ever in history. and they weren't just bad, they were mind-blowingly bad. i actually have to give them some kind of credit for writing so many incomprehensible songs that are some nightmare hybrid of grunge/industrial rock/nu metal songwriting.

I've had the misfortune of hearing Nickelback a bunch at my gym. They epitomize mediocrity, I can't even say they're bad.

I think you're all forgetting a little song called "Rockstar".

boomtown rats

fratellis

hahahahahaahahahah this thread should get bumped every time someone babbles on about the golden days of ILM full of reasoned critical analysis

fucking vampire dickweed weekend

tonic for the troops is a great album. so, boomtown rats can't be the worst ever. whatever they sounded like later.

John Justen = OG Cash Sitta

fucking vampire dickweed weekend

-- banriquit, Monday, April 28, 2008 4:11 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

how did morbius get nrq's log-in?

Let's wait and see if he starts slagging off Judd Apatow.

Ben's Brother
Simple Plan

Alanis Morissette

Chicago, VERY easily. And Coldplay if inoffensiveness = the worst.

oh come on, chicago? chicago had some great songs. you can't be the worst ever and have good songs.

25 or 6 to 4 is a jam!!!!!!!

marching band classik.

I like the Jeff Buckley mention.

three days grace, seriously...

bush prolley comes in 2nd, puddle of mudd 3rd, tho i'll have to check on the moody blues, there actually seems to be something legitimate there...

sublime and the doors DO NOT SUCK

http://tencc.fan-site.net/10worukr7.jpg

Off the top of my head: Alien Ant Farm

nrq you nutter boomtown rats had at least one good song.

jeff buckley is indeed worse than 99 percent of the ppl mentioned here.

creed are pretty indefensible. they were just so unnappealing in every way. same with staind. and probably nickelback too, but luckily i haven't heard enough of them to judge accurately.

Puddle of Mudd is way worse than Creed. And I'm sure a lot of the year of nu-metal Ozzfest second stagers like Spineshank and Apartment 27 blow way worse.

Jeff Buckley sucks and all, but he's not worse than Wheatus.

Apartment 26 and Spineshank were some of the better nu-metal bands. Insane Clown Posse, on the other hand...

Boomtown Rats had at least three good albums (and two great ones).

Nickelback have at least two good songs. And right, Chicago have a couple more than that.

So yeah, Jeff Buckley is still winning.

http://images.google.com/url?q=http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/adc/10006658A~Insane-Clown-Posse-Posters.jpg&usg=AFQjCNHT0fHHhN5jBJoAivm17V_s4kcOmw

to be fair, i think the worst band ever should be pretty well-known. just cuz if you start listing horrible nu-metal bands or whatever, where would you stop? although puddle of mudd might be way more popular than i know. that's why i think of creed. they were huge and they were OH SO bad. same with bush. even icp strike me as more of a niche/cult thing. it's like if you started naming the most horrible jam bands or ska bands, etc, etc. it's bottomless.

How can Chicago be the worst band ever when they made "Street Player"??

you stop when you hit the worst one

i never hated jeff buckley. i love his dad. i never owned any jeff records though. he did inspire a good katatonia cover, so that's one thing in his favor. lots of metal bands like katatonia LOVE jeff buckley.

Seriously, someone just name a band worse than Wheatus.

"you stop when you hit the worst one"

yeah, but they are all kind of the worst in the same way. who infected the most people with their suckiness, that's what you have to ask yourself.

i only know the dirtbag song by wheatus. i didn't mind that. worse than wheatus? i don't know. green jello? dread zeppelin? i have a slickee boys album that is TERRIBLE. maybe i would like wheatus more than the slickee boys.

i still get nu-metal stuff in the mail in 2008 and it's all so bad that you can't even hear it when it's playing. it's like having the vaccuum cleaner running.

who infected the most people with their suckiness, that's what you have to ask yourself.

Then the answer is Lynyrd Skynyd probably.

oh whiney!

i would say the amount of bad southern rock i had to listen to growing up is way more awful than the bad lil stapps running around

and the guitar solos, scott. the endless fucking guitar solos.

neeer nernener neeeeer nenenenenenenererrrrr nenene woooooow

i can't think of a single rock band playing today that is as good as lynyrd skynyrd.

i still get nu-metal stuff in the mail in 2008 and it's all so bad that you can't even hear it when it's playing. it's like having the vaccuum cleaner running.

SO OTM. I've mentioned this before, but there's a nu-metal band with one song where the singer shrieks/screams "I'M DOING THE BEST I'VE EVER DONE!; I'M DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN!; NOW GO AWAY!," or words to that effect. That band, whoever they are, might get my vote for worst ever(admittedly, Creed is hard to beat in this category, tho).

Insane Clown Posse have a bunch of gold and platinum records/videos. They have a huge cult following, yes, but once you go platinum you count as popular.

but who as actually ever heard ICP!

go out on the street and ask the first 50 people you see if they have heard ICP. i'll bet they haven't! ask the first 200 hundred people for that matter.

well, they won't admit it probably. and if they are fans they will be under a bridge somewhere and not walking down the street like a person.

i can't actually bring myself to listen to them. i watched youtube stuff for a while and i got bored really quick.

So yeah, Jeff Buckley is still winning.

I don't think I've ever heard Jeff Buckley before. So when he got a few mentions here, I listened to a few songs on Hype Machine. The songs were hookless and deadly dull.

I don't know, I feel like the worst band ever is the worst band ever. There's no caveat to the thread saying that it has to be the worst artist that's had a hit song (although I'm sure that that threat exists somewhere on ILM). It's hard to argue that Insane Clown Posse AREN'T the worst band ever, from the look to the music to the fans.

Although Limp Bizkit are certainly contenders for the worst band that has had hit songs.

Haha. Insane Clown Posse had a disc debut in the Top Five. That makes the album a "hit," I guess.

Insane Clown Posse is at least fun. Which is more than you can say for like The Clientele

Plus they talk about fucking beehives on like four songs.

Which is more than you can say for like The Clientele.

Oh stop.

still the moody blues. or blues traveler. or another band somehow blues-related.

"I don't know, I feel like the worst band ever is the worst band ever. There's no caveat to the thread saying that it has to be the worst artist that's had a hit song"

yer right, but everyone could say that they saw the worst folksinger ever at a coffeehouse or open mic night or the worst opening band ever and they would all be right. you have to draw the line somewhere. more popular examples are more fun.

a case could be made that that youtube band that everyone loves is the worst. the southern one. you know the one. the creepy guy with one tooth who can't sing. and by being the worst they do kinda transcend all laws of time and space and become brilliant somehow.

the moody blues had true moments of greatness! and blues traveler are nowhere near as bad as creed. i could probably listen to an entire ICP album more easily than a creed album.

i remember creed as being like a muscly pearl jam. also i still hear that moody blues song i was complaining about 6 years ago about twice a week.

I think this is all about value. The worst artist is the one that is worth hating. And admittedly fluid concept - worthy to whom? Nevertheless, to that end, I offer my thoughts on Coldplay and/or Chicago as worst band worth hating here:

http://bozelkablog.blogspot.com/2006/12/worst-band-in-world-worth-hating.html

How can Chicago be the worst band ever when they made "Street Player"??

The ONLY worthwhile thing they recorded. But The Bucketheads' "The Bomb! (These Sounds Fall Into My Mind)" has rendered it irrelevant.

Whiney, I grew up in Virginia in the late 70's/early 80's. I had Skynyrd shoved down my throat at every opportunity. Today, to me, they are still vastly better than 90% of the crap from that era that's out there. Find a better target.

I would also defend Chicago. I think Creed are serious contenders here.

I should probably amend that to "... POPULAR crap that's out there..."

there's a nu-metal band with one song where the singer shrieks/screams "I'M DOING THE BEST I'VE EVER DONE!; I'M DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN!; NOW GO AWAY!," or words to that effect. That band, whoever they are, might get my vote for worst ever

Godsmack

(they are also republicans, which further makes them terrible)

also, i would like to nominate Coal Chamber

http://www.coaldark.blogger.com.br/Coal%20Chamber.jpg

OH OH ALSO I FORGOT:

ADEMA

aka, band that used to have Jon Davis from KoRn's half-brother/half-cousin or some shit as the lead singer:

http://www.earache.com/bands/adema/navigation/band.jpg

all this buckley hate saddens me.

I'm still sticking with one republic. maybe the script.

"Tim Fluckey."

"Dave De Roo."

"Fodey O'Doe"

tim fluckey! come on.

The Killers?!?!?!?1 come on

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 28 April 2008 20:38 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Hahahaha, well, every time, EVERY TIME I go into a supermarket or whatever, they're playing the killers' sucky music over the pa, and I'm so fucking sick of hearing it. (their publishing company must have done some kind of mega-deal, I dunno) Yeah there's probably way worse bands (Creed, as mentioned above a good choice) but if there was one band right now where if you took all copies of their records, gathered them together in one place and vaporised the lot of them then it would make me slightly happier, it would be the killers. I wish they'd never existed.

I must have a charmed life: No music seems to be inescapeable.

I bought the Killers' "Sams Town" AT A BOOT SALE! Haha! for £2! With a paper label that the ink hadn't dried on! HAHA! AND I NEVER PLAYED IT!

Take that, you so called Killers!

oh god coal chamber

i actually owned a cd by them

It makes me cry to see the Slickee Boys nominated. Somebody must defend them - they were great!! Life of Pi and 'Uh Oh - No Breaks are both solid new wave/punk, and Kim Kane is an awesome guitarist. There's usually a gimmicky song or two, and maybe they got bad later, but I often see those two for cheap. I think you'd like 'em Scott! Unless indeed one of these is the terrible album you mentioned. But I'm guessing/hoping not.

Here's a great Slickee performance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTPpGz8SXd0 And check out those outfits!

Fuck Nico, and the horse she rode in on.

Worst band ever as of today: The Kooks.

I'd nominate KT Tunstall. Grade A mediocrity, which is worse than being bad.

I was also quite surprised to see Scott hating the Slickee Boys! Although I haven't heard their later stuff either.

I fucking hate the Kooks. Challops, I know.

Whiney's choices here are the most ridiculous ones.

"Teenage Dirtbag," the only Wheatus song I (or 99.99999 % of other humans) have ever heard, is more entertaining than most songs than get high scores on paperthinwalls. Maybe their other stuff is a lot worse, but it's not like anybody will ever actually hear it, so I'm not sure why it's worth mentioning.

Lynyrd Skynyrd, like Scott said, are better than any rock band currently making music. Or any band in any other genre currently making music, for that matter. Maybe even any band in the past 25 years etc.

I think I only ever heard one Slickee Boys single, and it wasn't that bad, I don't think. I'm not sure why they'd be any worse than, say, the Fleshtones or whoever, but I'm sure Scott could explain in an amusing way why they are, if asked.

The Moody Blues had a handful of great songs, most of which were somewhat famous, so not them either.

ICP seem like the best choice, given their prolific output and the fact that lots of people have seemed to consistently actually pay money for it over a long period of time. (I don't think it should matter that much that nobody else has heard them -- their cult is big enough to put their CDs on the upper levels of Billboard's charts. And also, these days, pretty much every band is a cult band.) I did see a video by them on the Box once that made me laugh a little ("Chicken Huntin'"), but that was before I'd heard of them or knew who they were.

I heard a Creed song on MTV once that I didn't hate, too (sounded like halfway not-horrible radio metal), but they're probably a good choice, too. Though I doubt they're that much worse than Pearl Jam.

I actually found Adema's hits more tolerable than Korn's, but that's just me. If anything, they seemed better than the average gnu-metal type radio band.

Maybe somebody should do a Creed vs ICP (which band is worse?) poll. Just don't say it was my idea.

Well, three months ago I woulda automatically said Skrewdrlver, despite having never heard 'em. But I finally checked out (did not buy) their "pre-nazi" debut and it's not bad. So I'll say ALL MUSICIANS ARE JUST FINE AND WE SHOULD THANK THEM ALL except for Michael Bolton.

John Mayer doesn't deserve any thanks, either.

"Fools Game," off of Bolton's first '80s solo album I believe, was actually a super catchy early '80s Bryan Adams style hard pop single. (I wouldn't have believed that either, except Axel Rudi Pell covered it last year, and I was surprised how much I liked it.) Don't think I've ever heard Bolton's (then Bolitin's) pre-solo band Blackjack, but a couple guys in the band went on to play with the Good Rats and Pat Travers, which are possibly a couple points in their favor. (He did a couple mid '70s solo LPs as Michael Bolitin, too; not sure if those are bad.)

what are these good moody blues songs? i am curious now.

ALL MUSICIANS ARE JUST FINE AND WE SHOULD THANK THEM ALL except for Michael Bolton.

Oh, yeah! MICHAEL BOLTON.

Michael Bolton is really bad.

Bolton backwards is Notlob. That's pretty cool.

I'd like to put in a word for Dream Theater, though I'm sure someone here will defend them. To me it's all bad: silly lyrical themes, silly operatic vocals, silly noodly solos, silly chops obsession, silly artwork: all that silly, and still no fun.

what are these good moody blues songs? i am curious now

Cold-hearted Homer ditching his wife
While ancient Ned runs for his life
Chips of red, and blue, and white
But we decide, we...
Can the poems, it's arse-whupping time
I want fatty

?!?

what are these good moody blues songs?

I like:

"Go Now!"
"Tuesday Afternoon"
"Ride My See-Saw"
"Question"
"Nights on White Saddles" (or whatever it's called)
"Your Wildest Dreams"

That's more than a handful! (Might like "The Voice," too; need to relisten to that one someday.)

Dream Theater are pretty dreadful, but entertaining in their way in their ludicrous music-as-athleticism OTT-ness.

Oh god, that's for sure. And for anyone who hasn't read it, this thread is a joy:

John Petrucci brings you...ROCK DISCIPLINE (a picture thread if the pictures can fit)

But most especially the legendary review of said DVD. A sampling:

Left Hand Technique: Legato Playing
Exercising the left hand with hammerons and pulloffs. Some of it kinda sounds like "Eruption".
I forgot to mention that he is filmed with a purple lens filter for much of this. it really brings out his choadliness.
He wants us to massage ourselves again cuz now it's time to put it all together and shred!.
He makes like Steve Vai at the end of Crossroads for a few minutes, then plays some shit slow for a while, finally showing us again how fast A REAL ASSHOLE LIKE HIM can play it! Some VH tapping in there as well...

This is still one of the greatest "Hi, I'm a fucktard!" images anywhere:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00006L57W.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

another good Moody Blues tune is "Lovely To See You Again".

i have no idea why i brought up the slickee boys. hardly the worst band i've ever heard. i only had one album. the one on twin/tone. uh oh no breaks. i just remember really not liking it. but i probably liked it more than the scruffy the cat album i owned once.

moody blues had some GREAT albums. and they made some truly beautiful music. great pop. great prog. great psych.

UB40!

Dream Theater have some amazing albums and songs! You people are crazy. Yeah, they have their share of bloated material, but they know how to really nail the balance between musicianship and emotion, especially on the first few albums. These guys, on the other hand:

http://www.skratchmagazine.com/bandimages/int-0610-deadsy.jpg

Shaggs. Anyone who says they like them forced themselves to just to be weird.

I would also vote for Lenny Kravitz.

This is still one of the greatest "Hi, I'm a fucktard!" images anywhere:

my favorite part: the patches on his sleeves that say DESTROY

And then I would also vote for any funk-metal band. Is there anything worse than funk metal?

I'm not convincing in my Chicago = Worst Band Ever campaign. Come on, y'all. It's GOTTA be Chicago. Apart from "Street Player," what ARE their good songs?

Who else is there really? Blood, Sweat & Tears? But they weren't as much of a menace as Chicago.

Jeff Buckley? Hideous. But he wasn't around long enough to really count.

Styx? Too grotesque to be the worst. And "Mr. Roboto." And one of their albums (something like Paradise Theatre) had a funky oil spill on the vinyl.

.38 Special? Molly Hatchet? xhuxk, gorge, scott, etc. would not let that stand.

ELP? Not around these parts.

The Kind? Only Chicagoland folk remember them.

Jefferson Starship/Starship? This is a serious contender, esp. if ignoring The Airplane counts.

But Starship <<<<<<< Chicago? But Starship serves the purpose of knocking down the 1960s counterculture a peg. What purpose did (do?) Chicago serve?

Chicago > A slate of faceless, shieking, tuneless, knuckleheaded nu-metal bands. "Funk metal," too, to the extent that's different from nu-metal.

"We Can Fly." It's awful. I'd transcribe some lyrics but you would go blind upon reading them.

Very hilarious.

GOTTA be Chicago. Apart from "Street Player," what ARE their good songs?

I always had a soft spot for "America's Calling, Harry Truman" myself. But seriously: "25 Or 6 To 4," "I'm A Man," "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is," "Old Days," maybe even "Saturday In The Park" and "If You Leave Me Now" and "Wishing You Were Here"....That's more non-horrible songs right there than 95 percent of the bands who've ever lived.

I'd also like to nominate Foo Fighters - if they've ever made a song that doesn't kind of suck, I can't remember hearing it.

Yeah, Foos are a good choice. (If not the worst band ever, then quite possibly the most overrated one.)

i love baby what a big surprise by chicago. it's really beatlesy. power pop people should love that song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oda-ClZ5wlI

Ok I blitzkrieged through the thread.

ICP doesn't count cuz at least you can get a decent academic paper out of them.

Michael Bolton doesn't count cuz without him, we never would have had Jim Carrey's genius "When A Man Needs A Big Hit" from In Living Color. Also, John Leland like him, called him "my man" in Newsweek.

Celine Dion doesn't count cuz she inspires reams of fascinating debate. And the Jim Steinman track was pretty good. And no doubt Michael Freedberg could put together a fine CD of her nuttier French tracks. And there was an unnaturally beautiful boy with glasses in one of her videos (something like "And That's The Way It Is").

I really think the worst band/artist has to have been around for a while to truly make a negative impact. That's why none of the 1990s/Aughties alt and nu-metal mentioned counts. Gawd, does even Train's mom remember them?

Other possibilities I didn't see mentioned:

Wet Wet Wet
Enya
Yanni (although even there, some cornball comes through...plus I could kinda imagine him going poo; Enya, by contrast, effaces her pooing necessity)

John Tesh?

I'm still sticking with Chicago.

plus I could kinda imagine him going poo;plus I could kinda imagine him going poo;plus I could kinda imagine him going poo;plus I could kinda imagine him going poo;plus I could kinda imagine him going poo;plus I could kinda imagine him going poo;plus I could kinda imagine him going poo;plus I could kinda imagine him going poo;plus I could kinda imagine him going poo;plus I could kinda imagine him going poo;

foo fighters are terrible. boring. pointless. bland. vague.

but probably not the worst.

"25 Or 6 To 4" is ruined by Peter Cetera's voice (or whatever robot was standing in for him in the studio that day). And the harmonies in the chorus are harmful to the environment.

And as with "Street Player," so with "I'm A Man." We don't need their version. I much prefer Macho's anyway.

All the other songs mentioned are very bad.

Man, you guys are weird. Foo Fighters have some really good songs. Not the best band ever, certainly, but I think you could put together a respectable best of package for them.

foo fighters are bullshit

The ability to imagine an artist going poo is important in rock 'n' roll.

Your well reasoned argument has swayed me, Omar Little.

Greatest band/artist ever: Cephus and Reesie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AdblS6Y3iI

I was right about the Manics, but I think I over estimated how long they would be around (I know they are still around, technically, I meant.. um relevantly).

who was that Kath guy in the C.T.A. Does he count and is he enough to keep Chicago from not becoming that big black hole of suckiness designate "Worst Band Ever"? Stay tuned.

We really need a "Most Average Band/Artist Ever" thread. Seems like we'd be twice as likely to arrive at some kinda consensus. Mathematically speaking

but most bands are average! you'd be here all night.

But then the answer would be definitive!

My vote: Average White Band!

I just remembered Amateur Transplants. The UK's answer to Weird Al, but my god probably ten fucking million times worse than you could even begin to imagine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9tWpR5HZnQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq0lUjajjlM

warning: they're the biggest cunts ever

the worrying thing is that these hateful fucking smears of shat liquid were a relatively 'big hit' with the medic crowd at university, leaving me to wonder if all doctors are cunts, or just students

i can't think of a single rock band playing today that is as good as lynyrd skynyrd.

― scott seward, Monday, April 28, 2008 10:42 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is still true today, assuming of course Scott meant pre-plane crash Skynyrd

Elbow

Mean Machine

P.S. I agree with most of this thread, but not pre-post-Richey Manics, he was an unbelieveably GOOD lyricist, even if the music didn't always match their quality.

Scouting For Girls are the worst band ever. I honestly can't think of one worse.

seriously, listen to what I just posted (or don't)

I guess the argument would be that SFG aren't being deliberately offensive in the service of bants, but this is possibly what redeems them (in such a context)

i.e. they're just fools, not cunts

Amateur Transplants seem more like terrible stand up comedy in musical form rather than a band as such, they are certainly more reprehensible than anyone else mentioned on this thread, though

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Parody_musicians

The Lancashire Hotpots are a comedy folk band[1] from St Helens, Merseyside (formerly part of Lancashire), England, formed in December 2006.[2] The group record songs about Lancashire, technology and British culture (e.g. "Chippy Tea", "He's Turned Emo", "eBay Eck").[3] Their songs make use of Lancashire dialect. Their first single, "He's Turned Emo", gained over 230,000 plays on MySpace (as of 17 March 2008) and was featured on BBC Radio One by Colin Murray.[4]

The current members are Bernard Thresher (vocals, guitar, ukulele, drums), Dickie Ticker (accordion, mandolin, melodica, hand percussion), Bob Wriggles (bass guitar, acoustic bass), Billy McCartney (keyboards), and Kenny Body (drums),[6] the latter two joining following the death of founder member Willie Eckerslike.

this is a one-way ticket to hell, or the shirehorses, whichever comes sooner

Oliver Callan (born 27 December 1980) is an Irish vocal and performance satirist and impressionist known for featuring on Nob Nation, Green Tea and The Saturday Night Show

His impersonations of Eamon Dunphy and David Norris led to a warning from the Broadcasting Commission of Ireland (BAI) in July 2008. The BAI deemed his impersonations "offensive to homosexuals" and said they "promoted binge drinking".[7]

For example, in 1990, following the execution of Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceauşescu, Russell did a parody song on his show to the tune of "Chattanooga Choo-Choo." ("Pardon me, boys / Are you the cats who shot Ceauşescu / You made my day / The way you blew him away.")

Eläkeläiset mainly play cover versions of famous pop and rock hits in a fast humppa or slow jenkka style (both sound somewhat similar to polka music the way "Weird Al" Yankovic plays it) with Finnish lyrics — the original songs are barely recognizable. They also publish bootleg recordings of their own concerts.

Eläkeläiset are very popular among some OpenBSD developers and frequently played at their hackathons, where they claim they are "thwarting evil with humppa and math."[1]

^^ the science student / prolific wikipedia contributor appeal of this stuff is clearly cross-cultural

Richard Cheese is the other one who was very popular at university. think he's slightly, but only very slightly, less egregious than some of the others

CORRECTION

The worst band ever is Sugar Ray (the reason is Mean Machine)

YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THIS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gjb7UD7jPqM

...rolf harris

but seriously

...holf rarris

sut beriously

The Canadian band with the really deep voiced singer who sang something like "once....there was a boy who......" or some crap like that. Thats the worst band of all time. THe name escapes me

you must be thinking of the crash test dummies. this is one of the funniest videos ever:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoaIBDKUYcA

no wait, it's actually sad and i feel bad for posting it

youtube user Aman Offaith agrees:

1 month ago
Then recording artist is skillful, and his voice has got a lot better over time. But this is such a sad song, and I am concerned about Brad Roberts. I do not want to see him die in his sins. If he does not ask Jesus into his life and live and trust him I am terrified for this person. He is smart, but not wise enough to find God yet through Jesus.

http://www.lyricsmania.com/london_underground_song_lyrics_amateur_transplants.html

assuming that ^this didn't hit LJ's radar during his brief root around the Amateur Transplants' catalogue

It's like God realised Ben Elton wasn't quite bad enough and made another