Alexis On Fire

Dreamy.

http://www.theonlybandever.com/

*Alexis Corner with added Worzel ingredients*

In decreasing order of annoyance:

1. Worzel, just fuck off and die you racist cunt.

2. Granted, Super Furry Animals full stop hardly make my pulse race, but Petridish has clearly made no New Year resolution to mend or change his ways - why should he, since having a go at "weird old records" is (a) his stock in trade and (b) the type of "writing" which wins awards because when all is said and done stupid people just want to read things which reinforce and flatter their prejudices rather than challenge them?

3. Django Bates groupie attempts yet another apology for past Stalinist crimes.

In next week's shit-packed issue: John Harris explains why the Jews were the worst thing ever to happen to music.

It's all very well to try the "ooh controversy" schtick, but for that to work you've got to have good arguments and knowledge of the subject. Jeez, my Granny knows more about funk than Worzel!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Harris_%28critic%29

ha

Maybe I dreamed it.

Stylus - you're getting above yourself.
Remember where you came from.

Haha, yes Marcello, although "employee" is hardly the word.

many xps!

x-post amelodic and doesn't crack many smiles is not indicative of most pop music, Alex!

hurrah, had 'em next to each other! 13 and 14.

for the record my favourite hip-hop album of last year was TI.

eh? i've never heard of prefuse73. my favourite hip-hop album - indeed my favourite album full stop! - of 02 was trina's diamond princess. i would give clipse 4 stars.

Stylus hip hop reviewers are THICKER PLANKS

Newsflash for Rip Van Winkle - Kurtis Blow might be doing a tour!

Play this on Radio 1 instead of curvaceous tongue up arse of imperialist Jay-Z - Westwood are you LISTENING?

lord willin was out about two years before that in the US nick.

That thing where you provide three examples in a list, but the third one is slightly unexpected and thus hilarious: classic or dud?

Payola scandal?

lol at comments box smackdown

Marcello, you know i got love for you, but you're never going to come up with a Guardian writer pwn as hard as this.

Platinum selling Missouri rapper Chingy gives good Bounce (a speciality of Southern states hip-hop that, well, sounds very bouncy) so good in fact he's built a platinum selling career on it

"Poor Paulo, if only James Blunt had never happened then perhaps people wouldn’t be in the closet about liking his stuff. His dribbly Italian good looks and his hard drinking Scottish sentiment made for a fine debut in These Streets, and he deserves to have an open fan base over the age of 14."

That must have taken her all night to think up.

you can take that to the bank.

Based on my first play of the album yesterday I think I basically agree with this, I can hardly think of a band with a bigger gap between what gets written about them and what I'm actually listening to

http://f.chtah.com/i/3/393014825/ofm_jan07_cover.jpg

i mean: oh, nick. how could you?

http://www.mcdonalds.com.my/images/ChilinOut/ronald/rn_grimace_r.jpg

The Cooper Temple Clause's first two albums were very, very good, but the latest is so jaw-droppingly awful, so rote, so bafflingly unoriginal, that it makes me want to dick my own head hollow.

Worzel reaps what he sows, and all that.

-- Hell Hath No Furry (lackofinteres...), February 2nd, 2007.

Also, Lex doesn't like the Lady Sovereign album.

jazz-funk?

If she has "been sexing" on several occasions this chicken of hers which she already knows to be male, then perhaps legislation should be enacted to limit her rights of access.

Besides, 'When Love...' is the worst track on Steve McQueen.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JRfve3wHYUY

1983, actually.

ANOTHER CRAP WRITER IN THE GUARDIAN. SOON WE WILL STOP BEING SURPRISED !

Good Lord. What a wanker ! [Guardian Unlimied] I have a picture in my head of Alexis Petridis, writer for the Guardian - shall I share it with you ? In my mind he looks like a nasty, grubby, spotty, unusually ignorant 15 year old creep, who is foolish enough to think he has one thousanth of the talent, or the courage, of someone like Mika, writing a facile piece of attempted artistic assassination, as if he's trying to prove he has teeth in a 6th form magazine. The Guardian really needs to get some writers who know what they are talking about.

Mr. Petridis ? Your 'review' of Mika? Utter rubbish. You just don't get it. Any of it. Go away and get a life, preferably not in journalism. Try to learn the tambourine.

Cheers
Bri

Brian May also bringing it to the doorstep of Drowned In Sound as well! I do hope my diss of the Mika album gets me put in similar illustrious company.

OTM. I've got Big Al's back on this one.

Good Lord!

lol desperately trying to get people to look at him
lol failing

Then I rerad that a mere hour and a half later he was due to perform in/on Berkeley Square. Nervous exhasution ahoy, poor chap.

I am reading Alexis P on the Kaiser Chiefs:

http://music.guardian.co.uk/rock/alexispetridis/story/0,,2003575,00.html

I think I'm warming to them even if they're just microwaved britpop.

Actually a pretty good article, although why he thought the Horrors should be considered authorities I don't know.

different take on the old 'if anyone else likes it, it's a bonus'.

I think I ALEXIS had he bothered to research anything would have found that Meek's active recording career lasted for a dozen years - 1954-66 - rather than three (xpost x 2).

You're only saying that because they're from Leeds!

-- Neil Stewart (neil_stewart4...), February 7th, 2007. (Neil Stewart) (later)

It's because their buzz has died down significantly over the past few months and they need to get their name out there again. I'm pretty sure if Petridis was writing an article on the genius of Cypress Hill they have "just happened" to have covered "Hits From The Bong".

HI ALEXIS.

original

^^ never gets old ^^

(memo to self: find time this weekend to write more CoM stuff)

Wa-hey! It's icon-kicking time again!

This feels kinda stupid to say, but a lot of those seem kinda ... obvious? "The Strokes are fake-punk rich kids" is surely as predictable / boring as the Strokes themselves could ever aspire to be.

Funny, though: from an American perspective it is still really weird to me to think of the Stone Roses as connected to a "thug" culture or being perceived as in any way hard or laddish -- just listening to the music itself, outside the culture, that LP might as well have been a Lightning Seeds record.

from a british perspective it's funny to see the stone roses as all that hard! they're not fey obv but they're still wimpy indie boys.

all the popstars otm, all those albums are dreadful, except what mark ronson says about 2pac, i don't think there are words or even emoticons to express my reaction to that

No.

Is this Green having another moan at Rough Trade for promoting Arcade Fire rather than his own album?

Everybody OffTM except Green.

It's depressing that someone of Green's age still considers himself to be engaged in a "battle."

No doubt the various Gerry Rafferty pastiches which make up the last Scritti Politti album are the most venomous of weapons, honest.

I enjoyed Ian Rankin on The Velvet Underground and Nico is not Hi-Fi.

Maybe he was expecting it to be Hard-Fi with lots of slick and jolly songs about cash machines.

Ian Rankin on Robert Johnson:
"The production is terrible! It scratches and scrapes all the way through! As for Johnson did nobody ever tell him about Autotune?"

Ian Rankin on "Heartbreak Hotel":
"Did they record this in the toilet or something? This sounds crude and working class on my top of the range entertainment system. Elvis can't keep in tempo for two bars! Hardly Marillion, is it?"

Some bloke out of The Kooks: I don't get Pet Sounds.
That explains The Kooks then.

"There's a line in Venus in Furs about "ermine furs adorn imperious". Those are four words that should never appear in a rock song and here they are put together"

i would ask why but then i remember that i've heard this guy on newsnight review and knew i never had to read any words he's put together, so fair enough.

Why is dissing VU & Nico the only opinion considered to be 'heathen'?

wow siobghan donaghy's a knobhead. i mean she's not wrong that abba were forced on our generation but still, grow up. "and if we're talking about the reissue"...

also

"Oh, and it's got the worst sleeve of any major album, ever. Feeding time at the zoo? I don't think so."

haha whatta badass

I'm sort of intrigued by Siobhan raising the subject of "Nick Hornby may well say they're part of the canon now," but I suspect it's just the interviewer incorporating his own question into her answer

I mean, VU & Nico wasn't even the best album released by the Velvet Underground in 1967, but still...

Ian Rankin on the Clash:
"White Riot? That sounds racist! Not that I can hear any of the words. He just shouts and burps and the group go too fast. They can master about two of their three chords. It's a pretentious racket which is solely responsible for the guy who asked me for 10p in Morningside yesterday morning and called me a cunt when I advised him to get off his scummy backside and take advantage of Blair's generous New Deal for the long-term unemployed. Give me Supertramp any day! At least they are properly produced!"

In fact, there are 27 tracks on it - it started the trend of putting loads of songs on rap albums.

waaht? Ronson comes across like he's only been into hip-hop for 5/6 years sheesh. don't know why he wouldn't rate Dre's production really (i was never a big fan of 2Pac either tho so...)

Ronson comes across like he's only been into hip-hop for 5/6 years sheesh.

That certainly shocks me.

It's weird, now that distressed t-shirt wearing, trainer collecting hip-hop dudes are _supposed_ to like coke rap and hyphy and blah blah blah, 2Pac is still the only old rap battle they're still allowed to fight.

i read an Em comic about this

it would've been better and more fun to hate on '36 Chambers' yeah

"Hi my badly drawn lesbian friend, do you like 2Pac?"
"I am a lesbian, so I actually like Sarah McLachlan and kd lang"
"I like 2Pac!"
xp

there was an article in the daily mail about how tupac's not very good.

yesterday, i think it was.

you realize the woman who writes cat and girl has turned up on yr diss thread dom?

And?

When Dorian Lynskey and Kanye West posted to ILX I didn't act any different.

Maybe he thought you might appreciate the opportunity to say something creepy to her.

lol @ "kanye west"

all eyez on me was a DOUBLE ALBUM. why would it have only 12 tracks? if he said that album started the trend of rappers making poor double albums he might have a point but even then, there havent actually been that many double albums in hip hop.

all eyez on me IS a bit too long BUT its actually really good. ronson just sounds like yet another NY centric rap snob. yawn.

Ronson's review copy was presumably confiscated by his butler.

Ian Rankin on 2Pac:
"He doesn't even try to sing! What Two-Pack (this isn't the 51st State yet) has to realise is that the principal aim of a piece of music must be to amuse me and sound splendid on my 96-speaker surround luxury stereophonic console. And he must also attempt to write some melodies for his next long player. Perhaps the marvellous Clifford T Ward could assist him."

Ian Rankin is gaye

Incidentally, does this article set some kind of record for the largest disparity between the talent of the writers and the talent of the artists they're slagging off?

Eminem is probably the Dylan of rap, whereas Tupac just sounded like he was whining.

Incidentally, does this article set some kind of record for the largest disparity between the talent of the writers and the talent of the artists they're slagging off?

no, ILM still holds that record arf

Y'know I foresaw that zing even as I was typing, but it's not as funny as As far as introducing the idea of nihilism to rock, the first Doors album, which came out the same year, was far better produced, far darker, and more nihilistic.

I suppose it was, in a TV's Inspector Rebus sense of "nihilism."

I don't care what anyone says but at least Wayne Coyne fucking nailed Nirvana there, son.

His comments were particularly stupid and he's old enough to know better.

Nevermind < In Utero/Bleach = standard stupid & lazy snobbery.

"Attitudinizing?" - er, the fellow killed himself, you didn't know him, you weren't him, so you have no idea how or why he felt so I suggest you shut the fuck up and get back to making some decent records because since Zaireeka you've been useless.

Re-reading his statement, I don't agree with everything. Bleach/In Utero weren't any better, as everything Nirvana recorded was lazy recycled shite.

And the Beatles are just that band who sound like Oasis.

I agree with him about the sleeve, which I never figured out why people thought was so great, but the "legitimised suffering" bit is as bullshit as the meme that it "killed cock rock", really

Because of course musicians should just confine themselves to writing and singing about jolly and happy things, e.g. do you realise that one day you will die.

I used to see the ALEXISONFIRE posters here in Toronto when I worked at Queen and Spadina, and it would catch my eye because my name is Alexis, and I never knew if they were called Alexis on Fire or Alex Is On Fire.. Then I heard them and stopped caring. Which Alexis is the fellow pictured up there?

Alexis Petridis(h), chief music writer and wannabe male model for the Guardian and GQ magazine.

Alexis "Petridis" Petridish, chief music writer for The Guardian and former member of the mid 90s Belle and Sebastian mailing list Sinister.

xp

oh, haha.. I did not connect "Alexis" with "Petridish" and misread, thinking that this thread was for the fellow named Petridish to list his rage.. thank you!

(I'm a cuter Lex. But I suspect The Lex is cuter than me.)

thinking that this thread was for the fellow named Petridish to list his rage

Well, it kind of is

The fucked up thing about the Pet Sounds one is saying claiming that the album's overrated rubbish ... except "God Only Knows," that one's a classic. In what weird universe do you single out one great song from Pet Sounds and then figure the rest is awful? It's like someone serves you a plate of peas and you go "this was one was great, but the others could use some work."

maybe you got it confused with a bit of scampi

Nabisco OTM.

Also the dissing of the Pet Sounds cover. I love that cover. Sure, the photo is a bit cutesy, but at least it's not trying to present the Beach Boys as some bad-ass rock n roll band. What's wrong with feeding animals at the zoo? It's fun! And even if you dislike the photo, the font and those shades of green and yellow constitute a brilliant piece of graphic design.

Ian Rankin - he's a right miserable sod. While at uni I did work experience at the Herald and had to phone up various personalities for their new year resolution. His response? "My new year's resolution is not to have any resolutions." Thanks for that Ian. Of course I added it to the story to show him up for the grumpy git he is.

all eyez on me was a DOUBLE ALBUM. why would it have only 12 tracks?

All Eyez is a QUADRUPLE album.

if he said that album started the trend of rappers making poor double albums he might have a point but even then, there havent actually been that many double albums in hip hop.

there haven't been that many single albums in hip-hop since 1993!

mark ronson "not relating" to 2pac shock revelation.

Maybe someone should shoot Mark Ronson's left nut off so he can relate more.

Do you guys actually like that 2Pac album?

wouldn't rep for every track

Better than: Brand New Second Hand
Not as good as: Awfully Deep

I missed my daughter's first steps in order to get covered in other people's shit with entertainment provided by a twerp who can't be bothered to play the harmonica properly? I've had enough.

;_;

mark ronson slept with michael jackson though.

http://ad-dict.typepad.com/addict/images/abuse2omchennai.jpg

http://arts.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,,2113537,00.html

worst article ever? sight unseen, i'm guessign yes.

Might have worked as an article in the Funday Times

there was interesting article about this in yesterdays guardian

standish? up holland?

shes writing about wigan?

she's from Wigan, or thereabouts.

Meanwhile, somebody's read that Steve Albini article.

http://arts.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,,2113994,00.html

""Bands like Hundred Reasons or the View have not spent money on clothes," says a music industry expert,"

"a music industry expert" = the 17-year-old work experience kid

He's talking about a level a fair bit up from the bands Albini was talking about, in fairness.

lol @ rounding £594,000 down to half a million

So if I'm Harold Wilson, Laura Barton is Mike Yarwood, right?

http://image.blingee.com/images12/content/output/2007/7/2/27798305_2b6d94e0.gif
Build your own Blingee

http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/4457/swashbj9.png

If only there could have been some sort of clue as to the tennis theme

lol blissfully unaware stereotypes

She has such a great turn of phrase and use of the English language does R Swash, you can see why she's such a well-regarded journalist.

lol psyche she fucking sucks

ah, the river lee, tributary of the mighty river darren.

'on the flipside, i also listen to black peoples' music'

Rolling misogynistic woman crit bashing thread 2007

"I managed to catch an episode of the new C4 series Brothers and Sisters last night because usually I am out partying all the time with really glamorous and important people did I mention my cousin plays for Man Utd?"

xpost

YOU KNOWS IT

From our Rose's blog:

I have a copy of the Kings of Leon’s Because of the Times. It might be the best thing they’ve ever done (controversial)

"Aha Shake Heartbreak"'s place in the canon THREATNED by this young upstart!

After reports in the US press that iced up rappers are finally growing a conscience over the human cost of diamonds, here’s the one and only Nelly with proof that the absolute opposite is true.

“So Nelly, what have you been up to over the last few years? It’s been a while since we last heard from you?”
“Well, other than sipping on pimp juice and taking off all my clothes, I’ve been filling my mouth with diamonds. Look!” (opens mouth, bares teeth). Blllliiiinnnng!

http://www.stuff.co.nz/images/300640.jpg

Srsly she gets paid for writing?

Rosie Swash, if memory serves, was the first person to recieve payola to pass off a press release about some short bint with a dumb fringe as journalismdiscover Lily Allen, hence her current "fame"

I shd never have given up on my dream.

"I am reading my boss' new book."

Enticing.

"My Chemical Romance (or MCR as they're known to fans) are proof that dyeing your hair, wearing black eyeliner and bemoaning your fate in life will never go out of fashion, because there will always be 15-year-old girls listening to bands like MCR and saying: "This is just like my life!"

"Putting aside his dreams of working the stand-up circuit ("did you hear the one about Death to Everyone..?"), notorious funny man Bonnie Prince Billy displays his serious side on latest single Lay and Love. Exquisitely minimalist, the prince's vocals harmonise with those of Dawn the Fawn to create a laid back, seductive and haunting piece of work."

DAWN THE FAWN?!?!?!?!

Rosie Swash Rosie Swash Rosie Swash Rosie Swash Rosie Swash Rosie Swash Rosie Swash Rosie Swash Rosie Swash Rosie Swash Rosie Swash Rosie Swash

clearly none of you read rosie swash's cutting diatribe on the guardian blogs about why the glastonbury lineup this year was dissapointing.

Is it any better than Ben Myers' cutting diatribe on the Guardian blogs about why the Concert for Diana line-up was disappointing? As an example of who should have been on the bill he suggests Biffy Clyro. You couldn't make it up.

I know a guy who writes for the Guardian blogs. He has Edan as his Myspace song. You couldn't etc etc.

Edan, Adem...it's so difficult to tell these different types of indie cheese apart.

Adema RIP

Dawn the Fawn is a folk singer who also plays in Faun Fables. She's ace. That's all, on with the snark

"Funnyman" is another one of those newspaper words which is never used in real life; see also madcap, quizzed, other examples plz...

I believe Richard Dawkins, in his latest book, cites Biffy Clyro as evidence that a loving God cannot possibly exist.

"Romp"? I don't say romp very much. "Bed" as a verb.

abandon hope all ye who enter here

"conquests"

"sex act"

I suspect there are quite a few ILxors who have not bedded anyone recently.

"rip-roaring"

I had sex with a girl on day release from a mental hospital the other week. True story.

I didn't realise you were in a mental hospital, Dom.

ILXOR IN MADCAP ROMP

Macclesfield boss Dave Moss

RIP

Alexis Petridis = Old ILM

Reading the list of the world's bestselling albums since the turn of the millennium is not a terribly edifying experience. Judging by global sales figures, what really gets the human race going is thick-necked nu metal (Linkin Park), scented-candle easy-listening (Norah Jones), runny r'n'b slow jams (Usher), mortgage rock (Coldplay) and orthodontically perfect teen pop of such a powerfully disinfectant stripe that you would be better off clipping the CD to the rim of a lavatory than actually listening to it (the soundtrack to High School Musical).

So it is hard not to be slightly buoyed by the unexpected news that the worldwide bestselling album by a female artist of the last 12 months has been Nelly Furtado's Loose, an unequivocally fantastic album. As anyone who has heard his recent solo work can tell you, urban producer Tim "Timbaland" Mosley's genius functions intermittently, but on a good day, he is almost uniquely capable of balancing ineffable pop nous with an intuitive avant-garde sensibility. Furtado clearly got him on a good day.

Quite aside from its quality, there is another way in which Loose differs from previous global bestsellers. Leaving aside High School Musical - which is not really an album so much as part of a masterful exercise in cross-media branding - all the rest are big on earnest authenticity, be it in the form of Linkin Park's loudly expressed angst or Norah Jones's much-vaunted jazz chops.

There is something utterly craven and inauthentic about Loose. Furtado started life as a hippy popstrel, peddling kooky pop-rock. When her second album flopped, she went for a pragmatic sex-kitten makeover. Out went the soul-searching lyrics of the "I've got a skeleton that's deeper than any closet" variety, in came songs called Promiscuous: "I can see you with nothing on,/ feeling on me before you get it on."

Furtado doesn't sound as if she means that when she sings it - she sounds a bit dull-eyed, as if there might be someone in the room with her, with a gun in one hand and a print-out of her last album's sales figures in the other. But listen to Promiscuous - and indeed the rest of Loose, in all its insincere, artificial glory - next to any of its dreary fellow global bestsellers and one thing becomes clear: authenticity is one of the most overrated virtues in rock and pop.

lol at "Fakeness in music is awesome, but High School Musical isn't REAL music so it doesn't count" dichotomy.

Furtado doesn't sound as if she means that when she sings it - she sounds a bit dull-eyed

poptimist hard-on time. maybe she is a robot!!!1!!

in a good way.

I don't think Linkin Park or Coldplay or Usher are all that into authenticity.

But I guess Petridish wants to talk about an authentic inauthenticity which he would deny they possessed.

Linkin Park, Usher, and HSM are all much better acts than Furtado as well.

Unfortunately, if inevitably, he picks the worst possible example to illustrate his third-hant "theory." I gave "Loose" the roasting it deserved in Time Out a year ago. Do try and keep up.

"third-HAND"

third-HANN-d, amirite?

aw, quite a good stab at anti-rockism, if a little late in the day, and if entirely hobbled by the teen pop diss (as dom was the first to point out).

Next week, I ALEXIS tells us about this great new musical craze that's sweeping the country.

Skiffle.

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/arts/2005/07/07/petrid372.jpg

"I remember standing under Byker Bridge in Newcastle with Michael Bradshaw, and Mickey turned to me and saying 'Shirley - don't worry.
As long as you stick to what you believe in Everything you want will come to you'"

Just before Ant and Dec passed us over on the bridge and chortled "WRONG!"

There's this exciting new craze called teenagers versus 50 Quid Men that's sweeping the nation.

Effectively accusing Mark Riley of being a paedophile, or looking like one since we all know it's the same thing, is pretty low even by Petridish's subterranean standards.

Even on a historical level, if Petridish had bothered to do his homework he could have drawn some interesting parallels between ex-Fall schoolboy bassist Riley and Poppy & the Jezebels, but that would have involved proper research and knowledge.

Oh well, a column in the News Of The World awaits (Petridish on Paediatricians: "don't be surprised if you see angry people with placards outside your surgery").

"Making middle-aged people seem weird and uncomfortable and out of place is one of the things that rock music is supposed to be about."

For. Fuck's. Sake.

George Martin to thread

Mark Riley obviously turned down the offer of a GQ column, then.

Petridish better have spent his GQ salary on good lawyers.

He needs to get a fuckin decent night's sleep, man

Perhaps 14-year-old journalistic prodigy Petridish is resentful about having to tuck in at ten-thirty sharp.

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/music/2007/08/hype_springs_eternal.html

There are probably as many threads I could bump with this as there are stars in the sky... but I like this one

Has Kevin Shields stolen McGee's girlfriend or something?

Unfortunately, nobody told Miller that Supernature, their last album, only had one good song - Ooh La La

wow that's an absurd opinion

Where's Doomie when you need him?

And anyway, didn't Supernature do extremely well, at least in the UK?

Didn't The Guardian do this article around six months ago? Except they mentioned Orlando then.

It's bad enough when good producers (Timbaland, Pharrell Williams) indulge in inevitably awful solo projects; now, it seems, the trend is spreading to the indie world. Jacknife Lee has produced albums for Editors, Bloc Party, Snow Patrol and Kasabian - surely the man has inflicted quite enough suffering on the world, you think* - and his fourth solo album sounds like Death in Vegas, circa the late 90s.

Carefully fuzzed-up guitar riffs and rhythms that can't quite let go of big beat are paired with meta-lyrics; Jacknife Lee's eagerness to impress makes him the Calvin Harris of the indie set, and who knew we needed one of those? "I really love it and it's making me money," he drones in a bored monotone. Does he mean it? Is he being ironic? Can you bring yourself to care? The lack of substance on Jacknife Lee is neither here nor there; what grates most is its total lack of style.

*YA BURNT

Artists don't come less indie than Calvin Harris, for sure

Jacknife Lee makes his own records too, who knew! To be fair it is one shit album

Also fuck, I never even liked DIV much but invoking them as an attempted zing here is truly ass backwards

LOL. Classic. Idiotic nonsense as per from Mr McGee, idiotic dogplie in the comments box, incl a kevin shields impersonator, even.

Bursting Off The Backbeat > anything by Compulsion

is it true that goldfrapp have nearly bankrupted mute?

those two top ten hits must've really hurt them.

I'd have thought from royalty payments from strip clubs in movies "Ooh La La" must have earned Mute at least, what, 4 billion dollars.

lol at The Guide putting MIA on the cover. Keep on shootin' for those stars Hattie Collins. Good work with the subtle undercurrent of "Fuck the desi media, proud brave white bloggers had to give this unfortunate girl the leg-up she needed into fame" as well.

Dave Simpson with his finger on the pulse:

Earlier this summer I was on a trip to the seaside in my girlfriend's car when she started to explain the joys of the iPod shuffle. For those unaware - as I was at the time - this is a system that allows your iPod to "randomly" select songs from your collection and play them back, a bit like having a DJ in the car.

Gee, thanks for the heads-up grandad!

Next week, Dave discovers the Pause button.

a bit like having a DJ in the car.

Only not at all really.

Earlier this summer I was on a trip to the seaside in my girlfriend's car when she started to explain the joys of the volume dial. For those unaware - as I was at the time - this is a system that allows your stereo to play songs more quietly or more loudly, a bit like standing nearer to or further away from the band.

Earlier this summer I was on a trip to the seaside in my girlfriend's car when she started to explain the joys of the five-knuckle shuffle. For those unaware - as I was at the time - this is a system that allows you to mimic the furtive excitement of a hurried sexual encounter, a bit like having a BJ in the car.

We were just approaching the seaside in my girlfriend's car when the iPod shuffle began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I'm unaware of this function, maybe you should drive," and suddenly there was a terribly random selection of songs all swooping and screeching around the interior, a bit like having a DJ in the car.

Earlier this summer I was on a trip to the seaside in my girlfriend's car when she started to explain the joys of the function on my Mac that reads out the latest Portsmouth FC news in a robotic voice. For those unaware - as I was at the time - this is a system that allows Harry Redknapp's latest antics to be "spoken" to you in an impersonal and slightly scary voice, a bit like having DJ Martian in the car.

Wondering what Shed Seven, Kula Shaker and Dodgy are up to these days? Look no further!
http://music.guardian.co.uk/rock/story/0,,2188730,00.html

Best quote:

"There was camaraderie between bands that toured together, like us and Oasis, but I always thought Damon Albarn was a wanker," says Priest. "He'd say things like, 'You're looking very psychedelic tonight, Mathew.' I'm from Birmingham. What's that about? He totally puts your back up. But I completely respect the cunt. He's a genius."

It'd be kind of poignant if I didn't want them all to die.

Old Britpop dudes or Guardian music journalists?

Rick Witter might not have smelled of piss but he did take a piss against the jukebox in my stdent union bar, during my first week at university. And at that moment I knew it was going to be a rollercoaster ride from thereon in

Great memories!

'You're looking very psychedelic tonight, Matthew.' I'm from Birmingham. What's that about?

Probably Albarnspeak for 'you look like a fanny tonight, Matthew'.

One of Shed Seven applied for my old job in York and didn't get it. I can sleep safe at night knowing my admin skillz are superior to his.

the petriblingee is my most important contribution to this board.

Freakytrigger OTM:
http://freakytrigger.co.uk/ft/2007/10/tanyas-feminist-crusade-against-shed-seven/

Am I missing much by not reading whatever it is that Tanya Headon writes? I just found that a bit exhausting

Shed Seven were great. Maybe.

would you give blood, if you had any?

Earlier this summer I was on a trip to the seaside in my girlfriend's car when she started to explain the joys of random airport searches. For those unaware - as I was at the time - this is a system that allows us to "randomly" select people from a queue and search them, a bit like being arrested for doing nothing.

little bit of politics

x-posts Headon's schtick is "I don't like music lol!!!!", but that piece is good. She's right to point out that the promoter quoted in the Guardian piece is talking rubbish when he singles out Sleeper and Echobelly as "lacking quality", true perhaps, but compared to the likes of Northern Uproar? Really?

"Through My Window" > all music record by women ever

Am I missing much by not reading whatever it is that Tanya Headon writes?

Not ever.

http://www.myspace.com/northernuproar

AWESOME

She's right to point out that the promoter quoted in the Guardian piece is talking rubbish when he singles out Sleeper and Echobelly as "lacking quality", true perhaps, but compared to the likes of Northern Uproar? Really?

Bitter old cunt promoter confuses quality with popularity shocka

Am I missing much by not reading whatever it is that Tanya Headon writes?

Not ever.

you are missing out greatly by not reading the comments boxes for I Hate Music tho

northern uproar are in need of a drummer

you are missing out greatly by not reading the comments boxes for I Hate Music tho

Man, when I want to read semi-legible screeds from indie kids I just come here.

that's why nu-metal was so great, there were hardly any women involved.

xpost?

when I want to read semi-legible screeds from indie kids I just come here.

i am thinking more of the senile Pink Floyd grandads

There's more senile Pink Floyd grandads on ILM than indie kids.

uh oh

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2007/oct/22/news.blogging

Who will get to the bottom of the slanderous personalities behind "Marcello Carlin" and "Dom Passantino"

Sorry for posting under a covert name here, but I wanted to post on another thread recently without being called a cunt, so I changed and didn't get round to changing back. I'll leave you to your bile now.

-- ithappens, Friday, 19 October 2007 13:44 (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

I emailed the Guardian on Friday to ask about their editors posting unidentified on blog pieces but no response yet. Not that Hann could be bothered to respond to me on the thread where he popped to lambast Dom either tho'.

What other threads has ithappens posted to?

Isn't it about time we had a hen fap forum around here?

-- ithappens, Tuesday, 22 August 2007 11:23 (4 months ago) Bookmark Link

Dom, this is the sort of thing that got you banned last time, cut it out okay.

(There's a post deleted there, for the benefit of anyone else reading)

jokes bruv

Quite without realising it, Kelly Clarkson helped change the course of pop music when she released Since You've Been Gone in 2004. Its blend of power-pop, rock and even grunge was incredibly popular and encouraged everyone from Natasha Bedingfield to Maroon Five to the Sugababes to borrow riffs from previously ignored genres. OK, I didn't say this was a wholly good thing, just that it shifted the course of popular music. Jeez. And I also said that Clarkson did this without realising it, because I've never been convinced that the former American Idol winner has ever understood what made her or her defining hit so good. She didn't write SYBG, and here she is three years later releasing a watered-down version in the hope that it will be popular. She hasn't even bothered to think of a new concept for the video. Clarkson tried to have us believe she was punk, but Don't Waste Your Time just has me convinced she's no different from any other spoiled pop princess lacking in imagination.

Laura Barton?

it's good but it's not right.

swash

She tried to add me as a Facebook friend the other day. What's all that about?

Shit like that will make you believe that Petridis is the best music writer in the UK.

In other news, this week's The Knowledge contains a question answered by me (the one about the Trofeo Birra Moretti, unsurprisingly), and quotes the majority of my e-mail to them, but hilariously omits my name entirely. I must be chopped liver all over Farringdon, Rosie Swash's gaming of me notwithstanding.

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/music/2007/11/alan_mcgee_fri_am_pic.html

"[Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space] signalled the end of Britpop"

Someone unpack this statement for me plz.

I can see the logic in that statement.

when 'electricity' rode the charts to the top spot, it was clear that oasis had to look to their laurels.

It's almost as if Alan McGee has no actual idea of anything that's gone on in music since 1995 or something. What a crazy thought.

i can relate.

but yeah "new spiritualized LP!!!! time to get excited" is pretty o_O at this stage.

cf those other britpop killers, radiohead.

Other Britpop killers: Blur (OMG THEY TURNED THE SWORD ON THEMSELVES), Belle and Sebastian (OK, yeah, maybe this), Placebo (lol), Ursurei Yatasura ("Hello Tiger" is a fucking banger)

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/77/039_44315~Fred-Durst-Posters.jpg

^^^otm, in general

http://music.guardian.co.uk/urban/reviews/story/0,,2207546,00.html

if i'm parsing this right, stuart price is as cutting-edge as trevor horn was in 1990? or something?

um also trev produced 'kiss from a rose'. great work.

ok time to shine, zingers.

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/music/2007/11/the_brits_2008_make_your_voice.html

And just last week I had the pleasure of witnessing a Planningtorock show for the first time, at the British Library of all places!

"Let's hope they stop hammering their peers on charges of lameness long enough to get the thing out!"

i think we can all learn something from that.

http://www.citypaper.net/blogs/clog/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/nas.jpg

"The street team/Play me at night they won't act right/Understand this is smooth shit that murderers move with"

Suggest that the rolling Guardian zing thread for 2008 be called "Swash Dogs and Diet Coke Heads"

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/music/2007/11/welcome_back_to_listville_uk.html

is this the first sign of mainstream recognition for "no ______, no ______"??

i will use this link next time matt dc claims it's "us" who's obsessed with "them", coz it's all love, basically.

no ______, no credibility, obv.

He's right, few bands would be as weird and wacky a leftfield-out-of-nowhere selection in a list compiled by old music critics than Wire.

Maybe Lynskey is actually Pipecock.

i dunno, i've been listening to KRAUTROCK and thus can't make rational sense of the world. mind: blown.

I'd have hoped for a few more hip hop suggestions to balance out all the country and the inevitable Dylan/Springsteen/Waits/Young cartel, but never mind.

is this the first sign of mainstream recognition for "no ______, no ______"??

My mind automatically filled in those blanks with "no list, no vember". Me so stoopy.

Nominations for what might possibly constitute a 'vember' please.

I think Lynskey is a long-time lurker - this is the second or third time that an idea or meme from ILM or Freakytrigger has turned up in his writing. Sadly 'too much fannydangle' has yet to appear but we can but hope.

I'd be pretty surprised if there are any music journalists who don't at least glance at ILM from time to time though.

So yeah, he's probably Nude Spock, not Pipecock.

Presumably Rosie Swash doesn't, otherwise she wouldn't have tried to friend me on Facebook.
xp

i hope london lite guy does.

ilx is the annoying, teasing younger sibling that the elder one surreptitiously takes style hints from, or something.

Word has it that John Harris has started wearing a scarf indoors and binge eating, so I'd go with that.

</lazy zing catalogue>

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/3067431.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=32F168F2F013CA9AAA6CD8392BFBB4C3A55A1E4F32AD3138

Dorian's posted on here on numerous occasions.

marcello chased him away by saying he should be gassed or something?

Word has it that John Harris has started wearing a scarf indoors and binge eating, so I'd go with that.

</lazy zing catalogue>

-- Matt DC, Friday, 23 November 2007 10:35 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^^^Dude still can't cook a timpano, so fuck him.

marcello chased him away by saying he should be gassed or something?

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 23 November 2007 10:41 (13 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

"him"

Not that much of a lurker. I do post sometimes - just yesterday in fact. I used the "no credibility" thing without thinking where it came from but yes I must have picked it up here.

The idea that Marcello "chased me away" is, however, ludicrous. He seems to have chased himself away.

No Marcello, no credibility.

The idea that Marcello "chased me away" is, however, ludicrous. He seems to have chased himself away.

My legacy is in ruins :(

I'd be pretty surprised if there are any music journalists who don't at least glance at ILM from time to time though.

message board solipsism alert.

Find out what The Lipster's all about (we say "a funny, clever, lovely website run largely by women for women", you can say what you like). Fancy a bit of Sylvia Patterson's take on Amy Winehouse's year? How about what Laura Barton made of interviewing Bjork? It's all ready and waiting.

The beta version has just gone online ahead of the site's full launch in February. We would love for you to sign up, crash test this pilot and leave some comments letting us know what you think.

And we'll keep you posted about the super launch party, our wonderful gigs and events, when exclusive new content's gone up and all sorts of good things like that.

Oh yes, and:

www.thelipster.com

Get involved.

Ike Turner RIP

i think lzbc 2: the zingening should take place at the launch party, so shut it.

http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/A_Night_at_the_Roxbury/a_night_at_the_roxbury_special_edition_dvd__large_.jpg

i've met sylvia patterson. she's a bit mental.

Taking sides; Sylvia Patterson vs Louis Pattison.

AFAIK Louis has never taken the piss out of the way black people talk so I would have to side with him.

Thankfully Dan Hancox has a much more respectful take on the shifting sands of linguistics

http://arts.guardian.co.uk/features/story/0,,1923258,00.html

"Flamboasting" - showing off, partying ostentatiously. Another great neologism.

Can LJ turn up and apologise on behalf of rich white guys again? Thanks.

someone should really do an online dictionary of urban slang, you know?

who was that choad who wrote about 'still d.r.e' in the times? i think he edits gq or the sunday telegraph or something now.

The Times' music journalist Giles Hattersley on one of his favourite songs of all time, "Still D.R.E." by Dr Dre

Great thread, proof that Ewing was LBZC at heart

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2007/oct/30/emap.pressandpublishing

o right i meant that other wank mag, arena.

Another new section, called Intelligence, was planned as a "monthly briefing on the topics that really matter, such as terrorism, politics, pornography and club hopping".

Valerie Solanis OTM

the lipster otm morelike.

why dont you guys just stop reading the guardian if you think its that shit? there are broadsheets with better music coverage than the guardian - the indie for one. andy gill is always good to read. and he actually tells you what he thinks, unlike most guardian writers who tend to repeat PR fluff.

-guardian's comedy urban correspondent used to post round the way
-ilm's comedy urban correspondent used to contribute to the graun
-the guardian's writers seem to follow ilm, so that's always nice
-we zing coz we care
-lol andy gill is shit

I'M SO, SO SORRY

i wonder if laura barton's wonderful 'hail hail rock'n'roll' series will find its way between hard covers.

Laura Barton's writing career just makes me want to phone my mother up and go "Mum, you know how you've only ever owned about six albums in your entire life? Have you considered using that knowledge to compile your own "lol women listen to music too!" column for a major national newspaper?"

At least my mum would drop some fucking Mario Lanza on you kids as well, not fucking All Saints

i wonder what jiggaman's apologi'in for up there.

<i>not fucking All Saints</i>

Therein lies Dom's hidden pain.

This week's featured reviews
Happy Mondays, Bummed
Kicking off our round-up of some of the 2007 albums we missed...

If they don't give the World Domination Enterprises album a decent write up there'll be hell to pay, I'm telling you.

The Indy's music coverage is seriously fucking terrible, especially Andy Gill.

You'd think there'd be a pretty solid market for a music magazine aimed at women, especially if it steered away from patronising twaddle, so I'm sort of surprised no one's ever tried it. A web version, I doubt it.

It's edited by Jude Rogers. Talk about self-defeating.

burning those bridges again, dom. you could be their everett true substitute.

Man, I'm halfway on that bridge already, the site's got strong ties (maybe even set up by, I dunno) S**n A***s

Murdoch-funded, then?

the article about MIA that begins "I’ve never been into hip-hop, frankly" and continues "That is, until M.I.A." is good times.

LINK

It'll be nice to see someone top Hattie Collins's "Thankfully, MIA acts a lot more white than she does Asian" piece on her.

http://www.thelipster.com/articles/2699513

kind of makes me feel *i* could write about music, you know.

so in that sense, punk rock!

Plus! Like a more society-conscious Gwen Stefani, her fashion-forward fluorescent flamboyance (that often looks like extra-terrestrial dress-up in the dark), make her more than likely, single-handedly responsible for Primark’s distribution of £3 gold lycra leggings, so poor girls can dress like super heroes as their little hearts so desire.

Man, if only Bobby Sands had had better dress sense...

What’s refreshing about M.I.A. is that she makes her minutes mean it, offering social commentary and serendipitously melodious reactions to political strife.

Was this written by Geir/via Babelfish?

I voted we forcibly inject Geir with estrogen and send him off to The Lipster

http://www.thelipster.com/articles/2699513

kind of makes me feel *i* could write about music, you know.

so in that sense, punk rock!

Good grief that was hard to read.

thatssexist.gif

We need a THAT'S SEXIST! gif asap

There's fucking commas all over the place where there shouldn't be, way too many "look ma, no hands" moments of needless alliteration, tiny font... it's fucking horrible.

I'd love it if The Independent had good music coverage.

^^^this.

We need a THAT'S SEXIST! gif asap

-- Dom Passantino, Friday, December 14, 2007 2:08 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

royal we

Either that or a "in ur music criticism, smashing ur patriarchy" lolcat

I like that S**n A****s/Murdoch's new company are named after the suicide drug in Children of Men.

Perez Indieton: did you know your blog is one of the first hits that comes up when you search for "jude rogers" "guardian"?

From an email from a certain someone, regards that: "I’m a little aggrieved that you were so unnecessarily rude about me on a blog (and don’t like my professionalism being knocked – I work hard and always check my facts, and I’d welcome if you’d retract that)...."

link (to blog)?

Is that more or less funny than "Marcello Carlin may be the big man on ILX"?

xp

Can you tell me this certain someone's name so I can call them a cunt on the internet? Kthx.

Lipster actually links through to peeps posts on the DiS boards as well.... Try with the Queue and not you one here.

Who is Dingbod? It's not Acrobat is it? Not really his posting-style.

Give you a clue: so far he's mentioned Dougie Donnelly and criticised British music writing.

The piece *was* assessing how people treat the word indie as a contemporary fad, yes. What elements are you referring to that aren't currently in vogue? Not being rude - genuinely interested. The trouble with the term to me seems to be that all the techniques and strategies that were so much part of the original indie mindset – all the DIY stuff – have been co-opted by people with money, and they don't see the difference.

Oh, and oceanRain, I'm not an outsider - not at all. I have been an indie kid since the early 1990s in Wales, a zine-maker, an indie message board user since 2000, and of the small club persuasion – as I'm sure comes across in the piece.

For all the killers and the hundred dollar billers/For real niggaz who ain't got no feelings

Give you a clue: so far he's mentioned Dougie Donnelly and criticised British music writing.

-- Dom Passantino, Friday, 14 December 2007 15:32 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

lol it's Dom, obv.

marcello.

acrobat now posts as pc user.

guess again

^^^luna

nah...i'm nobody, never mind me.

Can we go back to hating women again? Thanks.

Dingbod seems a bit too brash to be Marcello, a bit too one-liner-oriented, but I can't see him posting elsewhere so maybe this is just one of those slight return thingies.

RONG

He's actually Barry Normal

Man, that guy was an idiot.

Good times.

Barry Normal? Jonathan TOSS morelike

"I am worth 1000 ILx posters" he quipped to the firing squad.

http://bcm.bc.edu/wp-content/images/summer_2007/the-old-man-1.jpg

Dingbod Kesterson, yesterday.

Peeling the HALF PRICE sticker off his freshly purchased copy of Rip It Up And Start Again

"what? no stranglers!?"

Rip It Up And FART Again morelike

"I hate the fookin' Stranglers! Change the channel!"

This is grime in its natural state, as heard blasting from kids' mobile phones on buses across London - and, like those kids, the artists here simply don't care what people think of them, which makes for an absolutely magnificent set. There are numerous club bangers par excellence

numerous club bangers par excellence
numerous club bangers par excellence
numerous club bangers par excellence
numerous club bangers par excellence
numerous club bangers par excellence

uh

http://www.mlp.cz/space/opatrilp/Pulp/Do_You_Remember_The_First_Time.jpg

Where the fuck is grime blasting from kids' mobile phones, anyway? Urgent memo to Guardian trustafarians: Soulja Boy and Keri Hilson aren't from New Cross Gate.

i don't know what east end teenagers ever did to get this level of respect and deference really. the skeezy care-in-the-community dude across the street who's always asking after my sister 'simply doesn't care what people think of him' overmuch y'know.

Nick Clegg knows his bassline. "That bass on Money For Nothing - very nimble." Eno was unavailable for comment.

Mr Petridis has his annual go at bloggers.

Although the predictability of his latest ill-informed outburst is perhaps only outweighed by the predictability of this current response, it serves as a salutary reminder of the perils which are posed when journalists are obliged to write against a backdrop of fear rather than love.

Mr Petridis, of course, is a corporate employee of a large trust, in which light it is perhaps obligatory to assess the worth of music in terms of chart positions and net profits alone. As a newspaper with steadily dwindling circulation, largely because of the wider choice available on the internet, The Guardian itself is obliged to act out of self-protection and peremptorily and regularly lash out a feeble fist at writers under no corporate obligation who express potentially threatening ideas (and regular perusal of the rest of the newspaper demonstrates that this is by no means limited to the area of music blogging) - threatening, that is, to the cosy, quasi-Masonic/quasi-cannibalistic establishment in situ whose members ("trained journalists" although such worthies regularly ride roughshod over matters of syntax and punctuation and many seem incapable of distinguishing between a noun and a verb, let alone verbs transitive and intransitive) are secretly envious of independent and articulate writing which they themselves are barred from undertaking, obliged as they are to labour with "criticism" whose aim is to reflect the generality of the status quo/consensus rather than to question and test it; most of the paper's music writing unsurprisingly resembles glorified press releases and I would be surprised if any of it has prompted any reader to purchase a record, or listen to the artist in question; none of these writers could be inspired by a work of music to create a work of literature.

None of this, of course, balances the continued and unutterable contempt which the proprietors of the paper's music section feel towards their readers; note the "yikes" appended to the link leading to Mr Lynskey's admittedly fair review of the Adele album. where a paper editorially sure of itself and morally secure in itself would avoid such crass fossils of apologia. Such pseudo-sycophancy towards its readership belies an underlying hatred, itself based on fear that the readers may wish to venture elsewhere - including online - for writing which does not patronise their intelligence or resemble the average restaurant waiter's scripted preamble. Thankfully, the current plentitude of articulate, creative and original music blogs is capable of reaching the parts which print broadsheets seem no longer willing to penetrate.

Whenever he brings it up it's always "those jerks in the BLOGOSPHERE like this band but actually they're really good!" At least if he said "...and that's how you know it's gonna be wank" there'd be a bit more equivalence

Well, the fundamental error is in conceptualising "the blogosphere" as a hive mind, I think. As regards the blogosophere as a perceived threat, I do actually think that the Guardian have been more astute than its rivals in meeting the culture halfway. GU is stuffed full of the damn things; GF&M have hired bloggers as writers; and FWIW, a friend of mine got a full-time writing job there on the strength of her blog (which still chugs merrily along in parallel to her paid work). So I think the Petridis pop says more about his own discomfort/disdain/whatever, rather than that of his employers.

tbh, if I worked alongside the dudes that write the music blogs for CIF, I'm pretty sure I'd hate all bloggers as well.

Can we stop pretending he's talking about "the blogosphere" in general when we all know full well he's having a pop at Marcello and maybe one or two others? Even a cursory reading of that article should tell you he's not talking about the wealth of blogs that have spent the last year or so bigging up Feist/Spoon/Ed Banger whatever.

This is total pigtail pulling and the intented targets fall for it yet again.

this band sounds awful.

"... explaining the multi-platinum global household-name success afforded blogosphere favourites Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Junior Boys, grime etc."

would Big Al P care to join the LBZC? with game like this, he's welcome.

as natural as a breath of fresh air

Keywords: original, incisive, journalism

This band are great, actually. As to the Great Puzzle of what African music has inspired them, I'd have though that having a song called "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" was a fairly hefty clue (come on AP, do your homework, they're nothing like Juju, Highlife or the blinking Bhundu Boys!) - but then again, they're as much about cheerfully dicking around with Graceland/Sting rich-boy approximations and mis-readings; that's all part of the appeal.

Mr Petridis' predicted reply:

"It's all Africa/black people innit? What are you, an ANALLY RETENTIVE, JEALOUS, SADDO BLOGGER who should be reported to OPERATION ORE for the sake of my children?"

they're as much about cheerfully dicking around with Graceland/Sting rich-boy approximations and mis-readings; that's all part of the appeal.

boy, that sure sounds appealing.

OK, Lex, you've sold this one to me.

Badu herself is serene and strong, picking a steady path through the turbulence as if guiding her people.

ugh/uh

Yes that was a bit ew-worthy but the album itself still sounds interesting.

Lex's reviews ever-more resemble that "I'M LOSING MY PERSPICACITY!" scene in "Lisa's Rival"

What was this "breakbeat garage" then?

Short-lived and largely ignored 'way out' of garage c. 2000-01. As detailed here. AP didn't make that one up...

I remember it being called that at the time, but by hardly anyone. (If you get the 'Roots of Dubstep' comp CD there's a family tree sort of thing with it that acknowledges that title.) He seems to be talking about 2001 not 2000 though?

xpost

To be fair to the Lex, that line in the Erykah Badu review is pretty much paraphrasing one of the songs.

Sorry to go against the spirit of the thread, but once AP stops wittering on about DJ Dee Kline and actually gets round to talking about the unexpectedly gorgeous new Elbow album, I do find myself agreeing with most of his points...

Alas, I listened to the Elbow-dominant Radcliffe show on R2 and they had to send round Westlife to sing me out of my coma.

I am Elbow-neutral, but thought AP was pretty condescending in that review.

[A duet with Richard Hawley called The Fix sounds like the final stages of a competition to find Britain's most charming northern singer. You keep expecting Stuart Maconie to pop up and call it a tie: racing pigeons are mentioned at one juncture, which is perhaps laying on the aye-up a bit thick, but the song is utterly enchanting regardless]

I doubt it's enchanting at all, but the Maconie moment is cute enough.

But - this review starts off, in AP's usual would-be wise and synoptic mode, by speculating that 2000 was the worst ever year for music. 69 Love Songs was released in 1999; it wasn't, I think, widely heard in the UK till 2000, and TMF were still playing the whole thing live in 2001; so it's fair to say 69LS was part of the pop landscape in 2000. I think 69LS is a contender for the greatest pop record ever made. So I think AP is wrong again.

Furthermore, Elbow only released one EP in 2000; the debut album and hits came in 2001.

You know, if you're going to use the worst-year-in-history meme it helps to get the year right, as proper, trained journalists would not hesitate to do.

There are things in Stock Aitken and Waterman's 80s oeuvre so unspeakable that even the US military would have thought twice about playing them at prisoners in Iraq, but Never Gonna Give You Up isn't one of them. By comparison with, say, Let's All Chant by gormless local radio personalities Pat and Mick (a record of such quality that its authors' names later became cockney rhyming slang for vomiting, as in "that lager made me Pat and Mick")

nice research re the rhyming slang - sounds like total Jackson to me tho

original 'let's all chant' is a fun track

We rehabilitated SAW six years ago; do try to keep up, Grauniad grandad.

http://music.guardian.co.uk/rock/comment/story/0,,2272378,00.html

Hail, Hail, Rock'n'Roll

'What I like about churches is what I also like about musical instruments - they only truly come alive with human contact'

Laura Barton
Friday April 11, 2008
The Guardian

The Chapel of St Barnabas sits on Manette Street, between the scuffle of Charing Cross Road and the bluster of Greek Street, at the very edge of Soho. Past the Borderline, before the Pillars of Hercules, a nondescript metal gate leads to a low, huddled doorway and on through a dim passage to the chapel itself, where stands an altar with soft red marble pillars. From time to time, musical performances are held here, before the rows of chairs set out in lieu of pews, in the space beneath the blue semi-dome painted with golden stars, in a small, calm clearing that somehow makes me think of that Lorca line: "The still pool of your mouth, under a thicket of kisses."

A little while ago, I was here at St Barnabas for a showcase held by XL Recordings: there were videos from the Raconteurs and Vampire Weekend, Phill Jupitus played jovial host, and the evening culminated in a live performance by Cajun Dance Party. I have, it occurred to me midway through the evening, probably been to more gigs in churches than I have religious services. From a bill featuring Belle and Sebastian and Arab Strap, to a more recent lineup of Emmy the Great, the Mountain Goats and Micah P Hinson at the Union Chapel in London. And they always enrapture me. I remember going by myself to see Sigur Rós play such a gig one early summer evening, many years ago. The air was still warm, you could hear birdsong drifting through the open chapel door, and as they played, I remember a feeling more transcendent, more glad-hearted than I had experienced at any harvest festival or carol service. It appeared to me then, as it appears to me now, that it does not matter whether it is Silent Night or Svefn-g-englar that fills those church walls; the thing about music in churches is that its performance feels like a celebration of creation, an affirmation of how damned glorious it is to be alive. As Stravinsky put it: "The Church knew what the psalmist knew: Music praises God. Music is well or better able to praise him than the building of the church and all its decoration; it is the Church's greatest ornament."

What I like about churches is somehow what I also like about musical instruments and lyrics and songs - that they only truly come alive with human contact. Cold marble, hard pews, stained glass, share much with guitar strings, piano keys, CDs, sentences, syllables, that in their inhabitation, in their playing there comes the sense of the inanimate made flesh. To hear the heave and huff of the church organ, to hear the swell of the choir and the congregation, to feel music and voices rising to the rafters, is to see life breathed into the building itself. And so to hear Jonathan Richman at the Union Chapel, or Patti Smith incanting at St Giles, or even All Things Bright and Beautiful sung with glory and gusto in a small Lancashire church, brings to me a similar shiver as that first snap and crackle as needle kisses vinyl; the sense that something has been resuscitated.

There was a television series first screened in the mid-70s, named A Passion for Churches, which saw John Betjeman waxing lyrical about the churches of Britain. I've only ever seen it on YouTube, but in the clip I like to watch when I'm far from home or sick of the city, he is rhapsodising about Norfolk churches. There are shots of Wymondham Abbey, the rich green of the churchyard, and stained glass windows showing bewinged and halo-ed angels engaged in silent, motionless musical pursuit: lute, violin and horn; cymbal, trumpet, tambourine and triangle. And then in the final moment comes a clutch of pale-skinned, blue-clad choirboys rehearsing Ye Holy Angels Bright. "Behold! Behold! Behold!" they sing, as the choirmaster tuts, and the piano wheezes, breathing life, suddenly, into their stained-glass friends. And above it all, in its well-articulated chug, rises the voice of Betjeman himself, reading a line from Psalm 150:6: "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord."

The Chapel of St Barnabas sits on Manette Street, between the scuffle of Charing Cross Road and the bluster of Greek Street, at the very edge of Soho.

lawks-a-mercy.

she does not wear her learning very lightly.

[somehow makes me think of that Lorca line: "The still pool of your mouth, under a thicket of kisses."]

yes - things make me think of that, also... somehow.

[As Stravinsky put it: "The Church knew what the psalmist knew: Music praises God. Music is well or better able to praise him than the building of the church and all its decoration; it is the Church's greatest ornament."]

Ah he did, of course, good man yourself.

Her last line seems to be, possibly, hypocritical and half-baked in the way that James Wood said George Steiner's *Real Presences* was: borrowing religious glamour, such as it is, without actually believing it. If you don't think there is a 'Lord', why end your article resoundingly on that word?

most of what she says seems either untrue or just pretentious verbiage -- does she really feel that something has been 'resuscitated' when she puts on a record? as a professional music critic, this is quite surprising -- how many times a day does this happen?

It appeared to me then, as it appears to me now, that it does not matter whether it is Silent Night or Svefn-g-englar that fills those church walls; the thing about music in churches is that its performance feels like a celebration of creation, an affirmation of how damned glorious it is to be alive.

this hasn't been my experience of, say, funerals, but there we are i suppse.

It's just sad that they continue to employ a Church Of Me impersonator because they can't afford the real thing.

Much better to go crazy with Lex going crazy about the OTHER MC MC.

Carey's voice has been mocked, bizarrely, as being a triumph of technique over soul - an argument that fails to comprehend that technique and soul are intertwined, that technique primarily exists as a means to convey emotion

beggars the question rather.

Carey's voice has been mocked, bizarrely, as being a triumph of technique over soul - an argument that fails to comprehend that technique and soul are intertwined, that technique primarily exists as a means to convey emotion

So for lulz do we replace "Carey" with "Joe Satriani" or "Yngwie Malsteem"?

actually, silliest line:

[A little while ago, I was here at St Barnabas for a showcase held by XL Recordings: there were videos from the Raconteurs and Vampire Weekend, Phill Jupitus played jovial host, and the evening culminated in a live performance by Cajun Dance Party]

When I watch a Vampire Weekend video, in a church, with Phill Jupitus, I feel that something has been resuscitated, and I am filled with the magic of just being alive.

I think she was using that anecdote as a means of introducing her broader point, although it wasn't really necessary IMO.

I remember going by myself to see Sigur Rós play such a gig one early summer evening, many years ago. The air was still warm, you could hear birdsong drifting through the open chapel door, and as they played, I remember a feeling more transcendent, more glad-hearted than I had experienced at any harvest festival or carol service.

This might be because you're an agnostic who likes Sigur Ros?

^^^^read that as "I remember going by myself to see Sugar Ray" at first.

To Lex's views re. technique/emotion interface, I would add that the existence of technique as "a means to (sic) convey emotion" might usefully presuppose the existence of some emotion in the first place.

I am actually really fucking annoyed that the Lex has fucked off to Japan for a fortnight and therefore I can't have an argument about this in which I remorselessly mock him.

Mariah Carey is the one artist who brings out my inner Alex in NYC. I don't do ridiculous divas, send them all down the mines for a couple of days.

(I mean, that's overlooking the point that every classical musician in the world would laugh at that particular line).

I'd still much rather read him reviewing the new Madonna album than Petridish with his laboured 180-word preface about the role of tweeds in pop.

Petridis on some "You might expect me as a cool trendy urbane music critic to not like folk... but I do! Ahhhhhh." tip in the latest GQ.

Thank God one music hack is sticking up for Tunng and Adem, I'd hate to live in a world where they were critically overlooked.