This is SHOUTING-for-MODERATOR thread pt. III!! [derailed: go to thread IV]

"Thanks y'all.

I should probably stress that Alan is just the person I sent the code and instructions, he's not necessarily going to be my successor, and more likely several people will be working on it in future. -- Graham 15th April 2003"

I have to go to M&S for my lunch. I started Mod thread IV, for future use, so this one can go where it will.

Graham in all the time I have actually been the obvious living counterexample to your claim, you have never made a sustained attempt — apart from occasional one-sentence thanks — to actually notice me "as a person", or "care about my feelings" or whatever. You keep saying the trade is unfair: but I don't actually think there's any evidence (yet) that you would trade fairly if someone started it off. I'd like to think we're friends — but you don't actually treat me like one.

i agree with what everyone else said pro-alan.

Vicky, explain this phenomena to me: I say something funny to someone. They laugh. I say something else. They laugh again. I think I'm making a good impression. They wander off and speak to someone else. Huh? Next time I see them, they as good as don't remember who I am. So I try again. Same thing happens. Same with email. People plain don't reply.

you try too hard, but you don't actually listen to the advice people give you, let alone take any of it. Which is why you've alienated so many people who now want nothing to do with you.

Step one: Stop saying "sorry" when you totally don't mean it. It's more passive aggression, and it's intensely dislikeable (= many points on the "Reasons Not To Cuddle Graham" charts of literally dozens of readers).
Step two: Say sorry, sincerely, to Alan. You owe him a massive, absolute apology, on AND off-board. (Failure to do this = many more points on the "Reasons Not To Cuddle Graham" charts.)

I realise in the mood you're in this afternoon that one and two may not be simultaneously achievable. Try and ensure this mood passes swiftly.

Step three: one really obvious way of showing reciprocal friendship towards me would be behaving in a minimally civil manner towards people that I like.

I think I'll keep the other steps for personal email.

More seriously, without going into the history, it's very nasty to insult someone for a coding "mistake". It's just a little query rewrite and there are ways of being diplomatic about these things.

Graham, I'm sorry this has happened. You were less than civil with me and I just wasn't in the mood for it today. I'm not changing my mind though. Let's just let it lie.

There was no need to rewrite the query. If you understood how much work I put into making this all work, and how much stress it's caused me, how much hassle everyone put me through wehn stuff didn't work, you'd understand why having some buffoon coming in and changing things without any care for why I might have done things the way I did was so totally offensive to me.

Alan doesn't get an apology until I get one from everyone here that's hurt me.

You know when you grab a kettle and it burns you and that hurts. Well, this is a reaction to tell you not to do it again.

Good luck with that.

Another point on the reasons not to cuddle Graham chart. Don't you get it yet?

Uh, WTF?

This is a shot in the dark, but it may be because you seem to be clinically disturbed and exhibit enough antisocial tendencies to match the profile of the average fictionalized serial killer.