Umbrellas!

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

When it rains, so many people seem to prefer getting wet over putting up an umbrella, or wearing a jacket with a hood (I h8 hoods!). Do you like umbrellas? Tell me about your umbrella.

― jel --, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

they are a nuisance. i get wet.

― nathalie wk, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Pete stole one on a bus yesterday and lost it less than 6 hours later. I have 3 umbrellas but like a fool I never have one on me when it's raining. My current fave is silver and purple.

― Emma, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

of cherbourg!

― gareth, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

mine looks like the ones in this painting :

But its pink

― anthony, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't have an umbrella and the hood on my coat is furry and large so I don't put it on. I'm too mad. My coat apparently means I'm going to "ENJOY THE ARCTIC, ENJOY THE ARCTIC MAN YEAH?". Oh I will, once you enjoy being a fat drunk scumbag...

er sorry....just the whole bus was laughing at that persons shit joke.or so it seemed anyway

― Ronan, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

just silver. it takes a good deal of rain before I dig it out of me bag. light rain is nice.

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

umbrellas are EVIL

― mark s, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Alan is clearly a GURL as Pete reliably informed me yesterday that men have black umbrellas and silver is definitely a girl's umbrella colour.

― Emma, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The day I bring an umbrella somewhere, it'll probably be to cover my bald head and my children.

― Ronan, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yes, i am a gurl. also other people's umbrellas are EVIL. i hate being offered shared umbrella cover, cos this translates as "may i poke you in the eye every now and then". And people are so unthinking when they're wielding these pointy-ended weapons. When passing people going the other way HAVE SOME CARE. Raise it or move it out the way you dullards.

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

One of my bizarre phobias used to be getting my eye ripped out by one of those metal parts at the end of an umbrella. I'd heard about it happening to someone and it seemed so possible.

― Ronan, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I also used to go to gigs with my umbrella sticking out of my bag (I now have super compact umbrella and bigger bag). So, hmmm, sorry if I ever prodded you!

― jel --, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I hasten to add that it was always the handle that stuck out. I'm not that evil.

― jel --, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

An essential appendage living in Brussels. I'm always leaving them on buses or trams or cinémas so rarely get attached to them. I usually go for boring black, but had a red one for a while last year. Currently I have one of these Totes Wonder Light jobs, which is pretty cool since it fits neatly in my coat pockets and attaché case. Maybe I'll manage to hang on to this one for a change.

― Jeff W, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jeff, if ever I bump into you, I'll take yr umbrella and slap you around. Necessary? Hell no. Annoying? Hell yeah. :-)

― nathalie, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I reckon small (i.e. not golf) umbrellas are about the same size as my personal space so if someone walks into the prong of my brolly then they get what they deserve as they are trying to invade my space.

― Emma, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There is no such thing as umbrella ownership. We are merely custodian for a time. (Cf Lighters).

― Pete, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That is the worst excuse for kleptomania I have ever heard.

― Emma, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Invading personal space is inevitable when passing by on narrow pavement though, isn't it? So, please observe umbrella etiquette when doing so.

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Necessary? Hell no. Annoying? Hell yeah.
Are you referring to umbrellas or slapping around, Nath?

Also, pah, rain in Brugge is sissy rain anyway.

― Jeff W, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

when you're six foot 3 umbrellas are a pain in the ass (well, eye actually) it seems like everone carries them at just the right height to try and poke my eyes out. This has lead to street arguements before.

― chris at home, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Alan: I don't care how narrow the pavement is, RESPECT MY SPACE or die you bastards.

Chris: that'll teach you to be freakishly tall.

I just proved to myself that I never have an umbrella when I need it by going out for lunch and getting caught in a downpour while my brolly was safely tucked up in the office.

― Emma, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My hair protects me.

― Graham, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i have given up on using umbrellas - if it's raining and i happen to be carrying one (which i don't even, anymore) i don't usually bother to use it anyway. the MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD are those who insist on putting up their brollies whenever it's like spitting or something, and those who use their brollies on Oxford Street in rush hour. WHY DEAR GOD WHY???

― katie, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It does! Actually, the last umbrella I had was bent horribly in the first gust of wind it encountered, and it was an expensive M&S one - Who the fuck designs these things? Then I kept walking into people and nearly got killed when it blew inside out while I was running across the road in heavy traffic. Then I lost it. Mark has the right idea. And I need a new coat. With lots of pockets. Yes.

― Graham, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Another evil of umbrellas - you never notice when it's stopped raining, so use them willy and nilly. Forgive us Katie.

― Graham, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm more worried about the ends of my trousers getting wet. I mean afterall, my hair will dry, the trousers will rip and then where will I be? Walking home looking like a tramp that's where. And this is all presuming they aren't already ripped from clubjuice.

― Ronan, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sporting an umbrella is great fun when you're on a bike. If you can get the wind from the right direction you can go extra fast.

― David, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Clearly you people don't suffer from hair which goes incredibly frizzy in the rain making you look even freakier than you did to start with. And no I have not thought of getting an old-lady style plastic headscarf. I think the real umbrella problem (based on my scientific study during my lunch hour) is that people without them tend to walk with their heads down against the rain therefore making them more likely to walk into other, possibly umbrella-wielding, people.

― Emma, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

my hair goes well frizzy in the rain, but if i let it dry for about half an hour and then brush it the frizz usually disappears, so i only look freaky for about half an hour. trying to get past a huge crowd of people wielding the fuckers (i mean, people on Oxford St can't even keep moving properly without the added impediment of an umbrella) during peak time is a daunting and horrifying experience. like Chris i fear that my eyes will be plucked out and i'm only 5'6"!

― katie, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, clearly wielding a 'brella w/out due care and attention is a no- no. I see a gap in the market, Emma: UMBRELLA ETIQUETTE

― Jeff W, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Crowded bus and someone gets on and drips their fuckin umbrella all over you. Annoying.

― Ronan, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Emma's Umbrella Etiquette:

1. Don't use a large umbrella e.g. wanky corporate golf umbrella as they are too big.

2. When carrying a folded umbrella please try not to eviscerate those around you by exercising due care and attention.

3. When I have my umbrella up it is to be used as a weapon. However if anyone else's umbrella goes NEAR me I am allowed to tut irritably.

Any further questions?

― Emma, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have switched to hoods and, aside from the mouse incident, am very happy with my decision. I save $3 every time it rains.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Umbrellas are only acceptable if you're going to a) dance about and jump in puddles with it or 2) take off into the air. NB jumping in puddles and wetting people is not allowed.

― Steve.n., Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think we should take a leaf out of the book of Sri Lanka. They have plenty of rain experience i.e. several months of monsoon, and manage to use umbrellas without any of this kerfuffle. Colombo is a pretty densely populated place and yet the people there managed to negotiate the streets / each other with brollies up. I do not understand this brolly hating. I don't want to get wet - what's wrong with that?

― Emma, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Small, dark blue, useful = my umbrella. It did just rain here last night, but I have to say that it always seems like it rains in the night when I'm at home rather than during the day walking around -- a combination that suits me just fine.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

clear dome-like umbrellas that old ladies carry in order to keep their hair utterly raindrop-free: dud or so classic it's what we all should use?

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Unbrellas are fairly rubbish, and I can't be bothered carrying them about. When it's wet I just run faster. And don't start me on the hell of holding one over a lady friend...

My friend was given an umbrella by Stuart Murdoch. She tried to throw it away.

― Ally C, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

but it wouldn't let her??

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

[...] So, hmmm, sorry if I ever prodded you!

What does that have to do with umbrellas, jel? (HAAW HAW HAW)

― Dan Perry, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

heh! I *knew* someone would pick that line to italic-ise! :)

― jel --, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When it's wet I just run faster.
D'oh! This is a sure way to get clothes, esp. trousers, wetter faster. You are running into the raindrops, silly. BUY A BROLLY!

― Jeff W, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When it's wet I just run faster.

[...]

D'oh! This is a sure way to get clothes, esp. trousers, wetter faster.

Are people trying to give me an innuendo meltdown here???????

― Dan Perry, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

taking sides: umBRELLa vs. UMbrella

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

black is black

― Queen G, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i want all my umbrellas back...

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For some reason I am completely unable to hold them properly. It's really sad, and occasionally embarrassing: at least two situations calling for gallant umbrella-holding ended with me walking yards over and telling the woman, "No, I'm perfectly fine -- you just keep that umbrella all to yourself." It's either that or wobbling the thing awkwardly around getting equally wet plus putting Ronan's eye out.

― Nitsuh, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Actually, if anyone could put together some sort of illustrated guide for me, I'd appreciate it.

― Nitsuh, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Skipping 33 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Do not blame our doggy.Its not his fault at all.
Someone left a wet umbrella,standing in the hall!

― arnold house, Friday, 18 October 2002 12:08 (twenty-three years ago)

hoorah! I must applaud every time this thread is revived!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 18 October 2002 12:09 (twenty-three years ago)

my umbrella is red.

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 19 October 2002 03:25 (twenty-three years ago)

yay!

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 19 October 2002 08:46 (twenty-three years ago)

three weeks pass...

Your brolly may well be red, but is it well read and well versed?

― arnold house (arnold house), Friday, 15 November 2002 12:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I have lost two more umbrellas since this thread started.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 15 November 2002 13:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Umbrella phenomena:
1. Not realising it's stopped raining.
2. Getting trhough doors
3. Umbrellas stuffed poorly in to bins, awww.

― Graham (graham), Friday, 15 November 2002 13:28 (twenty-three years ago)

All of my umbrellas are messed up in one way or another. One of them snaps open rather randomly. I'll look in the back seat of my car and see this open umbrella taking up all the room.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 15 November 2002 13:32 (twenty-three years ago)

especially when 2. is a revolving door.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 15 November 2002 14:48 (twenty-three years ago)

hurrah for this thread! - I hear "November Rain" is now the official theme song of the South East of England

― Jeff W (Jeff W), Friday, 15 November 2002 15:01 (twenty-three years ago)

When I was visiting Montreal, I was caught in a rainstorm and ducked into a shoppe where I bought an umbrella printed with big text: "MERDE IL PLEUT".

That made me happy.

My current umbrella is a hi-tech model that opens AND CLOSES with the touch of a button. No, I never close it on myself to gales of laughter from passersby, never.

― Paul Eater (eater), Friday, 15 November 2002 15:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I have an umbrella that just opens at the touch of a button, and it's great fun to torment my dog with it. If you're outside & pop it open towards him, he starts barking at it & jumping around in the air. ;- )

― lyra (lyra), Friday, 15 November 2002 16:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Aw, Lyra! Leave the poor dog alone!

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 15 November 2002 16:07 (twenty-three years ago)

I just had to buy a new one. I don't know, you invest a whole pound in an umbrella, and it breaks. If your quality criterion for an umbrella is that it takes up minimal space in your bag, that scored high, but it did rather fall apart when asked to actually keep some rain off me.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 17 November 2002 15:45 (twenty-three years ago)

three months pass...

I find women who carry colorful umbrellas extremely sexy.

― Stanley Rich, Tuesday, 4 March 2003 14:32 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

Doing some research into a new type of 'rain and wind protection', does anyone have any suggestions on how we can better the existing products?

― Jon Holmes, Wednesday, 9 April 2003 09:16 (twenty-two years ago)

two weeks pass...

Clear is a go.

http://www.asrundream.net/shiroi/tbg.jpg

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 27 April 2003 05:26 (twenty-two years ago)

i have a really bad habit of leaving mine on trains or subways. or when i buy a nice, expensive one (i.e., something with my school's logo), the wind comes along and blows it, i get wet and angry and break it and end up throwing it in the trash. so now i stick to buying really cheapo umbrellas at CVS or Duane Reade.

― Tad (llamasfur), Sunday, 27 April 2003 05:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Death by Chocolate

http://www.womanrock.com/features/images/death_by_chocolate.jpg

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 27 April 2003 06:11 (twenty-two years ago)

YAY! The umbrella thread!

Oh, I heard a Brilliant Green song, they are pretty good. Can't fins their CD's anywhere though.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 27 April 2003 07:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Who needs CDs? I thought all you ILx types were on the down low.

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 27 April 2003 07:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Unlike umbrellas, downloading is too modern and time consuming. And, I like finding stuff in shops. It's all about the tangible.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 27 April 2003 07:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Aww, could jel be any more lovable?

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 27 April 2003 07:53 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.neimanmarcus.com/products/n/F3D2169_n.jpg

PHAT!

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 27 April 2003 09:48 (twenty-two years ago)

My umbrella is broken. I think it died on New Year's.

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 28 April 2003 02:36 (twenty-two years ago)

B-b-b-but what happens to all the broken umbrellas that end up sadly in the bin? WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM!? I'm upset now.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 28 April 2003 03:49 (twenty-two years ago)

they go to umbrella heaven.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 28 April 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I hope so *sad-eyed kid face*.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

That burberry number with the portholes: OHMIGAWD!!! Is burberry becoming the new leopard skin? (Idea for new thread)

― Karen, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 01:23 (twenty-two years ago)

four months pass...

It was great to be able to use my umbrella again after all these weeks of sunny weather.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 30 August 2003 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

You could have been using it as a parasol!

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 30 August 2003 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

It's raining like nobody's business in Kansas, which is nice because now I get to use the tiny little umbrella that I found under the car seat that I didn't know I had. Have no idea where it came from, actually. But boy is it cute.

I think the key to carrying an umbrella is having a small one that fits either in the small pocket of a backpack or the pocket in the car door. But when it's raining and you have to walk 10 blocks, your head will thank you for having it.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 30 August 2003 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, but N, one does feel kinda odd walking around with an umbrella up when it's not raining. I live in a rough area ya know.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 30 August 2003 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

seven months pass...

Another rainy day here in the Mid-Atlantic. What color is your umbrella? Stick or folding?

― Neil, Friday, 2 April 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I refer you to the most lovely ILx thread of all time.Sexy Umbrellas

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Friday, 2 April 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

my umbrella has buttons for opening and closing (with appropraiate arrows). It'll have to go in the bin soon, as the spokes are getting distended, despite my best efforts with pliers. Plus the silver paint is coming off the handle to reveal to the world that it is plastic, not metal.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 2 April 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Black one for work of course, lime green for other occasions, I might still have a dark blue one somewhere. When the black one kicks the bucket I'm thinking it'd be great to rebel and buy a red one or something. Black umbrellas are so, so completely anal.

― Jules from Melb, Saturday, 3 April 2004 01:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Jules, ain't that the truth!

Dunno which kind of poseur I find more tiresome: the back brolly-wielding female homo corporatus, or the (usually) male Big Boss with the golf umbrella the size of a circus tent, signifying that he owns the street he's walking on from doorway to kerbside and when he's comin', you get outta his way.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Saturday, 3 April 2004 07:21 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

UMBRELLA ETIQUETTE UPDATE: If you are carrying an umbrella, please do not walk under awnings and/or along the lee sides of buildings. You have a fucking umbrella; there is no point in making people without them swing out into rain just so you can get even more not-wet.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 8 July 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

I make a point of putting my umbrella down or fold it away when I'm under scaffolding or an awning, out of I think some childish bid for everyone to notice that I am aware that I don't need it at that moment.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 8 July 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Good for you! Also umbrella-less people may well be scurrying quickly from awning to awning, and if you're crowding under there with a big-ass umbrella you could put someone's eye out.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 8 July 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

umbrellas are for NERDS and old people!

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Friday, 8 July 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

1- Ok, am I getting this right? This Arnold House fellow stumbles upon ILX while googling for umbrellas in 2002, and then proceeds to revive the thread time and again, while not interacting with the rest of ILX at all? If so, I love it! It's like a whole new level of bored at work (tho I suppose in his case it was market research, and as such Work of a kind.)

(sorry to arnold if he's actually a long-time poster that I've just never noticed before)

2- As for myself, I've a posh, black umbrella. It goes well with my bowler hat and long black coat. It's probably the dreaded "big boss" model that ppl have spoken out against on this thread, but cultural signifiers being diferent over here, I think (hope?) that it doesn't give off that impression. It's a bitch to find a place to put it when I arrive at class tho.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 8 July 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

I have a ~~posh~~ cheap Walgreens' black umbrella and one that was acquired in circumstances that are not fully remembered but may have something to do with exiting a bar late and in the rain. I like to keep time with my umbrella and my footfalls on the pavement.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 July 2005 21:46 (twenty years ago)

Are there any pictures of Steed on this therad yet?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 8 July 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

http://guardian.curtin.edu.au/cga/art/walk/w10.gif

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 July 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

I think Arnie may have a commercial interest. In Australia the company with rights to the Shelta brand name is called Phillips and HOUSE.

― The Wally With The Brolly (Fred Nerk), Saturday, 9 July 2005 04:36 (twenty years ago)

*sigh* hello old faithful thread.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 9 July 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

I haven't bought an umbrella in a year or two. I got sick of carrying things.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 15 September 2005 09:45 (twenty years ago)

umbrellas are the shit.

― umbrellas are the shit, Thursday, 15 September 2005 10:11 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.