SpongeBob Squarepants is not GAY!

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He only acts that way to get the chicks, dumbass. But Nicole would find him wanting on that front.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

It looks shit!

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Spongebob Squarepants is reeling. He takes Tinky-Winky's hand and looks deeply into those eyes. They've always been so odd. Seeming to be so many colors...green, brown, grey...

Tinky Winky leans forward and takes Spongebob in his arms. The whole scene has an unreal quality to it. "Eh oh...."

Spongebob's heart is beating fast against his ribs as Tinky-Winky tilts his head back and kisses him.

He is absolutely blindsided. Tinky-Winky hasn't done anything like this...ever. Why now?

Tinky-Winky kisses him very, very slowly, enjoying the rare experience of catching Spongebob by surprise. He pulls Spongebob into his lap, legs awkwardly out to either side. While he still has a fairly tight grip, he tucks Spongebob's head under his chin and noses his hair. He rubs his cheek against it, breathing Spongebob's scent.

Spongebob gains leverage by holding the back of Tinky-Winky's head, sending his hair into disarray. He kisses Tinky-Winky's chin and along his jawline.

Tinky-Winky kneads his back with strong but gentle fingertips. There are knotted places all along his spine and he tries to ignore the distraction of Spongebob’s mouth long enough to work them out.

Spongebob traces his tongue along the perimeter of Tinky-Winky's lips. He feels Tinky-Winky shiver slightly as he does so.

Tinky-Winky's hands lose their rhythm. He falls back against the sofa, head back, surrendering to Spongebob. His eyes are closed, but the hands are still tense on Spongebob's back....

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

THIS IS VILEST PERVERSION OF THE WORST ORDER.

It is also the funniest fucking thing I have read in a long while and means that Dan has to buy J. Lu a drink tomorrow night in honor of her abilities to disturb. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

B-b-but Spongebob doesn't have ribs!!!

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 15:50 (twenty-two years ago)

And Tinky Winky doesn't have hair!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Spongebob is not cool enough to be gay. He probably hides in a cupboard and wanks over pictures of Bea Arthur.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I think your second sentence is seriously undermining your first sentence, Nicole.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I've seen this show. I didn't think he was gay. In fact his sexuality never crossed my mind.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

If it had, those would be grounds for self-committal in my book.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

spongebob looks like a rub character from a brit 70s comic -- like one of the chraracters that would pop up and "Oi!" at Cheeky and tell a terrrible joke/pun. that is all

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

at my campus, speculation about the shape of spongebob's penis runs wild...

i have the weirdest feeling that he's related to the talking/singing candle from "beauty and the beast".

― mike (ro)bott, Wednesday, 9 October 2002 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

spongebob looks like a rub character from a brit 70s comic -- like one of the chraracters that would pop up and "Oi!" at Cheeky and tell a terrrible joke/pun.

He's even worse than that.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

In Germany, he is known as SpongeBob Schwammkopf, which means SpongeBob Spongehead.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 10 October 2002 09:04 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAAHAHAHHAHAA those Germans! But oh why must people impose sexuality on cartoons? Boohoo

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 10 October 2002 09:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't mean anyone here of course, I was presuming this is another of those idiotic scandal things like the job on Tinky Winky.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 10 October 2002 09:17 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

he uglee and stupieddddddd

― mandy4, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 00:47 (twenty-one years ago)

You tell them Mandy4.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

MANDY4, DROPPIN' SCIENCE

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG, a sponge with a face is ugly. Hold the front page!

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 00:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Spongebob is definitely gay. He soaks up more jizz than a peepshow mop. I know because I might be animating some spongebob next week. People at the little animation studio here also know Bob Kenny (sp?) who does the Spongebob voice, because this is his home town. Dude also sings in some kind of retro rockabilly band here.

― sucka (sucka), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

SPONGEBOB PORN!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

he'll show ILX's menfolk that square in his pants, he will!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

that's Tom Kenny, i think. he was on Mr Show.

― Kingfish Funyun (Kingfish), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 04:57 (twenty-one years ago)

oops yeah thats the guy!

― sucka (sucka), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 05:00 (twenty-one years ago)

more llike Spoogeblob's Queerpants

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 05:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Eisbar = classic

― sucka (sucka), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 07:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i still much prefer Squarebob Spongepants

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Spoogegob Spermpants

― sucka (sucka), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

i've been SERVED!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Plus SpongeBob has a crush on Sandy Cheeks, the karate-lovin' squirrel from Texas who lives underwater anyway. He might be bi though. There was that episode where he and Patrick play mom and dad and SpongeBob gets mad because he has to stay home all day wearing an apron and Patrick never helps with the diapers...

...oh my god I SCARED MYSELF

― Begs2Differ, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

trust me, in dutch he's gay.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 5 February 2004 00:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I have seen every single episode of spongebob that's ever been translated into dutch.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 5 February 2004 00:08 (twenty-one years ago)

The guy who does the voice of Spongebob's name is Tom Kenny, not Bob Kenny. He's done a ton of acting and voice work. He was also a cast member of Mr. Show.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 5 February 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I have seen every single episode of spongebob that's ever been translated into dutch.

This begs many questions.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 February 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Like, does the existence of a person who has seen every single episode of spongebob that's ever been translated into dutch finally prove the nonexistence of God?

Also, does have it anything to do with legal hash? (Cause I have a hunch that it does)

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

shall i post a really graphic gay spongebob story?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate SpongeBob Squarepants!

Maybe he is not gay. Maybe he's just retarded.

― Aja (aja), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:19 (twenty-one years ago)

he does like that ukulele a little too much

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

He had a bubble thing as his friend for a while.

― Aja (aja), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

we all know how those bubbles are ...

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

That bubble held up the whole line for the restroom.

― Aja (aja), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:40 (twenty-one years ago)

but bubbles can't pee -- they'd pop!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, and that wasn't the worst of it...the bubble paid for his Krabby Patty in bubble money! And annoyed the whole crowd! And they were all gonna pop him because they thought he wasn't real! But then he spoke and got into a bubble taxi and flew away! That was a great ending.

The best episode is when Squidward wants to organize the community band and they're all fighting and messing around, so Squidward quits (fearing ridicule from his old rival Squilliam Fancypants), and SpongeBob rallies the band so that they bust out at halftime with a note-perfect Survivor-like power ballad: "It's the thrill of the fight!" Excellent key-tar action, flashpots, Squilliam catches a heart attack, there's a happy ending...sublime.

SUBLIME not retarded.

― Begs2Differ, Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:50 (twenty-one years ago)

how would a bubble eat?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:51 (twenty-one years ago)

http://shop.nickjr.com/graphics/product_images/p971222reg.jpg

Now he's friends with Barbie!

― Aja (aja), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm leaning towards "retarded" right now.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:52 (twenty-one years ago)

How did "Bob" get into the ocean any way?

― Aja (aja), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:03 (twenty-one years ago)

the church of spongebob squarepants

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

where else would a sea sponge live?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 26 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

http://www.spongezone.net/pictures/squidward/sunbathing2.jpg

― jazz odysseus, Thursday, 5 February 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 6 February 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

That explains why all the twisted kiddie minds exist

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Friday, 6 February 2004 01:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Did I ASK to see Flabby Green Octoass? No I did not.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 01:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't ruin the fetish dream for everyone!

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Friday, 6 February 2004 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"Octoass" sounds like a congenital condition.

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 6 February 2004 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

You turn green and squish ink outta your appendages. No known cure, though....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Friday, 6 February 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

What a good friend of mine (who is also a Spongebob fan, BTW) stated when I sent a link to this thread her way:

"OMG that link is just.... WRONG! *SKEEVE*"

I feel it's especially appropriate for the two posts most immediately upthread from this post to repeat those words of wisdom -- "OMG that line of thinking is just.... WRONG! *SKEEVE*".

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 6 February 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

("repeat"? Crap, I meant "adapt".)

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 6 February 2004 03:44 (twenty-one years ago)

ned's crack about "flabby green octoass" was the wrongest thing on this thread :-o

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 6 February 2004 03:57 (twenty-one years ago)

It was accurate, though.

Also, "crack"!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 6 February 2004 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

you know, talking to me will give you infidel cooties ... or something like that.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:06 (twenty-one years ago)

No. Liking SpongeBob will give you cooties!

― Aja (aja), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:07 (twenty-one years ago)

It was accurate, though.

I mean, there it is. Bulbous and squishy and...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

for once, i am speechless.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:10 (twenty-one years ago)

and then there's that look in spongebob's eyes ... that look of longing ...

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:10 (twenty-one years ago)

And the fact that what is either a tongue with eyes or an extremely suspect looking male member -- again, with eyes -- is looking at said octoass is worse.

(Yes I know it's a starfish or something but please.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Wish I knew what you were looking for/Might have known what you would find...

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:13 (twenty-one years ago)

it's aqua-gene simmons.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Under the SpoogySpongy Way tonight

Some days this octoass is weary

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:14 (twenty-one years ago)

the more i think of it, the more convinced i am that spongebob is really an ALIEN.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.spongezone.net/pictures/spongebob/bubbles.jpg

― jazz odysseus, Friday, 6 February 2004 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

There is only one girl in that picture.

Ah!

Is SpongeBob...bisexual?

― Aja (aja), Friday, 6 February 2004 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

spongebob is fulla sponge love!

why o why did we let this thread die?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 12 February 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Because El Diablo and Dan will never forget. And now you too must die.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 February 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

exual reproduction and ecology of a marine sponge, Petrosia sp., (new species) have been studied at Khang Khao Island and Nok Island, the inner Gulf of Thailand since
December, 1997. The sponge grew mostly on a dominant massive coral, Porites lutea, and obviously showed clumped dispersion. Reproductive biology of Petrosia sp. was
examined by monthly sampling of marked individuals for microtechnically histological analysis in the laboratory. This sponge was viviparous hermaphrodite. Gamete
development of Petrosia sp. from the two study sites showed the same pattern. Spermatic cyst, oocyte and larva were found during December, 1997-April 1998. The severe
coral bleaching phenomenon in the Gulf of Thailand during April-May 1998 resulted in disappearance of gametes and larvae in all samples during May-October, 1998. The
fecundity was higher in the sponge from Nok Island. Releasing of parenchymella larvae were observed in the morning in aquaria. Most larvae settled on live colonies of
Porites lutea. The results from the present study progress debates concerning life history strategies and taxonomy in marine sponges.

― My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Thursday, 12 February 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Please make it stop...

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 12 February 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

forgive me, i know not what i was thinking ...

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 13 February 2004 04:50 (twenty-one years ago)

This is "Sweet Victory," the power ballad sung by SpongeBob at the football game halftime show:

The winner takes all. It's the thrill of one more kill.
The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will.
Don't ever look back on the wind closing in.
The only attack were their wings on the wind.
Oh, the daydream begins....

And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah.
And it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight,
In the sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah.
And the world is ours to follow
Sweet, sweet, sweet victory.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 13 February 2004 04:53 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

Spongebob Rocks!!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.villagevoice.com/bestof/02/pastimes.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 18 April 2004 07:41 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

YALL CRAZZZZY IM IN LUV WIT SPONGEBOB

― TIA REID, Tuesday, 20 July 2004 04:54 (twenty-one years ago)

you mean SPOOGEBLOB'S QUEERPANTS?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

from wikipedia:

In some countries, SpongeBob is a symbol of homosexuality.

THAT SETTLES IT!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 11 September 2004 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

ah, if a wiki-fiddler says it is so it must be so

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 11 September 2004 07:00 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

David Hasselhoff is in this movie. As himself. LIVE ACTION.

(Saw the trailer tonight before Team America. Appropriate.)

I still did not need the OctoAss above.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 16 October 2004 04:07 (twenty years ago)

I bet O'Reilly uses spongebob as a loofah. Or a falafel.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Saturday, 16 October 2004 04:32 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

I m FROM TURKEY.SPOGEBOB' u çook seviyorum.bu yazdýklarýnýzýn konusu bile açýlmazz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― pembe uzun, Saturday, 10 December 2005 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

YOU GUYS ALL SUCK!!! SPONGEBOB IS BETTER THAN YOU. DIE.

― your face, Wednesday, 21 December 2005 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

hahah, spoogebob

― slow jamz and white guy indie acoustic shit (Chris V), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

eight months pass...

http://justforfun.yourpostcardsite.com/images/2323/imagination_border1.jpg

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Friday, 15 September 2006 18:32 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://chhimipenjo.com/wp/images/spongebob01.jpg

― Eisbaer, Monday, 7 July 2008 05:53 (seventeen years ago)

four months pass...

I bet O'Reilly uses spongebob as a loofah. Or a falafel.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Friday, October 15, 2004 9:32 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark

one of the funniest things said on this thread.

― Eisbaer, Monday, 10 November 2008 09:20 (sixteen years ago)

no. but spongebob squarepants is kind of amazing. i saw an episode where spongebob and company end up playing their band in an underwater stadium and i was loling like nothing else.

― Matt P, Monday, 10 November 2008 09:22 (sixteen years ago)

eight months pass...

Ten years of it. The kids that originally saw it are in high school by now.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 12 July 2009 13:49 (sixteen years ago)

And still no global crab burger boom. What's that Nickelodeon marketing department doing all day long?

― StanM, Sunday, 12 July 2009 14:05 (sixteen years ago)

The episode where Sandy returns from Texas with a flea on her coat was better than the final episodes of M*A*S*H and Seinfeld, plus all 8 seasons of Survivor, combined.

― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 12 July 2009 14:35 (sixteen years ago)

seven months pass...

spongebob isn't gay, eh?!?

http://www.sunastar.com/Areas/News/Graphix/SpongeBob.jpg

― there can be only but steam that smells of shit and weaklingness (Eisbaer), Sunday, 21 February 2010 03:03 (fifteen years ago)

pres. nixon would not approve of spongebob squarepants.

― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 21 February 2010 03:06 (fifteen years ago)

And he's saying that Spongebob is like, getting kids used to seeing gay people. And it's like, you know, with Spongebob being gay...kids see gay people, they, like, relate to Spongebob. And they relate to blue people when Krishna comes about, you know.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Sunday, 21 February 2010 13:27 (fifteen years ago)

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