lobberthesaurus: Bill MacFadden was a sensible man.
clobberthesaurus: He'd live in Hocatawana, Oklahoma for nearly his entire life.
clobberthesaurus: (He'd once been to Mexico City to buy cheap black tar heroin, but that is another story.)
clobberthesaurus: He had a small wife and a couple of nice, although rather ugly, children (Betsy and Huckers) and they are lived together in Bill's two bedroom condominium on 2nd Miracle Mile Dr (which was the main street of Hocatawana).
clobberthesaurus: Bill worked as a software programmer at Wild Weasel Internet Solutions.
clobberthesaurus: It was a decent living and allowed him to make enough to (not afford a big enough apartment so that his kids could have separate rooms) have a small rabbit farm which he kept running as a hobby.
clobberthesaurus: His wife, Marthekano, was a stay at home kind of woman. Mostly she took valium and beat their children (who at age 11 and 13) were somewhat of a handful.
clobberthesaurus: So Bill enjoyed the solitary confines of his rabbit farm immensely and took every opportunity to spend his free time there.
clobberthesaurus: Although when one thinks of rabbit farms as places where rabbits frolick about in little cages, humping and breeding to their heart's content, Bill's farm was a little different.
clobberthesaurus: For one thing there were only 5 rabbits.
clobberthesaurus: And they were all male.
clobberthesaurus: And they all had separate cages.
clobberthesaurus: And they all had appeared in upwards of 1,800 home porn movies which Bill kept hidden in a tool shed besides the barn.
PinkMoos553: this story is filthy
clobberthesaurus: The bunnies were well fed and all were in fantastic shape (Bill kept them constantly exercising--he found himself unable to maintain an erection while looking at fat bunnies).
clobberthesaurus: Bill had also injected each bunny with extensive amounts of steroids and they were all very aggressive sexually.
clobberthesaurus: One bunny in particular (Spotty) was a real monster, possessing a member nearly as large as a summer squash which he used to terrorize the other four.
PinkMoos553: haha
clobberthesaurus: He was almost always the star of Bill's films and almost all of them ended with another bunny (sometimes two if Spotty was especially frisky) dragging his sore hind quarters away from the camera in search of a small ice bucket.
PinkMoos553: how small
clobberthesaurus: Bill had never shown these films to anyone (his family had in fact never inquired about the bunny farm--they all assumed it was simply a front for some long running affair he'd been having).
clobberthesaurus: It had never occurred to him to make money of his porn star bunnies and if such an idea had been suggested to him, he would probably had nixed it immediately anyway. The bunny porn was a very personal thing for him and he couldn't very well imagine sharing it with anyone else.
clobberthesaurus: On a day late September though, everything about Bill's (and Spotty's and Gus Gus' and Spotty Jr.'s and Hector's and Mickey's and Quebert's) life was about to change.
clobberthesaurus: For this was the day that the bunnies' got union representation.
clobberthesaurus: (cue violent sounding music)
clobberthesaurus: It seemed like a day just like any other.
clobberthesaurus: Bill woke up early.
clobberthesaurus: His parts were a little sore from masterbating so hard the nite before.
clobberthesaurus: His wife never noticed or at least never commented on the extensive genital bruising which her husband always had.
clobberthesaurus: He woke and showered and prepared for a long day writing code by drinking a fifth of Scotch with a black coffee chaser.
clobberthesaurus: The work day was like any other. There was some bug in the software WIld Weasel had sent out last month (no one was quite sure what the software was supposed to do) and he spent a better part of the day programming patches which people could download from the site to fix various bugs which were developing.
clobberthesaurus: Around noon, Bill started thinking about the rabbit farm and fantasize about the five and a half hours he would spend there later that day.
clobberthesaurus: He'd been browsing porn (human porn that is) earlier that day at work and he'd gotten some fantastic ideas for some role-playing that he thought the bunnies might be into with a little cajoling.
clobberthesaurus: Spotty always seemed game for anything, but sometimes Hector was a little reticent. It would be important to convince Hector how fun playing fireman and cat stuck in the tree would be. Everyone else would probably follow Hector's lead.
clobberthesaurus: The idea of it struck Bill as very very sexy.
― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 23:24 (twenty-three years ago)
clobberthesaurus: As Bill drove his 1995 Ford Focus up to the farm later that afternoon, he was surprised to see the barn door was already open.
clobberthesaurus: Perhaps I forgot to lock it last nite, Bill thought to himself as he shut the door of his lime green hatchback.
clobberthesaurus: Walking up the door though, he noticed a lot of little bunny footprints around it. He had not left the DOOR open! One of the bunnies had opened it!
clobberthesaurus: Although Bill couldn't imagine one of his bunnies escaping (they were well well fed and lived in veritable luxury and got to have lots of HOT HOT HOT sex with a well hung bunny stud--what better LIFE was there than this one) he still was frightened that one of them had run away fascinated with some curious notion about the outside world.
PinkMoos553:
Gay Rabbit Pornclobberthesaurus: Dammit ANTHONY!
clobberthesaurus: This was my story for you!!
PinkMoos553: im sorry :-(
clobberthesaurus: And that is MY REAL AIM NAME!
PinkMoos553: oh fuck
clobberthesaurus: Hahaha
PinkMoos553: ok
PinkMoos553: im sorry
clobberthesaurus: It's okay.
clobberthesaurus: Hopefully no one will notice and I won't be deluged by perverts.
PinkMoos553: ithotitwasfunnyandyouarev.good
clobberthesaurus: As he passed through the door, he sighed with relief. All his bunnies were there, sitting sexily on a bale of hay.
PinkMoos553: sexily ?
clobberthesaurus: Spotty in particular looked very hot, his mammoth member hanging between his legs as he reclined in a very relaxed fashion.
clobberthesaurus: Bill was curious about how the bunnies had gotten out of their cages, but he was more excited about putting his role playing plan into action. Before he could approach them and show them the print outs he had made from the web, Hector stood up and clapped his hands softly together.
clobberthesaurus: Bill froze.
clobberthesaurus: Never had one of the bunnies behaved in such a commanding way towards him.
clobberthesaurus: But here was Hector looking directly at him, standing on his TWO back paws, basically ordering him to pay attention.
clobberthesaurus: "Um. . . is there s-s-something you would like to say, Hector," Bill asked, stuttering slightly. He was afraid, although he could not say of what--he had always assumed that the arrangement that he and the bunnies had would continue like it had into perpetuity. Something told him that this was about to change.
clobberthesaurus: Hector reached behind his back and tossed an object to Bill. It landed at his feet. Bill reached down and picked it up. It was a piece of paper, a lime green color. It was somewhat stained and worn looking. It had been meticulously folded into a small square (presumably by Hector so it would be easier to toss.)
PinkMoos553: hector is talented
clobberthesaurus: Bill opened the paper, it was apparently a flyer of some sort and began to read.
clobberthesaurus: ARE YOU BEING OPPRESSED BY YOUR EMPLOYER, it read across the top. IF SO THEN YOU SHOULD
ORGANIZE
clobberthesaurus: Contact your local AFLCIO office at this number and we will set up adequate representation for COLLECTIVE BARGAINING, STRIKE NEGOTIATIONS or CONTRACT FULFILLMENT.
clobberthesaurus: Bill was shocked. What did this mean? What were the bunnies going to do? What did they want?
clobberthesaurus: Where they all in on this or was this just Hector?
clobberthesaurus: He began to stutter out a response, but before he could even complete a single word Hector raised a paw. Reaching behind his back he tossed another object to Bill. It also landed at his feet.
clobberthesaurus: Looking down Bill recognized it immediately as a business card (a plainer version of the kind he had from Wild Weasel). This was what was printed on the card:
clobberthesaurus: Clark Johansson
Head of Local 29459 AFL-CIO
clobberthesaurus: He picked up the card and stared flabbergastedly at it.
clobberthesaurus: THE BUNNIES HAD ALREADY CONTACTED THE UNION!?!?!?
clobberthesaurus: Baffled he flipped the card over. Written on the back was one line.
clobberthesaurus: "Call me and we can discuss ending the work stoppage."
clobberthesaurus: As Bill looked up, he realized the bunnies were moving from their seats on the hay. Each stood up and moved towards the door of the barn, not looking back, not even acknowledging the existence of Bill.
clobberthesaurus: They passed through the door quickly and then they were gone.
clobberthesaurus: Bill stood there, looking at the business card, wondering how they got the flyer in the first place.
clobberthesaurus: He looked out to the tool shed and realized that the place where he had stored years upon years of documents of his bunnies' love had been burned to the ground. It was all gone.
clobberthesaurus: He felt a vague moment of self-pity, but as he began to think, he realized that it was not the end of the world.
clobberthesaurus: There were plenty of bunnies out there who would be happy to take the place Hector, Spotty and the rest.
clobberthesaurus: He wasn't a bad man and the life he offered was a good one.
clobberthesaurus: He would start over again and this time he would insure that NO news of unions or commies like the AFLCIO would reach the ears of his precious darlings.
clobberthesaurus: This time it would be different.
clobberthesaurus: The End
― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 23 October 2002 00:12 (twenty-three years ago)